Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Reflections on Jesus of Nazareth

Talks given from 21/12/75 am to 31/12/75 am

English Discourse series

11 Chapters

Year published:

Originally the series was published as "Come Follow Me, Vols 1 + 2". Later in 1991 republished as four volumes under the title "Come Follow To You".

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #1

Chapter title: This in remembrance of me

21 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

John 13

1 NOW BEFORE THE FEAST OF THE PASSOVER, WHEN JESUS KNEW THAT

HIS HOUR WAS COME THAT HE SHOULD DEPART OUT OF THIS WORLD

UNTO THE FATHER, HAVING LOVED HIS OWN WHICH WERE IN THE

WORLD, HE LOVED THEM UNTO THE END.

Matthew 26

17 NOW THE FIRST DAY OF THE FEAST OF UNLEAVENED BREAD THE

DISCIPLES CAME TO JESUS, SAYING UNTO HIM: WHERE WILT THOU

THAT WE PREPARE FOR THEE TO EAT THE PASSOVER?

18 AND HE SAID: GO INTO THE CITY TO SUCH A MAN, AND SAY UNTO

HIM: THE MASTER SAITH, MY TIME IS AT HAND; I WILL KEEP THE

PASSOVER AT THY HOUSE WITH MY DISCIPLES.

19 AND THE DISCIPLES DID AS JESUS HAD APPOINTED THEM; AND THEY

MADE READY THE PASSOVER. 14

Luke 22

14 AND WHEN THE HOUR WAS COME, HE SAT DOWN, AND THE TWELVE

APOSTLES WITH HIM.

15 AND HE SAID UNTO THEM: WITH DESIRE I HAVE DESIRED TO EAT

THIS PASSOVER WITH YOU BEFORE I SUFFER:

16 FOR I SAY UNTO YOU, I WILL NOT ANY MORE EAT THEREOF, UNTIL IT

BE FULFILLED IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

17 AND HE TOOK THE CUP, AND GAVE THANKS, AND SAID: TAKE THIS, AND DIVIDE IT AMONG YOURSELVES:

18 FOR I SAY UNTO YOU, I WILL NOT DRINK OF THE FRUIT OF THE VINE, UNTIL THE KINGDOM OF GOD SHALL COME.

19 AND HE TOOK BREAD, AND GAVE THANKS, AND BRAKE IT, AND

GAVE UNTO THEM, SAYING: THIS IS MY BODY WHICH IS GIVEN FOR

YOU: THIS DO IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME.

20 LIKEWISE ALSO THE CUP AFTER SUPPER, SAYING: THIS CUP IS THE

NEW TESTAMENT IN MY BLOOD, WHICH IS SHED FOR YOU.

THE great German philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer, was on his death-bed in much pain and suffering. One evening, just before he died, he cried loudly,'Ah, my God!'

The doctor who Was attending to him was surprised because there was no place for God in Schopenhauer's philosophy. So he said, 'Sir, is there any place for God in your philosophy?'

Schopenhauer opened his eyes and said,'In suffering, philosophy without God is insufficient.'

The word 'insufficient' is very significant. Let us contemplate on it a little more.

Even on his death-bed, Schopenhauer remains a philosopher. A philosopher goes on thinking about God, at the most, as a hypothesis: sufficient or insufficient? But God remains, more or less, a hypothetical thing. God is not reality. Maybe the concept is needed because it is difficult to explain many things without it, but the hypothesis is a hypothesis and can be discarded at any moment. Any moment that we can explain life without Him, We will be ready to explain life without Him.

God is not life. Rather, He is a hypothesis to explain the mystery of life. A hypothesis is a need of ignorance. When man becomes more and more knowledgeable, the darkness of ignorance is pushed away more and more. God will be thrown, God will be dethroned because then He will not be needed.

Schopenhauer says,'In suffering, a philosophy without God is insufficient.' In suffering man feels his helplessness: fear, death, pain, and there is no explanation for it. The suffering is so much, and unexplained. Then one cries out of fear, anguish, anxiety, 'Ah God, my God!' But this God is bogus. It may be a need of human frailty, human limitation; it may be a need of human weakness, human helplessness, but it is not reality. It is not that you have come to realize the truth of it. At the most, it is NEEDED. You feel too much alone, in the dark, without the concept of God. At the most, it is a make-believe. It helps, it consoles, it gives a certain comfort when comfort is needed. It is what Marx calls 'the opium'. In suffering, opium is needed -- something through which you can forget the suffering -- but this is not the true God. The God of the philosophers is not a true God.

Then there is another God -- the true God. The true God is not a hypothesis, it is a realization. And the true God reveals more when you are celebrating than when you are in suffering.

Just try to understand this: whenever you are happy you don't need God. Who needs God when one is happy and enjoying life, full of energy and vigor? When life is a fulfillment who needs God? Then the philosophy is sufficient without God. In happiness, nobody remembers God. If you remember God when you are happy, there is more possibility to know Him than when you remember Him in suffering, because in suffering everybody remembers. It depends more on suffering than on you. It is part of a suffering mind that it feels helpless. If you can remember God while celebrating, it is not natural; it is supernatural. While you are perfectly happy and feeling fulfilled, each moment of life is being lived in delight, you are flowing, nothing seems impossible, you are succeeding, nothing seems far away, beyond your reach, you are at the peak of your life, young, alive, it is unnatural to remember God then. But if you remember Him then, there is more possibility of encountering the reality of God.

Why? -- because in the first place it is almost impossible to remember. If you remember while you are happy, then you are already moving out of the unconscious. You are making a conscious effort; you are already awakening; you are no more asleep. In sleep things simply happen to you. When you become a little more awake, then you are not just a victim, then you can choose.

Remember this: the God which you remember in suffering is just a projection of your mind. The God which you remember in celebration is no more a projection of your mind, because mind is perfectly satisfied when you are happy. Mind means philosophy. When you are unhappy, then the mind is not sufficient --

then you need somebody's help, then you need somebody's shoulder to lean upon; then you invoke God. The God of Schopenhauer is false.

Now let me tell you another anecdote.

It happened in Pascal's life. One evening, for no reason whatsoever, he was feeling very, very happy.

And remember this, that whenever happiness comes to you, it comes for no reason at all. Suffering has a cause, happiness none. Suffering is caused by something. It is part of cause and effect: the mechanical world. Happiness is not caused by anything. Whenever you are available, it happens, as if happiness is your nature; whenever you settle into it, it happens. Unhappiness is not your nature. It has to be caused, it has to be created.

Remember, others can cause suffering for you, but they cannot cause happiness.

Once you understand this, they cannot even cause suffering. You can cause suffering for others, you cannot cause happiness. Once you understand this, you stop causing suffering also. Suffering is part of the cause-and-effect chain.

Happiness is a spontaneous arousal of life. Where there is no cause for suffering, suddenly it is there. It has always been there, but you have been too focused on suffering.

That's why Buddha says,'Don't be worried about happiness, about bliss. Don't talk about SATCHITANAND, don't talk about ultimate bliss -- there is no need.

Just know how not to cause suffering.' If suffering is not there, the very absence of suffering is bliss, because bliss is your intrinsic nature. It is not something that comes from the outside.

Watch: whenever suffering is felt, you will always feel as if it is coming from the outside, and whenever you feel happy, you simply feel that happiness is arising from within you. Happiness is a flower of your own consciousness. Suffering is a thorn which has entered into you: alien, foreign, not of you. So whenever you suffer you start thinking that somebody, somewhere, must be responsible for it; known, not known, but somebody must be responsible for it. Whenever you are happy you never think that somebody is responsible for it. Whenever you suffer, you enquire as to the cause. Whenever you are happy, you never even ask.

If somebody is happy and he asks,'Why am I happy?' it will look absurd, it will look foolish, it will look mad. You are happy -- that's all. There is no 'why' to it.

But if somebody in suffering asks,'Why am I in suffering?' nobody can say that he is asking irrelevant things.'Why' with suffering is relevant, with bliss it is irrelevant.

One evening Pascal was feeling happy, suddenly, for no visible cause -- because there is none. He was happy, calm and collected; quietly the inner river was flowing; there was no blocking, the flow was perfect. Floating, in a deep let-go, he fell asleep. In the middle of the night suddenly he awoke, and he was so happy that he couldn't believe it -- happiness was showering from everywhere!

He danced -- he had never danced. He started singing and he wrote a few lines on paper. These are the lines:

'Fire -- God of Abraham,

Isaac and Jacob,

God of Jesus,

not of the philosophers and the scientists.

Certainty, certainty, feeling, joy, peace;

the world has not known you,

but I have known you.

Joy, joy, joy, tears of joy!'

The next morning he was a totally different man. People who had known him for his whole life could not recognize him. He sewed the piece of paper in his coat and carried it the whole of his, life. Sometimes, suddenly he would look, read the lines and his face would again become radiant; again he would remember. Even the remembrance of that experience would bring the experience again to him. It was a deep inner orgasm.

Let me repeat: God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob -- God of very simple men, ordinary men: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob; God of Jesus, not of the philosophers -- not of Hegel, Kant and Schopenhauer; God of very ordinary people: of Kabir, of Meera -- not of Radhakrishna, not of philosophers. Then, it is a fire in which you are burnt completely, in which you disappear and only God remains.

Whenever the real God is faced, you disappear. There is a Jewish saying: Nobody can see the living God. True, absolutely true. Nobody has ever seen the living God, because before you open your eyes, you are gone. It is fire. It burns you utterly and there is no coming back. It is the point of no return. Remember that whenever Jesus talks about God, he talks about this fire.

So, the God can be approached in two ways. In suffering, in old age, on the death-bed, you can take SANNYAS, as it has been done in India for centuries.

When you are dying, the life is slipping out of your hands and you cannot cling anymore; in that impotence you say,'I renounce.' Just look at the absurdity of it: when life is renouncing you, you go on playing the ego game; you say,'I renounce. Wait a minute more; life is renouncing you itself. You are already being carried towards the rubbish heap!

It is said that one day Diogenes and Alexander went out of the town for a morning walk. They came across a cemetery and Diogenes started looking at the skulls and the bones, and there was a big heap. Alexander was disgusted and he said,'What are you doing?'

He said,'I am looking for your father's skull. He was such a great emperor, your father. Come please, because I cannot recognize which one is your father's skull.

You may be able to recognize it because he was your father. And don't feel so disgusted, because sooner or later we will be on this heap also, and nobody will be able to recognize! Remember Alexander, nobody will even be able to recognize who was who.'

When you are on your death-bed, just being carried toward the grave, then you start thinking of God. You have missed the opportunity. When you were young, you had something to offer to Him. Now you have nothing; you are a wasted opportunity. You are already empty, hollow. Now there is nothing to give to Him. How can you offer yourself to Him? -- you have nothing to offer. The song that you could have sung, you never sang; the dance that could have been your life, you missed; the flower that could have been offered to Him, you never helped it to open. In fact, you did all that was just the contrary, just the opposite of it. And then you think of renouncing, and then you think of God, and then you think of prayer. When the heart is already dead, you think of prayer....

Remember this: while you are flowing and young, that is the moment of sannyas, that is the moment of offering yourself to God. Don't postpone it. All postponement is dangerous, because with the very idea of postponing there is no end to it. You will go on postponing.

The God of Jesus is the God of youth. He died very young. He offered himself very young; he was fresh, he was young. He was at the very peak, only thirty-three when he offered himself; and he offered himself totally. That is the meaning of crucifixion, that is the meaning of sannyas. He was a sannyasin. He offered himself totally When you offer totally, it means death.

While you still have life, offer it to God. It will look like death, but it will become a resurrection. If you give yourself totally, God will give Himself totally to you.

You will lose nothing; you will gain much. For nothing, you will gain the Whole.

There are a few lines from T. S. Eliot. You must have heard them. They are of the most beautiful poems of this century:

Between the idea and the reality,

between the notion and the act

falls the shadow.

Between the conception and the creation,

between the emotion and the response

falls the shadow.

Between the desire and the spasm,

between the potency and the existence,

between the essence and the descent

falls the shadow.

That shadow is the ego. Nothing is hindering you except your idea of'I am'. The more you feel you are, the farther you are from God. The more you dissolve your'I am-ness', the closer and closer you come to Him. Jesus crucified is nothing but a symbol of the ego crucified, the ego dissolved. Then the shadow disappears, and that shadow is hiding the reality.'

Between the idea and the reality, between the notion and the act falls the shadow'

-- and that shadow is yours. The bigger you think you are, the bigger is the shadow. The smaller you think you are, the smaller is the shadow. And if you think that you are not, the shadow disappears. Once the shadow disappears, you know what reality is.

Now, the sutras:

NOW BEFORE THE FEAST OF THE PASSOVER, WHEN JESUS KNEW THAT

HIS HOUR WAS COME THAT HE SHOULD DEPART OUT OF THIS WORLD

UNTO THE FATHER, HAVING LOVED HIS OWN WHICH WERE IN THE

WORLD, HE LOVED THEM UNTO THE END.

If the shadow disappears, suddenly you know eternity. If the shadow disappears, the division of time disappears. Then there is no past and there is no future; then there is no present also, just eternity. Then you see through and through. That's why Jesus could feel that his hour had come, the time had come, and he was to depart from this world. You cannot even see when death knocks on your door; you think that some guest has come, you think that maybe it is just the wind blowing. You cannot see death because you have not even seen life.

You cannot see into the future because you are missing even the present. The present is the door.

Remember that the present contains all past, and the present contains all future.

In fact, the moment of present is eternal: nothing comes and nothing goes. It is always there; only we come and go, only we come and pass. The reality is always there in eternity. The divisions of past present and future are the divisions of our own minds, because we cannot see the total. Our eyes are very, very small; we cannot see. Our window is too small, so we can only see the parts.

Have you observed that even with a small pebble, you cannot look at its totality?

When you look to one side, the other side is hiding. You know the whole pebble is in your hand -- it is just on your palm, but you cannot see. It is such a small pebble, but you cannot see its totality in one glimpse. First you see one side, then you turn and you see another side, and you will never be able to see both sides together. Then, just in your imagination, you join both sides and think that you know the whole pebble. If you cannot see a small pebble in its totality, how can you see the reality in its totality? You see just parts of it.

Because of this limited vision, that which has passed before your eyes becomes the past, that which has not passed yet and will be passing is the future, and that which is passing just between the two is the present.

If there is a God -- I say 'if' because of you, not because of me -- if there is a God, there cannot be any past because nothing will ever pass beyond His vision, and there cannot be any future because nothing can be which is not yet in His vision.

For God, only present exists. So to say'God was' is wrong; to say'God will be' is wrong. God is. In fact, to say'God is' is also repetitive, because God means is-ness. To say'God is' is just to repeat the same thing again and again. It is as if to say 'is-ness is'.

A man like Jesus, whose shadow has disappeared and nothing else is to be renounced, just the shadow, can see when his hour has come, that he is going to depart. But it is not death. He knows that he is going to depart from the earth, but that departure is going to become a meeting with the Father. Jesus goes on using this beautiful word'Father' again and again. Contemplate upon it. The moment you say'Father', God becomes the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

When you say'God', it is already a concept in philosophy. When you say'Father', an immediate personal relationship arises. Then you are not far off. You may have gone astray, but you remain the son. Even the one who has become absolutely corrupt is still the son. Even the one who has sinned, who has gone far away and has forgotten his Father, still remains the son -- because there is no way to renounce your son-ship. Once a son, forever a son. And when you say'Father', God is not a concept; it becomes a relationship. It is not a word, it throbs with life. Now it has a heart. Once you say'Father', suddenly you feel that the whole existence has a deep compassion for you, just like a father. You can sin and you can ask to be forgiven -- that's the beauty of Jesus.

In India we have missed that. In India we have been very calculating and very philosophical. We say,'If you have sinned, if you have done bad KARMAS, then you have to do good karmas to cancel them.' Because the God is more or less a philosophical concept; He is just. Whatsoever you have done, in the same coins you will be repaid; whatsoever you have sown, you will have to cut and reap.

God is just, ultimate justice. But when Jesus says,'Father', God is more compassion and love than justice. Remember, if God is compassion, sometimes He can forgive. If He is simply just, He cannot forgive; you cannot ask for his mercy. And Jesus says that man is so ignorant, and man has committed so many sins, that if man has to cancel them by doing good deeds, it is almost impossible.

Unless God's grace descends, man cannot be saved. When Jesus says'Father' he means all these things.

The simple word 'father' implies much. It is a relationship, a love relationship.

You can ask to be forgiven and He will have to forgive you. In fact, he is not a stranger. You need not be shy; you can confess, you can depend, and you can trust that He loves you. And His love is greater than your sin, His compassion greater than your mistakes, than your errors. He is greater than your ignorance; His light is more than your darkness. When Jesus says'Father', he creates a possibility for prayer. If God is just a bare concept, then how can you pray to a bare concept? You cannot pray to the absolute, you cannot pray to the BRAHMAN, because prayer will be absurd. You can pray to the Father; you can ask like a small child. In fact, you can DEMAND to be forgiven and you can trust. Prayer is fruitful because the existence is related to you. Existence has invested much in you, you are nothing but its extensions. That is the meaning of

'son' and 'father'.

What is a son? -- an extension of the father. The father continues in the son; it is a continuum, a continuity, a replica, a reflection. Prayer is possible with Jesus.

Prayer is not possible with Shankara; the God is absolute Brahman. You can change your life, and through your change you can achieve to Him. But Jesus says,'Pray, and the transformation will follow. The transformation is bound to follow. You pray. Don't you go on carrying the burden. You just say to Him,

"Forgive us."'

NOW BEFORE THE FEAST OF THE PASSOVER, WHEN JESUS KNEW THAT

HIS HOUR WAS COME THAT HE SHOULD DEPART OUT OF THIS WORLD

UNTO THE FATHER, HAVING LOVED HIS OWN WHICH WERE IN THE

WORLD, HE LOVED THEM UNTO THE END.

In fact, love is always 'unto the end'. If you love, you love forever. If you don't love, only then does love change. Love is eternal. Once you love, now there is no way to go back. Love is such a phenomenon: it absorbs you, it does not leave you outside. You cannot cancel it. You cannot say,'Now I have moved backwards.'

There is no going back. Love is a total commitment. And unless it is total and whole it may be something else, a false coin, but it is not love.

... HAVING LOVED HIM OWN WHO WERE IN THE WORLD...

Who are these 'his own'? -- the disciples, those who opened their hearts to his light, those who opened their beings to his being, those who loved him, and loved him so tremendously that they trusted him.

Trust is the greatest thing in the world that can happen to a man, because it is the most impossible thing. To trust somebody else is almost impossible, because doubt continues. Howsoever you trust, the other is the other. Who knows? How can you penetrate the other? You can at the most know something ABOUT him.

You can know his biography, but the biography is always less than the man, and the man is still there, alive. The book is not yet closed; much more is still going to be added. Who knows?

And man is freedom. The man may have been good up to now, but what about the next moment? The next moment he can change, he can suddenly change. He can throw all his past and move in a new direction. Who knows? How can you trust the other? It is the most absurd and impossible thing in the world. But impossibles also happen, and once they happen they give you a totally new being.

I will tell you one story where a painter has described the way he recognized his calling. Somebody asked him,'How did you become a painter?' The man had not been a painter up until his fiftieth year. He had lived as a broker, and you cannot imagine a broker becoming a painter. The callings are so different. The broker lives in the world of calculation, mathematics, logic -- he lives in a very worldly world -- and the painter is very unworldly. He lives in some unknown dimension. He looks like a fool. He has no logic, he lives an illogical life: uneconomical, unworldly. Somebody asked,'What has happened?'

The painter described his calling in a parable:'The Parable of the Ducks' he called it. He said,'In this parable is the whole story of how I was transformed.'

He was living in a certain part of France. It was autumn, when the ducks and the wild geese fly south.

'At the time of the migrations a strange trait is seen in the regions where duck and geese are in great numbers. The domestic birds are, as it were, magnetized by the wild birds' great triangular formations, and they themselves attempt an awkward flight but fall within a few feet. When the wild birds come, the domestic birds are magnetized by their triangular formations in the sky, by their flight, by their freedom. The domestic birds are magnetized and they also attempt, of course, an awkward flight. The call of the wild has been aroused in the strongest way possible. There is some strange vestige in the domestic birds.

Something has happened: something in their unconscious is suddenly aroused, something deep in their hearts is touched by the wild birds. For a moment, the farm ducks are changed into migratory birds. In that little hard head of theirs where small images of tides, worms and ants whirl about, there appear continental distances; the thirst for the sea winds and the vast expanse of the oceans, and the duck staggers from left to right in his fenced-in enclosure, caught by this sudden passion, not knowing where it is taking him, and by his vast love of an object which is unknown to him.

'Likewise man, gripped by evidence of something he is uncertain of, discovers this sudden truth of freedom. Just like the domestic duck, he is also unaware that his tiny head is large enough to contain oceans.'

Whenever a Jesus walks by, you may be a domestic duck, but there comes a wild bird. Suddenly something in you is touched. Suddenly you are no more the domestic bird, no more in bondage, no more a GRASTHA, no more a householder. For a moment you have also become a sannyasin. Just the presence of a Jesus or a Buddha, and something which has always been asleep in you is awakened. He has touched your being -- and the deep desire for freedom, and a deep desire to move into the sky, to go in search of the unknown. This is trust.

You cannot be certain of what has happened. You cannot be certain of what has touched your heart. You are uncertain, but this much is certain: that something was touched, and something which is so significant that you are ready to risk your whole life.

This is trust: the courage to risk your secure life for an unknown end. Nobody knows whether you will be able to reach or not. Nobody knows whether anybody has ever reached or not. But now, nothing matters. Now you are no more a calculator; now you take the jump. Now only this adventure has meaning, and nothing else; and you are ready to sacrifice everything for it. This is what Jesus means when he says that he has loved his own in this world.

You are my own. If I have touched your heart and released the desire, the utterly impossible desire to be free, if I have been a wild bird to you and I have broken the bondage of your domestic habits, and you are ready, even in an awkward way ready to fly, ready to try, then you are my own. Jesus says again and again,'Who is my family? -- those who have understood me. Those who have recognized me, they are my brothers and sisters, they are my family.' He loved them unto the end, and only a Jesus CAN love.

Kahlil Gibran has written a parable. It is not reported in the Gospels. It may not have happened, but it seems absolutely true. If it has not happened, then it should have happened. But it IS true.

One day Jesus was walking, moving from one town to another. He came across a big garden, and under a tree he rested. The garden belonged to Mary Magdalene.

That's how for the first time Magdalene became aware of this man Jesus. She looked from her window. She was a famous prostitute, rich, and many rich men used to knock at her door. To attain to her love was very difficult; there was much competition. And she was one of the most beautiful women ever.

Suddenly she looked at Jesus and she forgot who she was. She came out of the house as if magnetized -- the wild bird had brought the domestic bird out of its bondage. She went running; she forgot who she was. And this was just a wanderer, a vagabond. He must have looked like a hippy; he was poor and lived moment to moment. She awoke him and told him,'Young man, why are you resting here? Come into my house.' She became attracted to him. She fell in love.

Jesus said,'Next time when I am passing through this road, I will come into your house, but now I am rested and I have still far to go, a long distance. Thank you.

Next time if I pass, I will come.'

She felt offended. She said,'You don't know who I am? Have you ever heard the name of Mary Magdalene?'

Jesus said,'I know you, I have heard your name, I have looked at you, I recognize you. Thank you, but next time whenever I come, I will come into your house.'

Mary Magdalene must have gone mad. She said,'I offer you my house, I offer you my heart and love. Can't you be a little polite, a little loving, a little compassionate?'

And Jesus said,'Only I can love you, nobody else.'

Here ends Kahlil Gibran's parable.

Jesus says,'Only I can love you, nobody else.' And that's true, because to love one has to BE love. How can you love when you have not become love yourself, when you have not attained to the state of love? How can you give it when you don't have it? You are like two beggars standing before each other, begging. Both are beggars, and both are hoping that the other is going to give! That's the misery of all lovers: two beggars asking for love. And when they don't get it they feel frustrated, they feel cheated, they feel the other is holding. Become a little more alert -- the other has not got, as you have not got. Jesus is right when he says,'Only I can love you, and ONLY I can love you.' To love, one has to become love. To give, one has to have it in the first place.'He loved them unto the end' --

and love knows only the beginning; it knows no end. In spite of everything it goes on loving. It is unconditional -- it is its very nature to be unconditional. A conditional love is a form of hatred. A conditional love is a form of exploitation.

A conditional love is nothing but an infatuation, sexuality. Unconditional is the only way love can be. Wherever a condition comes in, love disappears. It cannot live in bondage, and a condition gives it an imprisonment. Love can only live like the vast sky. Love knows no boundaries.

NOW THE FIRST DAY OF THE FEAST OF UNLEAVENED BREAD THE

DISCIPLES CAME TO JESUS, SAYING UNTO HIM: WHERE WILT THOU

THAT WE PREPARE FOR THEE TO EAT THE PASSOVER? -- he had nowhere to go.

Jesus says to his disciples,'Even foxes have holes to take shelter, birds have their nests, but I have none.' That is the meaning of a sannyasin: a wanderer, homeless, not of this world, knowing well that it is only a journey. At the moment you can find some caravanserais here, but you cannot find the home here. In India we have two words: the world is called GRASTH -- the word

'grasth' means home-obsessed, he who thinks that the world is the home; and SANNYASTH -- one who has come to understand that the very existence here is homelessness. You may live in a home or not; that is not the point. But you understand that you are a stranger here, an overnight stay, and in the morning you go.

He had no home and the feast of the passover had come. The disciples asked,'Where should we go to celebrate this?'

AND HE SAID: GO INTO THE CITY TO SUCH A MAN AND SAY UNTO HIM: THE MASTER SAITH, MY TIME IS AT HAND; I WILL KEEP THE PASSOVER

AT THY HOUSE WITH MY DISCIPLES.

'The Master saith....' Only a Master can say that his time has come, because only a Master can see the future. Only for a Master is the future no more future; it is already here and now. You may take a little time to discover it, but it is already here and now, it has already arrived. The future is present. The more intense your consciousness, the more the future becomes present. If the intensity is total, the future disappears, the past disappears; there is only present.

AND THE DISCIPLES DID AS JESUS HAD APPOINTED THEM; AND THEY

MADE READY THE PASSOVER. AND WHEN THE HOUR WAS COME, HE

SAT DOWN, AND THE TWELVE APOSTLES WITH HIM. AND HE SAID

UNTO THEM: WITH DESIRE I HAVE DESIRED TO EAT THIS PASSOVER

WITH YOU BEFORE I SUFFER:

Tremendously beautiful words, tremendously poetic! That's where Jesus is very unique. Even a Buddha will hesitate to use these words. Buddha will hesitate to use the word 'desire', and Jesus says,'With desire, I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer.' Jesus is a unique synthesis of desire and desirelessness. An ordinary man is simply desire. An extraordinary man who has renounced the world becomes desirelessness. Jesus is both; he is a bridge. He lives in desire but lives in desirelessness also. He moves through the world but the world doesn't move through him. He never renounced the world, he never renounced any enjoyment that this world can give. On the contrary, he has made every delight of this world a celebration of God. Wherever he can find any enjoyment, he can always find a deep thankfulness towards God.

'With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you. Soon I am going to suffer.' And this is his humanness -- the son of man. He is not only the son of God, he is also the son of man. Jesus is more human than Buddha, Mahavir --

they are superhuman, almost inhumanly superhuman. They are more like statues of marble.

Jesus says,'I am going to suffer.' This is his beauty. He knows the deathless, but he also knows that which is going to suffer. He knows that his innermost being is immortal, but he also knows that his body is mortal. On the cross he cries, prays, almost shouts at God,'What are you doing to me? Have you forsaken me? Why this much suffering for me?' And immediately he says,'But let thy will be done, not mine.'

These are the two opposites in him. On one point he is as human as any human being: fragile, weak, helpless. On another point he is as superhuman as any Buddha. That's why Jesus has a tremendous appeal. You can worship Buddha but you cannot become a fellow traveller with him. With Jesus it is different: you can take hold of his hand; you can become a fellow traveller with him. Jesus can be your friend, Buddha can only be your Master. Buddha has said that his next incarnation, sometime in the future, is going to be called'Maitreya' -- the friend.

Jesus came after Buddha, five hundred years after. Maybe Buddha's indication was towards Jesus; MAITREYA, the friend. Jesus has a different quality: you can be friendly with him; you can sleep in the same room with him; you can eat on the same table with him; you can drink from the same pot. He is the friend, not only a guide. He is a friendly guide. He is almost like you, and these sentences, these sutras will show you.

'With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer, because soon I will be gone. This is going to be our last celebration together. And with desire I have desired to celebrate this passover, this feast.' With Mahavir, with Buddha, the word 'feast' will not suit;'fast', but not 'feast'. With Jesus it is 'feast', not 'fast'. It is always celebration, and celebrating SMALL things, celebrating small things. He does not create unnecessary problems. He does not force you to have a stony life, dry. He would like you to be green and flowering and alive, living an ordinary life. It is what Zen people call 'to be extraordinary in ordinariness'.

WITH DESIRE I HAVE DESIRED TO EAT THIS PASSOVER WITH YOU

BEFORE I SUFFER.

Each suffering should be started in celebration. Then you change the quality of suffering itself. Each suffering should be welcomed through celebration; then the suffering is no more suffering.

FOR I SAY UNTO YOU, I WILL NOT ANY MORE EAT THEREOF, UNTIL IT BE

FULFILLED IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD --

'This is going to be my last food, this is going to be my last feast upon this earth.'

AND HE TOOK THE CUP, AND GAVE THANKS, AND SAID: TAKE THIS, AND DIVIDE IT AMONG YOURSELVES: FOR I SAY UNTO YOU, I WILL NOT

DRINK OF THE FRUIT OF THE VINE, UNTIL THE KINGDOM OF GOD

SHALL COME.

You cannot think of Buddha drinking wine -- impossible! But you can think of Jesus doing it. Jesus is superbly human. He accepts all that this life gives, and plus. Jesus' God is a plus; Buddha's God is a minus. Buddha says'God minus the world'; Jesus says'God plus the world.' Buddha's renunciation is negative; Jesus'

renunciation is positive. And if you have to choose, choose Jesus, because THERE is more life. Unless you feel attuned to Buddha, unless you feel that your type fits with fasting rather than feasting; then of course Buddha is for you.

Otherwise don't force, otherwise don't try to cripple your life. Rather than crippling your life, enjoy it in the name of God. Make every enjoyment a deep gratitude, a deep thankfulness.

AND HE TOOK BREAD, AND GAVE THANKS, AND BRAKE IT, AND GAVE

UNTO THEM, SAYING: THIS IS MY BODY WHICH IS GIVEN FOR YOU: THIS

DO IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME.

He says,'This is my body'. The body is earth, the body is bread, the body is food; the body is nothing else. You eat and it is transformed into body. Then you die and the body settles into the earth. It becomes earth, then again it rises into fruit, into trees, into wheat, into a thousand-and-one things, and again it will be eaten.

The body is food. Jesus makes it a beautiful symbolic message, his last message.'Take this bread; this is my body which is given for you, and I give it to you.' Symbolically he is saying,'Soon I am going to give my body for you so that you can realize that which is beyond body. Soon the body will be crucified, but remember that I am beyond it. And whatsoever I have said to you and whatsoever I have lived with you, let it be like a food: deeply digested, transformed into your own blood, in your own bones, in your own marrow.

Don't allow me to remain just in your mind. Let me move deeply down into your body, so that I can become part of you.'

This has to be understood. I say something to you -- it can have two types of possibilities within you. One is that it may remain in the mind: you may become more knowledgeable, you may become a rabbi, a pundit, a scholar. That was not meant to be; you have misunderstood. Let it move deep down into the valley of your body. Let it become your blood, let it circulate, let it become your bones, let it become your breathing, let it become your very marrow so that you can live it.

It becomes your life. Not that it adds to your information; it adds to your BEING.

Let me be part of your being, not part of your knowledge. Eat me, drink me, absorb me, digest me.

And Jesus says,'THIS IS MY BODY, WHICH IS GIVEN FOR YOU: THIS DO IN

REMEMBRANCE OF ME' -- and continue to do it in remembrance of me.

Continue to absorb me deep in your being.

LIKEWISE ALSO THE CUP AFTER SUPPER, SAYING: THIS CUP IS THE NEW

TESTAMENT IN MY BLOOD, WHICH IS SHED FOR YOU. And the same he did with the wine, the red wine. He said,'THIS CUP IS THE NEW TESTAMENT

IN MY BLOOD...'

You have heard about testaments, verbal testaments, but in blood? You have heard about testaments written in ink, but in blood? What does Jesus mean? He means: Unless I become your life, like your blood, futile was my being with you, futile was your being with me, fruitless. It was a wastage. Let me become your life. Let me come deep in you so that I am no more separate, so that I become your very heart and I can beat within you.

Unless a Master becomes your very heart, you are not yet a disciple. You may be a student, but not a disciple. You may be learning through him but you are not gaining being.

That last night, Jesus did not say much, but whatsoever he said had tremendous meaning in it. Much more must have happened in silence. Just his presence, and the very closeness of death and crucifixion -- much must have happened, much must have been communicated through silence.

Let me tell you a story. Saint Louis, King of France, had been told of the high repute in which one mystic was held by many people. The mystic's name was Brother Igidio. The King heard so much about him that he travelled to the mountains where that mystic lived. The King went to visit the saint clad like a poor pilgrim, because when you go to a mystic you don't go like a king. When you go to a mystic you go like a beggar. You go with your heart like a begging bowl. If you go like a king you will miss, because the very ego, the shadow, will fall between you and the mystic.

Like a poor pilgrim he reached, knocked at the door and begged to see him. The door-keeper went to the mystic and told him that a stranger had come to see him.

Drunk with joy, he hastened to the door from his cell and there the two fell into each other's arms, greeting each other with a holy kiss. They fell down before each other as if they were old friends, and gave each other signs of devoted love, but neither of them said a word. They stayed like this, in total silence, until they bade each other farewell.

But when the other brothers came to know that the stranger was no one but the King of France himself, they were indignant and said to Igidio,'How could you be so stupid as to say nothing to so great a King who has come to see you and to hear you speak?'

'My dear brothers,' he replied,'do not be astonished that neither he nor I had anything to say to one another, for as soon as we embraced, his heart was open to me and mine to him, and we saw everything in the mirror of eternity. Silence said everything that can be said, and also that which cannot be said.'

On that last meeting with the disciples this is all that was said, but there was much which was said without saying; the VERY presence was communicated. In fact, the last day with the disciples was the greatest day. That day, seeing that death was coming, they could not postpone, they could not say,'Tomorrow.'

There was no tomorrow now; the Master would be gone. Now there is no future to postpone until. They had to be there with Jesus that night, all together. They didn't ask anything, because when death is coming nearer, how can you ask?

That will be profane, sacrilegious. They were silent. In silence they must have eaten and drunk. The bread became Jesus, the wine became his blood.

That night Jesus transferred himself to them. The same that happened to Mahakashyap and Buddha with the flower, happened with Jesus and the disciples with the bread and wine. And remember, a flower is something not of this world. Buddha gave the flower; a flower is almost other-worldly. Jesus gave bread and wine; he is very earthly, earth-based. Bread and wine is something to eat. A flower you cannot eat, you can appreciate. A flower you cannot drink. It remains far away; there is a distance.

But bread will become your body; and wine? -- the drunkenness that is the basic teaching of Jesus: Be drunk with God. Bread and wine, such small, ordinary, everyday things; he made them sacred on that night. He transformed the very earth into paradise.'In remembrance,' says Jesus,'do it.' And since that day, wherever a real Christian has existed -- Christians are many, almost half of the earth, but I am not talking about those, but wherever a REAL Christian has existed -- every day, whenever he has eaten or drunk, it is Jesus that he is eating, it is Jesus that he is drinking. Every small, ordinary thing has become a sacrament.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #2

Chapter title: Between Adam and Jesus

22 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

The first question:

Question 1

IN JESUS' PRAYER 'OUR FATHER', DOES GOD LEAD US INTO

TEMPTATION?

IT is a very subtle question, and you will have to be utterly attentive to understand it.

God is good. He cannot lead you into temptation, but His very goodness leads you into temptation. The goodness of God is something which is already there. It exists; you have to do nothing to create it. You simply open to it and it showers on you. When you become good you have not done anything; you become good through God. But when you become bad, you have done something; you become bad through yourself. So when you are good, the ego cannot exist. It is a PRASAD, a gift from God.

When you say 'yes', the ego cannot exist; you disappear. In the very moment you say 'yes', you are not there; that is the temptation. Only by doing bad can you be.

Whenever you do evil, you are there; whenever you do good, you are not there --

good flows through you, evil you do. Through evil you are, through good you disappear -- that's the temptation. Adam means 'no'; Jesus means 'yes'. Between Adam and Jesus is the whole history of human consciousness.

What was the temptation of Adam? Why did he disobey? God was good, but Adam was not there. Through his disobedience he created himself -- that is the temptation. In the Garden of Eden, God was there, everywhere. Adam was not there; he was a non-entity, a part of the whole. Through asserting, through saying 'no', through disobedience, through rejecting God, through doing evil, he became himself.

Adam was the first man, not because he was the first man -- there may have been many others before him, but nobody said 'no'. So history cannot record them; they had no egos. And this is my feeling: how could Adam have been the first man? There may have been millions before him, but nobody said 'no'. They could not become men, they could not become egos. Adam said 'no'. Of course he suffered for saying that; he was thrown out of the garden of bliss.

Evil leads you into suffering, but it has a temptation: it creates the'I', you can feel that you are. Jesus, Buddha; they are not. Hitler, Genghis Khan; they are. The more evil you do, the more your ego becomes strengthened. The more against you go, against the wind, against the current, the more you feel that you are.

When you flow with the river, where are you? The river is, and the river goes on flowing through you also. God is good-that's the temptation.

Just the other night I was reading a sentence from Baudelaire. It is simply, unbelievably true. Baudelaire says,'The truth is; the truth is beautiful; the truth is good; the truth is God. I believe in it. That's why I am going to oppose it.' From where does this opposition come? Baudelaire says,'If I don't oppose it, then I will not be. I have to say no; only then can I be.' Otherwise, truth is overpowering: it envelops you, it surrounds you. You simply disappear in it, you melt into it.

You can say that you have done evil, but you cannot say that you have done good. Good is always done by God. Good is already there, you are not needed to create it. Evil has to be created. Good can only be discovered; evil has to be created. The reality is there, the dream has to be created. You can claim your authorship about dreams; you cannot claim your authorship about reality --

that's the temptation.'No' is very tempting. The very goodness of God tempts you against Him. You have to oppose Him, you have to go against, you have to betray, otherwise you will be lost. Adam says'No', Jesus says'Yes', and I say, this is the whole history of man. Adam is the first son of man, and Jesus is the first son of God. By saying yes, by surrendering, he disappears. Only then, God remains.

In the prayer'Our Father', does God lead us in temptation?

God cannot lead you, but you are led by your own mind. A temptation arises because God seems to be destroying you. I come across people every day who would like to say yes to me, who would like to surrender, but they cannot -- it is too risky, it is dangerous. I can feel that something in them tempts them not to surrender. Something in them says,'Go away, don't be here. It is dangerous to be here.' It is not that I am tempting them, but they are tempted. Wherever you see something which is already there, nothing is to be done. You have only to recognize it. But then where will you be? -- that is the temptation. The ego is the temptation.

The second question:

Question 2

YESTERDAY I HEARD THAT MY FRIEND HAD DIED. YET AS I WEPT, I FOUND MYSELF GIVING THANKS FOR THE SWEETNESS OF LIFE. IS

THERE A PLACE FOR MOURNING?

If you have loved somebody, really loved, and you didn't miss an opportunity to love, then there is no place for mourning because then there is no repentance.

You never postpone anything, death cannot destroy anything. If you postpone, then death destroys. For example: you love somebody but you say,'I will love tomorrow,' and that's what you go on saying. You go on imagining tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, You go on postponing: you fight today, you will love tomorrow. You are angry here-now, you will love tomorrow. You go on postponing.

Then one day suddenly death comes, and it is always sudden. It gives no hint that it is coming. The foot sounds are never heard, the footsteps can never he guessed. It always comes suddenly, catches you unawares, and the friend is gone, the lover is gone, the beloved is gone; the mother, the father, the brother is gone. Then there is mourning because death destroys tomorrow, and you were depending on tomorrow. Now there will be no tomorrow. Now you cannot postpone, and the person is gone. Now you feel a deep repentance; out of that repentance mourning arises. You are not weeping for the friend who is gone, you are weeping for yourself, for the wasted opportunity.

If you really love, and love here-now, death cannot take anything from you. I say to you: death may even become an opportunity, an opening, a new door.

You loved the friend when he was visible, and you loved him so deeply that you started feeling, through your love, the invisibleness of him. Then death takes the body. Now in that gross element, body is no more there to hinder. Now love can flow totally. You may even feel thankful to death. You were already discovering the spiritual dimension of your beloved, lover, friend, and now death has taken the last obstacle. Now you can see through and through. Death has given you an opportunity to see whether you really loved or not, because if love's eyes cannot penetrate that much so that you can see that which is not body, that which is beyond matter, that which is invisible, then it is not love. Then those eyes may be of something else, but not of love. Love always reveals the God in the other; that's the definition of love. If it reveals the God in the other only then it is love, otherwise it is not. You will be crying and weeping and mourning, and will you be thinking that you are weeping for the friend who has gone? No, you are weeping for yourself, you are crying for yourself.

I would like to tell a very famous story. King Pyrrhus of Epirus was asked by his friend Cyneas,'Sir, if you conquer Rome, what will you do next?'

Pyrrhus replied,'Sicily is nearby and will be easy to take.'

'And what will you do after Sicily?' Cyneas asked.

'Then we will pass over to Africa and plunder Carthage.'

'And after Carthage, sir?'

'Greece.'

Cyneas enquired,'And what do you expect as a reward from all these victories?'

'Then,' said Pyrrhus,'we can sit down and enjoy ourselves.'

'Can we not,' suggested Cyneas,'enjoy ourselves now?'

If you can enjoy yourself now, then there will be no mourning, ever. I am not saying that you will not become sad when a friend departs, but there will be no mourning.,And that sadness will have a beauty of its own, a depth, a silence that always comes when you encounter death. That sadness will be very meditative.

It will reveal something within you that life could not reveal. Life remains superficial; just like laughter, it remains superficial. Death is very deep, like sadness. But sadness is not mourning, sadness has its own delight; sadness is not sorrow, sadness is simply depth. Sadness means that thinking has stopped. How can you think in front of death? Thinking may be useful in life. Life may need your thinking because cunningness, cleverness is needed; but what is the point of thinking in front of death? If you are sad that simply means that suddenly, the thinking has stopped; the death has been a shock -- you are stripped to your very depth. You cannot laugh, but there is a subtle delight in it, a silence, a sacred silence. The vulgarity of life is gone, and death has opened a new door; the door of the beyond. You will feel thankful towards death, but this is possible only if you live now. If this moment is lived in its total intensity, in its utter wholeness, only then is it possible.

Don't go on postponing. Tomorrow, tomorrow -- drop that word from your vocabulary! Tomorrow does not exist, it CANNOT exist; it is not in the nature of things. Only this day exists.

That is why Jesus says in his prayer,'God, give us our daily bread.' The meaning is: today is enough, we don't ask for tomorrow; give us our daily bread. It has nothing to do with bread, it has something to do with the present and how to live it: give us the capacity to live here and now. Then there is no mourning. Sadness will be there, but that is as it should be. When somebody departs you feel sad, but in that sadness soon you will discover a door: you have fallen to your own depth.

This is what has happened.'Yesterday I heard that my friend had died, yet as I wept I found myself giving thanks for the sweetness of life. Is there a place for mourning?'

Don't feel guilty. In fact, this is how it should be. If you have loved the friend you will feel deep thankfulness; not any complaint against death but just a gratefulness for life, for its sweetness. The very possibility is almost impossible: that one exists!

Have you ever thought about it, that you exist? It seems so impossible; there is no reason why. But you don't look at it because it has been given to you as a gift.

You have not paid for it. That's why you are unaware, oblivious of it: a tremendous richness, that you are, that this moment you are conscious and alive and you can see the flowers, and you can smell the fragrance, and you can listen to the songs, and you can even encounter a Jesus and a Buddha. The sheer impossibility of it! -- just think of it. There is no reason why you are; it is just out of the blue. That is the meaning of the grace of God. If you were not here, there would be no way to be. If you were not here, you could not complain anywhere; there is no court of appeal. If you are not here, you are simply not here; you cannot do anything about it.

You ARE, and you are conscious, and you are full of love, and you are wasting it

-- a great gift will b wasted. You are not using it, you are not using the opportunity to grow. The more you grow, the greater the gifts that can become available to you. This is just the beginning, this is just the alpha; and you don't know what the omega is. Christ is the omega point. But if you go on living now, deeply committed to life, not postponing, going deeper and deeper and deeper every moment, living as wholly as possible, you will reach to the omega point.

Even at the alpha point life is tremendously beautiful; what to say about the omega point? And you will never find any point for mourning.

If you live it, life is always a deep gratitude. If you don't live it, things go sour, things become bitter: one mourns, one complains, one loses the capacity for thankfulness. Prayer disappears and then you live an angry life or a sorrowful life -- that simply means that you have missed. Nobody else is responsible, only you; ONLY YOU, nobody else is responsible. The responsibility is totally yours because you are free to choose -- to die, or to commit a slow suicide.

As I see it, millions of people go on simply committing slow suicide. They go on poisoning themselves. Through postponing, you poison yourself. Then, even that which is given to you will have to be taken away. And Jesus is perfectly true when he says this, and it is one of the most fundamental laws of life: that if you have, more will be given to you; if you don't have, even that which you have will be taken away. That is mourning.

Use! Be creative! Let life be a great adventure. The only sin there is, is if your life is not an adventure. Then, you are a sinner.

The third question:

Question 3

THE IMPLICATIONS OF SANNYAS ARE JUST NOW BECOMING CLEAR TO

ME. YOUR POWER OVER US BECOMES AWESOME. YOU CAN PUSH US

FAR BEYOND THE LIMITATIONS OF OUR PERSONALITIES, YET OUR

PERSONALITIES PERSIST, AND I FIND MYSELF FRIGHTENED BY THINGS I AM DOING WHICH SEEM INCONGRUOUS WITH MY CHARACTER. WHAT

CAN I DO ABOUT THIS FEAR?

Yes, the implications of sannyas become clear only when you are a sannyasin, never before. There are many people who would like to take sannyas, who would like to be initiated on the path, but they want to know what it means before they take the jump. That is impossible; nothing can be said to them. They want to be convinced before they take the decision. No, you cannot be convinced because it is not a question of intellect, it is something to be experienced. One knows about it only by being it, and there is no other way.

So those who think that first they need an intellectual conviction will miss the opportunity available. They will miss the door. Sannyas is only for those who are courageous enough to move in the dark, to move in the unknown. Yes, the night is very dark, and the point at which you are standing is such that from there you cannot see any ray of light. In fact, you are standing with closed eyes and you say,'First, convince us intellectually that there is light. Only then will we open the eyes.' How is it possible? -- because light can be known only when you open the eyes. How can you prove that light exists to a man who is standing with closed eyes, and who insists, and insists logically,'Why should I open my eyes if there is no light? Why should I make the effort? First prove to me that there is light, then I will open my eyes.' But how can you prove that there is light? The only proof is to see it. The only proof of the pudding is in eating it.

'The implications of sannyas are just now becoming clear to me.'

Once you are a sannyasin, by and by, implications become more and more clear.

There are infinite implications. The more you grow, the more they will become clear. It is not going to be an intellectual convict it is going to be an existential conversion -- hence the fear.

'Your power over us becomes awesome.'

That's one of the basic fears, because whenever you love somebody, the power of the other becomes awesome And THIS is no ordinary love; it is not love of the body, it is ultimate love. Once you fall in love with me you ar. already disappearing. Fear grips you -- 'What is going to happen?' -- are you going to dissolve completely? The temptation will arise to escape, the temptation will arise to say 'no' to me, the temptation will arise to defend yourself against me.

But this is the paradox: if you defend yourself against me you are destroying yours because then you will remain the old, the repetitive, the rotten. If you don't defend yourself against me, if you open the doors, in the beginning it may look destructive, but soon you will realize that the destruction was just a preparation to create something. Each creation needs to be begun by destruction, an equal amount of destruction is needed. If I am going to create you, totally new, then I will have to destroy you TOTALLY.

Right now, you are just a mechanical thing. You go on repeating yourself, like a gramophone record which is stuck somewhere and goes on repeating the same line again and again and again. Just watch your life: have you not become a gramophone record, stuck? -- and the needle goes on moving in the same groove

-- and goes on repeating the same thing every day: the same anger the same sex, the same jealousy, the same hatred, the same possessiveness, the same greed.

Have you ever done anything new?

I was reading a limerick yesterday. I liked it.

There was a young man

who said,'Damn,

I have just realized that I am,

a being that moves

in predictable grooves.

Not even a bus, I'm a tram!'

Just watch yourself and you will find yourself not even a bus, but a tram: fixed grooves, well-trodden paths, repetitively. And you become more and more efficient in them. You completely forget how to live. It is as if you are being lived by a mechanical life; you are not living it because you are not conscious about it.

It once happened to a man who was travelling by rail: he noticed that another man who was his sole companion in the compartment was behaving in an unusual way. For some time he seemed to be chuckling to himself very happily, and then a serious look would come over his face and he would make a gesture of impatience before resuming his chuckles again. After a while, the first man could not stand it any longer and said,'Excuse my asking, sir, but what is it that amuses you so much?'

'Funny stories, of course,' he promptly replied,'I am telling myself funny stories.'

'How very interesting,' murmured the first man soothingly, and then added,'but every now and then you look very serious. Why is that?'

'That is when it is a story I have heard before.'

This is how things go on. If you yourself are telling the story, how can you tell the new story? All stories are heard before; you can just repeat. Your life cannot be a life of newness, of freshness, of morning. Your life is bound to be stale, stuffed with just repetitions; at the most an efficient mechanism, but no consciousness.

So whenever you are ready to take the journey for the unknown, the pilgrimage towards the divine, fear will arise -- fear of losing that which you have never had, fear of losing life. Life you have never had -- just a mechanical thing: the fear of losing a repetitive efficiency, the fear of losing your old pattern. It may be comfortable and convenient, but it is not alive. There is nothing like death, because death is the most comfortable state of being, convenient. In a grave you will be perfectly comfortable and convenient, and there is no trouble. Life always creates new troubles. Those troubles are not really troubles. If you look rightly, they are challenges to grow.

I am a challenge. Only cowards can escape from he Those who are brave have to make up their minds to move into the unknown, to go in search of that which they don't know. But you feel a deep urge. You feel that some freedom is possible. It is just a vague feeling no but if you move into the unknown, soon it becomes the reality.

'Your power over us becomes awesome. You can push us far beyond the limitations of our personalities.'

That's my whole effort: to push you in fact, OUT of your personalities, so that your personality drops. Th personality is nothing but a mask, a PERSONA. It is false It is just a created thing; it is not your reality, it is not your essence. It is just a cultivated thing around you, just a decoration; it is not you. It is hiding you, and because of it you are unable to know yourself, who you are. It has become the only hindrance: layers upon layer of persona, of personality. And you have completely forgotten who you are, the original face. You cannot even remember that you ever had an original face.

My whole effort is to push you out of your personalities. If even for a single moment the personalities drop and you are out of them, as if you were standing nude without your clothes, that one moment will have tremendous implications for your life. You will never be the same again because now you have known your original face, now you know who you are. And once you know who you are, you are total freedom.

Personality is a bondage. It is as if you have become fixed only to being something, and you could have been all things. Personality is a fixed, routine way of being. You could have been all things and you have become just a grocer.

You could have been a painter also, a poet also, a mystic also, and you have just become a grocer! Everybody is born with infinite possibilities, and almost everybody dies by becoming a grocer. Just think! That's why you look so miserable -- because you have been infinite and you have become bounded, finite.

'Yet our personalities persist, and I find myself frightened by things I am doing which seem incongruous with my character.'

I am against character, because character is a fixity. Character has a solidness about it; it is stony. Character means repetitiveness: you go on repeating yourself

-- that is your 'character'. When somebody says that you are a good man, what is he saying? He is saying that you are predictable -- in the past you have been good, in the future you are going to repeat the same. When somebody says that you are a bad man, what is he saying? He is saying that you are predictable --

that in the future also you are going to repeat the same song, you are going to tell the same story.

A real man is always unpredictable. He is freedom. He has no character because each moment he finds a new challenge, each moment he moves in a new dimension, and each moment he looks with fresh eyes. Each moment he responds again and again from a new vision. He is never old; he is always young.

In India we have not depicted Buddha, Mahavir, or Krishna as old men. It is not that they never became old; they became old, but we have not depicted that. Not even a single image of Buddha exists which shows him old. Not that he never became old; he became old, but we know that he never became 'old'. Deep down, he remained always fresh, unpredictable, young, infinitely young. Even on the last day, in the last moments of his life he was young and fresh. Whatsoever he said, the last words that he uttered, they too were as fresh as ever; no old age, no repetition.

Remember, character means a fixity, as if you were already dead. In a drama people have characters, but in life they should not have because a drama is predestined-everything is already fixed: who is who and what is going to happen. Nothing new is allowed: that is the meaning. In a drama there are characters -- a Jesus has to be a Jesus. He cannot turn in the middle and say,'I am not!' He has simply to follow, tram-like. He has tc repeat a particular routine.The man who wrote the play has fixed every role; now there is no change possible. In life, there are no characters.

All over the world there is arising a new sort of drama which will not have characters. It will be more true to life. It is a new sort of drama -- you can almost call it 'no-drama' -- nobody knows what is going to happen. People simply start from anywhere, out of the blue, and there is no distinction between the audience and the stage. There should not be because in life there is no audience and no stage, there is no separation between the actors and the onlookers. The new drama must be played in such a way that if somebody from the audience feels to take part, immediately he jumps into it. And by hi very jump, the drama changes. He will bring something; nobody knows what, and nobody knows where it is going to end.

It is just like life -- it begins, it ends, but in fact there is no beginning and no end.

It is always the middle. You came into the world, the world didn't begin with you. You were born on a certain date; the drama was going on, things were already -- on the way. You simply came onto the stage, started doing things of your own, and started changing the whole character of the world drama. And then, just in the middle, one day you die, and by your death you again change: your wife may get married to somebody else now, your children will not be the same as you wished them to be -- the whole story is going to be different.

Life is like an ocean -- wild. Waves upon waves come and go and nobody knows.

And that's the beauty of it. A real man is wild; he has no character. I am not saying that he is not good. When I say that he is characterless, I am not saying that he is evil. You say that a person is characterless when he is immoral; that is wrong. He also has a character, an immoral character. Don't call him characterless.'Characterless' is a tremendously beautiful word -- only for a Buddha, or a Jesus, or a Krishna can you use that. Don't use it for ordinary people. Just ordinary people you call characterless. They have their character, they have their fixity, they have their routine of life. They may be bad, their characters may be bad, but they are not characterless. Only a Buddha is characterless. Characterlessness is the profoundest beauty possible because it means: a totally new response each moment. Each moment a Buddha faces life, a Jesus faces life. He does not carry ready-made answers. What he is going to say, nobody knows; what he is going to do, nobody knows; how he is going to act, nobody knows, not even he himself. If he himself knows, then he is just telling himself funny stories. Then it is all foolish.

I don't know what sentence is going to follow this one, I don't know what act is going to follow: this is freedom. Then I am not confined.

I can understand your difficulty. Whatsoever I am doing is trying to destroy your character. That was the condemnation of Socrates. The court in Athens had decided that he destroys the character of young people. It was absolutely true!

That was the evidence against Christ also: that he destroys the character of young people. It has always been so. A Socrates, a Jesus, they are destroyers of character. Not that they are creators of immorality -- they bring the greatest morality there is: the morality of freedom, the morality of spontaneity. The only moral act is that act which is spontaneous, which comes out of your totality and is not just from your head. I will be destroying your character.

People say the same thing against me, that I am a dangerous man. I am! They are perfectly true. My whole effort is in how to destroy your character so that at least you can become a bus, so that you don't move on rails. You can have a little freedom.

Fear is natural. I am not saying that you can drop that fear, but there is one thing that I would like to say: in spite of the fear you can come with me. And that is the only way. If you wait, that once you have dropped the fear then you will come and follow me, then you never will. Follow, in spite of the fear. Let the fear be there, it is natural; but don't follow it, follow me. The fear is there, human, natural -- but come, follow me. By and by, the more you become attuned to the inner freedom the inner sky, the fear will disappear because through this characterlessness you are growing, you are becoming more mature, you are ripening. Now the morality will not be forced from outside, it will flow from your inside. It will be your inwardness, it will be your own understanding and consciousness. It will not be a conscience any more.

The conscience is given by the society; consciousness you have to achieve. The society goes on telling you,'This is right, and that is wrong' -- that is conscience. It becomes ingrained, implanted in you. You go on repeating it. That is worthless; that is not the real thing The real thing is your own consciousness. It carries no ready-made answers: what is wrong and what is right, no. But immediately, in whatever situation arises, it gives you light -- you know immediately what to do.

And that doing is total. That act is total because it is not being done because the society says so, it is done because you know it that way. In that moment the decision takes shape; it comes out of your innermost core. This is freedom, and this freedom is the goal. Don't stop before you have attained it.

Fear will be there. There are many hazards on the path: many times you may go astray, many times you will feel tired, exhausted, many times you will find excuses to sit by the side of the road. But remember again and again, that unless you have attained to that consciousness which can act spontaneously, you have not fulfilled your being. You are betraying God, you are betraying the Whole.

And how can you be happy, how can you be blissful if you betray the original source? Then you will remain miserable. Your misery is just an indication that you are not doing the right thing, and the right thing is not what is said by the society to be right. The right thing is that which you come to understand through your understanding. Be a light unto yourself -- that is the right thing.

The fourth question:

Question 4

I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WON'T BE ON EARTH WITH US FOR SUCH A LONG TIME ANYMORE. YESTERDAY AT DARSHAN YOU EXPLAINED TO

SOMEBODY THAT THE BODY CANNOT CONTAIN YOU, YOU WILL

EVAPORATE, AND AFTER THAT YOU CAN'T BE OF ANY HELP ANYMORE.

THIS CONFUSES ME ALL THE TIME. I USED TO CONSOLE MYSELF WITH

THE WORDS OF JESUS,'I WILL STAY WITH THEE UNTO THE END OF THE

WORLD.' PLEASE MAKE THIS MORE CLEAR TO ME.

Jesus is right, but I am righter than Jesus. Jesus is right, but because of his saying people could not use the opportunity when it was there. They consoled themselves. He is true; even now he is with you, even this moment he can help you. But when you miss Jesus when he is present, how can you use him when he is absent? Just look at the absurdity of it. You say,'Yes, we will take your help when you are absent,' and you cannot take the help while he is present. Only those who can take his help while he is present will be able to take his help while he is not present. And you always like consolation. I don't want to give you any consolation because all consolations become postponements.

Yes, I repeat Jesus' saying: I will also be with you till the very end of the world --

but I don't want it to become a consolation for you. I can be with you only if you are with me now. If you are with me now, I can be with you to the very end of time, but you have to fulfill a certain growth in yourself. Otherwise you will say,'Okay, if you are going to be with us to the very end of time, then there is no need to hurry; we can fool around a little. And whenever we need, you will be available.' No, this is not going to be so. That's why I say that Jesus is right, but I am righter than him.

Try to understand: I am not here to console you. If there is anything that I am here for, it is to transform you.

Consolation is worthless; it is a trick of the mind. Don't settle for it. It is just like a mother who doesn't want to give her breast to the child, and she gives the child anything, just his own thumb in his mouth, to console him. That gives him a certain consolation, but no nourishment. He is simply deceived. Or you can get pacifiers from the market and give the child a pacifier. Just a rubber breast -- he goes on sucking it thinking and believing that something is going to come out of it. Nothing comes out of it.

Consolation is a pacifier, it is not real nourishment. I am here; be nourished by me. Eat me, drink me; be nourished by me. Let me become a part of your being, then I will be available forever and forever. There is no other way.

The fifth question:

Question 5

MY LITTLE SON WAS NEVER BAPTIZED. WILL THIS BE OF IMPORTANCE 7

It is very important! It is good that he was never baptized because baptism is such a significant thing -- it cannot be forced upon anybody. When you force it on a child you are creating an artificial religion for him, and if that artificial religion remains there he may forget all about the real religion. He may become a Christian and he will miss Christ.

Good, your child is fortunate. Blessed is he who is not baptized by his parents --

then he is available, clean and clear. Whenever he becomes ripe enough, when he becomes aware, then he can seek his religion.

A religion is to be sought. A religion has to be chosen consciously. Nobody should be made a Christian or a Hindu or a Mohammedan or a Jain by birth.

Birth has nothing to do with religion. Because of this association with birth, the whole world seems to be religious, and nobody is religious. Everybody is religious: somebody is a Hindu, somebody is a Christian. Nobody is a Hindu and nobody is a Christian -- people have been befooled.

Leave children alone. Never impose any religion on them. Don't condition their minds. Leave their enquiry free. Help so that they can enquire, but don't give them answers. Help so that their questions become very penetrating, help so that they can ask intensely, help so that someday they can ask so intensely that their very intensity becomes a transformation, but never give them answers. Ready-made answers are very deceptive. Religion has to be lived, religion has to be chosen. It is a commitment -- how can you commit for your child? Who are you to commit for your child? Help the child to grow, love him deeply, and don't give him answers which you don't know yourself. If he asks,'Is there a God?' tell him the truth, that you don't know! Tell him the truth, that you are seeking; tell him the truth, that he has to seek himself; and tell him that if someday he finds, he has to tell it to you also. Be humble. Before the child, the temptation is great in the parents to be knowledgeable -- that is foolishness. You don't know anything about God and you go on teaching the child, you go on conditioning his mind.

Don`t condition anybody's mind. Leave him -- intact, untouched, virgin. One day....

Because religion is such a deep urge, it need not be taught. Through the teachings the urge is corrupted. It need not be taught. Leave him to himself, love him. Through your love he will create the opportunity to understand prayer someday. Love him, and through your love he will become aware that existence must be a mother to him, a father to him. But don't talk about the Father who is in heaven, just be a father to him. Your being a father will have given him the first glimpse that the existence is not alien, that somebody takes care, that somebody loves. Love him, mother him so that he comes to feel that existence is a mother. Through your care through your love, through your mothering let him become aware of certain qualities in existence. Don't talk theology -- it is rubbish.

Don't go on telling him,'Pray.' Wait, let the right moment come, but help the situation so that he becomes capable of prayer. Don't teach him the words of the prayer. Just create a situation in the family: the atmosphere of prayerfulness. The father prays, the mother prays, and when the child sees father praying he can feel the delight that comes on his face. He can see that he is transported to some other world. He can see that after prayer, for hours he is a totally different person

-- more loving, more soft and delicate. He can see that after prayer there is an after-glow that follows the father the whole day.

There is no need to teach anything. One day you will suddenly find when you open your eyes after your prayer, that your child is sitting by your side -- deep, somewhere else, his eyes closed. He does not know the words, but now he understands the feeling, and that is REAL baptism.

Don't force him to go to church because church will corrupt him, and he will start thinking that religion is nothing but a business. He will understand by and by, that religion is nothing but politics.

All mystics, without exception, know that all religions are true; all philosophers, without exception, know that all religions are false; and all politicians, without exception, know that all religions are useful.

Don't teach the child the politics of religion. Leave him intact, alone, but give him an opportunity, a milieu, an atmosphere, a climate where he can feel in touch with what religion is. Then he will be religious. He may not be a Christian, but that is pointless, that is meaningless. He may not be a Hindu, but he will be religious. But parents are more interested that the child should be a Christian --

he should follow the same foolishness that they have been following. The child should be a Hindu -- he should be corrupted in the same way they have been corrupted. The child should have an identity of belonging to some organization -

- the same that they belong to. This is the politics of religion; it is not religion at all.

If you really love your child, will you want him to be a Christian, or a Hindu, or a Mohammedan? -- no, never! If you love your child you will never want him to be a Christian. What has Christianity done to the world? -- it is an ugly dis-ease.

You will not like him to be a Mohammedan. What has Mohammedanism done to the world? -- it has been just violence. You will not like him to be a Hindu because what has Hinduism done? -- it is just a fossilized death: stale, dead for centuries, a corpse; it stinks. No, if you love your child you will make him aware not to fall into any trap, not to be trapped because there are enemies all around: the priest, the missionary, the temple, the church. You will make him aware,'Don't be trapped by anybody. Remain free, remain loving, search and seek and find your God. The God that you find is the only God. The God that is taught is not God; it is just a word. And when you have found YOUR religion, it is not separate from life, it is one with it. It is life itself!'

And remember when I say that life is God, I don't mean life with a capital L, no; but just with a lower-case l. Just ordinary life is God.

A journalist just a few days ago asked Jean-Paul Sartre,'What is the most important thing in your life today?' Sartre said,'I don't know. Everything: to live, to love, to smoke.' This is a Zen kind of answer. Sartre is not a religious man but the answer is very religious. He has never belonged to any church, he does not believe in God, but the answer is religious.'I don't know' -- that is the first religious quality of it because only foolish theologians know. A religious man is simply aware of his tremendous ignorance. Life is a mystery; how can you know it? He knows only one thing, that he does not know.'I don't know!' -- ask any priest, he cannot say that. He will immediately open his Bible and say,'Here is the answer. I know.' And he is simply repeating borrowed knowledge. He is a parrot.

Once I went to Varanasi and a great scholar of the Vedas invited me to his home.

He was very happy to show me his parrot, because the parrot could recite many things from the Vedas, from the Gita, from the Upanishads. I laughed. The pundit said,'What's the matter? Why are you laughing?' I said,'I am laughing because I don't see any difference between this parrot and you. The parrot is a scholar and you are a parrot.' He has been angry since then.

No, a theologian can never say,'I don't know.' One needs courage to say that.

One needs real guts to say,'I don't know.' One needs a certain realization to say that one doesn't know. And everything, when you lead a religious life, everything is beautiful, everything is important. There are no pigeon-holes, there are no categories. You cannot say that something is more important and something is less important. If you live a religious quality, all things are important: a dog is as important as God, not a single bit less important.

Somebody asked Joshu -- a Zen Master, a rare being; the person who asked must have been a sceptic -- he said,'Joshu, I have heard that you say that God is in everything. What about a dog?' Nobody has answered this way: Joshu jumped on his four legs and started barking. He said,'I am a dog, and also a god.' Joshu barking is God barking.

Then there is no difference. Nothing is small and nothing is great. The smallest carries the greatest, and the greatest carries the smallest; then the lowest is the highest, and the highest is the lowest; then the valley goes to the peak and the peak comes to the valley. That is the meaning when I say that sex is samadhi and samadhi is sex. Then there is no difference between the low and the high.

Everything! -- to live, just to live today is the most important thing. To love, and to smoke.... Such an ordinary thing, to smoke, but when a religious man smokes he smokes religiously; there is no other way.

Once a man came to me. I was in Calcutta. The man was a follower of Paramahansa Ramakrishna, but he was worried about one thing: Ramakrishna used very vulgar words, like 'son-of-a-bitch', like that. Ramakrishna used very vulgar words. So he was very worried. He said,'Everything is good, but Ramakrishna seems to be a little... vulgar. What do you say, sir?' I said,'His vulgarity is religious. Even when Ramakrishna says 'son-of-a-bitch', it is a blessing. Yes, it is a blessing because whatsoever he says is purified by his saying it. Even a vulgar word becomes sacred; the touch of a Ramakrishna transforms it.' So I told him,'Don't be worried. Wherever Ramakrishna treads, it becomes holy. If he goes to a prostitute's house, that becomes a temple. Because it is not a question of an outer house or an outer world, it is the quality that you bring to it.'To smoke,' Sartre says,'is the most important thing today.' Yes, I also say that smoking can be as beautiful and sacred as chanting -- it is a chanting in smoke. It depends on you.

In Zen monasteries they have a small tea-house, like a temple. Whenever somebody enters the tea-house, he has to be very aware because the goddess of tea resides there. The goddess of tea -- then why not the goddess of smoking?

The nicotine is the same in tea as in tobacco.

I have just instructed Laxmi to make a small temple for smoking here in the ashram. But you have to go very alert, aware, meditative! If you can smoke meditatively, it is perfectly beautiful. If it stops by being meditative, that too is perfectly beautiful. Life is sacred.

So don't teach a child Christianity, HYinduism, Jainism. At the most, give him a milieu, if you love him, so that he can grow a sensitivity towards what religion is in its essence in its purity. Don't teach him about so many flowers, just let him become sensitive to the fragrance of it -- that will do. THAT is baptism.

The last question, and the most important -- it is from Amitab: Question 6

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

So what am I to do? -- blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #3

Chapter title: As I Have Loved You

23 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

John 13

2 AND SUPPER BEING ENDED,

5... HE POURETH WATER INTO A BASIN, AND BEGAN TO WASH THE

DISCIPLES' FEET, AND TO WIPE THEM WITH THE TOWEL WHEREWITH

HE WAS GIRDED.

6 THEN COMETH HE TO SIMON PETER, AND PETER SAITH UNTO HIM: LORD, DOST THOU WASH MY FEET?

7 JESUS ANSWERED AND SAID UNTO HIM: WHAT I DO THOU KNOWEST

NOT NOW, BUT THOU SHALT KNOW HEREAFTER.

8 PETER SAITH UNTO HIM: THOU SHALT NEVER WASH MY FEET! JESUS

ANSWERED HIM: IF I WASH THEE NOT, THOU HAST NO PART WITH ME.

12 SO AFTER HE HAD WASHED THEIR FEET, AND HAD TAKEN HIS

GARMENTS, AND WAS SET DOWN AGAIN, HE SAID UNTO THEM: KNOW

YE WHAT I HAVE DONE TO YOU?

13 YE CALL ME MASTER AND LORD, AND YE SAY WELL; FOR SO I AM.

14 IF I THEN, YOUR LORD AND MASTER, HAVE WASHED YOUR FEET, YE

ALSO OUGHT TO WASH ONE ANOTHER'S FEET.

15 FOR I HAVE GIVEN YOU AN EXAMPLE, THAT YE SHOULD DO AS I HAVE DONE TO YOU.

21 WHEN JESUS HAD THUS SAID, HE WAS TROUBLED IN SPIRIT, AND

TESTIFIED, AND SAID: VERILY VERILY, I SAY UNTO YOU, THAT ONE OF

YOU SHALL BETRAY ME.

27... THEN SAID JESUS UNTO HIM: THAT THOU DOEST, DO QUICKLY.

28 NOW NO MAN AT THE TABLE KNEW FOR WHAT INTENT HE SPAKE

THIS UNTO HIM.

31 THEREFORE, WHEN JUDAS WAS GONE OUT, JESUS SAID: NOW IS THE

SON OF MAN GLORIFIED, AND GOD IS GLORIFIED IN HIM.

34 A NEW COMMANDMENT I GIVE UNTO YOU, THAT YE LOVE ONE

ANOTHER; AS I HAVE LOVED YOU, THAT YE ALSO LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

35 BY THIS SHALL ALL MEN KNOW THAT YE ARE MY DISCIPLES, IF YE

HAVE LOVE ONE TO ANOTHER.

THE essence of religion is paradoxical -- opposites meet there and lose their oppositeness. Contraries become complementary there and lose their contrariness. Day and night are not separate there, neither are life and death, nor the lower and the higher. The earth is the sky there, and the sky is the earth. To the logical mind, to mind as such -- because all minds are logical -- it is very difficult to conceive.

I will read a few words from A.N. Whitehead, a very perceptive man:'Religion is the vision of something which extends beyond, behind, and within the passing flux of immediate things: something which is real and yet waiting to be realized; something which is a remote possibility and yet the greatest of present facts; something which gives meaning to all that passes and yet eludes apprehension; something whose possession is the final good and yet is beyond reach; something which is the ultimate ideal and the hopeless quest.'

Whitehead understands rightly the paradoxicalness of religion, but he is trying to see it through the mind, hence his final conclusion is that it is a 'hopeless quest

-- hopeless because how can the opposites meet? Jean-Paul Sartre says that God is impossible because to make God possible, opposites will have to disappear.

Death and life should become one; only then can God exist. And how can the mind conceive of life and death becoming one, winter and summer becoming one, the beginning and end becoming one? For the mind, the quest becomes hopeless.

The modern mind is basically without religion because the modern mind has lost the capacity, the elasticity, to be illogical. In the ordinary world, to be illogical is to be mad; in religion, to be illogical is the method. Madness itself is the method to know God. Unless you are mad enough so that you can put aside the categories of the mind and you can look directly without bringing any concepts between you and the reality, you can, at the most, know the matter, the dead part, the past, but you cannot know the real, the alive, the God. Essential religion will always look elusive to the mind. In fact, it looks like a sort of craziness.

Just a few days ago I was reading R.C. Zaehner's books. This man has tried to understand Zen, Krishnamurti, but he could not; and in the end he has written a small; poem to ridicule them. That small poem not only ridicules Krishnamurti and Zen, it ridicules Jesus, Krishna -- it ridicules all religion. R.C. Zaehner writes in this poem, and he feels that he is giving you the very essence of this insanity called Zen:

Tee-hee hee,

you and me,

me is you,

you is me.

Life is death,

dead is life,

I am my husband,

you are your wife.

We aren't God-children,

they aren't God-us,

we are all that happy,

so why this fuss?

Fuss, fuss, fuss,

cuss, cuss, cuss.

Total experience?

Yes -- that's us.

He thinks that he is ridiculing, and he is being ridiculous himself; but this is natural to the mind.

Jesus goes on saying,'I and my Father are one.' That means that the son is the Father. The VICE-VERSA has never been said, but should be said. Only then will the truth become clear; that the Father is also the son. If the son is the Father, then the Father is also the son, but then things become elusive.

On this last night with his disciples, he brings this meeting of opposites, this meeting of the distant and the near, to a peak point, to a climax. By touching the feet of his disciples, he is saying that the disciple is the Master, the Master is the disciple. This is a Zen act. Without saying anything, he is saying the very essence of all religions. He is saying,'I and thou are not two.' He is saying,'Thou is me, me is thou' -- he is making the circle complete. The Master touching the feet of the disciples is a rare phenomenon. Through this symbolic act, Jesus is taking his departure from his disciples, showing them the very essence of religion: where the Master touches the feet of the disciple, where the son becomes the Father and the Father becomes the son, where the night becomes the day and the day becomes the night, and opposites merge, disappear.

This is difficult for R.C. Zaehner to understand. In his book he calls Aristotle many times,'Our father, Aristotle.' It must be so; Aristotle must be his father, not God. Aristotle is the logical mind. The very essence of the logical mind is that day and night are separate and can never meet. East and West are separate --

'East is East, West is West, and the twain shall never meet.' But I tell you, they are meeting here, they are meeting everywhere. Wherever life exists, East and West are meeting; wherever life exists, men and women are meeting; wherever life exists, the Master and the disciple are meeting; wherever life exists, the soul and matter are meeting -- in you, everywhere: in a flower, in a tree, in a rock, in a man -- the soul and matter are meeting. And still you go on dividing. Can you demark exactly where your body ends and your spirit begins, where your spirit ends and your body begins? They are ONE: the body is touching the feet of the spirit and the spirit is touching the feet of the body. It is a circle.

Jesus says many things without saying them. He shows rather than says; he is a simple man. Zen people can understand what he did, Christians cannot understand. They go on saying,'Our Father who is in heaven...' but that is wrong.'Our father, Aristotle', they should say. Aristotle is their father: the mind that divides, the mind that makes clear-cut distinctions, the mind that categorizes, puts things into pigeon-holes. A very neat and clean job Aristotle has made of life. He has classified; he is the greatest classifier. But whenever you divide, something which cannot be divided disappears. You can dissect a flower and you can come to know of what it is constituted -- the matter part -- but the spirit part will disappear. You will never come to catch hold of beauty. In dissection, the beauty will disappear. You can dissect a man on an operating-theatre table, you can dissect minutely, you can take tremendous care in dissection and analysis, but only body will be left in your hands. The soul will disappear, because in fact the soul exists in a very deep synthesis where opposites meet.

Life is a dialectical process where opposites go on meeting and go on creating a higher synthesis, a symphony, a harmony. And every moment it is happening --

the day becomes night every evening, and every morning the night again becomes the day. But you are blind and you cannot see it. Everywhere you can see opposites meeting: the earth is reaching to the sky in the trees and touching it, and the sky is every moment boring into the earth, penetrating it. That love affair continues between the earth and the sky; they are always meeting in deep embrace, infinitely one. The separation is only on the surface.

Now the sutras:

AND SUPPER BEING ENDED...

It is the last supper with Jesus, and only Jesus knows it is the last. The disciples are absolutely ignorant. They cannot even feel what is going to happen, they cannot hear the footsteps of the future. Jesus is already going towards his crucifixion, Jesus is already ready, moving. The moment, the momentous moment is arriving -- every moment closer and closer -- but they are, in a way, blissfully unaware. Remember, that's what is happening to everybody. Death is coming closer and closer, and you are blissfully unaware. You go on making arrangements to live as if you were going to live forever. Your mind goes on planning for the future, not knowing that death is coming. Death is hiding in every bush; death can jump from anywhere.

On that night of celebration, the last supper with the Master, who could have thought that this would be the last? Who could have thought that the next day Jesus would be gone? This unique man would be no more. There would no longer be this unique opportunity to touch God on earth. There would no longer be any possibility to look through his door, to have a glimpse of the divine from his window. Eating, drinking, they were happy. That's how life goes on: eating, drinking; and every moment death comes closer and closer, and you go on preparing to live as if you were going to live forever.

The man who becomes aware of death becomes a totally different man. Then he is not always wasting his time in preparing for the future. Rather, he starts living in the present. Alas, the disciples didn't know. Later on they would repent, and they would cry and weep their hearts out. They would think again and again, and they would move again and again into the nostalgia of the past: Jesus was so close and they went on missing him.

AND SUPPER BEING ENDED,... HE POURETH WATER INTO A BASIN, AND

BEGAN TO WASH THE DISCIPLES' FEET, AND TO WIPE THEM WITH THE

TOWEL WHEREWITH HE WAS GIRDED.

I call this 'the Zen act'. What is a Zen act? -- a Zen act is an act in which you say that which cannot be said in any other way. There are things which can be said, there are things which cannot be said, and there are things which can only be acted upon. Through action, total action, they can be said; there is no other way to say them. In Zen, the Master always gives a certain problem for the disciple to find out the answer to. They call it 'koan'. The disciple goes on finding out answers, and comes again and again, every morning, to see the Master and to give his answer. But the Master goes on saying,'No, this is not the answer.'

Sometimes it happens that even before the disciple has said anything the Master says,'No, this is not the answer.' Sometimes this too happens: the disciple is coming, he is just outside the door and the Master shouts from inside,'No, this is not the answer.' Only later on, when the disciple becomes enlightened, does he understand what was the matter -- the Master had given a problem which could not be answered verbally. You can ACT upon it. Only action can answer it, nothing else, because only action can be total.

Have you ever watched a small child in anger? That is total action; it is not only in the head. Every fibre of his body vibrates with anger -- ready to explode, red in the face, as if capable of destroying the whole world -- so tiny but so full of atomic energy. Watch a child in anger and you will see what total action is. Or, watch a lover who is in deep love: the mind stops. Even holding the hand of his beloved he is saying something which cannot be said. The very touch shows something, shows something which is beyond words, and the act is total. In anger, in love, in sadness, in bliss, sometimes it happens that the action is total. In dancing, when the dancer disappears and only the dance remains, then the action is total. And a total action is beautiful because a total action is no longer from you. THE MOMENT you are total, God is flowing through you.

On that day, the last day of Jesus with his disciples, Jesus did a Zen act -- he washed his disciples' feet, he touched his disciples' feet with deep reverence. The disciples touch the feet of the Master, but their reverence can never be total. For the majority it is just a mannerism that has to be done. It is a sort of duty; they do it unconsciously. Something that has to be done, has to be done, but they are not in it. When they bow down, nothing hows down within them, just the body. It is a dead gesture. For a few others it may not be so dead. Maybe a little life flickers in it, but it is not a flame of totality. The disciples must have touched the feet of the Master many times, thousands of times. This time, the Master was going to touch the feet of the disciples to show them what reverence is, in its totality. That moment, there was nobody who was bowing down and washing. There was bowing, there was washing, but there was nobody -- because whenever you are total the ego disappears. The ego exists only when you are partial. If you have experienced it in some way, sometime... and I see that everybody has experienced it sometime, somewhere. Because it doesn't fit with your style of life you have forgotten; because it does not fit with your own pattern you do not pay much attention to it; because it doesn't fit, you by and by forget it, throw it into the unconscious, into the basement of the mind. Otherwise, it has happened to everybody, unknowingly, unawares. Sometimes, just swimming, and suddenly you are filled with an unknown bliss. It happens only if the swimming becomes total. When the swimmer disappears, then the cause of all misery disappears, and then suddenly, God is there.

Whenever you are total, God is there. Whenever you are divided, God is unavailable. So let me say this: your totality is God. God is not a person, it is an experience. It is not waiting somewhere; you have to create it within you. God is not like an object, like a rock that some day you find and bring home, no. God is an inner harmony -- you have to create it to find it. It is not a search for a dead object. It is creativity, it is tremendous creativity; and there is no higher creativity than that. A painter paints a picture, a singer sings a song, a sculptor makes an image; a religious seeker creates God! And there is only one way to create God: to become total so that the act becomes whole.

Jesus showed them; that was his farewell. He could not have given a greater gift to them. He showed them what reverence is, what love is, how one can totally surrender. They thought that they had surrendered, but a disciple's surrender is a disciple's surrender. A disciple is divided, he is a crowd; only a part of him surrenders. That part may not even be the majority, and the many other parts go on resisting. He surrenders in a reluctant way. A part goes on pulling away from the Master, withdrawing, another part goes on saying 'no'. One part says 'yes', one part says 'no'. The disciple is always 'yes plus no'. When Jesus touched their feet, there was only 'yes'. He gave them the greatest gift he could, the gift of reverence.

I have heard that once a question was asked of Rabbi Joshua ben Karha:'Why did the Holy One, blessed be He, choose to speak to Moses at Mount Horeb out of a thorn bush?' It is relevant, why God chose to speak to Moses from a thorn bush.

Could He not find a better place? -- a thorn bush? At least He could have found a rose bush. Why choose a thorn bush in the first place? It has been asked for centuries, but never has anyone given such a beautiful answer as Rabbi Joshua gave. Rabbi Joshua answered so as to teach us that there is no place on this earth free from the presence of God. God is everywhere, even in the lowly, even in a thorn bush. The whole earth is holy.

Why did Jesus touch their feet? He could have touched their heads, so why their feet? Feet are symbols of the lowly. In your body, they are the lowest part. Jesus touched their feet to show that God is there also; even in a thorn bush, in the lowliest, in the LOWEST depth God is there, because God is everywhere. In the darkest valley He is there. He is not only at the peaks, remember; in the valleys also, He is there. He is not only in the saints; in the sinners also, He is. When you pay respects, don't be bothered about whom to pay it to, because He is everywhere. You can touch the feet of a sinner and you have touched His feet, because there are no other feet. All feet, ALL feet are His. Jesus touched the feet of the disciples to show them that nothing is lowly. Everything is high, everything is superbly magnificent and everything is divine. Wherever you tread, you tread on God. Whatsoever you do, you do to God. Whomsoever you pay respect to or become angry with, you are doing it to God.

... HE POURETH WATER INTO A BASIN, AND BEGAN TO WASH THE

DISCIPLES' FEET...

The feet are symbolic of the earth, they touch the earth; the head is symbolic of the sky, it touches the sky. The head and the feet -- the highest and the lowest, the above and the below -- are the same, because only one flows. You are in your feet as much as you are in your head. Don't forget the earth, you are rooted there; remember it. Jesus touched their feet, washed those feet.

THEN COMETH HE TO SIMON PETER, AND PETER SAITH UNTO HIM: LORD, DOST THOU WASH MY FEET?

It doesn't look appropriate.'Dost thou wash MY feet? It is okay if I wash yours; you are our Lord, our Master.' A question arises in the mind of the disciple Simon Peter: one who loves, one who has a little more faith than the others. Even to him a question arises, just a question,'Is it appropriate that the Master should touch my feet?' A few didn't say anything. They may not even have grasped the meaning of it, it was so sudden. They may even have missed. They may not have been present there; they may not have been able to understand what was happening. Only Simon Peter, the man who was going to become the rock of Jesus' church, raised a question:'Dost thou wash my feet?' He had loved Jesus, he had respected him, but his faith was not yet total.'Man of little faith' Jesus had called him. He had faith, but very little. If the faith had been total, then there would have been no longer any distinction between the Master and the disciple.

In Zen there are stories that sometimes the disciple would hit the Master, and the Master would laugh. They are stories of great love, they are stories of great faith and trust. They show that now the distinction is no more there; now nobody knows who is who. The Master is the absence of the ego, and when the disciple's ego also disappears, there cannot be two absences.

For example: in your room there are two chairs; two chairs are present, two presences. You remove two chairs -- now can you say that there are two absences because two chairs have been removed? No, there is only one absence; simply absence. You can remove a thousand chairs but the absence will not be of a thousand chairs; it will simply be absence. A Master is an absence, an emptiness; there is no ego in it. It is on the part of the disciple that they appear as two. From the side of the Master, because he is not there, there cannot be the other. When the'I' disappears,'thou' also disappears.

Peter loved him, respected him, but his love was not yet total. He was still present there; the disciple had not disappeared. The disciple asked,'Why? -- you, and touching my feet?' It didn't look appropriate. Remember, in love there is nothing appropriate or not appropriate. In love, all distinctions disappear.

Just the other day somebody asked,'Can an enlightened man love an unenlightened man?' He asked a very pertinent question. He said that it is said of Ramakrishna's life that he would cry and weep for Vivekananda. Sometimes Vivekananda would not come to see him for a few days, so he would go to see him. He would find out where he was.'Is it possible,' the questioner had asked,'that a man like Ramakrishna, in love, in such love that he cried and wept if Vivekananda did not come, went to where he was to search for him, and became very happy when Vivekananda came?'

The questioner had asked,'Osho, do you weep for somebody?' I have so many Vivekanandas that if I start weeping, then there will be no time left. Hence, the difficulty. I cannot cry and weep, but I cry and weep for you because to me you are just potentialities of tremendous possibilities, seeds. Yes, Ramakrishna was deeply in love. And I tell you, only a Ramakrishna can be in deep love, ONLY a Ramakrishna. The unenlightened person can pretend that he loves, can deceive himself and others that he loves, but he cannot love. Love is the quality of enlightenment. It is the light that comes out of that inner lamp, that inner lamp of enlightenment. When that flame is burning inside, then the light flows outside.

Wherever it falls, it is love.

Jesus loved these disciples. To say that Jesus loved or that Ramakrishna loved is really not a right way of saying it, because Jesus is not, a Ramakrishna is not --

there is only love. When Jesus touched the feet of his disciples, love touched their feet. Not Jesus, remember, but love touched their feet. Ramakrishna went to seek and search where Vivekananda was, but Ramakrishna didn't go anywhere. He was no more -- where could he go? how could he go? who would go? -- love went in search. When Ramakrishna cried and tears fell down, it was love crying.

Even Vivekananda felt embarrassed when Ramakrishna would stand and start dancing when he came, or he would hug him. Even he used to feel embarrassed.

Somehow it looked a little outlandish, eccentric. And this old man seemed to be crazy. If psychoanalysts had been present there, they may have suspected homosexuality, because psychoanalysis tries to explain the flower through the fertilizer. Then, even the flower starts stinking; it smells of the fertilizer. But if you ask me such questions, I explain the fertilizer through the flower. Then, even the fertilizer has a fragrance in it. Jesus touched the feet, not of the fertilizer but of the flower, of the possibility.

Ramakrishna went in search. To ordinary people Vivekananda was just ordinary, but not for Ramakrishna. Something extraordinary was waiting there: it needed help, care; it needed attention, it needed love to explode into being.

Jesus touched those disciples' feet in deep reverence, in great hope. He touched their feet to show them,'You are not that which you think you are. You are that which you are seeking; you are my God.' Those were only seeds, but Jesus could see the flowering. He touched their feet because of the possibility of the flowering -- someday or other they would explode into beautiful flowers, they would blossom. He loved them, respected them for that. For him it was already a present phenomenon. They didn't know, they were unaware, they were fast asleep. The seed is nothing but a flower, fast asleep and snoring. And what is a flower? -- a seed that has discovered itself, a seed that has come to know itself, a seed that has become itself -- that's what a flower is. Even a weed is not a weed; a weed is one who is on the path to discover itself. Even a weed has tremendous possibilities. You may not know that even wheat was once thought to be a weed; even wheat! Humanity discovered, by and by, that it was nourishment. Now you cannot think of wheat as a weed. And if you find some weeds in the garden, always be respectful -- who knows? They are on the way; some day their capacities and possibilities will be discovered.

They were ordinary weeds, those disciples, very ordinary human beings, but not to Jesus. Jesus could look into their future. Their future was present to Jesus, and he touched the feet of that future. Even a man like Peter could not believe, could not see the appropriateness of it. But in love, there is nothing appropriate and not appropriate. In love, everything takes a totally different flavour. Then, everything is holy.

THEN COMETH HE TO SIMON PETER: AND PETER SAITH UNTO HIM: LORD, DOST THOU WASH MY FEET? JESUS ANSWERED AND SAID UNTO

HIM: WHAT I DO THOU KNOWEST NOT NOW, BUT THOU SHALT KNOW

HEREAFTER.

Maybe it would take many lives to know what Jesus did that day, but only hereafter would he be able to know, because to know it now, you would have to be present in your totality, here and now. But then, there would have been a totally different thing. Then Peter would not have felt a little uneasy about it. He may have laughed, he may even have blessed Jesus. That's what Mahakashyap would have done if Buddha had touched his feet -- he would have laughed, smiled and blessed him. That small joke of Mahakashyap touching Buddha's head and blessing him would have reverberated all through history. In fact, that is what he did when he laughed. That smile was a blessing showered from the side of the disciple; but that is possible only when the disciple is not. Everything is possible only when you are not, but Peter was there. He was a man of little faith.

WHAT I DO THOU KNOWEST NOT NOW, BUT THOU SHALT KNOW

HEREAFTER.

Peter trusted, then he didn't say anything. When Jesus says,'You will know,' he believes that he will know.

PETER SAITH UNTO HIM: THOU SHALT NEVER WASH MY FEET! JESUS

ANSWERED HIM: IF I WASH THEE NOT, THOU HAST NO PART WITH ME.

The part that believes in Jesus is not the only part in Peter; many other parts also exist. That part which loves Jesus and has trust is not asking now. The first question was from the part that had faith; it was simply a question. How do I make the distinction? You just try to listen to me.

First, Peter said to him,'Lord, dost thou wash my feet?' -- it was a simple question; there was no 'no' in it.'Yes' had not been said, but 'no' had also not been said. It was simply an enquiry:'Dost thou wash my feet?' It didn't look appropriate. When Jesus said,'What I am thou knowest not; but thou shalt know hereafter,' that part which believed and trusted became silent.

Then, the second question from Peter was not from the same Peter. Then he said,'Thou shalt never wash my feet!' Now it is a positive assertion, now it is a positive 'no'. It is no more hesitant; it is no more an enquiry, it is a statement.

This is some other part in Peter which says,'Thou shalt never wash my feet!' Jesus answered him,'If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me -- so you decide. If I don't wash your feet and if you don't allow me, then you have nothing to do with me; you are not a part of me.'

Why? Something very deep has to be understood, and that is: whatsoever you call opposites in life are not as opposite as they appear. You love a person, and you hate him also. When you hate a person you continue to love him, you remain divided. A man who loves riches one day becomes fed-up and then he renounces, then he escapes to the mountains. Then if you bring riches to him, he will not look at them. He is not indifferent; he has moved from 'yes' to 'no'. Now he has moved to the other extreme, but he remains the same man. Once he was infatuated, now he has renounced, rejected, but still he has a relationship with the riches. The relationship exists.

For example: a disciple does not allow the Master to touch his feet. Why? --

because of the ego. It will look very, very difficult to understand, because you will say that ego should feel perfectly happy that the Master is touching the feet.

Yes, there are people who have that type of ego also; we will come across them.

But this too is ego, when Peter says,'No, I will not allow you to touch my feet.

How can I allow you? I am your greatest disciple! How can I allow you to touch my feet?' -- the ego:'I am a humble person, the humblest; how can I allow you to touch my feet?' Deep down, Peter is afraid that if Jesus touches his feet, deep down somewhere some part of his being will feel very exhilarated and happy.

That is the fear. He cannot be indifferent to it. Just see: if you cannot even allow your Master to touch your feet, what else are you going to allow? Peter will say,'I am ready to die for you. You can kill me if you want, but I won't allow you to touch my feet.'

But the basic thing is in saying 'no' to the Master. You can feel ready to die because in dying you will feel very ego-fulfilled -- 'I am becoming a martyr.' The mind is so cunning, but still the same ego, the same mind is there.

I was just reading a few days ago: Once it happened that a Roman Catholic priest and a Church of England clergyman were arguing about religion, as priests and clergymen have always argued. They have not done anything else; argument is their life! So the Catholic priest and the Church of England clergyman were arguing about religion, and they both became rather heated. Then the priest, the Catholic priest said,'We must not quarrel. We are both doing God's work -- you in your way and I in His.' Ego is VERY subtle.

There is a sentence of St. Paul's; listen to it very carefully, it is very dangerous:'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink, for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.'

Mind is so cunning. The first part is from Jesus, but the second part? This sentence is from St. Paul, this second part is from him. Jesus says,'Forgive your enemies, love your enemies,' but St. Paul is saying that this is a device, a strategy:'If you do this you are heaping burning coals upon his head. Do it! You are destroying the enemy this way. He will be in hell and you will be in heaven because you have forgiven him. When he was hungry you fed him, and when he was thirsty you gave him to drink. Now you are pushing him towards hell. You are becoming holier and holier, and the distance is becoming greater and greater, and you can look towards him as if he were a worm.'

Look at the tricks of the mind! Even if you do good, your reasons may not be good. You may serve, and your reasons may not be good. It looks perfectly right from the side of the disciple that he say,'I shall not allow you to touch my feet.'

He thinks that this is how it should be -- Why and how can I allow my Master to touch my feet? He is so great.' But you are denying your Master; you are saying

'no'.

A disciple is a total 'yes'. He should be. He says,'Whatsoever is right, you know better. You know better; if it is right, then do it, and I will be ready to participate in whatsoever you want me to participate in. Wherever you lead me, I will come with you, because I am no more. I am surrendered.'

He said,'Thou shalt never wash my feet.' Jesus answered him,'If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me -- then forget all about your discipleship, forget all about your love towards me. Then you are no more with me.' Jesus can understand the ego, the ego of the righteous man, the ego of the puritan, the ego of the holy man, the ego of the saint. But the ego, whether it is of a saint or a sinner makes no difference; it is the same ego.

I came across a sentence of Richard Nixon's:'Violence has no place in America.

Anyone who preaches violence should be shot like a dog!'

Beware of the cunningness of the mind. This has been done on the earth millions of times: people have killed each other for love, people have destroyed countries because they wanted to help those countries to become religious. For their own sakes, they have killed thousands. Remember, the real cause deep down has to be looked at and searched out. Sometimes you are humble, but the reason is the ego; sometimes you are simple only because you are very complex; sometimes you renounce the world because you are too infatuated with it; sometimes you donate money because you are greedy, and sometimes you look very brave because deep down is the coward. Watch! Man can go on deceiving himself and others by posing and pretending to be something else which he is not. That's why Jesus is so hard. He says,'If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.'

SO AFTER HE HAD WASHED THEIR FEET, AND HAD TAKEN HIS

GARMENTS, AND WAS SET DOWN AGAIN, HE SAID UNTO THEM: KNOW

YE WHAT I HAVE DONE TO YOU?

Jesus touched their feet; it is a communication of energy, it is a deep communion of energy. He asked,'Know ye what I have done to you?' -- and they were not aware. Even if God comes and touches your feet you may not be aware, because it does not depend on God, it depends on your sensitivity. The more deeply sensitive you are, the more you become aware of what is happening. If your sensitivity is so deep that it touches the very core of your being, only then will God's touch be felt. Then it will be a tremendous pouring of energy. When Jesus touched their feet, had they been aware, they would have felt exactly what Hindus call the rising of the kundalini. If they had been aware, they would have seen a tremendous rise, a tide of energy; Jesus was over-flooding them. There are two ways to do it: the Master touches your head and he pulls up your energy -- it is a little difficult. When he touches your feet then he forces it up, which is easier.

Jesus had been touching their heads all the years that they had been with him.

Now he touched their feet. From another side, he wanted to give them a push before he left. He wanted to let them become aware of their own energy before he left, because he would be gone and they would be left in darkness; their own flame was not lit. He tried to force the energy up from below, and asked,'Know ye what I have done to you?' but they knew not. They simply thought. A few who had a certain love for him must have felt awkward, and in that awkwardness they missed the opportunity. Someone who was just indifferent, who neither loved nor hated, would have watched the whole thing like a bystander, a spectator, not involved in it. One who did not love him, but hated him -- Judas -- must have felt very good that now the right thing was being done.

Judas was the only educated, sophisticated disciple of Jesus, and he betrayed. It is a symbolic thing that intellect was the renegade; intellect was going to betray.

He was the intellect of that group of disciples. He was the most scholarly, sophisticated, educated, the most articulate in logic, in thinking. But when you become too clever, your very cleverness becomes like a smokescreen. One great German philosopher, Hegel, has said that God is cunning. When you are cunning, eVen God looks cunning -- because you can only see yourself reflected.

KNOW YE WHAT I HAVE DONE TO YOU? YE CALL ME MASTER AND

LORD, AND YE SAY WELL; FOR SO I AM. IF I THEN, YOUR LORD AND

MASTER, HAVE WASHED YOUR FEET, YE ALSO OUGHT TO WASH ONE

ANOTHER'S FEET. FOU I HAVE GIVEN YOU AN EXAMPLE, THAT YE

SHOULD DO AS I HAVE DONE TO YOU.

This is that which can be said, that which can be understood. Only Jesus is not trying to explain. THAT cannot be explained. The energy push that he gave, the arousal of energy -- that cannot be said. That was felt by a few, that may have been missed by others. Now he is saying that which can be said.

YE CALL ME MASTER AND LORD, AND YE SAY WELL; FOR SO I AM. IF I THEN, YOUR LORD AND MASTER, HAVE WASHED YOUR FEET, YE ALSO

OUGHT TO WASH ONE ANOTHER'S FEET. FOR I HAVE GIVEN YOU AN

EXAMPLE, THAT YE SHOULD DO AS I HAVE DONE TO YOU.

He is telling them to be respectful to each other, and that is very difficult for disciples. They are competitive. And a Master knows that the moment he disappears, the religion will be forgotten and politics will enter because disciples are politicians. In the presence of the Master they may forget their politics, but once the Master is gone they will forget about the Master, sooner or later. They will start fighting about who the leader is, who the greatest disciple is, who the successor is.

This ugliness happens to everybody's, to every Master's disciples. It happened to Mahavir's disciples, it happened to Buddha's disciples, but it didn't happen immediately to Jesus' disciples. The reason is that Jesus touched their feet. It happened later on because the disciples didn't follow; the example was forgotten.

When Jesus touched their feet he was saying,'You go on touching each other's feet -- be respectful and go on doing this to your own disciples also. Sooner or later you will become Masters and you will have disciples -- touch their feet. Let it become a tradition; not a dead one, but let it remain an alive current of reverence.' The disciples didn't fight amongst themselves because Jesus touched their feet. But later on, mind gathers dust and forgets. Then Christianity became divided.

Now Christianity has a thousand and one divisions, all sorts of divisions for small and foolish things which don't mean anything. There are small things for which they go on fighting and creating new churches and new denominations, and if you look deeply, nothing seems to be so important. Their distinctions are just foolish. Their arguments are about very futile things. In the Middle Ages, the Christian theo-logicians were in a great argument, and the argument was: how many angels can stand on a pin-point? How many? -- things like this.

You can find arguments, and then you can go on arguing. The whole thing seems to be that the ego is always in search of fight, because if you fight, only then does it exist. If you love, if you respect, it cannot exist. Jesus said to them through his example,'Don't be related to each other through the ego; be related through love, respect, humility, because soon I will be gone and then there will be no one who can help you to come out of your egos. Then you will be left to yourselves. Then you will have to continue something which can help you not to fall a victim of the ego. Go on touching each other's feet, and do the same to your own disciples.'

WHEN JESUS HAD THUS SAID, HE WAS TROUBLED IN SPIRIT, AND

TESTIFED, AND SAID: VERILY, VERILY, I SAY UNTO YOU, THAT ONE OF

YOU SHALL BETRAY ME.

For the first time he came to know exactly who was going to betray him. By touching the feet he felt the energy, and only Judas was happy that he had touched his feet. In fact, Judas was waiting for it too long. He had always been waiting; he had never thought Jesus higher than him. Deep down, he believed that he was more of a philosopher, of a thinker. Deep down, he used to think that he was of a deeper understanding than Jesus. Many times he had tried, many times he used to show faults to Jesus that'This you did wrong.'

When Mary Magdalene came to see Jesus, she brought a bottle of very costly perfume and she poured it on his feet. Judas immediately said,'This is not right.

You should have prohibited her from doing that. This is not good; this is wasting. This much money could have fed the poor of the whole town for many days.' Of course, your intellect will also agree with Judas. His argument was absolutely socialistic; he was a communist. He was speaking rightly, and he knew more economics than Jesus. It is true; why waste so costly a perfume? The feet can be washed with water. There was no need to pour such a costly perfume on them. The perfume could have been sold and the money could have been used for the poor of the town to be fed -- perfectly true. The argument was right, but what did Jesus say? Jesus said,'The poor will always be with you, but I will not always be with you. You can feed the poor later on when I am gone, but I cannot stop her. You can see only the perfume, I see her heart. I cannot say no to her. In deep love, in deep overflowing, not finding a way to express, she has poured that perfume. I cannot say no to her.' Hmm... but Jesus' argument is not so strong as Judas' argument. Marx would agree with Judas, Mao would also agree with Judas, and I don't think that anybody will agree with Jesus. Even Christians will feel a little embarrassed about the whole thing -- it doesn't fit, doesn't look good. But I agree with Jesus. He understands the language of the heart.

When he touched Judas' feet, immediately he could feel his energy: that he was going to betray, and he was going to betray that very day, that very night.

VERILY, VERILY, I SAY UNTO VOU, THAT ONE OF YOU SHALL BETRAY

ME.... THEN SAID JESUS UNTO HIM: THAT THOUB DOEST, DO QUICKLY.

'Why are you waiting? Whatsoever you want to do, do it quick]y; be finished with it.' And even then Jesus could not understand; even then Judas could not see that this man could understand. Just by touching his feet, this man could understand the future, this man could see what was going to happen. This man had read his innermost thought: that he was going to betray, that he had become a conspirator against him, that he was now a part of the enemy group, that he had already bargained that he would deliver Jesus to them and they would have to pay for it. For only thirty silver coins, Jesus was sold.

This is beautiful, because this is what you are also doing; you are selling your possibility of Jesus for not even thirty silver coins; for any rubbish thing you are ready to exchange. You are ready to give your life for any rubbish thing: for a car, for a house, for jewelry; for anything you are ready to sell your innermost Jesus.

Your head is the Judas!

And the Jesus within you is crucified every day, sold in the market, bargained away for nothing valuable.

But people only repent later on. Even Judas repented after Jesus' crucifixion; the next day he killed himself, committed suicide. Because only afterwards, you become aware of what you have done: for just thirty rupees, thirty silver coins, you have sold the greatest man ever? But only later on, at the time of death, when you have crucified your Jesus completely, then you will repent and you will cry. And then you will see what you have done to yourself, to your God who was hiding within you.

... THEN SAID JESUS UNTO HIM: THAT THOU DOEST, DO

QUICKLY...

Why did he say this? He said this is as a last opportunity to make Judas aware that he was aware. But Judas would not understand. It is as if he had decided not to understand.

If you have eyes to see, you will find God everywhere, good everywhere: scriptures in silence and sermons in stones.

But if you don't know how to see, or you have lost the capacity to see, or you have forgotten how to open your eyes and for all practical purposes you have become blind, then even when a Jesus is standing before you, the door open, you cannot see. If you could see, then even in the rock a door would open and you would find God there. You cannot see that even in Jesus, where God is dancing just in front of you, alive in its infinitude... but you cannot see.

Judas missed. And remember, there are more Judases in the world; the majority consists of them. You may call them Christians, but that doesn't matter; the majority consists of Judases. The followers of Judas are millions, and it is rare that somebody follow Jesus, very rare -- because to follow Jesus you have to lose yourself. You have to pay the cost; you have to pay for it with your own life, your very being. But to follow Judas nothing is asked; it is free of cost. In fact, Judas promises that you can get many things if you follow him. Jesus simply says,'Lose yourself and then everything will happen'; but losing yourself is the beginning. Judas says,'I will give you everything and you need not lose anything.' The cunning mind agrees with Judas; only a trusting heart can agree with Jesus.

... THEN SAID JESUS? UNTO HIM: THAT THOU DOEST, DO QUICKLY. NOW

NO MAN AT THE TABLE KNEW FOR WHAT INTENT HE SPAKE THIS

UNTO HIM.

No other disciple could understand why, why he had said suddenly to Judas,'Do it quickly if you want to do it. Don't wait. For whom are you waiting?' Why Jesus said it, no disciple could understand. Because no disciple was in the present, otherwise they could have seen. No disciple was perceptive enough, otherwise they could have understood.

THEREFORE, WHEN JUDAS WAS GONE OUT, (immediately Judas left) JESUS

SAID: NOW IS THE SON OF MAN GLORIFIED, AND GOD IS GLORIFIED IN

HIM.

'Now is the Son of man glorified'; because now soon he is going to be crucified.

The Son of man is glorified only if the ego is crucified. The ego has its ways of protecting itself. In one way you stop -- it finds another. It goes on and on and on. Unless you look so deeply that you can see all the ways of the ego in one glimpse, in one lightning glimpse, you can do one thing and it starts flowing from another.

I was reading a story: A tomcat who was always out at night caused the neighborhood great annoyance because of the noise from his revels with the female cats. The owners eventually had him doctored, but were disconcerted to find that he still stayed out all night and that the noise continued. So they went to the veterinary surgeon to complain about the ineffectiveness of his treatment.'Nothing unusual,' came the cheerful reply.'You see, he now acts in a consultative capacity.'

If you cannot be active at least you can be consultative. If you stop one door of the ego, the ego starts opening another. You have to see the subtle ways of the ego in a lightning flash, so totally that all its cunning subtleties are seen. In that very vision, in that very fire of sudden lightning, the ego disappears and leaves no shadow behind, no trace behind.

'Now is the Son of man glorified, and God is glorified in him.' Why both together? -- because crucifixion is a meeting point, it is a crossroad. The ego disappears, and man is glorified because man becomes pure when the ego disappears; but immediately that the ego disappears, God is there, and God is glorified. The ego functions as a double-edged sword: on this side man becomes pure, and in that purity, innocence, God is revealed on the other side. The whole thing is, the whole religion is -- how to drop the ego, how to become so aware, alert, that the ego cannot deceive you.

Let me tell you first what ego is. Everybody is born without the ego. When a child is born, he is simply consciousness: floating, flowing, lucid, innocent, virgin

-- no ego exists. By and by, the ego is created by others. The ego is the accumulated effect of others' opinions about you. Somebody comes, a neighbor, and says,'How beautiful a child,' and looks at the child with a very appreciative look. Now the ego starts functioning. Somebody smiles, somebody does not smile; sometimes the mother is very loving, sometimes she is very angry; and the child is learning that he is not accepted as he is. His being is not accepted unconditionally; there are conditions arouncl. If he cries and weeps and visitors are there in the house, then the mother is very angry. If he cries and weeps and there is no visitor, the mother doesn't bother. If he does not cry and weep, the mother always awards with a loving kiss and caress. When the visitors are there, if he can keep quiet and silent, the mother is tremendously happy and awarding.

He is learning others' opinions about himself; he is looking into the mirror of relationship.

You cannot see your face directly. You have to look in a mirror and in the mirror you can recognize your face. That reflection becomes your idea of your face, and there are a thousand and one mirrors all around you -- they all reflect. Somebody loves you, somebody hates you, somebody is indifferent. And then, by and by, the child grows and goes on accumulating the opinions of others. The total essence of the opinions of others is the ego. Then he starts looking at himself the way others look at him. Then he starts looking at himself from the outside -- that s what ego is. If people appreciate and applaud, then he thinks that he is perfectly beautiful, accepted. If people don't applaud and don't appreciate, but reject, he feels condemned. Then he goes on seeking ways and means to be appreciated, to be assured again and again that he is worthy, that he has a worth, a meaning and significance. Then one becomes afraid to be oneself. One has to fit with the opinion of others.

If you drop the ego, suddenly you become a child again. Now you are not worried about what others think about you, now you don't pay any attention to what others say about you. You are not concerned, not even a bit. Now you have dropped the mirror. It is pointless -- you have your face, why ask the mirror?

And there are many types of mirrors: some make your face look long, some make your face look big, some make your face look small, some make your face look horrible, distorted.

Don't ask the mirror, because then the quality of the glass will always be there in the reflection. And there are millions of mirrors all around you, millions of relationships, and you go on gathering. That's why ego is always inconsistent. It is a crowd; it is a heap with no inner coherence. Somebody says that you are beautiful, then somebody says that you are just homely. Somebody says,'You? --

and beautiful? You make me feel horrible, terrible. You are nauseating. You? --

and beautiful? You are a nausea. I feel like vomiting whenever I see you.' Now what to do? You collect all these opinions -- inconsistent, contradicting each other -- and they all become part of your ego.

Ego is a crowd. It is a marketplace because you have gathered it in the marketplace, because you have gathered it from the crowd. It is not you, it is others' opinions about you. Why be bothered? Drop all opinions of others about you. Why not be direct and immediate? Why not see within yourself, in your own nature? Why not face yourself? Why bring a mediator, a mirror into it?

When you start looking into your own nature with closed eyes, you are moving beyond the ego. And once you know who you are -- even a slight glimpse -- then you will start laughing at the whole ridiculousness of it: that you were asking others who you are. They don't know themselves who they are, so why ask them? You become free; a freedom is attained. Without the ego, you come back to your own nature.

JESUS SAID: NOW IS THE SON OF MAN GLORIFIED, AND GOD IS

GLORIFIED IN HIM. A NEW COMMANDMENT I GIVE UNTO YOU, THAT

YE LOVE ONE ANOTHER; AS I HAVE LOVED YOU, THAT YE ALSO LOVE

ONE ANOTHER. BY THIS SHALL ALL MEN KNOW THAT YE ARE MY

DISCIPLES, IF YE HAVE LOVE ONE TO ANOTHER.

Love is the essential message of Jesus, but it has been lost -- lost in arguments, debates, discussions, conflicting philosophies, wars.

I would like to tell you one anecdote: One day a little boy asked his parents,'How do wars break out? How are they declared?' He was reading a book on history, and a book on history is nothing but wars, ugly wars. That is all your history is.

The boy became worried, anxious.'Why do wars start? How do they start?' he asked his parents.

So the father, who was very learned in political and economic affairs, started talking about the economic causes of u wars.

But the mother thought that the little boy was too small to understand such complicated things and she said,'Let me explain it.' The mother began to explain and the father became very angry. He grew very angry and hostile, because he was going to teach the child and the mother jumped in. A great argument developed.

The little boy was very frightened indeed, and held up his hands and cried loudly,'Stop, stop! Now I know how wars start.'

Once you create a philosophy, an opinion, you are already on the warpath. If there is ideology, there is going to be fight. This is the predicament: there are people who want the world to be without wars, but they have ideologies and their ideologies create wars. There are communists who go on arranging peace conferences, and they have a particular ideology of how the world should be and how the society should be. There are Catholics who go on talking about peace, but they have an ideology; and there are Hindus who go on talking about peace, but they have an ideology. There are even Jains who talk of non-violence, peace, no war, but they have an ideology -- and if you have an ideology you are the cause of war.

A world without wars will be a world without ideologies. A world without wars can be based only on a nonideological love. Love is not an ideology, it is not a theology, it is not a philosophy.'This,' Jesus says,'is my new commandment.'

A NEW COMMANDMENT I GIVE UNTO YOU, THAT YE LOVE ONE

ANOTHER; AS I HAVE LOVED YOU, THAT YE ALSO LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

BY THIS SHALL ALL MEN KNOW THAT YE ARE MY DISCIPLES, IF YE

HAVE LOVE ONE TO ANOTHER.

Verily, verily, I also say unto you, that only those who love are Christians.

Catholics cannot be Christians; they are against Protestants. Protestants cannot be Christians; they are against Catholics. Christians cannot be Christians; they are against Hindus. Hindus cannot be Christians; they are against Mohammedans and Christians. To follow Christ, one has to follow love. This is his new commandment: follow love and forget everything. Everything is irrelevant; only love has relevance because only love leads you to the divine, only love leads you to the temple of God. Make love your only, and the ONLY

commandment. There is nothing else. If you follow love, everything will be set right of its own accord.

One man went to St. Augustine and asked,'Just in short, give me the very essence of religion. I am not a learned man; don't make it very complicated and don't give me many commandments, because I will get confused. You simply say one thing to me, just a key word.'

St. Augustine said,'Then that word is 'love'. You love and don't be bothered by anything else.'

If you love, everything falls in step of its own accord. Let love be your God; let love be your only commandment; let love be your religion. Please remember --

don't make an ideology of it. Act in a loving way, be in a loving way. Don't create a philosophy around love because that will create wars. A peaceful world is possible if love starts throbbing in the heart of man. Man has been so inhuman to man in the past that even animals look like angels in comparison. Because up to now we have only talked about love; we have not loved.

Now let us love, and forget all talk about love. Lovers are needed.

And remember one thing which Jesus says, because you may not have listened to it:'A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another' -- and now comes the most important clause in the sentence -- 'as I have loved you.'

How does a Jesus love? His love is unconditional. He loves; he loves you without any expectations. He loves you just because you are beautiful. It is not that he has some expectations of you; it is not that you have to be in a certain way, then he will love. He simply loves you because you are, because you are God.

You ARE gods; you are already worthy. Whatsoever you are, you have a worth of tremendous value, otherwise God wouldn't allow you to exist. So Jesus''as I have loved you' means: be in the attitude of unconditional love. And remember, only unconditional love is love.

Love conditioned is love corrupted; love unconditioned is the vast sky of being.

It is another word for God.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #4

Chapter title: All Who Hear It Lose Themselves 24 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

The first question:

Question 1

YOU SAID THERE ARE ONLY TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE: THOSE WHOSE

PATH IS AWARENESS AND THOSE WHOSE PATH IS SURRENDER OR

BHAKTI. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT LAO TZU HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH

EITHER OF THEM -- IS THERE A THIRD TYPE THEN WHO FOLLOW

NEITHER OR BOTH?

LAO Tzu has no path, or, the no-path is his path. Lao Tzu says,'There is nowhere to go, you are already there.' So the very word 'path' becomes meaningless. A path is needed if you are going somewhere. If you are already there then the path is not needed at all. In fact, to have a path will be dangerous; you will go astray. Lao Tzu says,'Those who follow a path go astray.' By and by, they go further and further away from themselves.

'Seeker, follow no path, because all paths lead there, truth is here.'

Lao Tzu is the last word in spirituality; beyond him there is nothing.

Ordinarily it is very difficult to conceive no-path because then you are suddenly thrown to yourself, with nothing to cling to, nothing to do: no method, no technique, no means. Suddenly you are thrown to yourself, and that has become almost impossible for you. You need something else to be occupied with. You leave the world, you leave your family, you renounce everything, but you never renounce the 'other'. In some form or other: in the form of God, in the form of yoga, in the form of a technique, you still have something. Lao Tzu takes that too away from you. He leaves you totally empty. That emptiness needs much courage. In fact, all other paths finally come to the same point.

If you follow bhakti, surrender, one day you will come to understand that in the first place there was nothing to surrender; ego never existed. The ego was false, so the surrender was also false because the disease never existed. But it helped, surrender helped you to know that the ego never existed. Then suddenly you start laughing at the whole ridiculousness of it: that you were surrendering something to your Master that you never had, or you were surrendering something to God that was just a false notion. But this will come in the end; with Lao Tzu it comes in the beginning. With Lao Tzu, the first step is the last. In fact, no-step is the last; there is no beginning and no end. The same is true about Zen.

These are not ideologies or philosophies. These are not scriptures; these are tremendous visions of instant mutation.

It happened: When Bodhidharma reached China a great scholar went to see him, and he had brought with him the greatest book that he had written It was very famous; the book was almost in every home. The philosopher was acclaimed by the whole nation. He went to Bodhidharma, the founder of Zen. He wanted the Master's opinion about his book, in which he had talked about all the possible paths, all the possible ideologies, very minutely. Very subtle was his exposition.

He was a very, very refined intellect, a master-mind. What did Bodhidharma do?

He took the book in his hand, put it to his nose and said,'It has a kind of quarrelsome smell about it,' and threw the book away. He said,'Take it away from here! It will spoil my disciples, it will corrupt. It has a certain quarrelsome smell about it.'

All paths, all ideologies, all philosophies, all theologies are quarrelsome. They are in the marketplace claiming,'Only our path leads to truth.' Not on]y that: they are fighting, arguing with other paths, other ideologies. The world of ideologies is a marketplace.

If you are ready to take the jump, then the truth is already present in you. There is no need to go anywhere; there is no need to look for it anywhere. Close the eyes and it is here. You ARE the truth.

So now, let us try to understand the question.

Yes, there are two types of people, two types of persons. Humanity is divided into two types: the male and the female, the yin and the yang, the negative and the positive, the aggressive and the passive. These two types of people both live in illusion, in a sort of dream, a kind of sleep; drunk with desire, blind with desire. The person who belongs to the male type needs some path upon which he can exercise his will; that will suit him. Finally, a day will come when by this exercising of his will, by and by, he will start understanding that he is engaging in a futile effort. But he will take a long time to understand this. He will have to fall many times, and he will again stand, and he will again make efforts, and he will again be a failure because the will cannot succeed.

The will means the ego, the will means you. It is going to fail. But many times it will fail and you will go on hoping that the next time it will not fail. But one day -

- how can you escape the fact forever and ever? -- one day or the other, you will stumble upon the fact that you are doing something stupid. In that realization the will will disappear, and suddenly you will see that the path has disappeared, the religion has disappeared, and you are illumined. It was always there, but you were so much occupied with the path, the will, the effort. All effort brings you to effortlessness, and all willing brings you to will-lessness, and all ego finally brings you to egolessness.

The other part of humanity, the female part, the passive part, cannot move on the path of will. It needs another illusory path: the path of surrender, devotion, bhakti. One day or other, devoting yourself and still finding that something is lacking, because the devotion can never be total -- anything illusory can never be total: surrendering and surrendering, and again and again finding that you are still standing behind, you are not yet surrendered -- one day suddenly you become aware of the fact. What are you going to do? Surrendering something which you don't have? -- how is it possible? Suddenly the ego has disappeared.

Now there is no need to surrender, because there is no ego left.

The path of surrender and the path of will both bring you to where Lao Tzu starts. Their end is the beginning of Lao Tzu. His path is of pathlessness. He is the ultimate word, beyond which nothing exists. He is the last word. Buddha can be improved upon, Jesus can be improved upon, Meera and Mahavir, Krishna and Chaitanya can be improved upon, but not Lao Tzu. You cannot improve upon him; there is nothing to improve. He simply does not play the game. From the very beginning he is a non-participant.

The questioner has asked,'Is there a third type of person?' No, there are only two types of people. The third type is not a type, because all types belong to the ego.

The third type is sheer humanness. It is not a being, it is not a person. It is simply sheer existence, pure existence, purity itself. These two are the types. When these types disappear, then you become aware of that which is universal, which has nothing to do with the person, because personality gathers around the ego.

Whether you will or you surrender makes no difference. The personality needs a base in the ego.

The ego has two types: the male and female. But a person who is egoless is not a type at all. You cannot categorize him, you cannot put him in any category. He simply transcends all categories. He is a flood -- he is flowing in all directions, he is spread all over. He is not like a stone, he is like the sky: indefinable, elusive.

The third is not a type, Lao Tzu is not a type. He does not belong to the world of types, the world of categories; he is simply beyond.

When Confucius went to see him, Confucius became very frightened, because to look into the eyes of Lao Tzu is to look into the eternal abyss... bottomless. It is what Buddha calls SHUNYA: eternal void, emptiness. He started trembling, he tried to escape from him. When his disciples said,'Say something about Lao Tzu, because you have been to see him,' he was still trembling and perspiring. He said,'Don't ask about that man! He is not a man at all; he is a dragon. And never go near him, he is dangerous! He can suck you in and you disappear.'

Had Confucius known about black holes he would have said,'He is a black hole; don't go near him! Once you fall into him you will never be able to return. He is dangerous!' Only once did Confucius go to see him -- never again -- but his whole life, the shadow haunted him, because he had known a man who was not bounded. He had known a man who had no limitations. He had known sheer humanity, pure humanity, pure beingness. He had seen the purity of death and life.

No, the third does not belong to any types.

The second question:

Question 2

I AM AWARE OF A DICHOTOMY WITHIN ME: WHEN I AM NEAR YOU, I AM DRAWN TOWARDS YOU AND AM CONSCIOUS OF BEING A THIRSTY

SEEKER. WHEN I AM AWAY FROM THE ASHRAM I JUST HAVE A GOOD

TIME AND FEEL DELICIOUSLY UNHOLY. IS SOMETHING WRONG?

Nothing is wrong! It is as it should be. That's what I would like it to be -- exactly, precisely. This is what I am trying to teach you: don't be serious about holiness.

Be playful, take it as a fun. It is the greatest fun there is -- but it is fun. Once you become serious, you will become a victim of some church or some priest. Once you become serious you are already ill.

When you are near me, flow with me, be with me. When you go to the river, swim with the river; but there is no need to swim in the market. Then you will look ridiculous. In the marketplace move into the market, become part of the market. Retain the capacity of fluidity. Don't gather a character, a rigid structure around you. Remain capable of moving from one polarity to another; that is what life is. Don't get frozen. There is no dichotomy.

This is the beauty of life, that it comprehends the opposites. While you are with me be with me, enjoy this search. At home, sipping your tea, or smoking, enjoy the tea, enjoy smoking. Nothing is unholy in it. In fact, the definition of 'holy' is: to be whole. And to be whole means to comprehend the contradictions. Don't be just the day, be the night also. Don't be just the light, be the darkness also, because darkness has its own beauties; you will miss them. And you will only be a half-person if you don't have any night in you where you can go and relax. If you are simply serious, then you will remain in the head, hung-up. But if you can become non-serious also, then you can move into the heart.

The heart is a non-serious playfulness. The head is very serious. You should remain capable of flowing. That capacity to flow is to be religious. When you go into the temple, you become a part of the temple; when you go to the world, you become part of the world. But wherever you are, you are always capable of moving into the opposite. If you cannot do that then you become a dead thing.

Only a dead thing cannot move to the opposite. A dead thing is a fixed character.

I have heard: A great Zen Master died, and another Zen Master who had always been the opposite polarity to this Master, went to follow the dead body to the cemetery. There were thousands of people in the funeral procession. The man who had always remained the enemy of the Master was there. Somebody asked,'Why have you come? You were always antagonistic to him.' The man laughed. He said,'It was part of being holy -- I was the opposite of him, and he was my opposite. Between us two, we were creating life. People were moving from him to me, from me to him, and between us there was a conspiracy: we were creating life. Structured, frozen people... we were melting them. Now I will miss him tremendously.' And later on when he saw so many people, thousands following, he said,'This is really wonderful! In the wake of one living person, so many dead people are going!'

Life is not a fixity. It is not like rock, it is like river -- rivering, flowing. It is a process, it is not a thing. If you understand me, I am here to make your whole life holy. So whatsoever you do, enjoy it totally and don't create the dichotomy. The dichotomy is of the mind; you are creating it. There is no problem at all. What is wrong? If you feel deliciously unholy, perfectly good. Don't become a holy man, otherwise you will miss wholeness and you will never be holy. Remain capable of being unholy also. Then holiness and unholiness become your two banks, and between the two flows the river which belongs to neither bank, which is always transcending and going far away and far away.

Don't create a character. If you 're going to remain creative, don't create a character. Each moment, try to bring yourself out of the character that was being created in the past moment. Character means the past, you always mean the present. Consciousness is always the present, and character is always of the past.

Whenever you talk about somebody's character, you talk about his past: whatsoever he has done, that is his character. Character is always dead. Try to understand character. Try to pull yourself up again and again, to remind yourself again and again. Remember yourself again and again so that you remain in the present -- alive, throbbing.

Don't get caught in a character. Don't become holy, don't become unholy. A saint is dead, a sinner also, but not a man who can move between the two with no difficulty, who can move easily between the two, as easily as you come out of your house and go in. You feel cold, it is a winter morning -- you come out to sun yourself. And then it becomes hot, the sun rising high -- you move in, you go into your house. There is no difficulty in it. The difficulty will arise only if you are paralyzed. Then you cannot come out of the house; you are paralyzed. If somebody carries you out somehow, outside of the house, then you still cannot move because now you are paralyzed there.

Don't be paralyzed; remain alive. Don't become a dead thing. And the only way is: every day, die to the past so that you can be alive here-now. Go on dying to the past. Never carry the past around with you, otherwise you are carrying a great imprisonment around you; a great prison surrounds you. I am not concerned about whether that prison is made of gold and decorated with diamonds, or if it is a poor man's prison, just a dark cell. Whether it is the prison you call 'saint' or the prison you call 'sinner' does not matter. A prison is a prison, and you should not be a prisoner. Be free. Don't create any problem out of it.

I would like to tell you a story. Many centuries ago, a temple of higher knowledge was being built on a hill overlooking the Nile. The man who would become its chief teacher wanted a suitable proverb to be inscribed over the front door. He thought about it many times as the work progressed. The morning fina]ly came when the foreman needed to have the selected proverb, so he asked the teacher for it.'Please come back in an hour,' requested the teacher,'I will then have it for you.' While thinking about it, the teacher wandered near a skilled workman who was gently correcting the work of a young man. The teacher heard the older man make the encouraging remark'There is another way.' Over the centuries, as troubled students and visitors entered the temple, their first lesson was inscribed over the door. It read: There is another way.

You ask me how to get rid of this dichotomy? I tell you, there is another way: there is no need to get rid of it -- accept it, enjoy it. Don't try to choose; remain choicelessly aware. Then the whole life is holy, and the whole earth is God's temple. Then nothing is wrong.

My definition of wrongness is: anything that becomes an imprisonment is wrong. And anything that remains freedom is right. Freedom is right, imprisonment is wrong. So remain alert, because each moment you are creating a past, and if you are not alert the dust of the past will go on gathering around you. As you clean your house every morning, every evening go on cleaning your inner consciousness, every moment. Only then can you remain fresh, like a fresh flower, a virgin-ness, a mirror which can reflect, which has not gathered any dust around it.

The third question:

Question 3

IN INTENSIVE PSYCHOTHERAPY THE PATIENT MAY EITHER BE TALKING

OR LISTENING, THAT IS, TRYING TO HEAR FROM WITHIN. ONLY THE

LATTER IS OF VALUE. A GOOD THERAPIST, ESPECIALLY IF LOVE EXISTS, WILL HIT ON MANY WAYS OF HEIGHTENING THIS PROCESS OF

LISTENING FOR THE UNEXPECTED. IS THIS A FORM OF MEDITATION? IN

FACT, MIGHT IT BE SAID THAT IDEALLY, BOTH THERAPIST AND

PATIENT ARE MEDITATING TOGETHER?

Therapy is basically meditation and love, because without love and meditation there is no healing possible. When the therapist and the patient are not two, when the therapist is not only a therapist and when the patient is not a patient anymore, but a deep I-thou relationship arises where the therapist is not trying to treat the person, when the patient is not looking at the therapist as separate from himself -- in those rare moments, therapy happens. When the therapist has forgotten his knowledge, and the patient has forgotten his illness, and there is a dialogue, a dialogue of two beings, in that moment, between the two, healing happens. And if it happens, the therapist will always know that he functioned only as a vehicle for a divine force, for a divine healing. He will be as grateful for the experience as the patient. In fact, he will gain as much out of it as the patient.

When you treat a person as a patient, you treat him as if he is a machine. Just like a mechanic who is trying to change, to adjust a mechanism, trying to put it right, then the therapist is an expert, hung-up in his knowledge in the head. He is trying to help the other person as if the other person is not another person, but a machine. He may be technically expert, he may have the know-how, but he is not going to be of much help. Because this very look is destructive. This very looking at the patient and seeing him as an object creates a resistance in the patient; he feels hurt.

Have you watched? There are only a very few doctors with whom you don't feel humiliated, with whom you don't feel as if you have been treated as an object, with whom you feel a deep respect for you, with whom you feel that you are taken as a person, not as a mechanism. And it is more so when it is a question of psychotherapy. A psychotherapist needs to forget all that he knows. In the moment, he has to become a love, a flowing love. In the moment, he has to accept the humanity of the other, the subjectivity of the other. The other should not be reduced to a thing, otherwise you have closed the doors for a greater healing force to descend, from the very beginning. To be a therapist is one of the most difficult things in the world, because you have to know to help, and on the other hand, you have to forget all that you know to help. You have to know much to help, and you have to forget all of it to help. A therapist has to do a very contradictory thing, and only then does therapy happen. When love flows and the therapist listens to the patient with tremendous attention, and the patient also tries to listen to his own inner being, to his own unconscious talking to him, when this listening happens, by and by, in that deep listening there are not two persons. Maybe there are two polarities....

When you listen to me, healing is happening all the time. When you listen to me so attentively that you are not there -- no mind, no thinking -- you have become just the ears, you just listen, you absorb; and I am not here at all, so when in some rare moments you are also not there, there is healing. Suddenly you are healed.

Without your knowing, you are being healed every day. Without your knowing, the healing surrounds you, the healing force surrounds you. Your wounds heal, your darkness disappears, your limitations are broken; this is a therapy.

In the East we have never had anything like a psychotherapist, because the Master was more than enough. Whatsoever psychoanalysis knows today the East has known for centuries. Nothing is new in it. But in the East, we never gave birth to the category of the psychoanalyst, but the Master; not the patient but the disciple.

Just look at the difference. When you come to me as a patient you bring a very ugly mind; when you come to me as a disciple you bring a beautiful mind. When I look at you as a therapist, that very look reduces you to a thing; when I look as Master that very look raises you to the heights of your innermost being. In the East we have never called the Master 'psychotherapist', and he is the greatest therapist that has ever been known in the world! Just sitting by the side of a Buddha, millions were healed. Wherever he moved there was healing, but healing was never talked about. It was simply happening; there was no need to talk about it. The very presence of a Buddha, and the loving look from the Master, and the readiness to absorb from the disciple....

The word 'patient' is ugly. The word in itself is not ugly; it comes from a very beautiful root. It comes from the same root as 'patience', but it has become ugly by association. A disciple is totally different: you have come to learn something, not to be treated, and the treatment happens by itself. All therapy is learning. In fact, why have you become mentally ill? -- because you have learned something wrong. You have learned something so totally wrong that you are caught in it.

You need somebody who can uncondition you, who can help you to unlearn it and channelize your energy in a different path, that's all.

For example: one woman came to me. I have been watching her for many years; she has been coming to me for many years. The first time she came she told me that she was not interested in sex at all, but her husband was continuously after sex. She felt very bad about it; she was almost vomiting.'How to stop it? What should I do?' she asked. I talked to the husband and told the husband,'Just for one month, don't be interested sexually. After one month, things will be better and different.' For one month he followed me. The woman came again. She said,'I am feeling very hurt, because my husband is not at all interested in me sexually.' Then I told her,'Now, you have to understand what is happening.

When the husband is sexually interested, you have a certain power over the husband. You enjoy that power, but at the same time you also feel that you are being used. Because the husband looks at you sexually, that means that he looks at you as a means towards a certain satisfaction. You feel that you are being used.' Almost all women feel that they are being used, and that is their problem.

But if the husband stops taking interest they forget all about being used, and they become afraid. Then they start thinking that the husband is going far away. Now they have no more power over him, they don't possess him. So I told the woman,'Just look at the fact: if you want to possess the husband you will have to be possessed by him. If you want to possess the husband, then you will have to be used by him.'

A mind which is possessive will be possessed. To possess anything is to be possessed by it. The more you possess, the more slavery you create around yourself. The freedom comes when you unlearn possessiveness. When you unlearn possessiveness, then you are not in search of any power over anybody.

Then jealousy does not arise. And when you are not trying to possess the other, you create such beauty around yourself that the other cannot look at you as a thing. You become a person -- glorified, vibrant, illuminated -- you become a light unto yourself; nobody can possess you. Whosoever comes near you will feel the tremendous beauty, and will not be able to think in terms of your being a thing.

Now every woman suffers, because in the first place she wants to possess; when she wants to possess, she is possessed; when she is possessed she feels,'I am being used.' If she is not being used, then she feels that power is disappearing. So a woman always remains in a suffering, and it is the same with men.

To look deeply into a problem is to be healed, because the very look shows you that you have learned some wrong trick. Unlearn... there is healing. People are mentally ill because they have been conditioned wrongly. Everybody has been conditioned to be competitive and everybody has been taught to be silent and peaceful. This is stupid; you cannot do both. Either you are competitive, then you remain tense; or you be silent and peace-loving, then you cannot be competitive.

You have been taught dichotomies. You have been told to move in two directions together, and you have learned it. You have been taught to be humble, and you have been continuously taught to be egoistic.

If your son is first in the class at university, you feel very happy. You give a party for his friends, and you go on showing your son that he is a great man; he is first in the class, he is being awarded a gold medal. Now this is an ego-trip, all medals are. And at the same time, you go on teaching him to be humble. Now you are creating a difficulty: if he becomes humble he will not be competitive; if he becomes competitive, he cannot be humble. If he wants to attain the gold medals that this life can give, then he cannot be humble. Then all his humbleness will be hypocrisy. One has to see. Now this man will be in trouble: continuously he will try to be humble, and continuously he will try to succeed in life. If he succeeds, he will never enjoy the success, because he will have become arrogant and egoistic, and he had an ideal of being humble and egoless. If he becomes humble and egoless he will not feel happy, because he has that ideal to succeed in the world, to show to the world the mettle that he is made of.

The society goes on being contradictory, inconsistent, and the society goes on teaching you things which are absolutely wrong. Then illness happens. Then there is psychic turmoil within you, conflict within you. Then you come to a point where everything is in disorder, topsy-turvy. You can either go to a Master, or you can go to a psychotherapist. If you go to a Master you go as a disciple, to learn. You have learned something wrong; it has to be unlearned and something new has to be learned. When you go as a disciple you don't feel humiliated, you feel happy about it. But if you go as a mental case, if you go as a patient, you feel embarrassed. Going to a psychotherapist, you want to hide the facts -- 'People should not know because that means that my mind is not functioning well.'

Going to the psychotherapist, you would like to hide it. A psychotherapist is an expert: he himself has problems, almost the same as you have; he may be of some help to you, but he has not been of much use to himself.

But a Master has no problems. He can help you tremendously because he can see you through and through. You become transparent before him. A psychotherapist is a professional: even if he takes care of you, shows a certain love towards you, affection, it is a professional gesture. A Master is not professionally related to you. The relationship is totally different; it is heart to heart.

In the West, now there are so many psychotherapies, but nothing is proving to be helpful. Patients go from one psychoanalyst to another, from one therapy to another. Their whole lives they are moving from one door to another. Masters are needed, realized ones are needed who have attained to love. But even in ordinary psychotherapy, if for some moments it happens that the patient is no longer a patient and the therapist is no longer a therapist -- a certain love, a certain humanity; they have forgotten their profession, their professional relationship, and love flows -- healing immediately happens.

Healing is a function of love. Love is the greatest therapy, and the world needs therapists because the world lacks love. If people were loving: if parents were loving, if teachers and professors were loving, if the society had a loving climate around it, there would be no need.

Everybody is born to remain healthy and happy. Everybody is seeking health and happiness, but somewhere something is missing and everybody becomes miserable. Misery should be an exception; it has become the rule. Happiness should be the rule; it has become an exception. I would like a world where buddhas are born, but nobody remembers them because they are the rule. Now Buddha is remembered, Christ is remembered, Lao Tzu is remembered, because they are exceptions. Otherwise, who would bother about them? If there were a buddha in every house, and if there were buddhas all over the marketplace and you could meet Lao Tzu anywhere, who would bother? Then that would be the simple rule. It should be so.

Lao Tzu says,'When the world was really moral there was no possibility of becoming a saint.' When the world was really religious there was no need for religions. People were simply religious; religions were not needed. When there was order, a discipline, a NATURAL order and discipline, the words 'order' and

'discipline' didn't exist. The idea of order comes in only when there is disorder.

People start talking about discipline where there is no discipline, and people talk about healing when illness is there. People talk about love when love is missing.

But basically, therapy is a function of love.

This question is from a psychotherapist, Buddhaghosha. I would like him to carry my message in his life. He will be going back soon: Now go, not as a therapist but as a human being. Never look at the patient as a patient. Look at him as if he has come to learn something -- a disciple. Help him, but not as an expert; help him like a human being, and there will be much healing. There will be less therapy and much healing. Otherwise, therapy continues for years and years on end, and the result is almost nil. Or, sometimes the result is even harmful.

I have heard about one man who had a very curious habit: whenever he was in the pub he would drink wine and always leave a little part in the glass and throw it all around, over people. He was beaten many times. Then somebody suggested, the owner of the pub suggested,'Why don't you go to a psychoanalyst? You need therapy because you have been beaten and you have been thrown out of the pub. Again you come and again you do the same.

Something seems to be wrong. You are obsessed.'

So he went, and after three months he came back. He was looking better. The pub owner asked,'Have you been to some psychoanalyst? Because for three months you have disappeared.'

He said,'Yes, and it helped me tremendously.'

'Are you cured?' the owner asked.

He said,'Perfectly cured.' But he did the same thing again.

The owner said,'What type of treatment is this? You are doing the same thing!'

He said,'But I am completely changed. Before, I used to do it and I used to feel guilty. I don't feel guilt anymore. The psychoanalyst helped me, cured me of the guilt. I used to feel embarrassed, now I don't bother.'

This has happened in the West: psychoanalysis has helped many people just to feel that nothing matters. It has not given a deeper responsibility, it has only taken away the feeling of guilt. The feeling of guilt is bad; it has to be taken away. But, it should be taken away in such a way that the person unlearns the idea of guilt, but learns the idea of responsibility. Guilt is bad, guilt is very dangerous -- it destroys you. It is like a wound. But to feel responsible is very, very essential -- it gives you soul, it gives you an integration. And unless you feel responsibles you are not a healthy person. A healthy person is always aware that whatsoever he is doing, he is responsible. The very idea of responsibility will give you a freedom, a dignity. An authentic being will come out of it. You will become more present, you will be more here and now.

The idea of guilt is a false coin. It looks like responsibility; it is not. Guilt makes you depressed. Responsibility will give you an intensity, a sharpness of awareness. You will have more integration in you, you will feel more together.

Buddhaghosha, go to the West, but not now as a psychotherapist. Now you are a sannyasin. Feel the responsibility of being a sannyasin. Go to help people, and if you help people you will be tremendous]y helped. If you love people, you will be loved. If you heal people, if you become a vehicle of healing force and energy, you will be healed. And always remember that while healing a person you are part of the process; you are also being healed. While teaching a person, you are also being taught. The best way in the world to learn anything is to teach it. The best way in the world to learn ANYTHING is to teach it. But remember that the Master is also a disciple. He continuously goes on learning. Each disciple is a new lesson, and to work with each patient or disciple is to open a new book, a new life.

Great are the rewards of love. Go as a sannyasin and create a climate around you so that the patient comes to learn, to unlearn, to be transformed. He is not to be taken as a case but as a helpless human being, as helpless as you are. And don't look from a tower: holier than thou, higher than you, more knowledgeable than you. Don't look that way; that gaze is violent, and then love becomes impossible.

Look as a human being, as helpless as the other -- in the same boat, in the same plight. You will be helpful, and much healing will happen through you.

I have heard an anecdote about Harvard's famed professor, Charles T. Copeland.

He was once asked by a student,'Is there anything I can do to learn the art of conversation?'

'Yes, there is one thing,' said Copeland,'if you listen I will tell you.'

For several minutes there was silence, then the student said,'I am listening, professor.'

'You see,' said Copeland,'you are learning already.'

Listening is learning, because when you listen silently the whole existence starts speaking to you. When you are absolutely silent, that is the greatest moment to learn.

Life reveals its secrets when you are silent.

So, whether helping a disciple, a fellow traveller, a friend, or trying to heal a patient, be a great listener. Listen so passionate]y, so attentively that the other becomes, by and by, capable of revealing his secret-most depths to you -- depths which he has not revealed to anybody because nobody was ready to listen; depths which he has not revealed to himself because he was also not ready to listen; depths which have remained always in the dark. Listen so tremendously that the very milieu of your listening brings out all that is hidden in the patient, in the disciple. He will be surprised that he is saying things to you; he never knew that those things existed in him. Through your listening you will make him aware of his own unconscious, and that is a healing thing. Once the unconscious becomes the conscious, many things disappear. All that is rubbish disappears and all that is significant deepens.

But how can you teach listening? -- by being a great listener. While you are listening to a patient or a friend, don't become bored. If you are bored, please tell him that this is not the right moment:'Some other moment; I am not in a mood to listen.' Never listen to anybody when you are feeling bored, because your boredom creates a climate in which the other immediately feels that he is rejected. Your boredom goes on saying to him that,'Whatsoever you are saying is all rubbish. Stop, shut up.' Whether you say it or not doesn't matter. Your whole being is saying,'Shut up! Be finished with it.'

Because of this, Freud used to use a certain method. The method was to hide himself from the patient. The patient would lie on a couch and Freud would sit just at the back. The patient would not be able to see what Freud was thinking about, whether he was listening or not. He would sit at the back, and the patient would talk a monologue to himself. Freudian analysis takes many years: three, four, five, even ten years. There are even patients who have been in analysis for twenty years, and nothing has happened. It is inhuman. Face the patient; look eye to eye, don't hide like a ghost. Be human, be open, and listen.

Freud taught his disciples not to ever touch the patient. That is absolutely wrong, because then you become inhuman. There are moments when just holding the hand of the patient will do much, much more than all analysis can do. But Freud was very afraid that there was a possibility that intimacy might start between the doctor and the patient. The doctor should remain far away and aloof; he should not come down to the human world. Freud was very afraid, it seems, of his own humanity. He was very much afraid of his own mind. He could not allow intimacy; a very deep fear, a very deep complex must have existed in him.

People who are afraid of relationship are afraid of themselves, because in relationship they are revealed, in relationship they are mirrored. Freud was a puritan.

There is no need to be so far away, otherwise healing will not happen. Come closer. The patient has to be taken in deep intimacy, so that he can reveal, so that he can bring his whole heart to you.

And respond! Don't listen like a marble statue -- respond. Sometimes laugh with him, sometimes weep and cry -- respond, because when you respond, the relationship, the moment, becomes alive. If you don't respond, the whole thing goes on like a stale, dead thing. Respond; make the whole thing alive, and much is possible. Much more is possible than through just analyzing, diagnosing.

Freud's psychoanalysis remained a head-trip. The real therapy has to be total.

The fourth question:

Question 4

THIS IS A MARXIST, A CHRISTIAN THEOLOGIAN'S QUESTION -- SO MANY

DISEASES TOGETHER!

IN TRADITIONAL CHINA THERE WAS A SAYING,'CONFUCIAN IN OFFICE, TAOIST OUT OF OFFICE.' THIS REPRESENTED A DEEP DIVISION AND

DILEMMA IN CHINESE SOCIETY, PERHAPS ALL SOCIETIES. CAN THERE

BE AN ENLIGHTENED SOCIETY WHICH DOES NOT TEACH THE WAY OF

THE EGO? OR IS SOCIETY BY NATURE OF ITS VERY ORDERED AND

PATTERNED REALITY OF THE CALCULATING AND REPRESSIVE

COLLECTIVE MIND OR EGO; IS SOCIETY, EVEN THAT OF ENLIGHTENED

INDIVIDUALS OR WOULD-BE ENLIGHTENED INDIVIDUALS, BY ITS VERY

NATURE, OPPOSED TO ENLIGHTENMENT?

First, the old saying is perfectly beautiful: A Taoist out of office, and a Confucian in the office. When you live with people, you have to follow certain rules. Those rules have no ultimacy about them; they are rules of a game. For example: if you walk on the road you have to walk to the right or to the left, as the society has decided. If you start walking anywhere, you will be in trouble and you will create trouble for others. Keeping to the left is not something ultimate; it is utilitarian, it has uSe. It is not that God has commanded you to walk to the left; because in America they go on keeping to the right. Whether you keep to the right or to the left does not matter; but you have to keep to either the right or left.

A rule has to exist because there are so many persons. If you are alone on the road, then there is no problem. If you have a private road where you walk alone, it is up to you. There is no need to keep to the left, because then that would be an obsession, foolish. Then you can walk in the middle of the road, or whatsoever you like you can do. In your privacy there should be no rules. One should live a life of total freedom -- that is what Lao Tzu is. But where there are others your freedom can become a chaos, and chaos is not freedom. Where others are involved you have to follow certain rules. There is no need to get obsessed about them. There are people who get obsessed about rules.

I used to stay in Calcutta in one friend's house. He is a Justice of the High Court.

His wife told me once when he was not at home,'My husband follows you, reads you, loves you tremendously. It will be great compassion on me if you can tell him one thing to do.' I asked,'What is that one thing?' The woman said,'Tell him not to be a Justice in the bed. Even in the bed he remains a High Court Justice; he never comes out of the role.'

It is good to be a Justice in the court. It would be as wrong to be a husband in the court, as wrong as to be a Justice in the bed. In the court one has to be a Justice: this is what Confucianism means.

Confucius thinks about the relationship between people, the society, the world: etiquette, manners, the law. Confucius is like Moses or Manu: the law-giver. Lao Tzu brings love, freedom to the world. And it is good to move in these two polarities. Don't think that they divide you. They don't divide you. In fact, they give you more freedom, more flow, more possibilities, because if you remain Taoist, then you will have to move to the Himalayas some day or other. You cannot live in the society because wherever you go, there will be trouble. Either you will have to go to the Himalayas, or people will crucify you. That's what happened to Jesus.

One Christian bishop was saying to me,'Wherever Jesus went there was revolution, but wherever I go people serve tea!' Jesus was dangerous.

The proverb is of a very deep wisdom: there is no need to be continuously creating revolution wherever you go; there is no need to be constantly forcing people to make a cross for you. It will be wiser, sometimes it is good, if tea is served. To be an obsessed revolutionary is a disease. And to bring etiquette and manners back home so that you cannot even relax in your bathroom, that too is obsession.

The proverb is perfectly beautiful. I approve of it totally. Be a Confucian in the world, and in your innermost world be a Taoist, a follower of Lao Tzu. And there is no division! There is nothing wrong with it. You simply have a fluidity: when the other comes you follow the rules, because with the other, rules come; when you are alone there is no need for any rules. Without the other, rules disappear.

In your aloneness you are totally free, but whenever you are with somebody else you have a responsibility. The other is there and you have to be careful. That is part of love: to care about the other. So I don't see any dichotomy, and I don't see any dilemma. The dilemma is created if you have not understood the point. If you understand the point, there is no dilemma.

And the second thing:'Is society, even that of enlightened individuals or would-be enlightened individuals. by its very nature opposed to enlightenment?'

Yes, society, by its very nature, is opposed to enlightenment, because enlightenment is basically individual. It happens in your aloneness. When you are absolutely alone, only then does it happen. The other functions as a barrier.

The society is opposed to enlightenment and will always remain opposed, because the society is an organization. The society, even if it calls itself revolutionary, cannot be revolutionary. All societies are traditional, even the society of Mao. It may be a new tradition, that's all, but it is a tradition. The Russian society now is as traditional as any society.

Society cannot be revolutionary because the society has to settle, it has to have some type of establishment, it has to follow certain rules. Only the individual can be purely, innocently revolutionary, rebellious. There is no need for any organization and any structure. But once there is the other, organization comes in. Society can never be for enlightenment, because people who become enlightened go, in a certain way, beyond the society. They go beyond the rules; they start living their freedom. That will not happen if you follow the Chinese proverb. Then, the society will not be against enlightenment. It may not be for it, but it will not be against.

If you move in the world and follow the rules there, and in your aloneness you go into the unknown, then there is no problem. The problem arises when just in the middle of the road you start meditating, or you start dancing. Nothing is wrong with dancing; you have just chosen a wrong place. Dancing is perfectly good, but choose a right place for it. There is a right time and a right place for everything. Don't just stand in the middle of the road and create a nuisance. If one understands the proverb, there will be no trouble.

But society itself can never be for enlightenment, because enlightenment is basically individual. It happens to the individual, never to the society. You become enlightened, not the group, not the society. In fact, society is just a name for the collectivity, for the collective of individuals. There is no 'soul of society'; the soul is individual. The society is just the arrangement -- superficial. It is needed, necessary, but it is a necessary evil; it has to be tolerated. But society does not bother about whether you become enlightened or not. For society, Confucius is enough. For the individual, Confucius is not enough, Lao Tzu is needed. For society, Moses is enough. For the individual, Moses is not enough --

maybe necessary, but not enough -- Jesus is needed. And once you understand, you can create an inner synthesis of the two, and there is no problem.

In the TALMUD is said one of the most beautiful sentences ever uttered: One man outweighs all creation. Not only society, not only this earth, but,'One man outweighs ALL creation.' This is true, because one man can become a vehicle for the divine. One man can become the opportunity for God to exist, to be present, for God to express Himself. One man can become the flowering of the ultimate.

The society is utilitarian; one man outweighs all creation.

There is another sentence in the TALMUD: Wherever you come across a footprint of man, God stands before you: bow down. Wherever you come across a footprint, God stands before you -- the possibility.

Society is just a structure with no soul. The soul is of the individual. One individual outweighs all societies. And, one individual's revolution outweighs all revolutions in the whole of history, because one man can become the womb for God to be reborn.

The fifth question:

Question 5

THE CLOSER I COME, THE THIRSTIER I GET. WHEN IS THE QUENCHING

GOING TO START?

The very expectation will function as a barrier. You forget about the quenching; you simply be thirsty and enjoy it. When the thirst becomes total, it disappears.

I would like to read a few lines from T. S. Eliot: We shall not cease from exploration.

And the end of all our exploring

will be to arrive where we started,

and know the place for the first time;

when the tongues of flame are enfolded

into the crowned knot of fire

and the fire and the rose are one...

... and the thirst and the quenching are one; and the rose and the fire are one.

When the fire is total, suddenly it is transformed and there is only a rose, not the fire. When the thirst is total, its very totality changes its quality -- it becomes quenching; infinite contentment. The quenching is not something separate from thirst, remember it.

Thirst. Become so total that you disappear in your thirst; and then, the fire and the rose are one.

The last question:

Question 6

IF I LET GO I FEAR I AM GONE FOREVER.

You fear rightly: you WILL be gone forever; but you cannot escape now. The very fear shows that you cannot escape now. The VERY fear shows that you are understanding rightly: that you will disappear if you let go. But you are your misery, nothing else; you are your hell, nothing else. So how long can you cling to it? Sooner or later, you will have to let go.

I will tell you a story. The story is very old; the story is about King Midas.

Midas was hunting for the wise, for someone who could become his Master. He heard about a companion of Dionysus; the name of Dionysus' companion was Silenus. He searched, he searched long, and finally he caught him. But when he finally fell into his hands, the King asked,'What is the very best, the most preferable thing for man?'

The demon remained silent, stubborn and motionless, until he was finally compelled by the King, and then broke out into shrill laughter uttering these words:'Miserable, ephemeral species, children of chance and hardship; why do you compel me to tell you what is most profitable for you not to hear? The very best is quite unthinkable for you. It is: not to be born. It is impossible because you are already born. The very best is not to be born, not to exist, to be nothing. But the next best thing is: to die as soon as possible. The next best only is possible.'

Midas became very angry. He said,'I have come in search of life, not of death.'

Silenus said,'Nobody has ever come to know life until he dies.'

So I know your fear, I understand it, and the fear is perfectly true. It is not deceiving you, it is telling you the truth: that if you let go, you are gone forever.

But there arises a need, when one NEEDS to drop completely and die completely, because only then is there resurrection. When you die, something bigger than you will be born, and that is the search. Out of death comes life.

Allow death.

I understand your difficulty. In spite of your fear you will have to let go.

There was one very famous Zen Master, Tosan. A disciple asked him,'Master, what is Tao?'

The Master said,'A dragon singing in the dry wood.'

The disciple said,'I wonder whether there is anybody who can hear this.'

The Master said,'There is no one in the entire world who does not hear this.'

The disciple said,'I don't know what kind of composition the dragon's song is.'

The Master said,'I also do not know, but all who hear it lose themselves.'

Whatsoever I am singing is the song of that dragon in the dry wood. Whosoever hears me will disappear. Now it is up to you: either you hear me or you hear your fear, the fear that you have been hearing forever and ever. Through the fear you have lived up to now, and nothing has been attained. Your life is just an empty barrenness, a desert with not even a single oasis in it. You have listened too long to your fear; now don't be bothered by it. Say to it'Shut up!'; and in spite of it, move. You will disappear, but that is the only way to gain yourself. Says Jesus,'If you try to save your life you will lose it. If you lose it you will gain it in abundance, in eternity.'

Only the momentary is lost and the eternal is gained. Only the useless is lost and the ultimate is gained. Now it is for you to decide.

Either you decide for your fear, or you decide for my love.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #5

Chapter title: He Is At Hand

25 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

Matthew 26

36 THEN COMETH JESUS WITH THEM UNTO A PLACE CALLED

GETHSEMANE, AND SAITH UNTO THE DISCIPLES: SIT YE HERE, WHILE I GO AND PRAY YONDER.

37 AND HE TOOK WITH HIM PETER AND THE TWO SONS OF ZEBEDEE, AND BEGAN TO BE SORROWFUL AND VERY HEAVY.

38 THEN SAITH HE UNTO THEM: MY SOUL IS EXCEEDING SORROWFUL, EVEN UNTO DEATH. TARRY YE HERE, AND WATCH WITH ME.

39 AND HE WENT A LITTLE FARTHER, AND FELL ON HIS FACE, AND

PRAYED, SAYING: O MY FATHER, IF IT BE POSSIBLE, LET THIS CUP PASS

FROM ME. NEVERTHELESS NOT AS I WILL, BUT AS THOU WILT.

40 AND HE COMETH UNTO THE DISCIPLES, AND FINDETH THEM

ASLEEP, AND SAITH UNTO PETER: WHAT, COULD YE NOT WATCH WITH

ME ONE HOUR?

41 WATCH AND PRAY, THAT YE ENTER NOT INTO TEMPTATION. THE

SPIRIT INDEED IS WILLING, BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK.

42 HE WENT AWAY AGAIN THE SECOND TIME, AND PRAYED, SAYING: O

MY FATHER, IF THIS CUP MAY NOT PASS AWAY FROM ME, EXCEPT I DRINK IT, THY WILL BE DONE.

43 AND HE CAME AND FOUND THEM ASLEEP AGAIN, FOR THEIR EYES

WERE HEAVY.

44 AND HE LEFT THEM, AND WENT AWAY AGAIN, AND PRAYED THE

THIRD TIME, SAYING THE SAME WORDS.

45 THEN COMETH HE TO HIS DISCIPLES, AND SAITH UNTO THEM: SLEEP

ON NOW, AND TAKE YOUR REST. BEHOLD, THE HOUR IS AT HAND, AND

THE SON OF MAN IS BETRAYED INTO THE HANDS OF SINNERS.

46 RISE, LET US BE GOING. BEHOLD, HE IS AT HAND THAT DOTH BETRAY

ME.

We are the hollow men

We are the stuffed men

Leaning together

Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!

Our dried voices, when

We whisper together

Are quiet and meaningless

As wind in dry grass

Or rats' feet over broken glass

In our dry cellar.

Shape without form, shade without colour,

Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed

With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom

Remember us -- if at all -- not as lost

Violent souls, but only

As the hollow men

The stuffed men.

THESE lines from T.S. Eliot are very significant, tremendously meaningful. Man, in his ignorance, is just a negative emptiness; stuffed with straw, hollow within.

Just observe yourself. What have you gained in life? You may have lost much, but you have not gained anything. It is not only that your hands are empty, your whole being is empty. And empty not in the Buddhist sense: empty not in the sense of silence, empty not in the sense of fullness of being; but empty because the consciousness is lacking, empty because the awareness is missing. You are not a presence, you are an absence -- hollow within, stuffed with straw. That straw may be gold, it may be money; that straw may be power. A thousand and one are the names of that straw, but it is straw because it does not nourish the soul. It does not create the soul, it is destructive. At the most, it gives you a feeling of fullness, a very deceptive feeling.

These are the two ways to live: either to attain to true emptiness, a positive emptiness -- that is the way of meditation, prayer, the way that moves, by and by, towards God; the other way is just to go on stuffing yourself with useless, futile things, with no ultimate meaning in them. At the most, for the moment they keep you occupied. But sooner or later, one comeS to discover that one has missed the opportunity.

When Woodrow Wilson became the President of America, the whole family was celebrating. His friends all over the country were dancing in happiness, he was crying and weeping in his room. The wife approached. She could not believe her eyes because Woodrow Wilson was sitting on his chair near the window, head leaning downwards, as sad as he had ever been seen before, with tears rolling down. With deep love the wife asked the husband,'What has happened? Why are you crying and weeping?' Helooked up with sad eyes. He said,'Now that I have become the President of the most powerful country, now that I have become the most powerful man, I realize tremendously the whole absurdity of it. Nothing is gained, and I have wasted my whole life. Now I understand the futility of power, because sooner or later, death will be coming, and I am powerless against it.'

And if your power is powerless against death, then it is just a deception. Unless you attain to the deathless, your power is not power, it is a false coin.

And who can attain power against death? -- one who attains to true emptiness, positive emptiness. The other name for that emptiness is deep inner fulfillment.

You are not filled with straw, but you are filled with your own awareness. You are not filled with furniture: cars, houses, money, and other nonsense. You are just filled with your being, the sheer am-ness, the sheer existence. Then there is no death for you. This is the last night of Jesus with his disciples, and it is very meaningful, because he will not ever be seen again. I have told you before, and it will be good to remember it again, to be reminded, that Jesus is a bridge. He is man plus God. Buddha is sheer godliness; the man has disappeared completely.

You cannot conceive of Buddha being sorrowful, you cannot conceive of Buddha asking anything from God. Jesus is both; that is his paradox, and his beauty. He is a bridge between these two distant phenomena: man and God -- son of man and son of God. When Jesus is praying in these sutras, his son-ship is praying to his own father-ship. Christians have missed that point completely. It is not a prayer addressed to some God in heaven; his own two polarities are in deep dialogue: Jesus as son of man in deep dialogue, communion, with Jesus as son of God. This is an inner phenomenon. Let me read you the sutra.

THEN COMETH JESUS WITH THEM UNTO A PLACE CALLED

GETHSEMANE, AND SAITH UNTO THE DISCIPLES: SIT YE HERE, WHILE I GO AND PRAY YONDER.

These words:'Sit ye here', are exactly the meaning of what Zen people call zazen.

Zazen means: just sitting, doing nothing. When Jesus said,'Sit ye here,' he said to them:'You simply sit, don't do anything. Just remain alert, silent -- a silent pool with no ripples of thought, just sitting.' Zen people know the meaning of it, Christianity has completely forgotten. In Christianity, the very idea of just sitting has disappeared. Christian interpretations are there. They think Jesus is simply telling them to sit there. When a man like Jesus speaks, his words are not to be interpreted in an ordinary way. His language is not ordinary. The words may be ordinary, but his meaning never is. He is saying to his disciples,'Be in zazen.'

Let me explain to you what zazen is. Zazen is a deep unoccupiedness -- not doing anything outwardly, not doing anything inwardly. It is not even meditation because when you meditate you are making some sort of effort, you are trying to do something: chanting a mantra, remembering God, or even remembering yourself. But these efforts create ripples, these efforts create vibrations and your sitting becomes corrupted. Then your sitting is not innocent.

Zazen means: sit, and just sit, nothing else. There is no doing on the part of the body, no doing on the part of the mind. It's a state of non-doing. That does not mean that you are fast asleep, because sleep is a doing. That does not mean that you are dead, because if you are dead you cannot just sit. That simply means that you are tremendously alive, intensely alive, a fire of being, but not moving anywhere -- a reservoir of energy in a deep awaiting. You are just waiting for something to happen, not even expecting, because expectation will again create a ripple of thought and the mind will start functioning. Everything is suspended.

You breathe, and that's all that you do. But that is not a doing, because breathing goes on its own accord. You have not to do anything but just sit silently.

It is said about Bodhidharma that he sat for nine years facing the wall of his cave.

The story says that his legs withered away. Nine years sitting silently, not doing anything: he was not chanting a mantra, he was not remembering any God, he was not doing any prayer. He was just sitting, facing a wall. His legs withered away. It is very significant, because legs are symbolic of activity, of movement.

All movement disappeared. Whether his legs actually withered away or not is not the point. The point is that all movement disappeared. The consciousness became an unmoving reservoir of energy, just pure energy not going anywhere.

Then came his first disciple, because he would not accept any disciple unless he showed a tremendous intensity to follow. Hui Kujo came. It is said that he cut off his hand and offered it to Bodhidharma, and said,'Turn towards me, otherwise I will cut off my head.'

Bodhidharma had to turn. That was the first movement he had made in nine years. He said,'Wait -- so the man has come to whom I can deliver my message.'

Again it may or it may not be that the disciple offered his hand. Again, it is a symbol: hands mean activity. Legs mean movement, hands mean activity. With activity offered, only then is being revealed. Bodhidharma gave his message, his all, to this man who had symbolically shown that he was ready to lose activity.

When Jesus said to his disciples,'Sit ye here,' he meant zazen: that,'You simply sit and wait, because a tremendous event is on the way. Something is going to happen that I will never be repeated again in the whole history of man.

Something unrepeatable, something unique is on the way. You wait, sit, and watch. Don't make any movement, because even a slight movement of thought, emotion, body, and you may miss the point. The son of man is going to be delivered to God. The son of man is going to disappear, and the son of God is going to appear. The greatest event ever is going to happen: sit ye here.'

And the word 'here' is also very, very meaningful.'Sitting' shows: don't move in space, and 'here' shows: don't move in time. Just be here, now -- no movement in space, no movement in time. It would have been easier for the disciples --

because it was late and they were tired of the whole day's celebration, activities, and they would have liked to fall asleep -- it would have been easier if they had been allowed to walk around. They would have kept awake. But Jesus said,'Sit.

SIT HERE, don't walk around. Don't move in space and don't move in time.'

The body moves in space; mind moves in time. Body is part of space, mind is part of time. Jesus says,'Sit -- here.' By sitting, you stop the movement in space; by being here, just being here, you stop the movement of mind. This is the whole meaning of zazen. If it can be rightly interpreted, Jesus said to his disciples: Do zazen...

... WHILE L GO AND PRAY YONDER.

Jesus is going to pray; prayer is a bridge. The son is going to pray to the Father; the lower is going to pray to the higher; the earth is going to pray to the sky; the seed is going to pray to the tree, to the future.

Prayer is love.

Jesus says,'I am going to offer myself to my God. Sit silently, watchful, alert' -- as watchful as the beloved awaits the lover, as alert. If anything moves, she suspects that maybe the lover has come; these may be the footsteps of the lover.... She runs to the door. It may be just a wind passing by, it may be just wind playing with the dry leaves on the street, it may be just a beggar, it may be just a stranger, but a beloved remains alert, watchful, waiting -- passionately, intensely focused.

Jesus says,'Watch ye, sit here. I am going to pray.'

When a man like Jesus prays, God answers. If your prayers have not been answered, don't complain. It simply shows that you have not prayed. If your prayers have not been answered, it simply shows that you have done something else, not prayer. Prayer is a total, unconditional offering, saying,'I am yours. Thy will be done.' Jesus is going to pray. When Jesus goes to pray, the earth is going to meet the sky. If the disciples can be silently watchful, they will become witnesses to the greatest event, to a tremendous event: the sky coming down to meet the earth, the God descending to meet the son. A great phenomenon within Jesus' heart is going to happen: the polarities are going to become one, the opposites are going to meet. Rightly he said to his disciples,'Sit ye here while I go and pray yonder.'

One more thing, and then we can move on.

A meditation is just sitting. A meditation is just being where you are. Prayer is a going, meditation is a sitting. In prayer you extend your being. In prayer you rise like high waves in the ocean to touch the beyond. In meditation you simply wait.

Meditation is passive, prayer is not; prayer is active. In meditation, you simply open the doors of your heart and you wait. In prayer that is not enough -- you open the doors and you run towards the height. That's why Jesus says,'While I GO and pray yonder. You meditate while I pray.'

When a Master is praying, if the disciples can simply wait and meditate, much will happen to them. Because, when the love of the whole descends on the Master, it will naturally shower on the disciples also. Only a Master can pray; a disciple can only meditate. Because prayer is possible when you have known what God is. Prayer is possible when you have known the whole. Meditation is possible without knowing anything about God. In fact, for meditation, God is not needed. That's why the religions which are based on meditation are atheistic: Jainism and Buddhism are both atheistic; they don't believe in any God. There is no need. They are meditative religions: they simply sit and wait. Whenever they are ready, God comes. The religions of prayer: Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, don't just sit, they RUN towards God. They move. You can think of Buddhism or Jainism as a silent ocean with no ripples, no waves. You can think of Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, as the ocean in high tide -- great waves rising to meet the sky.

Prayer is different from meditation: meditation is passivity, prayer is activity.

That's why Buddhism and Jainism teach renunciation, moving away from activity. Christianity teaches service, moving into the marketplace, going to seek and search God. But only a Master can pray, because love is possible only when you know the other. How can you call God? -- you don't know. How can you call Him 'thou'? -- you don't know. At the most, He remains a hypothesis, and a hypothesis cannot be called 'thou'. At the most it will remain 'it'; it can never become a 'thou'. It can be used, but cannot be loved. Nobody can love a mathematical theorem. Nobody can love the greatest formula there is, the Einsteinian formula: E = MC2. How can you love it? How can you call this formula 'thou'? How can you bow down before it? How can tears go on flowing from your eyes; how can you dance around it? Maybe the formula is very great, explains much, but an explanation cannot be worshipped. God, when known, is touched as you touch your beloved, kissed as you kiss your beloved, looked deep into the eyes of as you look deep into the eyes of your beloved. Unless God comes to you like a lover, prayer is not possible. Your prayer will be false.

But a Master can pray. When he is praying the sky descends over him, surrounds him, touches him from all over, from all dimensions. And if the disciples are just there, sitting silently in deep zazen, meditating, their hearts will be thrilled. The unknown will touch them also, the unknown will penetrate their beings also.

Because when it rains, when God rains, it does not rain like a miser. When God rains, it rains tremendously; it fills the whole earth. Even one Jesus prays, and God rains and fills the whole earth. Wherever people are waiting silently, meditating, suddenly they will be full of Him. Then prayer becomes possible, not before it. A real touch is needed, a contact is needed. God has to be touched, one has to be touched by God; only then, trust arises.

Meditation does not need God. You can discard the hypothesis and meditate. If you go on meditating, then one day God will fill your heart. But if you have a Master who can pray on your behalf, who can pray for you, who can simply pray, you will gain much of which you were not yet worthy.

It is the last night, Jesus is going to leave the next day. He would like to give them a gift, a gift of God. He said to them,'Sit ye here while I go and pray yonder.' He wants to go into deep isolation, alone, because even the presence of the disciples can be a disturbance. Meditation can be done in a group. Prayer is such an intimate phenomenon; it is a meeting of two lovers. Nobody should be a witness to it, nobody should be a bystander to it, nobody should observe it.

Otherwise, the very fact that somebody is there will become a jarring note.

Prayer is always in the alone.

And look at the foolishness: people meditate alone, and pray together.

Meditators move into loneliness, and when you want to pray you go to the church, you go to the temple and you pray together. Prayer has to be in absolute aloneness, because prayer is love. Meditation can be done in a group: it is a technique. In fact, if you meditate in a group, you will meditate deeply because the group helps, enhances. It fosters confidence. A group mind is created, a great wave of group consciousness is created and you simply move on the wave.

But to pray is to love. One should pray as one loves. You cannot make love in a marketplace. In the West it is happening, and because of it love is losing all meaning. It needs privacy, it needs intimacy. In the West now, love has become a public affair. In a public garden you can find lovers in deep embrace, even making love publicly. This is profane; something sacred is being destroyed.

Something very intimate is being made public, corrupted. The innocence will be lost.

Love needs intimacy, love needs darkness. In fact, love needs so much aloneness that women always close their eyes while love is made to them. Even the presence of the lover, to see the lover, is a disturbance. They close their eyes, they are totally alone. Even the lover is not to be seen, otherwise the other will be there, and the presence of the other is always a tension. When the other is completely forgotten, when deep in darkness the other is lost, then love arises to its highest peak, to the greatest orgasm.

Remember this: Jesus was trying to give them his last gift; but the gift was invisible, and the gift was such that nothing could be said about it. Only those who were capable would receive it, and those who were not capable would miss it.

THEN COMETH JESUS WITH THEM UNTO A PLACE CALLED

GETHSEMANE, AND SAITH UNTO THE DISCIPLES: SIT YE HERE, WHILE I GO AND PRAY YONDER. AND HE TOOK WITH HIM PETER AND THE TWO

SONS OF ZEBEDEE, AND BEGAN TO BE SORROWFUL AND VERY HEAVY.

Three disciples he took with him. These three disciples were as if they were not.

They had lost their egos; they could be allowed to be there. Their presence would not be a jarring note because they had no presence of their own. They were like shadows of Jesus, part of his being.

... AND BEGAN TO BE SORROWFUL AND VERY HEAVY.

This is the beauty of Jesus, that he can be sorrowful. A Buddha cannot be. Jesus is more flowing; he can comprehend the opposites.

I have heard about one great Zen Master, Lin Chi. Somebody asked,'You have become enlightened. Tell us something: what has happened to you after enlightenment?'

He laughed and he said,'I was miserable before enlightenment. Enlightenment has happened, and I am miserable yet.'

It is very difficult to understand what he means to say. He is saying that enlightenment is not going to destroy the polarity. Rather, on the contrary, enlightenment is going to create a higher synthesis of the paradox, of the polarity. It is not that an enlightened man does not become sad, but that he becomes sad in a different way. His sadness has a totally different quality to it.

His sadness is happier than your happiness. His sadness has a depth, his sadness has a beauty -- a silent song without any sounds.

... AND BEGAN TO BE SORROWFUL AND VERY HEAVY.

This is the son of man who began to be sorrowful, because soon this shore had to be left. The ship had arrived, and no more would he be here. But why is he sorrowful? -- because he is son of man, he belongs to this earth also. He is not only the sky. He would have to leave this earth, and he had loved this earth also, he had loved this body also. His love was great enough to comprehend all. He had enjoyed a thousand and one enjoyments. He delighted here; he was not an ascetic. He was celebrating life here; and now, no more of that celebration, no more of that delight. No more would he again be able to sing that song of the earth. Jesus was a very earth-rooted man.

THEN SAITH HE UNTO THEM: MY SOUL IS EXCEEDING SORROWFUL, EVEN UNTO DEATH. TARRY YE HERE, AND WATCH WITH ME.

To these three disciples he said,'My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, my cup of sorrow is overflowing.' He is like a river that is going to fall into the ocean. The river hesitates; it looks backwards -- all those beautiful terrains, those beautiful Himalayas far off, those glaciers, those peaks: the trees, the forest, the banks, the people -- millions of experiences. Now, within a minute, everything would be ended. The river wants to linger a little on the verge before falling into the ocean and disappearing. The river hesitates. The speed slows down; it looks backwards, full of nostalgia. This is what was happening to Jesus. He had lived, and he lived profoundly. His true life has not been said, because Christians are afraid. They have made an ascetic out of him. He was not. He loved eating, he loved wine, he loved women; he loved the small joys of life. He was a man very much of this earth, plus. The earth was not denied, the earth was made holy in him. The earth was not rejected, the earth was celebrated as a gift of God.

Buddha is different. He would not look when his river was going to fall, he would not look backwards. In fact, his speed would be increased: this is the ocean for which he had been waiting and longing. He would really jump into the ocean. He would not even give a 'thank you' to the earth.

Jesus is different; their personalities are different. And it is good that life produces different types of buddhas. Life is richer for it -- so many types of flowers with such different fragrances. Life is not monotonous. Life does not produce buddhas as a Ford factory produces Ford cars. Each buddha is unique.

Buddha has his own beauty, the beauty of the sky. Epicurus has his own beauty, the beauty of the earth. And Jesus is something: Epicurus plus Buddha -- the beauty of this earth and of that sky -- a great synthesis, an infinite harmony.

MY SOUL IS EXCEEDING SORROWFUL, -- EVEN UNTO DEATH. TARRY YE

HERE, AND WATCH WITH ME.

He had left the other disciples a little behind. He told them to sit quietly, to be in zazen, to meditate. He had brought the closest ones near him, and he said to them,'Tarry ye here, and watch with me' -- move around near me, and be watchful. Why this difference? Why could he not bring all of the disciples close?

Only those can be allowed to be very close who have almost disappeared. They will not be a disturbance.'Tarry ye here, and watch with me' -- something tremendous is on the way; be watchful.

AND HE WENT A LITTLE FARTHER, AND FELL ON HIS FACE... the earth that he loved too much. He fell on the earth... AND PRAYED, SAYING: O MY

FATHER, IF IT BE POSSIBLE, LET THIS CUP PASS FROM ME.

This is the son of man, the helpless man, the helpless earth, the earth speaking to the sky,'Oh Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.' Jesus would have liked to live a little longer. Jesus would not have liked to leave this earth so soon; he loved it.

NEVERTHELESS, NOT AS I WILL, BUT AS THOU WILT.

These two trends are continuously in him. The earth part says,'If it be possible, oh my God, oh my Father, let this cup pass from me. Don't force me to fall into the ocean so soon.' But the other part, the son of God, the other polarity of his being, says,'Nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.'

AND HE COMETH UNTO THE DISCIPLES AND FINDETH THEM ASLEEP, AND SAITH UNTO PETER: WHAT, COULD YE NOT WATCH WITH ME ONE

HOUR? -- because when he prayed, the earth and the sky met. When he prayed, the son and the God met. When he prayed, a great symphony arose within him where the son of man was no more separate from the son of God. His body and soul danced together in a mysterious harmony.

AND HE COMETH UNTO THE DISCIPLES AND FINDETH THEM

ASLEEP...

They missed.

There are gifts which cannot be given to you until you are ready to receive them.

There are gifts which can be given to you whether you are ready to receive them or not, and those are the gifts of the world. There are gifts which can be given to you only when you are ready to receive them -- those are the gifts of the invisible, of the other world, of the other shore. Jesus created a situation, but the disciples missed.

... AND FINDETH THEM ASLEEP, AND SAITH UNTO PETER: WHAT, COULD YE NOT WATCH WITH ME ONE HOUR? -- is sleep that important?

Could you not remain alert and aware for only one hour? WATCH AND PRAY, THAT YE ENTER NOT INTO TEMPTATION. THE SPIRIT INDEED IS

WILLING, BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK. He said to them again... the compassion of a Master is infinite! You go on missing, and he goes on giving to you.

WATCH AND PRAY, THAT YE ENTER NOT INTO TEMPTATION. THE

SPIRIT INDEED IS WILLING, BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK. Deep down, who is not willing? But on the surface is the problem. Deep down, you would like to attain to truth, but the surface, the flesh, is unwilling.

HE WENT AWAY AGAIN THE SECOND TIME, AND PRAYED, SAYING: O

MY FATHER, IF THIS CUP MAY NOT PASS AWAY FROM ME, EXCEPT I DRINK IT, THY WILL BE DONE.

Again he said the same prayer. Why did Jesus repeat these prayers? It was not for himself. For himself, once was enough. Twice, thrice he repeated them, for the disciples. He was trying to transfer the key. He was ready to give them the greatest science, the science of how to get out of their imprisonments. But they wouldn't listen, they wouldn't understand. They thought,'One hour's sleep is far better than being alert.'

And remember, this is the case with you, and with everybody. You can miss a meditation just because in the morning you are feeling a little too lazy and too sleepy. And who knows? -- that meditation could have been a conversion.

Nobody knows. You may have missed something, and you will never become aware that you missed. Your sleep is really deep. You live an almost unconscious life.

I will tell you one story I was reading.

A lion was captured and placed in a large yard surrounded by a high fence. He soon became acquainted with the social life of the other lions who had been there a long time. The lions had divided themselves into several clubs: political, religious, and others, each with its own activities, philosophies, dogmas, scriptures, ideologies. One group met regularly to hate and slander the captors, that was their whole activity -- as if just by hating and slandering the captors something was going to happen. Another group met to sing sentimentally about a future jungle having no fences. They must have been utopian, imaginary people who live in fantasy. They depicted a future jungle with no fences, in beautiful colors, and they sang about it in as beautiful poetry as possible. They must have been very romantic, utopian, imaginary people. And a third group met to secretly plan violence against the other groups, to plot violence against the other groups. Those were the conspirators; they were not so much against the captors as they were against the other groups of lions.

Each club tried to pressure the newcomer into joining, but something held him back. His hesitation was caused by observing one particular lion who kept to himself, and who seemed always to be in deep thought and meditation. And this lion who used to be alone, a loner, attracted the newcomer. He had some quality of magnetism around him: a certain power, a certain magic. The newcomer shyly approached the solitary lion and requested an explanation of his apartness. The very apartness must have given him a quality of charisma, a glow around him.

Because people who live in crowds lose their individuality and their charisma; people who live alone always gather around them an aura of authority, of majesty. This loner looked like a king. He had something of the imperial in him.

'Join nothing!' replied the lion, the meditator.'These foolish creatures do everything but the necessary. I am doing what is essential, so one day I will be out of here. You are welcome to all the facts I have uncovered.'

'But what is this necessary thing that you are doing?' asked the newcomer.

'Listen carefully,' said the loner, the meditator lion.'I am studying the nature of the fence. That is the only essential thing to do in life: to understand the nature of the fence.'

Where is your fence? Where are the walls of your prison? -- in your sleep, in your unconsciousness, in your behavior like a robot's. That's what Jesus was trying to show his disciples that night:'If you can be alert, you will be free.' Awareness is freedom, sleepiness is bondage. But even on that last night, the night of departure -- and these disciples will repent for centuries, and in their repentance they will worship Jesus, and they will create millions of churches for him -- when he was alive and he was departing, they were not even able to do that much for his sake: to be alert and watchful for a few hours.

AND HE CAME AND FOUND THEM ASLEEP AGAIN, FOR THEIR EYES

WERE HEAVY. AND HE LEFT THEM., AND WENT AWAY AGAIN, AND

PRAYED THE THIRD TIME, SAYING THE SAME WORDS.

Why did he do it the third time? He didn't wake them the third time; the compassion of a Master is infinite. He understood that it was impossible for them to be awake, so he tried to pray:'Let it be so, that they are fast asleep. But if God showers, even in their unconsciousness some seed may fall, even in their sleep they may hear something. Even fast asleep they may come to know something that they are unaware of; they may carry some quality.' Much would have been possible if they had been aware and alert, but that seemed impossible. He had tried twice. The hours were passing fast; soon he would be betrayed, caught and killed:'No time is to be lost. Let them sleep.'

Many times, the same happens: here, I go on looking into your faces; you seem to be listening to me, but you rarely listen. You are more or less asleep. But I go on; I go on calling you, provoking you. Maybe even if a word falls deep down into you, even while you are asleep, that seed will some -- day bring fruit. Much would have been possible, much was available, but you were not present.

Just the other day I was telling you that Buddha gave his flower to Mahakashyap, Jesus gave bread and wine to his disciples. And I told you that Buddha chose a flower because a flower is the most unearthly thing on the earth.

So elusive is the beauty of the flower. In the morning it is there; by the evening, gone. It looks like a dream; it does not look material. It can be crushed, destroyed so easily; it gives no resistance. How it exists is a miracle. A rose flower -- how does it exist in this world of stones and rocks? It is a miracle; it is something from the beyond. Buddha chose the flower. Jesus chooses bread -- very ordinary, common; and wine, even more earthly. It is good, because he loved the earth. But there is one thing that I must tell you: when Buddha gave the flower to Mahakashyap, the flower was received in perfect awareness. When Buddha gave the flower, Mahakashyap was totally alert and aware. But when Jesus gave the bread and the wine, to whom did he give them? They were not like Mahakashyap; they were not so aware. It was given to them out of Jesus'

compassion. When Buddha gave to Mahakashyap, Mahakashyap had earned it; it was not simply out of Buddha's compassion. Of course the compassion was there, but Mahakashyap had earned it. He was ready to receive it.

In Jesus' case, there is only compassion, pure compassion. Those disciples were not yet ready. But the time had come for Jesus to leave; he gave them something they would become aware of only after many lives. He gave them the key to a treasure. They might not open it for lives, but the key would remain with them in their unconscious. Some day, whenever they become alert, they will be able to use the key.

It is said by Zen people that whatsoever was given to Mahakashyap was beyond scripture, beyond words, beyond knowledge. Let it be said about Jesus also: that whatsoever he gave was not only beyond scripture and beyond words, it was also beyond consciousness. He gave to them in their unconsciousness. They were asleep, and his time had come. He simply gave the key, closed their fists, and withdrew to his eternal home. Some day, whenever their morning comes and they open their eyes, they will find the key in their hands.

AND HE LEFT THEM, AND WENT AWAY AGAIN, AND PRAYED THE

THIRD TIME, SAYING THE SAME WORDS. THEN COMETH HE TO HIS

DISCIPLES, AND SAITH UNTO THEM: SLEEP ON NOW -- now you can sleep as much as you like, because the moment has been missed. Now you cannot miss anything by sleeping -- AND TAKE YOUR REST. BEHOLD, THE HOUR IS AT

HAND, AND THE SON OF MAN IS BETRAYED INTO THE HANDS OF

SINNERS. RISE, LET US BE GOING. BEHOLD, HE IS AT HAND THAT DOTH

BETRAY ME.

The crowd was approaching with Judas leading it. In the dark night their footsteps could be heard, their torches could be seen. And Jesus said -- he must have said it in deep sadness -- 'Sleep on now, take your rest'; because one who was disturbing your sleep now has to be moving. The one who was trying to disturb your dreams, and your sleep, and your rest, has been betrayed, and the enemy is approaching.'RISE, LET US BE GOING. BEHOLD, HE IS AT HAND

THAT DOTH BETRAY ME.'

This sentence is very pregnant. Jesus could have waited there; the enemy was approaching. But the story says that he walked towards the enemy to meet them.

It is symbolic of one who knows that death is not going to destroy. It is also symbolic of one who welcomes death, who goes to meet it. It is symbolic that Jesus accepts whatsoever is God's will. He has surrendered. The earth has surrendered to the sky; the body has surrendered to the soul; the son of man has surrendered to the son of God.

RISE, LET US BE GOING. BEHOLD, HE IS AT HAND THAT DOTH BETRAY

ME.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #6

Chapter title: Happiness is that which Happens 26 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

The first question:

Question 1

OSHO: L DON'T WANT TO BE THIS, I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT; I DON'T

WANT TO BE HERE, I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE; I DON'T WANT TO LIVE, I DON'T WANT TO DIE; I DON'T WANT TO CRY, I DON'T WANT TO

LAUGH; I CAN'T BE PASSIVE, I CAN'T BE ACTIVE; I CAN'T WILL AND I CAN'T SURRENDER.

SO.... then just be in between.

And this is not a question of one person, this is the state of all minds. The mind cannot be this and cannot be that. The mind does not want to be defined, does not want to be static, does not want to be confined; so whenever you want to try to be this, the mind starts working to be that. It goes on moving in the polarities.

Mind is a movement; it is a constant movement.

So what can be done? -- don't try to be this or that; just be in between. If you can be in between, you transcend mind. Just watch, be a witness. Don't to to do anything; just observe mind going from A to B, from B to A again; mind moving from one side to the other like a pendulum of an old clock: from left to right, from right to left.

Have you watched a pendulum? When it is going to the left, it is gathering momentum to go to the right. On the surface it is going to the left; deep inside, it is gathering momentum to go to the opposite pole. When it is going to the right it is being prepared to go to the left.

When you love a person through the mind, you are already getting ready to hate him. There is a poem by D. H. Lawrence in which he says,'The moment I say to my beloved'I love you', I have already started hating her. The moment I say to my beloved'I will be forever and forever with you', I have already departed.' The divorce is on the way. In the very moment you are getting married, divorce is on the way.

This is the way of the mind, how the mind functions. Just try to understand the functioning of the mind, otherwise you will always be in chaos, confusion, in a sort of insanity. Become a watcher. Get out of the traffic of the mind, stand by the side of the road and just see. And when I say just see, I mean don't evaluate, don't judge. Don't say,'This is good, that is wrong.' Once you say,'This is good,'

you are no more a witness: you have jumped into the river; you are already identified, you are already in trouble. Just stand by the side of the road, or, sit on the bank of a river and let the river flow wherever it goes. You are not concerned; it is none of your business. Unconcerned, indifferent, just watching, you will suddenly be in between: neither this nor that. That in between point is the point of transcendence. Suddenly, the mind disappears with all its traffic. You are left alone, alone in tremendous purity, alone in absolute innocence, alone with no movement -- silent, eternal -- not going anywhere, just being here. You are not trying to become someone, something, this or that -- just being yourself. And to be yourself is to be divine. To be yourself is to meditate. To be yourself is all that religion is about. This is what I'm teaching here.

I'm not teaching you a particular pattern of life. I'm not giving you a style of life.

At the most, I'm trying to give you a vision, a clarity, an understanding. I'm not trying to give you a character: moral or immoral, good or bad. I'm not giving you a philosophy to live by, I'm simply giving you an insight into yourself. Then, no philosophy is needed, no pattern is needed. Then, you can just be yourself with no condemnation, with no evaluation. And that purity of being oneself, that beauty of being oneself transcends all that you can desire, transcends all that you can even conceive of, transcends all that you can eve imagine or dream about.

Just a glimpse of it, and you will never be the same again.

So, this is not a question from somebody in particular. Krishna Radha has asked it, but it is not only her question; it is everybody's question. It is one of the most basic, essential questions of all human beings, of all those who are trapped in the mind. And there is only one way out of the trap: that you don't choose; neither this nor that -- you simply don't choose. You withdraw from choice and you become choiceless. Choicelessness is freedom. To choose is to choose a prison; to choose is to choose a bondage. To choose is wrong, to be choiceless is to be right.

The second question:

Question 2

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE? -- I'M AFRAID WHEN I FEEL YOUR LOVE DEEP

INSIDE ME.

Love always creates fear because love is death, a greater death than the ordinary death you know of.

In an ordinary death the body dies, but that is not death at all. Body is just like a dress: when it is tatty and old you change for a new one. It is not death, it is just a change: a change of a dress, or a change of a house or abode. But you continue, the mind continues -- just the same old mind in new bodies, just the same old wine in new bottles. The form changes but not the mind, the shape changes but not the mind. So the ordinary death is not a real death; love is a real death: the body does not die but the mind dies, the body continues to be the same but the ego disappears.

If you love, you will have to drop all the conceptions that you have about yourself. If you love, you CANNOT be the ego because the ego will not allow love. They are antagonistic. If you choose the ego you will not be able to choose love. If you choose love you will have to drop the ego. Hence, the fear.

A greater fear than death grips you whenever you are in love. That's why love has disappeared from the world. Rarely, very rarely does the phenomenon happen that love descends. What you call love is just a false coin: you have invented it because it is so difficult to live without love. It is difficult because without love, life carries no meaning; it is meaningless. Without love, life has no poetry in it. Without love, the tree exists but never flowers. Without love, you cannot dance, you cannot celebrate, you cannot feel grateful, you cannot pray.

Without love, temples are just ordinary houses; with love an ordinary house is transformed, transfigured into a temple. Without love you remain just possibilities -- empty gestures. With love, for the first time you become substantial. With love, for the first time, the soul arises in you. The ego drops but the soul arises.

It is impossible to live without love, so humanity has created a trick. Humanity has invented a trick, a device. The device is: to live in a false love so that the ego continues on its own. Nothing is changed and you can play the game of being in love: you can go on thinking that you love, you can go on believing that you love. But look at your love -- what happens out of it? -- nothing except misery, nothing except hell, nothing except conflict, quarrel, violence. Look deeply into your love relationships. They are more akin to hate relationships than to love.It is better to call them hate relationships than to call them love relationships. But because everybody is living in the same way, you never become aware.

Everybody is carrying the false coin; you never become aware. The real coin of love is Very costly: you can purchase it only at the cost of losing yourself. There is no other way.

So the question is perfectly relevant. It is from one that I know. I know her love towards me, I know her deep possibilities. She is just on the brink. Any moment the ego can collapse, but she is somehow holding herself together. She will not be able to for long though; she will have to collapse. Hence, the fear.

'How is it possible?' she asks.'I'm afraid when I feel your love deep inside me.'

She thinks it is a sort of contradiction: if she loves so much, then why this fear?

And I tell you, the fear is there because she loves so much. There is no contradiction in it. It is an absolutely consistent thing -- whenever you love you are afraid. Moving towards love is moving towards an abyss. One starts wavering, one feels dizzy. Go to a height in the Himalayas and look down at the valley; that valley is no-thing. When you look down at the valley of love, a TREMENDOUS fear grips you. You are almost paralyzed: you cannot run away, you cannot take the jump. You simply tremble in infinite fear. What to do? Going back is not possible because love attracts: love calls your depth, love calls your future, love calls your potentiality; love gives you a glimpse of what you can be.

You cannot run away from it, and you cannot jump because the cost is too high.

You will have to drop yourself -- all that you have been thinking yourself to be --

the image, the past, the identity.

But I tell you, the cost only seems to be too much BEFORE the jump. Once you take the jump... then you will know that whatsoever you have given up is nothing, and what you have attained is INFINITELY valuable. Let me tell you a paradox: love demands that you drop that which you don't have, and love offers you that which you already have. Love wants you to get rid of that which you don't have.

The ego is a false entity, just a notion, a cloud in the sky of your being; just smoke, nothing substantial; a dream. Love requires you to drop that which you don't have, and love is ready to give you that which you have and have always had. Love gives you your self back; the ego goes on hiding you from your self, love reveals you to your self. But the fear is there. The fear is natural, and one has to go in spite of the fear.

Be courageous, don't be cowards. The real mettle of your being is tested only when love arises. Never before it do you know of what mettle you are made. In ordinary life, in the marketplace, doing this and that, in the world of ambition and power politics, your real mettle is never really tested. You never pass through the fire.

Love is the fire.

If you are really gold you will survive it. If you are not real gold, you will be gone. But I tell you that you are real gold.

Trust me -- pass through the fire. Hesitation is natural, but don't make hesitation a barrier. Even with the hesitation, pass through it. In spite of the fear pass through the fire. And only through the fire will the rose of your consciousness flower. There is no other way.

The third question:

Question 3

IT SEEMS THAT NOTHING EVER REALLY DROPS AWAY. SUDDENLY IT IS

GONE, BUT JUST AS SUDDENLY IT IS BACK AGAIN. IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A MAGIC TRICK.

... A very meaningful question, with tremendous implications for understanding.

Let us move into it very slowly.

Yes, this is so: nothing ever really drops away. Nothing ever really drops away; suddenly it is gone, and as suddenly as it left, in the same way, at any moment, suddenly it is back again. Why is it so? -- because you have never tried to understand the nature of human consciousness. The nature of human consciousness is absolute freedom. When I say absolute freedom, I mean you are free at any moment to be whatsoever you decide. Nothing holds itself against you. You may have been a saint up to now. You may have lived in celibacy up to now. This very moment you can change: you can throw away your celibacy i you can fall in love with a woman or a man. Because you have been celibate in the past does not, CANNOT become a bondage. You remain free. If you want to be celibate in this moment also, you can be. But remember that it is not because of the past, it is again a fresh decision. You have to go on making your decision again and again and again, reviving it again and again and again. At any moment you can drop it.

Existentialists are true. They say: existence precedes essence. It is a very pregnant sentence. Let me repeat it: existence precedes essence.

A man is born; he is pure freedom. He has no essence, only existence. Then he will choose his essence, whom he is going to be -- and it will be his choice. He can be a saint, he can be a sinner; he can be a criminal, he can be a murderer, or he can ke a martyr. He brings pure existence into the world -- a blank sheet, a pure canvas. What colors he is going to use, and what sort of painting he is going to make of his life, is totally up to him. He does not bring a character. He simply brings a potentiality, pure potentiality. And this pure potentiality always remains pure; you cannot corrupt it. You become a saint: that means you decide that to be a saint is going to be your essence. But this is your decision, and if you want to keep it up to the very end of your life, every morning, in fact, every minute of your existence, you will have to decide again and again and vote for it.

Any moment you stop deciding, any moment you say,'Enough is enough, now I want to change,' nobody is barring the path. You can cancel your whole past in a single moment, because that past was your decision, nobody else's. It is not like a destiny forced from above, from outside. It is your own inner decision. You can change it.

That's why nothing ever disappears. You can become a sinner, but tomorrow you may again change. You can again take the vow of a Catholic priest and become a priest again, become celibate. Try to understand this.. This has tremendous implications for your life.

Don't throw the responsibility on anybody else. Nobody else is a deciding factor, neither your mother nor your father. Whatsoever the psychoanalysts say is really irrelevant to your being. It is for you to decide. Even the people who are mad are mad because of their own decision. Somehow they found it to be convenient.

Somehow they decided; they voted for it. Nobody has forced them. Nobody can force anybody because the innermost quality of being is freedom. It is not something accidental; it is your very nature.

You have been smoking up to now. For thirty years you may have been a chain smoker and you come to me and you ask,'What to do? How to stop?' You are asking a wrong question. In fact, you don't want to stop. Go deep into your own mind: you don't want to stop; you are playing a game. You don't want to stop but you want to;show people that you want to stop. Or, this very idea that you want to stop gives you a very, very good image about yourself. Then you go on saying,'What can I do? It has become such a long habit; I cannot stop, though I want to stop.' This is simple, sheer foolishness and stupidity. You are not deceiving anybody except yourself. If you really want to Stop, there is no need to do anything about it. The very decision that you want to stop is enough: the half-smoked cigarette in your hand will drop of its own accord. But you remain free.

That does not mean that again tomorrow you cannot take it up. You remain free; nobody can bind you. Again tomorrow you can take it up. Then please, don't start saying that it is because of old habit:'I tried my best, and I had stopped, and for twenty-four hours I didn't smoke. But because of a thirty-year-old habit, I am again taking it up. The urge is too much.'

Do not try to befool anybody. There is nothing like that; you are again deciding.

If you are deciding, then it is okay. You can find a thousand and one ways to decide again. But remember always, it is your decision, yours and nobody else's; and you remain free. That's why it happens that nothing seems to disappear forever. It comes again and again -- because you again invoke it to come, you again call it to come. I have heard: Mulla Nasrudin had once decided that he would never touch any alcoholic thing again in his life any intoxicant. And he was a drunkard. So just to test his own will-power, he walked on the path where the pub was. Just in front of the pub, he looked at the pub in avery proud way and said to himself,'I have decided that nothing can attract me and nothing can force me to g astray'; and he heartily walked a hundred feet away. Then he patted his own back and he said,'Nasrudin, you are great. Now I will treat you, come to the pub.' And on that day he drank twice.

Don't play games with yourself. It is your freedom, but freedom is very dangerous because it does not leave any corner for you to hide in. You cannot throw responsibility on anybody else. Simply and absolutely, you are responsible. Just watch and see the fact of it, and truth liberates.

If you can see this, then whether you decide to smoke or drink does not matter.

Whether you decide to drop it does not matter. The only thing that matters is to be always mindful of your freedom. If you are not aware of that then this will happen: you will feel that nothing ever really drops away. It comes again and again, and of course it comes worse than ever. It comes with a vengeance.

But don't think of yourself as a victim; you are not. Try what I am saying, just watch what I am saying. Smoking... let there be a decision that you are not going to smoke. Let the cigarette drop from your fingers, and then watch. Just go on observing. Whenever you again want to smoke, don't say that it is because of old habit.,It is again a fresh decision, not an old habit. You go on throwing the responsibility on the old habit to save your own face. Please don't do that. Say that,'Now I have decided to smoke again.' Nobody is barring you; it is your decision. You can cancel, or you can vote for it again. But always insist that it is a fresh decision, and you will never be in the grip of so-called habits, so-called mechanical habits. You will feel a free man. Smoking or not smoking is immaterial; to feel a free man is very significant. Nothing is more significant than that. And I am here to make you aware of your freedom. If you go to the so-called saints, they will make you aware of your mechanicalness: that is the difference. They will make you aware of your mechanicalness, and they will create a new mechanicalness in you. They will say,'You have been smoking for thirty years? Now take a vow that you will never smoke again.' Old habit is there; now they are telling you to create a greater habit in order to destroy the old habit. Then non-smoking will become a habit, but the freedom is nowhere there. Whether you smoke or don't smoke, you remain a victim.

We have a sannyasin here, Narendra Bodhisattva. His father is a very beautiful man. People think that he is a little crazy, but he is really a beautiful man. He belongs to a certain sect of Jainism. He went on a visit, on a pilgrimage, and when you go to Jain monks they always ask you to take a vow because otherwise your going on the pilgrimage is meaningless. The monk there asked him to take some vow, so he decided to take a vow. He said,'I have never smoked in my life -

- now I will smoke.' The monk must have thought him crazy. He came back and he told me,'This vow I have taken.' And now he RELIGIOUS smokes. I said,'You are a beautiful man. You did well.' Whether you smoke or don't smoke, all vows lead you to mechanicalness.

My whole emphasis is that you should become aware of your freedom. Let your life flow out of your freedom. Whatsoever you decide is up to you. Who am I to tell you to smoke or not to smoke, to drink or not to drink? I am not worried about such foolishnesses; this is for you to decide. You are your own master.

These are trivia; they are not significant. All that matters is that you remain alert, remain centered in your freedom. Never do anything which goes against your freedom. Do -- everything is allowed if it is done out of freedom. To act out of freedom is to be virtuous, to act out of bondage is to sin.

The fourth question:

Question 4

YOU SAY THAT IF A MAN IS THIRSTY HE SHOULD COME AND DRINK

FROM YOU. WE ARE HERE AS MUCH AS WE CAN BE, AND YOU ARE

HERE, ARE YOU NOT? SO WHAT IS MISSING?

Nothing is missing! On the contrary, something is there which is not needed.

Nothing is missing. There is something which is not needed: you are too much.

Your too-muchness is creating the barrier. If you can somehow miss, the thing will happen immediately. When you come to me the next time, leave yourself back at home. Come alone; don't bring yourself here. But you go on bringing yourself. If it is too difficult to leave yourself at home, then leave yourself where you leave your shoes.

Nothing is missing. The whole problem of man is not that something is lacking in him, but that something more it is a problem of plusses. I am here, available, but you are is there which is not needed. It is not a problem of minusses, not there to receive me. It is not because you are empty, but because you are too full, too full of yourself. There is no space for me to enter into you: so many thoughts, so many ideas, so many ideologies. Somebody is a Christian, somebody is a Hindu, somebody is a Mohammedan, somebody is a Jain -- so many diseases; this is the plus. And among these diseases is sitting the king of all diseases -- the ego; enthroned, crowned. This plus has to be dissolved.

Here you have to be wakened, empty, void, open, so that the breeze that is blowing here can pass through you without any obstruction. And with the breeze, the dust that you have gathered through many lives will be blown out.

You will be left clean and pure.

So remember this: whenever you ask such questions, you think that you have to do something which you are not doing, that something is missing. No, you are doing something which is not needed to be done. While listening to me you are thinking -- that is the plus. While listening 'to me just be a listening. There is no need to think, because I am not propounding a philosophy here. I am simply stating a few facts. Those facts are not hypothetical; those facts are my realizations. I have come to see something which I would like to deliver to you.

But if you are listening without thinking, only then is it possible. When I say don't think, I don't mean that whatsoever I say you have to accept blindly. No, I'm simply saying: just listen; no need to believe in it, no need to disbelieve in it.

Don't bring that problem in right now. Just listen so that you can understand what I am saying. Later on you can think about it, and you can decide whether to be with me or not to be with me. That decision is possible only if you have listened rightly.

And how will you decide if you have not been listening to me? This is the beauty of it, that if you have listened rightly, a fact has a certain quality in it: so that once it enters into you, you cannot deny it, you cannot be against it. A fact has a self-evidence about it. It does not need any proof or argument. It has a truth in it.

Once you listen you can feed that truth within you. Just listen to me, and then there will be no need to think about it. You will be able to see the truth of it, and truth liberates.

I cannot liberate you, nobody can liberate you; only truth can liberate you. And the truth has to be seen by YOU. I may be seeing it, I may be telling it to you. In a thousand and one ways I may be showering it upon you, but that is useless if you are not open, if your pot is upside down, if you are not listening When I am speaking, if simultaneously you go on thinking of what I am saying, if you go on like commentators in a cricket match and you go on commenting -- 'Yes, this is right, that is wrong; that I cannot believe; this goes against my philosophy; I am a Christian, what this man is saying is anti-Christian; this is not written in the Bible' -- if you go on commenting, while you are commenting you are missing me. Then you may listen to bits and fragments, and out of those bits and fragments you may create something within you which has nothing to do with me.

Listen to me as totally as possible. Listening to me, be completely vacant, empty, so that there is no resistance. I can pass through and through you; you become transparent to me. Once the truth-seed falls into you, there is no need to be worried; it sprouts on its own. It brings much fruit on its own. It does not need your help. It simply needs one thing: please don't hinder it. You are not asked to help it to grow, you are only asked to allow it to fall in the right soil of your heart.

The fifth question:

Question 5

SHOULD ONE FIRST COME TO TERMS WITH ONE'S OWN LONELINESS

BEFORE ENTERING INTO RELATIONSHIP?

Yes, you have to come to terms with your loneliness, so much so that the loneliness is transformed into aloneness. Only then will you be capable of moving into a deep enriching relationship. Only then will you be able to move into love. What do I mean when I say that one has to come to terms with one's loneliness, so much so that it becomes aloneness?

Loneliness is a negative state of mind. Aloneness is positive, notwithstanding what the dictionaries say. In dictionaries, loneliness and aloneness are synonymous -- they are synonyms; in life they are not. Loneliness is a state of mind when you are constantly missing the other, aloneness is the state of mind when you are constantly delighted in yourself. Loneliness is miserable, aloneness is blissful. Loneliness is always worried, missing something, hankering for something, desiring for something; aloneness is a deep fulfillment, not going out, tremendously content, happy, celebrating. In loneliness you are off center, in aloneness you are centered and rooted. Aloneness is beautiful. It has an elegance around it, a grace, a climate of tremendous satisfaction. Loneliness is; beggarly; all around it there is begging and nothing else. It has no grace around it. In fact it is ugly. Loneliness is a dependence, aloneness is SHEER independence. One feels as if one is one's whole world, one's whole existence.

Now, if you move into a relationship when you are feeling lonely, then you will exploit the other. The other will become a means to satisfy you. You will use the other, and everybody resents being used because no man is here to become a means for anybody else. Every man is an end unto himself. Nobody is here to be used like a thing, everybody is here to be worshipped like a king. Nobody is here to fulfill anybody else's expectations, everybody is here just to be himself. So whenever you move in any relationship out of loneliness, the relationship is already on the rocks. Even before it has started, it is already on the rocks. Even before the birth, the child is dead. It is going to create more misery for you. And remember, when you move from your loneliness you will fall in relationship with somebody who is in the same plight, because no man who is really living his aloneness will be attracted towards you. You will be too below him. He can, at the most, sympathize, but cannot love you. One who is on his peak of aloneness can only be attracted towards somebody who is also alone. So whenever you move out of loneliness, you will find a man of the same type; you will find your own reflection somewhere. Two beggars will meet, two miserable people will meet. And remember, when two miserable people meet, it is not an ordinary addition, it is a multiplication. They create much more misery for each other than they could have created in their loneliness.

First become alone. First start enjoying yourself. First love yourself. First become so authentically happy that if nobody comes it doesn't matter; you are full, overflowing. If nobody knocks at your door it is perfectly okay -- YOU are not missing. You are not waiting for somebody to come and knock at the door. You are at home. If somebody comes, good, beautiful. If nobody comes, that too is beautiful and good.

THEN move into relationship. Now you move like a master, not like a beggar.

Now you move like an emperor,. not like a beggar. And the person who has lived in his aloneness will always be attracted to another person who is also living his aloneness beautifully, because the same attracts the same. When two masters meet -- masters of their being, of their aloneness -- happiness is not just added, it is multiplied. It becomes a tremendous phenomenon of celebration.

And they don't exploit, they share. They don't use each other. Rather, on the contrary, they both become one and enjoy the existence that surrounds them.

Two lonely people are always facing each other, confronting. Two people who have known aloneness are together, facing something higher than both. I always give this example: two ordinary lovers who are both lonely always face each other; two real lovers, on a full moon night, will not be facing each other. They may be holding hands, but they will be facing the full moon high in the sky. They will not be facing each other, they will be together facing something else.

Sometimes they will be listening to a symphony of Mozart or Beethoven or Wagner together. Sometimes they will be sitting by the side of a tree and enjoying the tremendous being of the tree enveloping them. Sometimes they may be sitting by a waterfall and listening to the wild music that is continuously being created there. Sometimes, by the ocean, they will both be looking to the farthest possibility that the eyes can see. Whenever two lonely persons meet, they look at each other, because they are constantly in search of ways and means to exploit the other: how to use the other, how to be happy through the other. But two persons who are deeply contented within themselves are not trying to use each other. Rather, they become fellow travellers; they move on a pilgrimage.

The goal is high, the goal is far away. Their common interest joins them together.

Ordinarily the common interest is sex. Sex can join two persons momentarily and casually, and very superficially. Real lovers have a greater common interest. It is not that sex will not be there; it may be there, but as part of a higher harmony.

Listening to Mozart's or Beethoven's symphony, they may come so close, so close, so close, that there may be love. They may make love to each other, but it is in the greater harmony of a Beethoven symphony. The symphony was the real thing; the love happens as part of it. And when love happens of its own accord, unsought, unthought, simply happens as part of a higher harmony, it has a totally different quality to it. it is divine, it is no longer human.

The word 'happiness' comes from a Scandanavian word 'hap'. The word'happening' also comes from the same Scandanavian root. Happiness is that which happens. You cannot produce it, you cannot command it, you cannot force it. At the most, you can be available to it. Whenever it happens, it happens.

Two real lovers are always available, but never thinking, never trying to find happiness. Then they are never frustrated, because whenever it happens it happens. They create the situation. In fact, if you are happy with yourself, you are already the situation, and if the other is also happy with himself or herself, she is also the situation. When these two situations come close, a greater situation is created. In that greater situation much happens -- nothing is produced.

Man has not to do anything to be happy. Man has just to flow and let go.

So, the question is: should one first come to terms with his own loneliness before entering into relationship? Yes; yes, absolutely. It has to be so, otherwise you will be frustrated, and in the name of love you will be doing something else which is not love at all.

The last question:

Question 6

OSHO, I FEEL YOUR GRACE MELTING ME. LOVE TO YOU MY MASTER.

It is from Anup.

It is not a question. A real question is never a question, it is a statement. This is a statement of Anup's state of being at this moment. I can also feel that he is melting, but this is just the beginning.

Don't become too self-conscious about it, or else the melting will stop Allow it so that more and more becomes possible. Go on melting, and always remember that more is waiting. Always remember that it is always the beginning, never the end.

In fact, there is no end to it.

Life is such a mystery: there are only beginnings, no ends.

So, go on melting, always remembering that more is coming. Never become satisfied. A complacent satisfaction can become suicidal. There come many moments when one feels that more is not possible. One comes to a peak and one feels,'Now, how is more possible?' Whenever this idea that more is not possible arises in your mind, remember me. More is always possible. There never comes a moment when more is not possible. That is the meaning when we say that God is infinite: you enter into God but you never reach. Let me repeat it again: you enter into God but you never reach Him. You can drown in Him but you cannot say that you have known Him. It is so vast, so infinitely vast, and man is just a tiny drop.

Go on melting, always remembering that more is on the way.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #7

Chapter title: The Ego is the Judas

27 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

Matthew 26

47 AND WHILE HE YET SPAKE, LO, JUDAS, ONE OF THE TWELVE, CAME, AND WITH HIM A GREAT MULTITUDE WITH SWORDS AND STAVES, FROM THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND ELDERS OF THE PEOPLE.

48 NOW HE THAT BETRAYED HIM GAVE THEM A SIGN, SAYING: WHOMSOEVER I SHALL KISS, THAT SAME IS HE; HOLD HIM FAST.

49 AND FORTHWITH HE CAME TO JESUS, AND SAID: HAIL, MASTER; AND

KISSED HIM.

55 IN THAT SAME HOUR SAID JESUS TO THE MULTITUDES: ARE YE COME

OUT AS AGAINST A THIEF WITH SWORDS AND STAVES FOR TO TAKE

ME? I SAT DAILY WITH YOU TEACHING IN THE TEMPLE, AND YE LAID

NO HOLD ON ME.

56 BUT ALL THIS WAS DONE, THAT THE SCRIPTURES OF THE PROPHETS

MIGHT BE FULFILLED. THEN ALL THE DISCIPLES FORSOOK HIM, AND

FLED.

Matthew 27

1 WHEN THE MORNING WAS COME, ALL THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND

ELDERS OF THE PEOPLE TOOK COUNSEL AGAINST JESUS TO PUT HIM TO

DEATH:

2 AND WHEN THEY HAD BOUND HIM, THEY LED HIM AWAY, AND

DELIVERED HIM TO PONTIUS PILATE, THE GOVERNOR.

11 AND JESUS STOOD BEFORE THE GOVERNOR, AND THE GOVERNOR

ASKED HIM, SAYING: ART THOU THE KING OF THE JEWS? AND JESUS

SAID UNTO HIM: THOU SAYEST.

12 AND WHEN HE WAS ACCUSED OF THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND ELDERS, HE ANSWERED NOTHING.

THEN SAID PILATE UNTO HIM: HEAREST THOU NOT HOW MANY

THINGS THEY WITNESS AGAINST THEE?

14 AND HE ANSWERED TO HIM NEVER A WORD; INSOMUCH THAT THE

GOVERNOR MARVELLED GREATLY.

A MAN was travelling through the wilderness when he came across some animals having a speech contest. The judge was a lion who invited the man to become part of the audience. The man accepted.

A fox stood up and gave a smooth and clever speech. At one point, he declared,'The moon is larger than the sun.'

The next speaker was an elephant whose voice boomed out with power and authority. His talk included the sentence,'Summer is cooler than winter.'

Then came a tiger whose eloquence impressed everyone. At one point he said,'The river runs uphill.'

The observing man remarked to the lion,'They are superb orators. However, I'm puzzled. All of them made statements which were obviously untrue. Not only that, but the audience either did not notice or did not care. Why do your speakers make false statements?

'That's an unworthy habit, alright,' admitted the lion,'but the audience is more interested in entertainment than in enlightenment. And, if you don't mind sir, I would like to tell you that we have picked up this bad habit from you human beings.'

The priests, the politicians: they are great orators, superb; great thinkers, very complex weavers, spinners of theories, philosophies, but, they are not sincere about religion. They use religion. Religion is, at the most, a profession. And the audience is not interested in enlightenment, the audience is seeking entertainment. Whether you go to a cinema hall or to a theatre, to a dancing party, or to the church or the temple, your interest is the same: you are seeking some place where you can forget yourself. You are seeking entertainment.

Enlightenment is just the opposite. You will have to seek a space within yourself where it becomes impossible to forget yourself; where even if you want, it is not possible to forget; where self-remembering becomes a constant flame.

Here is the point where people like Jesus create trouble. They are not great orators. They are not interested in theories and they are not there to entertain anybody. They are not professionals. They are not using religion for their own ends. They are sincere people -- sincerely interested in helping, sincerely interested in creating a situation where man can realize himself. The trouble starts because the professionals are already there; the priests, the politicians are already there.

Whenever a man like Jesus enters into the world, the priests and the politicians become alert. It is dangerous for them. If Jesus succeeds, they will be thrown, uprooted. The whole establishment will collapse. If the establishment has to remain, then Jesus has to be destroyed.

This is the first thing to be understood because this is always happening, even today, and this will go on happening History goes on repeating itself not because there is any natural law that history should repeat itself, but only because man has not changed. Man remains the same, the old. He behaves again and again in the same way. You are here with me; many priests are worried about it, many politicians are worried about it. Why should they be worried? It is none of their business -- but it is. Their very base is that religion should not become a sincere search. It should remain, at the most, a superficial entertainment; at the most, a mannerism, an etiquette. And they are afraid, because if somebody like Jesus asserts himself, the very presence of Jesus creates a deep inferiority in them. Not that Jesus is trying to make them inferior; Jesus is not even aware of it. He has not even thought about it. But through his very presence... the sun rises in the morning, and the stars, disappear. Whenever Jesus is there, the priests start disappearing. The politicians are in a difficulty; they cannot hold their ground.

I have heard a very beautiful anecdote about a certain doctor, Buzby. He was a great headmaster in England, a very famous headmaster. Even the king became interested. And once, the king went to see the headmaster in his school. The king was allowed in the school. Doctor Buzby started through the schoolrooms with his hat on his head, while His Majesty walked complacently behind him with his hat under his arm. The other people who had followed the king were a little disturbed and worried and restless:'Is this headmaster a little eccentric? He has not shown even that much respect to the king; he could have taken his hat off.'

Even the king was a little uneasy about it, but he didn't say anything.

When he was taking his leave at the door, the doctor, with great humility, then addressed the king,'I hope Your Majesty will excuse my want of respect hitherto, but if my boys were to imagine that there were a greater man in the kingdom than myself, I should never be able to rule them. So please excuse me.' He said,'They should know that even the king is not greater than their headmaster.

Otherwise, it would be impossible to rule them again.'

This is what happens when a Jesus walks on the earth: the politicians, the priests, become afraid. They cannot allow the common man to know that a greater possibility exists, that a greater man is possible. Otherwise, they will not be able to rule again. Hence, Jesus has to be crucified. He has to be destroyed before the public so the public can know well 'who is the boss here'.

Listen to the sutras.

AND WHILE HE YET SPAKE, LO, JUDAS, ONE OF THE TWELVE, CAME, AND WITH HIM A GREAT MULTITUDE WITH SWORDS AND STAVES, FROM THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND ELDERS OF THE PEOPLE.

Judas was Jesus' own disciple. He betrayed him. Only love can betray, because to betray somebody, you have to come close to him. To hate somebody, first you have to love him. Remember this complexity of love: whenever you love somebody, a part of you goes on hating because love requires surrender, and the ego resists. Love requires that you should be lost, that you should become one with your lover, your Master, your beloved, your friend, your God. Love requires that you should disappear, and the ego resists, the ego starts struggling against it. Judas is nothing but a representation of the ego. And remember that Judas exists in each of you; in everybody, the ego is the Judas.

Let me repeat it again. Those twelve disciples of Jesus were very simple people, except for Judas. They were uneducated people, common people, people of the earth. You would not have recognized them anywhere in a crowd. They would have been lost. Only Judas was not ordinary. He was polished, educated, cultured, sophisticated: that's what the ego is. Ego is nothing but a sophistication.

Ego is nothing but the part which has become extraordinary in you. When you love, you become ordinary.

Remember, people who are very egoistic are always against love. In India you will find them in the monasteries, in the Himalayas. People who are very egoistic are against love. They may say that they are leaving the world, the world of love, to seek and search for God. They are deceiving nobody except themselves; because unless you love tremendously, you cannot seek God. In the Himalayan peaks, they are seeking nothing but their own egos. God is to be sought in love because God is to be sought in your own crucifixion; when the ego disappears, He is.

Have you watched in your own mind that whenever you are moving in a love relationship, there arises a certain uneasiness? You are allured, fascinated. You would like to delve deeply into it, but a part of you starts becoming uneasy. Look at that part; that is Judas. That part says,'What are you going to do? -- surrender?

What are you going to do? -- become ordinary?'

Nothing is more ordinary than love. Love is very earthly. Nothing is more natural than love. Nobody needs to learn it; everybody is born knowing it. Love is all over. The whole existence throbs in love. Love is the very beat of life. Love is very natural, very ordinary.

The ego is *unnatura1, extraordinary: you want to feel superior to others, you want to be crowned. You don't want to belong to the earth because all belong to the earth. You want something to be special, to be somebody special -- it is the Judas.

To betray, one needs to be in love.

Judas loved Jesus, but could not love totally. That is the problem: if you love and you don't love totally, you can betray at any moment, because the part that is not yet in love will go on finding ways and means to rebel, to go against. Then Jesus was crucified because of this betrayal. The next day, Judas committed suicide.

That too is a very deep, a deeply meaningful parable. Why did he commit suicide himself the next day? Because then there was no point -- the whole ego had been existing against Jesus. He loved Jesus, but only a part, and a part was fighting.

Now with Jesus crucified, that part which was fighting disappeared. There was no point now, and he could not have found a man like Jesus again to hate, to fight, to struggle against, to love. Once Jesus was gone, Judas was meaningless.

Once Jesus was gone, the whole existence of Judas became empty. He committed suicide. In his life there was meaning because of Jesus; he loved and hated the man. On one side he loved, on another side he hated.

A Judas means: one who is divided within himself. A Judas means: one who is schizophrenic, split. Judas is not just the name of a certain person who betrayed Jesus; Judas is a disease. Judas is a psychological split.

So while listening to these sutras, always remember that you can be a Judas, and you can be a Jesus also. If the split disappears, you are a Jesus. If the split goes on existing, you remain a Judas. Between Judas and Jesus there is just a little distance, and the distance is that of division. Are you divided in your love? --

then you are a Judas. Are you undivided in your love? -- then you are a Jesus.

AND WHILE HE YET SPAKE, LO, JUDAS, ONE OF THE TWELVE, CAME, AND WITH HIM A GREAT MULTITUDE WITH SWORDS AND STAVES, FROM THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND ELDERS OF THE PEOPLE.

NOW HE THAT BETRAYED HIM GAVE THEM A SIGN, SAVING: WHOMSOEVER I SHALL KISS, THAT SAME IS HE; HOLD HIM FAST.

Very symbolic -- betraying Jesus by kissing him -- the kiss of death. The same kiss that could have been of love, was of betrayal. The SAME kiss that could have been of love, was of betrayal. The same kiss that could been of life became part of death. The same kiss which could have been elixir, ambrosia, became poison. The kiss is the same, but the quality that you bring to it makes it either the ambrosia of eternal life or makes it poison.

Remember: gestures are always the same; only you change behind them. Only you change; gestures are the same. You love, you hate, you surrender, you resist; gestures are the same. But the quality behind them changes, because gestures are only containers; whatsoever you put inside them is the real thing.

Judas had chosen a kiss as an indication.

He said to the multitude, to the enemies,'Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he; hold him fast.' He could have chosen some other gesture also. Anything would have been indicative, so why a kiss?

A part of him loved Jesus; a part of him loved him tremendously. Never be very hard on Judas. Christians have been very hard. Have compassion. Never be very hard on Judas, because he is hidden within you also. Don't just hate him because he betrayed, because you also have the same tendency to betray. Every human being is prone to become a Judas. I say to you, have compassion on him. Try to understand him. Why had he chosen the kiss? He could have chosen any indication.

A part of him really loved Jesus, but a part hated him. It was a love-hate relationship. It was both, a dichotomy. Remember, if your love is nothing but an opposition to hate, if your love is nothing but an opposite to hate, the hate will exist within you. There is another dimension of love where love is only the absence of hate, not opposite to it. I teach you THAT love: love as an absence of hate. The real problem is not how to love; the real problem is how to understand hate and drop it through that understanding. Don't hide your hate, don't suppress it; bring it out, get rid of it. Before you can be able to really love and love totally, hate has to be dropped. You can do a simple thing: you can hide the hate and you can go on loving. But the hate which is hiding behind you is going to betray, some day or other. You are a Judas, and you are going to be a Judas.

Until Judas betrayed Jesus, he himself was not aware of what he was doing. He became aware only when Jesus was crucified, when he himself saw what he had done. Then he became aware. Then he repented, and committed suicide.

... I SHALL KISS, THE SAME IS HE; HOLD HIM FAST. AND FORTHWITH HE

CAME TO JESUS, AND SAID: HAIL, MASTER; AND KISSED HIM.

IN THAT SAME HOUR SAID JESUS TO THE MULTITUDES: ARE YE COME

OUT AS AGAINST A THIEF WITH SWORDS AND STAVES FOR TO TAKE

ME? I SAT DAILY WITH YOU TEACHING IN THE TEMPLE, AND YE LAID

NO HOLD ON ME.

Jesus was moving with the multitudes, in the marketplace, in the temple; he was teaching. He said to these people,'Why have you come with swords and staves, as if you have come against a thief? And I have always been a part of you, I have always lived amongst you, I have been teaching in the temple, so why do you come in the middle of the night with swords, with such a big crowd to catch me, to hold me? Why? You could have caught me any day. And there is no need for swords. You know well that I have got no swords to fight with.' What was Jesus saying to them? He had not said a single word to Judas. That's very, very meaningful.

There was nothing to say to Judas. All that could have been said, had been said.

On Judas he had been working for years, but it seemed that the disease was incurable. It seemed that the more he had tried to change him, the more he had become resistant and stubborn, It seemed the more attention had been given to him, the more he had become egoistic. He didn't say a single word to Judas, but he talked to the multitudes, to the crowd.

Why had this crowd come with swords? They were afraid, afraid of what they were going to commit. Remember this, because to come to Jesus with swords is simply meaningless, absurd. He is a simple man who has always been moving everywhere, who could have been caught any day, by anybody; a fragile body.

There was no problem, ever. Why with swords? Try to understand.

Whenever you carry a sword, it is not against anybody else; it is only because you are afraid. It is because of your fear. They were afraid. For what they were going to commit, they were already guilty about it. These swords were not against Jesus because they were not needed against him. Those swords were against their own guilt, their own fear, their own cowardice. They knew well that to face Jesus was going to be difficult. Just to look into his eyes would be very difficult. And to catch hold of him, to make him a prisoner was going to be almost impossible.

They came with swords to have courage, to not be afraid. They came with swords so there would be no need to look into this man's eyes. Bare-handed, he could have been caught anywhere. He was absolutely unprotected, insecure.

And these people knew him well. There was no need, in fact, for Judas even to indicate who he was. Everybody knew about him.

But the priests were also afraid, the politicians were also afraid. They also wanted to throw the responsibility on somebody else who could be, could become, the scapegoat for centuries to come. They found Judas. Then Judas became the symbol of betrayal. It is as if Judas became the real culprit.

IN THAT SAME HOUR SAID JESUS TO THE MULTITUDES: ARE YE COME

OUT AS AGAINST A THIEF WITH SWORDS AND STAVES FOR TO TAKE

ME? I SAT DAILY WITH YOU TEACHING IN THE TEMPLE, AND YE LAID

NO HOLD ON ME.

BUT ALL THIS WAS DONE, THAT THE SCRIPTURES OF THE PROPHETS

MIGHT BE FULFILLED.

This point is significant. In the life of Jesus, or in the life of Krishna, or in the life of Buddha, this point is very significant. They always speak as if they are playing a part in a drama, as if they are simply acting, as if this earth is a great stage and they are fulfilling simple prophecies.

It is said that before Rama was born, a great poet, Valmiki, wrote Rama's whole life; before he was born! And then Rama was born; he had to follow Valmiki, because when such a great poet writes something, it has to be followed. What else can you do?

It may not have been so, but the story is beautiful. It says that life is a drama: as if it has been written already and it is only unfolding.

Jesus said to those people,'But all this was done that the scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled.' It was said in the old scriptures that this was the way the Messiah was to be caught, crucified. This was the way that the Messiah was to be betrayed by his own disciple, Judas.

What is Jesus saying? He's saying to Judas, in an indirect way,'Don't feel guilty about it. It is just a fulfillment of a prophecy. You are not responsible.' This is his love. He is taking the responsibility from Judas. He is saying,'Don't be afraid, don't feel guilty, don't feel responsible. You are not doing anything. You are just an instrument in the hands of history. It has been prophesied long before that one of my disciples would betray me. You are just instrumental.'

This is what Krishna said to Arjuna in the Gita:'Don't be worried. You simply fight the war. You are just instrumental; NIMITTA MATRA -- you are not the doer. The doer is always God. You are just a vehicle that He is using. You just surrender yourself into the hands of the whole, and let things happen.

Whatsoever is going to happen is going to happen. You relax. Please don't be tense about it.'

The same is Jesus' meaning when he says,'But all this was done that the scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled.' He is saying to Judas,'Don't be worried.' He is saying to the multitudes,'Don't feel afraid. Nobody is doing anything wrong. Everything is okay, because this is how it had to happen. This is a beautiful gesture on Jesus' part.

Just a few days ago I was reading the story of a Hassid mystic, Baal Shem. One day he was sitting just in front of his house. It must have been a winter morning like this, cold, and he was sunning himself. A beggar came. He told the beggar to wait and he would go in the house to search for something for him. But he could not find anything; there was nothing. The wife had gone to some neighbor, and he could only find his wife's ring, the wedding ring that he had given her. He came with the ring and gave it to the beggar.

When the wife returned and found her ring missing, she asked. Baal Shem told the whole story:'I searched, but nothing could be found.'

The wife created much trouble for him. She said,'You run after him! Catch hold of the beggar. That ring is my wedding ring and it is very costly, almost a hundred gold coins!'

Baal Shem ran to catch hold of the beggar, and many people followed him --

'What is going to happen?' They could not believe that Baal Shem could do that, but he ran. In the marketplace, he found the beggar. He caught hold of him and said,'Wait! Listen to me! That ring is very costly. It can fetch almost one hundred gold coins. Don't allow anybody to cheat you.' That's all that he did, and he went back.

You cannot understand the gesture of love. Everybody in the neighborhood thought that he was going to take hold of that beggar and take the ring back. The wife was very happy when he ran; she also thought so. Because we live in such a loveless heart, we cannot understand the gesture of love.

It is a gesture of love when Jesus says,'But all this was done that the scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled.'

Remember well, he does not mean what he says. Christians have been befooled by the words. They think that exactly what he is saying, he also means. No.

Existence is freedom. It is not determined beforehand. It is not predestined. If it were predestined then all meaning would be lost. Life is not a drama, but you can take it as a drama. If you take it as a drama, you transcend life. But remember, life is not a drama; life is total freedom. Nobody can predict what is going to happen the next moment, because the next moment comes as if out of the blue, totally free and fresh. If it could be predicted, then all meaning would be lost.

Jesus is not saying that he believes in fate. Jesus is not saying that he believes that life is absolutely determined, every bit of it, no. Then why does he say this:'But all this was done that the scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled'? This is a gesture of love. He is trying to create a situation in which Judas should not feel guilty. He is creating a situation in which the multitudes which have come to take over, to make him prisoner, should not feel guilty. He is saying that it has to be so, so it is happening; nobody is at fault. He is making everybody free of fault.

This is a love gesture; tremendously loving and caring about people.

His last words on the cross were again the same:'Father, forgive them, because they don't know what they are doing.

BUT ALL THIS WAS DONE, THAT THE SCRIPTURES OF THE PROPHETS

MIGHT BE FULFILLED.

THEN THE DISCIPLES FORSOOK HIM, AND FLED -- one betrayed, the remaining fled. To be a disciple is really a very arduous thing.

When everything was going well, disciples were there. But now everything was going wrong. Jesus is being caught; disciples start disappearing. They fled. This is the moment, the moment which will decide who is a disciple. Judas betrayed, but the others who fled also betrayed in a way. Their betrayal was negative and Judas' betrayal was positive, but both were betrayals. It is really difficult to become a disciple, because when things are going good everything can be with the Master, but when things start going bad, and every hill has a valley, and every day has a night... even Jesus has a dark night following him. In the day you can be with Jesus, but in the night, when darkness surrounds and everywhere is fear; when death is lurking all around, then to be with Jesus -- there is the test, there is the criterion -- of whether you are really a disciple or not.

I have heard a beautiful story. It is not exactly a story, but a real thing: it happened.

Shortly after the Second World War, a devastated city in England began its heart-breaking and wearing work of restoration. In the old city square had stood a large statue of Jesus Christ with his hands outspread, in an attitude of invitation.

On the pedestal were carved the words: Come unto me. In the process of the restoration of the statue, with the aid of master artists and sculptors, the figure eventually was reassembled except for the hands, of which no fragments could be discovered anywhere in the surrounding rubble. Someone made the suggestion that the artist would have to fashion new hands, since the former hands could not be found. Later came a public protest, couched in the words,'No, leave him without hands.' So today, in the public square of that English city, the restored statue of Christ stands without hands, and on its base are carved the words: Christ has no hands but ours.

Those twelve hands all betrayed: one positively, eleven negatively. And Christ has no hands except ours, because Christ is a being, PURE being. And all that is to be done is to be done through us, through the hands. In that moment, when Judas betrayed and the remaining eleven fled, Jesus was left without hands, a pure being. In fact, that moment was the moment of crucifixion. The next day, it was nothing new. In that moment, the hands of Christ were cut. In that moment, the real crucifixion happened. The next day was just a repetition of it in more materialistic terms, but spiritually, Jesus was left without hands.

WHEN THE MORNING WAS COME, ALL THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND ELDERS

OF THE PEOPLE TOOK COUNSEL AGAINST JESUS TO PUT HIM TO DEATH: AND WHEN THEY HAD BOUND HIM, THEY LED HIM AWAY, AND

DELIVERED HIM TO PONTIUS PILATE, THE GOVERNOR. AND JESUS

STOOD BEFORE THE GOVERNOR, AND THE GOVERNOR ASKED HIM, SAYING: ART THOU THE KING OF THE JEWS? AND JESUS SAID UNTO

HIM: THOU SAYEST.

Jesus was tremendously misunderstood whenever he talked about the kingdom of God. He never talked about the kingdom of this earth. Whenever he said,'I am the King of the Jews,' he never meant to assert any throne on this earth. He was saying something very symbolically. He was saying that he was the cream of the Jewish genius. He was saying that he was the heart of the Jewish race. He was saying that he was the flower of the Jewish tree of life. When he said that he was the king, he never meant that he was the king politically.

But this is always so: you have to use the language of the people you are talking to, and that very language which you wanted to communicate with becomes the barrier, becomes the cause of all misunderstanding.

The people understood the superficial meaning of his words. Had they been a little more in tune with themselves, had they been a little more silent, had they been a little more meditative and prayerful, they would have understood what Jesus was saying.

Many times I say things to you and immediately I feel that you must have misunderstood me. I have to use words. You hear my words, you cannot hear my meaning -- because the meaning is a silent shadow that follows the word.

You hear the word and you supply the meaning. My meaning is lost.

Words may be mine, but meanings are yours.

Once it happened: A thirsty wanderer in the desert was in despair over finding water. He struggled frantically from one hilltop to the next in an effort to sight a stream which was supposed to be in that region. His eyes searched in every direction, but without success. While staggering through some dry bushes his foot caught on a branch, spilling him to the ground. Exhausted, and dejected, he remained there. Feeling no energy, feeling no motivation to move, feeling nowhere to go, he remained there as if dead on the ground, listening to the surrounding silence. The desert was absolutely silent. There was nothing except silence. Suddenly, his head jerked upwards. He heard something new. It was the faint but definite sound of running water. Strengthened by the sound, he followed it all the way to a clear and cool stream of water.

A silent but alert mind can hear the first faint invitation to abundant supply and refreshment.

When you are near a man like Jesus, listen to his silence, not to his words.If you only listen to his words you are bound to misunderstand him. Just listen to his silence, and each of his words is followed by silence. In fact, a man like Jesus speaks only so that you can hear his silence. You will say,'Then why does he speak in the first place?' If he did not speak, you would not be able to understand his silence. Speech becomes the contrast, words become the contrast. It is just as if you write on a blackboard with white chalk. You can write on a white board with white chalk, but then it will be impossible to read what is written.

A man like Jesus speaks: through his words he creates the blackboard, and through his silence, the white chalk. Forget the blackboard. That is just a device to bring silence to your heart, to bring silence to your awareness.

THE GOVERNOR ASKED JESUS: ART THOU THE KING OF THE JEWS? AND

JESUS SAID UNTO HIM: THOU SAYEST.'I am not saying,' he said.'I have not said it. It is you who are saying it. If you say so, it's okay.'

AND WHEN HE WAS ACCUSED OF THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND ELDERS, HE

ANSWERED NOTHING.

This has to be understood also. He answered Pilate; at least he said,'Thou sayest.'

But when the priests and the elders accused him of a thousand and one things, he answered nothing. Why?

Pontius Pilate was a stranger. It is possible sometimes to speak to a stranger. It is very difficult to speak to people who think they are familiar with you, who already think that they know you. It is impossible to speak to the people who think they know you, because whatsoever you say is not going to help; they already know you. They will interpret you in the old way, in their way, so that they understand you. Pilate was absolutely a stranger. He was a Roman governor, he was not a Jew. He was not at all concerned with the Jewish religion.

Jesus looked at the governor, and he said,'Thou sayest.' He may have been able to understand Jesus. And the story goes that Pilate felt very much for him. He understood, a little. Being a stranger, it was possible for him to understand this man. At least he could see him without any prejudice. It was none of his concern: he was not a Jew, he was not a priest, he was a foreigner. He could look at this man directly, without any clouds in his mind. He felt for this man. This man looked absolutely innocent. In fact, Pontius Pilate wanted him to be freed.

Two more persons were going to be crucified that day: two thieves along with Jesus. And it was the custom that the people could ask for one person to be freed.

One person could be freed by the governor, so the governor hoped that they would ask for Jesus to be freed. He even hinted; he sent messages to the elders, to the priests, saying,'It will be good if Jesus can be freed. The man seems to be innocent.' But no, the people wanted his blood. They asked that one of the thieves should be freed, not Jesus.

A thief, a murderer, was freed and an absolutely innocent man was killed. The man, the thief who was freed, himself became a disciple of Jesus. Seeing the innocence of this man, he could not believe how he had been freed. He was not worthy. The very phenomenon changed his life.

AND WHEN HE WAS ACCUSED OF THE CHIEF PRIESTS AND ELDERS, HE

ANSWERED NOTHING.

THEN SAID PILATE UNTO HIM: HEAREST THOU NOT HOW MANY

THINGS THEY WITNESS AGAINST THEE?

AND HE ANSWERED TO HIM NEVER A WORD; INSOMUCH THAT THE

GOVERNOR MARVELLED GREATLY.

Why did the governor marvel greatly at the silence of Jesus? His silence was very, very eloquent. His remaining in silence showed much that could not be said. Whenever a person feels guilty he starts defending; that is natural.

Whenever you feel wrong you start arguing; that is natural. Whenever you feel that something has gone amiss you start rationalizing; that is natural.

If you are really innocent, then what is there to defend, argue, rationalize? If you are really innocent, only silence can say anything. Words won't help. Pilate, the governor, must have seen many criminals in his life, all arguing.

I have heard a story: Once it happened that one great Russian Czar, Peter, went to see his prison. Once a year he used to go there, and it was up to him to free anybody. If he took the fancy of freeing anybody, there was nobody to hinder. So he would go from one cell to another, and all the criminals, great criminals, murderers, would say,'Sir, -- we are innocent. We have been unfairly caught.

Somebody else has done it. Have mercy on us!'

Only one man who was accused of murder and was sentenced for his whole life said,'Sir, I am a criminal; I have committed the murder. And I don't feel that even my whole life's imprisonment is enough punishment. Give me more punishment! I feel guilty!'

Peter said,'Release this rascal immediately! He will corrupt others. All are so innocent but this rascal.' That man was freed immediately.

Innocence accepts. PURE innocence has nothing to reject, nothing to accept. If you are a criminal, your whole mind will work on how to get out of it. If you accept it, you are already out of it. But Jesus was not a criminal at all. He had not committed any crime. He was the purest soul ever. He had nothing to accept, nothing to reject that's the meaning of his silence.

'And the governor marvelled'... he had never seen such a silent man, so close to death yet so peaceful; so close to death and so relaxed; so close to death and so un-defensive; so close to death and not trying in any way to save himself -- so surrendered.

AND HE ANSWERED TO HIM NEVER A WORD; INSOMUCH THAT THE

GOVERNOR MARVELLED GREATLY.

Jesus succeeded as a rebel; he failed as a revolutionary. If you ask buddhas, they will say that he succeeded. If you ask ordinary people, they will say that he failed.

A great crowd had gathered on the day when he was crucified to see whether he was going to do some miracle. They went home frustrated. No miracle happened, no miracle at all. He died silently, as any ordinary man would have died. There was not a difference, not a bit of difference.

But I would like to tell you: give flowers to rebels who fail, because all the successful ones have always betrayed the revolution.

Every revolution has been a betrayed revolution. Only a rebel who fails totally is a real rebel, because to succeed he will have to use the ways and means of this world. And in using those ways and means is the failure. Jesus died a humble man, in total surrender, without any power; this is his success.

The church is a failure because the church has succeeded in becoming a great establishment. Now, upon this earth, the Christian church is the greatest establishment. Fords and Rockefellers, Morgans and Carnegies are nothing; the Christian church is the greatest business on the earth today. Other great companies are very, very small companies compared. to the Christian church. It is a world-wide establishment. The church succeeded and failed; Jesus failed and succeeded.

Give your flowers to rebels who have failed, because they are the truly rebellious people.

A rebellious person remains individual; there is no other way. He flowers, he blooms, and disappears. He does not leave any trace behind of his success. In fact, there are no proofs to show that Jesus ever existed; except for the Gospel, which is a Christian document, there is no other proof that he ever existed.

Nowhere else is ke mentioned. How has it happened that such a great phenomenon has not left any footprints?

The greater the phenomenon, the lesser the footprints in history. The greater the phenomenon, the lesser the footprints in time. He succeeds in eternity; he fails in time. Those who succeed in time fail in eternity.

Give your flowers to those rebels who have failed....

And Jesus is the topmost failure in the world. He failed tremendously, he failed beautifully. He is a pinnacle of failure, the climax, because he is a rebel, not a revolutionary. Lenin succeeded, Gandhi succeeded, Mao succeeded; these are revolutionaries, they are not rebels. They all betrayed the revolution. Once a rebellion becomes a revolution, it is already on the path of betrayal.

If you really want to be a rebel -- and that is the only way to be a religious person

-- then you have to be alone. Then you have to be an alone flame in the infinite darkness around; without any organization, without any establishment. You have to live alone. Only God is your companion, nobody else. And that too is not right to say, that God is your companion, because God is your innermost being.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #8

Chapter title: The whole Sky belongs to You

28 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

The first question:

Question 1

YOU SAID WE SUFFER BECAUSE OF THE EGO. AND THEN YOU ALSO SAY

THAT THE EGO DOES NOT EXIST. MY SUFFERING IS REAL. HOW CAN IT

BE CAUSED BY SOMETHING THAT IS NOT REAL, THAT DOESN'T EXIST?

YOU can suffer in a dream, you can suffer in a nightmare. While it lasts, to all practical purposes, it appears real. But when you awake, then you know it was not real, and even then you know that you had suffered. You may still be perspiring, you may still be trembling because of the nightmare. Your heart may still be beating faster than usual. Awake, you know that it was just a dream, but still you suffered. Not only that, but even now when you are awake, there is a hang-over. The after-effects are still continuing.

You suffer from an ego which does not exist. In fact, you suffer because it does not exist and you go on believing that it exists. If you believe in something which is not, you are bound to suffer because you will try in every possible way to feel that it exists. But it cannot exist. Just watch: whenever you suffer, watch; where does it hurt? -- you will always find that it is the'I', the ego that hurts.

You would like to live a life where there is no suffering, but that life is not possible if you continuously carry the ego with you. You cannot make a life around you so that suffering disappears. If you carry the ego, again and again you will bump into some reality which will hurt the unreal. Whenever there is an encounter between reality and unreality, the unreal causes suffering.

I have heard one anecdote about a very famous man, Oscar Wilde. At a function where the views of celebrities were being canvassed, Oscar Wilde was asked to compile his list of a hundred best books.'I fear,' said he,'that would be impossible.''Why?' he was asked. He said,'Because I have only written five.'

You go on looking at life just from one single point -- you. Humanity used to believe that earth was the center of the universe; and man, of course, the center of the earth; and you, of course, the center of humanity.

I have heard about a professor of philosophy in the university of Paris. One day he declared,'I am the greatest man in the world!'

The disciples laughed: he was a poor philosopher. But whenever;he said something he must mean something, so they asked. And they asked,'You being a logician, please prove it.'

He brought a map of the world into the class, and said to the students,'Which is the greatest country in the world? Can you tell me, can you show me?'

They were all French, so of course France was the greatest country in the world.

So he said,'Now, the whole world is hot the-question. If I can prove that I am the greatest man in France, then I am proved.'

They said,'That looks right.' But now they started feeling a little uneasy.

He said,'And which is the greatest city in France?'

Of course, they were all Parisians, so it was Paris. Now they became even more afraid; he was bringing the truth home.

And then he said,'Which is the greatest and the holiest place in Paris?'

Of course, it was the university.

'And which is the greatest department in the university?'

Of course, it was the department of philosophy.

And he said,'I am the head of the department!'

When for the first time it was discovered that the earth was not the center of the universe, it damaged the human ego tremendously. The church fought it because it was not only a question of the earth. Deep down it was a question of the human ego: if the earth is not the center, then man cannot be the center; and if earth is just a far-off outer post, and not at the center of existence, then man may be, at the most, a coincidence. The so-called religious people struggled against the idea.

Galileo was called into the court, an old man, and was asked to confess his sin: that he had committed a mistake, and to admit it. He had said and proved that it is not the sun that moves around the earth; On the contrary, it is the earth that moves around the sun. If the earth moves around the sun, then the sun is the center. He said,'I can admit that I have committed a mistake, and I confess, but there is one thing I must tell: whether I confess, whether I admit it or not, makes no difference. The earth moves around the sun. It will not change its course just because Galileo asks to be forgiven. You can kill me, and I am ready to ask to be forgiven. I am ready to admit that I have committed a mistake, but my admission is not going to help; the earth will go on moving around the sun, the earth is not at the center.'

Why was the church so adamant? There was reason in it, very, very significant reason in it: once earth is not at the center, man is not at the center. Then you disappear in a vast universe. In fact, religious people should have been in favor of it because they had been against ego. But then religious people, really religious people, are very rare and few.

The whole effort of religion is how to drop the ego. The whole effort is how to penetrate into the phenomenon of the ego and to SEE the unreality of it.

I It is unreal, and I know your suffering is real. The unreal can cause a real suffering; there is not a problem in it. Because the unreal becomes almost real when you believe in it -- you believe in a ghost, then the ghost is there.

In my town, just near my house there was a very old tree. My window was just near the tree, and I didn't like people walking, coming and going, so I spread a rumor that there was a ghost. By and by, it became a reality. First people laughed, but even in their laughter there was fear.

I had an old servant, so I told him one day to just sit in the tree, and when people passed by, to just create noise. The whole town recognized the fact that this was the truth. My family knew that I wanted absolute silence near that tree so that nobody would pass. But by and by, they also became afraid -- 'Who knows?' I told them,'You know that this is just a trick!' But they said,'When the whole town believes, and nobody walks on that path in the night, and even in the day people are afraid... who knows?'

Once you believe, the unreal thing becomes real. Your belief makes it real: then it hurts, then it hurts almost as if it were real. It is only a question of belief. Man is a believing animal. Whatsoever you believe, you make it real by your belief And you can come to know the reality only when you drop all beliefs.

Remember, you can face reality only when you drop all beliefs, all conceptions about it, and you come naked, nude and empty; carrying no philosophy, no belief, nothing -- not even the belief that'I am'. That too is a belief. Just come empty, innocent, not knowing anything, and then the mystery will be revealed to you; not before it. And the ego is one of the most unreal things; but one wants to believe in it, one wants to be someone. To be nobody needs much courage. To be a nothingness needs infinite daring. Only a Buddha or a Jesus -- rare human beings -- come to realize that emptiness. And through that emptiness is realized the fullness of life.

The second question:

Question 2

SOMETIMES I FEEL I DON'T EXIST. WHEN I COME INTO A ROOM, NO ONE

SEES ME. WHEN I SPEAK, NO ONE HEARS. WHEN A FRIEND TOUCHES

ME, I AM NOT SOLID. I FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF QUICKSILVER THAT RUNS

AWAY FROM BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS. HOW CAN I LOSE MYSELF IF I AM NOT THERE?

It is a very basic question. It has to be understood in many steps.

First: nobody can see you except yourself, because the others can see only. your periphery, not you. They can see your body: they can see your eyes, your face, but not you. You are hidden deep behind. These are all curtains; these are all like clouds. Your light, your flame of life, is hidden deep behind. Nobody can penetrate it, you are impenetrable.

Except you, nobody can see you. Except you, nobody can touch you. Except you, nobody can feel who you are.

People can move around and around you, just on the periphery; nobody can reach to the center. Neither can you reach to anybody else's center. The innermost core is absolutely private. Even lovers cannot penetrate it. Deep in love, still you cannot penetrate it.

That is the misery of lovers: they would like to penetrate each other, they would like to go as far as possible, they would like to meet and mingle and become one, and all efforts fail. Whatsoever they do, they find that it doesn't succeed.

Somewhere they remain two. Somewhere the separateness remains. They can forget that they are separate, but they cannot become one.

That is the misery of love, the suffering, the anguish, because love would like to become one. Love would like to lose all separateness, all boundaries. But again and again; one comes to the boundary, the limitation.

So, this is the first basic fact to understand: that except for yourself, nobody can penetrate your privacy. That is the difference between a rock and you. The rock can be penetrated to the very center; it has no privacy. That is the difference between matter and consciousness.

Matter has no privacy; consciousness has privacy. Matter can be understood from the outside because matter has no inside. There is nothing like inner in matter; everything is outer. And in consciousness, just the opposite is the case: everything is inner and nothing is outer

Consciousness is an infinite inwardness.

Consciousness is depth, matter is surface. Matter is like the waves on the ocean; you, consciousness, you are the depth of the ocean. And this inwardness can never be penetrated because once it is penetrated it becomes a public thing; it becomes an object. It is no more inward, it becomes outward. If somebody can see you, you are reduced to an object, to a thing. You are not a man then. Try to understand this. That's why whenever somebody looks at you, stares at you, you feel uneasy.

In Hindi we call that type of man LUCHA. The word means: one who stares at you. The word LUCHA comes from LOCHAN; LOCHAN means: the eye. One who goes on staring at you, goes on staring at you, is violating, is trespassing. He is not civilized. He is incivil, uncultured.

There is a certain limit, a time limit: psychologists have come to discover that it is near about three seconds. If for three seconds you look at somebody there is no problem, it is just a casual look. Two strangers can look at each other passing on the road for three seconds. Up to that time, it is a casual look. If it is longer than that, then the look becomes not casual. Now you are trying to penetrate the other person. If you love the person it can be allowed, because lovers are open to each other. But if you don't love the person and the person doesn't love you, then you are offending. Then this is violence. Then you are trespassing on the privacy of the other person, and the other person will feel offended, will feel uneasy. He will retaliate. Why? -- watch: you are sitting alone in your room; you are totally a different person. Then somebody comes in; you immediately change because two eyes have come. You are no more in private. You are taking your bath in the bathroom, humming, making faces in the mirror, and then suddenly you become aware that somebody is looking through the keyhole; you change. That gaze, that look penetrates you like a sharp sword. You are no more -- the humming stops --

your privacy has been violated.

Why do you feel offended if somebody is looking through the keyhole? --

because you have been reduced to a thing. Your subjectivity has not been respected. You are not a thing. Your permission should be asked before somebody looks at you. Without your permission, somebody looking at you like a thief is offending you. He is creating a thing out of you. You are a consciousness, a subjectivity. You cannot be reduced to a thing.

Wherever you feel that you are reduced to a thing, you don't feel free, you don't feel good, you don't feel happy. You feel very, very suppressed. That's the misery in being a slave, or being a servant. You are reading a newspaper, sitting in your room; your servant passes by -- you don't even look at him, you don't even recognize that a man has passed. It is as if a robot has passed, a mechanism, not a man. You don't say hello, you don't say good morning. Nothing is needed, he is a servant. You treat the man as if he had no inwardness, he is just outside, a servant. A servant is a role; it is not his being. He feels -- it hurts that he has been taken as a thing.

You go to a prostitute: you pay because you will make love to her, she feels hurt because she is not a commodity-but you reduce her to a commodity. Life somehow has forced her to be a thing in the market. Even the ugliest woman is more beautiful than the most beautiful prostitute, because to be a woman and not to be a thing gives a grace, a dignity. Even the most beautiful prostitute is ugly. And people who go to her must be people who don't have any aesthetic sense. How can you make love to a woman if you have reduced her first to be a thing? You are making love to a dummy. You are making love to a dead body, a corpse. You are making love to your money. You are not making love to a person, because a person is an inwardness, and a person cannot be purchased.

Always watch around yourself, and you will see that the person is elusive. You can catch hold of the body, but not the soul. Nobody can do that.

The question is,'Sometimes I feel I don't exist. When I come into a room no one sees me' -- no one CAN see you. Just because nobody can see you, don't think that you are not. In fact, the vice-versa would have been a curse: if people could see you, you would be a thing, a chair, a rock.

Feel blessed that nobody can see you, howsoever they try. Even if they brought magnifying glasses they could not see you. You are elusive -- this is your subjectivity, this is your soul, this is your dignity. This is the beauty and the mystery of life: that nobody can see you except you. This is your privacy.

Beautiful is the world, because at least one thing is private -- your own consciousness. Otherwise everything would be sold in the marketplace. It cannot be objectified. That's what the Upanishads say: The knower cannot be known; the seer cannot be seen. The knower can feel himself, the seer can see himself.

Secondly: because you cannot be seen by others, how can you ask that God should be seen by you? Even a human being has such a privacy deep within him that nobody can penetrate it, so what to say about God?

People come to me and they say,'Tell us how to see God' -- foolish people. They think that they are very, very intelligent and they are asking a very intelligent question. Not even human consciousness has ever been seen; how can you see the consciousness of the whole? You can become one with it, but cannot see. You can dissolve in it, but you cannot see it.

l have heard an anecdote: When Yuri Gagarin came back from space, many questions were asked of him. One of those questions was,'Did you meet God in space?' Yuri Gagarin is reported to have said,'I have been out in space and didn't see God; therefore, there is no God.' Now these words are emblazoned on the walls of the anti-God museum in Leningrad. On the very gate; in gold letters, these words are emblazoned: I have been out in space and didn't see God; therefore, there is no God.

The first thing that Yuri Gagarin should ask is -- can HE be seen? Has anybody ever seen Yuri Gagarin's privacy, his innermost soul? God is not in outer space, because God is not matter. God is in the inner space because God is absolute consciousness. Man is partial consciousness; even that cannot be seen, so what to say about the total, about the whole?

Just because you cannot be seen, don't think that you are not. You are, but you are not an object. You are subjectivity. You are the seer, not the seen. You see, but you cannot be seen. Your nature is to be a seer, a witness; your nature is not to be an object.

'When I speak, no one hears. When a friend touches me, I am not solid.'

Nobody can touch you. All that can be touched is not you. And I know -- that which can be touched is not solid at all. The body is flowing, continuously flowing.

Ask the physiologists. They say that within seven years the body becomes completely new. Not even a single cell remains old. It is a river-like flow, continuously flowing. It looks solid, just the wall looks solid, but it is not. All the physicists say that the wall is in flux. The atoms are running at the same speed as light, moving continuously. The movement is so fast and the speed is so tremendous that you cannot see the movement. You cannot see the speed, and the wall appears to be solid.

Your body is a continuous flux -- like a river it is flowing. But the flux is so fast that you cannot see. And you think that it is substantial, solid -- it is not. Neither is your mind solid: thoughts are continuously moving. Like clouds, forms come and disappear.

But you? -- you are not a flux, you are not a changing phenomenon. You are eternity. I am not saying that you are solid. You are neither solid nor liquid; you transcend all categories. You are just space, tremendous emptiness. And out of that emptiness all of these flowers flower.

You are flowers of emptiness, forms of nothingness.

That's what we mean when we say,'God has no form, but you are all His forms.

God has no names, but all names belong to Him.' The formless descends into millions of forms, and the nameless takes millions of names.

Nobody can touch you, nobody can see you, nobody can hear you; because all these hearings, seeings, touchings -- they belong to the body, not to you. You are always the elusive, that which eludes; the mysterious, the unknown and the unknowable.

But because of this, don't start feeling that you are not. You are, but you are subjectivity, irreducible to an object. This is the whole effort of meditation: to bring you to the point where you can fall into your own subjectivity, where you can disappear into your own depth, where you can come to realize that which is abiding in you -- unborn, undying, eternal.

'How can I lose myself if I am not here?' -- just to understand this is to lose. The'I'

that you think you are is not you; and the you that you are, you have not even thought about. The'I' that you think you are is the'I' that is seen by others, touched by others, heard by others, loved by others, hated by others. The'I', the ego, is nothing but the opinions of others that you have gathered about yourself.

This'I' you are not, but you are identified with it. You are that'I' which has never been seen by anybody, which has never been touched by anybody. Uncorrupted, untouched, uncontaminated, virgin, absolutely pure, purity itself; that you are.

Drop that which you are not so that you can know that which you are. My whole teaching is: just to drop that which you are not. It looks paradoxical. I am telling you to renounce that which you don't have. Throw away that which you don't have so that which you are can become manifested to you, can be revealed to you.

The third question:

Question 3

WHEN I WORKED WITH GURDJIEFF PEOPLE, THEY TOLD ME TO MAKE

AN EFFORT, STRUGGLE, WORK. WHEN I WORKED WITH BUDDHIST

MASTERS, THEY TOLD ME NOT TO TO, JUST SIT. YOU SAY BOTH. I FIND

THAT AT TIMES I'M CONFUSED.

Yes. I say both, and I can understand your confusion.

Gurdjieff follows the path of will. He says,'Bring tremendous effort -- to the very climax, so that you can become crystallized. Struggle hard, make all the efforts that you can.'

If you go to Zen Masters, Buddhists, they believe in effortlessness, they believe in surrender. They don't believe in struggle. They say,'Drop all efforts. Just sit silently, don't do anything: non-doing. Someday it will happen; because it cannot be done, it happens.'

Both are clear-cut. If you follow Gurdjieff, you are against Zen people. If you follow Zen, you are against Gurdjieff. Things are clear-cut, logical. With me, confusion is bound to be there, because I say both. I say work hard. I say bring your total energy into effort so that one day effort can be dropped and you can become effortless. To me, will brings you to Surrender, and effort brings you to effortlessness. Let me give you a few examples, then it will be possible for you to understand.

Lin Chi, a great Zen Master, worked with his own Master for years. The Master taught him painting; through painting he was teaching him meditation. For twelve years, Lin Chi worked. Then he became perfect, he became the greatest painter. Then the Master said,'Now, your effort is complete. Now throw these brushes, these colors, these paintings, and forget all about painting.'

Twelve years' effort, day and night; and this Master was a hard taskmaster. After such effort, arduous hardship, something had been attained; and then the Master said,'Throw it away.' The Master has to be followed; Lin Chi threw the brushes, the ink, the paintings, and forgot all about it.

Six years passed and then the Master said,'Now you can start painting.'

Lin Chi asked,'What is the meaning of it?'

The Master said,'Now you have attained to effortless effort.'

First, one has to learn effort. Then one has to learn effortlessness. If in your art your art is present, then it is not great art. If you paint and effort is present, you are not a great master yet because the very effort shows that you are not one when you are painting. If you sing and in singing effort is present, then you are not a great singer. You are still trying hard to prove something. When you have really become a great singer, effort drops; you sing spontaneously. Your singing becomes like the singing of the birds; your singing becomes spontaneous.

The great musician is one who can touch, who can play on his organ not knowing what he is going to do. He himself is surprised when something happens. Not only is the audience the audience, he himself is part of the audience. The great master becomes a vehicle, surrendered. But to attain to that surrender, you have to purify yourself.

Tremendous effort is needed before you can become capable of dropping it. If you want to offer your will to God -- that is what surrender is -- first make it worthy. With ugly egos, stinking, you go to God and you want to offer it. Go with flowers. Let yourself become a flower, a fragrance first, and then.... If you just go and sit what do you think -- that something is going to happen? Nothing will happen; the market will go on moving in the mind. You can -go on sitting like a statue, dead.

When Bokuju reached his Master, the Master asked,'For what have you come?'

He said,'Get out! We have one thousand dead Buddhas already here.' Because he used to live in a temple which had one thousand stone Buddhas. He said,'Get out immediately! The place is already much too crowded with Buddhas. We don't need any more.'

What was he saying? He was saying,'You will be a stone Buddha if you just sit.'

You can learn the posture, you can learn the trick of sitting for hours, but what will happen to your mind? You may be sitting in a temple but you will not be there, you will be somewhere else. You are always there where your desire is.

To drop effort, you will have to learn what effort is. Gurdjieff is the beginning; Zen is the end. Gurdjieff is the ABCD; Zen is the XYZ. You can reach to Zen only if you have passed Gurdjieff. If you try to reach directly to Zen, you will never reach.

This is what is happening in the West now. Zen has been absolutely misunderstood. Go to Japan and see the Japanese monasteries: a Zen monk has to work hard for twenty years, twenty-four years, even thirty years. He has to meditate six hours, eight hours, ten hours, twelve hours, even eighteen hours per day. Then comes a moment when the Master says,'Now relax.' Only at the peak is relaxation allowed.

In the West, Zen has been very, very misunderstood. It is very easy to misunderstand Zen because the language is so poetic. The language is so paradoxical that in the West, a hippie-type Zen has come into existence.'There is nothing to do,' Zen people say. There is nowhere to go,' Zen people say. It fits perfectly with your laziness.

You sit, you be lazy; not doing anything, not going anywhere -- you will not become a Buddha. Buddha himself worked hard for six years in his last life. If you count his past lives, then for millions of lives he had been working hard. But in his last life, when he became enlightened, he also worked very hard. Then one day he dropped -- he became enlightened. When people asked,'How did you attain?' he said,'By dropping all effort.' He's true, but he can be misunderstood.

First, you need effort to drop it one day. You don't have effort yet; how can you drop it? If you want to sit silently, you will have to run for miles and miles, and only then can you sit silently. To drop thinking you will have to think for miles and miles and miles; only then can you understand the futility of it all. In that understanding, thinking stops.

So I may appear confusing to you; that is your misunderstanding. I am simply making it a whole. Gurdjieff is half -- just technique, just work. Zen is also misunderstood and has become half because of the misunderstanding -- doing nothing. I teach you to do, to do much, so that one day you can attain to the flower of non-doing. You can simply sit not doing anything, not even meditating.

There is the reality -- when you are not doing anything and all the ripples of the mind have subsided, and your whole being is simply silent. This is not laziness.

This is tremendous energy; unmotivated, not going anywhere. It is a reservoir of energy, not laziness. You are full of energy, tremendously at the peak of energy, but not going anywhere because there is no goal to reach, nothing to achieve, no desire left. Not even is God a desire now. Not even is MOKSHA, NIRVANA, the final attainment, a desire now. All desires have left; one is sitting at home.

In that moment, the whole comes to you. The whole existence caves in upon you from every direction and every dimension. You are accepted. You become a.lotus flower. Without any effort, you just float on the water. The water does not touch you, cannot touch you. You remain in the world and not of the world.

I teach you both effort and effortlessness, because unless you attain to effortless-effort, unless you attain to active passivity, unless you attain to a singing-silence -

- they look paradoxical -- unless you attain to an unmoving dance, you have not attained.

So please don't misinterpret it as confusion. What I am saying to you is a mystery. If you look at it logically, it will look like confusion. If you look at it through love, it will look a mystery. It is a mystery; you only need to have a look through love. Then you will immediately understand, and then you will connect the polarity, and you will see that much activity is needed to attain to passivity.

The fourth question:

Question 4

IT HAS BEEN A YEAR NOW SINCE I HAVE TAKEN SANNYAS, BUT WHEN I HEAR YOU DESCRIBE WHAT A SANNYASIN IS, I DON'T FEEL LIKE ONE.

This is how a sannyasin is always expected to feel. Once you feel that you have arrived, you have already gone astray. The very feeling that one has arrived is.

egoistic. One goes on learning and learning and learning, and it never becomes knowledge. One goes on moving and moving, one comes closer and closer to the goal, but the goal is never achieved because the goal is infinite -- it cannot be achieved, you cannot grab it.

If you are a real sannyasin, you will always be aware that much has to be done yet. You will never be satisfied. Life is so vast; only mediocre minds become satisfied. Life is so big; only small minds can think that they have attained. The more you understand, the more you will see that you don't understand. The more you know, the more you will know that you don't know. The ultimate of knowledge is to become as ignorant as a small child, not knowing anything. In that innocence is the goal.

Remain always discontented; then you grow. Then growth knows no limits. To become a God is to go on growing. God is not a thing, it is an on-going process. It is infinite movement. To become a God means: to realize that the existence goes on and on. It is a continuous discovery of new continents of being. And being is infinite, so it is not going to end any day. It is never going to end.

The journey starts, but never ends.

The sixth question:

Question 5

DAY BY DAY, NEAR YOU, I FIND MYSELF LIKING MY SADNESS. WHAT IS

HAPPENING TO ME, OSHO?

That's how it should be. If you can like your sadness also, then the sadness is no longer sad. The sadness is sad because you dislike it. The sadness is sad because you would not like to be in it. The sadness is sad because you reject it. Even sadness becomes a flowering of tremendous beauty, of silence, of depth, if you like it. Nothing is wrong; that's what I want you to be: to like everything that happens, even sadness. Even death has to be loved; only then will you transcend death. If you can accept death, love and welcome it, now death cannot kill you; you have transcended it.

When sadness comes, accept it. Listen to its song. It has something to give to you.

It has a gift which no happiness can give to you, only sadness can give it.

Happiness is always shallow; sadness, always deep. Happiness is like a wave, sadness is like the innermost depth of an ocean. In sadness you remain with yourself, left alone. In happiness you start moving with people, you start sharing In sadness you close your eyes; you delve deep within yourself. Sadness has a song -- a very deep phenomenon is sadness. Accept it. Enjoy it. Taste it without any rejection, and you will see that it brings many gifts to you which no happiness can ever bring.

And if you can accept sadness, it is no more sadness. You have brought a new quality to it. You will grow through it. Now it will not be a stone, a rock on the path blocking the way; it will become a step.

And remember always: a person who has not known deep sadness is a poor person. He will never have an inner richness. A person who has lived always happy, smiling, shallow, has not entered into the innermost temple of his being.

He has missed the innermost shrine.

Remain capable of moving with all the polarities. When sadness comes, be REALLY sad. Don't try to escape from it -- allow it, cooperate with it. Let it dissolve in you and you be dissolved in it. Become one with it. Be really sad: no resistance, no conflict, no struggle. When happiness comes, be happy: dance, be ecstatic. When happiness comes, don't try to cling to it. Don't say that it should remain always and always; that is the way to miss it. When sadness comes, don't say,'Don't come to me,' or,'If you have come, please go soon.' That is the way to miss it.

Don't reject sadness and don't cling to happiness. and soon you will understand that happiness and sadness are two aspects of the same coin. Then you will see that happiness also has a sadness in it, and sadness also has a happiness in it.

Then your inner being is enriched. Then you can enjoy everything: the morning and the evening also, the sunlight and the dark night also, the day and the night, the summer and the winter, life and death -- you can enjoy all.

When you don't have a choice, you are already transcendental. You have transcended. Then the duality doesn't divide you. You remain undivided. And this is ADWAIT; this is what Shankara means when he says 'non-dualism'; this is what the Upanishads teach: to be non-dual, to be one.

To be one means not to choose, because once you choose your choice divides you. You say,'I would like to be happy, and I don't want to be unhappy'; you are divided. You simply say,'Whatsoever happens, everything is welcome. My doors are open. Sadness comes; come be my guest. Happiness comes; come be my guest. I will be a host to everything, with no rejection, with no choice, with no like, no dislike.'

Suddenly, nobody can divide you. You have attained to an inner unity, to an inner melody, to an inner music, an inner harmony.

The seventh question:

Question 6

LOVE IS THE POINT. WHEN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT LOVE, I FEEL LIKE

I AM FACING A GUN. MAY I CALL YOU MY GANGSTER OF LOVE?

Exactly, that's what I am. And you are facing a gun; you are facing death.

To face love is to face death, because one who is not ready to die, to die to the ego, will not be capable of love. And you are not imprisoned by anybody else; it is your own ego, a false notion of yourself which is imprisoning you. Drop it! --

and the whole existence with all its beauty becomes available to you.

I will tell you one story. It happened: A man fell heir to some property near the seashore. He wandered for a while in quiet enjoyment of his land, then decided to stroll down to the ocean. With the pleasant anticipation of sighting waves and

-- sand, he followed the downward path, but he came to a sudden halt as a tall wall blocked his; path. With disappointment, he reflected to himself, -- 'Someone does not want me to trespass on his property. Well, it is his wall. There is nothing I can do.'

Over the days, he felt a mounting urge to have direct access to the sea. He made up his mind to locate the owner of the frustrating wall. Checking land records, he identified the wall's owner. He then knew who blocked his path, and who could therefore open the way. The wall was on his own property; it was his own.

We block our own path; we can unblock ourselves.

Nobody is barring your path. You are heir to infinite possibilities. You are walling your own path blocking your own path. So whenever I talk about love, of course, you immediately become aware of the wall that surrounds you.

Whenever I talk about love, you become aware of your imprisonment, naturally.

Whenever I talk about freedom, if you are a prisoner you become aware of your prison. And you don't like that, because every time freedom is talked about you become aware that you are a prisoner. That you don't like. People in the prison don't like to talk about freedom. That hurts.

Love is absolute freedom; it is freedom of consciousness. Love knows no bounds, no boundaries. And unless you drop all boundaries, you will not be able to know love. Love is another name for God, and a better name, because the name'God'

has been corrupted by the religious people. It has already become a commodity in the marketplace. Love is another name for God, and I say, a better one.

And your feeling is right: that whenever I talk about it, you feel as if you are facing a gun. You are facing it; don't try to escape. Accept the death in love, accept surrender, trust. Because as you are, you 're just a beggar. I would like you to be emperors. Only lovers are emperors, nobody else.

But for that, you will have to pay a price. It is nothing in fact: the price is to drop the ego.

The eighth question:

Question 7

I HAVE IMBIBED MUCH OF YOUR GRACE BY WAY OF SHAKTIPAT, BUT

AMIDST ATTRACTION AND DISTRACTION, I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO

RETAIN IT. DOES THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF GAIN AND LOSS

CONTINUOUSLY GO ON? UNDER SUCH A PLIGHT, IT HAS BECOME VERY

DIFFICULT TO TAKE A JUMP. UNLESS YOU VIRTUALLY PULL ME OUT OF

THE GRAVITY OF EGO, THE FINAL ENLIGHTENMENT SEEMS TO BE

IMPOSSIBLE.

The final enlightenment can never be forced by anybody on you. It is your freedom to choose it or reject it. At the most, I can give you an invitation; nothing more can be done. And the whole problem is that you are not surrendering. On the contrary, you are trying to use me; and these two things are totally different.

When you surrender, you surrender. Then you don't bother about the final enlightenment. Then you say,'Whatsoever happens is good' If you want to use me, then you are always worried:'The enlightenment is not happening, the SAMADHI is not happening'; this is not happening, that is not happening. And then, by and by, you start feeling a certain grudge, a complaint against me, as if I am not pulling you out. Nobody can pull you out; only you can jump out of it. In the first place, nobody has forced and placed you there. You have entered into it, and you will have to come out of it. I can give you a hand, but you will have to hold my hand. In fact, my hand will not bring you out; that will be just an excuse.

I will tell you one story.

A Quaker put a sign on a vacant piece of ground next to his home.'I will give this to anyone who is really satisfied.' A wealthy farmer read it as he rode by.

Stopping, he said,'Since my Quaker friend is going to give that lot away, I may as well have it as anyone else. I am rich, I have all I need, so I am able to qualify.' He went up to the door and explained why he had come.'And is thee really satisfied?' asked the Quaker.'Yes, I have all I need and am well satisfied.''Friend,'

rejoined the Quaker,'if thee is satisfied, what does thee want with my lot?'

If something is really happening to you, if you feel that through SHAKTIPAT

something is happening to you by being near me, then you will forget all about final enlightenment. Because, even that much is too much. You will feel grateful for it. You will not ask more. You will say,'I was not worthy even of this. I am grateful.' And if you can feel that, more will become possible; because one who feels grateful becomes capable of achieving more, attracting more.

Through gratefulness you attract grace. Gratefulness is the magnetic force that brings grace to you, but you don't seem to be satisfied with it. In fact, the same questioner has been asking many questions about final enlightenment again and again. I have not been answering, because those questions are meaningless.

Be here and now in this moment with me, and forget about the future. If you can be here and now, totally with me, happy, grateful, the future is bound to come of its own accord. Enlightenment comes; nobody can bring it. You just be ready.

Open your doors, windows; the wind will blow and the wind will bring many fragrances; the sun will come and the sunrays will enter into the darkest corner of your house. Nobody can bring those winds, nobody can bring the sunrays.

You can simply remain open, that's all.

Being open is all.

And remember the human tendency, the tendency of the human mind, that first it clings to worldly things: money, power, prestige; then it leaves them, frustrated. Then it starts clinging to God, SAMADHI, enlightenment, MOKSHA; but the mind is the same.

All clinging must go. All desire must disappear. Only in a desireless moment, that for which you are asking. happens -- but only in a desireless moment.

People come to me and they say,'Teach us how to be desireless.' Now they are desiring desirelessness, which is foolish, which is not possible. You cannot desire desirelessness. You can simply understand the futility of desire -- that it leads nowhere. Understanding it, it drops. Suddenly you are desireless.

Let me tell you a story, a very famous and very old story.

BHAGAWAT PUBRANA tells the story of a crow who was flying with a piece of meat in its beak. Twenty crows were pressing it, pursuing it, fighting with it, trying to grab the meat. Flying high to escape them, it became tired, wounded.

Suddenly, it dropped the meat, and the twenty crows flew down shrieking, fighting for it. Then the crow, flying high, thought,'How good it is to carry nothing. The whole sky belongs to me.'

He was just carrying a piece of meat in his mouth, and that piece of meat was creating the whole trouble: twenty crows were fighting, hurting him, trying to grab the piece of meat. Once the piece dropped, those fighters all went away. The crow was left alone. And beautiful is the sentence: The whole sky belongs to me.

Once desires disappear, the meat of desire is dropped, the whole sky belongs to you. That is the meaning of enlightenment. Enlightenment is not a thing, it is the infinite space, without desire....

The whole sky belongs to you.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #9

Chapter title: Eli, Eli, Lamasabachthani

29 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

Matthew 27

26 THEN RELEASED HE BARABBAS UNTO THEM, AND WHEN HE HAD

SCOURGED JESUS, HE DELIVERED HIM TO BE CRUCIFIED.

46 AND ABOUT THE NINTH HOUR JESUS CRIED OUT WITH A LOUD

VOICE, SAYING: ELI, ELI, LAMASABACHTHANI? THAT IS TO SAY: MY

GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?

47 SOME OF THEM THAT STOOD THERE, WHEN THEY HEARD THAT

SAID: THIS MAN CALLETH FOR ELIAS.

48 AND STRAIGHTWAY ONE OF THEM RAN AND TOOK A SPONGE AND

FILLED IT WITH VINEGAR AND PUT IT ON A REED, AND GAVE HIM TO

DRINK.

49 THE REST SAID: LET BE. LET US SEE WHETHER ELIAS WILL COME TO

SAVE HIM.

50 JESUS, WHEN HE HAD CRIED AGAIN WITH A LOUD VOICE, YIELDED

UP THE GHOST.

51 AND BEHOLD, THE VEIL OF THE TEMPLE WAS RENT IN TWAIN FROM

THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM, AND THE EARTH DID QUAKE, AND THE

ROCKS RENT;

52 AND THE GRAVES WERE OPENED; AND MANY BODIES OF THE SAINTS

WHICH SLEPT AROSE,

53 AND CAME OUT OF THE GRAVES AFTER HIS RESURRECTION, AND

WENT INTO THE HOLY CITY, AND APPEARED UNTO MANY.

NOTHING is new under the sun, and nothing is old also. It all depends on the mind. If the mind is old, then everything is old; if the mind is new, then everything is new. And a new mind is a no-mind; only an old mind is a mind.

Mind means the past, the accumulated past, the accumulated dust of the past.

Mind is a rut, a routine. It is never new. It goes on repeating itself: it is like a gramophone record, stuck. The needle is stuck somewhere, and it goes on repeating the same line, the same line. Centuries have passed, but the mind continues behaving in the same pattern. It killed Socrates, poisoned him. It crucified Jesus, it killed Mansur, and nothing has changed yet. If Jesus comes again, he is going to be crucified.

I have heard a very beautiful story. It is a Sufi joke of tremendous import: A Bektasi dervish -- Bektasi is an order of Sufis, one of the most important orders, very revolutionary -- a Bektasi dervish approached a certain bishop and said,'I have heard of a young man who harangues crowds, advocates their breaking the law, claims supernatural connections, performs miracles, and contradicts himself.'

'Enough,' said the bishop,'he shall be tried, charged with blasphemy and upsetting public order. If he does not recant, he may be put to death as a heretic and a corruptor. Just tell me his name and I shall arrange his arrest.'

'I wish you could realize how impressed I am by your competence,' said the Bektasi dervish.'His name is Jesus.'

Even Christians would kill him if he came again. It is not only that Jews killed him; it was nothing to do with Jews. Let me repeat it: it had nothing to do with Jews. It has something to do with the mind itself. If he comes again, Christians will crucify him, because he will bring again the new and the fresh; and the mind is old, and is always afraid of the new and the fresh. He will again bring the unknown, and the mind is the known, and the known is always apprehensive of the unknown. He will again bring insecurity, and the mind is always in search of security. He will bring chaos and the mind wants a comfortable, convenient life, although a comfortable, convenient life is not a real life -- the more comfortable, the less alive. The most comfortable life is in the grave.

If you are alive there is inconvenience. If you are alive there are challenges. If you are alive then every moment you have to face reality, encounter reality. Every moment you have to be ready to change and to move. Reality has no security and that is its beauty. Life has no security and that is its beauty. Because there is no security, there is adventure. Because the future is unknown, nobody knows what is going to happen the next moment. That's why there is challenge, growth, adventure. If you miss adventure, you miss all. If your life is not that of an adventure, of a search into the unknown, then you are living in vain.

Jesus, or a man like Jesus, always brings the unknown to you. He always brings the challenge. The comfortable mind, the settled mind, feels danger. Either Jesus will kill your mind, or you will have to kill Jesus to save your mind. These are the only two alternatives. Either you can go with Jesus -- then by and by you will dissolve -- or you will have to kill Jesus before he attracts you.

Let me say it in this way: Jews killed Jesus not because he was against them, but because deep down, they were attracted towards him -- a deep attraction, a deep magnetism. That was the only way to protect themselves. Jews were not trying to kill him, they were simply trying to protect themselves. This man was dangerous; he was opening a window into adventure, He was calling them for a challenge, to go on a hazardous journey, to a pilgrimage without any maps, on a pilgrimage which wasuncharted. He was calling them to come to the wild sea, and they were secure on their banks. They had made small houses of convenience, and they were clinging to the bank. And this man went on calling them, this man went on haunting them, this man became a constant danger.

They killed him to protect themselves. Don't be angry against them. If you are angry against them you miss the whole point

Jesus will be killed again if he comes -- now Christians will kill him because the same problem will arise again. Now Christianity is a settled thing, and religion can never be a settled thing.

Religion is a continuity in revolution; a continuous revolution. It is never a fixed thing. It is always a process, because religion is life. A church is just a graveyard.

Dead religion becomes a church; dead religion becomes Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism. Alive religion is Jesus, Buddha: it has a totally different flavor.

Christians will do the same because he again brings the wildness into your settled world. He again brings the chaotic into your so-called ordered life. He brings disorder, he is an anarchist. He brings anarchy. He is a rebel who destroys all with which you feel comfortable. Why is it so? Why is he so much against law, order? -- because he knows a greater law, because he knows a greater order.

Let me explain it to you. There are two types of order in the world: one man-made, another divine. Man-made order is just a make believe. It is not really order, it only hides disorder. Deep down the anarchy continues. On the surface you are befooled, as if there is an order. Just the opposite is the case with the divine order. On the surface there is chaos, and deep down in the depths there is order. On the surface there are great waves, and the ocean is silent deep within.

The center has a cosmos in it, and the periphery has a chaos on it. That is divine order. The human order is chaos within, a cosmos just on the periphery, skin deep at the most.

Jesus brings disorder, chaos, because he knows that unless your periphery is in disorder, you will not be able to move towards your innermost core. When your periphery is in disorder, there is no way to go except within. When outside there is disorder and anarchy, where do you move, where do you go, where do you search and seek for a home? -- you start moving inwards, you come to your center. When you think that everything is okay outside, nothing is wrong, who bothers to go in? Only when the outside life is in chaos is the inner life born. The inner life is possible only in an outer chaos.

All great religious people are rebels; they have to be. They have to destroy your illusion of order so that you can come to seek and search for the real order. It is what Lao Tzu calls the Tao.'Tao' means the real order which is not man-made, which is just part of reality, intrinsic to it. It is not the laws that man has managed to make, but the Law out of which man is born. Remember, there are many man-made laws, but there is only one Law, the Tao; what Buddha calls the DHAMMA.

Jesus brings disorder to make you alert. He is like an alarm he wants to awake you but you feel offended. He disturbs your sleep, and maybe you were having a beautiful dream. He disturbs your dream. You want him not to disturb you. And yet there is a deep attraction because his call appeals to your depth; it is from depth to depth. Your mind says no, but your innermost being starts saying yes --

that is the fear. The Jews were not afraid of what Jesus was saying, the Jews were afraid because they were feeling, deep down, an attraction, a call, an appeal. By murdering Jesus they defended themselves. They defended their own periphery against their own center. Or, you can say, they defended the man-made order against the God-made order. They defended the law of Moses against the law of God Himself. That's what is meant when Jesus says,'Moses brings law to you, I bring love.' Love is the Tao.

Have you watched? -- love is the most undisciplined and yet the most disciplined thing in the world; the most anarchic and yet the most disciplined thing in the world. When you love a person you don't follow any rules; all rules are thrown overboard. When you love a person, rules are not needed. They are needed only when you don't love a person. But then love brings its own rule, then love brings its own order. If you love me, then that very love brings a certain discipline. If you don't love me, then rules are to be forced. In old Indian scriptures it is said that whenever there is a Master, there is discipline. It is not that he forces discipline; just his presence and the love that he creates around him, brings its own discipline. Love has no discipline, and yet, love and ONLY

love has the real discipline. When Jesus says,'I bring love to you,' he means: I bring a certain discipline of the innermost being, of the center.

But people who were the guardians of the law naturally became afraid. They had to defend -- the society, the 'law, the discipline, the temple, the religion -- Jesus was a danger to everything. When they started to understand, or misunderstand Jesus, when they heard him, by and by they became aware of certain things --

certain things which were their securities, which were their comforts; certain things to which they were clinging and avoiding life; certain things, like walls, prisons, in which they were hiding and feeling safe. Jesus started shaking them out of their sleep. They could not see who Jesus was, they could not see him directly. They could see him only in relation to the securities which were going to be broken by this man. He was a tremendous phenomenon, but they could see only a few points.

And that is how it always happens. What I am saying to you, you are not listening to its totality. Only to a few things do you listen which are in some way related to you in some way disturb you, or in some way console you. You don't listen to me, you listen to me in reference to yourself. And because of that reference, everything becomes confused. You lose clarity.

Let me tell you a story.

There is a story about a man who went to a dictionary compiler and asked him why he was so interested in sex. The lexicographer was quite surprised, and said,'Wherever did you get that idea?'

'From your own writings!' said the angry visitor.

'But I have only written that one dictionary. That's all of my writing,' said the author.

'I know,' said the visitor,'and that is the book which I have read.'

'But the book contains a hundred thousand words, and out of those I don't suppose that more than a dozen words are about sex.'

'What are you talking about all the other words for,' said the visitor,'when I was asking you about the words for sex!'

One hundred thousand words, but this man had read only the twelve words about sex. He must have been a celibate, he must have been suppressing sex. Out of a hundred thousand words, only a few words are important to him. In fact, for other words he is almost blind; only for those few words is he not blind.

When you read a book, you never read the book that the author has written. You read some other book that you can read. When you listen to me, it is not to what I am saying that you listen. You may hear what I am saying, but you don't listen to what I am saying. You listen only to certain things which are in a certain way relevant to your mind. Hearing is not difficult, listening is the problem. Listening means that you don't choose.

When Jesus, or a man like Jesus, explodes, the explosion is vast. He brings millions of suns in him; the light is tremendous and infinite. But you start thinking about yourself. You become worried about your own small luxuries, comforts, conveniences -- trivia. You become afraid about these things and you start defending yourself because this man attracts your center. Mind is the periphery, being is the center -- this man attracts your being. And let me tell you: when you crucify Jesus, you crucify your own being in favor of your mind.

When you kill Jesus, you kill your own being in favor of your periphery. When Jews killed Jesus on that day, they decided to be in favor of the mind against their own being. Jesus was their essence. He was the very essence, the very flowering of their whole history. He was the very purpose of their whole being here. But they decided -- they decided in favor of the mind, and crucified being.'

Jesus is BEING crucified.

And this is not only an historic thing that once happened, and now you are finished with it. It is something that is happening in every moment of everybody's life. Remember It: you are always crucifying your Jesus in favor of your mind. Stop that crucifixion. If you understand me rightly, what I am saying to you, you will stop that crucifixion.

I have heard a story: An incompetent carpenter once built a creaky house for himself, and maintained it carelessly. The roof threatened to collapse, the floors were rough to walk upon. His neighbors warned him of the dangers and the unattractiveness of his house, but he angrily refused to listen because it was not only a house, it was also his ego-trip. It was his house, and he had made it.

Whenever anybody said anything against the house, he took it as if that man was against him.

This is how mind reacts.

Finally getting tired of unwanted advice, he placed plugs in his ears. The warnings continued, but now the carpenter only smiled, not hearing a word.

Inevitably, one day his house collapsed. Fortunately the man escaped with only minor injuries. His neighbors scolded. They said,'See? We warned you. You are punished by your own stubbornness.' The carpenter just smiled pleasantly; he still wore his ear-plugs. Incredibly, in spite of the disaster, the carpenter went right back to the same foolishness.

Ego is very stubborn. Even if you feel that you have committed a mistake, you don't realize it. You try to rationalize in a thousand and one ways, to defend, to prove that it is not a mistake. And you again do it, hoping that this time everything is going to be okay. This is hoping against hope.

Incredibly, in spite of the disaster, the carpenter went right back to the same foolishness -- he built and lived in another hazardous house. He was again warned, but never changed his perilous way. That was because he had, by this time, taken his ear-plugs as both a normal and an easy way of life.

This explains the tragic life of men and women who insist on wearing psychological ear-plugs. And remember, not only are Jews obsessed with psychological ear-plugs, everybody on this earth is. Whenever your ego is in danger, you stop listening. Or, you start listening to something which is not said at all. Or, you start interpreting in favor of your own ego. Anybody who is in search of truth has to understand these tricks, because these tricks are the traps.

These tricks are the ways in which you will miss the path. The path is very straight and clear, but your mind is very cunning and it goes on creating new, illusory paths; and you go on listening to it. And you have listened to it always and always, and always it has proved to be in the wrong But it is your mind. You think it is you; it is your ego. Just see the point of it.

Jesus' message was very simple in a way, straight. Anybody could have understood it, but nobody understood it. And people became so enraged that they killed this simple and innocent man. He had not committed any sin. He was not a criminal, but he was treated as a criminal; not only like a criminal, he was treated, worse than that. This is the point of today's sutras.

Three persons were going to be killed on that day: two thieves and Jesus. One of the thieves' name was Barabbas. Pontius Pilate was hoping -- because that was the tradition, the convention, that the Governor General would be allowed to forgive one person each year -- he was hoping that the Jews would ask that Jesus be forgiven, released, and should not be killed. But the Jews asked that Jesus be killed and Barabbas, a criminal, be released. They treated Jesus even worse than a criminal.

What was his crime? -- the criminal had broken only one law, or at the most two laws; Jesus was breaking all the laws. He was not a criminal. In fact, he had not done anything wrong, but he was dangerous. The criminal was not dangerous; at the most he was a thief, or at the most he may have been a murderer -- but the whole society was not at stake, the whole society was not in danger. He may have been a law-breaker, but he was not against law. Even people who are criminals are for law; they feel guilty, and they know that they have done wrong.

This man Jesus was dangerous. He had not done anything wrong, but he was against all law.

He is for love, and against law.

A thousand and one criminals are less than this man's danger. All the criminals together are less than the danger this man brings, because he is destroying the very foundation of your society. Maybe your society is nothing but a madhouse, but you think that it is your society. And this man is destroying the very foundations.

They asked that a criminal should be forgiven, but Jesus had to be crucified. He was the greatest criminal, and he had not committed a crime at all! But he was bringing a revolution in the thinking of people, he was bringing a revolution in their minds. The greatest revolution there is, is the revolution for love and against law; because law creates the rigidity of life, and love gives it again a melting. Law makes your life frozen, love melts it through its warmth. Law is ugly. Jesus was not saying,'Be unlawful.' That is where the misunderstanding lay: he was against law, but he was not for lawlessness. He was against law and for love. He was against law, but he was not saying to become lawless. He was saying,'Rise above law, go beyond it; reach to the heights of love.' Then there is no need for law -- your love will take care. Love is enough, the law is not needed.

I have overheard two small children walking on the road. The elder one was saying,'This is Sunday, and we should not work.' They must have been Christian.

The younger one said,'Look at the policeman. He is working, he is on duty. And the priest says that those who work on Sunday will not go to heaven. What about policemen?' The elder one said,'Policemen are not needed there.'

When love exists, law is not needed. Law is a poor substitute for love. Jesus was giving a higher law, and he was misunderstood. People thought he was destroying their law, their society, their structure, but he was giving a more fluid structure.

I go on saying that I am against all character: you can misunderstand me. You can think that I am teaching characterlessness. No, I am simply teaching a higher character -- a character which is not rigid, a character which is not fixed, a character which is not dead; a character which is alive like a river, a character which flows; a character which knows no boundaries, a character which can respond spontaneously; a character which is not a clinging to the past but is always a response in the present. The greatest men of character are always characterless. Buddha and Jesus, they are lawless, characterless, unsocial, because they bring a higher law into the world. But your eyes cannot rise that high, and you cannot see what they bring. They bring sky to us, and we have become so accustomed to creeping on the earth in our small holes that we cannot see the freedom that they bring their freedom seems risky.

It happened once: There were five fools travelling together. They were tired.

They sat down against a tree, and all of them stretched out their legs. They said,'What are we going to do now? We won't be able to get up anymore. We are no longer able to tell which of those feet belong to who.' They were really in deep trouble -- 'What are we going to do now?' They started crying and weeping:'We will just have to stay here forever and ever. We are stuck. Now nobody knows which legs belong to whom.' There they were, crying and weeping, getting hungry and thirsty, and they couldn't get up.

A man passed by, and he said,'What are you doing in there? Why are you crying and weeping? What has happened to you, what unfortunate accident has happened to you?'

'Well, here we are,' said the fools,'we can't get up.'

'But why can't you get up? I can't see any problem,' said the man.'You look perfectly healthy.'

'Because we don't know which feet belong to which.'

'For goodness sakes! How much will you give me if I tell you?'

'Well, said the fools,'we will give you something, as long as you tell us which of those feet belong to which.'

He took a big bag-needle and began to stick them with it. He stuck one of them:'Ouch!'

'That's yours -- pull it in!'

He stuck another one:'Ouch!'

'That is yours, that one -- pull it in!'

He stuck all of them the same way until he had the very last one on his feet.

That is the situation of humanity. The whole of humanity has been behaving very foolishly. Somebody is needed to hit you hard, to make you aware. And whenever somebody comes and hits you out of his compassion, you get angry, you misunderstand him.

Jesus was hammering people on their heads to bring a certain truth home: that nobody is imprisoning you except yourselves, that nobody has made this mess of your life except yourself, that nobody has prepared this trap for you -- it is you yourself. This ugly state of affairs, this miserable state of affairs, is your own doing: that's the whole message. But whenever somebody says,'This is your doing,' you want to retaliate. You would like him to say that somebody else is responsible; that saves your face. Whenever somebody says to you that only you are responsible, you retaliate, react you become angry. You? -- how can you be responsible? You are so wise. And to think oneself wise is the definition of being a foolish man.

Now, the sutras:

THEN RELEASED HE BARABBAS UNTO THEM, BECAUSE THEY HAD

ASKED FOR HIM. AND WHEN HE HAD SCOURGED JESUS, HE DELIVERED

HIM TO BE CRUCIFIED.

AND ABOUT THE NINTH HOUR JESUS CRIED OUT WITH A LOUD VOICE, SAYING: ELI, ELI, LAMASABACHTHANI? THAT IS TO SAY: MY GOD, MY

GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?

This sentence has tremendous import and has to be understood very deeply and carefully. Whether you will be able to understand Jesus or not, much depends on your understanding of this sentence. There are many interpretations.

A few think that Jesus became doubtful. They think, a few interpreters think, that he was also hoping for a miracle: that God would descend from heaven and save him, and there would be a great miracle. And that miracle did not happen, and he was just on the verge of being crucified. He was put on the cross, and he cried,'Eli, Eli! -- My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?' -- What wrong have I done that you have forsaken me? Why have you left me alone? Why are you not doing something to save me? Where is your promise, where is your miracle?

No, this interpretation is wrong. Jesus is not saying anything like that. He was not doubtful, and he was not expecting any miracle. Others were expecting, right; the crowd was expecting right; but Jesus was not expecting any miracle.

Because a man like Jesus knows that just to be, is the greatest miracle; there is no greater miracle possible. Just to be is enough, more than enough. You cannot ask for more. Just to be alive amidst so much death, to be alive in the ocean of death is the greatest miracle. In so much darkness, dense darkness, to be conscious and alive is all. What more can you ask for? No, he was not waiting for any miracle.

Then why did he say,'Why hast thou forsaken me?' This happens to everybody who comes to the last step to one who comes to the very verge of samadhi, the very verge of enlightenment. This happens to everybody. It is as if a river is just going to flow into the ocean -- the known is going to meet the unknown, life is going to embrace death. It is natural, it is absolutely natural. It is not a doubt, it is not anything like scepticism, it is not losing trust. No, it is simply human that before one dissolves, one has a shivering, a fear. One is being uprooted, uprooted from life.

It is the same fear that a child feels when he is going to be born. When the child is going to just come out of the womb, EVERY child I tell you, says,'Eli, Eli -- my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?' He had a different life up to then.

Now, that whole life is being uprooted, and one never knows where one is going.

One faces eternal abyss, one faces a bottomless abyss. One starts trembling. That is the humanity of Jesus.

In Jesus' cry,'Eli, Eli,' the whole of humanity cried that day. That's what is beautiful in Jesus. Buddha would not do that; he would not cry. It is as if he had no human part in him -- all stone, marble. Jesus is a man of flesh and bone, just like you and me; a fragile being facing eternal abyss. It is not because of any doubt that he cried -- because if there had been doubt he would not have said,'Eli, Eli! -- My God, my God!' He would not have said that. If there had been doubt, he would have said the thing that Nietsche said after twenty centuries:'God is dead. There is no God.'

If he had been waiting for any miracle, that would have been the moment to say,'You don't exist, and I was befooled by my own illusions, my own dreams.' If Jesus had been sceptical, he would have said,'There is no God anymore. I was wrong to believe in you; you don't exist.' Or, he would have challenged,'This is the point to prove whether you are or not. NOW do the miracle and prove that you are!'

It happened to one philosopher, Edmund Burke: he went to church when there was a congregation. He stood just before the congregation, took out his pocket watch and said,'I will believe in God if He can stop this watch, just now.' He looked upwards, and said,'If you are, if you exist, please do at least this much of a miracle. This is not a big miracle I am asking for. Stop this watch.' And the watch did not stop. It is proved that God doesn't exist. Edmund Burke was not asking for a big miracle, but a small miracle; very small, nothing much. But the question is not whether you ask for a big miracle or a small miracle; the question is: are you asking for a proof? Then the proof cannot be supplied, because the existence is not at all concerned to prove itself to anybody. In fact, those who try to prove that they are, are in a certain way suspicious of their being. God is not suspicious, so whatsoever you say, He goes on quietly, silently smiling. He does not bother. He is, and what is the need to prove it?

Jesus was not asking for proof, otherwise he would not have said,'My God, my God' -- God remains still 'my' -- 'why hast thou forsaken me?' This is simple humanity, fragile humanness. Left alone, it comes to everybody; this crucifixion comes to everybody. If you go deeper in meditation, one day you will find the meaning of this sentence,'Eli, Eli, lamasabachthani.' One day you will find, moving slowly, slowly, slowly, that you come to the point where you are dissolving, disappearing. This is the point of crucifixion, and you will also cry,'My God, why have you forsaken me? I am disappearing, evaporating!' It is simply an indication of fragile humanness, nothing else. And it shows the authenticity of the experience because it happens only when one really faces that moment of total cessation, crucifixion, where the ego completely disappears. One is left in total emptiness. There is no doubt in it, there is no asking for any miracle. It is not a question, it is a statement about Jesus' humanity:'I am a fragile human being, son of man, and I am afraid. I am trembling, and I would like to go back.'

But there is no going back, because that is the point of no return. So, except for crying, what else can you do?'My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?'

SOME OF THEM THAT STOOD THERE, WHEN THEY HEARD THAT SAID: THIS MAN CALLETH F OR ELIAS.

That's what I mean: whenever you hear a man like Jesus, you interpret him in your own way. Elias is an old prophet. The people interpreted that he was calling for Elias. He was calling for the living God, who is now, and people thought he was calling for Elias who was sometime in the past. The mind thinks of the past, a no-mind responds to the present.

Jesus was calling for God who is right now, and who is always now; who has, no past and no future, who is just present. He was, calling to God, the present, the living, just now facing him. But people thought he was calling to Elias, the old prophet.

SOME OF THEM THAT STOOD THERE, WHEN THEY HEARD THAT SAID: THIS MAN CALLETH FOR ELIAS.

AND STRAIGHTWAY ONE OF THEM RAN AND TOOK A SPONGE AND

FILLED IT WITH VINEGAR AND PUT IT ON A REED, AND GAVE HIM TO

DRINK.

THE REST SAID: LET BE. LET'S SEE WHETHER ELIAS WILL COME TO SAVE

HIM.

JESUS, WHEN HE HAD CRIED AGAIN WITH A LOUD VOICE, YIELDED UP

THE GHOST.

Once more he cried,'My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?' Why twice?

First he cried; he must have hoped that there would be an answer, that there would be a response. Nothing happened.

Existence is silent. You hear only your echoes.

There was no answer coming from existence. He cried once more -- maybe he had not been heard? -- existence never answers. Not that it doesn't answer; it never answers verbally, it never answers your mind. It answers, in an existential way. It answered, but Jesus could not follow at that moment -- at that moment, nobody is able to follow. At that moment one simply trembles and sees earth slipping away underneath, and sees oneself evaporating. And there is no answer coming.

Only later on, when Jesus was resurrected, could he then understand the answer.

The answer is given in terms of existence, not in terms of intellect, mind. It is not verbal. The answer is resurrection. Die totally, and then you resurrect. And that was the answer:'I have not forsaken you. I am always there deep within you; how can I forsake you? -- because I am you. How can I forsake you? How can I go away from you? -- because I am your innermost core. That which has died on the cross is neither you nor I. It is just a vehicle, a house, a dream you were using.

It is neither you nor I.' And these people who had crucified Jesus, they had crucified only the body, not the spirit. The spirit cannot be crucified. It is immortal. But that answer will come a little later on, when Jesus has died. He cried again:

JESUS, WHEN HE HAD CRIED AGAIN WITH A LOUD VOICE, YIELDED UP

THE GHOST.

Once more he tried to find out the answer, any response from the whole, from the ocean. No response coming, he died, he disappeared.

This is what Buddha calls NIRVANA, the cessation of the flame. He surrendered.

That is the meaning of 'he yielded up the ghost' -- he surrendered. He said,'Yes, thy will be done. Let it be so, as you will.'

AND BEHOLD, THE VEIL OF THE TEMPLE WAS RENT IN TWAIN FROM

THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM, AND THE EARTH DID QUAKE, AND THE

ROCKS RENT;

A man like Jesus is the very pinnacle of consciousness, a cherished flower. He is someone who has been coming up, coming up for centuries after so many births, growing, growing. And then comes the flowering. The whole existence celebrates, the whole existence feels the glory of God. And when such a man drops dead, leaves the body, a sadness spreads all over existence. It has to be so...

because we are not separate from each other; we are interlinked, we are joined together. We are one mass of consciousness. Individuality is just an egoistic notion. So whenever a Jesus flowers, the whole existence feels the blessing; and whenever a Jesus drops his body, the whole existence feels the sadness. These are the symbolic ways of saying this:'And behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom, and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent.' It has to be so.

It is said about Mohammed that whenever he would walk in the desert, a cloud would follow him to give him shelter, like an umbrella. It may not be historical, but it is significant. It is poetic, symbolic -- it SAYS something.

It is said about Buddha that when he became enlightened, trees flowered out of season. They may not have flowered; this may not be a scientific statement. But a statement need not be scientific to be true, a statement need not be historical to be true. There are planes and planes of truth. There is a certain quality in a poetic truth also. It is not historic, it is not scientific, but it is true all the same. It is a POETIC truth. And a poetic truth is on a higher plane than any scientific truth, because scientific truths go on changing; a poetic truth is eternal. Scientific truth is more or less a fact. A poetic truth is not a fact but a deep significance, a meaning, a myth.

It is said about Mahavir that when he would walk and move from one village to another -- and he was nude, a naked man with no shoes, no clothes -- sometimes thorns would be on the path: they would immediately turn to protect his feet.

Thorns may not have done this -- one cannot expect that much from thorns. Even from human beings it is too much to expect. But still, the idea is significant. It simply shows one thing: that we are members of each other. Thorns are also part of us, and we are part of thorns. Flowers are also part of us, and we are part of flowers. We are one family. We are not strangers, separate islands: a vast continent of being, interrelated.

The earth may not have quaked, but I say that the gospel is true. And whenever there is any contradiction between a poetic truth and a scientific truth, always believe the poetic. The scientific is very ordinary. To believe in the poetic truth is extraordinary. It gives you vision, it raises you to a higher plane of being. Just to trust a poetic truth, you start flying, as if suddenly wings have grown to you.

You are no longer moving on the earth, you fly in the sky. When a truth has wings, it becomes poetic.

AND, BEHOLD, THE VEIL OF THE TEMPLE WAS RENT IN TWAIN FROM

THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM, AND THE EARTH DID QUAKE, AND THE

ROCKS RENT;

AND THE GRAVES WERE OPENED, AND MANY BODIES OF THE SAINTS

WHICH SLEPT AROSE.

Of course, it should be so. Even if it had not been so, it should have been so.

Whenever a Jesus is crucified, all the saints of the past must feel it in their graves; they have to feel it.

In fact, Buddha has said that whenever a Buddha is born, not only do the past Buddhas feel it, but even the future Buddhas feel it, those who are going to be.

Because time is a human concept, but in fact there is no time. It is eternal. It is one whole, one piece.

AND THE GRAVES WERE OPENED, AND MANY BODIES OF THE SAINTS

WHICH SLEPT AROSE.

Jesus being crucified was such a shock. It was such a shock, such a sword-like, sharp penetration into the being. It was not only Jesus crucified, it was all religion crucified that day, all saints crucified in Jesus.

What is the meaning of it? The meaning is that the present contains the whole past, this moment contains the whole past. Nothing disappears, nothing CAN

disappear. Where will it go? This rose flower contains all the rose flowers of the past; and if you can understand, let me say, it contains all the future flowers also.

This is just one flower representing all the flowers of the past and future. We are here; in this moment the whole existence converges. All the past and all the future converges in this moment. This moment is the bridge between the past and the future. In you, everything is meeting right now. If you can become aware, then you are the whole existence this very moment. This is the meaning of the Upanishadic saying: AHAM BRAHMASMI -- 'I am the whole.' This is the meaning of Jesus, repeating again and again,'I and my Father are one' -- I am the whole. This is the meaning of el-Hillaj Mansur who said, ANA-EL-HAQQ -- 'I am the truth.'

In each moment the whole converges. Each moment represents the whole, the whole past and the whole future. Jesus is not only Jesus: all the Buddhas are involved, all the saints are involved; and not only of the past but, I say to you, of the future also.

AND THE GRAVES WERE OPENED, AND MANY BODIES OF THE SAINTS

WHICH SLEPT AROSE,

AND CAME OUT OF THE GRAVES AFTER HIS RESURRECTION, AND.

WENT INTO THE HOLY CITY AND APPEARED UNTO MANY.

And this was felt by many. It was not just written by the few disciples. Even others who had the sensitivity felt it.

It depends on your sensitivity.

What I am saying to you this moment, if you are really sensitive, you can feel all -

- the whole past and the whole future converging in you. And in that moment you are no more a tiny being, you are the whole. Those who were sensitive, they could see it. They could feel unknown forces moving around.

That day of Jesus' crucifixion was not an ordinary day. People who had a little prayer in them must have felt certain unknown forces moving. People who had a little meditation in them must have felt, must have become perceptive. Those who had loved, or those who had a poetic vision, or the sense of an artist, they must have felt. People who had any quality of the heart must have felt many presences all around.

The Gospel writers were not aware of Indian scriptures, otherwise they would have made it more clear. In India we have a very long tradition, and we have tried through many dimensions to interpret the unknown. When Buddha spoke, it is said that not only human beings were present there to listen to him; gods also came, animals also, trees also listened. If you read Buddhist scriptures you will be surprised, because the number of listeners was so great. You must be surprised, because no instruments existed -- how could Buddha have spoken to such great multitudes? -- the microphone was not there, there was no way to communicate. But there is a misunderstanding. Those numbers are not only of human beings. The greater part of them were DEVAS, gods who had come from above to listen to Buddha; then animals who could not understand language, but who could feel; then trees and plants and birds; who didn't need any verbal communication, just the very presence of Buddha was enough nourishment to them; and THEN human beings.

Human beings were a very minor part of the whole audience. And the same is the story about Mahavir, and about other Teerthankaras and other Buddhas.

About Mahavir, it is said that when first he spoke, only gods could understand and listen to him because he spoke on such a high plane that it was impossible for anybody else to understand. Then gods persuaded him,'Please come a little lower to help humanity.' Then, by and by, he spoke on a lower plane and humanity could understand. Then gods persuaded him to come still a little lower, because animals were there, and the trees and the rocks.

These stories are beautiful. They say only one thing: that we all are interrelated, we are not separate. The highest point is related to the lowest. We are all rungs of one ladder -- the lowest is as much a part of the same ladder as the highest.

Those who were sensitive must have felt unknown, strange presences all around.

But the whole thing depends on your sensitivity; nothing else is needed. A great intellectual attainment is not needed, a great logical acumen is not needed. When Jesus comes to you and knocks at your door, all that is needed is deep sensitivity.

Let me tell you a very small anecdote: A good and thoughtful king offered a ride in his carriage to a weary traveller on the road. Having been treated badly by evil kings, the traveller hesitantly asked,'Sir, what must I give in return?'

The understanding king replied,'Just one thing: your acceptance of the offer.'

Yes, that's all that a Jesus asks of you -- your acceptance of the offer.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #10

Chapter title: I am the See You are Seeking

30 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

The first question:

Question 1

YOU APPEAR TO DEVOTE YOUR LIFE TO HELPING OTHER PEOPLE; BUT

PEOPLE AROUND YOU APPEAR ONLY INTERESTED IN HELPING

THEMSELVES. IF THEIR AIM IS TO LOSE THEIR EGOS, IS NOT A BETTER

METHOD TO LOSE ONESELF IN HELPING OTHERS?

THIS is from a new seeker, Virginia. Because she is new, she cannot understand what is happening here.

The first thing to remember: you can help others only when you have helped yourself, not before it. You can help others only when you have disappeared, not before it. You cannot lose your ego by helping others. You can lose your ego, and THEN YOU can help others. In fact, if you have the ego already there and you help others, you will attain to a very cultivated, subtle, pious ego -- that's all.

Egolessness won't come through it. The ego will become religious,'and when a poison becomes religious, it becomes more dangerous.

I am helping you because I am not. You are here to help yourself in the first place. When you disappear, then in |fact there is no need to help others; it happens of its own accord.

Let me tell you an anecdote: A woman always attended church, and after each sermon would remark,'My, they certainly did need the message this morning.'

One snowy Sunday morning, she was the only one in the congregation. The minister delivered his message anyway. He walked with her to the door, where she said,'My, they certainly would have needed it if they had been here.' The message is for you. Don't play tricks with yourself; don't start a new ego-trip. It is not for them, it is for you. I am talking to each individual directly; I am not talking to a crowd. When I say something, I am saying it exactly to you, not to the neighbors.

And the only way you can be of any help to the world is that you disappear, become an emptiness. Out of that emptiness arises the flame of love and compassion. Out of that emptiness arises a fragrance of divineness. And then you help millions, but you never come to know that you are helping them. You become a vehicle of God, you become an incarnation. Before that you can become a missionary, which is a dirty word. Before that you can become a do-gooder, which is very dangerous. Before that you can become a very pious egoist: helping others one Feels oneself on top of them.'Holier than thou' becomes your attitude. In your very look there is condemnation and you cannot help anybody through condemnation, only through compassion.

But how is compassion possible with the ego? With the ego, violence is possible, condemnation is possible. Love and compassion? no, they are not possible. So please be alert. It always happens when you come near a Master and you hear the message, that your mind starts spinning things. It says,'THEY need it.' The whole world needs it except you. Be aware: YOU need it. You are they.

The world is not separate from you, the world is you multiplied.

And let me say to you that I teach selfishness. I don't teach that you should go and serve others. I teach: love yourself, serve yourself, so that that which is hidden within you becomes manifest. The very flow of it will help others.

Wherever you walk, whatsoever you do, will become a help. It is not that you are trying to help; your very being will become helpful.

The second question:

Question 2

HAVING ATTAINED THE PEACEFUL STATE OF MIND WHICH YOU CALL

INDIA, HOW CAN ONE SUSTAIN IT IN THE PRESSURES OF THE WEST?

FOR ME, IT HAS BEEN IMPOSSIBLE.

Yes, I call India not a country, but an inner space. I call India not something that exists there in geography, on the maps. I call India that which exists hidden within you, and that which you have not yet discovered. India is your innermost space. India is not a nation, it is a state of mind.

The questioner asks,'Having attained the peaceful state of mind which you call India, how can one sustain it in the pressures of the West? For me, it has been impossible.'

Once you attain it, you cannot lose it. Even if you want to lose it, you cannot lose it. No real attainment is ever lost. Then, you must have imagined that you had attained to the innermost peace. Then, you must have deceived yourself. Then, something must have given you the idea that you had attained to it.

For example, if you go to the Himalayas, it is peaceful and silent. Eternal silence reigns there. In that silence you start feeling silent you reflect silence. Don't think that you have become silent; it is the Himalayas being reflected in you. The silence belongs to the Himalayas, not to you. When you come down to the plains, that silence is gone. Again you are in the turmoil, again you ARE the turmoil, again the anguish and the anxiety. And you think you have lost something which you had gained? No, in the first place you had never gained it. It belonged to the Himalayas; it still belongs there. You entered a certain situation, but you didn't enter a certain state. The situation is something outside you, the state is something within you. And you deceived yourself. It is so easy to deceive oneself. One wants to feel that one has attained, because that also gives a very deep nourishment to the ego: I have attained.

Many people come to India. Coming from the West, India looks silent, peaceful, poor but contented. India is, in a way, almost two thousand years behind. When you come from New York to India, or from London to the Himalayas, you are moving backwards in time. You are moving in the times of Jesus, two thousand years back. Everything is primitive, wild, untamed. One feels good; one feels again a certain freedom. The noise, the anxiety, the tension, the constant hurry, the 'always going somewhere not knowing where one is going' of the West, is not here. Things move slowly. Everything seems to be moving nowhere, very silently. A certain music is still present. Indians may not feel it because they have been born to it, just as a fish never feels the ocean. But when people from the West come, they are shocked into a certain awareness. Their sleep is broken, and they start feeling and thinking that they have attained to a certain state. To attain a certain state is not so easy. It is not a plane trip: you cannot fly from one state of mind to another state of mind. It is not a journey, it is a pilgrimage.

And this is the distinction between a journey and a pilgrimage: a journey is going from one point to another point in space, a pilgrimage is going from without to within, from space to no-space. You can be easily deceived here, not by anybody else, but by yourself.

Then you go back, and that freedom, that silence, that meditation, that prayerfulness, is lost. Hence the question:'Having attained the peaceful state of mind which you call India, how can one sustain it?' There is no need to sustain it.

It is so alive, it is so vital that it sustains itself. It has tremendous energy. It needs nobody's help. In fact, you are not needed to sustain it; it sustains you. It is greater than you, higher than you, deeper than you, bigger than you: it is your original nature. It is you in your ultimate glory. Nothing is needed to sustain it, and nothing can distract you from it. Once attained, it is attained forever. You cannot lose it. If you lose it, then know well that you deceived yourself.

'How can one sustain it in the pressures of the West?' If it cannot be sustained in the pressures, it is not of worth. Any meditation that is of worth will be alive even in the marketplace. Because a marketplace is nothing once you attain to the meditative state. No market can disturb it, no market can distract you away from it. It becomes like breathing. In fact, you will feel it more in the marketplace than in the Himalayas, because in the Himalayas the contrast will be missing. If you have really tasted what aloneness is, you will feel it more in the crowd than on a Himalayan peak, because in the crowd, the contrast.... If you have listened to the inner music, you will hear it more in traffic noise because of the contrast. In the night you can see the stars in the sky, not in the day -- because the contrast is missing. The night is so dark; in that velvety darkness you can see those stars, beautiful stars In the day they did appear. They are still there where they are, they have not gone anywhere, they remain in the sky -- but the contrast is missing because of the sunlight. Now there is no background to them.

This, is my understanding, this is my experience: that whatsoever you attain, you will always taste it more, feel it more; it will surface in your being more clearly, crystal clear, whenever you move to the contrary. If the meditation is true, in New York it will be more clear to you, in London you will feel it more.

Surrounding yourself with the opposite, it will throb more clearly. If it is not happening, you come to the East, you feel good, and then you go to the West and it is gone. It has been a journey, not a pilgrimage. You travelled from one point to another in space, you have not travelled from space to no-space. Meditation means a pilgrimage from the out to the in, from the without to the within. Once attained, even if you want to lose it you cannot lose it.

The third question:

Question 3

WHEN I AM WRITING A BOOK, I AM FULL OF FLOWING ENERGY AND

DELIGHT. BUT, WHEN I HAVE FINISHED, I AM SO EMPTY AND DEAD

THAT I CAN HARDLY BEAR TO LIVE. NOW I AM MUST STARTING TO

WRITE, BUT THOUGH I CAN GET INTO THE PLEASURE WHILE I AM

WORKING, DURING THE MEDITATIONS I GET OVERWHELMED WITH

FEAR OF THE EMPTINESS WHICH I EXPECT MONTHS FROM NOW.

This is from Pankaja; she is a novelist. I have gone through her novels, and they are beautiful. She has the knack of it: how to tell a story beautifully, how to weave a story. And this experience is not only hers, it is of almost everybody who is in any way creative. But still, the interpretation is wrong, and much depends on the interpretation.

When a woman carries a child, she is full. Of course, when the child is born, she will feel empty. She will miss the new life that was throbbing and kicking in her womb. The child has gone out; she will feel empty for a few days. But she can love the child, and she can forget her emptiness in loving the child and helping the child to grow. For an artist, even that is not possible. You paint, or you write a poem or a novel; once it is finished you feel deep emptiness. And what can you do with the book now? So the artist is in an even more difficult situation than a mother. Once a book is finished, it is finished. Now it needs no help, no love; it is not going to grow. It is perfect, it is born grown-up. A painting is finished, it is finished. an artist feels very empty. But, one has to look into this emptiness.

Don't say that you are exhausted; rather, say that you are spent. Don't say that you are empty, because each emptiness also has a fullness in it. You are looking from the wrong end.

You come into a room: there is furniture, pictures on the walls and things. Then those things and the pictures are removed and you come into the room: now what will you say? Will you call it empty, or will you call it a full room?'Room'

means emptiness;'room' means space. With the furniture removed, the room is full. When furniture was there the room was not full; much of it was missing because of the furniture. Now the room is complete, the emptiness is total.

You can look from two ends. If you are too furniture-oriented, so that you can only look at the chairs and tables and the sofa and you cannot see the roominess of the room, then it will feel empty. But if you know, and you can see emptiness directly, you will feel a tremendous freedom which was not there before because the room was missing; you could not move in it. Go on filling it with furniture, and there will come a point when you cannot move because the whole room is gone.

Once I stayed in a very rich man's house. He was very rich, but had no taste. His house was so full that it was not a house at all. You could not move, and you were always afraid to move because he had precious antiques. He himself was afraid to move. The servants were constantly worried. He gave me the best, the most beautiful room in his house. And I told him,'This is not a room, it is a museum. Please give me something where I can move, then it will be a room.

This is not a room. The room has almost disappeared.' The room means: the freedom that space gives you.

When you are working, creating, your mind is full of many things. The mind is occupied. Writing a novel the mind is occupied; writing a poem the mind is occupied; there is too much furniture in it -- the furniture of the mind: thoughts, feelings, characters. Then the book is finished. Suddenly, the furniture is gone.

You feel empty. But there is no need to become sad. If you look at it rightly -- this is what Buddha called right-vision, SAMYAK DRASTHI -- if you look rightly, you will feel freed of an obsession, of an occupation. You will feel clean again, unburdened. Those characters of the novel are no longer moving there. Those guests are gone and the host is totally at ease. Enjoy it. Your wrong interpretation is creating sadness for you, and fear. Enjoy it. Have you never observed that when a guest comes you feel good; when he goes you feel even better? He leaves you alone, and now you have your own space.

To write a novel is maddening because so many characters become guests, and each character has his own way. It is not always that he listens to the writer, not always. Sometimes he has his own way, and he forces the writer in a certain direction. The writer starts the novel, but never ends it. Then those characters end it by themselves.

It is just like giving birth to a child. You can give birth to a child, but then the child starts moving on his own. The mother may have been thinking that the child would become a doctor, and he becomes a hobo. What can you do? You try-hard, but he becomes a hobo.

The same happens when you write a novel: you start with & character -- you were going to make a saint out of him, and he becomes a sinner. And I tell you, it is exactly as it happens to a child: the mother is worried; the novelist is worried.

He wanted him to become a saint and he is becoming a sinner, and nothing can be done. He feels almost helpless, almost used by these characters. They are his fantasies, but once you cooperate with them they become almost real. And unless you get rid of them, you will never be at peace. If you have a book in your mind, it has to be written to get rid of it. It is a catharsis, it is unburdening yourself.

That's why creative people almost always go mad. Mediocrities never go mad --

they have nothing to go mad over, they have nothing maddening in their lives.

Creators almost always go mad. A Van Gogh will go mad, a Nijinsky will go mad, a Nietsche will go mad. Why does it happen that they go mad? -- because they are so occupied; so many things are happening in the mind. They don't have a space of their own within themselves. So many people are staying there, coming and going. It is almost as if they are sitting on a road and the traffic continues. Each artist has to pay for it.

Remember, when a book is finished and a child is born, feel happy, enjoy that space, because sooner or later a new book will arise. As leaves come out of trees, as flowers come out of trees -- exactly like that, poems come out of a poet, novels come out of a novelist, paintings come out of a painter, songs are born out of a singer. Nothing can be done; they are natural.

So sometimes in the fall when the leaves have fallen and the tree stands alone without leaves against the sky, enjoy it. Don't call it emptiness, call it a new type of fullness -- full with yourself. There is nobody to interfere; you are resting in yourself. That period of rest is needed for every artist; it is a natural process.

Each mother's body needs a little rest. One child is born and another is conceived it used to happen, it used to happen in the East, and in India it still continues: a woman is almost old by the age of thirty, continuously giving birth to children with no gap to recuperate, to rejuvenate her being, to be alone. She is exhausted, tired. Her youth, her freshness, her beauty, are gone. A rest period is needed when you give birth to a child. You need a rest period. And if the child is going to be a lion, then a long rest period is needed. And a lion only gives birth to one child, because the whole being is involved in it. And then there is a rest period, a long rest period to recupe, to regain the energy that you have given to the child, to regain yourself again so that something can be born out of you.

When you write a novel, if it has been really a great piece of art, then you will feel empty. If it has been just a sort of journalism that you have made for money because some publisher has made a contract with you, then, then it is not very deep. You will not feel empty after it, you will remain the same. The deeper your creation, the greater will be your emptiness afterwards, The greater the storm, the greater will be the silence that comes in its wake. Enjoy it. The storm is good, enjoy it; and the silence that follows it is also good. The day is beautiful, full of activity; night is also very beautiful, full of inactivity, passivity, emptiness. One sleeps. In the morning you are again back in the world with full energy to work, to act.

Don't be afraid of the night. Many people are. There is one sannyasin, I have given her the name Nisha.'Nisha' means: the night. She comes to me again and again, and she says,'Please change my name.''Why?' She says,'I am afraid of night. Why have you given me, out of so many names, just this name? Change it.'

But I am not going to change it. I have given it to her knowingly, because of her fear -- her fear of darkness, her fear of passivity, her fear of relaxation, her fear of surrender. That is all indicated in the word'night', nisha.

One has to accept the night part also. Only then do you become complete, full, whole.

So Pankaja, don't take it amiss. That emptiness is beautiful, more beautiful than the days of creativity, because that creativity comes out of emptiness, those flowers come out of emptiness. enjoy that emptiness, feel blissful and blessed.

Accept it, welcome it like a benediction, and soon you will see that you are again full of activity, and a greater book is going to be born again. Don't be worried about it. There is no need to worry. It is just a misinterpretation of a beautiful phenomenon.

But man lives in words. Once you call a thing by a wrong name, you start becoming afraid of it. Be very, very exact. Always remember what you say, because saying is not just saying; it has deep associations in your being. Once you call a thing emptiness, you become afraid -- the very word.

In India, we have better words for emptiness. We call it SHUNYA. The very word is positive; it has nothing of negativity in it. It is beautiful. It simply means space, with no boundaries: SHUNYA. And we have called the ultimate goal shunya. Buddha says when you become shunya, when you become absolutely nothing, a nothingness, then you have attained.

A poet, an artist, a painter, is on the way to becoming a mystic. All artistic activity is on the way towards becoming religious. When you are active, writing a poem, you are in the mind. When the poem is born you are spent, and the mind takes rest. Use these moments to fall into your being. Don't call it emptiness; call it wholeness, call it being, call it truth, call it God. And then you will be able to feel the benediction of it.

The fourth question:

Question 4

I WANT TO COME CLOSE TO YOU, OSHO, BUT I ENJOY BEING IN OPEN

SPACES AND BY THE SEA. SO WHAT TO DO?

I don't see the problem. Can you find a more open space than me? And can you find a more wild sea than me?

I am absolute lawlessness.

There is no problem. Don't try to create a problem where none exists. Just look into my eyes: I am the sea you are seeking, and I am the vast empty space you have always been searching for through many of your Lives. Now by chance, just coincidentally you are close to me. Don't miss this opportunity. There are many ways to miss it, there is only one way not to miss it. There are a thousand and one ways to go away from me, there is only one way to come near me. So it is almost impossible that you will be able to come near me, because the possibility to go astray is more -- one thousand and one. You can find so many reasons to go away from me, and you can justify them, you can rationalize and you can feel perfectly right in going away from me. But to come close to me is going to be arduous and difficult, because everybody wants freedom. At least, everybody THINKS that they want freedom. But I rarely come across a man who really wants freedom; he thinks he wants freedom. Because to be free means to be nobody. If you are somebody, that 'somebodiness' will be your imprisonment.

To find infinite space means that you will have to dissolve. Because you create, you go on creating your boundaries around you. To move to the wild sea, uncharted, you will have to throw all your maps, all your scriptures, all your religions, all your concepts and ideologies. To move into space which has no boundaries to it, is to die: to die to the known and to trust the unknown, which is the most difficult thing in the world.

I will tell you one story. It is a very ancient story, and one of the most beautiful I have ever come across.

There was a very wise king. His own prime minister committed a betrayal: he delivered some secrets to the neighboring country, to the enemy. The prime minister was caught red-handed. There was only one punishment for it, and that was death. But the old king had always loved this man. He was sentenced to death, but the old man gave him an opportunity. The last day, he called his whole court. On one side there was a gun ready to kill the man, on the other side there was a black door. And the king said,'You can choose, either to die -- you have to die -- or you can choose this black door. It is up to you.' The prime minister asked,'What is behind that black door?' The king said,'That is not allowed. Nobody knows, because nobody has chosen it before. In the times of my father, in the times of my grandfather, many times the opportunity had been given, but nobody has chosen and nobody knows. And nobody is allowed; even I don't know. I have the key, but when my father died he said to me,'I will open the door and you can go in and I will close it. Don't look into it.' But you can see because -- you can choose. You can discover what is there. It is up to you.'

The prime minister brooded and brooded, and then he chose the gun. He said,'Kill me with the gun. I don't want to go behind that black door.' The prime minister was killed. The queen was very curious. She persuaded the king somehow to see what was behind it. The king laughed. He said,'I know -- there is nothing behind it. It's simple freedom; there is not even a room. This door opens to the wide world. There is nothing, but nobody has chosen it yet.'

People even choose death before choosing the unknown. People even choose to be miserable before choosing the unknown. The unknown seems to be more dangerous than death itself. And freedom is the door unknown. Freedom means moving into the unknown, not knowing where one is going, not knowing what is going to happen the next moment. It is a black door. Rarely, sometimes a Jesus or a Buddha choose the door; all else choose the gun.

You are dying every day, but you still cling to this life which gives you nothing except death. You choose death, you don't choose real life. Real life is hazardous, insecure. You talk about wild seas, you talk about infinite spaces: look into me, and you will get scared. Look deeply into me, and you will become afraid. There is only one way to come near me, and that is to love. To love me is to die to the past. To love means to trust, to surrender. And there is no problem. If you really love open spaces and the wild sea, I invite you.

The fifth question:

Question 5

IT IS FROM A NEW SEEKER, GREG EWART.

OSHO, I WANT TO BECOME A SANNYASIN; BUT SURRENDER MEANS

LOVE, AND I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED LOVE, NOR HAVE I EVER

ESTABLISHED A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE ELSE. IF I TAKE SANNYAS NOW, MY DECISION TO DO SO WOULD BE AN

INTELLECTUAL, MAYBE A HYPOCRITICAL ONE. I WOULD FEEL AS

THOUGH I WERE USING YOU. HOW CAN I BECOME A SIMPLE, SINCERE

SANNYASIN?

I am the black door -- and there is no other way to know me except by entering me. You say you have never loved. Unless you love, how will you know? You say you have never been in any deep, intimate relationship. Unless you are, how you are going to know it?

Love, surrender, trust, are like swimming. You have to go to the river. You cannot make it a condition that you will not get into the river unless you know swimming. If you make that condition you will never learn, because there is no other way to learn it. You have to go, cautiously of course, slowly of course; there is no need to go to the deepest part. But enter -- find a spot where you can learn swimming and where you are not afraid to die.

Don't enter into me, just give your hand to me. That's what sannyas is. It is just a beginning, the beginning of the beginning. It is just a gesture on your part that you are ready to come with me. When you go swimming, you have to trust the Master who teaches you. It is dangerous, because who knows? But if you trust, by and by, you become capable, capable of going to the deeper parts of the river.

Once you know swimming, then there iB no fear. Whether it is Six feet deep, or six thousand feet deep makes no difference once you know swimming.

I don't say take the jump. I simply say, slowly enter the river. Remain near the bank where you can feel that any time, if there is danger, you can get back to the bank. Just give your hand to me, just trust. And there is no other way.

To know what trust is, one haB to trust. To know what love is, one has to love.

You have been missing your whole life because you have never allowed the unknown to enter into your life. You wanted first to make it known.

Again you are doing the same. You want to become a sannyasin: it is natural that in the beginning it is going to be a decision on your mind's part. Your mind will have to decide. And naturally, it will only be part of your mind. It cannot be total. By and by, it will become total. Sometimes it may not even be the major part, it may be the minor part. Ten percent -- of you would like to become a sannyasin, and ninety percent of you is afraid, but the ninety percent that is afraid is already dead. You have lived that ninety percent, and you have found nothing.

This is the quality of courage: to be always ready to search the unknown, the yet undiscovered. Because that which you have discovered has been found futile.

Move, be courageous. There are treasures to be discovered; you are carrying them. I am not going to give you anything that you do not already have. You have it. You have the treasure, you have the key. At the most, I can show you how to unlock, how to use the key. At the most, I can show you where the Lock iB and where the key is within you. I can bring together the key part and the lock part? that's all. The treasure is yours, it is already there. But you will have to do something.

In the beginning, you will do it hesitantly. In the beginning you may even feel that it is hypocritical, because you are not total. Good -- this is a good indication, that you are afraid of being hypocritical. It is a good indication that you would like to take sannyas, and yet you know that only part of you does, and that too you are not certain about whether it is real, imaginary, illusory, or deceptive.

One has to move in spite of all the doubts: that's what courage is. To be a courageous man does not mean that you have no fears. A man who has courage, and a cowards are not different basically. The coward has idea to move into the dark, into the unknown, and the brave man also has the fear. But the brave man is one who listens to the call of the unknown in spite of the barriers of the known, and the coward is one who listens to the known in spite of the call of the unknown. He listens to the known, and the courageous man listens to the unknown; that is the only dirference.

Both parts exist in every person. Every brave man has his coward behind him, but he does not listen to it. And every coward has his brave qualities hidden within him, but he has not listened to them. And to whatsoever part you listen, you become that.

So take courage. Always take the invitation of the. unknown and your life will become an adventure.

A sannyasin is one who has accepted life as an adventure, as a pilgrimage, as a river flowing to the ocean.

The sixth question:

Question 6

I SOMETIMES FEEL SUCH A FEAR OF MISSING, AS IF I WERE IN A SCHOOL, AND IF I DIDN'T DO THE RIGHT THING I WOULD FLUNK OUT.

Yes, you ARE in a school. This is a school. We are learning to be ourselves here; we are trying the greatest adventure there is -- of discovering oneself, of reaching to one's own innermost core. It is a learning place, it is a school. But the whole point is, the whole teaching of THIS school is not to be worried about right and wrong, not to be worried about good and bad, not to be worried about morality and difference, not to be worried about lower and higher.

The whole point of this school is to become choiceless.

Now I will read the question again:'I sometimes feel such a fear of missing, as if I were in a school, and if I didn't do the right thing I would flunk out.'

This is the right thing here: not to be worried about right and wrong. To accept oneself is the right thing here, to accept yourself, whatsoever you are, howsoever you are; to accept in totality and in deep humbleness that this is the way you are, that this is the way God intended you to be.

We are not trying to change you, we are not trying to improve you, we are not trying any ego-trip. We are simply trying to help you discover who you are. So the right thing here is not to be worried about right and wrong, not to be worried about this and that. We are not going to choose a character, a morality, a code of conduct. No, we are trying to find out who we are. Once you know who you are, no code of conduct is needed, no conceptions of right and wrong are needed.

Once you know who you are, all that you do is right. And, if you don't know who you are, all that you do is wrong.

So, we are not worried about right and wrong.

The seventh question:

Question 7

OSHO, PLEASE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?

This is from Madhuri.

I am killing you Madhuri. I am a murderer, and you are trapped. You cannot escape me now because once you have tasted a little death, you cannot escape.

Because now you know much more is going to come. Once you have tasted a little death of the ego, you know, you can imagine now, you can dream of what a beautiful space is going to be there when the whole ego disappears: when you look within yourself and you don't find anybody there, just emptiness, vast emptiness. If you have found a little empty corner in your being, then you cannot move away now. You have tasted.

Now, you cannot go back to the ordinary world. Unless you die, there is no going back. Once you die, I will send you back to the ordinary world, because then nothing can corrupt you. Who can corrupt an emptiness? How can an emptiness be corrupted? It is open, absolutely vulnerable, and yet invulnerable, because nobody can corrupt it. It is incorruptible, it is virgin.

The eighth question:

Question 8

WHAT DID JESUS MEAN WHEN HE SAID IN HIS SERMON ON THE

MOUNT,'BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN SPIRIT'?

That's what I am calling emptiness, SHUNYA, poor in spirit: those who are nobodies, who cannot claim anything, who have no claims to make -- who are just nobodies.

Let me tell you one anecdote: A Sufi sage once asked his disciples to tell him what their vanities had been before they began to study with him. The first said,'I imagined that I was the most handsome man in the world.' The second said,'I believed that, since I was religious, I was one of the elect, the chosen few.' The third said,'I believed I knew, and I also believed that I could teach.' And the fourth said,'My vanity was greater than all these, for I believed that I could learn.'

The sage remarked,'And the fourth disciple's vanity still remains the greatest, for his vanity is to show that he once had the greatest vanity. It still remains the greatest.'

You can become egoistic about your humbleness also. To be poor in spirit means simply to be nobody, not even humble. A humble man is not poor in spirit, a humble man is ego, upside-down, ego in a see saw, a head stand. A humble man is not REALLY humble. A humble man is not humble at all, because humility is also a function of the ego. When the ego disappears, humbleness also disappears.

When you are gone, where can the shadow fall? When you are gone, there is not even shadow. When the ego is gone, humbleness also disappears; it is a shadow of the same disease.

The poor in spirit is one who has come to understand that he is not. To know that one is not is to know that one is part of the whole:'The whole is, I am not.' The ocean is, the drop is not. And the poor in spirit is the richest man there is, the richest that is possible. The poor in spirit is the richest, because the emptiest is the fullest. Here, death means life.

And when I say I am a murderer, I simply mean that I am a midwife. Here, destroying you means giving you rebirth -- a new being, a being without any ego.

The ninth question:

Question 9

WITHOUT ANY REASON I DO SOME JOBS IN A HURRY; ESPECIALLY

EATING.

This is from Vishnu Chaitanya.

Vishnu Chaitanya, something is eating you: some deep worry is inside that creates hurry; some deep tension which does not allow you to relax.

So, the next time you are eating something, watch what is eating you. When you are hurrying, just watch. Are you escaping from somewhere? Are you trying to avoid some situation? Are you trying not to see something which is there inside you? Are you trying to suppress something? Is there some worry and you don't even want to accept that it is there? Is there some wound which you are hiding in flowers? Watch deep down. All people who are in a hurry simply show that they are carrying some deep worry, and they are not even courageous enough to face it. Bring it up, let it surface. Encounter it, and you will be simply surprised. If you can encounter any problem face to face, directly, it disappears. In the inner world, to know that a problem is, to know exactly what it is, to diagnose, is to treat. There is no other medicine in the inner world. A problem only exists if you go on suppressing it. If you don't allow it to be confronted, it exists. And people go on piling many problems, and then they are always in a hurry. In their hurry they are trying to evade; because if they rest, silently sit, they Will have to face.

So they are CONSTANTLY in a hurry, running, doing this and that. Only when they fall asleep, then apparently are they at rest; but deep down not even then.

Then, in their dreams and in their nightmares, they are travelling, and hurrying, and running.

Many people come to me and they say that a certain dream occurs continuously.

And this is one of the most common dreams: that one is hurrying in the dream towards the station, and by the time one reaches the platform, the train leaves.

This is a very common dream. What does it mean? It means that you are always and always missing the point, missing the target. And the whole point of worry is that it needs to be recognized, it needs to be paid attention to, it needs to be brought into the consciousness.

All the group therapies that we are doing here are nothing but to bring out all that is repressed, to help it to surface so that it comes into the consciousness.

Once any problem comes into the consciousness, it disappears. It is just as if you watch, sit near a river and watch. If the water is clean you can see bubbles coming up. A few bubbles, just on the bottom, go on clinging; they will remain. If any bubble comes up, the closer it comes to the surface the bigger it becomes; because with less pressure of the water, it becomes bigger. When it comes to the surface, it is the biggest. It may have been just a small bubble at the bottom, but on the surface it is a big bubble. But then within seconds it erupts, it is gone.

The same, exactly the same happens whenever you are suppressing something. It may be a very small thing, and you are afraid to bring it to consciousness because when it comes towards the conscious it starts becoming bigger and bigger; the repression is less and less, and the pressure is less. It becomes bigger, you become afraid. You force it back again. Many people who start meditating here come to me and they say,'We were never so worried as we are now.' Or they say?'We were never so sad,' or,'We were never so miserable,' or,'We were never so much in anguish and anxiety.' Their bubbles are becoming bigger because they are coming nearer to the surface. This is a good sign, a healthy sign that something is happening I tell them: Be happy, feel grateful that something is happening. The bubbles are leaving the bottom of your being and coming to the surface. Once they come to the surface, they explode, because then there is no pressure on them and they cannot exist.

A problem can exist only through pressure. No problem can exist without pressure; it disappears. The whole point of all the therapies here is to bring all your problems to the surface. Know, watch, become aware, and the problem disappears. Knowledge -- rather, knowing -- is transformation. Don't ask,'Once we know the problem is there, what has to be done?' If you really know it, it is no more there.

This is the beauty of the inner world: once you know a thing, it is no longer there.

It remains only if you go on forcing it, repressing it, avoiding knowledge, avoiding recognition.

Problems exist through your ignorance, through your unconsciousness.

Consciousness is the solution. Remember, I call it the SOLUTION. It has nothing to do with any particular problem. Every and all problems disappear through it -

- it is THE SOLUTION.

The tenth question:

Question 10

SO MANY QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ASKED OF YOU. IS THERE A LIMIT

AFTER WHICH NO MORE NEW QUESTIONS CAN BE FOUND?

If your question is authentic, then there is a limit. But if your questions are borrowed, borrowed from the books, borrowed from others, borrowed from knowledge and information, then there is no limit. If your question is true, relevant to your being, then there is a limit. Sooner or later you will come to it; they are finished. But if they are scholarly, then there is no limit to it.

Let me tell you one anecdote.

It happened: The lady of the house was out when her new maid called at her home and rang the bell. The pet parrot answered by calling,'Who is that?'

'It is the new maid,' was the reply. There was a pause. Then the girl rang the bell again, and the parrot answered,'Who is that?'

'It is the new maid,' came the reply once more. She was a little annoyed. This went on until the exasperated girl fell on the ground and fainted, because she would say,'It is the new maid,' and the parrot would ask again,'Who is that?'

because that was the only question he could ask. That was a borrowed question; it was not his question. He didn't even know what it meant.

Returning home, the householder stumbled across the body, and exclaimed,'Who is that!'

'It is the new maid,' answered the parrot, because by now he had learned it.

The eleventh question:

Question 11

YOU SEEM TO ADVOCATE COMMITMENT AND NON-ATTACHMENT IN

LOVE, WHETHER WITH MASTER OR LOVER. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW

ONE CAN BE COMMITTED AND UNATTACHED AT THE SAME TIME.

In fact, they always happen together, they cannot happen separately. It is impossible to separate them, because they are two aspects of the same coin: commitment and unattachment. If you are attached, then it is not a commitment.

Then you are using the other for yourself because it is an attachment.

You love a person and you say,'I am committed and attached.' What does attachment mean? It means that you are using the other person for yourself, you are using the other person as a means. How can one be committed to a means?

Commitment is possible only towards an end, not towards a means. You cannot be committed to a car, you cannot be committed to a house. They are means; they have to be used. You can only Be committed to an alive person, because each person is the goal.

Love is not using the person for your own pleasure. Much pleasure comes through it, but that is a by-product. You love the person as an end; you are committed. You can give your very life to the person, but there is no attachment, because attachment means that you are using the person for yourself.

Commitment with nonattachment means that now the other has become the goal, the end, the very end. They always happen together, and if they cannot happen together then you are missing something. If commitment is with attachment, then you are just deceiving yourself that it is a commitment. Sooner or later, if the person dies, you will find another person -- because you were using the person. Now that he is not available, you will find another person.

A commitment is eternal. Your wife dies: on that day, all women disappear from the world for you. You loved her as a goal. Now it is even impossible to conceive that you can love another. It was so total that nothing is left behind. And it was so total that only the body can die, not the soul of that being. Death cannot part two lovers. If they really loved, they had conquered death already. Love is immortal. But if there was only an attachment, then after a few weeks or a few days the wound is healed. You loved the person because of you, for your own pleasure. Now you will find another person. In fact, you love your husband, you say that you love, and he's dying -- or your wife -- and when the wife is dying, on the deathbed, if somebody could open a window in your head and look, you are already planning and trying to find a new woman.

The mind, at the most, exploits. It can never become a deep commitment. Deep commitment is of being. It knows no time, it knows no death. I am not saying that it is permanent, because permanence is part of time. It is eternal. It has the fragrance of divineness.

Let me tell you one anecdote: A politician named Strange lay dying. A friend asked him what he would like inscribed on his tombstone,'Just put,' said the politician: Here lies an honest politician.

'But,' said the friend,'that doesn't tell who it is.'

'Oh yes, replied the politician,'the passer-by will say,'That is strange -- a politician, and honest?' -- no need to say the name. Passers-by will by themselves say,'That is strange.'

Attachment and love never go together; commitment and attachment never go together. Love goes with unattachment. Then love has a purity of the other world. Then love is absolute essence, absolute pureness, innocence. And then there is a commitment. That commitment is eternal.

The twelfth question:

Question 12

YOU SEEM TO EMPHASIZE DIFFERENT POINTS EVERY DAY: BEING

ORDINARY, BEING AWARE, BEING MEDITATIVE, AND SO ON. IF I TRY TO

PRACTICE THEM ALL I GET CONFUSED TRYING TO REACH A HARMONY

OF ALL. SHOULD I JUST FORGET, AND BE SPONTANEOUS?

You have got the point exactly, precisely. That is the whole point: be spontaneous.

And whatsoever I am saying is not contradictory. You can get confused because you are already confused. And in your confusion, when my words enter they create even more confusion -- because a confused mind can only create more confusion, nothing else.

What I am saying is not contradictory at all. It may appear so sometimes, but it is not.

Let me tell you a Sufi story.

An interchange between a Sufi and an enquirer:'Which statement should one choose if two Sufi sayings contradict each other?'

'They only contradict one another if viewed separately. If you clap your hands and observe only the movement of the hands, they appear to oppose one another. You have not seen what is happening. The purpose of the opposition of the palms was, of course, to produce the hand clap. If I clap my hands they are opposing each other, but there is a synthesis in the sound; the opposition is creating a synthesis.'

I go on talking of so many different things to create a certain sound in you. That sound is spontaneity. If you have understood that, you have understood rightly.

The last question:

Question 13

DEAR OSHO, HELLO.

I will tell you an anecdote.

A persistent man said that he would teach a parrot to say 'hello' in an hour. He went close to the parrot's cage, and started saying,'Hello, hello.' This went on for a full thirty minutes without the parrot giving the slightest attention. At last the bird turned his head slowly, blinked at the man, and said,'Number engaged.'

I will not say anything else about it.

You say 'hello'? You don't know; it can be said to me only through your being.

Otherwise, the number is engaged. Words won't reach me. You will have to say them through your total being; otherwise, the number is engaged.

Come Follow To You, Vol 4

Chapter #11

Chapter title: Behold my Hands and my Feet

31 December 1975 am in Buddha Hall

Luke 24

36 AND AS THEY THUS SPAKE, JESUS HIMSELF STOOD IN THE MIDST OF

THEM, AND SAITH UNTO THEM: PEACE BE UNTO YOU.

37 BUT THEY WERE TERRIFIED AND AFRIGHTED, AND SUPPOSED THAT

THEY HAD SEEN A SPIRIT.

38 AND HE SAID UNTO THEM: WHY ARE YE TROUBLED? AND WHY DO

THOUGHTS ARISE IN YOUR HEARTS?

39 BEHOLD MY HANDS AND MY FEET, THAT IT IS I MYSELF. HANDLE ME

AND SEE, FOR A SPIRIT HATH NOT FLESH AND BONES, AS YE SEE ME

HAVE.

40 AND WHEN HE HAD THUS SPOKEN, HE SHEWED THEM HIS HANDS

AND HIS FEET.

41 AND WHILE THEY YET BELIEVED NOT FOR JOY, AND WONDERED, HE

SAID UNTO THEM: HAVE YE HERE ANY MEAT?

42 AND THEY GAVE HIM A PIECE OF A BROILED FISH, AND OF AN

HONEYCOMBE.

43 AND HE TOOK IT, AND DID EAT BEFORE THEM.

45 THEN OPENED HE THEIR UNDERSTANDING, THAT THEY MIGHT

UNDERSTAND THE SCRIPTURES.

46 AND SAID UNTO THEM: THUS IT IS WRITTEN, AND THUS IT BEHOVED

CHRIST TO SUFFER, AND TO RISE FROM THE DEAD THE THIRD DAY.

47 AND THAT REPENTANCE AND REMISSION OF SINS SHOULD BE

PREACHED IN HIS NAME AMONG ALL NATIONS, BEGINNING AT

JERUSALEM.

48 AND YE ARE WITNESSES OF THESE THINGS.

THE greatest problem that a man like Jesus faces is that whatsoever he is going to say will appear untrue to people -- because truth cannot be said; and the moment you say it, it is falsified. Truth cannot be uttered. The language in which you utter it is not big enough. It kills the truth, it can only express the untrue.

But, out of compassion, a Jesus, a Buddha, will try to say that which cannot be said. But then they will be misunderstood. They bring news of the beyond. You have not even dreamed about it; how can you understand? You have no conception of it; how can you understand? Misunderstanding is natural. Nobody is actually at fault. Jesus brings something from the beyond. You have never been there -- something of the other world. You listen:'This man appears authentic.

His very being gives some authority to whatsoever he is saying.' But that is a feeling -- you cannot understand what he is saying. At the most you can trust, which is very difficult, almost impossible.

How to trust? How to trust somebody else about things which you know nothing about? Not only that, but how to trust about things which go diametrically opposite to your experience?

I was reading a small story the other night.

A man was walking along, and he saw a snail lodged in a crevice in a wall, and for no particular reason he said,'Hello snail.'

And oddly enough the snail could speak, and the snail could hear, and it said,'Hello.' And it moved its eyes around as best it could on their stalks to try to see what it was that was confronting him.

So the man said,'Can you hear me?' And the snail said,'Yes, of course. Who and what are you anyway?'

The man said,'Well, I am a man.'

And the snail said,'Whatever is that?'

So the man said,'Well, we are something like you. For instance, you have got eyes on stalks and we have got stalks on the other end.'

The snail said,'The other end?'

And the man said,'Yes -- just a minute -- it is for putting our feet on, you see, these feet.'

The snail said,'Whatever are these feet for?'

And the man said,'The feet are for moving along very rapidly on.'

The snail said,'Really? You amaze me. Is there anything, else about you that is peculiar?'

And the man said,'Well, you know how you have got your house on your back?'

The snail said,'Yes, yes.'

And the man said,'Well, we don't know. You see, we have lots and lots of houses, and we go in and out of them almost at will.'

The snail said,'You really are a most astonishing creature. Is there anything else that's strange about you?'

And the man said,'Well now, we are men, and a man can take a thing like a leaf; you know, a leaf?'

And the snail said,'Yes. Yes, I know a leaf.'

The man said,'Well, he can make marks on this leaf, and even hand the leaf to another man, who can give the leaf to a third man, who can tell from the marks on the leaf what the first man was thinking about.'

'Ah,' said the snail,'I see, you are one of them. Hm....'

The man said,'What do you mean?'

'You are a liar,' said the snail.'The trouble with you liars is that you tell one lie, and then you tell a bigger one, and then finally you over-reach yourselves.'

That's the feeling with a man like Jesus. Ordinary humanity feels that way: that Jesus is over-reaching himself. Maybe he has a magnetic personality, a charisma around him. Maybe he is a powerful man, a beautiful person. Maybe he has a certain convincing force in him. He is a man worth loving, but he is over-reaching himself. Whatever he is saying is beyond the ordinary human mind. In fact, it is beyond the human mind. He is bringing something into the world of the mind from the world of no-mind. This is an almost unbridgeable gap. He is bound to be misunderstood.

In misunderstanding he was crucified. And when on the cross he said,'Father, forgive these people, because they know not what they are doing,' it was not just compassion, it was not just love. It was compassion, it was love; it was also fact.

Those people who were crucifying him, in fact, were fast asleep, unconscious.

Whatsoever they were doing, they were not aware of it. They had never thought about the implications of it. They were not crucifying Jesus, they were simply crucifying a liar, they were simply crucifying someone who had been disturbing their silent, peaceful lives, who had been forcing them against their wills on an adventure which seemed dangerous, who had been talking about God, which everybody knows does not exist, and yet everybody believes in as a social formality.

Jesus was trying to prove that God exists, not as a social formality, not as a prop for morality, not as a hypothesis to explain the unexplainable. God exists. In fact, ONLY God exists: He is the ultimate fact. Whenever people like Jesus start talking about the ultimate fact, a suspicion arises in the ordinary mind:'They are over-reaching themselves. It's okay to believe in God, and to believe in the church and in the temple. It is good to pretend to be religious. It helps -- it is a social lubricant. It gives life a certain smoothness; it gives you a certain respectability. But one should not take these things too seriously. This man Jesus seems to be too serious about it, as if it is a life-and-death problem.'

To him, it is the only problem worth encountering, and the only adventure worth going on, the only research. But to the people he was talking to, it looked like nonsense. They may not have said so; they may not have said so out of propriety.

They may not have said that they didn't believe, because they would not like to have been known by others as unbelievers. But deep down, it didn't seem probable that God exists; it was the most improbable thing, that God exists. Jesus looks untrue, a Buddha looks untrue. Out of their sheer magnetism people are fascinated. But even those who are fascinated are not totally with them. Their deepest core goes on denying and saying,'You are hypnotized. This man has done something to you, like magic. He has trapped you, you have become a prisoner.' When the people start feeling like this, they take revenge. This revenge happens almost automatically.

The people who killed Jesus killed in their sleep, as if it was just a dream.

There is a Sufi anecdote: A group of merchants asked a certain disciple,'How can this Sufi nonsense mean anything to you?'

To the ordinary mind, to the logical, to the rational part of you, anything that is not comprehensible is nonsense. In fact, it is, because it is beyond sense. If you love it, you may call it super-sense. If you don't love it, you may call it nonsense.

But one thing is certain: that it is something beyond the scope of the senses.

A group of merchants asked a certain disciple,'How can this Sufi nonsense mean anything to you?' He said,'Because it means everything to those whom I respect.'

Because it means everything to those whom I respect... this is what trust is.

Jesus creates a respect about his being. Because of that respect, you believe whatsoever he says. Because of that respect, a certain trust is created, but your rational mind goes on hammering within you and saying,'This is all nonsense.

What are you doing?' And when I say this to you, you can understand, because this is happening to you every day also: whatsoever I am saying to you is nonsense. There is no need for anybody else to prove that it is nonsense; it is nonsense. But if you respect me and love me, that nonsense will start appearing as super-sense, as transcendental to mind, reason, logic -- not below, but above.

If you respect me and love me, you may allow me to take you over to another world in which you cannot believe right now.

Almost every day people come to me and they say,'How can we believe?' I understand their problem, their anguish: they would like to believe. It is not that they want not to believe, because belief gives such serenity, belief gives such tranquility, belief gives such a centeredness and rootedness, that who would not like to believe? Even an atheist is in search of belief. Maybe he is very desperate; maybe his saying that there is no God is nothing but an effort to avoid that great call that is constantly heard in his being -- 'Go on the adventure. Seek and find.'

He does not want to hear that call. He says that there is no God.

I have never come across an atheist who is really an atheist. All atheists are in search, all atheists are in deep search for a faith and trust. But they are afraid. The adventure seems to be so dangerous and risky. They start believing in no-God, but that no-God is also a belief. It is negative: it cannot be nourishing, it cannot give you life, energy; it cannot enhance your being, it cannot help you to become centered. It cannot help you to see the true and the real because it is a false belief, a negative belief. But, I say, it is still a belief.

There are only believers and believers, because nobody can live in non-belief, in no-belief, in no-faith, in no-trust. To live without believing is absolutely impossible. But the first dawn of truth always happens with what this Sufi disciple is saying:'Because it means everything to those whom I respect.' If you respect, you are open to receive.

The Judaic word 'kabala' originally means: capacity to receive. It is a beautiful word. It means: those who are ready to receive; they are kabalists. Respect creates the capacity to receive, to become pregnant. Not knowing what is going to happen, but you trust somebody, you respect somebody.

People respected Jesus. They started following him, but then deep down they also always felt that he was over-reaching. He was taking them so fast and so beyond human comprehension, that by and by they became frightened and scared of this man. They had to kill him, there was no other way.

They must have felt relieved when they killed Jesus. They must have felt a stillness descending, because this man had been creating a chaos. This man had been creating such turmoil. He had to create it, because only out of chaos are stars born, and only out of chaos and pain and anguish is a new birth possible.

But he was looking into the future, and they were clinging to the past, and there was no meeting ground. Even today, between Christ and a Christian there is no meeting ground. The meeting ground is possible only if you also try to over-reach yourself. Otherwise, the meeting ground is not possible.

A friend of mine, an old navy chaplain, tells of a terrible storm a couple of years ago, a storm so severe that even old seamen were scared.

After it was all over, an old salt-crusted sailor said,'Chaplain, I sure did pray during the blow. I am not a praying man, but I prayed hard that time.'

'What did you say in your prayer?' asked the chaplain.

'Oh,' replied the sailor,'I said: Lord, you know that I have not asked you for anything for fifty years, and if you get me out of this storm alive, I promise that I won't bother you again for another fifty years!'

Only in pain, in anguish, only in a chaos where everything is dissolving into nothingness, does one remember God. A Jesus has to create a chaos, a Jesus has to destroy your notions of security, your so-called comfortable life, the illusion of it. He has to dis-illusion you, and that's why he looks like the enemy. The friend looks like the enemy; the greatest friend looks like the greatest enemy because he has to disillusion you. He has to bring you out of your illusions and dreams. He has to create a chaos, because only in that anguish, you may start praying. Jesus did both. He lived a life of infinite delight; he lived a life of constant celebration, he was one of the most dancing men ever on this earth.

Don't listen to the Christians who say that he never laughed: it is impossible. If Jesus never laughed, then I would like to say to you that he never existed. Then the whole story is false. Jesus, and never laughed? -- then who will be able to laugh? He laughed -- his laughter may have been very subtle -- you may not have heard it. That much I can understand. His delight must have been very subtle and profound. You may not have been able to see it; that I can understand.

His celebration must have been so deep that you could not go that deep, and you could not feel it. He lived out of his heart, he lived out of his depth. You may have missed, because to look into the depth of a man like Jesus or Buddha is to look into abyss: one gets dizzy, one becomes frightened, one closes one's eyes.

It is possible that people didn't become aware of Jesus' celebration, but he was a man of celebration. He enjoyed the small things of life. He made everything sacred. He was not an escapist, he did not renounce anything. In fact, whatsoever he touched became sacred, wherever he moved became holy ground.

Whatsoever he did, just because he did it, the quality of it was transformed. He lived a life of celebration on the one hand; on the other hand, he continuously created chaos around you. He was living at two ends together: that is his cross.

That is the meaning of his carrying his cross on his shoulders: he is living two polarities together. He is a paradox, he creates chaos, and you can see him dancing amidst the chaos; because these are the two points to remember God.

Either you remember Him when you are in deep trouble -- which is the way of ordinary humanity -- or you remember Him when you are at a peak of happiness, of bliss -- which is not the way of ordinary humanity. When you are happy, you forget God; whenever you are unhappy, you remember.

Jesus created both possibilities together. He created a disillusionment for you, so that you were in anguish and you could pray. Out of your anguish tears can come, and you melt into prayer. You can again call God 'the Father', the whole.

And just near your chaos, He is celebrating. If you are capable of seeing, if you have eyes, then you will become aware that prayer has two possibilities: one, in unhappiness -- then it is out of helplessness; the other, in happiness -- then it is out of gratitude.

Jesus' prayer is different from your prayer: his prayer is of deep thankfulness, your prayer is of helplessness. But he presented both the possibilities together.

One day, a quivering man visited a Sufi Master to plead,'Please help me find myself.'

During the discussion a messenger of the troubled man appeared.'I thought you would like to know,' said the messenger,'that your business affairs have taken a sudden turn towards prosperity.',

The visitor exclaimed to the Master,'Oh, I feel better now. Good-bye.'

A month later, the still troubled man returned to repeat his sorrowful request,'Please help me! I cannot bear my agony any longer.'

The messenger appeared a second time, saying with a sly grin,'A beautiful woman awaits you at home.'

The visitor Leapt up to gasp,'All is well. Good-bye.'

A friend of the Master asked him,'How often will that quivering man repeat that pattern of foolish behavior?'

Sighed the Master,'Until he sees.'

Jesus created chaos for you, because only in deep discomfort, in deep disillusionment, in total helplessness, is your prayer possible. And just by the side there, he was standing, happy, tremendously happy, prayerful -- a deep gratitude, a sheer delight in being, an ecstasy. Your prayer is out of agony, his prayer is out of ecstasy. And he was just standing by the side.

If you could see, you would take the jump. Your prayer would then no longer be of helplessness. Your prayer would also become of gratitude, of tremendous gratefulness. You are not helpless. You are helpless because you are thinking of yourself as separate from the whole.

It is your illusion of separateness that creates helplessness.

The helplessness is just your illusion. Once the illusion drops, you are the whole.

Jesus goes on saying,'I, and my Father who is in heaven, are one.' Then suddenly, you are not helpless. You are at the very center of existence -- how can you be helpless? You are not separate from the whole -- how can you be helpless?

Helplessness is the shadow of the ego. Jesus tries to disillusion you so that the shadow of ego disappears.

But rather than moving with him, rather than accepting his invitation to go and follow him, people killed him. He was too much of a troublemaker; he was too much to be tolerated.

Sigmund Freud has written in one of his significant letters to a friend, 'Man cannot live without illusions.' Take away the illusion of a man and his whole life becomes meaningless. Everybody has a life-lie around which he lives. Take away the life-lie and the whole meaning disappears, the whole life collapses. Just watch inside yourself: you must have a life-lie, a dream which is not true; and you know it, because you have created it. But you don't want to know that. You go on avoiding the fact, that this is untrue; you go on believing that this is true.

Freud's insight was right. He should know, because for fifty years continuously he was dealing with people's lives, their innermost minds. He must have come across it again and again.

The same is my observation: everybody is living for some illusion. Take the illusion away and the life collapses, and he will become your enemy. And that is what Jesus was doing, what Buddha was doing. This is what I am doing here: trying to take away your life-lie. Freud's insight was half true. It is true: take the life-lie of a man away and his life collapses; but this is only a half-truth. Help him to see the truth, then a new life arises. And until that new life arises you are simply waiting a great opportunity. A life of fantasy is not a life at all. Everybody has to pass through the cross'The cross' means: the cross of the life-lie. And everybody has to come to a resurrection. The resurrection means a life of truth, a life according to the real. The man, the ordinary man goes on trying to make the reality follow his lie. The courageous man, the religious man, drops the lie and follows reality. Don't try to make the truth follow you -- follow truth.

That is the meaning when Jesus says,'Come, follow me.' He is saying: drop your life-lies, your illusions about power, prestige, money, greed, jealousy, ego, and a thousand and one things. Drop those life-lies, come, follow me. Follow the true, follow the real. Truth liberates. But in the beginning, it is painful.

Rather than change themselves, people killed Jesus. Rather than killing their own egos, they found it easier to kill this man. Nobody is responsible, in fact. Jesus had to destroy their illusions, and in their sleep they had to react, so it is natural.

The sutras.

Jesus is crucified; the miracle has not happened. The crowd waited and went away home, frustrated. The disciples waited, hiding themselves in the crowd, because they were also suspicious, doubtful. They respected the man, they also had a certain faith in this man, but not that much. They could follow him when he was succeeding. Now, he was a failure. And nobody has failed like Jesus, because nobody has tried so hard to bring the beyond. Nobody has tried so hard to bring eternity into the world of time. He tried the impossible, and he failed.

His failure is beautiful.

He failed on the path of truth and it is better to fail on the path of truth than to succeed on the path of a lie. Failure and success don't mean anything. The effort, the intention, means everything.

The disciples were hiding in the crowd. They were not revealing themselves, who they were, because they were afraid. Their teacher, their Master, was being hanged. If they revealed themselves, who they were, they would also be hanged, or killed, or mistreated; or at least beaten. They were afraid. They were waiting for the miracle:'If the Master succeeds, if God descends from heaven, or angels descend from heaven and they save Jesus, and he reveals the glory about which he was always talking and about which nobody has ever believed totally....' They were waiting. If the miracle happened, they would reveal themselves. Then they would shout,'We are the disciples!' But if he failed, they would simply disappear into the crowd. The fragile, the weak human mind.... There is nothing to condemn; one should just feel compassion.

It is an old story. It happened that in India there existed a great university, Nalanda was the name of the university. One visitor went to see the university.

The vice-chancellor of the university took the visitor. The visitor must have been a very important personage; he took him around. It is said that there were almost ten thousand students in the university. From almost all over the world, seekers would come to the university. The guest was very impressed.

He said,'My, just how many students do you have here?' "Well,' answered the vice-chancellor thoughtfully,'I would say, about one in a hundred.'

And if that was the number of students, what to say about disciples? -- about one in ten thousand. If you see ten thousand disciples, the possibility is that there may be, or may not even be, one disciple there. That is the proportion. When students are one in a hundred.... And a student has nothing to lose, just to gain.

A disciple has everything to lose and nothing to gain, or ONLY NOTHING to gain.

Jesus had disciples, but they all disappeared. He died alone. In fact, he lived alone, he walked alone on this earth. The multitude that followed him, and the disciples who were around him were just so-so. Lukewarm was their trust. There was no intense passion in it, because when the Master was being crucified, there was the test. They were hiding themselves. They must have been greedy people, as all so-called religious people are.

Just before Jesus was caught and imprisoned they were discussing amongst themselves,'In heaven, when Jesus will be sitting by the right side of God, what will be the position of the disciples, the twelve? Who will be sitting next to Jesus?' Of course they allowed Jesus to sit next to God; but who would be sitting next to Jesus? There was great argument amongst them. They were greedy people. They were just extending their ordinary minds into their so-called religious heaven. Their heaven was nothing but an extension of this earth. It was nothing new. Jesus remained alone, died alone.

Try to understand this, because just to think that you are following when there is no danger is not enough. When death comes, when danger comes, then there will be the test. Then, not even a single disciple declared to be with him.

In fact, when Jesus was taken as a prisoner, Peter wanted to follow him. Jesus told him,'No need to follow me, because you will deny me.' Peter said,'Never! I will never deny you.' Jesus said,'You will deny me. Even before the cock crows and the sun has risen, you will have denied me thrice.' And it happened. All the disciples fled; only Peter followed. But those people who had made him prisoner became suspicious: somebody was amongst them who looked a stranger. They asked him,'Who are you? Are you a disciple of Jesus?' He said,'No, I don't know this man. Who is he?' And Jesus looked back and said,'The morning has not yet come.' And it happened a second time; and it happened thrice. Jesus laughed, and looked back at the crowd and said,'The cock has not crowed yet.'

It is so difficult to follow a Master when he is moving into death. And this the ONLY way to follow a Master, there is no other. Because a Master has to lead you into death; that is the only way to be reborn. There is no other. Until you die, you will not be able to be reborn. Only through death is eternal life attained, only through losing yourself do you gain.

Jesus died. No miracle happened. The crowd, feeling frustrated, disappeared.

AND AS THEY THUS SPAKE, JESUS HIMSELF STOOD IN THE MIDST OF

THEM, AND SAITH UNTO THEM. PEACE BE UNTO YOU.

The disciples gathered and they discussed what to do now. They were feeling absolutely betrayed, deceived. This man simply proved not a real son of God. He had promised again and again that he would be resurrected, that he would come down out of death with a new, eternal body of light. And he died like an ordinary man; and he died complaining to God,'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' So.God had betrayed Jesus, Jesus had betrayed his disciples, and they were at a loss as to what to do now. They must have been a laughing-stock.

People must have laughed at them:'These were Jesus' disciples -- fools, simpletons! They used to believe that this man would come out of death, and this man has simply died like an ordinary man.'

AND AS THEY THUS SPAKE... as the disciples were discussing amongst themselves, JESUS HIMSELF STOOD IN THE MIDST OF THEM, AND SAITH

UNTO THEM: PEACE BE UNTO YOU.

They were very troubled, in deep turmoil; their whole lives were lost. They had followed this man, and this man had simply died. Now what to do, where to go?

Where to hide oneself; how to accept the failure? They were very troubled. They must have been so troubled that Jesus was standing amongst them and they could not see him.

In fact, you can only see that which you are expecting to see. They were not expecting. In fact, they were thinking,'We knew that this was going to happen; this man has died and there has been no miracle.' The miracle had happened, but to see the miracle, to be able to see it, you need a different quality of being. The miracle was not a part of ordinary reality, it is a separate reality. The miracle had happened: Jesus was standing amongst them, and they could not see. It was as if they were almost blind.

We are -- almost blind, almost drunk. We only see that which we want to see, we only see that which we are expecting to see.

Have you watched that your gestalt of vision continually changes? If you are hungry you see different things. You go to the marketplace and you are hungry; you see the restaurants, the hotels, the displayed foods, the fruits. You see things through your hunger. If you are not hungry and you go to the same marketplace, you don't see the restaurants, you don't see the food, the food stalls, the fruit sellers. You simply bypass them. They don't become part of your attention. If you are sexually starved, you go on looking at women or men. If you are not sexually starved, it simply does not matter who is who. Whether somebody who is approaching you is a man or a woman does not matter if you are not sexually starved. Whatsoever you see, it is not only the object that you see; your subjectivity gets involved in it.

Jesus was standing amongst them and he said to them,'Peace be unto you.' Why?

He said,'Just become peaceful, be silent. I am here. About whom are you talking?

Peace be unto you.'

BUT THEY WERE TERRIFIED. When they heard, when they became aware of this man suddenly standing amongst them, THEY WERE TERRIFIED AND

AFRIGHTED, AND SUPPOSED THAT THEY HAD SEEN A SPIRIT, a ghost.

For this miracle they had been waiting. But just to wait is not enough; one has to be ready for it.

It happened once: An old man used to come to me. He said one night -- it must have been near about eleven o'clock and he was departing -- he said,'I would take sannyas, I would surrender myself to you totally if you could do one miracle.' I said,'What is the miracle?' He said,'If you can come tonight in my dream, tomorrow morning I am going to take sannyas.' I said,'Okay, but don't get frightened. Don't be afraid, don't get scared.' He said,'I am not scared'; but the way he said it, I felt that he was very scared. Then he went up to the gate, and he came back, and he said?'It is too dark, and the road is very quiet, and my house is far away, five, six miles, and in this cold night I don't want to go. I would like to stay here.' I said,'What is the matter? Are you afraid to go back home? Don't be afraid. At the most, if the miracle happens, I will come in your dream.' But he said,'Now, I must confess. I am afraid' -- even in a dream!

What is the fear? -- because, if this is possible, a separate reality, a different reality opens its door to you. You have to face the unknown. He had asked for it, but he was afraid. He said,'No need to come. I will come and take sannyas.'

If I can enter in your dream, you will be scared. A dream is a very private thing: nobody can enter into anybody's dream. Ordinarily that is not possible. Even two lovers cannot enter into each other's dream. Dreaming is a totally private thing and if somebody can enter into your dream, suddenly your privacy is violated.

One becomes afraid. If somebody can enter into your dream, then somebody can watch your thoughts, and somebody can watch your feelings, and somebody can see your within... and the fear. Just think about it. If somebody could look into you and see your thoughts and your feelings, you would be scared to death.

Because everybody is carrying so many ugly things, and nobody can see that things are okay.

'If you could see into each other,' psychologists say,'if people could see into each other, love would become impossible.' Friendship would never be possible; there would only be enemies in the world. Just think what you have been thinking about your lover: just a little anger, and you would like to kill him. If people could watch each other's minds, you would be completely violated; there would be fear. The man was afraid.

These people were asking for the miracles to happen. It had happened, but they were not ready. Because, to see a miracle one needs the vision to see it, one needs a totally different gestalt. The miracle is happening every moment -- the whole existence is miraculous and every moment of life is a miracle. You cannot find greater miracles than are already happening all around you. But you cannot know, you cannot see, you are not ready. You go on living in your drab and dull mind, almost asleep.

I have heard: A welfare worker once said to a confirmed drunkard,'The last time we met I was very happy, because you were sober. Today I am unhappy to see you drunk again.''Well,' said the drunkard,'it is my turn to be happy today, sir.'

Your happiness consists only of your unconsciousness. Whenever you are conscious, you become unhappy. And unless you can be consciously happy, your happiness is not worth the bother. I work on so many people: the moment they start becoming conscious they become unhappy. They come to me and they say,'What are you doing? We had come here to become more happy, and the more we become conscious, the more unhappy we feel.' Because the happiness that consisted of their unconsciousness is disappearing, and that was all the happiness they knew. They have not known any happiness which is conscious.

They become unhappy, disillusioned.

If they escape, they miss the opportunity. If they persist, first the happiness of unconsciousness will disappear, and there will be a time, an interval of much agony, much chaos, much anarchy. They will lose all their identity. They will not be able to know who they are, because all that they knew about themselves belonged to their unconsciousness. They will be completely lost, almost mad.

But, if they persist, soon a new sort of happiness, a new sort of blissfulness which has nothing to do with illusions and unconsciousness arises. If you cannot be happy consciously, your happiness is not worthwhile; -it is useless. People go on living in their sleep -- sometimes their eyes are closed, sometimes their eyes are open, but the sleep continues. It is rarely broken!

Those disciples were standing talking about Jesus, and Jesus was there. They could not see. It seems impossible. No, it is not impossible; it is just natural to human unconsciousness.

One day it happened: Mulla Nasrudin came to see me.'Why have you wrapped a thread around your finger?' I asked the Mulla.

He said,'My wife wrapped it to remind me that I should not forget to post a letter for her.'

'Have you posted the letter?' I asked.

'No,' said the Mulla,'she forgot to give it to me.'

This is how we go on living: without any selfremembering, without any awareness, without any consciousness.

Jesus said,'Peace be unto you'...

BUT THEY WERE TERRIFIED AND AFRIGHTED, AND SUPPOSED THAT

THEY HAD SEEN A SPIRIT.

AND HE SAID UNTO THEM: WHY ARE YE TROUBLED? AND WHY DO

THOUGHTS ARISE IN YOUR HEARTS?

'Can't you see me? Why are these thoughts arising in your minds and in your hearts? Can't you see me? Can't you recognize me? I lived for years with you, and you lived for years with me. Don't you know my face?'

AND HE SAID UNTO THEM: WHY ARE YE TROUBLED? AND WHY DO

THOUGHTS ARISE IN YOUR HEARTS?

BEHOLD MY HANDS AND MY FEET, THAT IT IS I MYSELF.

HANDLE ME AND SEE, FOR THE SPIRIT HATH NOT FLESH AND BONES, AS YE SEE ME HAVE.

Pitiable humanity... even Jesus has to bring proofs that he is. And the proofs that you ask are proofs of matter, of materiality. A Jesus, even a Jesus has to show you:'Behold my hands and my feet.' You cannot see, you cannot face the reality, the infinite reality that is confronting you. Hands and feet you can believe in; matter is needed. The immaterial becomes non-existential.'Handle me and see, for a spirit hath not flesh and bones as ye see me have.'

How far we have fallen into unconsciousness! How far we have become insensitive! We can only feel the most gross, we cannot feel the subtle.

And when he had thus spoken, he showed them his hand and his feet....

Pitiable humanity, that a Jesus has to give you evidence for his existence, and the evidence has to be material. He showed his hands and his feet.

AND WHILE THEY YET BELIEVED NOT... because they were so frightened:'Who knows? That ghost may be playing tricks? Who knows? How can a dead man come back?' Jesus was crucified, they had seen him die:'How could he come? It is impossible. It is some trick, some ghost playing a game.'

AND WHILE THEY YET BELIEVED NOT FOR JOY, AND WONDERED, HE SAID UNTO THEM: HAVE YE HERE ANY MEAT?

These are very symbolic words. Now he is coming to the grossest, because you cannot see the subtle. Even a Jesus has to descend to your plane; only then can you see him. You cannot see his peak, you can see only his feet, and even those are difficult to believe.

HAVE YE HERE ANY MEAT?

AND THEY GAVE HIM A PIECE OF A BROILED FISH, AND OF AN

HONEYCOMBE.

AND HE TOOK IT, AND DID EAT BEFORE THEM -- because a spirit cannot eat. Food is needed for the body. A Spirit has no body; food is irrelevant. And he ate meat, the grossest food. This is just symbolic.

Jesus' whole life is a life of silence, defined by parables.

AND HE TOOK IT AND DID EAT BEFORE THEM.... Only then could they believe.

It is said that when he ate, then they recognized him because of the way, the manner. Nobody else could eat like Jesus. They had watched him eating with them for many years. Just three days before, there was the Last Supper. The manner of this man was totally different; it was not like anybody else. Whenever he ate, he would eat in such a prayerful mood, in such deep gratefulness, in such infinite delight, with such joy -- his eating was a celebration.

Only when he ate could they understand -- 'Yes, this seems to be our Jesus, because nobody else can bring such quality to such ordinary things as eating.'

Whatsoever he touched became holy, wherever he moved became holy ground.

I have heard an anecdote: An impressive dinner was given by a literary society in Milwaukee. At the conclusion Madame Mordjeska asked if she might not express her appreciation by giving a short Polish recitation. Otis Skinner, one of the guests, describes what she did:'Her liquid voice became by turns melancholy and gay; impatient, tragic, light with happiness and blighting with bitterness. There was not a note in the gamut of emotions she did not touch. She finished with a recurrent rhythm, fateful and portentious. We were clutched by the spell. We did not know what it was about, but we knew it was something tremendous.

Someone asked what it was. She answered with a sly smile,'I merely recited the alphabet.'

But if you know how to sing, even an alphabet can become a tremendous song. If you know how to sing, if you know how to dance, then any movement of your body becomes tremendously meaningful. Then each gesture becomes graceful.

Then each gesture exhibits something, manifests something of the unknown.

Even an ordinary alphabet can become tremendously significant.

Jesus knew how to eat, he knew how to live, he knew how to love. Even the ordinary act of eating food became totally different -- the quality of it. Nobody else has ever eaten that way, walked that way, looked that way. He had to Come down to the most ordinary thing only because he hoped that his disciples might be able to recognize. And they recognized.

THEN OPENED HE THEIR UNDERSTANDING, THAT THEY MIGHT

UNDERSTAND THE SCRIPTURES....

Once they recognized, they were happy. Why did he try? Why did he make any effort? -- so that they might understand the scriptures. The scriptures go. on saying that you are deathless; all the scriptures of the world. It has, nothing to do with the scriptures of the Jews alone; all the scriptures of the world go on saying that you are deathless. Nobody except Jesus had given such a proof of it. Nobody had come after death to give witness that those scriptures were right. Not even a Buddha had given that proof; not even a Krishna had given that proof. It is unique to Jesus to come back from the doors of death, to descend back into the world, to become a witness to all scriptures. Jesus is the very embodiment of the foundational law of life: that everything is eternal and immortal, that nothing dies, that nothing can die; that there is only one thing that is a lie, and that is death. Only death is impossible and everything else is possible.

THEN OPENED HE THEIR UNDERSTANDING, THAT THEY MIGHT

UNDERSTAND THE SCRIPTURES... the message of centuries, the one and only message of all religion -- that you are deathless... AND SAID UNTO THEM: THUS IT IS WRITTEN,. AND THUS IT BEHOVED CHRIST TO SUFFER, AND

TO RISE FROM THE DEAD THE THIRD DAY.

This is very meaningful. Whenever you die, if you die unconsciously -- as everybody almost always dies -- then within three days you are reincarnated in a new body, you enter a womb. That's why in India the third day after anybody's death is very significant, because the third day is symbolic that person is reborn, has somewhere taken birth. If you die consciously, which only a Buddha. or a Jesus does, then it is up to you. You are not going to be born again in any other womb. Then it is up to you; you are totally free. If you want to descend, you can use the old body; if you don't want to descend back, you can disappear into the whole. In Jesus' case the old body was saved. After his crucification his body was put in a cave and the door of the cave was blocked by a rock. Now it is a mystery what happened, because the body disappeared from there.

Jesus belonged to a certain sect called Essenes. Jesus himself was trained by the Essenes, he was a disciple in their school. They had worked for him, they were his' Masters, they had prepared him. The Essenes were an esoteric group working almost in secret. When Jesus was crucified, they removed his body, they protected his body for three days. They helped, because if the body is not protected then the soul cannot descend back.

In India, we burn the body precisely for this purpose, so that the soul cannot enter into the old body. There is a tendency, even in unconscious souls -- a clinging to the old, a fear of the new. And if there is a choice between the old body and a new child's body in a womb, your mind will choose your old body.

And there is a fear that the soul may enter back into the body, and that body is useless now rotten, old. It has to be dropped and changed. That's why in India we burn the body immediately, so that there is no possibility of the body being there for the soul to enter into. In any accident it should not be allowed. Only the bodies of saints, of people who die consciously, are not burned in India. They are preserved in special graves we call SAMADHIS. It is the same word we use for the fourth state of consciousness, of transcendence. We call the grave of a saint

'samadhi'. His body is preserved there as a link. People who cannot be in direct contact with the saint can come to the body, and the body can function as a medium. Through the body they can still be in contact with the soul which has been lost into the whole, and they can be helped.

Jesus' body was preserved for three days by the Essenes, one of the most important groups on the earth, one of the most important esoteric groups. After three days Jesus entered his body again. Three days is a time limit. One needs to be out of the body for three days to be completely purified of all grossness, of all dust that clings to one's consciousness and soul.

THUS IT IS WRITTEN, AND THUS IT BEHOVE CHRIST TO SUFFER, AND TO

RISE FROM THE DEAD THE THIRD DAY. And it was a prophecy in the old scriptures that this would happen: the third day Christ would come back, just to show that life is immortal.

AND THAT REPENTENCE AND REMISSION OF SINS SHOULD BE

PREACHED IN HIS NAME AMONG ALL NATIONS, BEGINNING AT

JERUSALEM.

AND YE ARE WITNESSES OF THESE THINGS.

'And repentance and remission of sins': Jesus gave a proof that death is just a false notion. Nothing dies. Why is this proof needed? Because if the soul is immortal, then your whole life will have to be transformed. Then you will have to arrange your life in a totally different light. If only this life is all -- you begin with birth and you end with death -- then what is the meaning of virtue or sin?

Whatsoever you do is irrelevant; one day everybody dies, sinner and saint. Dust unto dust -- nothing remain so what is the difference between virtue and sin? If life is mortal, then there is no difference. Then it is just a social utility, a convenience, but nothing of much importance.

But if the soul remains, if nothing dies, then there is a tremendous difference between virtue and sin. Virtue means: to live as if you are to live forever; sin means: to live without any consciousness of your eternity. Sin means to live in unconsciousness, virtue means to live in awareness.

If you become aware, you become aware of the deathless within you.

If you are unconscious, unaware, you are living only in the body, the mortal.

And a person who lives for the body, in the body, and only for the body, lives in sin. Jesus gave the proof.

AND THAT REPENTANCE AND REMISSION OF THE SINS SHOULD BE

PREACHED IN HIS NAME AMONG ALL NATIONS, BEGINNING AT

JERUSALEM.

And he said to his disciples,'Now go and spread whatsoever you have seen all over the earth. Go and tell everybody on the earth. Spread the good news that there is no death, that one man has proved that life is eternal, that one man has come back from death, that one man has proved that death can be conquered.

And if you become a witness,' he said to his disciples,'you will be able to persuade people not to live in sin, not to live in unconsciousness. Tell them to repent for whatsoever they have done in the past, to ask forgiveness for it. And tell them, because you have been a witness, that the impossible has become possible: death can be conquered, because death does not exist. Tell them that if they ask, they will be forgiven.'

Christianity, the whole of Christianity depends on this simple sentence:'If you repent, you can be forgiven.' Christianity is unique in this sense. No other religion, particularly Indian religions, talk of repentance and forgiveness. They are more scientific, in fact, more technological. They say: You have done something wrong, you have to undo it. You have to do something good, you have to keep everything in balance. Nobody can forgive you; you have to change your life, your karmas, your actions.

Christianity has a tremendously beautiful concept of forgiveness. Christianity says: If you ask to be forgiven from your deepest core, you will be forgiven.

Why? Is there somebody who can forgive you?, No, but if you ask in intense passion to be forgiven, the very idea of repentance becomes forgiveness. If you have really asked, realized that you have done something wrong; if it has been a total realization and you accept the responsibility that it was wrong and that you are ready to repent for it, and you repent wholeheartedly, the very repentance becomes the forgiveness. Then there is no need to do anything else, because all sins are nothing but unconscious acts. Repentance makes you conscious, alert.

Sin is like darkness. You bring a light, a lamp into darkness and darkness disappears.

Sin is because you are asleep.

If you repent, you awake yourself. Because there is no other way to repent unless you awake yourself, unless you come to realize and see what you have been doing, how you have been living, how you have been wasting, how you have been hurting. When you come to realize it, a flame starts burning in you, an awareness; and in that awareness, in that light, darkness disappears. It is not that there is a God personified sitting somewhere on a throne in heaven who goes on forgiving you. There is nobody to forgive you. But if you repent, you will be forgiven.

God is not a person; God is the totality. God is existence, the totality of being. It is not that you have to pray to Him so that He can forgive, no. In your praying you are forgiven. The very prayer, the very recognition that you have been wrong and you recognize it and you repent, is enough. All that you have been up to then is, wiped, washed. You are cleansed of it. The old is gone, the new is born.

This is resurrection.

AND THAT REPENTANCE AND REMISSION OF SINS SHOULD BE

PREACHED IN HIS NAME AMONG ALL NATIONS, BEGINNING AT

JERUSALEM.

AND YE ARE WITNESSES OF THESE THINGS.

And Jesus told them,'You have witnessed the greatest thing that has ever happened: the resurrection. Now go and spread the good news to those who were not fortunate enough to be here. Go to the housetops and tell everybody.'

And those disciples went all over the earth. They carried authority. They had seen something which nobody had seen before them. In their eyes you could see the reflection of Jesus coming back from death. In each of their gestures you could feel the presence of Jesus: they had seen, they had become witnesses to something. They carried authority. They created a great movement; beginning in Jerusalem it spread all over the earth. It is just as you throw a pebble in a silent lake: it falls at a certain point and then ripples arise, and ripples go to the farthest shores.

Jesus is a whole art of inner transformation. I say art, I don't say science. When I talk on Patanjali, I can say that whatsoever Patanjali says is a science. When I talk on Buddha, I can say that whatsoever Buddha says is a psychology. But not with Jesus. He has given an art, because he has given love, not law. If you understand Jesus, by and by, you will become aware that it is not a question of following a certain rule. Rather, it is a question of following a quality of love. Love is the only thing that transcends death, because love is the only thing that life exists for.

Love is the very center of being. If you love, all is forgiven. If you love, you have repented. If you love, one day or other you yourself will become a witness that there is no death.

Accept Jesus' invitation. He is not going to take anything from you. He is going to take only that which you don't have, and he is going to give you life abundant, life eternal.

But don't be bothered about Christianity much. Jesus has been murdered twice.

Once he was murdered in Jerusalem by Jews, but they could not murder him. He survived. After the third day he resurrected. Then he was murdered in Rome, in the Vatican. And they murdered him more efficiently, of course, because they knew that this man had once come out of death. Jews crucified him not knowing that this man could come out of death, so they did not take all the precautions.

Christians killed this man again with all the precautions, and Jesus has not been able to come out again.

Don't be bothered about Christianity. Christianity has nothing to do with Christ.

Jesus is available to all. Jesus is for those who are ready to transform themselves; Jesus is an art of inner transformation, of rebirth.

Listen to his invitation. He still goes on saying,'Come, follow me.'

Table of Contents

Chapter title: Between Adam and Jesus

Chapter title: He Is At Hand