The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Discourses on the 42 Sutras of Buddha

Talks given from 21/08/76 am to 30/08/76 am

English Discourse series

10 Chapters

Year published: 1976

Originally published in two volumes, later released as four volumes.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #1

Chapter title: The most excellent way

21 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

THE BUDDHA SAID:

TO BE FREE FROM THE PASSIONS AND TO BE CALM, THIS IS THE MOST

EXCELLENT WAY.

THOSE WHO LEAVE THEIR PARENTS, GO OUT OF THE HOME, UNDERSTAND THE MIND, REACH THE SOURCE, AND COMPREHEND

THE IMMATERIAL, ARE CALLED SHRAMANAS.

THOSE WHO OBSERVE THE PRECEPTS OF MORALITY, WHO ARE PURE

AND SPOTLESS IN THEIR BEHAVIOUR, AND WHO EXERT THEMSELVES

FOR THE ATTAINMENT OF THE FRUITS OF SAINTSHIP ARE CALLED

ARHATS.

NEXT IS THE ANAGAMIN. AT THE END OF HIS LIFE, THE SPIRIT OF THE

ANAGAMIN ASCENDS TO THE HEAVEN AND OBTAINS ARHATSHIP.

NEXT IS THE SKRIDAGAMIN. THE SKRIDAGAMIN ASCENDS TO THE

HEAVEN (AFTER HIS DEATH), COMES BACK TO THE EARTH ONCE MORE, AND THEN ATTAINS ARHATSHIP.

NEXT IS THE SROTAPANNA. THE SROTAPANNA DIES SEVEN TIMES AND

IS BORN SEVEN TIMES, WHEN HE FINALLY ATTAINS ARHATSHIP.

BY THE SEVERANCE OF PASSIONS IS MEANT THAT LIKE THE LIMBS

SEVERED THEY ARE NEVER AGAIN MADE USE OF.

GAUTAM BUDDHA is like the highest peak of the Himalayas, like Gourishanker... one of the purest beings, one of the most virgin souls, one of the very rare phenomena on this earth. The rarity is that Buddha is the scientist of the inner world -- scientist of religion. That is a rare combination. To be religious is simple, to be a scientist is simple -- but to combine, synthesize these two polarities is incredible. It is unbelievable, but it has happened.

Buddha is the richest human being who has ever lived; rich in the sense that all the dimensions of life are fulfilled in him. He is not one-dimensional.

There are three approaches towards truth. One is the approach of power, another the approach of beauty, and the third the approach of grandeur.

The scientific approach is the search for power; that's why Lord Bacon said

'knowledge is power'. Science has made man very powerful, so much so that man can destroy the whole planet earth. For the first time in the history of consciousness man is capable of committing a global suicide, a collective suicide.

Science has released tremendous power. Science is continuously searching for more and more power. This too is an approach towards truth, but a partial approach.

Then there are poets, mystics, people with the aesthetic sense. They look at truth as beauty -- Jalaludin Rumi and Rabindranath Tagore and others, who think that beauty is truth. They create much art, they create new sources of beauty in the world. The painter, the poet, the dancer, the musician, they are also approaching truth from a totally different dimension than power.

A poet is not like the scientist. The scientist works with analysis, reason, observation. The poet functions through the heart -- irrational... trust, love. He has nothing to do with mind and reason.

The greater part of religious people belong to the second dimension. The Sufis, the Bauls -- they all belong to the aesthetic approach. Hence so many beautiful mosques, churches, cathedrals, temples -- Ajanta and Ellora -- they were created by religious people. Whenever religious activity predominates, art is created, music is created, great painting is created; the world becomes a little more beautiful. It doesn't become more powerful, but it becomes more beautiful, more lovely, worth living.

The third approach is that of grandeur. The old Bible prophets -- Moses, Abraham; Islam's prophet Mohammed; Krishna and Ram -- their approach is through the dimension of grandeur... the awe that one feels looking at this vastness of the universe. The Upanishads, the Vedas, they all approach the world, the world of truth, through grandeur. They are full of wonder. It is unbelievably there, with such grandeur, that you can simply bow down before it

-- nothing else is possible. One simply feels humble, reduced to nothing.

These are the three dimensions ordinarily available to approach towards truth.

The first dimension creates the scientist; the second, the artist; the third, the prophets. The rarity of Buddha consists of this -- that his approach is a synthesis of all the three, and not only a synthesis but it goes beyond the three.

He is a rationalist. He's not like Jesus and he is not like Krishna -- he's absolutely a rationalist. Einstein, Newton or Edison cannot find any flaw in his reasoning.

Any scientist will be immediately convinced of his truth. His approach is purely logical, he convinces the mind. You cannot find a loophole in him.

Somebody has sent me a beautiful anecdote about a famous atheist, W. C. Fields.

He was doing a tour of the States. One day his manager came into his hotel room and was shocked to see him reading Gideon's Bible.

'Bill!' he said, 'what the hell are you doing? I thought you were an atheist.'

Fields replied, 'Just looking for loopholes, just looking for loopholes.'

But you cannot look for a loophole in the Buddha. Yes, you can look for loopholes in Jesus, there are many -- because Jesus believes, trusts, he has faith.

He is simple like a child. There is no argument in him. The proof exists but there is no argument for it. His whole being is his proof.

But it is not so with Buddha. You may not be at all in harmony with his heart, you may not believe him at all, you may not look at the proof he is, but you will have to listen to his argument. He has both the proof and the argument. He himself is the proof of what he is saying, but that is not all. If you are not ready to look at him he can force you, he can convince you; he is a rationalist.

Even a man like Bertrand Russell, who was an atheist, purely logical, has said,

'Before Buddha I start feeling hesitant. With Jesus I can fight.' He has written a book 'Why I Am Not A Christian' -- a great argumentative book. It has not yet been replied to by Christians; his argument still holds. But before Buddha he suddenly feels hesitant, he is not so certain about his ground -- because Buddha can convince him on his own ground. Buddha is as much an analyst as Bertrand Russell.

You need not be a religious person to be convinced by Buddha, that's his rarity.

You need not believe at all. You need not believe in god, you need not believe in the soul, you need not believe in anything -- still you can be with Buddha, and by and by you will come to know about the soul and about the god also. But those are not hypotheses.

No belief is required to travel with Buddha. You can come with all scepticism possible. He accepts, he welcomes, and he says, 'Come with me.' First he convinces your mind, and once your mind is convinced and you start travelling with him, by and by you start feeling that he has a message which is beyond mind, he has a message which no reason can confine. But first he convinces your reason.

Buddha's religion is supra-rational, but not against reason. This has to be understood in the very beginning. It has something to do with the beyond, supra-rational, but that supra-rational is not against the rational. It is in tune with it. The rational and the supra-rational are a continuity, continuous. This is the rarity of Buddha.

Krishna says to Arjuna, 'Surrender to me.' Buddha never says that. He convinces you to surrender. Krishna says, 'Surrender to me, then you will be convinced.'

Buddha says, 'Be convinced first, then surrender comes like a shadow. You need not worry about it, don't talk about it at all.'

Because of this rational approach he never brings any concept which cannot be proved. He never talks about god. H. G. Wells has said about Buddha, 'He is the most godly and the most godless man in the whole history of man.' Yes, it is so --

most godly and most godless.

You cannot find more godly a person than Buddha. Every other personality simply fades before him. His luminosity is superb, his being has no comparison, but he does not talk about god.

Because he has never talked about god, many think that he is an atheist -- he is not. He has not talked about god because there is no way to talk about god. All talk about god is nonsense. Whatsoever you can say about god is going to be false. It is something that cannot be said.

Other seers also say that nothing can be said about god, but at least they say this much -- that nothing can be said about god. Buddha is really logical, he will not say even this, because he says, 'Even to say that nothing can be said about god, you have said something. If you say, "God cannot be defined," you have defined him in a negative way -- that he cannot be defined. If you say, "Nothing can be said," that too you are saying.' Buddha is strictly logical. He will not utter a single word.

Ludwig Wittgenstein, one of the greatest thinkers of this age, one of the greatest of all the ages also, has said, 'That which cannot be said must not be said. That which cannot be said, one must be silent thereof.' Because to utter something about something which is unutterable is a sacrilege.

Buddha is not an atheist but he never talks about god. That's why I say he is a rarity. He brings many people to god -- he brought more people than anybody else has done. Millions of people were brought to become godly in his presence, but he never uttered the word. Not only god, but even soul, self -- he has no theory about it. He simply says, 'I can show you the way how to go in. You go and see.' He says, 'Buddhas can only indicate the path, they cannot provide you with a philosophy. You are there, go in and see.'

One man came to Buddha. He was a great scholar, a sort of professor, had written many books, was known all over the country. Maulingaputta was his name. He said to Buddha, 'I have come with dozen questions and you have to answer them.'

Buddha said, 'I will answer, but you will have to fulfill a requirement. For one year you will have to be with me in total silence, then I will answer -- not before it. Right now I can answer but you will not receive the answers because you are not ready, and whatsoever I say you will misinterpret because you have too many interpretations crowding your mind. Whatsoever I say will have to pass through your mind. For one year you just be silent so that you can drop the knowledge. When you are empty, whatsoever you want to ask I will answer, I promise you.'

While he was saying this, another of Buddha's disciples, Sariputta, sitting under a tree, started laughing -- a mad laughter. Maulingaputta must have felt embarrassed. He said, 'What is the matter? Why are you laughing?'

He said, 'I am not laughing about you, I am laughing about myself. One year has passed. This man deceived me also. I had come with many questions and he said,

"Wait for one year," and I waited. Now I am laughing because now those questions have disappeared. He goes on asking, "Now, bring those questions!"

but I cannot bring those questions. They have disappeared. So, Maulingaputta, if you really want your questions to be answered, ask now, don't wait for one year.

This man is deceptive.'

Buddha introduced many people, millions of people, to the inner world, but in a very rational way. This is simple -- that first you have to become a receiver, first you have to attain to silence, then communion is possible, not before it.

Buddha never used to answer any metaphysical questions. He was always ready to answer any question about methods, but he was never ready to answer any question about metaphysics. This is his scientific approach. Science believes in method. Science never answers the 'why', it always answers the 'how'.

If you ask a scientist, 'Why is the world there?' he will say, 'I don't know -- but I can answer how the world is there.' If you ask him, 'Why is the water there?' he cannot answer, he will just shrug his shoulders. But he can say how the water is there; how much oxygen, how much hydrogen makes the water happen. He can give you the method, the 'how', the mechanism. He can show you how to make water, but he cannot show you why.

Buddha never asks any 'why' questions, but that doesn't mean that he is an atheist. His approach is very different from other atheists Theists require you to believe, to have faith, to trust. Buddha says, 'How can one believe? You are asking the impossible.' Listen to his argument.

He says if somebody is doubtful, how can he believe? If the doubt has arisen already, how can he believe? He may repress the doubt, he may enforce the belief, but deep down like a worm the doubt will go on lurking and eating his heart. Sooner or later the belief is bound to collapse, because it is unfounded; there is no foundation to it. In the foundation there is doubt, and on the foundation of doubt you have raised the whole structure of your belief. Have you watched it? Whenever you believe, deep down there is doubt. What type of belief is this?

Buddha says if there is no doubt then there is no question of belief. Then one simply believes. There is no need for any Krishna to say, 'Surrender, believe' --

there is no point. If Arjuna has faith, he has; if he has not, then there is no way to bring it. Then at the most Arjuna can play a game of showing, pretending that he believes. But belief cannot be enforced.

For those whose faith is natural, spontaneous, there is no question of faith -- they simply believe. They don't know even what belief is. Small children, they simply believe. But once doubt enters, belief becomes impossible. And doubt has to enter; it is part of growth. Doubt makes one mature.

You remain childish unless doubt has penetrated your soul. Unless the fire of doubt starts burning you, you remain immature, you don't know what life is.

You start knowing life only by doubting, by being sceptical, by raising questions.

Buddha says faith comes, but not against doubt, not as belief. Faith comes by destroying doubt by argument, by destroying doubt by more doubt, by eliminating doubt by doubt itself. A poison can be destroyed only by a poison --

that is Buddha's method. He does not say believe. He says go deep into your doubt, go to the very end, unafraid: Don't repress. Travel the whole path of doubt to the very end.

And that very journey will take you beyond it. Because a moment comes when doubt starts doubting itself. That's the ultimate doubt -- when doubt doubts doubt itself. That has to come if you go to the very end. You first doubt belief, you doubt this and that. One day when everything has been doubted, suddenly a new, the ultimate doubt arises -- you start doubting doubt.

This is tremendously new in the world of religion. And then doubt kills doubt, doubt destroys doubt, and faith is gained. This faith is not against doubt, this faith is beyond doubt. This faith is not opposite to doubt, this faith is absence of doubt.

Buddha says you will have to become children again, but the path has to go through the world, through many jungles of doubts, arguments, reasonings. And when a person comes back home, attains back to his original faith, it is totally different. He is not just a child, he is an old man... mature, experienced, and yet childlike.

This sutra, 'The Sutra of Forty-Two Chapters', has never existed in India. It never existed in Sanskrit or in Pali. This sutra exists only in Chinese.

A certain Emperor Ming of the Han dynasty, AD 67, invited a few buddhist masters to China to bring the message of Buddha there. Nobody knows the names of those buddhist masters, but a group went to China. And the Emperor wanted a small anthology of buddhist sayings as a first introduction to the chinese people.

Buddhist scriptures are very big, the buddhist literature is in itself a world --

thousands of scriptures exist and they go into very great detail, because Buddha believes in logical analysis. He goes to the very root of everything. His analysis is profound and perfect, so he goes into very deep details.

It was very difficult. What to translate in a totally new country where nothing like Buddha has ever existed? So these buddhist masters composed a small anthology of forty-two chapters. They collected sayings from here and there, from this scripture and that, from this sermon and that.

This book was compiled in the fashion of confucian analects because it was going to be introduced to a confucian country -- people who had become very well aquainted with the way Confucius talks, with the way confucian scriptures were made and compiled. People were familiar with Confucius, so exactly on the same lines the buddhist masters composed this sutra. The analects of Confucius start every sentence, every paragraph with the phrase 'The master said...' This sutra starts in a similar way -- 'The Buddha said...' Every saying starts with 'The Buddha said...'

In the beginning of this century scholars used to think that the original must have existed in Sanskrit or Pali, then it disappeared, was lost, and this sutra in the Chinese is a translation. That is absolutely wrong. This sutra never existed in India. As it is, it never existed. Of course, each saying comes from Buddha, but the whole work is a new work, a new anthology. So you have to remember that.

And that's why I have chosen it as a first introduction for you to the Buddha's world. It is very simple. It contains all in a very simple way. It is very direct. It is in essence the whole message, but very short, not very long and lengthy as other buddhist scriptures are.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

TO BE FREE FROM THE PASSIONS AND TO BE CALM, THIS IS THE MOST

EXCELLENT WAY.

He always talks about the way, never about the goal. Because he says, 'What to say about the goal? It is futile to talk about it. If you know, you know. If you don't know, there is no way to know about it before you reach it.'

He talks only about the way. He has not even a single word for the goal -- god, brahma, the truth, the absolute, the kingdom of god. No, he has not any word for the goal. All that he talks about is the way.

TO BE FREE FROM THE PASSIONS AND TO BE CALM, THIS IS THE MOST

EXCELLENT WAY.

In this one simple sentence his whole teaching is present. TO BE FREE FROM

THE PASSIONS AND TO BE CALM.... These are two aspects of one phenomenon, two aspects of one coin -- to be free from passions and to be calm.

You cannot be calm if you are not free from passions, and you cannot be free from passions if you are not calm. They both go together and one has to work for both together.

Why is man so tense? Why is there so much anxiety and anguish? Why is man not calm, collected and centered? So many passions go on pulling you this way and that, pushing you this way and that. You are being pulled in many directions, hence you become fragmentary, you become divided, you become split. You lose your center. You forget completely who you are.

Watch. When you are greedy for money, who are you? You are just a greed for money and nothing else. When you are angry, your ego is hurt, who are you?

You are just anger, a wounded ego, nothing else. When you are full of sexual passion, who are you? You are just sexuality, nothing else -- libido. When you are ambitious and you want power, prestige, respectability, who are you? You are simply ambition and nothing else.

Watch, and you will find many passions in you, but you will not find who you are -- all passions pulling you apart, and each passion goes in its own way. If you want money then you will have to sacrifice other passions for it. A man who is mad after money may forget all about sex. It is very easy for a miser to be celibate. In fact, celibacy may be a sort of miserliness. You don't want to share your energy, you don't want to share your sexual energy with anybody. You are a miser.

A person who is politically ambitious can become celibate very easily because his whole passion drives him in one way. A scientist who is too much into his search can forget all about women. It is easy. If one passion possesses you completely then you can forget everything else.

It is a well-known fact that scientists are very absent-minded people. Their whole mind goes into one direction, but then they become very very poor also. Their field, their vision goes on becoming narrower and narrower and narrower. That's what specialization is. A greedy person becomes narrower and narrower and narrower. He thinks, meditates, only about money; he goes on counting money.

His whole mind knows only one music and that is that of money; only one love, and that is that of money.

In one way, the people who are possessed by one passion are in a way integrated. They are not rich, they don't have many dimensions to their being, they have only one taste -- but they have a certain integration. They are not split.

You will not find this type of person going mad, because they are mad in one direction, so they are not split. But this happens rarely. Ordinarily a person runs in all the directions.

I have heard:

A scientist and a gorilla were sent into outer space together. Pinned to the front of the gorilla's space-suit was an envelope with special instructions in it. Dying of curiosity, the scientist waited until it was the gorilla's turn to sleep so that he could sneak a peek into the envelope.

Very carefully he slit the envelope open and unfolded a single piece of paper that was inside. Printed on it was the following: DON'T FORGET TO FEED THE

SCIENTIST.

A scientist becomes one-pointed; his life is that of concentration. A concentrated person attains to a false sort of unity. Ordinarily people are not concentrated.

Meditation is far away -- they are not even concentrated. Their life is hodge-podge, a mess. One of their hands is going towards north, one leg is going towards south, one eye is going to the east, another eye is going to the west. They are going in all directions. This pull and push of many directions takes them apart. They become fragmentary, they lose wholeness. How can you be silent, how can you be calm?

The person who is concentrated also cannot be calm, because his life becomes lopsided. He is just moving in one direction; all other sides of his life are starved.

A scientist never knows what beauty is, what love is. He does not know what poetry is. He is too much confined to his mathematical world. He becomes lopsided. His many parts are starved, hungry. He cannot be calm. When you are starved, how can you be calm?

The person who is moving in all directions has a little more richness than the specialist, but his richness has a schizophrenia in it; he becomes split. How can you be silent and calm when so many are your masters, pulling you into different directions?

These are ordinarily the two types of people, and both are uneasy, deep in turmoil.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

TO BE FREE FROM THE PASSIONS AND TO BE CALM, THIS IS THE MOST

EXCELLENT WAY.

What is his way?

THOSE WHO LEAVE THEIR PARENTS, GO OUT OF THE HOME, UNDERSTAND THE MIND, REACH THE SOURCE, AND COMPREHEND

THE IMMATERIAL, ARE CALLED SHRAMANAS.

This word has to be understood, this is very basic -- SHRAMANA. In India two paths have existed. One, that of the brahmin; another, that of the shraman. The path of the brahmin is the path of grace. The brahmin believes that by your own effort you cannot arrive. Your effort is so small, you are so tiny. How can you conceive of knowing truth by your own effort? God's help will be needed, grace will be needed.

The path of the brahmin is the path of grace, so you have to pray. Only when god helps can you move on the path. Unless he wills, you cannot arrive. There is no possibility for you to move alone. God is necessary, his help is necessary, his hand is needed. Unless he takes you above the world, you will be struggling in vain. So, prayer is the path. The brahmin believes in prayer.

The shramana is just diametrically opposite. The word 'shramana' comes from a root 'shram'. Shram means to exert oneself, to make effort. Shram means effort.

There is no possibility of any grace, because Buddha never talks about god.

Buddha says, you don't know god -- how can you pray? To whom are you going to pray? Your prayer will be in deep ignorance. How can you pray to a god you don't know, you have never seen? What type of communication is possible? You will be just talking to the sky, empty sky. You may be just talking to yourself as well. It is mad.

Have you seen mad people talking to themselves -- sitting alone talking to somebody? They are talking to somebody, but everybody knows that there is nobody else. They are talking to themselves.

To the rationalist approach of Buddha, a man praying to god is mad, crazy. What are you doing? Do you know god exists? If you know then there is no need to pray. You say that to know god, you are praying. The brahmin says, 'We can know god only by prayer, by his help, by his grace.'

Now this is absurd, logically absurd. You are moving in a circle. You say, 'We can know god only by prayer.' Then how can you pray? -- because you don't know god yet. And you say, 'Only by prayer will we be able to attain to his grace.' This is a vicious circle, this is illogical. The flaw is very clear, the loophole is apparent.

This is the problem with the ordinary religious person -- he cannot argue. The atheist can destroy your whole argument in a second. Religious people avoid argument, because they know they don't have any base from which to argue.

You say, 'We are searching for god,' and then at the same time you say, 'Only by prayer will we be able to search for him.' You don't know yet -- prayer is not possible. And if you know him, prayer is not needed.

Buddha says only by your own effort, by your own shrama, will you achieve him. There is no question of any grace. In a way it looks very hard, in another way it seems to be very very scientific.

You are alone here, lost in this forest of the world, and sitting under a tree you are just praying, not knowing to whom you are praying, where the god is, whether he is or not. You may be wasting your time. If there is no god, then...?

All the time that you wasted in prayer could have been used to search, to find out.

Buddha says once you understand that you are lost and you have to find your own way and there is no help coming, you become responsible. Prayer is an irresponsibility. To pray is just to avoid. To pray is to be lazy. To pray is just an escape.

Buddha says effort is needed. And it is also insulting to pray. So in the buddhist structure nothing like prayer exists, only meditation. You can meditate, you cannot pray.

This is the difference between meditation and prayer. Prayer needs a belief in god, meditation needs no belief. Meditation is purely scientific. It simply says that there are states of mind where thinking stops. It simply says there are ways to stop the thinking, to drop thinking and to come to a silent state of mind... a tranquil, serene state of mind. And that state of mind gives you what truth is, gives you the glimpse, opens the door -- but it is only by your own effort.

Man is alone and has to work hard, and if you miss, only you will be responsible.

If you don't arrive, you cannot blame anybody because there is nobody to blame.

The path of Buddha is the path of the shramana -- one who believes in his own effort. It looks very austere, arduous. One starts feeling afraid. In our fear we need somebody's help. Even a belief that somewhere some god exists, gives us relief.

I have heard:

The seasick passenger lying listlessly on his deck chair stopped a passing steward. Pointing into the distance, he said, 'Over there -- it's land, isn't it?'

'No, sir,' replied the steward. 'It's the horizon.'

'Never mind,' sighed the passenger, 'it's better than nothing.'

But the horizon is nothing. How can it be better than nothing? It only appears, it is not there. Nothing exists like the horizon; the horizon is just illusory. But that too, to a seasick passenger, seems to be good. At least something -- better than nothing.

Belief, to Buddha, is like the horizon. Your gods are like horizons, mirages. You believe in them because you feel alone. You don't know they are; you create them because you need them. But your need cannot be a guarantee of their truth. Your need cannot be a guarantee of their reality.

You are in a dark night passing through a forest. You are alone. Your need is there for a companion. You can imagine a companion, you can start talking to a companion, you can even start answering as from the companion. It will give you an illusion that somebody is there. You can believe in the companion, you can be completely hypnotized by it, but that does not mean that you can create the companion.

People start whistling when they are alone. Passing in a dark night, they start whistling. That helps, it is better than nothing. You listen to your own noise and it gives you the idea that there is somebody else. People also start singing.

Listening to their own voice gives a feeling that there is somebody else also.

Because you have always listened to others talking. The very sound that you can hear gives you a feeling that the other must be there.

But Buddha says that just because you need, reality has no necessity to fulfill it.

Reality does not change by your need. Your need is true -- that you are alone and you would like a father figure in the sky, a god. That's why Christians call god

'the father'; it is a father figure.

Psychologists will agree with Buddha. Psychologists say that god is just a need for a father figure. Every small child has a father -- protective, giving security.

One feels absolutely okay because the father is there. Then you grow, then you become mature. Then your father is no more a protection. Then you know that your father is as weak as you are. Then you know your father is as limited as you. And by and by you see your father is becoming weaker and weaker every day, becoming old.

Your trust is lost, but the need remains. You need some father figure. You want somewhere to go and talk to your father, who is no more there. Lost, you create a god, or you create a mother -- call it Kali, Amba... but you create a father or mother figure. It is your need, certainly -- a psychological need -- but this need keeps you immature.

Buddha is all for maturity. He says drop all these figures, they don't exist, and even if they exist this is not the way to find them. The way is to become calm and quiet. The way is to become so alone and so accepting of one's aloneness that there is no need for anybody's grace. Become so silent and alone that you are fulfilled within your own self, that you are enough unto yourself. Then you will be calm. Then a grace will start happening to you, but it is not a grace coming from god. It is a grace spreading from your own center towards your own periphery. You will become graceful.

Buddha sitting, standing, walking, is just grace personified. But this grace is not coming from somewhere else; it is surfacing from his own innermost depths, it is bubbling up from his own center. It is like a flower that has flowered on the tree -

- it has come out of the tree. It is not a gift from somebody else, it is a growth.

This is the difference between the path of the brahmin and the path of the shramana. On the brahmin's path, truth is a gift, god's gift. On the shramana's path, truth is a growth that happens to you from your own being. It is yours.

Truth is not something outside to be discovered, it is something inside to be realized.

THOSE WHO LEAVE THEIR PARENTS, GO OUT OF THE HOME, UNDERSTAND THE MIND, REACH THE SOURCE, AND COMPREHEND

THE IMMATERIAL, ARE CALLED SHRAMANA.

Now, the definition of the shramana. Who is called a shramana? Who is really a seeker of truth? Who is making real effort, authentic effort to discover what truth is? The first thing -- they leave their parents.

Now this is very symbolical, don't take it literally. It is very symbolical and very psychological. A child has to remain for nine months in the womb of his mother... totally protected, in such a beautiful warm atmosphere that never again will he be able to find such comfort. No worry, no responsibility -- even for breathing. He has no need to breathe himself, the mother breathes for him. He has no worry that he will be hungry or left hungry; the mother goes on feeding him. He is so protected, so secure.

Psychologists say that in religious search people are seeking the same womb again. All their concepts of paradise are nothing but magnified wombs...

absolutely comfortable. In the hindu mythology they say that in heaven there is a tree called kalpavriksha -- wish-fulfilling tree. You sit under it, and the moment any desire arises, even before you come to know that it has arisen, it will be fulfilled. You think of food and food will be there, instantly. You think of a bed because you are feeling sleepy -- instantly the bed will be there.

This is what the womb is. Womb is a kalptaru, a wish-fulfilling tree. The child never becomes aware of any need. Before he becomes aware it is fulfilled. It is absolutely automatic. But the child has to leave the womb; it is needed for his growth. Because comfort alone can never help you to grow, because there is no challenge. The child has to leave the womb, and the first thing the child will have to do after leaving the womb is the basis of all survival -- he will have to breathe on his own. He will have to make effort on his own. He is becoming a shramana.

In the mother's womb he was a brahmin. Everything was happening by grace.

Everything was happening, he was not doing anything. But everybody has to come out of the womb. Every brahmin has to become a shramana. Buddha says through being a shramana, growth is possible.

Then the child by and by grows farther away, farther away from the mother.

After the birth he will still have to depend on the breast of the mother. Then a moment will come when he will no more depend on the breast either, but still he will depend on the mother to feed him. Then he will go to school. He is going farther away from the mother, he is becoming more and more independent, he is becoming more and more an individual. Then one day he falls in love with another woman and he is cut off from the mother completely.

That's why no mother can ever forgive the woman who has taken away her son.

Never -- it is impossible for the mother to forgive the woman who has taken away her son... a deep conflict. But a man becomes really mature when he falls in love with a woman, because then he has turned his back towards his mother completely. Now he has turned one hundred and eighty degrees.

Buddha says that in the psychological world still many roots have to be cut. You should become more and more aware that you may have come far away from the mother, but then you create psychological mothers. You may have come far away from the father, but then you create a father figure in the heaven -- god ruling all over the world, the supreme sovereign. And you call him father. Again you are trying to become dependent -- as if you are afraid of your independence.

All these are roots; all the roots have to be cut.

Jesus says somewhere... and I suspect that he must have got those ideas from some buddhist source, because Jesus came five hundred years after Buddha, and by the time Jesus came, buddhist attitudes had spread all over the Middle East.

They had penetrated far into the middle of Asia, they had entered deep into Egypt.

Jesus was brought up in Egypt. He must have come to know. And there is every possibility that he visited India before he again went to Jerusalem to teach. There is every possibility. There are sources that say that he visited the university, the buddhist university, of Nalanda. He must have come to know about the path of the shramana, because in his teachings he says a few things which have no traditional source in jewish ideology.

For example he says, 'Unless you hate your father and mother, you cannot become my disciples.' Christians always feel embarrassed if you say this. What type of teaching is this? -- 'Unless you hate your father and mother....' And you say that Jesus is love and he has come to teach love to the world? And you say that God is love? And the teaching seems to be very full of hatred -- 'Hate your mother and father.' All the great teachers have said; 'Respect your father and mother,' and what nonsense -- Jesus is saying hate? He must have heard it from some sources.

Those sources can only be buddhist, because Buddha says: THOSE WHO LEAVE

THEIR PARENTS, GO OUT OF THE HOME...

Don't take them literally. Don't take Jesus literally either. He is not saying 'hate your father and mother'. He is simply saying cut yourself completely away from father and mother. He is saying cut yourself away from security. Become insecure. Cut yourself from all dependency. Become independent. Become an individual. That's what he is saying.

He is using a very rough language, Buddha is using very cultured language.

Jesus was not very well educated; he was a rough man, a carpenter's son. And the jewish tradition is very rough. The prophets speak in fiery language. Their language looks more political than religious. Buddha was the son of a king --

well educated, well cultured. Their terminology has become different because they are different persons, but the meaning is the same.

One has to leave the parents, one has to leave the home, one has to leave the past.

One has to become totally independent, alone... trembling in that aloneness -- but one has to become alone.

One has to become absolutely responsible for oneself, and then only you can understand the mind. Because if you go on depending on others, your very dependence will not allow you to understand who you are.

Cut all sources, cut yourself away from all relationship. You are left alone, now there is nobody else. You have to see into your own soul. You have to encounter yourself. That is the only way to encounter oneself. Then you reach to the very source of your being, by understanding the mind... AND COMPREHEND THE

IMMATERIAL.

See, Buddha does not say comprehend the spiritual. He says COMPREHEND

THE IMMATERIAL. This is the difference. His approach is so rational, he will not assert something in which you can find a loophole. He will not say 'the spiritual'; he simply says 'the immaterial'.

Ask the physicist, he will understand the buddhist language. He says, 'By analysing the atom we came to electrons.' Electrons are just electric particles, almost immaterial. Matter has disappeared, only energy is there. You cannot call it matter, you can only call it im-matter. And then by analysing the electron they have come to almost emptiness -- immaterial emptiness. The physicist will understand the buddhist terminology.

Buddha also reached the same point by analysing the mind. By analysing the mind he came to a stage where no thought was there... simple emptiness. He calls it immaterial. Thought is the inner material. When you disperse thought and only space remains, it is immaterial.

The same has happened to modern physics. They were analysing matter in the outside world and they came to the immaterial. Buddha reached the immaterial on his inner journey, and science has reached the immaterial in its outer journey, but both have reached the immaterial. Scientists also will not say that this is spiritual. The scientist can only say this much -- that whatsoever was matter is no more there. He cannot say what is there. This much can be said -- that whatsoever we used to think of as matter is no more there. All that we can say is a denial.

Buddha says:

AND COMPREHEND THE IMMATERIAL, THEY ARE CALLED

SHRAMANAS.

Now the categories of shramanas:

THOSE WHO OBSERVE THE PRECEPTS OF MORALITY, WHO ARE PURE

AND SPOTLESS IN THEIR BEHAVIOUR, AND WHO EXERT THEMSELVES

FOR THE ATTAINMENT OF THE FRUITS OF SAINTSHIP, ARE CALLED

ARHATS.

Arhat is the highest state of no-mind. The word 'arhat' means 'one who has conquered his enemies'. Ari means enemy and arhat means 'one who has conquered the enemy'.

Who is the enemy? They are not outside you. The passions, the distractions, the desires, the hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, anger, sexuality -- these are the enemies.

In one way your mind is the enemy, the root enemy. One who has conquered the mind is called arhat. This is the highest state -- one who has come above all the clouds.

Have you sometimes, travelling by air, watched when the aeroplane comes above the clouds? All the clouds are just below you and you are in the pure, blue sky. That is the state, the inner state of arhat. One goes on penetrating the mind.

By and by the clouds of passions are no more there, they are left far behind, and you are soaring higher and higher into pure space, into the immaterial space.

This is the state of arhat.

In buddhist terminology that is the highest state. What Christians call christ, Buddha calls arhat. What Jainas call arihanta; that word also means the same. Or what Hindus call the avatara -- Rama, Krishna -- that is the same state, the state of arhat.

But Buddha is very scientific in that too. He does not call it avatara, because avatara means 'god descending into the world' -- you have to believe in god. He does not call... in any way he does not use any term that has to have some presuppositions. He uses simple terms without any presuppositions.

NEXT IS THE ANAGAMIN.

Arhat is the highest state, next to it is the anagamin. Anagamin means 'one who will not come again', one who...

AT THE END OF HIS LIFE, THE SPIRIT OF THE ANAGAMIN ASCENDS TO

THE HEAVEN AND OBTAINS ARHATSHIP.

It is just below the arhat state.

Anagamin -- the word means 'one who will not come again'. Gone, he will be gone. Gone, he will be gone forever, he will not return. He has come to the point of no return. He is just close to being an arhat, he has passed the clouds. Just on the boundary, he is standing on the threshold of being an arhat. Maybe a small clinging has remained in him, and that clinging is with the body. So when he dies, that clinging also disappears. He will not be coming back.

NEXT IS THE SKRIDAGAMIN.

Skridagamin means 'one who comes back'.

THE SKRIDAGAMIN ASCENDS TO THE HEAVEN (AFTER HIS DEATH

COMES BACK TO THE EARTH ONCE MORE...

Only once.... He has still some clinging; very faint -- but there are still a few roots and he will be pulled back to another womb again. He is not absolutely desireless. Arhat is absolutely desireless. A skridagamin has passed beyond the gross desires, but subtle desires are still there.

What are the gross desires? Desire for money, for power, prestige -- these are gross desires. Desire to be free, desire to be calm, desire to attain to the last state of arhatship -- these are subtle desires, but they are still desires. He will have to come back only once.

NEXT IS THE SROTAPANNA.

The word srotapanna means 'one who has entered into, the stream'. Srota means stream and apanna means 'one who has entered'. Srotapanna means 'one who has entered the stream'. He has just begun his journey on the path. He is no more worldly -- he has become a sannyasin, he has entered into the river. Far is the ocean, but he has entered into the river, he has started.

And when the journey is begun, it will end. Howsoever far it is, it is not far away. The real problem is with those who have not even entered into the stream.

They are standing on the bank. These are the worldly people, standing on the bank. The sannyasin, the bhikkhu, is the one who has entered into the river --

knows well that the ocean is far away, but now half the journey is over, just by entering.

NEXT IS THE SROTAPANNA. THE SROTAPANNA DIES SEVEN TIMES AND

IS BORN SEVEN TIMES, WHEN HE FINALLY ATTAINS ARHATSHIP.

These are just symbolic, don't take them literally... these are just symbolic things.

'Seven' does not mean exactly seven. It means many times he will die, many times he will be born, but his face is turned towards the ocean. He has entered into the Ganges and the journey has started.

BY THE SEVERANCE OF PASSIONS IS MEANT THAT LIKE THE LIMBS

SEVERED THEY ARE NEVER AGAIN MADE USE OF.

And Buddha said that by dropping the passions, he means that it is as if somebody cuts off your hand; then you cannot use it. Or somebody takes your eyes out; then you cannot see through them. A man who is ready to enter into the stream is one who, on his own, voluntarily drops his passions. He says, 'I will not use them again.'

Remember, this is not repression in the freudian meaning of the term. He does not repress it, he simply withdraws his energy from it. Sex remains there -- he does not repress it, he simply does not cooperate any more.

The difference is tremendous. When sex is there and you repress it, you fight with it, you don't go above it, you remain with it. If you fight with it you remain clinging to it, and if you fight with it you will remain afraid of it.

Buddha says one simply does not cooperate with it. A desire, a sexual desire arises -- what will you do? Buddha says you simply watch. Let it be there. It will come and it will go. It will flicker in the mind, will try to attract you; you remain watchful, you don't allow any unconsciousness, otherwise it will enter in you.

You simply remain watchful.

Says Buddha, 'A man has to be just mindful. Then the man is like a house where lamps are burning, where lamps are lit -- the thieves are afraid to enter. When lamps are not there and the house is dark, then thieves enter easily. The man who has really become mindful is like the house where on the door there is a guard, fully awake, and lamps are lit. It is difficult for the thieves to enter, they cannot gather courage.'

The same happens when you are aware -- you have a guard. When you are aware, your house is lit with light. Passions cannot enter you. They can come, they can roam around, they will try to persuade you, but if you simply watch, they will disappear on their own accord because they live by your cooperation.

Don't fight with them and don't indulge in them; just remain aware. Then by and by they will drop like severed limbs.

If you start fighting, you are creating another problem. Instead of being an indulgent person you will become a repressive person. The problem is not solved, only the name is changed.

I have heard:

A doctor was treating a man who had been brought in paralytically drunk. 'If the patient sees green snakes again, give him some of this medicine,' he told the nurse.

Later on he came back to find the man raving -- but the medicine hadn't been given to him. 'Did I not tell you to give him this medicine if he saw green snakes again?' the doctor demanded.

'But he didn't see green snakes,' the nurse replied.

'Oh?'

'No, he has been seeing purple frogs.'

Now whether you see green snakes or you see purple frogs makes no difference -

- you are drunk.

There are people who cooperate with their passions and there are people who fight with their passions -- but both remain with the passions. One is friendly, another is antagonistic, but both remain with the passions and both are ways of subtle cooperation. One has to drop out of the relationship. One has to just become a spectator, a watcher.

Once you start watching you will become aware of layers and layers of passions.

There are many layers. When gross passions are left, more subtle layers will be found.

Our whole life is like an onion. You peel it -- another layer; you peel that --

another layer... fresher, younger, more alive. But if you go on peeling, a moment comes when just emptiness is left in your hands. That's what Buddha calls nirvana -- emptiness. All layers gone.

I have heard:

The guitarist of a pop group was involved in a car accident and sustained injuries to his head. On arrival at the hospital the doctor ordered that his long, thick hair be completely cut off to enable the extent of the injuries to be seen. A nurse was detailed to undertake the task, and she set to work with a large pair of scissors.

After ten minutes or so she said to the young man, 'You went to North Lancaster Comprehensive School when you were younger, didn't you?'

'Yes, I did,' answered the youth. 'Were you there as well?'

'No,' said the nurse, 'I'm from London.'

'Well, how on earth did you know which school I went to?' queried the young man.

'I have just come to your cap,' replied the nurse as she carried on cutting.

Layers upon layers.... And the deeper you cut, the more you will find -- many things that were missing for long, for many years; your cap you will find. The deeper you go in your mind, the deeper you will go in your childhood. Many things forgotten, lost -- again, they are there. Because nothing is ever lost, everything goes on accumulating.

When you come to a point where you cannot find anything, then you have come to your being. The being is not like a layer; the being is simply space, pure space.

The being is simply emptiness.

Buddha calls being non-being, he calls it anatta. Buddha says if you find yourself, then there must be some layer still left. When suddenly you come to a point where you cannot find yourself -- you are, and you cannot find yourself -- then you have come home. And this can be attained only by effort.

This is his framework. From tomorrow we will start moving into his methodology -- the ways of meditation, the ways of inner discipline; the ways how to transcend the ego, the ways how to transcend all. That's why I am going to call this series of talks 'The Discipline of Transcendence'. But this is his framework.

Ordinarily you are standing on the bank. Then you cannot hope, then you are in a hopeless state. If you become a srotapanna, if you enter the stream, that's what I call sannyas. By sannyas you become a srotapanna -- you enter the stream, you take the courage, you take the jump. It is a quantum leap from the bank into the stream. They are very close, but they are totally different.

The bank never goes anywhere. It has no growth, it never moves. It is static, stagnant, stale, dead. And by the side is flowing the river, which is going somewhere.

If your life is not going anywhere, you are standing on the bank. Enter the stream and you start a journey. Your life starts changing, transforming. You start a transfiguration, a metamorphosis. And each moment new visions open their doors to you. One day the river reaches the ocean. That day you become arhat, you dissolve into the ocean.

First srotapanna, then skridagamin, then anagamin, then arhata. These are the states. It is a very scientific framework. From being a worldly man become srotapanna and then your journey has started.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #2

Chapter title: The greatest miracle

22 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

Question 1

SOMEBODY ASKED A ZEN MASTER, 'WHAT IS THE GREATEST MIRACLE

IN THE WORLD?' THE MASTER REPLIED, 'I AM SITTING HERE ALONE

WITH ME.'

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS PARABLE?

IT IS NOT A PARABLE, IT IS SIMPLY A FACT. Look directly into it. There is no need to search for any meaning. It is like a rose flower -- a simple statement. If you start looking for meaning you will miss the meaning of it. The meaning is there, obvious; there is no need to search for it. The moment you start searching for meaning about such simple facts, you weave philosophies, you create metaphysics. And then you go on and on, and you go far away from the fact.

It is a simple statement. The zen master said, 'I am sitting here alone with myself.' This is the greatest miracle. To be alone is the greatest achievement. One feels always a need for the other. There is a tremendous need for the other because something is lacking within ourselves. We have holes in our being; we stuff those holes with the presence of the other. The other somehow makes us complete, otherwise we are incomplete.

Without the other we don't know who we are, we lose our identity. The other becomes a mirror and we can see our faces in it. Without the other we are suddenly thrown to ourselves. Great uncomfort, inconvenience arises, because we don't know who we are. When we are alone we are in very strange company, very embarrassing company. We don't know with whom we are.

With the other, things are clear, defined. We know the name, we know the form, we know the man or the woman -- Hindu, Christian, Indian, American -- there are some ways to define the other. How to define yourself?

Deep down there is an abyss... undefinable. There is an abyss... emptiness. You start merging into that. It creates fear. You become frightened. you want to rush towards the other. The other helps you to hang out, the other helps you to remain out. When there is nobody you are simply left with your emptiness.

Nobody wants to be alone. The greatest fear in the world is to be left alone.

People do a thousand and one things just not to be left alone. You imitate your neighbours so you are just like them and you are not left alone. You lose your individuality, you lose your uniqueness, you just become imitators, because if you are not imitators you will be left alone.

You become part of the crowd, you become part of a church, you become part of an organization. Somehow you want to merge with a crowd where you can feel at ease, that you are not alone, there are so many people like you -- so many Mohammedans like you, so many Hindus like you, so many Christians, millions of them... you are not alone.

To be alone is really the greatest miracle. That means now you don't belong to any church, you don't belong to any organization, you don't belong to any theology, you don't belong to any ideology -- socialist, communist, fascist, hindu, christian, jain, buddhist -- you don't belong, you simply are. And you have learnt how to love your indefinable, ineffable reality. You have come to know how to be with yourself.

Your needs for the other have disappeared. You don't have any loopholes, you don't have any holes, you are not missing anything, you don't have any flaws --

you are simply happy by being yourself. You don't need anything, your bliss is unconditional. Yes, it is the greatest miracle in the world.

But remember, the master says, 'I am here alone with myself.' When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely -- and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. Loneliness is a negative state.

You are feeling that it would have been better if the other was there -- your friend, your wife, your mother, your beloved, your husband. It would have been good if the other was there, but the other is not.

Loneliness is absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself.

Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

If the whole world disappears this zen master will not miss anything. If suddenly by some magic the whole world disappears and this zen master is left alone, he will be as happy as ever, he will not miss anything. He will love that tremendous emptiness, this pure infinity. He will not miss anything because he has arrived home. He knows that he himself is enough unto himself.

This does not mean that a man who has become enlightened and has come home does not live with others. In fact only he is capable of being with others. Because he is capable of being with himself he becomes capable of being with others. If you are not capable of being with yourself, how can you be capable of being with others? You are at the closest quarters. Even with yourself you are not capable of being in deep love, in delight -- how can you be with others? Others are far away.

A man who loves his aloneness is capable of love, and a man who feels loneliness is incapable of love. A man who is happy with himself is full of love, flowing. He does not need anybody's love, hence he can give. When you are in need how can you give? You are a beggar. And when you can give, much love comes towards you. It is a response, a natural response. The first lesson of love is to learn how to be alone.

It is a very significant statement. It has nothing like a parable in it. It is immediate, direct. It is like a rose flower encountering you. You never ask about a rose flower, 'What is the parable of this rose flower?' You don't ask, 'What is the meaning of this rose flower?'

A master is like a rose flower. If you can see, see. If you cannot see, forget. You will never be able to know its meaning because the meaning is just in front of you. Don't make a parable out of it. Parables mean you have started interpreting, and whatsoever you interpret is going to be your interpretation.

I have heard:

Mulla Nasrudin was caught fishing at a place where there was a big sign: No Fishing Here. The warden who caught him asked, 'Nasrudin, can't you see the sign? Can't you read? -- No fishing here.' He pointed to the sign.

Mulla Nasrudin said, 'Yes, I can read, but I don't agree. There is good fishing here. Who says "no fishing here". There is good fishing here. Just look at this lot I have landed today. Whoever put that sign up must be crazy.'

Now this is your interpretation. It is a simple sign -- No Fishing Here. The meaning is not to be found, it is simply there.

When a zen master says something, or when any master says something, his meaning is absolutely clear, obvious. It is just in front of you. Don't try to avoid it. If you start looking for meaning you will look left and right and you will miss that which is in front of you. It is a simple statement: 'I am sitting here alone with me.'

Try it, to have the feel. Just sit alone sometimes. That's what meditation is all about -- just sitting alone, doing nothing, Just try. If you start feeling lonely then there is something missing in your being, then you have not been able yet to understand who you are.

Then go deeper into this loneliness until you come to a layer when suddenly loneliness transforms itself into aloneness. It transforms -- it is a negative aspect of the same phenomenon. Loneliness is the negative aspect of aloneness. If you go deeper into it one moment is bound to come when suddenly you will start feeling the positive aspect of it. Because both aspects are always together.

So be lonely, suffer loneliness. It is difficult, meditation is difficult. People come to me and they ask, 'Yes, we are ready to sit, but give us a mantra so that we can chant a mantra.' What are they asking? They are saying that they don't want to be alone, they don't want to face their loneliness. They will chant a mantra -- the mantra will become their companion. They will say, 'Ram, Ram, Ram' -- now they are not alone. Now this sound of 'Ram' continuously repeated will become their companion.

They are missing the whole point. Transcendental meditation, TM, is not meditation at all, because meditation simply means to be alone, not doing anything -- not even chanting a mantra. Because this is a trick of the mind. That's what the mind has always been doing. When you sit alone, have you watched how many fantasies reveal themselves to you?... endless fantasies, daydreams.

Whenever you are alone, you start daydreaming. Whenever you don't have anything to do and you feel bored, immediately you escape into daydreams.

That's why if a person goes to the desert, to the Arabian Desert, to the Sahara, and sits there, he will start imagining, visions will start coming to him, because a desert is a very monotonous thing. Nothing to pay attention to -- just the same monotonous expanse of sands and sands; nothing to distract, nothing new --

monotonous, boring. A person becomes dreamy, one starts substituting. If there is nothing new outside, one creates one's own imaginative world and starts looking into it.

That's what happens to people who go to the Himalayas and sit in caves to meditate. They start imagining. Then they can imagine anything -- gods and goddesses and apsaras and angels and Krishna playing on his flute, and Rama standing with his bow, and Jesus -- and whatsoever your imagination, whatsoever your conditioning. If you have been conditioned as a Christian, sooner or later in a himalayan cave you will encounter Jesus, and this will be pure imagination. Nothing to distract the mind outside, the mind starts creating its own dreams inside. And when you continuously dream, those dreams look very very real.

Many experiments have been done in the West on sense deprivation. If a person is deprived of all impressions -- his eyes are closed, he is put in a box, his ears are closed, his whole body is encased in foam rubber so the touch is monotonous, the darkness in the eyes is monotonous, the soundlessness is monotonous, everything monotonous -- within two, three hours he starts dreaming -- such fantastic dreams, and so real... realer than real. And if a person is deprived for twenty-one days he will never come back sane. He will become insane, because his imagination will take complete possession of him.

But why does the mind start daydreaming? The scientific explanation is that the mind cannot live alone with itself. So either it needs somebody in reality, or, if in reality somebody is not there, then it creates fantasy. Fantasy is a substitute. The mind cannot live alone.

That's why you dream in the night -- because in sleep you are alone; the world disappears. Your husband is no more there, your children are no more there, your wife is no more there, you are simply alone -- and you have become incapable of aloneness. Your mind simply substitutes another world of dreams; dreams, cycles of dreams the whole night. Why are dreams needed? Because you cannot be alone.

This whole illusion that exists around you is because you have not learned one basic thing -- of being alone. The zen master is right. He says, 'This is the greatest miracle. I sit here alone with myself.' To be with oneself and to be happily with oneself, blissfully with oneself, and not to move into fantasies... then suddenly one is at home, one is entering into one's own abyss.

It appears like emptiness when you enter, but once you have entered it is the very fullness of being, the fulfillment, the blossoming, the climax, the crescendo.

It is not emptiness. It only appears to be emptiness because you have lived with others and suddenly you miss the others; that's why you interpret it as empty.

Others are not there, only you are there -- but you cannot see yourself right now, you simply miss the others.

You have become too habitual; the idea of the other has become very ingrained, it has become a mechanical habit, so when you miss it you feel you are empty, lonely, falling in an abyss. But if you allow and fall into the abyss, soon you will realize the abyss has disappeared, and with the abyss all the illusory attachments have disappeared. Then happens the greatest miracle -- that you are simply happy for no reason at all.

Remember, when your happiness depends on others, your unhappiness also will depend on others. If you are happy because a woman loves you, you will become unhappy if she does not love you. If you are happy for any reason whatsoever, then any day the reason is not there, you will become unhappy. Your happiness will always be on the rocks, you will always remain in stormy weather. You will never be certain whether you are happy or unhappy, because each moment you will see the ground underneath can disappear -- any moment it can disappear.

You can never be certain. The woman was smiling just now, and then she has become angry. The husband was talking so beautifully and suddenly he has lost his temper.

Depending on others is depending -- it is a bondage, it is a dependence, and one can never feel really blissful.

Blissfulness is possible only in total, unconditional freedom. That's why in the East we call it moksha. Moksha means absolute freedom. To be with oneself is moksha because now you don't depend. Your happiness simply is your own, you don't borrow it from anybody. Nobody can take it away, not even death.

Remember, death only separates you from others, it never separates you from yourself. Death seems so frightening because it will snatch you away from others

-- the wife will not be any more with the husband, the mother will not be any more with the children. Death only separates you from others. It cannot separate you from yourself; there is no way to separate you from yourself.

Once you have learned how to be with yourself then death is meaningless, then death does not exist. You become deathless. Then death cannot take anything away from you. That which death can take away from you, you have surrendered on your own accord.

That's what meditation is -- to surrender the non-essential, that which death can take away from you. That which death is going to do, a meditator does on his own accord, voluntarily. Knowing it well -- that this will be taken away -- he surrenders it.

It is immensely beautiful to be alone. There is nothing to be compared with it. Its beauty is the ultimate beauty, its grandeur is the ultimate grandeur, its power is the ultimate power.

Come back home. And the way is: you will have to suffer loneliness first. Suffer it, go through it. You have to pay for the bliss that is going to be yours -- you have to pay for it. This suffering of loneliness is just paying for it. You will be tremendously benefited.

Question 2

YOU SAY TO SANNYASINS TO JUST WORRY ABOUT THEMSELVES -- AND

THEY DO! IN ARICA WE HAVE WHAT IS KNOWN AS GROUP UNITY. THE

RULE IS THIS: THE GROUP ONLY GETS AS HIGH AS ITS LOWEST MEMBER.

THEREFORE OUR EVOLUTION ARE INTERCONNECTED. HUMANITY IS

ONE BODY; WHY STRESS INDIVIDUALITY MORE THAN UNIVERSALITY?

Yes, we are part of each other. Not only humanity is one, existence is one. But this oneness can be felt on two levels: one is in deep unconsciousness and another is in superconsciousness. Either you have to become a tree -- then you are one with the whole; or you have to become a Buddha -- then you are one with the whole. Between the two you cannot be one with the whole.

Consciousness is individual, unconsciousness is universal; superconscious is universal, consciousness is individual. So if somewhere in Arica or somewhere else they are teaching you to be part of the group, you will become unconscious.

The greater possibility is that you will fall from your consciousness. Unless you become a Buddha, you cannot become one, you cannot know the real oneness with the whole.

The real oneness of the whole can be known only in two ways: either become unconscious, lose your consciousness -- individuality is lost; or go beyond consciousness -- then your individuality is lost.

That's why a crowd has so much appeal for people. Have you seen people in a crowd, how happy they look? Mohammedans going to destroy a temple, or Hindus going to kill Mohammedans -- just see how happy, bubbling, radiant with energy. Dull people... you have seen them before, walking on the streets --

dull, dead. Now suddenly they have become very alive -- shouting, cheering each other, rushing towards, as if something beautiful is going to happen.

Why do people feel so happy in a crowd? Why does happiness in a crowd become so infectious? Because in a crowd they fall down, they become unconscious. They lose their individuality, they merge their individuality. By dropping their consciousness they drop their individuality. Then they are happy, then there is no worry, then there is no responsibility.

Have you observed the fact that individuals have not committed great sins in the world? All great sins have been committed by crowds, never by individuals. An army can commit millions of sins. Ask single individuals of that army and they will start feeling responsible. Ask them, 'Can you do the same thing alone?' They will say, 'No. How can I do the same thing alone? It was the crowd, I became lost in it. I forgot myself. The crowd mood, the mob, was too much. I was lost. The crowd was doing something, I simply became a part of it. I have not done it.' Ask single Mohammedans, 'Can you burn a temple or murder Hindus?' Ask Hindus,

'Can you murder Mohammedans -- individually?'

This is a miracle, but we don't observe it. No individual Mohammedan is bad, no individual Hindu is bad..individuals are beautiful people, as people are always beautiful. In a crowd suddenly they change their faces... a metamorphosis happens. They are no more individuals, they are no more conscious beings; they are lost. Then the crowd has its own way; nobody can control it.

Then, of course, Arica is right -- THE RULE IS THIS: THE GROUP ONLY GETS

AS HIGH AS ITS LOWEST MEMBER. That's why I say don't become a member of a group. Otherwise you will be as low as the lowest member. Become individuals. In a group you will always fall to the lowest denominator.

It is natural, it is very scientific. If you are walking with a group of one hundred people, the slowest person will decide the speed. Because the slowest person cannot move faster, he has his limitations. And if the group has to remain a group, the group has to move with the slowest. The faster person can slow down, but the slower person cannot become fast; he has his limitations.

The group is always ruled by the stupid person. The stupid cannot become intelligent, but the intelligent can relapse easily and become stupid. Have you seen any stupid person doing anything intelligent ever? But you have seen many intelligent people doing stupid actions, foolish actions. You can become any moment foolish, but it is not so easy to become any moment wise. A foolish person is very consistent -- he remains foolish. He cannot sometimes be wise, it is impossible. But a wise person is not so consistent; sometimes he relapses, becomes foolish. There are foolish moments in his life. There are holidays in his life when he relaxes a little and does not bother about his wisdom.

If you are tied to a person who is lower than you in evolution, then you will have to walk with that person. Of course he cannot walk with you. Hence I say I also believe in the rule, but I interpret it in a different way. The rule is perfectly true --

THE GROUP ONLY GETS AS HIGH AS ITS LOWEST MEMBER. So if you want to get high, please remember -- never become a member of any group.

Remember to remain individuals. Then you are free to move at your own pace.

Then you are totally free to move alone. In a group you are tied.

And of course, stupid people tend to make groups because alone they cannot rely on themselves. They are afraid, they don't have any intelligence. They know that alone they will be lost. They tend to make groups, crowds. So whenever a church exists, whenever a sect exists, ninety-nine percent it consists of fools. It has to be so. They decide policies of religion, politics and everything.

Beware of this mobocracy and be alert. Because in you also there are moments, stupid moments, when you would like to relax. Then you are not responsible, then there is no worry. Then you can always throw the responsibility on the group. You can always say, 'What can I do? I am walking with the group, and the group is slow, so I am slow. The lowest member is deciding everything.'

If you really want to grow, be alone. If you really want to be free, be responsible.

Hence I insist on individuality. That does not mean that I don't know that the universe is one. But there are two ways to know it: either fall below consciousness, then the universe is one -- but then you don't know it because you have fallen below consciousness; or, go above consciousness, become superconscious, become enlightened, become a Buddha. Then you also know that the whole is one, but then the whole cannot drag you down. In fact a Buddha starts dragging the whole up.

In an unconscious state, the lowest determines the growth rate. In the superconscious state the highest, the greatest decides. A Buddha pulls you up.

His very presence pulls you up towards heights unknown to you, undreamed of.

Then the highest becomes the deciding factor.

That's why in the East we have always emphasized individuality, and we have always emphasized finding an individual master rather than becoming a part of any group. Be individually related to a master. Then the highest determines your life; then you can be pulled by him. In a group, the lowest will determine your life.

Don't be a Hindu. If you can find Krishna, follow certainly -- but don't be a Hindu. Don't be a Christian. If you can find Jesus somewhere, rush to him, forget all about.... But if you cannot find a Jesus, don't be a Christian, because Christianity is a crowd. Jesus is a super-individual. Find a master and live in satsang with a master, live in the presence of the master -- and let it be a personal contact.

I give you sannyas. You don't become part of any church, you don't become part of any crowd. Your relationship is personal with me. There are thousands of sannyasins, but each sannyasin is related to me personally. You are not related to another sannyasin at all, remember. Your relationship is with me... individually, personally.

You don't have to relate to other sannyasins as a group. There is no need. You are all related to me personally, and of course you are related in a certain way with each other, but that is because of me. That relationship is not direct, it is through me.

And I would like you to become more and more individual. One day you will become universal, but that is a hope, it is not a reality yet -- not for you. And if you want to make it reality, you will have to become more and more conscious --

so superbly conscious that one day consciousness is not needed. You have become so conscious that consciousness is no more needed, you can put it aside.

Go and see a drunkard walking on the street. What has he done? He has done the same thing as a Buddha. Watch a Buddha and watch a drunkard -- they both have done the same thing. The drunkard has fallen into unconsciousness and become part of the universal. He has taken alcohol to drown his consciousness and worries, individuality. He has become part of the collective unconscious.

And then there is Buddha, walking with his grace, with his beauty, with his grandeur. He has also disappeared -- but not like the drunkard. He has not fallen below humanity, he has gone beyond humanity. Both are in a way similar, because both are not individuals. So a drunkard has something similar with a Buddha -- both are not individuals. Yet you cannot find two people so far apart, such extremes -- yet they have something similar.

Or, take another example. Patanjali says that sleep and samadhi, deep sleep and samadhi, are similar. Because in samadhi the individual disappears and in deep sleep also the individual disappears. In deep sleep you become part of the unconscious, collective unconscious. In samadhi also you become part of the collective superconsciousness.

They are similar and yet they are extremes, polar opposites. The similarity is only one -- that in both the ego disappears. But it disappears in such different ways. In sleep you become again like vegetables. You vegetate, you are like a rock; you don't have any individuality.

In samadhi the ego is dropped. Now you don't have any limitation, no definition, you are merged with the whole -- but merged with the whole in a tremendous awareness. You are not asleep. Worries have disappeared, because worries exist only with the ego. So there are two ways to drop the worries -- either become part of a group, or become part of the superconscious plane.

The Aricans say something which is true, but what they do is absolutely wrong.

YOU SAY TO SANNYASINS TO JUST WORRY ABOUT THEMSELVES -- AND

THEY DO!

Yes, I say to them just to worry about themselves, because right now that should be their only concern. If they start worrying about the whole world they will not be able to do anything. Even to worry about oneself is too much. To get rid of those worries is too much, it is difficult, and if you are worrying about the whole world then there is no way to get out of it. Then you can be certain you will remain always worried.

And don't think for even a single moment that you are helping the world by worrying about it. You are not helping the world by worrying about it, because a worrier cannot help anybody. He is a destructive force.

So reduce the worries first to the minimum. That is, confine your worries to yourself, that's enough. Be absolutely selfish. Yes, that's what I say -- be absolutely selfish if someday you want to help others. If someday you want to be really altruistic, be selfish.

First change your being. First create a light within your heart, become luminous.

Then you can help others. And you will be able to help without worrying.

Because worrying never helps anybody. Somebody is dying and you sit by his side and you worry. How is it going to help? If the patient is dying and the doctor is worrying, it is not going to help. How much he worries is pointless. He has to do something.

And when a patient is dying, a doctor is needed who knows how not to worry.

Only then can he be helpful, because only then can his diagnosis be clearer, more correct. That's why if you are ill and your own husband is a doctor, he will not be of much help, because he will worry too much about you. Somebody is needed who is impersonal.

A child needs an operation. His own father may be a great surgeon, but he cannot be allowed to operate on the child because he will be worrying too much.

His hand will be shaking -- his own child; he cannot be just an observer. He cannot be objective, he is too much involved. He will kill the child. Some other surgeon is needed who can remain impartial, who can remain far away, aloof, distant, unworried.

So if you really want to help humanity, first you have to become unworried. And to become unworried you have to drop unnecessary worries first. Don't think about the world. The world has continued the same and it is going to continue the same. Don't be foolish. All Utopians are a little foolish -- they expect something which is never going to happen, which has never happened.

All that is possible -- be realistic, be scientific -- all that is possible is that you can transcend worries. So just worry about yourself and find out a way to get above them, beyond them. When you have gone beyond, you can be of tremendous benediction to the world.

Question 3

I FEEL MOST OF THE TIME AS IF I ONLY EXIST IN THE EYES OF OTHERS, AS IF I REACT TO THEIR EXPECTATIONS OF ME. I FEEL NOT THAT I HAVE

TRANSCENDED THE EGO, BUT AS IF I HAVE NO EGO, NO BEING, NO

ESSENCE. I FEEL SO UNREAL. WHERE AM L? WHAT CAN I DO -- OR NOT

DO?

The first thing -- it is not only you who only exists in the eyes of others; everybody is existing that way. That is the common way of existence. You use the other as a mirror. Others' opinions become very important, of immense value

-- because they define you.

Somebody says you are so beautiful; in that moment you become beautiful.

Somebody says you are a fool; in that moment you start suspecting -- maybe you are a fool. You may get angry, you may deny, but deep down you have become suspicious about your intelligence. Somebody says you are so holy and you start behaving like a holy man, because you have to keep your image.

Once the society has decided that you are a criminal, you start behaving like a criminal. Because now what is the point? They have already decided that you are a criminal. Whether you are or not is not going to matter much, so why not be?

Once a person goes to the gaol, he becomes a permanent visitor there; he comes again and again. Once the society has known that he is a criminal and he has been punished, once he has been branded as a criminal, he decides, 'Now, what is the point?'

Psychologists say that if in the family you have been treated as a fool or a buffoon, by and by you start playing the role. You have to accept it because you don't know who you are. At least people call you a fool; they give you a certain definition. You can rely on them. Once a small boy is told that he is stupid -- in the house, in the school -- he starts behaving in a stupid way, because that becomes his definition. Otherwise he does not know who he is.

First thing to understand -- it is not only you who exists only in the eyes of others; everybody else is existing in the eyes of others. This is the world. This is what in India we call the world of maya, illusion. You exist in others' eyes and others exist in your eyes. It is a mutual deception. They don't know who they are, you don't know who you are. You define them, they define you. It is a mutual trick. They play the game of defining you; you play the game of defining them.

And all definitions are false, because your soul is never mirrored in anybody's eyes.

If you want to know who you are, you will have even to close your eyes -- you will have to go withinwards. You will have to forget the whole world, you will have to forget what they say about you. You will have to go deep inside you and encounter your own reality.

That's what I am teaching here -- not to depend on others, not to look in their eyes. There are no clues in their eyes. They are as unaware as you are -- how can they define you?

I have heard about two astrologers who used to come to the marketplace of a certain town every morning to sit there and tell people their future. Just in the morning they would come and they would spread their hands before each other, just to know their own future, what is going to happen on that day whether they are going to earn money or not. And one astrologer would say about the other, and the other would say about the first, and they would both be happy. It was of course free of charge, because both were serving each other. Now, those people were predicting about others' future!

Once it happened, I was staying in a city and a few friends brought a very famous astrologer to see me. He only sees the hand if you pay him one thousand and one rupees. He was thinking that of course he would be paid. He looked at my hand and then he asked for his fee. I said, 'Can't you see that I am not going to pay? You cannot see this much? If you are a real astrologer and you know my future, you should know at least yours.'

You are looking into each other's eyes to find who you are. Yes, some reflections are there, your face is reflected. But your fact is not you; you are far behind the face. Your face has been changing so much that you can't be your face.

Do you remember how you looked on the first day when you entered your mother's womb? There was no face at all. You were there, but there was no face.

You could not have been seen with the naked eye; only a microscope would have helped to see. And there was no face, you were just a body, a cell. But you were there.

Then you started growing and many faces passed. And then you were born. If somebody brings a picture of you the day you were born, do you think you will be able to recognize that this is you? Yes, if somebody says -- your mother and father -- that this is you, you may believe, but you cannot recognize that this is you. Constant change... your face is a flux. It goes on changing every day, every moment.

You are not the face. Somewhere deep down hidden is your consciousness; it is never reflected into anybody's eyes. Yes, a few things are reflected: your actions.

You do something; it is reflected into others' eyes. But your doing is not you. You are far greater than your actions.

Actions are just like dry, dead leaves falling from a tree. Action is like a dead, dry leaf fallen away from you -- it is not you. In your actions there is no definition for you. It is as if you go under a tree and collect all the dry leaves and you think you have known the tree. The tree is far bigger, alive. Any action, the moment it is completed, is dead. It is part of the past, it is no more alive, it is a dead leaf.

Yes, many actions happen to you as leaves happen to a tree. But they go on happening. And there are moments when all the leaves are gone and the tree remains naked, bare against the sky... no leaves. So leaves cannot define the tree, they come and go. In the fall they disappear, in the spring they come again. Great foliage comes, great greenery comes, great flowers come -- but the tree is something else.

You are that being -- the tree. Actions come and go; actions don't define you, they are reflected. And in fact people don't talk about your actions, they talk about their interpretations about your actions. They don't say what you have done, they immediately evaluate it. For example, if you are angry, they think you are doing something bad. They don't reflect your anger, they reflect their attitude about anger.

Now modern research into the human mind says that anger is beautiful, it is not bad. in fact repressing anger is bad -- that is the new interpretation. If you repress the anger it becomes hatred -- hatred is chronically repressed anger. If you simply express your anger you never accumulate enough anger to create hatred.

Just like a small child -- in one moment he is so angry, fire, as if he can destroy the whole world, and next moment he is playing with the same boy, or sitting in your lap, laughing, giggling -- he has completely forgotten. He carries no ill-will, he carries no hatred. Whatsoever comes, passes. Anger comes like a breeze and passes.

If you repress anger then you go on piling it, inside it goes on accumulating. It becomes pus, and then it explodes one day in hatred. A person who becomes easily angry can never murder. A person who never becomes angry and always is in control -- beware of him. He can murder someday because he is accumulating.

Now, this is a new interpretation. I'm not saying whether this is right or wrong, I am simply saying interpretations change. In the past, anger was bad and an angry person was an evil person. Now the Humanistic Potential Movement has created a new interpretation. They say anger is good, it simply shows aliveness; it is pure energy, it is a communication; it is natural, it is human, nothing is wrong in it, don't repress it -- enjoy it.

The new psychology says if you enjoy anger you will become more capable of enjoying love. The old psychology used to say that if you become angry you will lose all love, then your love will disappear. Now the interpretation has completely changed. Now if you repress anger you will become hateful; hatred will be accumulated. And if you express anger, it is nothing but an expression of love.

In fact you become angry only with a person you care about, otherwise you don't bother. Your son is doing something; you become angry because you care, because you love. Your wife is doing something; you become angry because you love, you care. The neighbour's wife is doing the same thing. Let her do -- who bothers? You never become angry because there is no relationship. Anger is relationship.

Again let me remind you I am not saying who is right, who is wrong. I am simply saying that interpretations change and people don't reflect you or your actions; they reflect their interpretations. Now if an old, traditional man is watching you angry, in a tantrum, jumping and jogging and throwing things, he will say you are mad. And the new humanist will say you are human.

I have heard:

The young nurse had only just finished her training and had the misfortune to come across a particularly difficult patient on her first day in the ward. He complained about everything, expected everybody to attend to his every want without delay, and generally made a complete nuisance of himself.

The poor nurse was tired beyond endurance, and, remembering her lectures on nurse-patient relationships, finally lost her control and muttered angrily, 'Ah you

-- you human being!'

Now even 'human being' can be used in a condemnatory sense: 'Ah you -- you human being!' It depends on your interpretations.

Your being is never reflected in the eyes of others. Your being you have to come to know only in one way -- and that is by closing your eyes to all the mirrors.

You have to enter into your own inward existence, to face it directly. Nobody can give you any idea of it, what it is. You can know it, but not from others. It can never be a borrowed knowledge, it can only be a direct experience, a direct experiencing, immediate.

So, don't be worried about it.

I FEEL NOT THAT I HAVE TRANSCENDED THE EGO, BUT AS IF I HAVE NO

EGO, NO BEING, NO ESSENCE. I FEEL SO UNREAL. WHERE AM I?

You are just in between these two worlds. It happens to every meditator. Hm?

You had one identity collected from others' eyes, culled from others' opinions.

Then you start moving inwards; that identity becomes vague, vaguer, starts disappearing. You don't know who you are, and all that you know about yourself is disappearing. Just in between you stand one day.

This is a transitory moment. You have not come in, and you have left the without far away. You are just standing on the threshold. The world is no more there, but you are also not yet. In this moment one feels very unreal, just a phantom, because one has no idea who one is, and all the ideas that one had are lost.

And in fact nobody can transcend ego because ego does not exist. When we say

'transcending the ego' it simply means coming to know that the ego does not exist. It is not something real that you can transcend or you can drop, it is an unreal idea you have to simply understand. That very understanding is transcendence.

Now let me repeat the whole question.

I FEEL MOST OF THE TIME AS IF I ONLY EXIST IN THE EYES OF OTHERS, AS IF I REACT TO THEIR EXPECTATIONS OF ME. I FEEL NOT THAT I HAVE

TRANSCENDED THE EGO, BUT AS IF I HAVE NO EGO, NO BEING, NO

ESSENCE. I FEEL SO UNREAL. WHERE AM L? WHAT CAN I DO, OR NOT

DO?

You are on the threshold. You have come to understand that your identity in the eyes of others is false. Hence you cannot create your ego. The very food for the ego has disappeared. You feel unreal. Ego has been up to now your only reality, and you are feeling lost, you don't know where you are, but I know where you are. You are just in the middle of two worlds -- this world and that. You are just in a transitory moment between sansar and sannyas -- between the world and the real renunciation.

Now, at this moment you are not expected to do anything, because whatsoever you do will take you again back into the world. Doing takes people into the world. Nothing is expected from you to be done. You are not to do anything, you are simply to wait and watch, not do. Not doing will help.

Don't do anything and don't try to change the situation, because if you try changing it you will again fall back to your own known, familiar world; you will again cling to your old identity. You simply wait. Just by waiting, by and by you will slip into the inner world. Nothing is needed to do about it, only non-doing helps.

It is just as if a stream has become muddy. What do you do to clean it? You simply sit on the bank; by and by the dust settles back. Again the stream is flowing clear, crystal clear. Just wait. Sit in between these two worlds. I know it is very inconvenient, very uncomfortable. One wants to have some reality, and it is very unreal. But wait.

This is what, on the path, is called austerity, tapascharya. This is the arduousness, the real arduousness -- when one is losing the old and the new is not coming. You have taken a jump from the old and you have not been able to find where to land -- just hanging in between, in a limbo. It is uncomfortable, but just wait. Things will settle by themselves.

In the inner world, action is not needed; only inaction is helpful. Inaction is the action of the inner world. Lao Tzu calls it wu wei -- inactive action, passive action. You don't do anything, you simply wait and things happen just by your waiting.

It is good that you are freed from the opinions of others. It is better to be unreal than to be falsely real. Your unreality has a reality in it. When you are just real in others' eyes, you are falsely real. You only appear to be real, you are not real.

And now you have understood, beware -- the trap is big and all around, and everybody is ready to force you back into the trap, because nobody likes you to get out of their trap. The father wants you to do things the way he wants them to happen. The mother wants you to do the things as she wants them to be done.

The wife has her own ideas, your children, they have their own ideas. And everybody thinks that he has the right clue, and they all go on driving you crazy.

I have heard:

The familiar screen was carefully placed in position around the patient's bed, and the nurse came in with a tape measure. The patient remained silent and unprotesting as the nurse measured him from head to toe and from shoulder to shoulder, but could contain himself no longer when she measured the distance from the mattress on the bed to the height of his rather large stomach.

'What on earth are you doing, nurse?' he asked weakly.

'I am measuring you for a coffin,' was the unexpected reply.

'But I am not dead!'

'Be quiet! Do you want to make a fool out of the doctor?'

Now, the doctor says, and he knows better whether you are dead or alive. 'Be quiet!' she says. 'Do you want to make a fool out of the doctor?'

Whatsoever you do, you will be wrong, because you will be going against somebody's wishes, somebody's ideas. It is very difficult to please all, and if you go on trying to please.all you will be simply wasting your life. And nobody is pleased, nobody can be pleased, it is impossible to please anybody.

Stop fulfilling expectations of others, because that is the only way you can commit suicide. You are not here to fulfill anybody's expectations and nobody else is here to fulfill your expectations. Never become a victim of others'

expectations and don't make anybody a victim of your expectations.

This is what I call individuality. Respect your own individuality and respect others' individuality. Never interfere in anybody's life and don't allow anybody to interfere in your life. Only then one day you can grow into spirituality.

Otherwise, ninety-nine percent of people simply commit suicide. Their whole life is nothing but a slow suicide. Fulfilling this expectation, that expectation... some day it was the father, some day it was the mother, some day it was the wife, husband, then come children -- they also expect. You have to fulfill their expectations. Then the society, the priest and the politician, and all around everybody is expecting. And poor you there, just a poor human being -- and the whole world expecting you to do this and that. And if you don't fulfill their expectations... and you can't fulfill all of their expectations, because they are contradictory.

I was staying in a family and I asked the small boy, 'What are you going to become?'

He said, 'I don't know. I think I will go mad.'

'What do you mean?'

He said, 'My father wants me to become an engineer, my mother wants me to become a doctor. My uncle says, "Be a businessman, only then you can...."

'Another uncle, he says be a professor because that is the most simple profession.

And I don't know. But this much I know -- that if all expectations are fulfilled, I will go mad.'

That's how many people have gone mad. And when I am saying many people have gone mad, don't make an exception of yourself. You have gone mad fulfilling everybody's expectations. And you have not fulfilled anybody's; nobody is happy. This is the beauty. You are lost, completely destroyed, and nobody is happy. Because people who are not happy with themselves cannot be happy in any way. Whatsoever you do, they will find ways to be unhappy with you, because they cannot be happy. Happiness is an art that one has to learn. It has nothing to do with your doing or not doing.

Question 4

IF LOVE BECOMES DESTROYED IN MARRIAGE, HOW ARE WE TO LIVE IF

WE WISH TO SHARE LOVE AND THOUGHTS ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS, AND ALSO RAISE CHILDREN WITH BOTH A MOTHER AND A FATHER?

I have never said that love is destroyed by marriage. How can marriage destroy love? Yes, it is destroyed in marriage, but it is destroyed by you, not by marriage.

It is destroyed by the partners. How can marriage destroy love? It is you who destroy it, because you don't know what love is. You simply pretend to know, you simply hope that you know, you dream that you know, but you don't know what love is. Love has to be learned; it is the greatest art there is.

If people are dancing and somebody asks you, 'Come and dance,' you say, 'I don't know.' You don't just jump up and start dancing and have everybody think that you are a great dancer. You will just prove yourself to be a buffoon. You will not prove yourself to be a dancer. It has to be learned -- the grace of it, the movement of it. You have to train the body for it.

You don't just go and start painting just because the canvas is available and the brush is there and the colour is there. You don't start painting. You say, 'All requirements are here, so I can paint. You can paint -- but you will not be a painter that way.

You meet a woman -- the canvas is there. You immediately become a lover -- you start painting. And she starts painting on you. Of course you both prove to be foolish -- painted fools -- and sooner or later you understand what is happening.

But you never thought that love is an art. You are not born with the art, it is nothing to do with your birth. You have to learn it. It is the most subtle art.

You are born only with a capacity. Of course, you are born with a body; you can be a dancer because you have the body. You can move your body and you can be a dancer -- but dancing has to be learned. Much effort is needed to learn dancing.

And dancing is not so difficult because you alone are involved in it.

Love is much more difficult. It is dancing with somebody else. The other is also needed to know what dancing is. To fit with somebody, it is a great art. To create a harmony between two persons... two persons mean two different worlds.

When two worlds come close, clash is bound to be there if you don't know how to harmonise. Love is harmony. And happiness, health, harmony, all happen out of love. Learn to love. Don't be in a hurry for marriage, learn to love. First become a great lover.

And what is the requirement? The requirement is that a great lover is always ready to give love and is not bothered whether it is returned or not. It is always returned, it is in the very nature of things. It is just as if you go to the mountains and you sing a song, and the valleys respond. Have you seen an echo point in the mountains, in the hills? You shout and the valleys shout, or you sing and the valleys sing. Each heart is a valley. If you pour love into it, it will respond.

The first lesson of love is not to ask for love, but just to give. Become a giver. And people are doing just the opposite. Even when they give, they give only with the idea that love should come back. It is a bargain. They don't share, they don't share freely. They share with a condition. They go on watching out of the corner of their eye whether it is coming back or not. Very poor people... they don't know the natural functioning of love. You simply pour, it will come.

And if it is not coming, nothing to be worried about -- because a lover knows that to love is to be happy. If it comes, good; then the happiness is multiplied. But even if it never comes back, in the very act of loving you become so happy, so ecstatic, who bothers whether it comes or not?

Love has its own intrinsic happiness. It happens when you love. There is no need to wait for the result. Just start loving. By and by you will see much more love is coming back to you. One loves and comes to know what love is only by loving.

As one learns swimming by swimming, by loving one loves.

And people are very miserly. They are waiting for some great beloved to happen, then they will love. They remain closed, they remain withdrawn. They just wait.

From somewhere some Cleopatra will come and then they will open their heart, but by that time they have completely forgotten how to open it.

Don't miss any opportunity of love. Even passing in a street, you can be loving.

Even to the beggar you can be loving. There is no need that you have to give him something; you can smile at least. It costs nothing -- but your very smile opens your heart, makes your heart more alive. Hold somebody's hand -- a friend or a stranger. Don't wait that you will only love when the right person happens. Then the right person will never happen. Go on loving. The more you love, the more is the possibility for the right person to happen, because your heart starts flowering. And a flowering heart attracts many bees, many lovers.

You have been trained in a very wrong way. First, everybody lives under a wrong impression that everybody is already a lover. Just being born, you think you are a lover. It's not so easy. Yes, there is a potentiality, but the potentiality has to be trained, disciplined. A seed exists, but it has to come to flower.

You can go on carrying your seed; no bee will be coming. Have you ever seen bees coming to the seeds? Don't they know that seeds can become flowers? But they come when they become flowers. Become a flower, don't remain a seed.

Two people, separately unhappy, create more unhappiness for each other when they come together. That's mathematical. You were unhappy, your wife was unhappy and you both are hoping that being together you both will become happy? This is... this is such ordinary arithmetic -- like two plus two makes four.

It is that simple. It is not part of any higher mathematics; it is very ordinary, you can count it on your fingers. You both will become unhappy.

'You don't love me any more?' asked Mulla Nasrudin's wife. 'You never say anything nice to me any more like you used to when we were courting.' She wiped a tear from her eye with the corner of her apron.

'I love you, I love you,' retorted Mulla Nasrudin. 'Now will you please shut up and let me drink my beer in peace?'

Courting is one thing. Don't depend on courting. In fact before you get married, get rid of courting. My suggestion is that marriage should happen after the honeymoon, never before it. Only if everything goes right, only then marriage should happen.

Honeymoon after marriage is very dangerous. As far as I know, ninety-nine percent of marriages are finished by the time the honeymoon is finished. But then you are caught, then you have no way to escape. Then the whole society, the law, the court -- everybody is against you if you leave the wife, or the wife leaves you. Then the whole morality, the religion, the priest, everybody is against you. In fact society should create all barriers possible for marriage and no barrier for divorce. Society should not allow people to marry so easily. The court should create barriers -- live with the woman for two years at least, then the court can allow you to get married. Right now they are doing just the reverse. If you want to get married, nobody asks whether you are ready or whether it is just a whim, just because you like the nose of the woman. What foolishness! One cannot live by just a long nose. After two days the nose will be forgotten. Who looks at one's own wife's nose?

I have heard:

A certain ward was staffed completely by nurses who looked as though they were finalists in the Miss World Contest, but every time one of the patients saw them, he stared intently and said, 'Rubbish! '

The man in the next bed could not understand it at all. 'Gorgeous nurses like these to look after you and all you can say is "Rubbish". Why?'

'I was not thinking of the nurses,' said the other sadly, 'I was thinking of my wife.'

The wife never looks beautiful, the husband never looks beautiful. Once you are aquainted, beauty disappears.

Two persons should be allowed to live together long enough to become aquainted, familiar with each other. And even if they want to get married, they should not be allowed. Then divorces will disappear from the world. The divorces exist because marriages are wrong and forced. The divorces exist because marriages are done in a romantic mood.

A romantic mood is good if you are a poet -- and poets are not known to be good husbands or good wives. In fact poets are almost always bachelors. They fool around but they never get caught, and hence their romance remains alive. They go on writing poetry, beautiful poetry.

One should not get married to a woman or to a man in a poetic mood. Let the prose mood come, then settle. Because the day-to-day life is more like prose than like poetry. One should become mature enough.

Maturity means that one is no more a romantic fool. One understands life, one understands the responsibility of life, one understands the problems of being together with a person. One accepts all those difficulties and yet decides to live with the person. One is not hoping that there is only going to be heaven, all roses. One is not hoping nonsense; one knows reality is tough. It is rough. There are roses, but far and few in between; there are many thorns.

When you have become alert to all of these problems and still you decide that it is worthwhile to risk and be with a person rather than to be alone, then get married. Then marriages will never kill love, because this love is realistic.

Marriage can kill only romantic love. And romantic love is what people call

'puppy love'. One should not depend on it. One should not think about it as nourishment. It may be just like ice-cream. You can eat it sometimes, but don't depend on it. Life has to be more realistic, more prose.

And marriage itself never destroys anything. Marriage simply brings out whatsoever is hidden in you -- it brings it out. If love is hidden behind you, inside you, marriage brings it out. If love was just a pretension, just a bait, then sooner or later it has to disappear. And then your reality, your ugly personality comes up. Marriage simply is an opportunity, so whatsoever you had to bring out will come out.

I am not saying that love is destroyed by marriage. Love is destroyed by people who don't know how to love. Love is destroyed because in the first place love is not. You have been living in a dream. Reality destroys that dream. Otherwise love is something eternal, part of eternity. If you grow, if you know the art, and you accept the realities of love-life, then it goes on growing every day. Marriage becomes a tremendous opportunity to grow into love.

Nothing can destroy love. If it is there, it goes on growing. But my feeling is, it is not there in the first place. You misunderstood yourself; something else was there. Maybe sex was there, sex appeal was there. Then it is going to be destroyed, because once you have loved a woman, then the sex appeal disappears -- because the sex appeal is only with the unknown. Once you have tasted the body of the woman or the man, then the sex appeal disappears. If your love was only sex appeal then it is bound to disappear.

So never misunderstand love for something else. If love is really love.... What do I mean when I say 'really love'? I mean that just being in the presence of the other you feel suddenly happy, just being together you feel ecstatic, just the very presence of the other fulfills something deep in your heart... something starts singing in your heart, you fall into harmony. Just the very presence of the other helps you to be together; you become more individual, more centered, more grounded. Then it is love.

Love is not a passion, love is not an emotion. Love is a very deep understanding that somebody somehow completes you. Somebody makes you a full circle. The presence of the other enhances your presence. Love gives freedom to be yourself; it is not possessiveness.

So, watch. Never think of sex as love, otherwise you will be deceived. Be alert, and when you start feeling with someone that just the presence, the pure presence -- nothing else, nothing else is needed; you don't ask anything -- just the presence, just that the other is, is enough to make you happy... something starts flowering within you, a thousand and one lotuses bloom... then you are in love, and then you can pass through all the difficulties that reality creates. Many anguishes, many anxieties -- you will be able to pass all of them, and your love will be flowering more and more, because all those situations will become challenges. And your love, by overcoming them, will become more and more strong.

Love is eternity. If it is there, then it goes on growing and growing. Love knows the beginning but does not know the end.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #3

Chapter title: Only nothing is

23 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

THE BUDDHA SAID:

THE HOMELESS SHRAMANA CUTS OFF THE PASSIONS, FREES HIMSELF

OF ATTACHMENTS, UNDERSTANDS THE SOURCE OF HIS OWN MIND, PENETRATES THE DEEPEST DOCTRINE OF BUDDHA, AND

COMPREHENDS THE DHAMMA, WHICH IS IMMATERIAL.

HE HAS NO PREJUDICE IN HIS HEART. HE HAS NOTHING TO HANKER

AFTER. HE IS NOT HAMPERED BY THE THOUGHT OF THE WAY NOR IS

HE ENTANGLED IN KARMA. NO PREJUDICE, NO COMPULSION, NO

DISCIPLINE, NO ENLIGHTENMENT AND NO GOING UP THROUGH THE

GRADES AND YET IN POSSESSION OF ALL HONOURS IN ITSELF. THIS IS

CALLED THE WAY.

THE BUDDHA SAID.

THOSE WHO SHAVING THEIR HEADS AND FACES BECOME SHRAMANAS

AND WHO RECEIVE INSTRUCTION IN THE WAY SHOULD SURRENDER

ALL WORLDLY POSSESSIONS AND BE CONTENTED WITH WHATEVER

THEY OBTAIN BY BEGGING. ONE MEAL A DAY AND ONE LODGING

UNDER A TREE AND NEITHER SHOULD BE REPEATED, FOR WHAT

MAKES ONE STUPID AND IRRATIONAL IS ATTACHMENTS AND THE

PASSIONS.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

THERE ARE TEN THINGS CONSIDERED GOOD BY ALL BEINGS, AND TEN

THINGS EVIL. THREE OF THEM DEPEND UPON THE BODY, FOUR UPON

THE MOUTH, AND THREE UPON THOUGHT.

THREE EVIL DEEDS DEPENDING UPON THE BODY ARE: KILLING, STEALING, AND COMMITTING ADULTERY. THE FOUR DEPENDING

UPON THE MOUTH ARE: SLANDERING, CURSING, LYING AND

FLATTERY. THE THREE DEPENDING UPON THOUGHT ARE: ENVY, ANGER AND INFATUATION. ALL THESE THINGS ARE AGAINST THE

HOLY WAY, AND THEREFORE THEY ARE EVIL. WHEN THESE EVILS ARE

NOT DONE, THERE ARE TEN GOOD DEEDS.

THE FIRST THING: Buddha emphasizes very much the idea of a homeless wandereR -- the idea of homelessness. It need not be taken literally, but the idea is tremendously significant. If you build a house, if you build a home around you, you are doing something which is not possible in the nature of things.

Because this life is a flux, this life is not more than momentary. This life is not stable, not permanent -- here we are only for a few moments. Death is approaching continuously; we are dying every moment while we are living.

To make this place, this space, a home, is absurd. The home is not possible here.

The home is possible only in eternity. Time cannot be made a home, and if you try to make a home here then you will be constantly in misery, because you will be fighting against nature; you will be going against what Buddha calls dhamma.

Dhamma simply means tao, the way things are. If you want to make a dream permanent, you will suffer, because dream as such cannot be permanent. Its very nature is to be non-permanent. In fact, even to repeat the same dream again is difficult. The dream is illusory, you cannot live in it forever.

To think of a permanent life here on this shore, the shore of time, is stupid. If you are a little intelligent, if you are a little aware and if you can see all around you what is happening.... You were not here one day, and you will not be here one day again. How can you make a home here? You can stay here as if one stays overnight in a serai -- when the morning comes you have to go.

Yes, you can pitch tents here, but you cannot make a home. You can have shelter, but you should not become attached to it. You should not call it 'my', 'mine'. The moment you call anything 'mine', you are falling into stupidity. Nothing belongs to you, nothing can belong to you.

One is a homeless wanderer in the very nature of things. Time is impermanent.

Time means the temporary. Time cannot have any eternal home in it. To make a home in time is to make a house on the sands, or to make a signature in water --

you go on making it; it goes on disappearing.

Buddha says to understand this homelessness is to become a sannyasin. There is no necessity that you leave the home. You can leave if you feel good that way. If it fits with your nature you can leave the home, you can literally become a wanderer, but that is not a must. You can remain in the home, but it is no more a home for you. You know you don't possess it. You may be using it for a while, but tomorrow you have to go.

So don't make a home anywhere, not even in the body -- because that body is also continuously disappearing. If you don't make a home anywhere then you are a sannyasin in spirit -- and a sannyasin is never miserable. Because misery comes out of attachment. When your attachments are not fulfilled as you wanted them to be, when your expectations are not fulfilled, frustration arises.

Frustration is a by-product.

If you don't expect, nobody can frustrate you. If you don't want to make a home here, even death cannot frighten you. Nothing can frighten you. If you don't cling to anything, how can you be made miserable? Your clinging creates misery, because you want to cling and in the very nature of things, things are changing; you cannot cling. They are slipping constantly out of your hands. There is no way to cling to them.

You cling to the wife, you cling to the husband, to the children, to the parents, to the friends. You cling to persons, to things, and everything is in a constant flux.

You are trying to hold a river in your arms and the river is flowing fast; it is rushing towards some unknown goal -- you are frustrated.

The wife falls in love with somebody else -- you are frustrated. The husband escapes -- you are frustrated. The child dies -- you are frustrated. The bank fails, goes bankrupt -- you are frustrated. The body becomes ill, weak, death starts knocking at the door -- you are frustrated. But these frustrations are because of your expectations. You are responsible for them.

If you understand that this place is not a home and you are a homeless wanderer here, a stranger in an unknown land; you have to leave, you have to go... if you have penetrated that point, if you have understood it, then you don't make a home anywhere. You become a homeless wanderer, a parivrajaka. You may even literally become so; it depends on you. You may really become a wanderer, or spiritually you may become a wanderer.

My own emphasis is not to become literally a wanderer, because what is the point? Buddha's emphasis was not so; let it be clear to you. Buddha has not said what to do, whether to follow him literally or not. Millions followed him literally

-- they dropped out of their homes, out of their families; they really became bhikkhus wandering all over the country, begging. I don't insist on that.

If really you understand then there is no need to do it in such a factual way.

Because to me it appears that when a person does not understand the idea completely, only then he literally becomes a wanderer; otherwise there is no need. You can be in the home, you can be with your wife and your children, and yet remain alert that nothing belongs to you; remain alert that you don't fall into attachments; remain alert that if things change you are ready to accept the change, that you will not weep for the spilt milk, that you will not cry, that you will not go crazy and mad.

To me this seems to be more significant than really becoming a wanderer, because that is easier. And if there is no home and if you don't possess anything, then how can you renounce? The very idea of renouncing it makes it clear that somewhere deep in the unconscious you thought that you possessed it, because you can renounce only something which you possess.

How can you renounce? Your wife is not yours -- how can you renounce? Your children are not yours -- how can you renounce? They don't belong to you, so where is the point to renounce then? You can simply understand that they don't belong to you; that we are strangers -- we have met on the way, or we have stayed under the same tree for a few days, but we are strangers.

Understanding it deep in your awareness is enough. My emphasis is to become a spiritual wanderer. There is no need to drag the body like a beggar; just let your spirit be that of a wanderer, and that is enough. Don't create bondage for your spirit.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

THE HOMELESS SHRAMANA CUTS OFF THE PASSIONS...

Passions are our dreams. Passions are our dreams of the future, desires of the future, desires of how things should be. Deep down we are always discontent; whatsoever is, is not satisfying. We are continuously weaving dreams to change things -- to make a better house, to have a better wife, to have a better education, to have more money, to have this, to have that. We are continuously thinking in terms of how to make life better. We go on living in the future which is not.

Living in the future is a dream because it exists not. Living in the future is based on a deep discontent with the present.

So two things have to be understood about passions. One, whatsoever we have we cling to it. Look at the paradox: whatsoever we have we cling to it and still we are not satisfied with it. We are miserable with it, so we desire to modify it, to decorate it, to make it better. We continuously cling to that which we have and we continuously desire for that which we don't have. And between these two we are crushed. And this will be so always and always. It was so yesterday, it is so today, it is going to be so tomorrow... your whole life.

Whatsoever you will have you will cling to it so that nobody can take it away, and still you will be miserable with it and you will hope that someday things will be better. A man who lives in passion, in desire, lives a futile life -- always miserable, always dreaming. Miserable with reality and dreaming unreal things.

I have heard:

'How many fish have you caught?' a passerby asked old Mulla Nasrudin who was fishing off the end of the pier.

'Well,' said the old Mulla thoughtfully, 'if I catch this one that is nibbling at my bait and two more, I will have three.'

He has nothing....

This is how human mind goes on dreaming. Our life is short, very short, and our dreams are immense.

Seamus and Bridget met on Rockaway beach. As they stretched out together on a blanket under the boardwalk, Seamus whispered huskily, 'Bridget, I love you.'

'But,' protested Bridget, 'we have only just met!'

'I know,' replied Seamus, 'but I am only here for the weekend.'

But everybody is here only for the weekend. Life is really very short. How is love possible? How can you make a home here? How can you possess anything?

Everything is continuously disappearing. You are chasing shadows.

Buddha says:

THE HOMELESS SHRAMANA CUTS OFF THE PASSIONS, FREES HIMSELF

OF ATTACHMENTS...

By attachments he means relationships that really don't exist, only you believe that they exist. You are a husband -- you believe that a certain relationship exists between you and your wife, but it is just a belief. Have you not observed the fact that even living with a woman for forty, fifty years, she remains a stranger, and you remain a stranger to her?

Down the centuries, men have been trying to understand the woman, the mind, the feminine mind -- but man has not been able to understand it yet. The woman has been trying to understand the mind of man, yet it remains a mystery. And man and woman have lived together for centuries.

Observe it. How can you relate to anybody? The other remains out of your grasp.

The other remains other... unreachable. You may touch the periphery and the other may even pretend that yes, you have related, but we remain alone.

Relationship is just a make-believe. It helps, it helps in a way. It allows us to feel that we are not alone. It makes life a little more comfortable, but that comfort is illusory. The other remains the other, and there is no way to penetrate the mystery of the other. We ARE alone.

When Buddha says, THE HOMELESS SHRAMANA FREES HIMSELF OF ALL

ATTACHMENTS, he means he comes to see that attachment is not possible here.

Attachment is impossible, relationship is impossible. All relationship is just an absurd effort, because you cannot reach the other, you cannot touch the center of the other's being. And unless you have touched the center, how can you relate?

You don't know the other's soul, you only know the body, actions, attitudes --

they are just on the periphery. We meet on the periphery.

That is the misery of relationship. We remain on the periphery and we continuously believe our hope, our desire, that someday the relationship will really happen and center will meet to the center, the heart will meet to the heart...

that we will dissolve -- but it never happens. It cannot happen.

To become aware of this very disturbing reality is difficult because it takes the very ground from underneath your feet. You are left so lonely that you again start believing in old dreams, relationship, this and that. You again start creating bridges, but you never succeed, have never succeeded. Not that your effort is not enough, not that your skill is not enough, but because in the very nature of things, attachment is an impossibility. You are trying to do something which reality does not allow.

Your aloneness is eternal. Buddha says to understand this aloneness and to remain true to it is the meaning of dropping attachments. Not that you escape from the world, but simply all attachments drop, bridges drop. And this is the beauty -- that when all attachments drop, you become more understanding, and your life with others becomes more peaceful... because you don't hope, you don't hope for the impossible, you don't expect. Whatsoever happens you feel grateful and whatsoever does not happen you know it cannot happen. You become, in a deeper way, very accepting. You don't force reality according to your desires.

You start learning how to let go, how to be one and harmonious with the reality itself.

... UNDERSTANDS THE SOURCE OF HIS OWN MIND, PENETRATES THE

DEEPEST DOCTRINE OF BUDDHA...

What is THE DEEPEST DOCTRINE OF BUDDHA? Buddha's greatest message is the message of no-self, anatta -- that is his deepest doctrine. That you have to understand. First he says don't make a home here, then he says don't be attached, then he says look into yourself; you are not.

First he says the world is illusory, don't make a home here. Then he says attachments are just dreams, drop all attachments from your mind. And then he comes to his deepest doctrine. The doctrine is: now look inside, you are not.

You can exist only with the home, with the possessions, with the relationships.

The 'I' is nothing but a combination of all these dreams, a cumulative effect.

Dreams of possessing things, dreams of possessing people -- relationships, attachment, love, passion, dreams of future -- all these accumulate and become the ego. When you drop all these, suddenly you disappear, and in your disappearance the law starts functioning in its truest way. That is what the Buddha calls the dhamma, the tao, the ultimate law.

So there are three layers of the ego. First layer, the world -- your house, your car, your bank balance. Second, attachments -- your relationships, your affairs, your children, wife, husband, friends, enemies. And the deepest layer, you. And these all are joined together. If you really want to get rid of your ego, you will have to move in a very scientific way. That's what Buddha is doing.

First, no home; second, no relationships; third, no self. If you do the two first things, the preliminary things, the third happens automatically -- you look inside and you are not there. And when you see that you are not there -- there is no entity inside, no substantial entity, you cannot call yourself 'I' -- you are freed.

This is what liberation is in the buddhist way. This is what nirvana is.

The word nirvana means cessation of the self, arising of a no-self, emptiness... the zero experience. Nothing is, only nothing is.

Then how can you be disturbed? because now there is nobody to be disturbed.

Then how can you die? because now there is nobody to die. How can you be born? because now there is nobody to be born. This nobodyness is tremendously beautiful. It is opening and opening, space and space, with no boundaries.

This is Buddha's concept of reality. It is very difficult to understand. We can understand that ego can be dropped -- but the soul? Then we go on in a subtle way still remaining an egoist. Then we call it the soul, the atman. Buddha is very consistent. He says any idea of yourself, that you can be in some way, is egoistic.

Let me try to explain it to you through modern physics, because modern physics has also come to the same point. Ask the modern scientist. He says the maner only appears, it is not. If you go deeper in the maner, only emptiness. It is nothing but emptiness. If you analyse the maner, if you divide the atom, then it disappears. At the ultimate core only emptiness remains... only space, pure space.

The same analysis Buddha did with self. What scientists have been doing with matter, Buddha did with mind. And both agree that if analysis goes deep enough, then there is no substance left, all substance disappears. Non-existence is left.

Buddha could not survive in India. India is the oldest country in the world which has believed in the self, the atman. The Upanishads, the Vedas, from Patanjali to Mahavira, everybody has believed in the self. They were all against the ego, but they never dared to say that the self is also nothing but a trick of the ego. Buddha dared to assert the ultimate truth.

While he was alive, people could tolerate. His presence was such a powerful presence, his presence was so convincing that they could not deny, they could not say that what he is saying is against human mind, absolutely against human mind. They may have discussed here and there; sometimes a few people came to discuss with him also -- 'What are you saying? Then what is the point of being liberated if nobody remains? We hope for liberation so that we will be liberated.'

Buddha's emphasis is that you will never be liberated, because until and unless you die there is no liberation. Liberation is from the self, the self is not liberated.

Liberation is from the self itself.

But his presence was very convincing; whatsoever he was saying must be true.

His existence was a proof. The grace that has happened to him, the harmony that was surrounding him, the luminousness that was following him wherever he walked, moved... the glow. People were puzzled -- because this man was saying that there is no self, only tremendous emptiness inside. They could not deny.

But by the time Buddha had gone, they started criticizing, arguing; they started denying. Only five hundred years after Buddha left his body, Buddhism was uprooted from India. People could not believe in such a drastic attitude. Nothing is, the world is illusory, attachments are stupid, and in the final analysis you are not. Then what is the point?

If everything is a dream and even the self is a dream, then why should we go into it? Let it be a dream -- at least something is there. Why should we make so much effort, so many arduous efforts to achieve just to nothingness?

But you have to understand. What Buddha calls nothingness is nothingness from your side. He says nothing remains -- nothing of your world, nothing of your relationship, nothing of you, but he is not saying that nothing remains. He is saying nothing remains from your side, and that which remains cannot be expressed. That which is left, there is no way to express it to you, no way to communicate it. Because in whatsoever way it is communicated, it will be misunderstood.

If Buddha says, 'Yes, the atman, the self exists, but the self is a non-ego state,' you may nod your head that yes, we understand. But you don't understand, because the very idea of self carries something of the ego in it: 'I am'. Howsoever pure, but the 'I' remains. Your idea of atman, self, supreme self, Self with a capital S, is nothing but a transfigured ego.

It happened:

Mulla Nasrudin and the local priest were always fighting and arguing and eventually they finished up in the court. After listening to evidence from both sides, the magistrate said, 'I feel sure that this can be settled amicably. Shake hands with each other and say something for good will.'

The priest shook Nasrudin's hand and said, 'I wish for you what you wish for me.'

'See, Your Honour,' said the Mulla, 'he is starting it again.'

He has not said anything, he has simply said, 'I wish for you what you wish for me.' But Mulla knows well what he wishes for him. He says, 'See, Your Honour, he is starting it again.' Whatsoever is said to you will be coloured by you.

Buddha remained very pure; he wouldn't allow you to corrupt. He wouldn't give you even a hint. He simply denied totally, absolutely. He said whatsoever you know disappears -- your world, your love, your attachments, your things, your relationships, you. You are the center, your world is your periphery. They all disappear together. It is not possible that you can be saved when your world is lost. When the periphery, the circumference is lost, the center is also lost. They go together. When the elephant moves, the tail of the elephant also moves with it.

When your whole world drops, you also drop with it; you are part of it, an organic part of that dream.

But let me remind you -- don't misunderstand Buddha. He was very logical not to say anything about that which remains. He said, 'Come and experience it.' He said, 'Don't force me to relate it to you linguistically. Let it be existential experience.'

You disappear but in a way for the first time you appear. But this appearance is something so totally different from all your experiences that there is no way to relate it. Whatsoever will be said will be wrong, because you will interpret it in your own way.

THE HOMELESS SHRAMANA CUTS OFF THE PASSIONS, FREES HIMSELF

OF ATTACHMENTS, UNDERSTANDS THE SOURCE OF HIS OWN MIND, PENETRATES THE DEEPEST DOCTRINE OF BUDDHA, AND

COMPREHENDS THE DHAMMA WHICH IS IMMATERIAL.

This much Buddha allows -- that there is a dhamma, a natural law, which is immaterial. He will not say spiritual; he simply says WHICH IS IMMATERIAL.

What is this dhamma? What is this law?

It will be easy if you understand Lao Tzu's concept of tao, or if you understand the vedic concept of rita. There must be something like a law which holds everything together. The changing seasons, the moving stars... the whole universe goes on so smoothly; it must have a certain law.

The difference has to be understood. Jews, Christians, Mohammedans, Hindus, call that law 'god'; they personify it. Buddha is not ready to do it. He says to personify god is to destroy the whole beauty of it, because that is anthropomorphic, anthropocentric attitude. Man thinks as if god is just like man

-- magnified, quantitatively millions of times bigger, but still, like man.

Buddha says god is not a person. That's why he never uses the word 'god'. He says dhamma, the law. God is not a person but just a force, immaterial force. Its nature is more like law than like a person. That's why in Buddhism, prayer does not exist.

You cannot pray to a law; it will be pointless. You cannot pray to the law of gravitation, can you? It will be meaningless. The law cannot listen to your prayer. You can follow the law, and you can be in happy harmony with the law.

Or, you can disobey the law and you can suffer. But there is no point in praying to the law.

If you go against gravitation you may break a few of your bones, you may have a few fractures. If you follow the law of gravitation, you can avoid the fractures --

but what is the point of praying? Sitting before the icon and praying to the Lord -

- 'I am going for a journey, help me' -- it is absurd.

Buddha says the universe runs according to a law, not according to a person. His attitude is scientific. Because, he says, a person can be whimsical. You can pray to god and you can persuade him, but that is dangerous. Somebody who is not praying to god may not be able to persuade him and god may become prejudiced -- a person is always capable of prejudice.

And that's what all the religions say -- that if you pray, he will save you, if you pray you will not be miserable, if you don't pray you will be thrown into hell.

To think in these terms about god is very human, but very unscientific. That means god loves your flattery, your prayers. So if you are a praying person and you go regularly to the church, to the temple, and you read the Gita and the Bible, you recite Koran, then he will help you; otherwise he will be very annoyed by you. If you say, 'I don't believe in god,' he will be very angry at you.

Buddha says this is stupid. God is not a person. You cannot annoy him and you cannot buttress him, you cannot flatter him. You cannot persuade him to your own way. Whether you believe in him or not, that doesn't matter. A law exists beyond your belief. If you follow it, you are happy. If you don't follow it, you become unhappy.

Look at the austere beauty of the concept of law. Then the whole question is of a discipline, not of prayer. Understand the law and be in harmony with it, don't be in a conflict with it, that's all. No need for a temple, no need for a mosque, no need to pray. Just follow your understanding.

Buddha says that whenever you are miserable it is just an indication that you have gone against the law, you have disobeyed the law. Whenever you are in misery, just understand one thing; watch, observe, analyse your situation, diagnose it -- you must be going somewhere against the law, you must be in conflict with the law. Buddha says it is not that the law is punishing you; no, that is foolish -- how can a law punish you? You are punishing yourself by being against the law. If you go with the law, it is not that the law is awarding you --

how can the law award you? If you go with it, you are awarding yourself. The whole responsibility is yours -- obey or disobey.

If you obey, you live in heaven. If you disobey, you live in hell. Hell is a state of your own mind when you are antagonistic to the law, and heaven is also a state of your own mind when you are in harmony.

HE HAS NO PREJUDICE IN HIS HEART.

Buddha says one who understands the law HAS NO PREJUDICE IN HIS

HEART. HE HAS NOTHING TO HANKER AFTER. HE IS NOT HAMPERED

BY THE THOUGHT OF THE WAY, NOR IS HE ENTANGLED IN KARMA. NO

PREJUDICE, NO COMPULSION, NO DISCIPLINE, NO ENLIGHTENMENT, AND NO GOING UP THROUGH THE GRADES, AND YET IN POSSESSION

OF ALL HONOURS IN ITSELF -- THIS IS CALLED THE WAY.

This is a very revolutionary statement. You cannot come across such a statement in Krishna's assertions, or Jesus' assertions, or Mohammed's. This is tremendously revolutionary.

Buddha says a real man of understanding does not even hanker for enlightenment. Because even to desire enlightenment is to desire, and desire is misery. Whether you desire money or you desire satori, whether you desire some person or you desire enlightenment, whether you desire prestige, power, respectability, or you desire dhyana, samadhi, meditation, enlightenment, desire as such is the same; the nature of desire is the same. Desire means desire, and desire brings misery. What you desire is irrelevant -- you desire, that's enough to make you miserable.

Desire means you have moved away from reality, you have moved away from that which is.

Desire means you have fallen into the trap of a dream.

Desire means you are not herenow, you have gone somewhere in the future.

Non-desire is enlightenment, so how can you desire enlightenment? If you desire enlightenment your very desire prevents its happening. You cannot desire enlightenment. You can only understand the nature of desire, and in the light of understanding, desire disappears -- as you bring a lamp into a dark room, darkness disappears.

Desire is darkness. When you light a candle of understanding, desire disappears.

And when there is no desire, there is enlightenment. That's what enlightenment is.

Try to understand this; this is one of the things you will need very much. It is very easy to change the object of your desire from worldly things to otherworldly things.

I was in a certain town. I had gone for an evening walk. Just when I was approaching the garden a woman came to me and gave me a booklet. On the booklet there was a beautiful garden on the cover page and a beautiful bungalow by the side of a spring. Tall trees and far in the background snow peaks. I looked inside. Inside, I was surprised to see it was a propaganda pamphlet by some christian community. In the pamphlet it said, 'If you want to have a beautiful house in the garden of god, then follow Jesus. If in the other world you want such a beautiful house then follow Jesus.'

Now this type of attitude seems to be very worldly, but this has been so. Except Buddha's attitude, all other religions are in some way or other asking you not to drop desire, but asking you to change the object of desire. That is the difference.

They say, 'Don't desire worldly things, desire heavenly things. Don't desire money, desire god.'

Now you can see the difference, the revolutionary change. Buddha says simply don't desire. It is not a question of what you desire. If you desire you will remain in misery. Don't desire, that's all. Be desireless, that's all. And when you are desireless you are calm and quiet and collected. When you are desireless ego disappears, when you are desireless misery disappears, and when you are desireless you fall in tune with the law.

Your desire is always a conflict with the law. Your desire simply says that you are not satisfied with what is given to you. You ask for more or you ask for something else. A desireless person simply says, 'Whatsoever is, is. Whatsoever is happening is happening. I accept it and I go with it. I have no other mind. If this is what is happening, I will simply delight in it. I will enjoy it. I will be with it.'

This is what I call surrender. Surrendering means non-desiring.

HE IS NOT HAMPERED BY THE THOUGHT OF THE WAY.

If you are desiring god, paradise... in fact the very word 'paradise' means a walled garden... if you are desiring some beautiful palaces in the other world, then even the way, the path, the religion, the Bible, the Koran, the Gita, they will hamper you, they will burden you -- because a desiring mind is always disturbed, always wavering, always thinking whether it is going to happen or not, always doubting whether it has ever happened to anybody.

'Am I foolish in desiring it? Does it really exist? Does it exist, the other world? the god? the happiness? the paradise? or is it just a myth, a story for children, for people who need toys?' And then even the way becomes a tension, because he uses everything as a means to reach to some end.

Buddha says the man of understanding is not even hampered by the thought of the way, because he is not going anywhere, so there is no point of any way. He is simply here. When you are going somewhere you need a way. When you understand, you simply enjoy being here. This moment is enough. There is nowhere to go, so what is the point of a way, a path, means? There is no end, no goal, nowhere to go.

That's my emphasis also. There is nowhere to go. Just be here. Just be here as totally as possible. Don't allow your mind to go anywhere. And in that moment when you are not going anywhere, everything falls into silence. Experience it.

You can experience it right now, listening to me -- if you are not going anywhere.

You can listen to me in two ways. One way is of the mind, of the desire. You can listen to me in order to find out some clue so that you can become enlightened; to find out some clue so that you can enter into the palace of god; to find out some key. Then you will be uneasy, restless.

And you can listen to me without any idea of going anywhere. You can simply listen to me, you can just be here with me. In that silence when you are just here, delighting with me, listening to me as one listens to a waterfall, as one listens to birds chirping in the trees, as one listens to the wind blowing in the pines -- just listening for no reason -- then in that moment you are in tune with tao, you are in tune with dhamma, you are in tune with the universe.

The universe is going somewhere; you fall in tune with it, you move with the river. Then you don't push the river. Then you don't have any other goal than the goal of the whole.

... NOR IS HE ENTANGLED IN KARMA.

A man who understands has nothing to do, he has just to be. His being is all his action. His action is his delight, he enjoys it. You ask a painter. If the painter is a real painter, then he enjoys painting, not that there is some result to it. There may not be, there may be; that is irrelevant.

Somebody asked Van Gogh, 'What is your best painting?' He was painting something. He said, 'This one -- that which I am doing right now.' People were worried why Van Gogh was painting at all because his paintings were not selling. Not a single painting was sold while he was alive. And he was dying, starving himself, because he had only enough money to live. Each week his brother was giving him a certain amount of money, enough just to survive. So for three days he would eat, and for four days he would fast every week to save money for colours, brushes, canvases -- and they were not selling at all. People used to think that he was mad, but he was tremendously happy... starving and happy. What was his happiness? The very act of painting.

Remember, an action becomes a karma, a bondage, if you have some end, if you are going somewhere through it. If your action is just your delight -- like children playing, making sand castles, enjoying, no goal to their activity, just playing, intrinsic play in the very activity -- then there is no karma, then there is no bondage. Then each action brings more and more freedom.

... NO PREJUDICE, NO COMPULSION, NO DISCIPLINE.

A man of understanding need not discipline himself. His understanding is his discipline. You need discipline because your understanding is not enough.

People come to me... just the other night somebody was there. He wrote a letter to me that he knows what is right but he goes on doing what is wrong. He knows what is wrong, still he goes on doing it. 'So how to change it,Osho?' he writes.

Now if you really know what is right, how can you do wrong? Somewhere your knowledge must be borrowed, it cannot be yours. If you really know what is wrong, how can you do it? It is impossible. If you do, that simply shows you don't know.

Socrates used to say, 'Knowledge is virtue.' If you know something, it starts happening. But the knowledge must be real, and by real I mean it must be yours, it must have come through your own life, it must be an essence of your own experience. It should not be borrowed, it should not be academic, it should not be scriptural, it should not be just information. It should be your own experience, authentically lived. Then you cannot go against it, there is no way.

How can you pass through a wall knowing that it is a wall? You go through the door. You never come to me and say, 'I know, Osho, where the door is, but still I first try to go through the wall. It always hits my head. What to do now?' If you know where the door is you pass through it. If you say you know and still you try to go through the wall, that simply shows you don't know. You may have heard, somebody else may have told you, but you don't trust. Your action shows what you know. Your action is the only proof of your knowledge, nothing else.

Buddha says no discipline is needed if understanding is there. Understanding brings its own discipline -- intrinsic, inner.

There are two sorts of discipline, as there are two sorts of knowledge. If knowledge comes from without, then you have to enforce discipline on yourself.

If knowledge springs, wells up from within, then there is no need to enforce any discipline. Discipline comes as a shadow to it; it follows.

... NO DISCIPLINE, NO ENLIGHTENMENT, AND NO GOING UP THROUGH

THE GRADES.

And Buddha says there are no grades. People are there who come and say to me,

'I am advanced but still not yet attained.' They want from me a certificate also, so that I can give them an indication of how far they are advanced, on what grade they are.

Buddha says in fact there are no gradations. There are only two types of people --

enlightened and unenlightened. There is no in between. It is not that a few people are there who are just in the middle. Either you are alive or you are dead, there is no in between. Either you know or you don't; there is no in between.

Grades don't exist.

All grades are tricks of the ego. The ego says, 'Yes, I am not yet enlightened, but I am far advanced. Just ninety-nine degrees. One degree more and I will be enlightened. I am not far behind -- far advanced.' Drop all that nonsense. If you are not enlightened you are simply not enlightened.

All unenlightened people are the same and all enlightened people are also the same. The difference is just as if you are sleeping and somebody is sitting by your side fully alert and aware. This is the only difference. If you are awake, you are awake. You cannot say, 'I am just in between.' There is no state like that. If you are asleep, you are asleep; if you are awake, you are awake.

And the difference is small and yet tremendous. A man fully alert sitting awake and a man snoring by the side -- both are the same human beings, same consciousnesses, but one is in deep darkness, lost, oblivious of itself; another luminous, alive, attained to its own inner flame.

If something happens then they both will react in different ways. The alert person is bound to react in a different way. His reaction will be a response; he will respond, knowing well what he is doing. If the sleepy person reacts, his reaction will be a mechanical reaction, not knowing what he is doing.

Buddha says:

... NO DISCIPLINE, NO ENLIGHTENMENT, NO GOING UP THROUGH THE

GRADES, AND YET IN POSSESSION OF ALL HONOURS IN ITSELF -- THIS IS

CALLED THE WAY.

Buddha says if you surrender the ego, if you surrender yourself, you come in a harmony with the law and everything starts happening on its own. You have but to surrender. If you are ready to disappear, you will be full of the law and the law will take care.

Have you watched it? If you trust the river you can float. The moment you lose the trust you start drowning. If you trust, the river takes you in her hands. If you become afraid you start drowning. That's why dead bodies start floating on the surface of the river, because dead bodies cannot doubt. Dead bodies cannot be afraid.

Alive, the same persons went down into the river and drowned. When dead, they surface, they start floating on the surface. Now it is very difficult for the river to drown them -- no river has been able to up to now. No river can drown a dead body. Alive, what happens? What happens? The dead man must be knowing some secret. The secret is, he cannot doubt.

You must have heard the beautiful parable in Jesus' life -- that his disciples are crossing the lake of Galilee and he is left behind and he says, 'I will be coming soon. I have to say my prayers.' And then the disciples are very much puzzled --

he is coming walking on the lake. They are afraid, frightened, scared. They think it must be some evil force. How can he walk?

And then one disciple says, 'Master, is it really you?' Jesus says, 'Yes.' Then the disciple says, 'Then if you can walk, why can't I, your disciple?' Jesus says, 'You can also walk -- come!' And the disciple comes and he walks a few steps, and he's surprised that he is walking -- but then doubt arises. He says, 'What is happening? This is unbelievable.'

The moment he thinks, 'This is unbelievable. Am I in a dream, or some trick of the devil, or what is happening?' he starts drowning. And Jesus says, 'You, you of little faith! Why did you doubt? And you have walked a few steps and you know that it has happened; then too you doubt it?'

Whether this story happened in this way or not is not the point. But I also know; you can try. If you trust the river, just relax in the river and you will float. Then the doubt will arise, the same doubt that came to Jesus' disciple: 'What is happening? How is it possible? I'm not drowning' -- and immediately you will start drowning.

The difference between a swimmer and a non-swimmer is not much. The swimmer has learned how to trust; the non-swimmer has not yet learned how to trust. Both are the same. When the non-swimmer falls into the river, doubt arises.

He starts feeling afraid -- the river is going to drown him. And of course then the river drowns him. But he is drowning himself in his own doubt. The river is not doing anything. The swimmer knows the river, the ways of the river, and he has been with the river many times and he trusts; he simply floats, he is not afraid.

Life is exactly the same.

Buddha says:

AND YET IN POSSESSION OF ALL HONOURS IN ITSELF -- THIS IS CALLED

THE WAY.

The man of understanding is in a total let-go. He allows the law to function. If you want old religious language, non-buddhist language, you can call it surrender to god. Then the devotee says, 'Now I am no more, only you are. I am just a flute on your lips, a hollow bamboo. You sing; the song will be yours, I will be just a passage.' This is old religious language.

Buddha is not happy with the old language. Buddha is not happy with the poets'

language. Buddha likes the scientific language more. He talks the same way as Albert Einstein, or Newton, or Edison. He talks about the law. Now it is for you to decide. The difference is only of language, but the basic thing is letting go, a total surrender.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

THOSE WHO SHAVING THEIR HEADS AND FACES BECOME SHRAMANAS

AND WHO RECEIVE INSTRUCTIONS IN THE WAY, SHOULD SURRENDER

ALL WORLDLY POSSESSIONS AND BE CONTENTED WITH WHATEVER

THEY OBTAIN BY BEGGING.

ONE MEAL A DAY, AND ONE LODGING UNDER A TREE, AND NEITHER

SHOULD BE REPEATED, FOR WHAT MAKES ONE STUPID AND

IRRATIONAL IS ATTACHMENTS AND THE PASSIONS.

THOSE WHO SHAVING THEIR HEADS AND FACES BECOME

SHRAMANAS...

Just as I insist for ochre robes, a mala around your neck, Buddha insisted for his sannyasins to shave their heads, their faces. These are just gestures, don't take them literally. They are just gestures, indications that you are ready to surrender.

They don't have any other meaning. The only meaning is that you are ready to go with Buddha.

When you take sannyas, when you are initiated in sannyas, you are simply saying yes to me. You are saying, 'Yes, Osho, I am coming with you. Even if you say to do something mad, I'm ready to do it.'

Now this is something mad -- wearing orange. What is the point of it? But this is just a gesture that you are ready even to become a laughing stock; even if people think it is ridiculous, you are ready to go. You are ready to be ridiculous, but you are prepared to go with me, whatsoever the cost. It is just a surrendering gesture.

Buddha used to say that a shramana should live in insecurity. That's why he said become beggars. Again, don't take it literally. Try to understand the spirit of it.

He says you cannot possess anything, it is impossible to possess anything. Life is insecurity and there is no way to become secure. Death is coming and will destroy all your securities. So don't be bothered. Even if you are a beggar, be happy, be a beggar happily. There is no point in worrying too much about your security. Understand the insecurity of life, accept it -- in that very acceptance you become secure.

And Buddha used to say:... ONE MEAL A DAY AND ONE LODGING UNDER

A TREE AND NEITHER SHOULD BE REPEATED.

Because Buddha says that if you repeat a certain thing again and again, it becomes a habit, a mechanical habit. And when you become mechanical you lose awareness. So don't repeat. Go on changing the situation, so in every situation you have to be alert. Go on changing the town. Don't beg from the same door again and don't sleep under the same tree again. These are just devices so that you have to remain alert.

Have you watched it? If you move into a new house, for a few days you feel very uneasy. By and by you become accustomed to the new house and then you become at home. It takes a little time: between three days and three weeks, a person becomes at home in the new house. Then the house has become a habit.

Buddha says before that happens, move. Not even under the same tree sleep twice, otherwise there is a tendency in the mind to claim.

Beggars also claim. A beggar sits under a tree and begs. Then he will not allow any other beggars to sit there. He will say, 'Go somewhere else. This is my tree!'

Beggars have their dominions. A beggar comes to beg in this neighbourhood; he will not allow other beggars to come here, he will fight -- this territory is his. You may not know, but you belong to his territory. He will not allow other beggars to enter here.

Buddha says don't allow the mind to become lazy, don't allow the mind to become mechanical. Remain alert, moving. Don't become stagnant, go on moving. Because one becomes stupid and irrational if attachment and passions are allowed. If you become attached you become stupid, you lose intelligence.

The more secure you are, the more stupid you become. That's why it rarely happens that intelligent people come from rich families... very rarely. Because they are so secure, they have no challenges in life, they have all that they need --

why bother? You cannot find rich people very sharp. They are almost always a little dull -- a sort of stupor, dragging. Comfortably dragging, conveniently dragging, dragging in Rolls Royces -- but dragging, dull. Life seems to have no challenge because there is no insecurity.

Buddha used it as a device: become insecure so you become sharp. A beggar has to be very sharp and intelligent -- he has nothing. He has to live moment to moment. That's why Buddha insisted for his sannyasins to become beggars. He called them bhikkhus. Bhikkhu means a beggar. It was just a reversal. In India sannyasins have always been known as swamis -- swami means a master.

Exactly, the word 'swami' means 'lord'. Buddha changed the whole thing. He called his sannyasins bhikkhus, beggars. But he brought a new dimension, a new meaning, a new challenge.

He said live moment to moment. Having nothing, you will never be secure -- and you will never be stupid. Have you watched? When you have money, you become lethargic. When you don't have money you become alert. If suddenly all is lost you will become very alert. If you have to keep yourself alive by begging, you cannot be certain about the tomorrow. Nobody knows what is going to happen,.whether you will be able to get something or not, whether you will be able to find somebody to give you something or not; you don't know. Tomorrow is not settled... uncertain. In uncertainty, in insecurity, your intelligence becomes more and more sharp. You become more brilliant.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

THERE ARE TEN THINGS CONSIDERED GOOD BY ALL BEINGS, AND TEN

THINGS EVIL.

What are they?

THREE OF THEM DEPEND UPON THE BODY, FOUR UPON THE MOUTH, AND THREE UPON THOUGHT.

THREE EVIL DEEDS DEPENDING UPON THE BODY ARE: KILLING, STEALING, AND COMMITTING ADULTERY. THE FOUR DEPENDING

UPON THE MOUTH ARE: SLANDERING, CURSING, LYING AND

FLATTERY. THE THREE DEPENDING UPON THOUGHT ARE: ENVY, ANGER AND INFATUATION. ALL THESE THINGS ARE AGAINST THE

HOLY WAY, AND THEREFORE THEY ARE EVIL.

Look at the difference. Buddha says they are against the holy way. If you do these ten things you will be miserable, you will be continuously in pain, anxiety, anguish. It is difficult for a man to be violent and not be miserable. If you kill somebody you will remain in misery. Before you kill you will be in misery, when you kill you will be in misery, and after you have killed you will be in misery.

Destructiveness cannot bring happiness; destruction is against the law of creation.

The law of creation is to be creative. So Buddha says if you are destructive you will be miserable. If you are envious, infatuated, competitive, ambitious, jealous, possessive, you will be in misery. The only criterion to know what is wrong is: whatsoever makes you miserable.

Now this is a very different attitude. Not that god says, 'Don't do this'; not that there are ten commandments.... Buddha also says there are ten things to be avoided, but not that there is a despot, somebody dictating, somebody like Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin sitting there on a golden throne in the heaven and dictating, 'Do this and don't do that.' There is nobody. It is for you to decide.

Buddha gives you just a criterion: whatsoever brings misery is wrong. He does not say it is a sin. Look for the emphasis. He says it is simply wrong -- just as two plus two are not five. If you make two plus two five, nobody will say that you have committed a sin. It is simply wrong, a mistake.

In buddhist terminology there is nothing like sin; only mistakes, errors. There is no condemnation. You can correct the error, you can correct the mistake. It is simple. You can put two plus two as four, the moment you understand.

ALL THESE THINGS ARE AGAINST THE HOLY WAY AND THEREFORE

THEY ARE EVIL.

There is no other reason for them to be evil: simply because they create misery for you. In fact, you create it by following them. If you don't want to be miserable, then avoid these things.

WHEN THESE EVILS ARE NOT DONE, THERE ARE TEN GOOD DEEDS.

And this is very significant. Listen to this sentence again: WHEN THESE EVILS ARE NOT DONE, THERE ARE TEN GOOD DEEDS.

Buddha does not talk about the good deeds. He says if you don't do these ten, you will be in harmony with the whole, with the law, and whatsoever will be happening will be good.

Good is not that which one needs to do. Good is when you are not a doer; when you are in a let-go with the whole, moving with the law, with the river, good happens. Good is not an act. Now there is no sin, only errors. And there is no virtue, no punya, only good deeds happening when you have surrendered yourself.

So Buddha says avoid the bad deeds, the evil things. He is not saying practise the good ones, he is simply saying avoid the wrong and you will come in tune with the whole, you will become harmonious with the law, and then whatsoever happens is good.

Good is like health. Don't be ill, then you are healthy. Just avoid illness, that's all, and you will be healthy. If you go to the doctor and you ask him what the definition of health is, he will not be able to define it. He will say, 'I don't know. I can simply diagnose your illness. I can prescribe a medicine for the illness. When the illness has disappeared you will be healthy and then you can know what health is.'

The same is the Buddha's attitude. Buddha used to call himself a physician, a vaidya, a doctor. He used to say of himself, 'I am just a doctor, a physician. You come to me, I diagnose your disease, I prescribe medicine. When diseases have disappeared, whatsoever is left, that presence is health.'

WHEN THESE EVILS ARE NOT DONE, THERE ARE TEN GOOD DEEDS.

So he is not giving you a positive discipline to be followed, just a negative understanding. Just try to understand, so that the error is not committed, so that you become harmonious with the whole.

Harmony is happiness, and harmony is heaven. And harmony happens only when you are in tune with the whole. To be with the whole is to be holy.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #4

Chapter title: Two empty skies meeting

24 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

Question 1

JESUS AND BUDDHA WERE CERTAINLY INDIVIDUALS. CANNOT THEIR

INDIVIDUALITY AND ITS EXPRESSION BE CALLED PERSONALITY? YOU

TOO, IT COULD BE SAID, HAVE A PERSONALITY, YET NOT AN EGO.

PLEASE CLARIFY THE CONCEPTS OF PERSONALITY, EGO,

INDIVIDUALITY, AND SELF.

THE FIRST THING to be understood is about the words 'individuality' and

'personality'. 'Individuality' means one who is indivisible, one who has become a unity, one who is no more divided. It is a beautiful word. In this sense, Buddha, Jesus, Zarathustra, can be called individuals -- in this root meaning of the word, not the way you use it.

Your use of 'individuality' is almost a synonym for 'personality'. 'Personality' has different orientations. It comes from greek drama. In greek drama the actors used to have 'personas', masks. They would be hiding behind the mask. You could not have seen their faces, you could have only heard their voice. 'Sona' means sound.

'Persona' means you can have a contact only with their sounds, not with their faces. They are hiding somewhere. From that comes the word 'personality'.

In that sense Buddha, Jesus, Zarathustra, Lao Tzu, have no personalities. They are just there in front of you, not hiding anything. They are naked, confronting you in their absolute purity. There is nothing to hide. You can see them through and through, they are transparent beings.

So you cannot say rightly that they have personalities or that they are persons.

They are individuals, but remember the meaning of the word -- they cannot be divided. They don't have fragments. They are not a crowd. They are not polypsychic. They don't have many minds. Their manyness has disappeared and they have become one, and their oneness is such that there is no way to divide it.

No sword can cut them in two. Their indivisibility is ultimate.

In that sense you can call them individuals. But it is dangerous. Because this oneness comes only when the many is lost. When the many is lost how can you say even that one is one? Because one can be called meaningfully one only when the possibility for many exists. But the very possibility has disappeared.

Buddha is not many, but how can you call him one? That's why in India we call god advaita, non-dual. We could have called him one, but we have resisted that temptation. We have never called him one, because the moment that you call something one, the two has entered -- because one cannot exist without the two, the three, the four. One is meaningful only in a series. One is meaningful only in a hierarchy.

If really one has become one, how can you call him one? The word loses meaning. You can call him only not-many; you can call him non-dual, advaita, not two. But you cannot call him one. Not-two is beautiful. It simply says that the twoness, the manyness, has disappeared. It does not say what has appeared, it simply says what has disappeared. It is a negative term.

Anything that can be said about the ultimate truth has to be negative. We can say what god is not, we cannot say what he is. Because to say what he is, we define him. Every definition is a limitation. Once god is defined he is no more infinite, he becomes finite.

So in a way you can call Buddha an individual, but it will be better to resist the temptation. He is certainly not a person, he has no personality, but to call him individual is also not right -- better than calling him a person, but still not perfect. He is not a person, he is not an individual -- because he is not.

The very idea of his being has disappeared. He is just a vast emptiness. He is space. He has no boundaries now.

Remember, if you have boundaries you can be divided. Anything that is finite can be divided. Ask the physicists. They say you can divide the molecule -- it is very small, but you can divide it because it has a boundary. You can divide the atom. It is very minute, but still it has a boundary; you can divide it. You can divide the electron, the neutron, the proton, because they also have boundaries.

But beyond that, division is impossible because boundaries disappear; beyond that, matter loses all limitation; beyond that is the infinite pure space. You cannot divide. It is impossible to divide pure space.

So somebody becomes an individual only when he has become infinite. It will look paradoxical, but let me say it: somebody becomes individual only when he has become universal, when he is one with the whole. Then somebody is an individual. But then to call him an individual will be stretching the meaning of the word too far. It will be a little too outlandish. It is better to call Buddha a nobody -- neither a person nor an individual. All those things have been left far behind. He has transcended all limitations.

The question is from Prem Divya. She asks, PLEASE CLARIFY THE CONCEPTS

OF PERSONALITY, EGO, INDIVIDUALITY AND SELF.

Personality and ego are two aspects of the same coin, just as individuality and self are two aspects of the same coin. The personality has a center -- that center is called the ego. Because personality itself is false, the center is also false, because a false circumference cannot have a real center and a real center cannot have a false circumference.

Personality is unreal. Personality is that which you pretend to be, but you are not. Personality is that which you show, but you are not. Personality is your exhibition, not your reality. Personality is that which you create around yourself

-- a fiction to deceive -- but you are not. This personality has a false center, as false as it is itself. That false center is the ego. When you drop personality, ego disappears. Or you drop the ego and the personality collapses to the ground, to the dust.

Remember not to pretend that which you are not, otherwise you will never be able to drop the ego. Then you go on feeding the ego. Never try to look in any way different than you are. Whatsoever the cost, be true to yourself. Don't try to decorate it, to clothe it in manners, etiquettes, a thousand and one falsities. Be naked as you are. Let people feel your real pulse, and you will not be at loss.

In the beginning you may see that you are getting into trouble, but soon you will find that you are never at a loss. With reality nobody ever loses. With unreality you only think you are gaining, you go on losing. That's how many people destroy their whole life -- by being unreal -- and then they say that they are not happy. How can an unreal person be happy?

It is as if you have put stones in the soil instead of seeds and you are waiting, you are waiting for them to sprout and bloom and fill your life with flowers and fruits. It is impossible -- those stones cannot grow. Those stones are not seeds of something, they don't have any potentiality. They may look like seeds, you may have coloured them in such a way, you may have painted them in such a way that they look like seeds, but they are not seeds, they cannot grow.

The ego cannot grow. It is dead, a false entity. It is not alive. You can go on and on living with it, but your whole life will become like a desert... empty. No fulfillment, no contentment, no bliss will ever knock at your door.

You can wait for eternity, nobody will ever come. Because in the very beginning you missed something -- something very essential and basic. Only you can grow, not the pretensions.

I told you the word 'personality' comes from 'persona'. If you have a mask, the mask will not grow. You will grow. You may have put the mask on your face when you were a child, now you may be a young man -- but the mask will remain the same... a dirty old thing, rotten. It will simply rot, it cannot grow. You will be growing behind it, and it will give you many pains because it will be a confinement. It cannot grow and you are growing. It is as if you are still wearing your childhood clothes. You are growing and those clothes are not growing, so they have become a bondage. They don't give you freedom, they confine you, they crush you. You feel continuously a pressure, a tension, an anguish.

You can try it. You can wear shoes which are smaller than for your feet, and walk

-- and you will know what is happening to millions of people. Their personalities are too small and their being is growing. Try to walk with shoes two sizes too small....

One day I was sitting with Mulla Nasrudin. He looked at a woman and said,

'This woman is trying to do the impossible.'

I said, 'What do you mean?'

He said, 'She's wearing shoes two inches too small.'

I asked, 'How do you know?'

He said, 'I know because she is my wife. Look at her face -- in such agony, in such anguish.'

Look at the faces of people -- their agony and anguish is written so clear. They are broadcasting nothing else but their agony and their anguish. And the problem is they are wearing a dead mask, a personality, which cannot grow with them. Of course it is always lagging behind. It cannot grow. They are growing continuously and it becomes a dead weight.

Remember, with the false you will be crushed. Never keep company with the false. If you really want to grow into a blooming being, if you really want to give freedom to your being, never keep company with the false. Be true, whatsoever the cost. I repeat again: in the beginning it may seem that these pretensions are very good. They are not. Your mind is deceiving you.

And if you try to keep company with the true, ego will disappear on its own accord. Otherwise it goes on finding new ways, new methods to feed itself.

People have become so false that you cannot imagine. I was reading an anecdote: Sadie Perlmutter was sent to the finest, most expensive finishing school in New York. There she learned all there was to know about etiquette. Despite the expense, her mother was very proud of her. Then one dark night Sadie staggered into their Park Avenue apartment with her clothes all ripped. 'I have been raped on Central Park South,' Sadie sobbed.

'You know who did it?'

'No, I don't.'

'You mean, after all the etiquette you studied you did not even ask, "With whom am I having the pleasure?"'

People go on keeping their etiquette, their mannerisms, their falsities, their pretensions, even in such situations where it is unimaginable.

I know one man whose house was on fire, but the first thing that he did running out of the house was to tie his tie. The house is on fire and he could not run out of it without his tie. The personality becomes so clinging to you and you become so clinging to it.

I have heard about a great professor who was so polite that even when he was angry he would be polite -- even in the expression of his anger. One day he was so angry with a student that he was boiling hot, and he said, 'Please go to hell!'...

Please go to hell?

Just watch yourself. Personality is the father of the ego. If you drop personality you will find the ego has died on its own accord.

I have heard:

An elderly woman visited an art gallery showing abstract paintings and asked the attendant, 'What is that?'

'That is the painter, lady.'

'And that?'

'The painter's wife, lady.' The attendant was a little annoyed.

'Well,' the woman commented, 'I hope they are not planning to have any children.'

The ego is the child of the personality. Many people would like to drop the ego, but they don't understand the inner connection. They would like to drop the ego because it gives so much misery. It continuously hurts, it is like a wound. It never allows you any rest, it always keeps you restless. It is a disease. Many people by and by start feeling that it is better if they can get rid of the ego, but they never think that this is the child of the personality. If you want to get rid of the ego, you will have to drop your personality.

That's why Buddha left the palace -- because it was impossible to drop the personality and still be a prince. Mahavira became naked, he dropped even his clothes -- he was one of the most courageous men the world has ever known --

because he came to realize that even clothes are not for the body; they are just part of a social mannerism, just part of a social etiquette. Of course he suffered for it. He was chased out of towns -- people used to throw stones at him. They thought he had gone crazy. He suffered for it, but his achievement was tremendous out of it.

By and by his personality completely eroded, disappeared. When the personality disappeared, when all that he had learned from the society was dropped -- all pretensions, all exhibitionistic tricks, all ego-trips -- suddenly he saw that ego has also disappeared.

He left his palace, his father's palace, he dropped his clothes, and he dropped language also: for twelve years he didn't speak a single word. His logic was absolutely correct, because in our very language our personalities have entered.

The way you speak, the way you use words, may be part of your personality.

You can see it. If a man comes from a village you can see by his language that he is a villager. If a man comes from a very rich, cultured family, you can see by his language that he comes from a cultured family -- and of course Mahavira was a prince. In the very language personality enters -- in your expressions, in your gestures.

Mahavira for twelve years completely dropped everything. He was the perfect dropout. Language, clothes, society, security, everything he dropped. Then by and by his innocence surfaced; all the layers of personality dropped, ego disappeared.

Remember, ego is very tricky. It is very subtle, its ways are very subtle. You drop it from one side, it comes from another. Unless you become very very alert how it arises, how it feeds....

Divya is a primal therapist, she will enjoy this anecdote.

Three primal therapists were standing on a street corner arguing about which one of them had the greatest memory, who could go farthest back.

'Hey man,' bragged the first, 'I can remember my mama wheeling me in my carriage down 125th Street, hear?'

'That's nothing,' scoffed the second guy. 'I can recall the day I was born and the doctor slapping my bottom.'

'You call that remembering, dude?' challenged the third. 'I can remember the night I went to a party with my daddy and I came home with my mama.'

The ego can find food from anywhere. Whatsoever the game, I am the top.

Whatsoever the game -- the name of the game may be humbleness, but I am the topmost humble man. The names can be different. Always remember that whenever you start feeling that you are the topmost -- maybe it is humbleness, it makes no difference; maybe it is egolessness, it makes no difference -- if you think that you are the most egoless person in the world you are again in the same trap.

The ego lives on claims. The ego is competitive and personality goes on feeding it through subtle ways. Personality is the circumference of your pretensions, of your exhibitions, of your deceptions, and ego is the center. They go together, they remain together.

Now the second couple: individuality and self. Individuality is the circumference, self is the center. They are more real than personality and ego, they are more real than the first couple, but still not ultimately real.

When personality is dropped, you become individual. When you become individual then a sense of self arises -- 'I am.' It has no claim, it is not competitive.

Self is not competitive: it does not say that I am better or worse, that I am ahead or far behind. It does not compare, it is not comparative. It simply says 'I am'. It is not relative to others. Individuality is a simple expression of whosoever you are, and a deep sense of 'I am'.

But Buddha or Jesus cannot be even called individuals because they go a little further, where even the sense of self disappears.

The ego is comparative, very ill; the self is a little healthy, not so ill -- it has no comparison with anybody -- but still the very idea that 'I am' divides, separates from the total unity. The way of Jesus is: 'My father and I are one.' That is his way of saying, 'I am not a self, my father is myself.' You can translate it better if you say that the center of the whole is my center; then the language becomes more scientific.

Buddha is even more keen. He will not use any wishy-washy expressions. He says simply, 'I am not.' Because the danger is -- saying that I am god, or god is my center -- the danger is that the 'I' may enter again from the backdoor. Buddha says, 'I am not.' He simply goes on dissecting the very phenomenon of 'I', and comes to a point where nothing is left. Just as matter disappears in the hands of the physicist, self disappears in the hands of Buddha.

I have heard:

One day an elephant went walking through the jungle. He was feeling in the pink, ready to challenge the whole world. As he walked along he met a lion. He threw out his chest, issued a loud trumpeting noise and said, 'Why are you not as big as I am?'

'I don't know,' the lion gasped, walking away.

Next the elephant met a hyena. He swelled out his chest and asked, 'Why are you not as big as I am?'

'I don't know,' said the hyena as he walked away as well.

Then the elephant met a poor little mouse with a runny nose and pink eyes.

'Why are you not as big as I am?' he roared.

The mouse looked up at him and said, 'I have been very sick lately.'

Everybody, even a mouse, has his own ego. Everybody, even a religious man, has his own ego. Even while declaring, 'I am just dust underneath your feet,' you are gathering ego.

The ego and the personality have to be dropped, then you will find individuality arising... a feeling of uniqueness. Yes, you are unique. Everybody else is also unique. In this world only unique people exist, so comparison is just stupid, because you alone are like yourself. There is nobody like you, so how to compare?

Comparison is possible if there are many people alike, similar to each other, but this existence is so tremendously creative, so originally creative, it never repeats.

It does not believe in carbon copies. It makes everybody an individual, unique.

When personality is dropped you suddenly feel you are unique -- but remember, you also feel everybody else is also unique. Uniqueness is a common quality of all, there is nothing to brag about. It is the universal quality of every being.

With the individuality you have a subtle center of a feeling -- 'I am'. Buddha goes far beyond it. Mahavira, Krishna, Jesus, they don't say anything beyond this.

Maybe they think it is not possible to say the beyond -- they stick to individuality and the feeling of 'I-amness'. But Buddha goes to the very end of his logic. He says personality has been dropped, now drop this individuality also. The ego has been dropped, now drop this 'I-amness' also, this self-hood also.

Then nothing is left, then only nothing is left, and in that emptiness you become virgin, uncorrupted. Emptiness cannot be corrupted. Being is, but there is no feeling of 'I am'.

Have you not ever come to some moments when you are, tremendously you are, but still there is no feeling of 'I am'? Those are the moments of grandeur, grace.

They happen to everybody. You may not have noticed, you may not have accepted them, you may not remember them, you may have rejected them because they seem so outlandish. They don't fit with your life -- with your life of the ego and personality. They don't fit. They are not consistent with your routine way of life, so you drop them, you forget them. You think that they may be just the imagination, a dream.

But to everybody those moments come. I have not come across a single human being who has not in some way or other, in some moment or other, felt himself tremendously there and yet with no sense of 'I'. Those are the moments when you feel beauty, when you feel love, when you feel wonder.

Looking at the stars in the night suddenly something disappears, suddenly an emptiness arises in you... virgin, uncorrupted, unpolluted by society, culture, civilization, religion, scripture, tradition. Again you are pure, innocent. You are.

In fact, for the first time you are very substantial but with no 'I' anywhere. There is empty sky and the stars shining, and here you are -- empty -- and the stars reflecting. Two skies, both empty, meeting.

These are the religious moments -- moments of prayer, beauty, wonder, awe.

They come to everybody. Sometimes making love, suddenly you are not there and still you are. This is the paradox. You are for the first time, very very real, absolutely real, and yet no weight of the ego, no sense of 'I'. Making love, sometimes you are simply pure energy.

The experience of ecstasy is very natural to love -- if you are ready to lose yourself in it. If you still continue controlling, you still remain in the ego, then you miss the very door that love opens. You miss orgasm. Orgasm is a door to the infinite. It is a point for your ego to evaporate, to melt, to disappear. But if you go on controlling.... This misfortune has happened all over the world -- you go on controlling.

And now, in the West particularly, people have become too much manipulators.

The man goes on thinking whether he is making love perfectly or not, whether he is making love according to the experts or not -- Masters and Johnson and others -- whether he is going according to the reports of Kinsey or not -- and he's trying, making all efforts to satisfy the woman. And the woman is trying to satisfy the man. And both are missing because both are too much in the ego.

The woman is trying to satisfy her man as no other woman can satisfy; the man is trying to satisfy his woman as no other man can satisfy. Both are on an ego-trip and both remain dissatisfied. Because satisfaction comes only when nobody is trying to satisfy anybody; when everybody is simply disappearing into that vagueness, that merger, where personalities are no more separate, where things overlap, when one never knows who is who.

The man continues to be the man, the woman continues to be the woman -- then you miss that rare opportunity that love makes available. You remain closed to that door. The door opens and; closes, but you cannot enter into it. You are engaged somewhere else, with small things, trivia.

In deep lovemaking you can attain first glimpses of samadhi -- or in music, or in dancing, or looking at the sunset, or just sitting silently not doing anything.

But remember, whenever you are a doer you are missing, because the doer carries his ego. The doer is the ego.

Whenever you are a non-doer there is a possibility you may fall into line with the whole, you may fall into harmony with the whole -- what Buddha calls the way, the dhamma. You will become one with the dhamma, and suddenly a rush of bliss -- it rains all around, your whole being becomes saturated with a new benediction that you have not known before.

Personality has to go. With personality goes the ego. Then individuality has also to go, and with individuality goes the self. Then nothing is left and you are at home. Gone -- you have arrived.

One of Buddha's names is tathagata. It means 'who has gone very skilfully, disappeared very skilfully'. Gata means gone. Another of Buddha's names is sugata -- well gone, who has gone so well that you cannot find a trace behind...

nothing is left, just pure innocence. Become a sugata, become a tathagata. Allow yourself to evaporate and disappear. Only then will you find who you are.

You are not you. Your very sense of 'I' is a confinement, a bondage, an imprisonment, a cage. When the cage disappears the whole sky is yours; even the sky is not your limit. You contain the sky in your inner being. You are vaster than the sky, bigger than the space.

Question 2

A SCHOLARLY YOUNG KOREAN BUDDHIST MONK TOLD ME THE STORY

ABOUT A WOMAN WHO MADE LOVE TO EVERY MAN WHO CAME TO

HER FOR SEX, BUT HER CHEEK WAS ALWAYS WET FROM TEARS. I WAS

DEEPLY MOVED BY THIS STORY AND IT COMES TO MY MIND OFTEN. I CAN SIMPLY IDENTIFY WITH HER. COULD YOU COMMENT ON THIS?

This question is from Prem Vartya. She is a dancer from Korea. She is my first korean sannyasin and has much potential. I can understand what she means. The story is really beautiful. A very small story, nothing much in it, and yet tremendous is its content.

A WOMAN WHO MADE LOVE TO EVERY MAN WHO CAME TO HER FOR

SEX BUT HER CHEEK WAS ALWAYS WET FROM TEARS.

Just a one sentence story, but the story can be the story of the whole humanity.

This is what is happening.

Love is possible, but it never rises above sex. Hence all the cheeks are full of tears... wet. I can see your cheeks full of tears, tears rolling down. One of the greatest miseries in human life is that one remains with sexuality and never moves beyond it and never achieves a moment of love.

Love is born in sexuality but sexuality is not love. The lotus is born in the mud, but the lotus is not just mud. And if mud remains mud of course there are bound to be tears on the cheeks.

You are waiting to become a lotus, you are waiting to flower in higher space, and you remain rooted. This is happening down the centuries. There have been very few individuals who attained to love. Then they have smiles on their faces, then you can see the grace, the beauty, the beauty of the unknown descending in them. Love transforms.

Sex at the most is a release. Hygienic, healthy, I'm not against it, it's natural, but it is not the end, just the beginning. It is the very alphabet of love, but you have to make poetry out of it. All the poetry can be reduced to the alphabet.

It happened once that a friend of Mark Twain's, a great religious preacher, invited him to come to his talk. He had been inviting him many times down the years and Mark Twain would not go, but that day he said, 'Okay, I am coming.'

The priest prepared his talk, as beautiful a talk as he had ever delivered -- and he was a great preacher. Thousands of people listened to him in deep rapture. Mark Twain was just sitting in front of him, and that was his climax. The audience was spell-bound, as if there was nobody... there was such dense silence -- and the speaker was again and again looking from the corner of his eyes at Mark Twain, at what was happening to him -- and he was sitting there, bored!

When they were going back in the car, for a few minutes the preacher could not gather courage to ask. Then eventually when Mark Twain was getting out of the car at his house, he asked, 'Can I ask you how it was? Did you like it?'

Mark Twain said, 'All nonsense and all borrowed. By chance I have been reading a book these days and all that you said is in that book.'

The preacher could not believe, because he had not copied from anywhere.

Maybe a few sentences could be found here and there, but the whole speech?

And Mark Twain said, 'Word by word, you have simply repeated. It is a robbery.'

The preacher said, 'I would like to see the book.'

The next day Mark Twain sent him the book. It was a dictionary. Of course, in a dictionary every word is there.

Every poem can be reduced to the alphabet, but poetry is not just alphabet. All Buddha's sayings can be reduced to the alphabet, but those sayings are not just alphabet. That's what Freud has done -- he has reduced all love into sex.

Sex is only the alphabet of love, bricks out of which you can make a Taj Mahal.

But Taj Mahal is not just bricks. You can pile up bricks; it will not become a Taj Mahal. Taj Mahal is a composition of infinite love, of infinite creativity. Bricks are only the visible part of it. Taj Mahal is something invisible. Bricks have made that invisible visible in a certain way and you can feel it. Bricks help the invisible to be felt, but the bricks are not the invisible.

Sex is just like bricks. And if you go on piling sex, one is bound to feel in tears.

The woman must have been a woman of deep understanding.

People look at each other, but they don't look at each other at all. They are just looking for the sex object. A woman passes. Have you ever seen a woman as a being? Sometimes you become interested in a woman, but not as a being. You feel a certain attraction, but not as a being, but as a sex object. Or sometimes you are repelled, that too is sexual. Or sometimes you are not interested -- bored, neither repelled nor attracted, just indifferent -- but that too is sexual.

And unless you can come across a person who can look at you in your eyes as a being, not just as a sexual object; who can love you as a being... then you have found your friend, not before it.

We go on looking for only that which we have a desire for. Men looking at women, women looking at men, are not looking at each other. They are looking for something. They are looking for their own food. They have an appetite, a hunger -- that hunger is sexual. Hence whenever somebody looks at you as a sex object you feel offended, because he is reducing your identity to a very muddy state. He is reducing you to the lowest denominator, to the lowest rung of your being.

A person can love you without reducing you. In fact, love never reduces you.

Love helps you to rise above the ordinariness, love helps you to soar high. It makes you meditative, ecstatic. Love becomes the first proof that god exists, that life is not just matter, and man is not just body, that soul exists, that there is the world of the beyond.

That woman must have been missing it. She may have loved many people, but whenever she looked into their souls there was nothing but a desire for sex.

Many women have told me that they weep and cry when their man makes love to them -- because men make love and then they fall into sleep. It is a ritual. It helps to fall asleep, it is like a tranquilliser. And the woman goes on crying and weeping. She has been used and thrown away. Like a plastic thing -- you use it and throw it away. There is no need to be bothered at all now. Your need is fulfilled.

We look at the other person only through our need; then that look is offensive.

When you look at the other person as a beauty in its own right, a grandeur, a divinity, a god or a goddess.... Yes, that's what I would like to tell you -- that each man is a god and each woman is a goddess. When you look at the other as a god and a goddess then the other is fulfilled; that very look enhances grace, that very look helps the other to soar high.

In all the languages of the world we have such expressions as 'falling in love'.

That is ridiculous. Why 'falling in love'? Why not 'rising in love'? 'Falling in love'

indicates the very idea that love is just a trick -- really you want to fall into sex, you want to go low; you pretend.

I have heard

The new maternity ward had been open for six months during which time over five hundred babies had been delivered and every one of them a girl. During the early part of the seventh month a boy was born there and the nurses held a party to celebrate the occasion. At the height of the party a reporter arrived and asked whether the baby looked like his father or his mother.

'I don't know,' answered one of the nurses. 'We have not looked at his face yet.'

Just for six months only girls were born. Who bothers about his face now?

When a person looks at you with sexuality and passion in his eyes, he is looking at your genital organs, not at you. He is insulting you, he is reducing you to your genital organs. He is simply saying you are just an appendage. He is saying, 'I am interested in your sexuality, in your genital organs. I am not interested in you. You are just a situation, nothing more, but my interest is in your sexuality --

in you as a man, in you as a woman.' That is offensive, insulting, degrading, humiliating.

That woman must have been a woman of deep love. And if you have deep love you will feel always tears on your cheeks, because it will be very difficult to fulfill it.

Only lower needs can be fulfilled in this world, because people have fallen very low. If you have any higher need, you will suffer, if you have any higher need you will not find a right partner; if you have a higher need you will remain alone. That was the problem with the woman. And this I see as the problem of all human beings who are intelligent, who have some understanding.

People have reduced everything to money or to sex. These two things seem to be the real gods -- either money or sex. And people are after money also only for sex, because money can help.

I have heard:

A Jew went to a whorehouse and told the madam that he wanted the cheapest chippie in the place.

'We have a black girl for ten dollars,' she told him.

'But I only have four dollars,' he protested.

After a long argument the madam consented to take him on herself for four dollars.

The Jew did not return to the whorehouse for another ten years. When he did, the madam greeted him cordially and told him that as a result of their relationship years ago, he had a nine-year-old son. She called the boy out and introduced him to his father.

'So you are my dad,' said the boy. 'You know, ever since I was born I've wondered what my last name was. Tell me, dad, what is my last name?'

'Goldberg,' the father replied.

'My god!' exclaimed the boy, 'you mean I am jewish?'

'Don't knock it, boy,' he replied. 'If I had had six dollars more ten years ago you would have been black too.'

The whole thing seems to be either money or sex. And everybody seems to be reducing life to be just a whorehouse. All sacredness of life is damaged. And then it is natural that if you have a heart which is waiting for love you will remain unfulfilled.

Never look at another human being as if he or she is only sexuality. Look at human beings as really they are. Sexuality is part of them, but they are not just sexuality. A very small part, a beautiful part in itself, nothing wrong about it, but if that part becomes the whole then everything goes ugly. Whenever any part claims to be the whole then things go ugly.

If it is your head which claims your whole personality, you are ugly. Then you have lost your roots into wholeness. If it is sex that claims your whole personality and you start living for it, then again you are reduced -- reduced to the earth, your sky is lost. Then you are reduced only to the roots and you don't have any branches which can spread into the sky and greet the sun and the rains and meet with the clouds and communicate with the sky.

Sex is good, healthy, beautiful, in its own place. Try to understand me: if sex follows as a shadow of love it is tremendously holy. But if love is nothing but a seductive measure, if love is nothing but a salesmanship, if love is nothing but a seduction and only sex is the goal, then sex is ugly, love is ugly; then your whole being, by and by, will become ugly. You will exist like a wound, not like a flower.

Never reduce anybody to being just a sexual object, and never allow anybody to reduce you to being just a sexual object. If sex follows love, if it becomes a harmony in love, it has a totally different quality to it. Then it is no more sexual.

When it comes as a part of love... you love a person, you want to share everything with the person. When you love the person you want to share your mind, you want to share your body, you want to share your soul, you want to share your meditation, you want to share your... whatsoever you have. If you have an aesthetic sense, you want the person you love to share your poetry, to share your painting, to share your vision, to share your dreams.

Of course, when you love a person you also want to share your sexuality; then it is beautiful, then it has nothing like sex in it, then it is not the libido of Sigmund Freud. Then the energy has a totally different quality to it, and then it helps you to go higher and higher.

Nothing helps you to go higher than love. Nothing can help you as much as love can help you to go higher -- because it becomes such a tranquillity, such a calmness, such content, one feels as if one has arrived. One feels grateful, one feels at home in existence. One is no more a stranger.

Remember: while you are relating with a person never relate only for sexuality, otherwise your whole being will become absurd. And treat sexuality as prayer. It is one of the doors towards the divine. Don't do any sacrilegious act about it.

I have heard:

A pregnant jewish girl asked her doctor what position she would have to lie in to give birth to her baby.

'The same position you were in when you started it,' the doctor told her.

'My god!' she exclaimed. 'Do you mean I will have to drive around Berlin in a taxi for two hours with my feet hanging out the window?'

But this is happening. Your aquaintance with love happens in such odd and ugly places. Now the back seat of a taxi! It should happen in a church, in a temple.

The very association is ugly.

One should make love only when one is feeling tremendously beautiful, happy, celebrating. One should dance before one makes love, one should sing and pray before one makes love, one should read a few sayings of Buddha, or a few sayings of Jesus, or one should recite the Koran -- it is beautiful before one makes love.

Love should be entered as a shrine of god. Then love will give you such fulfillment as nothing else can give.

Question 3

YOU HAVE SAID THAT YOU EAT WHEN THE BODY IS HUNGRY, AND

YOU SLEEP WHEN THE BODY NEEDS REST, BUT I HAVE HEARD THAT

YOU EXACTLY FOLLOW THE CLOCK FOR YOUR BATH, FOOD, SLEEP, ETC.

PLEASE EXPLAIN.

Mm? It is from Krishna Radha. But she is asking like a magistrate: 'Please explain!'

It is just the other way around -- the clock follows me, and I look at the clock just to see whether it is following or not.

Let me tell you one anecdote:

Mulla Nasrudin was testifying in court. He noticed that everything he was saying was being taken down by the court reporter. As he went along he began talking faster and still faster. Finally the reporter was frantic to keep up with him. Suddenly the Mulla said, 'Good gracious, mister. Don't write so fast. I cannot keep up with you.'

I am not following the clock at all. But I have come to understand my body. I have come to feel its needs. I have learned much by listening to it. And if you also listen and you become attentive to your body, you will start having a discipline which cannot be called a discipline.

I have not forced it on myself. I have tried all sorts of things in my life. I have been continuously experimenting just to feel where my body fits perfectly. Once I used to get up early, at three o'clock in the morning. Then at four o'clock, then at five o'clock. Now I have been getting up at six for many years. By and by I watched what fits with my body. One has to be very sensitive.

Now physiologists say that everybody's body, while sleeping, loses its normal temperature for two hours; the temperature falls by two degrees. It may happen to you between three and five, or two and four, or four and six, but everybody's body falls two degrees in temperature every night. And those two hours are the deepest for sleep. If you get up in between those two hours, the whole day you will feel disoriented. You may have slept six, seven hours; that makes no difference. If you get up between those two hours when the temperature was low, then you will feel the whole day tired, sleepy, yawning. And you will feel that something is missing. You will be more disturbed. The body will feel unhealthy.

If you get up exactly after two hours, when those two hours have passed, that is the right moment for you to get up. Then you are perfectly fresh. If you can sleep only two hours even that will do. Six, seven, eight hours are not needed. If you sleep only for those two hours when the temperature is two degrees lower, you will feel perfectly happy, at ease. The whole day you will feel a grace, silence, health, wholeness, well-being.

Now everybody has to watch when those two hours are. Don't follow any discipline from the outside, because that discipline may have been good for the person who created it.... Vinoba gets up at three o'clock in the morning. It must be fitting well with him, but then the whole ashram, then all his followers get up at three o'clock and they feel dull the whole day. I have seen his followers --

dullards. And then they think that they are not capable of such an ordinary discipline. Then they feel guilty. They try hard but they cannot win and then they think that Vinoba seems to be very exceptional, very great. He's never dull.

But it simply suits with him.

You have to find your own body, its way, what suits -- that's right for you. And once you have found it, you can easily allow it, and it will not be enforced because it will be in tune with the body, so there is nothing as if you are imposing it; there is no struggle, no effort. Watch, while eating, what suits you.

People go on eating all sorts of things. Then they get disturbed. Then their mind gets affected. Never follow anybody's discipline, because nobody is like you, so nobody can say what is going to suit you.

That's why I give you only one discipline and that is of self-awareness, that is of freedom. You listen to your own body. The body has a great wisdom in it. If you listen to it, you will always be right. If you don't listen to it and you go on enforcing things on it, you will never be happy; you will be unhappy, ill, ill at ease, and always disturbed and distracted, disoriented.

This has been a long experimentation. I have eaten almost all sorts of things, and then by and by I eliminated all that was not suiting me. Now whatsoever suits, I eat only that. Vivek is in trouble, because she has to cook almost the same thing every day and she cannot believe how I go on eating and go on enjoying it.

Eating is okay -- but enjoying it?

If it suits, you can enjoy the same thing again and again. It is not a repetition for you. If it doesn't suit, then there is trouble.

It happened:

One Thursday night Mulla Nasrudin came home to supper. His wife served him baked beans. He threw his plate of beans against the wall and shouted, 'I hate baked beans!'

'Mulla, I can't figure you out,' his wife said. 'Monday night you liked baked beans, Tuesday night you liked baked beans, Wednesday night you liked baked beans, and now all of a sudden on Thursday night you say you hate baked beans.

This is inconsistent!'

Ordinarily you cannot eat the same thing every day. But the reason is not that it is the same thing, the reason is that it doesn't suit you. One day you can tolerate, another day it becomes too much. And how can you tolerate it every day? If it suits you then there is no problem; you can live your whole life on it, and every day you can enjoy it, because it brings such harmony. It simply fits with you, it is in accord with you.

You go on breathing; it is the same breath. You go on taking a bath; it is the same water. You go on sleeping; it is the same sleep. But it suits, then everything is okay. Then it is not a repetition at all.

Repetition is your attitude. If you are living perfectly in harmony with nature, then you don't bother about the yesterday that has gone, you don't carry it in your mind. You don't compare your yesterdays with your today and you don't project your tomorrows. You simply live here and now, you enjoy this moment.

Enjoyment of the moment has nothing to do with new things. Enjoyment of the moment has certainly something to do with harmony. You can go on changing new things every day, but if they don't suit, you will always be running from here to there and never finding any rest.

But whatsoever I'm doing is not enforced, it is spontaneous. That's how by and by I became aware of my body's needs. I always listen to my body. I would never impose my mind on the body. Do likewise and you will have a happier, a more blissful life.

Question 4

SO MUCH GRACE WITH A TALK ON GRACELESS MINDFULNESS. I WONDER IF THE BUDDHA'S LISTENERS BENEFITED SIMILARLY.

It depends on the listeners. It has nothing to do with Buddha or with me. It depends on the listeners. If you are en rapport with me, then you feel grace; if you are en rapport with Buddha, then you feel grace. If you are en rapport, that is the thing.

You can listen to me with a very logical mind, then you may be even annoyed.

You can listen with your accumulated knowledge, then you may even feel disturbed -- because if I am contradicting whatsoever you know, you will be disturbed. Or, you can listen with argumentativeness: then here I am speaking and there you are also speaking inside your mind -- contradicting, saying yes, no, arguing. Then there will be no grace.

If you are just listening... the knowledge has been put aside and you are listening to me as one listens to a musical instrument, to a melody; as one listens to wind passing through the trees; as one listens to dead leaves falling on the ground, whispering to the ground... if you are listening to me en rapport, in tune with me, grace will arise. It depends on the listener.

And it also depends on the listener what you hear. It is not so important what I am saying, the more important thing is what you are hearing. It is not necessarily the same thing. I may be saying something else, you may be hearing something else.

I have heard:

Two men were walking along a crowded sidewalk in a downtown business area.

Suddenly one exclaimed, 'Listen to the lovely sound of that cricket!' But the other could not hear. He asked his companion how he could detect the sound of a cricket amidst the din of people and traffic. The first man, who was a zoologist, had trained himself to listen to the voices of nature, but he did not explain. He simply took a coin out of his pocket and dropped it on the sidewalk, whereupon a dozen people began to look about them.

'We hear,' he said, 'what we listen for.'

There are people who can listen only to the sound of a falling rupee on the ground -- that's their only music. Poor people. They think they are rich, but they are poor people, whose whole music consists only in the sound of a rupee falling on the ground. Very poor people... starving. They don't know what life consists of. They don't know the infinite possibilities, they don't know the infinite melodies surrounding you -- the multidimensional richness. You hear only that which you listen for.

If you listen en rapport, in a deep merger with me, then grace will happen. The same grace has been happening always to all those who, whenever a Buddha, a Jesus, a Krishna was walking on the earth, were courageous enough to walk with these people. If you walk with me, if you sit with me en rapport, then you will be fulfilled. I am pouring something in you, but if you don't open your heart I cannot fulfill you, I cannot fill you. But if you open your heart soon you will be overflowing and that overflowing will make you a lotus out of the mud.

The lotus is nothing but an overflowing energy. Hence in the East we have respected the flower of lotus like nothing else. It has become the ultimate symbol of growth. We call the last center in your being, sahasrar -- one thousand-petalled lotus. Sex is the lowest center, sahasrar the highest. By sex you become joined with nature, by sahasrar you are in tune with god, or with the whole.

Move from the mud, transcend the mud, and hope and pray and wait for the lotus to open and flower in you.

It is possible. These moments that you are here with me are of tremendous import -- but you can hear only that which you listen for.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #5

Chapter title: Be therefore mindful

25 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IF A MAN WHO HAS COMMITTED MANY A MISDEMEANOUR DOES NOT

REPENT AND CLEANSE HIS HEART OF THE EVIL, RETRIBUTION WILL

COME UPON HIS PERSON AS SURE AS THE STREAMS RUN INTO THE

OCEAN WHICH BECOMES EVER DEEPER AND WIDER.

IF A MAN WHO HAS COMMITTED A MISDEMEANOUR COME TO THE

KNOWLEDGE OF IT, REFORM HIMSELF AND PRACTISE GOODNESS, THE

FORCE OF RETRIBUTION WILL GRADUALLY EXHAUST ITSELF AS A DISEASE GRADUALLY LOSES ITS BANEFUL INFLUENCE WHEN THE

PATIENT PERSPIRES.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

WHEN AN EVIL-DOER, SEEING YOU PRACTISE GOODNESS, COMES AND

MALICIOUSLY INSULTS YOU, YOU SHOULD PATIENTLY ENDURE IT AND

NOT FEEL ANGRY WITH HIM. FOR THE EVIL-DOER IS INSULTING

HIMSELF BY TRYING TO INSULT YOU.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

ONCE A MAN CAME UNTO ME AND DENOUNCED ME ON ACCOUNT OF

MY OBSERVING THE WAY AND PRACTISING GREAT LOVING KINDNESS.

BUT I KEPT SILENT AND DID NOT ANSWER HIM. THE DENUNCIATION

CEASED.

I THEN ASKED HIM, 'IF YOU BRING A PRESENT TO YOUR NEIGHBOUR

AND HE ACCEPTS IT NOT, DOES THE PRESENT COME BACK TO YOU?'

THE MAN REPLIED, 'IT WILL.' I SAID, 'YOU DENOUNCE ME NOW, BUT AS I ACCEPT IT NOT, YOU MUST TAKE THE WRONG DEED BACK UPON YOUR

OWN PERSON. IT IS LIKE AN ECHO SUCCEEDING SOUND, IT IS LIKE

SHADOW FOLLOWING OBJECT. YOU NEVER ESCAPE THE EFFECT OF

YOUR OWN EVIL DEEDS. BE THEREFORE MINDFUL AND CEASE FROM

DOING EVIL.'

MAN IS A CROWD, a crowd of many voices -- relevant, irrelevant, consistent, inconsistent -- each voice pulling in its own way; all the voices pulling man apart.

Ordinarily man is a mess, virtually a kind of madness. You somehow manage, you somehow manage to look sane. Deep down layers and layers of insanity are boiling within you. They can erupt any moment, your control can be lost any moment, because your control is enforced from without. It is not a discipline that has come from your center of being.

For social reasons, economic reasons, political reasons, you have enforced a certain character upon yourself. But many vital forces exist against that character within you. They are continuously sabotaging your character. Hence every day you go on committing many mistakes, many errors. Even sometimes you feel that you never wanted to do it. In spite of yourself, you go on committing many mistakes -- because you are not one, you are many.

Buddha does not call these mistakes sins, because to call them sin will be condemning you. He simply calls them misdemeanours, mistakes, errors. To err is human, not to err is divine. And the way from the human to the divine goes through mindfulness. These many voices within you can stop torturing you, pulling you, pushing you. These many voices can disappear if you become mindful.

In a mindful state mistakes are not committed -- not that you control them, but in a mindful state, in an alert, aware state, voices, many voices cease; you simply become one, and whatsoever you do comes from the very core of your being. It is never wrong. This has to be understood before we enter into these sutras.

In the modern Humanistic Potential Movement there is a parallel to understand it. That's what Transactional Analysis calls the triangle of PAC. P means parent, A means adult, C means child. These are your three layers, as if you are a three-storied building. First floor is that of the child, second floor is that of the parent, third floor is that of the adult. All three exist together.

This is your inner triangle and conflict. Your child says one thing, your parent says something else, your adult, rational mind says something else.

The child says 'enjoy'. For the child this moment is the only moment; he has no other considerations. The child is spontaneous, but unaware of the consequences

-- unaware of past, unaware of future. He lives in the moment. He has no values and he has no mindfulness, no awareness. The child consists of felt concepts; he lives through feeling. His whole being is irrational.

Of course he comes into many conflicts with others. He comes into many contradictions within himself, because one feeling helps him to do one thing, then suddenly he starts feeling another feeling. A child never can complete anything. By the time he can complete it his feeling has changed. He starts many things but never comes to any conclusion. A child remains inconclusive. He enjoys -- but his enjoyment is not creative, cannot be creative. He delights -- but life cannot be lived only through delight. You cannot remain a child forever. You will have to learn many things, because you are not alone here.

If you were alone then there would be no question -- you could have remained a child forever. But the society is there, millions of people are there; you have to follow many rules, you have to follow many values. Otherwise there will be so much conflict that life would become impossible. The child has to be disciplined -

- and that's where the parent comes in.

The parental voice in you is the voice of the society, culture, civilization; the voice that makes you capable of living in a world where you are not alone, where there are many individuals with conflicting ambitions, where there is much struggle for survival, where there is much conflict. You have to pave your path, and you have to move very cautiously.

The parental voice is that of caution. It makes you civilized. The child is wild, the parental voice helps you to become civilized. The word.'civil' is good. It means one who has become capable of living in a city; who has become capable of being a member of a group, of a society.

The child is very dictatorial. The child thinks he is the center of the world. The parent has to teach you that you are not the center of the world -- everybody thinks that way. He has to make you more and more alert that there are many people in the world, you are not alone. You have to consider them if you want yourself to be considered by them. Otherwise you will be crushed. It is a sheer question of survival, of policy, of politics.

The parental voice gives you commandments -- what to do, what not to do. The feeling simply goes blind. The parent makes you cautious. It is needed.

And then there is the third voice within you, the third layer, when you have become adult and you are no more controlled by your parents; your own reason has come of age, you can think on your own.

The child consists of felt concepts; the parent consists of taught concepts, and the adult consists of thought concepts. And these three layers are continuously in fight. The child says one thing, the parent says just the opposite, and the reason may say something totally different.

You see beautiful food. The child says to eat as much as you want. The parental voice says that many things have to be considered -- whether you are really feeling hungry, or just the smell of the food, the taste of the food is the only appeal. Is this food really nutritious? Is it going to nourish your body or can it become harmful to you? Wait, listen, don't rush. And then there is the rational mind, the adult mind, which may say something else, totally different.

There is no necessity that your adult mind may agree with your parents. Your parents were not omniscient, they were not all-knowing. They were as fallible human beings as you are, and many times you find loopholes in their thinking.

Many times you find them very dogmatic, superstitious, believing in foolish things, irrational ideologies.

Your adult says no, your parent says do it, your adult says it is not worth doing, and your child goes on pulling you somewhere else. This is the triangle within you.

If you listen to the child, your parent feels angry. So one part feels good -- you can go on eating as much ice-cream as you want -- but your parent inside feels angry; a part of you starts condemning. And then you start feeling guilty. The same guilt arises as it used to arise when you were really a child. You are no more a child -- but the child has not disappeared. It is there; it is just your ground floor, your very base, your foundation.

If you follow the child, if you follow the feeling, the parent is angry and then you start feeling guilt. If you follow the parent then your child feels that he is being forced into things which he does not want to do. Then your child feels he is being unnecessarily interfered with, unnecessarily trespassed upon. Freedom is lost when you listen to the parent, and your child starts feeling rebellious.

If you listen to the parent, your adult mind says, 'What nonsense! These people never knew anything. You know more, you are more in tune with the modern world, you are more contemporary. These ideologies are just dead ideologies, out of date -- why are you bothering?' If you listen to your reason then also you feel as if you are betraying your parents. Again guilt arises. What to do? And it is almost impossible to find something on which all these three layers agree.

This is human anxiety. No, never do all these three layers agree on any point.

There is no agreement ever.

Now there are teachers who believe in the child. They emphasize the child more.

For example, Lao Tzu. He says, 'The agreement is not going to come. You drop this parental voice, these commandments, these Old Testaments. Drop all

'shoulds' and become a child again.' That's what Jesus says. Lao Tzu and Jesus, their emphasis is: become a child again -- because only with the child will you be able to gain your spontaneity, will you again become part of the natural flow, tao.

Their message is beautiful, but seems to be almost impractical. Sometimes, yes, it has happened -- a person has become a child again. But it is so exceptional that it is not possible to think that ever the humanity is going to become a child again. It is beautiful like a star... far distant, but out of reach.

Then there are other teachers -- Mahavir, Moses, Mohammed, Manu -- they say listen to the parental voice, listen to the moral, what the society says, what you have been taught. Listen and follow it. If you want to be at ease in the world, if you want to be peaceful in the world, listen to the parent. Never go against the parental voice.

That's how the world has followed, more or less. But then one never feels spontaneous, one never feels natural. One always feels confined, caged. And when you don't feel free, you may feel peaceful, but that peacefulness is worthless. Unless peace comes with freedom you cannot accept it. Unless peace comes with bliss you cannot accept it. It brings convenience, comfort, but your soul suffers.

Yes, there have been a few people again who have achieved through the parental voice, who have really attained to the truth. But that too is very rare. And that world is gone. Maybe in the past, Moses and Manu and Mohammed were useful.

They gave commandments to the world. 'Do this. Don't do that.' They made things simple, very simple. They have not left anything for you to decide; they don't trust that you will be able to decide. They simply give you a readymade formula -- 'These are the ten commandments to be followed. You simply do these and all that you hope, all that you desire will happen as a consequence.

You just be obedient.

All the old religions emphasized obedience too much. Disobedience is the only sin -- that's what christianity says. Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden of god because they disobeyed. God had said not to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge and they disobeyed. That was their only sin. But every child is committing that sin. The father says, 'Don't smoke,' and he tries it. The father says, 'Don't go to the movie,' and he goes. The story of Adam and Eve is the story of every child. And then condemnation, expulsion....

Obedience is religion for Manu, Mohammed, Moses. But that world has gone, and through it many have not attained. Many became peaceful, good citizens, good members, respectable members of the society, but nothing much.

Then there is the third emphasis on being adult. Confucius, Patanjali, or modern agnostics -- Bertrand Russell -- all humanists of the world, they all emphasize:

'Believe only in your own reason.' That seems very arduous, so much so that one's whole life becomes just a conflict. Because you have been brought up by your parents, you have been conditioned by your parents. If you listen only to your reason, you have to deny many things in your being. In fact, your whole mind has to be denied. It is not easy to erase it.

And you were born as children without any reason. That too is there. Basically you are a feeling being; reason comes very late. It comes when, in fact, all that has to happen has happened. Psychologists say a child learns almost seventy-five percent of his whole knowledge by the time he is seven years old. Seventy-five percent of his whole knowledge he has learned by the time he is seven years old, fifty percent by the time he is four years old. And this whole learning happens when you are a child, and reason comes very late. It is a very late arrival. It comes when, in fact, all that has to happen has happened.

It is very difficult to live with the reason. People have tried -- a Bertrand Russell here and there -- but nobody has achieved truth through it, because reason alone is not enough.

All these angles have been chosen and tried, and nothing has worked. Buddha's standpoint is totally different. That's his original contribution to human consciousness. He says not to choose any, he says move in the center of the angle.

Don't choose reason, don't choose parent, don't choose the child; just move in the very center of the angle and remain silent and become mindful. His approach is tremendously meaningful. And then you will be able to have a clear perspective of your being. And out of that perspective and clarity let the response come.

We can say it in another way. If you function as a child, that is a childish reaction. Many times you function as a child. Somebody says something and you get hurt, and a tantrum and anger and temper... you lose everything. Later on you feel very bad about it -- that you lost your image. Everybody thinks you so sober and you were so childish, and nothing much was at stake.

Or you follow your parental voice, but later on you think that still you are dominated by your parents. You have not yet become an adult, mature enough to take the reins of your life into your own hands. Or sometimes you follow reason, but then you think that reason is not enough, feeling also is needed. And without feeling, a rational being becomes just head; he loses contact with the body, he loses contact with life, he becomes disconnected. He functions only as a thinking mechanism. But thinking cannot make you alive, in thinking there is no juice of life. It is a very dry thing. Then you hanker, you hanker for something which can again allow your energies to stream, which can again allow you to be green and alive and young. This goes on and you go on chasing your own tail.

Buddha says these are all reactions and any reaction is bound to be partial -- only response is total -- and whatsoever is partial is a mistake. That's his definition of error: whatsoever is partial is a mistake. Because your other parts will remain unfulfilled and they will take their revenge. Be total. Response is total, reaction is partial.

When you listen to one voice and follow it you are getting into trouble. You will never be satisfied with it. Only one part will be satisfied, the other two parts will be very much dissatisfied. So two thirds of your being will be dissatisfied, one third of your being will be satisfied, and you will always remain in a turmoil.

Whatsoever you do, reaction can never satisfy you, because reaction is partial.

Response -- response is total. Then you don't function from any triangle, you don't choose; you simply remain in a choiceless awareness. You remain centered.

And out of that centering you act, whatsoever it is. It is neither child nor parent nor adult. You have gone beyond PAC. It is you now -- neither the child nor the parent nor the adult. It is you, your being. That PAC is like a cyclone and your center is the center of the cyclone.

So whenever there is a need to respond, the first thing, Buddha says, is become mindful, become aware. Remember your center. Become grounded in your center. Be there for a few moments before you do anything. There is no need to think about it because thinking is partial. There is no need to feel about it because feeling is partial. There is no need to find clues from your parents, Bible, Koran, Gita -- these are all P -- there is no need. You simply remain tranquil, silent, simply alert -- watching the situation as if you are absolutely out of it, aloof, a watcher on the hills.

This is the first requirement -- to be centered whenever you want to act. Then out of this centering let the act arise -- and whatsoever you do will be virtuous, whatsoever you do will be right.

Buddha says right mindfulness is the only virtue there is. Not to be mindful is to fall into error. To act unconsciously is to fall into error.

Now the sutras.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IF A MAN WHO HAS COMMITTED MANY A MISDEMEANOUR DOES NOT

REPENT AND CLEANSE HIS HEART OF THE EVIL, RETRIBUTION WILL

COME UPON HIS PERSON AS SURE AS THE STREAMS RUN INTO THE

OCEAN WHICH BECOMES EVER DEEPER AND WIDER.

IF A MAN WHO HAS COMMITTED MANY A MISDEMEANOUR DOES NOT

REPENT...

Repentance means retrospective awareness, repentance means looking backwards. You have done something. If you were aware then no wrong can happen, but you were not aware at the time you did it. Somebody insulted -- you became angry, you hit him on the head. You were not aware what you were doing. Now things have cooled down, the situation has gone, you are no more in anger; you can look backwards more easily. You missed awareness at that time.

The best thing was to have awareness at that time, but you missed it, and now there is no point in crying and weeping over the spilt milk. But you can look, you can bring awareness to that which has already happened.

That is what Mahavir calls pratycraman, looking back; what Patanjali calls pratyahar, looking in. That's what Jesus calls repentance. That's what Buddha calls pashchattap. It is not feeling sorry, it is not just feeling bad about it, because that is not going to help. It is becoming aware, it is reliving the experience as it should have been. You have to move into it again.

You missed awareness in that moment; you were overflooded by unconsciousness. Now things have cooled, you'll take your awareness, the light of awareness, back. You move in that incident again, you look into it again as you should have really done; that is gone, but you can do it retrospectively in your mind. And Buddha says this cleanses the heart of the evil.

This looking back, continuously looking back, will make you more and more aware. There are three stages. You have done something, then you become aware

-- first stage. Second stage: you are doing something, and you become aware.

And third stage: you are going to do something, and you become aware. Only in the third stage will your life be transformed. But the first two are necessary for the third, they are necessary steps.

Whenever you can become aware, become aware. You have been angry -- now sit down, meditate, become aware what has happened. Ordinarily we do it, but we do for wrong reasons. We do it to put our image back in its right place. You always think you are a very loving person, compassionate, and then you suddenly become angry. Now your image is distorted in your own eyes. You do a sort of repentance. You go to the person and you say, 'I am sorry.' What are you doing? You are repainting your image.

Your ego is trying to repaint the image, because you have fallen in your own eyes, you have fallen in others' eyes. Now you are trying to rationalize. At least you can go and say, 'I am sorry. I did it in spite of myself. I don't know how it happened, I don't know what evil force took possession of me, but I am sorry.

Forgive me.'

You are trying to come back to the same level where you were before you became angry. This is a trick of the ego, this is not real repentance. Again you will do the same thing.

Buddha says real repentance is remembering it, going into the details fully aware of what happened; going backwards, reliving the experience. Reliving the experience is like unwinding; it erases. And not only that -- it makes you capable of more awareness, because awareness is practised when you are remembering it, when you are becoming again aware about the past incident. You are getting a discipline in awareness, in mindfulness. Next time you will become aware a little earlier.

This time you were angry; after two hours you could cool dawn. Next time after one hour you will cool down. Next time after a few minutes. Next time, just as it has happened you will cool down and you will be able to see. By and by, by slow progression, one day while you are angry you will catch hold of yourself red-handed. And that is a beautiful experience -- to catch yourself red-handed committing an error. Then suddenly the whole quality changes, because whenever awareness penetrates you, reactions stop.

This anger is a childish reaction, it is the child in you. It is coming from the C.

And later on, when you feel sorry, that is coming from the P, from the parent.

The parent forces you to feel sorry and go and ask forgiveness. You have not been good to your mother or to your uncle -- go and put things right.

Or it can come from A, from your adult mind. You have been angry and later on you recognize that this is going to be too much; there is a financial loss in it. You have been angry with your boss, now you become afraid. Now you start thinking he may throw you out, or he may carry the anger within him. Your salary was going to be raised; he may not raise it -- a thousand and one things... you would like to put things right.

When Buddha says repent, he's not telling you to function from C or P or A. He is saying when you become aware, sit down, close your eyes, meditate upon the whole thing -- become a watcher. You missed the situation, but still something can be done about it: you can watch it. You can watch it as it should have been watched. You can practise, this will be a rehearsal, and by the time you have watched the whole situation you will feel completely okay.

If then you feel like going and asking forgiveness, for no other reasons -- neither the parent, nor the adult, nor the child -- but out of sheer understanding, out of sheer meditation that it was wrong.... It was not wrong for any other reason; it was wrong because you behaved in an unconscious way. Let me repeat it. You go and you ask for forgiveness not for any other reason -- financial, social, political, cultural; no -- you simply go there because you meditated on it and you recognized and you realized the fact that you acted in unawareness; you have hurt somebody in unawareness.

You have to go and console the person at least. You have to go and help the person to understand your helplessness -- that you are an unconscious person, that you are a human being with all the limitations, that you are sorry. It is not putting your ego back, it is simply doing something which your meditation has showed you. It is totally a different dimension.

IF A MAN WHO HAS COMMITTED MANY A MISDEMEANOUR DOES NOT

REPENT AND CLEANSE HIS HEART OF THE EVIL, RETRIBUTION WILL

COME UPON HIS PERSON AS SURE AS THE STREAMS RUN INTO THE

OCEAN WHICH BECOMES EVER DEEPER AND WIDER.

Ordinarily what do we do? We become defensive. If you have been angry at your wife or at your child, you become defensive; you say it had to be done that way, it was needed -- it was needed for the child's own good. If you are not angry, how are you going to discipline the child? If you are not angry with somebody people will take advantage of you. You are not a coward, you are a brave man.

How can you just let people do things which should not be done to you? You have to react.

You become defensive, you rationalize. If you go on rationalizing your errors...

and all errors can be rationalized, remember it. There exists not a single error which cannot be rationalized. You can rationalize everything. But then, Buddha says, such a person is bound to become more and more unconscious, more and more deeply unaware... AS SURE AS THE STREAMS RUN INTO THE OCEAN

WHICH BECOMES EVER DEEPER AND WIDER.

If you go on defending yourself then you will not be able to transform yourself.

You have to recognize that there is something wrong. The very recognition helps change.

If you feel healthy and you are not ill, you are not going to go to a physician.

Even if the physician comes to you, you are not going to listen to him. You are perfectly okay. You will say, 'I'm perfectly well. Who says I am ill?' If you don't think you are ill, you will go on protecting your illness. That is dangerous; you are on a suicidal path.

If there has been anger, there has been greed, there has been something that happens only when you are unconscious, recognize it -- the sooner you do it the better. Meditate upon it. Move to your center and respond from the center.

IF A MAN WHO HAS COMMITTED A MISDEMEANOUR COME TO THE

KNOWLEDGE OF IT, REFORM HIMSELF AND PRACTISE GOODNESS, THE

FORCE OF RETRIBUTION WILL GRADUALLY EXHAUST ITSELF AS A DISEASE GRADUALLY LOSES ITS BANEFUL INFLUENCE WHEN THE

PATIENT PERSPIRES.

If you acknowledge it you have taken one very meaningful step towards changing it. Now Buddha says one very important thing: 'If you come to acknowledge it, if you come to the knowledge of it, reform yourself.'

Ordinarily, even if we sometimes recognize that 'yes, something wrong has happened', we don't try to reform ourselves, we only try to reform our image.

We want everybody to feel that they have forgiven us. We want everybody to recognize that it was wrong on our part, but we have asked for their forgiveness, and things are put right again. We are again on our pedestal. The fallen image is replaced back on the throne. We don't reform ourselves.

You have many times asked forgiveness, but again and again you go on doing the same thing. That simply shows that it was a policy, a politics, a trick to manipulate people -- but you have remained the same, you have not changed at all. If you have really asked forgiveness for your anger or any offence against anybody, then it should not happen again. Only that can be a proof that you are really on the path of changing yourself.

BUDDHA SAYS:

IF A MAN WHO HAS COMMITTED A MISDEMEANOUR COME TO THE

KNOWLEDGE OF IT, REFORM HIMSELF AND PRACTISE GOODNESS...

So, two things he is saying. First: the moment you feel that something goes wrong, something continuously makes you unconscious, and you behave in a mechanical way, you react, then you have to do something -- and the doing has to become more aware. That is the only way to reform yourself.

Watch how many things you do unconsciously. Somebody says something and there is anger. There is not even a single moment's gap. It is as if you are just a mechanism -- somebody pushes a button and you lose your temper. Just as if you push the button and the fan starts moving and the light goes on. There is not a.

single moment. The fan never thinks whether to move or not to move; it simple moves.

Buddha says this is unconsciousness, this is mindlessness. Somebody insults and you are simply controlled by his insult.

Gurdjieff used to say that a small thing transformed his life completely. His father was dying and he called the boy -- and Gurdjieff was only nine years old --

and he said to the boy, 'I have nothing much to give you, but only one advice that was given from my father to me from his deathbed, and it has tremendously benefited me. Maybe it can be of some use to you. I don't feel that you will be able to understand it right now, you are too young. So just remember it.

Whenever you can understand, it will be helpful.'

And he said, 'Remember only one thing -- if you feel angry, then wait for twenty-four hours. Then do whatsoever you want to do -- but wait twenty-four hours. If somebody insults you, you tell him, "I will come after twenty-four hours and do whatsoever is needed. Please give me a little time to think over it."'

Of course the nine-year-old Gurdjieff could not understand what it is, but he followed it. By and by he became aware of the tremendous impact of it. He was completely transformed. Because two things he had to remember -- one, he had to be aware not to do the anger, not to move into anger when somebody was insulting, not to allow himself to be manipulated by the other -- he had to wait for twenty-four hours. So when somebody was insulting or saying something against him, he would simply remain alert not to be affected. For twenty-four hours, he had promised his dying father, he would remain cool and calm. And by and by he became capable.

And then he understood it -- that after twenty-four hours it is never needed. You cannot be angry after twenty-four hours. After twenty-four minutes you cannot be angry, after twenty-four seconds you cannot be angry. Either it is instant or it is not. Because anger functions only if you are unconscious; if you are this much conscious -- that you can wait for twenty-four seconds -- finished. Then you cannot be angry. Then you have missed the moment, then you have missed the train; the train has left the platform. Even twenty-four seconds will do -- you try it.

Buddha says one who acknowledges his errors... and he simply says acknowledges it, he does not say 'who condemns', because there is nothing to condemn. It is human, it is natural; we are unconscious beings. Buddha used to say that god, or the universal soul, or existence, sleeps in the mineral, totally oblivious; in the vegetable the sleep is not so deep, a few fragments of dreams have started moving around; in the animal, god is dreaming; in man he has become a little aware -- just a little. Those moments are few and far between.

Sometimes months pass and you are not aware for a single moment, but in man there is the possibility of a few moments of awareness. In a Buddha, god has become perfectly aware.

Watch existence all around. In these trees, Buddha says there are just a few fragments of dreams. In the rocks... fast, deep sleep, dreamless -- sushupti. In the animals -- in the cat, in the dog, in the lion, in the tiger, in the birds -- god is dreaming, many dreams. In man he is coming above, just a little, a few moments of awareness.

So don't miss any opportunity whenever you can become aware. And those are the best moments -- when unconsciousness pulls you deep down. If you can use those moments, if you can use those moments as challenges, god will become more and more aware in you. One day your awareness becomes a continuous flame, an eternal flame. Then god is perfectly awake, no sleep, no dream.

This is the meaning of the word 'buddha'. 'Buddha' means one who has become absolutely aware. In no situation does he lose his mindfulness. His mindfulness has become just natural like breathing. Just as you breathe in and breathe out, in exactly the same way he inhales awareness, he exhales awareness. His centering has become permanent. He does not function from personalities -- the personality of the child, the parent, the adult, no. He simply functions from a point which is beyond all personalities.

This is what he calls 'reform'. The word 'reform' is beautiful. It means 'to make it again' -- reform, to re-build, to re-create. Reform does not mean just reform, reform does not mean just modifying here and there. Reform does not mean that somewhere the plaster has fallen so you put it again, somewhere the colour has disappeared, evaporated, so you paint it again. Reform does not mean small modifications. Reform is a very revolutionary word. It simply means form it again, be reborn, be totally new, take a quantum jump, move from the old personality, be away from the old nucleus, attain to a new center.

HE REFORMS HIMSELF, PRACTISES GOODNESS...

Whatsoever you feel is your basic error, just don't get chronically attentive towards it, don't get obsessed by it. That too is a fault. There are many people, they come to me and they say, 'We cannot control anger. We continuously are trying to control it, but we cannot control. What to do?'

Buddha says don't become obsessive about anything. Recognize it, become aware, and do something just the opposite. If you feel anger is your problem, don't be too attentive towards anger; become more compassionate, become more loving. Because if you become too much concerned about anger, where will you put the energy that will be released if you don't become angry? Create a path for the energy to move. It is the same energy. When you have compassion it is the same energy as it was in anger. Now it is positive, then it was negative. Then it was destructive, now it is creative. But it is the same energy -- anger becomes compassion. So before you want to change anger you will have to channelize, you will have.to make new channels towards compassion.

So Buddha says practise goodness, practise virtue. Find out your chief fault and create new pathways in your being. If you are a miser then just crying about it and talking about it is not going to help. Then start sharing. Whatsoever you can share, share. Do something that becomes a breakthrough, do something that goes against your past, do something that you have never done before. It is possible that you are angry because you don't know how to have compassion. It is possible you are a miser because you don't know how to share.

Buddha's emphasis is to be positive -- do something so the energy starts moving and flowing. Then by and by it will be taken away from anger. Become conscious but don't be obsessed.

You will have to make a distinction between these two things because human mind is such that it goes on misinterpreting. When Buddha says become mindful, he is not saying become obsessed, he is not saying continuously think of anger. Because if you continuously think of anger you will create more and more angry situations for yourself. Be conscious, but there is no need to contemplate.

Be conscious, but there is no need to be too much concerned. Take a note of it and then do something which changes your energy pattern. That's what he means when he says practise goodness.

... THE FORCE OF RETRIBUTION WILL GRADUALLY EXHAUST ITSELF AS A DISEASE GRADUALLY LOSES ITS BANEFUL INFLUENCE WHEN THE

PATIENT PERSPIRES.

Somebody has taken too much alcohol. What do you do? You can give him a hot bath or you can put him in a sauna bath. If he can perspire the alcohol will go with his perspiration.

Buddha says to do virtue is like perspiration. Your unconscious habits evaporate through it. So not doing bad is actually doing good. Don't be negatively interested, be positive. If you just sit and think about all the wrongs that you have done, by and by thinking too much about wrongs that you have done, you will be giving too much food to them. To give attention is to give food, to give attention means to play with the wound.

Take note, be mindful, meditate, but don't play with the wound. Otherwise you will be making the wound again and again more alive. It will start bleeding. So don't become too much concerned about your small things -- they are small.

I have heard about a saint who used to beat himself every morning, and he would cry, 'God, forgive me. I have committed a sin.' This continued for forty years. Again and again he was asked... He had become a very respectable man, he was thought to be a very holy man, and nobody knew that he had ever committed any sin because he was such a virtuous man. And for forty years people had watched him -- he was always in the public eye, he was always surrounded by people. When he was asleep, then too people were surrounding him, and nobody had seen that he had ever done anything wrong; he was continuously praying. But every morning he would beat himself, blood would flow from his body.

Continuously he was asked, 'What wrong have you done?' What sin? Let us know.' But he would not say. Only when he was dying, he said, 'Now I will have to say, because last night god appeared in my dream and he said, "You are creating too much fuss about it. Forty years is enough! And I have to tell you this, otherwise I won't allow you in heaven. You have not done anything wrong."' Just when he was young he saw a beautiful woman pass and desire arose in him, just an urge to have this woman. That was the only sin that he had committed -- just a thought -- and for forty years he was beating himself. Even god had to appear to him in a dream: 'Please, now... because tomorrow you are going to die. I will not allow you in heaven if you continue this. You have not done anything much, but you are creating too much fuss about it. Don't be fussy.'

All errors are just ordinary. What extraordinary sin can you commit? All the sins have been committed already; you cannot find a new sin -- it is very difficult. It is almost impossible to be original about sin. For millions of years people have committed everything that can be committed. Can you find anything new? It is impossible -- and what can you commit?

Bertrand Russell used to say that the christian god seems to be almost absurd, because the christian god says that if you commit a sin you will be thrown into hell for eternity. Now this is too much. You can throw a man for five years, ten years, twenty years, fifty years. If a man has lived for seventy years you can throw him for seventy years. That means he was continually sinning for seventy years -- not even a gap, not even a holiday. Then too you can throw him for seventy years.

And christians believe in only one life. It is good that they believe in one life, otherwise what will they do? For one life's sins they throw you in hell for eternity! Just think of hindus -- so many lives; one eternity will not be enough.

Russell used to say, 'I count my sins -- those which I have committed and also those which I have not committed, only thought -- and I cannot conceive how, for these small things, I am going to be thrown for eternity into hell, and I will be tortured for eternity. Even a very very hard magistrate cannot send me to jail for more than four years.' And he was right.

What errors can you commit? What errors have you committed? Don't call them sin because the very word has become contaminated, it has a condemnation in it.

Buddha simply calls them 'misdemeanours', ungraceful acts. Beautiful is his term

-- ungraceful acts, acts in which you behaved in an ungraceful way. You became angry or you said something which was not graceful, or you did something which was not graceful -- just misdemeanours.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

WHEN AN EVIL-DOER, SEEING YOU PRACTISE GOODNESS, COMES AND

MALICIOUSLY INSULTS YOU, YOU SHOULD PATIENTLY ENDURE IT AND

NOT FEEL ANGRY WITH HIM. FOR THE EVIL-DOER IS INSULTING

HIMSELF BY TRYING TO INSULT YOU.

Try to understand this sutra. It always happens -- if you become good you will find many people becoming angry at you. Because your very goodness creates guilt in them -- they are not so good. Your being good creates a comparison. It is very difficult for people to forgive a good man. They can always forgive a bad man, but it is very difficult for them to forgive a good man. Hence for centuries they remain angry against a Jesus, against a Socrates, against a Buddha. Why does it happen? You can watch in life.

I was once in a university, I was a teacher there, and one clerk who was the best on the whole staff and a very sincere worker, told me, 'I am in trouble. The whole staff is against me. They say, "Why do you work so much? When we are not working you are also not supposed to work. Just two hours is enough -- just go on putting files from here to there, there is no need..."' His table was always clean, no files piling, and everybody else' stables were full of files. Of course they were angry, because this man's presence created a comparison. If this man can do, why can't they do?

A good man is never loved because he creates comparison. A Jesus has to be crucified, because if such innocence is possible, then why are you not so innocent? It becomes a deep wound in your ego. You have to crush this man; only by killing him will you be satisfied. You have to poison Socrates because this man is so truthful. Why can't you be so truthful? Your lies are revealed by this man's truth. This man's reality, authenticity, makes you feel all pseudo. This man is dangerous. It is as if in a valley of blind people one man comes who has eyes.

H. G. Wells has a story that there was a valley of blind people somewhere in South America, and once a traveller came who had eyes. All the blind people gathered together and they thought that something must be wrong with this man; it had never happened. They decided to operate. Of course, in a valley of blind people, if you have eyes something is wrong with you.

Mulla Nasrudin is a hypochondriac. Once he came to me and told me, 'There must be something wrong with my wife.'

I said, 'What is wrong with your wife? She looks perfectly healthy.'

He said, 'There must be something wrong. She never goes to the doctor.'

He goes every day, regularly, religiously, and every doctor of the town is annoyed by him. Now he is worried about his wife. There must be something wrong with her because she never goes to any doctor.

If you live with unhealthy people, to be healthy is dangerous. If you live with insane people, then to be sane is dangerous. If you live in a madhouse, even if you are not mad at least pretend that you are mad, otherwise those mad people will kill you.

BUDDHA SAYS:

WHEN AN EVIL-DOER, SEEING YOU PRACTISE GOODNESS, COMES AND

MALICIOUSLY INSULTS YOU...

They will come and insult you. They cannot tolerate the idea that you can be better than them. It is impossible for them to believe that anybody can surpass them. Then the surpasser must be a pretender, then he must be a deceiver, then he must be trying just to create an image about himself, about his ego. They become restless. They start taking revenge.

WHEN AN EVIL-DOER, SEEING YOU PRACTISE GOODNESS, COMES AND

MALICIOUSLY INSULTS YOU, YOU SHOULD PATIENTLY ENDURE IT...

You should remain at your center, you should patiently endure it, you should simply watch it, what is happening. You should not get disturbed about it. If you get disturbed then that malicious person has defeated you. If you get disturbed then you are conquered. If you get disturbed then you have cooperated with him.

Buddha says just keep quiet, endure it, remain patient, and don't feel angry with him... FOR THE EVIL-DOER IS INSULTING HIMSELF BY TRYING TO INSULT

YOU. He is insulting his own potentiality.

When we crucified Jesus, we crucified our own innocence. When we crucified Jesus, we crucified our own future. When we crucified Jesus, we killed our own divinity. He was nothing but a symbol that this is possible to you also, that whatsoever has happened to him can happen to you also.

When we poisoned Socrates we poisoned our whole being, we poisoned our whole history. He was nothing but the coming star, the herald of the future. He was saying, 'This is your potentiality. Whatsoever I am is just a messenger to give you the message that you can also become like me.'

Buddha says: FOR THE EVIL-DOER IS INSULTING HIMSELF BY TRYING TO

INSULT YOU. You remain patient, you endure it, don't get angry.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

ONCE A MAN CAME UNTO ME AND DENOUNCED ME ON ACCOUNT OF

MY OBSERVING THE WAY AND PRACTISING GREAT LOVING KINDNESS.

It looks absurd. Why should people go to somebody, who has done nothing wrong to them, to denounce him? Why should they go and denounce Buddha?

Because he has not done anything wrong to anybody. He is in nobody's way -- he has renounced all competitiveness. He is almost a dead person as far as the world is concerned. But why should people go out of their way to denounce him?

His very presence is insulting to them. The very possibility that a man can be so good hurts them. Then why are they not so good? It creates guilt. That's why down the centuries people go on writing that a man like Buddha never existed, that Jesus is a myth, that these are just wish-fulfillments. These people never existed, these are human desires, utopias; they never really existed. Or even if they existed they were not like they are depicted; they are just fantasies, dreams.

Why?

Even today people go on writing against Buddha, against Jesus. Still today something hurts. Twenty-five centuries have passed since this man walked, but still there are people who don't feel at ease with this man. If he existed really, historically, then they are condemned. They have to prove that this man never existed, it is just a myth. Then they are at ease.

Once they have proved that there has never been a Buddha, never a Jesus, never a Krishna, once they have proved that there is no god, then they can rest, then they can be whatsoever they are, then there is no comparison. They are the last word in existence. Then they can remain as they are without any transformation.

Then they can remain and go on doing whatsoever they are doing. Then they can go on doing rubbish and they can go on talking garbage, and they can go on being unconscious drunkards as they are. But if ever a man like Buddha walked on the earth -- with such flame, with such glow, with such glory -- they feel hurt.

ONCE A MAN CAME UNTO ME AND DENOUNCED ME ON ACCOUNT OF

MY OBSERVING THE WAY AND PRACTISING GREAT LOVING KINDNESS.

BUT I KEPT SILENT AND DID NOT ANSWER HIM.

That's what I mean when I say get out of the triangle of PAC. Because if you answer you will react. You remain quiet, you simply remain at your center; don't be distracted. You just remain silent, serene, collected, calm.

BUT I KEPT SILENT AND DIDN'T ANSWER HIM.

That has to be understood. Because what is the point in answering such a man?

He will not understand in the first place. In the second place the possibility is he will misunderstand.

Pontius Pilate asked Jesus at the last moment when he was going to be crucified,

'What is truth?' and Jesus remained silent, he didn't say a single word. His whole life he was talking about truth, his whole life was sacrificed into the service of truth, and at the last moment why is he quiet? Why is he not answering? He knows that the answer is futile, it won't get home. There is every possibility that it will be misunderstood.

Silence is his answer -- and silence is more penetrating. If some disciple had asked him he would have answered, because a disciple is one who is ready to understand, who is receptive, who will take care of whatsoever is said to him, who will feed on it, who will digest it. The word will become flesh in him.

But Pontius Pilate is not a disciple. He is not asking it in a deep, humble attitude, he is not ready to learn. He is just asking -- maybe out of curiosity, or just joking, or just trying to make a laughing stock of this man. Jesus remained quiet, silence was his answer.

And Buddha says:

I KEPT SILENT AND DID NOT ANSWER HIM. THE DENUNCIATION

CEASED.

Because that silence must have surprised the man. An answer would have been okay, he could have understood. But silence he couldn't understand at all. He must have been shocked. He is denouncing and Buddha is simply quiet, silent.

He is insulting and Buddha is unperturbed. If he was perturbed, if he was disturbed and distracted, then the man could have understood the language.

That language he knew, but he did not know this totally unknown language of silence, of grace, of peace, of love, of compassion.

He must have felt embarrassed, he must have felt puzzled. He could not figure it out. He was at a loss. THE DENUNCIATION CEASED. What is the point of going on now? This man seems to be almost like a statue. He has not answered, he has not reacted.

I THEN ASKED HIM, 'IF YOU BRING A PRESENT TO YOUR NEIGHBOUR

AND HE ACCEPTS IT NOT, DOES THE PRESENT COME BACK TO YOU?'

Rather than answering him, when the denunciation ceased Buddha asked him:

'IF YOU BRING A PRESENT TO YOUR NEIGHBOUR AND HE ACCEPTS IT

NOT, DOES THE PRESENT COME BACK TO YOU?' THE MAN REPLIED, 'IT

WILL.' I SAID, 'YOU DENOUNCE ME NOW, BUT AS I ACCEPT IT NOT, YOU

MUST TAKE THE WRONG DEED BACK ON YOUR OWN PERSON. IT IS LIKE

ECHO SUCCEEDING SOUND, IT IS LIKE SHADOW FOLLOWING OBJECT.

YOU NEVER ESCAPE THE EFFECT OF YOUR OWN EVIL DEEDS. BE

THEREFORE MINDFUL AND CEASE FROM DOING EVIL.'

He has shown something without saying it. He asked the man, 'If you bring a present to a neighbour...' he calls it a present '... and he accepts it not, what will you do?' Of course the man must have said, 'I will take it back.' He was persuaded, now he cannot turn back. Buddha said, 'And you have brought a present to me -- maybe of insults, denunciation -- and I accept it not. You can bring, that is your freedom, but whether I will accept it or not is my freedom, it is my choice.'

This is something beautiful to be understood. Somebody insults you. The insult is not yet meaningful unless you accept it. Unless you immediately take it, it is meaningless, it is noise, it has nothing to do with you. So in fact nobody can insult you unless you take it, unless you cooperate with it.

So whenever you were insulted, you felt insulted, it was you, it was your responsibility. Don't say that somebody else insulted you. Why did you accept it?

Nobody can force you to accept it. It is his freedom to insult, it is your freedom whether to accept or not. If you accept then it is your responsibility, then don't say that he insulted you. Simply say, 'I accepted the insult.' Simply say, 'I was not aware; in unawareness I simply accepted it and then I became disturbed.'

Buddha says, 'Accept only that which you need. Accept only nourishment.' Why accept poison? Somebody brings a cupful of poison and he wants to present it.

You say, 'Thank you sir, but I don't need it. If sometime I want to commit suicide I will come and ask, but right now I want to live.' There is no need; just because somebody has brought poison to you there is no necessity that you should drink it. You can simply say, 'Thank you.' That's what Buddha did.

He says,'But as I accept it not, what are you going to do with it? You will have to take it back. I feel sorry for you. You will have to take it on yourself, it will fall on yourself... just as a shadow follows the object, or the echo succeeds the sound.

Now it will follow you forever and ever. Your insult will be like a thorn in your being. Now it will haunt you. You have not done something against me, you have done something against yourself.'

To be a help to this poor man who has done something wrong against himself, Buddha feels sorry, Buddha feels compassion. He says, 'Be therefore mindful. Do only that which you would like to follow you. Do only that which will follow you and you will feel happy. Sing a song, so if the echoes come, they will shower more songs on you.'

In Matheran, a hill station just nearby, I used to have many camps. The first camp, I went to see a place, an echo point. A few friends were there with me.

One started barking like a dog and the whole valley echoed as if many dogs were barking. I told the man, 'Take a lesson -- this is the whole situation of life: life is an echo point. If you bark like a dog, then the whole valley will echo and it will follow and haunt you. Why not sing a song?'

He understood the point and he sang a song, and the whole valley showered, echoed.

It depends on you. Whatsoever you do with others, in fact you are doing with yourself, because from everywhere things will return back, a thousand-fold. If you shower flowers on others, flowers will come on you. If you sow thorns in others' paths, the path is going to be yours.

We cannot do anything to anybody else without doing it to ourselves in the first place. We can do something to somebody else only if he accepts it, and that is not decidedly so. Maybe he is a Buddha, a Jesus, and he simply sits silently. Then the deed falls on our own being.

Buddha says: BE THEREFORE MINDFUL... He must have said in deep compassion... AND CEASE FROM DOING EVIL... because you will suffer unnecessarily.

Let me repeat one thing so that you can remember it. You have three layers: the child, the parent, the adult -- and you are none. You are neither the child nor the parent nor the adult. You are something beyond, you are something eternal, you are something far away from all these struggling parts, conflicting parts.

Don't choose, just be mindful, and act out of your mindfulness. Then you will be spontaneous like a child, and without being childish. And remember the difference between being like a child and being childish. They are two different things.

If you act out of mindfulness you will be like a child and yet you will not be childish. And if you act out of your mindfulness you will be following all the commandments without following them at all. And if you act out of your mindfulness whatsoever you do will be reasonable. And to be reasonable is to be really rational.

And remember, reasonableness is different from rationality. Reasonableness is a very very different thing, because reasonableness accepts irrationality also as part of life. Reason is monotonous, rationality is monotonous. Reasonableness accepts the polarity of things. A reasonable man is a feeling man as much as a reasoning man.

So if you act out of your innermost core, you will become tremendously content; contented, because all layers will be fulfilled. Your child will be fulfilled because you will be spontaneous. Your parent will not feel angry and guilty because naturally all that is good will be done by you, not as an outer discipline but as an inner awareness.

You will follow the ten commandments of Moses without ever having heard about them; you will naturally follow them. That's where Moses got them -- not on the mountain but on the inner peak. And you will be following Lao Tzu and Jesus -- and you may not have heard about Lao Tzu and Jesus. That's where they got their childhood again, that's where they got born. And you will be following Manu and Mahavir and Mohammed, very naturally, and still you will not be irrational.

Your mind will be in total support with it. It will not be against your adult rationality. Your adult rationality will be totally convinced by it, your Bertrand Russell will be convinced by it.

Then all your three conflicting parts fall into one whole. You become a unity, you are together. Then those many voices disappear. Then you are no more many, you are one. This one is the goal.

SO, BE THEREFORE MINDFUL.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #6

Chapter title: Nothing is lacking

26 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

Question 1

WHY CAN'T WE LET ONE ANOTHER BE? WHY CAN'T WE JUST SIMPLY

ACCEPT OURSELVES AND OTHERS JUST THE WAY WE ARE? WHY THIS

PERSISTENT 'CHASING-THE-TAIL GAME' OF TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT? --

THAT IS, MORE OPEN, MORE AWARE, MORE. YOU HAVE SAID OFTEN

THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE, PERFECT, THE WAY IT IS....

ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME WE STARTED PLAYING A NEW GAME? I'M GETTING

VERY EXHAUSTED BY THIS OLD ONE. AND LIFE AND LOVE AND FEAR

AND INSECURITY IS SO EXQUISITE -- JUST THE WAY IT IS. COULD THERE

POSSIBLY BE MORE?

THE FIRST THING TO BE UNDERSTOOD -- the 'more' has already happened, and there cannot be anything more; but it is very difficult to accept it because you can always imagine more. The problem arises out of imagination, and it is going to remain unless you drop imagination as such.

You have ten thousand rupees -- you can imagine more; you have ten million rupees -- you can imagine more. There is no end to imagination. The 'more'

comes out of the faculty of imagination.

The trees are not in any way hankering for more; the animals are not in any way hankering for any growth, they are not going anywhere. The reason is simple --

they have no imagination. Buddhas are also not going anywhere, they are also not part of this mad game, because they have dropped the imagination.

Unless you drop imagining, you cannot drop 'more'. 'More' simply means you can imagine. You are in love -- you can imagine that more could have happened, more can happen. That's why man remains in a continuous dissatisfaction; it is imagination that creates it.

The way is, either you become idiotic, fall back.... Idiots are not troubled. You will find idiots always in a happy mood. They cannot imagine. They are incapable of imagination. And many have tried to become idiots in the name of religion, many have tried practising things which make you idiotic.

If you escape from the world and you live a monastic life, a life of no relationship, a life absolutely lonely, with yourself, monotonous, then by and by your mind becomes dull, you lose imagination, you become crippled. You can do it in many ways, you can use many methods.

You can stand on your head for hours together; that will destroy your subtle faculties of the mind. The so-called yogis have been doing that. When blood rushes too much into the brain it destroys many tiny nerves, and by and by one becomes dull, stupid.

You can go to drugs -- by and by you lose your subtle faculties, your receptivity; you become stale, you become aloof, distant, indifferent. You start withdrawing into yourself. You become closed, and imagination is lost.

This seems easier to people -- to lose imagination -- because you are going downhill. But this is not the way to become blissful, because blissfulness is possible only when you are utterly intelligent. The trees are not hankering for more, but they are not blissful either, because they are not aware. How can blissfulness happen when you are not aware? They look blissful to us because we can see and watch, because we can observe.

Flowers look beautiful to us, children look beautiful to us -- so silent, so innocent

-- because we can observe and we can be aware. But in themselves they are simply below the threshold of awareness. Nothing is happening there, because happening starts only with awareness.

So you can fall into a dull existence, monotonous, stale, flat, and then the game is no more there. Or, you can rise above, you can move upwards, and you can come to a point from where, from the hilltop you can look at the valleys, and the whole game seems meaningless. Not that you stop playing it; you continue to play -- because it is meaningless but beautiful. You continue to play with no idea of any goal in it. You participate in it, but you are no more a participant.

That is the meaning of the zen saying: 'Be in the world but be not of it.' Be in the world but don't let the world enter in you. Move in the river but don't be touched by the water, don't allow the water to touch you.

There is nothing wrong in the game if you understand that it is just a game; then you can play it. The problem arises when you become very serious about the game. And you can watch people -- even playing cards they become very serious. Even playing chess they become very serious and very tense. They know they are playing a game but they go on forgetting again and again. The game becomes serious.

It is beautiful to participate in it. Chess is beautiful, a good sharpener of intelligence. But to become serious, it creates anxiety. To become very serious about it can create madness.

I have heard about one emperor of Egypt. He went mad because he was such a serious player of chess. His whole life was nothing but a concern about chess.

When he went mad his physicians were very much worried. They enquired all over the country. They asked old wise men what to do. One sufi mystic suggested, 'If some good chess player is ready to play with him he will be okay.

But you will have to find a very serious player, and really a match for him.'

They were ready to pay whatsoever was demanded. One of the greatest, a world champion, came and accepted the offer. One year continuously he played chess with the mad emperor. After one year the emperor was back to his sanity -- but the other fellow went mad.

There is nothing wrong in being playful, but don't get serious about it. And it seems -- the question is from Prabha -- it seems she is serious about it. Let us dissect the question step by step.

First: WHY CAN'T WE LET ONE ANOTHER BE? Because we are not ourselves, so how can we allow others to be themselves? You can allow the other only that which you have allowed yourself. You cannot allow more than that, remember it.

If you are not free you will not allow freedom to anybody else. If you are repressed you will not allow expression to others.

Whatsoever you are, you go on trying to enforce it upon others. You would like everybody to be just an image of you. That gives you a very egoistic feeling --

that everybody is imitating you, everybody is a carbon copy of you. And it puts you at ease -- that everybody is like that. If somebody is free and you allow freedom and you yourself are not free, you will feel very much depressed by the comparison. That's how repression has been perpetuated down the ages.

The parents were repressed by their parents, they have repressed their children, and these children will repress their children. And it is a chain, and it is very difficult to break it. Only rarely somebody gathers so much courage and becomes so individualistic that he jumps out of the chain.

To jump out of this chain is to jump out of the world. Then you are no more conditioned by anybody, and then you never condition anybody. Then you live in freedom and you impart freedom.

But you can give only that which you have. Being, you have not. How can you allow others? You are constantly finding ways and means how to destroy the freedom of the other, how to dominate, how to possess, how to command, how to force obedience. You are not at ease, you have not yet come home. You are not fulfilled, you cannot allow anybody else to be fulfilled. You are like a barren tree

-- you cannot allow other trees to have fruits, because that will hurt you very much.

You ask: WHY CAN'T WE LET ONE ANOTHER BE? Because you are not. So start from the very beginning. First, be! First allow yourself to be, then you will be capable of allowing others also.

I can give you utter freedom. I have no discipline here to teach to you, because I have tasted utter freedom, and I know that if you can taste -- even a little bit of it

-- your whole life will be transfigured.

You would like me to give you discipline. People come to me and they say, 'Give us some discipline, give us clearcut rules -- what we should do and what we should not. You never give us clearcut rules. You talk in vague terms.' It looks vague to them. I am talking in terms of freedom -- it looks vague. They say, 'You talk in an ambiguous way. We cannot decide what you mean. Why can't you give us clearcut ways? Why can't you reduce whatsoever you want to teach?

Why can't you put it in a few commandments, like the ten commandments? Then it will be easy for us to follow and we will not be confused. Why do you confuse us?'

I am not confusing you, I am simply giving you total freedom -- and of course, freedom is confusing. Confusing, because you have to decide every moment. I am not going to decide for you. Who am I to decide for you? Anybody who decides for you is a murderer. And you are in search of your murderers. You want somebody to take the whole responsibility.

That's what you ask -- clearcut rules so that you need not be aware, so that you need not be responsive, so that you need not be responsible. Whatsoever happens you can look in the book of commandments and follow the book. By and by you can learn the book by rote, memorise it, and then you can function through the memory. And then there is no need to function through your center.

Wherever rules are given, remember -- the man himself has not attained freedom. If he has attained freedom then he will know, he must know, that freedom starts at the first step. It is not something that happens in the end; it begins from the beginning. You have to sow seeds of freedom, then only will you be able to harvest freedom, liberation, nirvana.

WHY CAN'T WE LET ONE ANOTHER BE?

Because you are not. You are a non-entity. You yet exist not. You are just a dream, and that too very hodge-podge. You don't have yet any integration, you are not one. You jump on others, whosoever falls under your territory -- your children, your wife, your husband, your mother, your father, your friends --

whosoever is available to you, you jump and crush his or her freedom. Once you have crushed the freedom you feel at ease; now there is no danger.

If you really want to give freedom to others, you will have to begin at home.

Everything begins at home. Be free, become a being. Enjoy this tremendous freedom that life gives to you. Don't follow any rules. Just follow one thing, and that is your awareness. And let your awareness decide each moment fresh what is to be done.

There is no need to function through memory and through past knowledge, experience. Just function with fresh, virgin knowing, virgin awareness. And then you will see how beautiful it is to be free, and then you will see how beautiful it is to live with free people. Because to live with prisoners is to become a prisoner oneself.

Have you watched? A jailer is not a free man, cannot be. A jailer is more jailed than the prisoners. If you force so many people to be prisoners, how can you be free? That enforced imprisonment reflects in your being also; you become a prisoner yourself. Never enforce any imprisonment on anybody. Allow freedom and you will be free. You be free, and you will be able to allow more freedom.

They work together.

WHY CAN'T WE JUST SIMPLY ACCEPT OURSELVES AND OTHERS JUST

THE WAY WE ARE?

Because you have been conditioned to reject, not to accept. You have been conditioned to deny, you have been conditioned to say 'no'. You have not yet known how to say 'yes'. You have been conditioned to condemn. You were condemned and the same you are doing to others. You go on condemning yourself also, and of course the same you have to do with others. You cannot do otherwise.

Your parents were telling you, 'You are wrong, this is not right, this should never be done,' and a thousand and one times they have repeated it. And you have gathered one message: that you are not accepted as you are, you are not loved for your simple being.

If you fulfill their desires they love you; their love is a bargain. If you follow them like shadows, they appreciate, they approve. If you just become a little free and you try to be an individual, they are against you -- their eyes, their behaviour, everything changes. And every child is so helpless -- just to survive he has to be political, he has to accept whatsoever the parents are saying.

Then there is society, then there is the establishment of education. And by and by you go deeper and deeper into the mess, and everybody is there to force you to follow him. Then there are priests and politicians, all do-gooders, and they all want you to follow them, and they all have trained you. Your mind is a conditioned mind. That's why you cannot accept yourself and you cannot accept others.

But the possibility exists. If you understand this -- that this is just conditioning --

you can drop out of it clean, right now! Don't get identified with it, that is the only way. Don't think that this is you; just remember that this is society speaking through you. Don't call it your conscience, it is not your conscience. It is a pseudo-conscience created by the society. It is a trick, it is a very dangerous trick.

But the society has put inside you its own ideas and they function as your conscience. In fact, they don't allow your real conscience to surface, they don't allow your own consciousness to come and take charge of your life.

Society is very political. Outside it has posted the policeman and the magistrate; inside it has posted the conscience. That is the inner policeman, the inner magistrate. And it is not even satisfied with this arrangement -- above it has posted a god, the super-policeman, the head constable. So he is looking from there; even in your bathroom he is watching you. Somebody is following you continuously, you are never left alone to be yourself.

Drop this -- this is your idea, you are clinging to it. It has been given to you by others. It has been given so early that you don't remember, but it is a political arrangement. It is not religious.

Religion is an unconditioning. The very process of religion is to make you unconditioned, to free you of all conditions, and to allow you whatsoever you are meant to be, to allow you your destiny.

Drop out of this conditioning. That's what a real drop-out has to be. It is not just dropping out of the society -- that won't help because where will you go? Even if you become a hippie and you drop out of the society, you will create an alternate society, and again there will be rules, and again there will be conditionings.

If you move in the ordinary society, the establishment, you are expected not to have long hair. And if you move amidst hippies you are expected not to have short hair. But it is the same.

If you are moving in the established society, you are expected to take a bath every day. And if you are living with hippies and you take a bath every day, they will think something is wrong with you. But it is the same thing, upside down.

You cannot move out of the society. Many times it has been tried, but only alternative societies are created, and they become their own establishments.

You can move out of the society only in a very subtle way, there is no gross way.

The subtle way is to drop inside, out of the layer of conditioning. Just remember that now you are mature enough,..you need not bother what others say; you have to be yourself. And enjoy, start enjoying this freedom, and then you will be able to impart freedom to others also. Because if you want your freedom to grow you will need people who are free around you, because freedom can prosper only with free people.

WHY THIS PERSISTENT 'CHASING-THE-TAIL GAME OF TRYING TO BE

DIFFERENT -- MORE OPEN, MORE AWARE, MORE? YOU HAVE SAID

OFTEN THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE THE WAY IT IS...

I have said it but you have not heard it. What I say is not going to change you unless you hear it. Hence I have to go on repeating in different ways. My message is the same. I am not saying a new truth every day. I'm saying the same truth in so many forms, in so many expressions.

Now I have to hammer you from different directions because I see you so fast asleep. I can hear your snoring. I say it and in a way you also hear it, because you are not deaf -- but you have not yet heard it.

Once you have heard it -- that means, once it has hit home, once it has reached your heart -- then this question will not arise. Then you will not ask why. Then suddenly you will be able to see and the clarity will happen to you. You will see the whole game is this: you have been taught to improve, to go on. You have been taught to remain discontent. You have been taught that unless you are discontent you will never be progressive. If you are not discontent you will vegetate. Be discontent! Ask for more! And go on asking for more. If you don't ask, nobody's going to give you anything.

ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME WE STARTED PLAYING A NEW GAME?

But the new game will be the same if there is not a new mind. You can play the new game, that's what you are doing. What is this orange colour and mala? You are playing a new game; with a new name, you are playing a new game. But if the mind has not changed, if there has not been a revolution within you, then this game will also become, sooner or later, an old game. There are old sannyasins here who have settled. Now they have accepted this new role -- the revolution has not happened.

It is very easy to change your clothes, very easy to change your name; it is very difficult to change your attitude, your vision. What will you do, Prabha? Even if you start a new game you will be the same. Only the name of the game will change, nothing else will change. If you are the same, the result is going to be the same with the new game also.

There is no point in changing the game. The point, the basic point is to change yourself. Then you can play the same game if you like, or you can play a new game if you like, but that is not relevant. The relevant thing is -- you change.

Have a totally different vision.

What do I mean? There are two types of vision in the world. One, of the unenlightened person. That vision is: accumulate more, whatsoever it is --

money? okay; meditation? okay -- accumulate more, have more of it.

The unenlightened person is interested in having. He knows only one way of being and that is having -- have a big house, have a big car, have more money, have more virtue, have more bank balance -- in this world and the other also --

have more... more women, more men, more love affairs -- have more. His only idea of being is having more.

Having has nothing to do with being. You can have the whole world -- being is not going to result that way. You can have the whole world at your feet, and you will remain empty, because there is no way to change having into being.

Then there is another vision -- the vision of the enlightened person, of the Buddha. It is a shift, it is a radical change. Being is important, having is not important. Then there is no question of progression -- you are already, you cannot be more than you are. You can have more, but you cannot be more.

Let me repeat it: you can have more -- you can have a bigger house, there is no problem about it. Certainly you can have more money. Even if you are a Rockefeller you can have more money. Even if you are a president of a country you can have more power. Even if you are a great saint you can have more virtue.

But the whole... the dimension of having is always the dimension of discontent.

You can always have more. Imagination has continuous work, imagination is applicable.

The dimension of being -- you are already that which you can be. The goal has already been arrived at. There is nowhere to go.

The dimension of having is the extrovert dimension, the dimension of being is the introvert dimension. You go within yourself just to see who you are. Let us first know who we are, what we are. I'm not against having things, you can have, but first have your being. I'm not against living in a big house -- live, nothing is wrong in it, but first live in your inner being, then everything is okay. Then even if you are a beggar, it is okay; even if you are an emperor, it is okay. I am not insisting that you be a beggar.

My whole emphasis is first be! -- then everything is okay. But if you are not, then nothing is okay. Then you can have as much as you desire and still you will remain unsatisfied, unfulfilled.

So don't change the game; change your dimension, change your vision, have a radical revolution. The word 'radical' is very good; it means 'of the roots'. When I say have a radical change, I mean change your very roots. Changing leaves won't help, pruning the branches won't help. Change your roots, change your very soil.

Be! Celebrate! Nothing is lacking. Sing, dance, love, laugh, cry -- nothing is lacking.

I'M GETTING VERY EXHAUSTED BY THIS OLD GAME.

You can get exhausted by the old game, and you can change to a new game.

Again you will get exhausted with the new, because everything new will become old someday. Who is exhausted with the old game? It is the mind which always gets exhausted with the old and always hankers for the new.

Prabha is asking the question but she has not understood it, what she is asking. If you are exhausted by the old and then you are seeking for the new, you are seeking again for something more. Fed up with the old you want something new

-- a new sensation, a new thrill. But sooner or later the new will become old, then what? Everything new will become old, because everything that is old was new one day.

Try to understand it. It is not going to help by changing the game from A to B, from B to C. You can go on jumping. The change has to happen within you. You become new, and then everything remains new, then never is anything reduced to boredom. Then one is never fed up. YOU become new, not the game. You bring newness to you.

And being is always new because it is always happening... always dying and always being born. Each moment your breath is fresh; the moment it becomes stale it is thrown out -- new breath is rushing in. In the same way god rushes in you. Every moment the stale god is thrown out and the new god enters you.

Your river is flowing; just become acquainted with this inner river of consciousness, this stream of consciousness which is always fresh.

By its very nature it is fresh, it cannot be old. Mind is always old, consciousness is never old; mind is always bored, consciousness is never bored.

I AM GETTING VERY EXHAUSTED BY THIS OLD ONE. AND LIFE AND

LOVE AND FEAR AND INSECURITY IS SO EXQUISITE JUST THE WAY IT IS.

Then who is preventing you? Jump into life, Prabha. Jump into life, love, fear, insecurity. Who is preventing you? At least not I.

For whom are you waiting? For whose permission? Why are you asking me this?

Again you need somebody's approval. Then again you are trying to throw responsibility on me. Then if it is not really so, not as exquisite as you say, you can say, 'Osho, you told me to move into love, and now... I am having a hell of a time. You told me to be insecure, and now I am trembling -- now what to do?' If it is really exquisite, as you say, if you have understood the point, then why waste time in asking the question?

Jump into life, because it is slipping by. Before the time is gone jump into the stream, splash around.

And in the end again the question remains the same. COULD THERE POSSIBLY

BE MORE?

How can it be proved that there is not anything more? In fact, you come to listen to me just to find out -- is there something more? And when I say there is nothing more, you don't believe me. I know it, you don't believe me. You say, 'This man is playing.' You know there is something more, you are missing it -- but you are missing it not because there is more and you have not grown up to it; you are missing it because you are too much obsessed with the more and it is right here now already available.

You are missing, that I know. And because you are missing you cannot believe me that there cannot be anything more. You look into my eyes and you know that there is something more. You feel me and you know that there is something more. So you cannot believe it.

If I say there is something more and you have to attain it and much effort is needed, you will nod your approval. You will say, 'Right.' That's how you get caught by the gurus. Otherwise no guru can catch hold of you. Your desire for the more is your readiness to be caught -- that functions as a bait. And anybody who can shout loudly that there is more can get followers -- because everybody is missing and this man says there is more; maybe he knows, so follow him.

It is very difficult to be with me because I am not promising you anything more, I am not promising any rose gardens to you. And I know you are missing, that is true. But you are not missing because it is far away, you are missing because it is so obvious.

If you ask a fish about her life experiences, she will tell about everything except the ocean. She will talk about her love affairs, children, husband, family matters, her psychoanalyst, her guru, and things like that, but she will not mention the ocean because it is obvious. The fish ordinarily never comes across the ocean. She lives in it, but she has been born into it. It was already there before she came in. It has been so close that it is very difficult to know about it. There is no distance.

God is like the ocean. It is just sitting by your side, hand in hand.

You are missing him not because he lives on a distant star. You are missing him because he follows you like a shadow, here on this earth.

You are missing him because he is sitting within you and you are looking out.

You are missing him because he has become you and you are searching somewhere else. He is in the seeker; the sought is in the seeker.

Any day it can happen. Any day you decide to trust me, it can happen. I am not here to show you a path, I am here only to show you the goal. Because a path means one has to travel far, far -- the goal is somewhere else. My whole effort is to call you away from your so-called paths because the goal is here; where are you going?

Question 2

IN THE PAST FEW DAYS YOU HAVE TOLD SOME JOKES THAT SHOCKED

ME.

It is from Swami Anand Prashanta. Good, congratulations to you. At least you were shocked, something happened.

Once I was telling a joke to four persons. The first never heard it, he was asleep.

He was a great professor, so fast asleep in his knowledge. The second heard it but could not understand it. He was a politician -- stupid. The third heard it, understood it, but misinterpreted it -- he was a psychoanalyst. And nothing can be said about the fourth, because he had been dead for many years -- he was a priest.

Prashanta was shocked. Good, very good. At least he was not asleep, at least he is not dead. Because you cannot shock a dead man. He understood. Of course, he misinterpreted. He is in the profession of psychoanalysis. He assists Nirgrantha in his psychotherapy.

Yes, that is the very purpose. If you are alert I will stop telling jokes to you.

When I feel that now I am going too far away and you are going too far in, I have to tell a joke -- so that you are jogged, shocked, so a shiver goes in your spine and you become a little more alert and you can listen to me. And of course all jokes are shocking, otherwise they are not jokes. The whole purpose is to shock you.

You live covered with many buffers. Some sort of shock-therapy is needed. Yes, many jokes are crude -- it depends on you. If I see you are really fast asleep I have to tell you a very crude joke. There is no other way. A soft joke will simply pass over you. It will not give you any shivering in the spine.

But good -- that at least one person is not asleep here, Prashanta. But he misinterpreted. It is natural because interpretations come from our own mind.

He misinterpreted because he thought that they are crude and racist, because I joke so much about Jews.

I love Jews! I am myself an old Jew, so it is difficult for me to forget them. They are the most beautiful people on the earth, hence so many jokes exist about them.

And jokes exist because Jews are so intelligent. You joke only about a certain community because you cannot compete with it. The joke is a compensation.

Jews are really intelligent, one of the most intelligent races in the world, and everybody feels incompetent with them -- then you take revenge in your jokes.

Jokes are very indicative. They don't say anything about the object of the joke, they simply say who has created the joke; they say something about who has created the joke. Wherever Jews exist people joke about them -- because there is no other way to take revenge; in actual life they are far superior. It happens always.

So your interpretation is your interpretation. You think that I am against Jews or something? I am a lover. But I can understand. Prashanta says, 'These are the stories I told when I was a boy. And when I told them it was with cruel intentions.' So of course you must be projecting your own cruel intentions on me.

The stories may be the same, but the storyteller is not the same. Remember that, don't forget it.

Ordinarily Buddhas have never joked. It is for the first time a Buddha is joking. It is something very new, so you are a little puzzled. But to me everything is sacred. There is nothing profane. From sex to sahasrar, I accept everything. My acceptance is total. My acceptance is absolute.

So sometimes the joke can look crude, it can look obscene, but to me, nothing is obscene. Everything is just beautiful as it is. The obscene is an interpretation of the mind.

Drop your interpretation. The shock is very good, Prashanta, but interpretation has to be dropped otherwise you will misunderstand me, and you will miss an opportunity.

I have heard:

After nineteen years of hard married life, Clancy finally came across and presented his wife, Maggie, with the latest in real squirrel jackets. As she paraded grandly up and down in the kitchen with it on, their little son Terence exclaimed, 'The poor animal really suffered in order for you to have the coat.'

'Shut up!' his mother yelled,.as she smacked him across the mouth. 'Don't you ever be talking that way about your own father!'

Now the mother is saying something about her own mind. The poor boy was saying something totally different.

It always depends on your mind how you take it. If you are cluttered too much with traditional ideas -- that this is obscene and this is not obscene, and this is very cultured and this is very crude... I have no distinctions like that. Life is simply life to me -- crude and cultured both. Crudeness is part of it, of its very aliveness. But we interpret in our own ways.

Remember it -- whenever you interpret me, remember that it may be your projection. You may be seeing something which is not there, you may be putting in something which is not there. And this is natural, I understand it. I'm not angry about it. I can understand it. This is very natural, because that is the only way you can understand right now. One day it will become possible for you to listen to me without any interpretations. Otherwise there is a constant chattering inside your mind.

It happened:

A very well-bred english lady decided to get married, but she insisted that her husband be a man who had never known another woman. Her solicitors searched far and wide, and finally came up with a strapping young Australian who had lived almost all his life in isolation. They brought him to London, had him properly outfitted at a Bond Street shop, and presented him to her ladyship.

She was delighted, and the marriage was quickly arranged.

On their wedding night they registered at the Dorchester and retired to a posh suite. As soon as they were alone the young man began to push all the furniture to the sides of the room. 'Whatever are you doing?' asked her ladyship.

'I don't know about this sex with a woman,' he replied, 'but if it is something like kangaroos we are going to need all the room we can get!'

Now that is his only world. He knows only about kangaroos.

So, Prashanta, don't bring your kangaroos in. Just listen to me, what I am saying.

And to shock you is my purpose. So when you get a shock, let it enter as deep as possible. Don't be in a hurry to interpret it because that becomes a disturbance; then the shock will not go to the very core of your being. If you allow me to give you as many shocks as I think are needed for you, by and by you will start growing steel in your spine. You will become shockproof.

It is said about Mulla Nasrudin that he was so tired of dinner parties, he was so fed up, and he wanted to get rid of all those dinner parties. He devised a technique. He developed a system designed to guarantee that he would never be invited again.

First he would ask the woman on his right if she was married. If she said yes, he would ask her if she had any children. If she said no, he would ask her how she avoided it.

Second, he would ask the lady on his left if she was married. If she answered no, he would ask if she had any children. Third, he would ask the lady across the table if she had any children. If she said yes, he would ask if she was married.

Now, nobody invites him.

All my jokes are there purposefully to shock you, and those people who are very weak, weaklings, they have disappeared. They don't come to listen to me, they cannot come. Now only people who are courageous and who are ready to absorb these shocks can come close to me. But that is done knowingly.

Question 3

YOU SPOKE OF THE THREE WAYS: BEAUTY, GRANDEUR AND POWER.

WHICH IS YOUR WAY? OR IS IT ALL THREE?

It is neither. I have no way, because I am not leading you anywhere. I am trying to wake you up herenow. You are already wandering all over the earth. My effort is to bring you home. And of course your wandering is only in a dream.

It is as if you sleep in Poona and you dream of Philadelphia. In the morning you are again in Poona. So if I see that you are dreaming of Philadelphia, what am I supposed to do? Should I give you a path to come back to Poona? Should I arrange for a ticket so that you can travel back to Poona? I can only give you a shock, so you jump out of your bed and here you are. You have never been to Philadelphia, you were simply dreaming.

That's why in the East we call the world a dream, maya, illusion. It is a beautiful term. It simply says you are dreaming. It simply says that nothing is to be done except that you become aware, awake.

You have never gone away from the home, you have always been here; that is the only way to be. You cannot go anywhere else, that is not permitted. In the very nature of things everybody is there where he belongs. But everybody is dreaming and in dream one has drifted very very long -- many lives of dreaming, and one has been drifting and drifting and drifting, and one thing leads to another and one goes on and on.

You may have reached millions of miles away from the home, but still you are here, because in the very nature of things nobody can go anywhere else than his own being. Nobody can go away from his nature, his tao, his dhamma. That which you cannot lose is your god. Howsoever hard you try, that which cannot be lost is your law, it is your tao. So as far as I am concerned you are sleeping and you have to be awakened. There is no path to travel, no way, because you have never gone anywhere else.

A master has to devise methods to awaken. Zen people have the right word; they call their path 'pathless path', 'gateless gate'. Paradoxical, but exactly expressive of the reality.

And if you awake herenow, you will be full of beauty, full of grandeur, and full of power. Those three are the qualities of the awakened soul.

The awakened soul is beautiful, nothing ugly can exist in an awakened soul.

Awareness is the only beauty there is. The awakened soul is in a tremendous grandeur, grace. It is a mystery. You can enter into it, but you can never come to know it. It becomes known and yet remains unknown. One is simply struck with awe, one simply is wonderstruck.

And when you are awakened you are tremendously powerful. Not powerful in the sense that you can destroy, not powerful in the sense that you can dominate, not powerful in the sense of the politician's use of the word, or the scientist's use of the word.

Powerful in the sense that suddenly you don't feel any limitation, you don't have any boundary, you are infinite.

Powerful in the sense that you don't have any death, you are deathless.

Powerful in the sense that your bliss is tremendous, incredible.

Powerful in the sense that now your discipline is impeccable, perfect, and you don't have to force it; it's simply there.

Powerful in the sense that now you are a god, nothing less.

And powerful in the sense that now there are all gods and goddesses in the world and you are not separate, you are one with the universe, one with existence.

These three things happen to you when you are awakened. You are already that, but you feel very impotent. You feel impotent because you don't know who you are. You feel impotent because you don't know your treasures. You are almost drunk with ignorance.

I have heard:

Mulla Nasrudin, on his way home, accidentally staggered into the zoo, and ended up in front of the hippopotamus' cage. He was absolutely drunk. 'Don't look at me in that way,' he begged. 'I can explain everything.'

He thought it was his wife.

When you are drunk you see things which are not there -- a hippopotamus may look like your wife, or your wife may look like a hippopotamus. By the morning when you are no more drunk and the hangover is gone, things appear in their true colour.

We are drunk with ignorance, drunk with unawareness... drunkards stumbling on the path of life for many years, for many lives. The only thing you need to do is to become a little more alert. Get out of this hangover.

That's what meditation is all about -- to give you a little awareness. If you can become aware even for a few moments you will be able to see what reality is, and that experience of the reality will start transforming you. Then more and more of those moments will be coming to you, and more and more you will become real.

Right now you are unreal, that's why you have created an unreal world around you. When you become real, a real world arises in your vision.

God is the experience of those who are real. The world is the experience of those who are unreal -- unreal because of unawareness. The more real you become, the more aware you become.

Question 4

YOU HAVE SAID THAT THERE IS NO DEVIL BUT ONLY GOD. IN THE WEST

THERE WAS A LOT OF TALK ABOUT DEVIL POSSESSION WHEN I WAS

THERE, PARTICULARLY BECAUSE OF THE FILM 'THE EXORCIST'.

WHAT HAPPENS TO A PERSON WHO BELIEVES HIMSELF POSSESSED? IS

THIS SOME FORM OF OBSESSION OR IS IT REALLY A SPIRIT? IS THIS A DANGER OR ALL IN THE IMAGINATION?

The devil is like darkness. It is and yet it is not. Darkness is the absence of light, the devil is the absence of god. You bring light in, darkness disappears; you bring god in, the devil disappears. There has never been a meeting between darkness and light, and there has never been an encounter between the devil and god.

There is an old hindu story. Once darkness went to god and appealed and said, 'I have not done anything wrong, but your sun every morning goes on chasing me, for no reason at all, and I am tired of running away from here to there, and the sun goes on chasing me round the earth! This is unjust.'

God said, 'I will call the sun.' The sun was called, and god asked the sun, 'Why do you go on creating trouble for my darkness? She has not done anything wrong to you. This is unjust.'

The sun was surprised. He said, 'I have never come across her. What are you talking about? What do you mean by darkness? I have never come across anything like that. Please call her in front of me.'

The case is still in the files. God has been trying but it is impossible to call darkness in front of the sun. It is not possible in the nature of things because darkness is not a reality. It exists and yet it does not exist. It is absence.

It is the same with the devil, and it is good that the devil is painted as dark, black. That is just to show that the nature of it is like darkness. God is called

'light' in the Koran, in the Bible, in the Vedas. In all the scriptures of the world, god is synonymous with light. Meaningful, significant. It simply says that when god is there, the devil cannot be.

The questioner has asked: YOU HAVE SAID THERE IS NO DEVIL BUT ONLY

GOD...

Yes, but god can be absent, god can be asleep -- then the devil is. God can be fast asleep -- then the devil is very much. Don't fight with the devil because that will be fighting against darkness. If you really want to destroy darkness just bring light. Don't fight with darkness, that is foolish. Don't fight with the devil, just bring light, just bring god, just become a little more aware and make your god inside a little alert and the devil disappears by itself.

IN THE WEST THERE WAS A LOT OF TALK ABOUT DEVIL POSSESSION

WHEN I WAS THERE...

It has been always so. Down the centuries, all over the world, people have talked about the devil, because in fact the devil is more a reality in people's experiences than god. God has happened to only few people. Somewhere a Buddha, a Jesus, a Zarathustra, a Lao Tzu, a Mahavir -- it has happened very rarely.

The devil is everybody's experience, so there are people you can find, atheists, who don't believe in god -- but even atheists believe in the devil. There are people who don't believe in god, but even those people go on believing in the devil. Because the devil is a more solid experience of the masses, of the majority.

Maybe Buddha was deceived, hallucinating, hypnotized; watching his own navel he became crazy or something -- Who knows? What is the proof? -- but millions of people have experienced the devil.

Yes, that is true. The devil is more real an experience than god, but still I would like to tell you, the devil is not. It is more an experience because you are asleep and unaware. And you can go any moment berserk; you can be possessed by it.

The difference between a possessed human being and a non-possessed human being is only of degrees.

You just watch your mind. You can always feel that you are almost always on the verge. Any moment you can move into the territory of the devil. He is just sitting on the fence watching for you, inviting you. You just sit down, close your doors and windows and write down whatsoever comes into your mind for fifteen minutes, and you will see that it is as if it is a scripture written by the devil. Just be true, nobody is going to see it. You just be true and honest and just write whatsoever is going. You will feel almost madness oozing out of you. This madness can any day become devilish.

... WHEN I WAS THERE PARTICULARLY BECAUSE OF THE FILM, 'THE

EXORCIST'....

Films, stories, incidents, create their own atmosphere. When Marilyn Monroe committed suicide in 1962, the suicide rate in many cities of America went very high for a few days. It was five times more in New York and Chicago and San Francisco -- five times more than usual.

Just one woman committed suicide. Many suicidal people are there; suddenly they got the message. Suddenly they were obsessed with it. People live by imitation, and when Monroe, such a beautiful woman, can commit suicide, then why bother? You can also do it.

People simply go on doing things by imitation. In Japan in 1950, one schoolgirl jumped in a volcano crater. Then within two months three hundred schoolgirls jumped in the same crater. What happened? What madness? Things spread like infection. Man is so mad, just waiting for anything to trigger him.

And you are also prone. Remember that. Anything can become a trigger-point.

That's why I insist -- never imitate, never become a carbon copy to anybody. Try to become yourself, try to be yourself. Protect your individuality and don't get lost in a crowd, don't become part of the collective mind.

If you become an individual mind, one day there is a possibility you will become a member of the universal mind. But if you fall into the collective mind you are falling into the devil. The crowd is the devil, imitation is the path towards the devil. So if a film like 'The Exorcist' was there then many people will start talking about the devil and ghosts and possessions and many will become possessed, many will pass through many nightmares.

Mind is so greatly influenced so easily. That is the danger. That's how you have become a Christian, a Hindu, a Mohammedan, a Jew. It is just that you have been impressed by others. And anything that starts happening becomes a chain reaction. Beware, you have to protect your consciousness.

Never be a part of any sect, never be part of any organization, never be part of any country. I know there are practical difficulties -- you have to keep a passport.

I'm not saying throw it in the river. But remember that this is just a convenience.

Don't become a part of any country -- India or America or France. Never think in terms of boundaries. Don't think that you are a Christian or a Hindu or a Mohammedan. For practical convenience everything is okay, but remember that deep down you remain uncommitted, or, you remain committed to your own being.

This is a must, one of the most fundamental things to remember, otherwise humanity has suffered very much. Things spread like plague, things spread like infectious disease, and once they spread they spread like fire, and they become uncontrollable. You are prone, your mind tends to imitate, so beware. Cultivate individuality, cultivate your own awareness and then you will be less and less in the grip of the devil. The devil means the collective mind, the devil means the collective sleepiness, the collective drunkenness.

Question 5

ONE OF YOUR SANNYASINS, ANUBUDDHA BHARTI, STAYS WITH US IN

CHICAGO. HIS ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED BY YOU. HE IS

CONCERNED ABOUT YOU LEAVING HIM SOON. WHAT CAN I TELL HIM

WHEN I GO BACK?

Tell him that even if I leave the body I am not going to leave my sannyasins. I will be as much available as I am right now. But the only thing to remember is --

are you available to me?

I am available to you, and I will remain as available forever. If you are available to me then there is no need to be afraid, then a link exists.

And with my sannyasins I am individually linked. It is not a question that you belong to an organization, it is not an organization at all. It is a personal relationship, it is a love affair.

If you are open to me, even if this body disappears, it is not going to make any difference. I will be available to you.

Tell him that he need not be afraid. He can remain in trust and in love.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #7

Chapter title: Living the dhamma

27 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

THE BUDDHA SAID:

EVIL-DOERS WHO DENOUNCE THE WISE RESEMBLE A PERSON WHO

SPITS AGAINST THE SKY. THE SPITTLE WILL NEVER REACH THE SKY BUT

COMES DOWN ON HIMSELF.

EVIL-DOERS AGAIN RESEMBLE A MAN WHO STIRS UP THE DUST

AGAINST THE WIND. THE DUST IS NEVER RAISED WITHOUT DOING HIM

INJURY.

THUS THE WISE WILL NEVER BE HURT BUT THE CURSE IS SURE TO

DESTROY THE EVIL-DOERS THEMSELVES.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IF YOU ENDEAVOUR TO EMBRACE THE WAY THROUGH MUCH

LEARNING, THE WAY WILL NOT BE UNDERSTOOD. IF YOU OBSERVE THE

WAY WITH SIMPLICITY OF HEART GREAT INDEED IS THIS WAY.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

THOSE WHO REJOICE IN SEEING OTHERS OBSERVE THE WAY WILL

OBTAIN GREAT BLESSING.

A SHRAMANA ASKED THE BUDDHA: 'WOULD THIS BLESSING EVER BE

DESTROYED?'

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IT IS LIKE A LIGHTED TORCH WHOSE FLAME CAN BE DISTRIBUTED TO

EVER SO MANY OTHER TORCHES WHICH PEOPLE MAY BRING ALONG.

AND THEREWITH THEY WILL COOK FOOD AND DISPEL DARKNESS, WHILE THE ORIGINAL TORCH ITSELF REMAINS BURNING EVER THE

SAME. IT IS EVEN SO WITH BLISS OF THE WAY.

The first sutra.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

EVIL-DOERS WHO DENOUNCE THE WISE RESEMBLE A PERSON WHO

SPITS AGAINST THE SKY.

THE FIRST THING TO BE UNDERSTOOD is why in the evil person the very desire arises to spit against the sky, why in the first place the evil person wants to denounce the wise. The evil person cannot allow himself to accept that somebody is wise -- the very idea hurts him, hurts him very deep. Because all evil arises out of egoistic attitudes. And this is very shattering to the ego -- 'I am not wise and somebody else is wise. I am not good and somebody else is good. I am still in darkness and somebody has attained to light.' This is impossible to accept.

Two ways open: one is 'I should try to become wise' -- that is very difficult and arduous. The simpler and cheaper way is to denounce the wise, that he is not wise. Whenever you are faced with a challenge always these two alternatives present themselves before you, and if you choose the cheaper one you will remain in the evil.

Never go for the cheap, never go for the shortcut, because life is learnt only the hard way. Arduous are its ways, long, uphill is the task, because learning cannot come easily -- because learning is not just collecting knowledge, it is not just collecting information. Learning has to change you. It is spiritual surgery, much has to be destroyed and thrown away.

Much is rotten in you and has to be renounced. Much is just like a rock around your neck; it won't allow you to float, it will drown you. You have to cut off relationships with many things, with many attitudes, with many prejudices. You have to unburden yourself.

Learning, real learning, wisdom, comes only when you are transformed. It is not an additive process -- you cannot just add, go on adding knowledge to you. You will have to go through transmutation -- that is hard. The easier way is to denounce. Whenever you face the challenge -- somebody has become wise --

immediately the shortcut is to say, 'No, it is not possible. In the first place wisdom never exists, in the second place, even if wisdom exists, it cannot exist in this man. I know him well, I know his faults.' And then you start magnifying his faults, and you start condemning him.

It is not just a coincidence that Socrates is poisoned, Jesus is crucified, Mansoor is murdered. It is not just a coincidence that all the Buddhas are denounced, all the Jainas are denounced. When they walk on the earth they walk continuously in danger, because there are so many who feel their egos hurting.

Just to think that somebody has become enlightened is difficult. It is easy to denounce and to say, 'No, in the first place enlightenment is impossible -- it never happens, it is just an illusion, god does not exist. Samadhi? -- is nothing but auto-hypnosis. This man is deluded, he has not become enlightened. We know him well, we have known him from his very childhood. How can he suddenly become an enlightened person? He is just like us, pretending. He is a pretender, a deceiver.'

This is our ego choosing the cheaper way. Beware of it. The desire arises in everybody to condemn, to deny. So whenever a person like Buddha is alive we condemn him, and when he dies, we worship in guilt. All worship arises because of guilt. First you denounce a person, knowing well that something has happened, but you can't accept it. Deep down in your own self you can see that the person is transfigured, he has a luminosity. You cannot really deny it; in your deepest core of being you feel that a ray of light has entered. But consciously, deliberately, you cannot accept it. It will be accepting your failure. Doubt, you certainly doubt deep inside; whatsoever you are doing -- your condemnation --

you doubt it, but still you go on doubting.

Then one day the person is gone, Then only the fragrance remains, the memory.

And when a person dies and you have been not accepting his reality, a guilt arises. You feel, 'I have been guilty. I was not good. I missed the opportunity.'

Then you start feeling remorse. Now what to do? To balance guilt, you worship.

That's why dead masters are worshipped. Very rare are the people who worship an alive master. Because when you worship an alive master it is not out of guilt, it is out of understanding. When you worship a dead master it is out of guilt.

For example your father is alive and you have not respected him, you have not loved him. You have been in many ways against him. In many ways you have dishonoured him, in many ways you have rejected him. And then one day he dies, and you start crying and weeping. And then every year you will do shraddh. One day every year you will give a feast to friends and brahmins. This is out of guilt. And then you will put a portrait of your father in your house, and you will put flowers.

You never did that when he was alive. You never came with flowers unto his feet. Now he is gone you feel guilty -- you have not been good to the old man.

You have not done that which was needed to be done. You have not fulfilled your love and your duty. Now the opportunity is gone, the man is no more there to forgive you. The man is no more there so that you can cry and weep and fall into his feet and say, 'I have been bad to you, forgive me.' Now you feel, in a certain way, deep guilt. Remorse arises -- you put flowers. You respect the memory. You never respected the man -- now you respect the memory.

Remember, if you had really loved the man, if you had really respected the man, then there would have been no remorse, then there would have been no guilt.

Then you would have been able to remember him with no guilt, and that remembrance has a beauty. That remembrance is totally different, it has a totally different quality. The difference is tremendous. In fact you would have felt fulfilled.

It is not death that you weep for; it is always guilt. If you loved a woman, if you really loved a woman and you never betrayed her, and you never deceived her, when she dies of course you feel sad, but in that sadness there is a beauty. You miss her, but there is no guilt. You remember her, you will always remember, it will always remain a cherished memory, but you don't go out of your way to cry and weep and to make much show of it. You don't exhibit it, there is no exhibitionism in it. You will cherish the memory deep in your heart. You will not carry a picture in your pocketbook, and you will not talk about the woman.

I used to know a couple -- the husband had been very bad to his wife. It was a love marriage, a very rich family, but the husband was a sort of Don Juan, and he had been betraying his wife in every way possible. Then she committed suicide --

she committed suicide because of him.

I was passing through their town so I went to see, because somebody said that the husband was very unhappy. Since the wife had died his life had taken a change. I could not believe it. I thought he should have been happy. It was always a miserable relationship, a continuous conflict was there.

I went to see him. He was sitting in his drawing room surrounded by many pictures of his wife -- all around -- as if the wife had become a goddess. And he started crying. I said, 'Stop this nonsense! -- because you were never happy with this woman, she was never happy with you, that's why she has committed suicide. That's what you always wanted. In fact you have told me many times that if this woman dies you will be free. Now she has done that.'

He said, 'But now I feel guilty, as if I have been the cause of her death, as if I have killed her. Now I am not going to ever get married.'

This is guilt, it is ugly.

When a Buddha dies many people worship him. They were there when he was alive, but they never came to him. When a Mahavira dies, for centuries and centuries people go on worshipping. These people were there when Mahavira was alive, but now they feel guilty.

Look, Jesus was crucified. At the last moment even his own disciples deserted him; there was nobody to say, 'I am his follower.' Even the last disciple... when Jesus was caught, Jesus told him, 'Don't follow me because you will not be able now any more to follow me.' He said, 'I will come, Master. I will go wherever they are taking you.' Jesus said, 'Before the sun rises you will have denied me at least thrice. Don't do it, leave me.' But he insisted.

Jesus was caught, the enemies took him, and the disciple followed in the crowd.

The crowd became aware that somebody looks like a stranger, and they asked him, 'Who are you? Are you a disciple of Jesus?' He said, 'Who is this Jesus? I have never heard the name.' And thrice, actually thrice before the sun rose, he denied. And when he denied the third time, Jesus looked back and he said, 'Yet the sun has not come over the horizon.'

Nobody else must have understood but the disciple must have cried deep down that he has denied Christ -- that he does not know this man, he is a stranger in the town, he is simply coming out of curiosity. At the last moment even the disciples disappeared. Then Jesus was crucified, then disciples gathered, then more disciples gathered, then more and more. Now almost one-third of humanity is Christian.

This seems to be a tremendous guilt. Just think, if Jesus was not crucified -- not crucified -- there would have been no Christianity at all. It is not Jesus that has created Christianity, it is the cross. That's why the cross became the symbol of Christianity. I call Christianity 'Cross-ianity', not Christianity. In fact it is the cross, it is the death, that created the guilt. And it created so much guilt that...

what to do when guilt arises? You can compensate only by worship.

When a master is alive you love him: your worship has love in it, and your worship has no exhibition in it. It is a natural flow of your heart. But when a master is dead and you have been always denying him, then you worship him: your worship has a fanaticism in it, exhibition in it. You want to prove something. Against whom? Against your own attitudes.

I have heard:

'You sure looked depressed,' a fellow said to Mulla Nasrudin. 'What is the trouble?'

'Well,' said the Mulla, 'you remember my aunt who just died? I was the one who had her confined to the mental hospital for the last five years of her life. When she died, she left me all her money. Now I have got to prove that she was of sound mind when she made her will six weeks ago.'

That's what happens. First you deny a wise man -- that he is wise. You deny that he is enlightened, you deny that he is good. Then when he dies he leaves his whole legacy for you, he leaves all his money in your name. He becomes your heritage. Now suddenly things change, things take a one hundred and eighty degree turn. You were denying this man because he was hurting your ego, now suddenly you start worshipping him because now he becomes ego-fulfilling. The cause remains the same, whether you condemn or you worship.

Hindus destroyed Buddhism completely in India, but they accepted Buddha as their tenth avatara. Why? Because now it is okay to deny Buddhism, but how can you deny the heritage of Buddha? He was the greatest Indian ever. If you deny him your ego will fall short. Now with Buddha your ego shines like a star, a pole star. You cannot deny Buddha.

Now you go on claiming him -- that he was the most wise man, the greatest man ever. Now your own ego feeds on the name of Buddha. Now you want that it was your Buddha -- it was your Buddha now you say -- who transformed the whole face of Asia. He is the light of the world. Of course you killed Buddhists, you destroyed the buddhist scriptures, you denied everything -- but you carry on the name of Buddha.

Just think, when India became free and they had to choose a symbol for the flag, they chose a buddhist symbol. Is Hinduism lacking in any way about symbols?

There are millions of beautiful symbols in Hinduism. But why have they chosen the buddhist wheel for the flag? Now Buddha is their heritage. Now they would like to claim that Buddha was born here in this country, in this religious country, that he is ours. When he was alive you were throwing stones at him, now you claim he is yours.

When Buddha was alive, in every town he was condemned, wherever he was passing he was condemned. Now every town claims that he has been here, that he was born here, that he died here, that he stayed here in this house, that for forty years continuously he was coming here, twenty times he came. Every town in Bihar claims.

The whole of Bihar condemned him. Now the name 'Bihar' is because of him, because he walked there. Bihar means 'where Buddha walks'. Now the whole place is called Bihar. Now we go on claiming. Nehru took his bones back, brought his bones back to India. Nehru was not a religious person at all, not at all. Why? Now the indian ego can feel very fulfilled. Buddha has to be brought home. The same ego was condemning him, now the same ego goes on worshipping him. Remember it. Your ego always denies -- watch it.

These sutras are for you. Remember. They are not airy-fairy things, they are not theories. They are very empirical, pragmatic: Buddha was a very pragmatic man.

Just the other day it happened, Mulla Nasrudin came to see me -- after yesterday's morning talk. He shook hands with me and said, 'Wonderful, wonderful sermon. Everything you said applies to somebody or other I know.'

These sutras apply to you, not to somebody or other you know. If somebody says that 'X' has become enlightened, what is your first reaction? Watch it. You say,

'X? That fool. He has become enlightened? Impossible!' Just watch your first impression. Be alert what happens in your mind. And immediately you will start talking about all the defects and faults that you know. And watch that you are also exaggerating.

Sometimes it happens that if somebody says to you that some person has become enlightened, he has become very wise, you will say, 'That man? I know him well from his very childhood. I have seen him, I have watched him. Enlightenment doesn't happen in a day. It is a process. It is not possible.' Or you find something irrelevant.

Buddha used to say that once in a town a man said to his friend, 'Have you heard about our neighbour? He is such a virtuous man.' The other said, 'How come? It is not possible, it is impossible. I live by his side, we have lived together -- how can it happen without me knowing it before you knew it? We are neighbours and I know everything, in and out. It is just a pretension. He is pretending, but who does he think he can befool?'

It is very difficult to accept that somebody is wise because in accepting that somebody is wise, you are accepting that you are ignorant -- that is the problem.

It is not the question of the other being wise, the question is in relation to you.

When you accept somebody as beautiful, you accept very reluctantly.

Talk to a woman about some other woman who is beautiful and she becomes reluctant and she starts immediately condemning. Because to accept that another woman is beautiful is to accept that you are not so beautiful. A comparison immediately arises -- ego exists through comparison.

In Zen they say that one man was a beautiful flute player. Somebody was praising him in the coffee-house, that he is a beautiful flute player. Immediately another person started condemning. He said, 'He is a liar, he is a thief -- how can he play beautiful flute?'

Now there is nothing contradictory. You can lie and still play beautiful flute, you can be a beautiful flute player. You can be a thief, still you can play the flute beautifully. There is no contradiction. But the other man simply said, 'He cannot.

He is a thief, he is a liar...' and this and that. 'I know him -- he cannot play.' And when people become too much condemning, shouting, their very shouting carries weight. The person who was talking about the flute player was silenced.

He was talking to somebody else the next day and he said 'That man is a thief.'

The other man said, 'How can he be a thief? He plays the flute so beautifully.'

Now again there is no contradiction, but this second man has a totally different vision. This second man is open to grow, who says, 'How can he be a thief? I know him he plays the flute so beautifully. Such an aesthetic person cannot be a thief. Impossible! I cannot believe it.' Whether that person is a thief or not is not the question, but these two reactions will decide many things for these two persons.

When somebody says, 'There is a good man,' watch, don't start condemning --

because when you condemn goodness you condemn your own future. If you go on condemning goodness and wisdom you will never become good and never become wise, because whatsoever you are condemning cannot happen to you.

You will become closed.

Even if that man is not good, even if that man is not wise, it is not good to deny.

Accept it. What are you losing in it? The very acceptance that that man can be good and wise will help you to become good and wise. Your doors open, you are no more closed. And if that man can become good and wise, why not you? If you think that that man is ordinary, don't condemn him. Simply be happy, accept it as good news -- 'That ordinary man has become wise, sol also can become wise because I am also ordinary.' Why make it a negative point? That's why Buddha says:

EVIL-DOERS WHO DENOUNCE THE WISE RESEMBLE A PERSON WHO

SPITS AGAINST THE SKY.

You are spitting on your own face. When you spit against the sky, the sky is not going to be corrupted by you. You will be corrupted by your own spitting. The spit is going to fall on you. Your whole effort is absurd. The sky will remain the sky.

The wise man is like the sky. That too is very symbolic. Sky means pure space.

Why this proverb that spitting against the sky is foolish? Why? -- because the sky is not there. If the sky is there your spit may corrupt it. You spit against the wall -

- it will not come back to you. You spit against the roof -- if you are expert it may not come back. You can practise it. There is no necessity that it will come back, because the roof is there; it can be corrupted. That which is can be corrupted, that which is not cannot be corrupted.

The wise man is not, his ego has disappeared. He is not a substance, he is just pure space. You can pass through him, you can spit through him, and there is no hindrance. The spit will pass through him, he will not catch hold of it.

If you insult a wise man, your insult is not taken by him. It is as if, in an empty room, you are insulting. Yes, you will create a sound, that's all. When the sound has disappeared the room is again the same. The room will not carry your insult, the room is empty.

The wise man is empty like the sky. The saying must be buddhist because Buddha says that the wise man means no self, no ego. The wise man means non-existential. He is not there, he is a pure presence, no material in him. You can pass through him. There will be no obstruction found in him, no hindrance found in him.

EVIL-DOERS WHO DENOUNCE THE WISE RESEMBLE A PERSON WHO

SPITS AGAINST THE SKY. THE SPITTLE WILL NEVER REACH THE SKY...

Not that the sky is very far away. No, the sky is very close, you are in the sky.

But it cannot reach to the sky because sky is so pure existence. It is simply space and nothing else. Everything comes and goes and the sky remains innocent.

How many wars have happened on the earth? -- but you cannot find any blood marks in the sky. How many people have lived on the earth? How many misdeeds have been committed, murders, suicides? -- but the sky carries no record, not even a trace. The past simply does not exist. Clouds come and go and the sky remains the same. Nothing corrupts it.

A wise man becomes so spacious that nothing corrupts him.

You can only believe that you are insulting him; your insult will come back to you. The wise man is like a valley; your insult will be re-echoed. It will fall upon you.

THE SPITTLE WILL NEVER REACH THE SKY BUT COMES DOWN ON

HIMSELF.

That too has to be understood. The wise man is higher than you, the wise man is like a peak, a himalayan peak. You are standing in the darkness, in the valley, in ignorance.

If you spit against the higher, the spit will fall back on you. It is against nature, it is against gravitation. So if somebody is insulted by your insult you can be certain that he is lower than you. If somebody is not insulted by your insult you can be certain that he is higher than you, that your insult cannot reach him.

Because insults follow gravitation. They go to lower depths.

So if you are angry you can only infuriate an inferior person. A higher person simply remains beyond you. You can infuriate only a weaker person, the stronger person remains unaffected by you. You can manipulate through insult only lower beings, higher beings are far beyond.

EVIL-DOERS AGAIN RESEMBLE A MAN WHO STIRS THE DUST AGAINST

THE WIND. THE DUST IS NEVER RAISED WITHOUT DOING HIM INJURY.

THUS THE WISE WILL NEVER BE HURT BUT THE CURSE IS SURE TO

DESTROY THE EVIL-DOERS THEMSELVES.

Remember it. We go on doing things which are against us. We go on doing things which are suicidal. We go on doing things which will destroy our future.

Each act that you are doing is in some way defining your future.

Beware -- don't do anything that is going to do harm to you. And whenever you try to harm somebody, you are doing harm to yourself. Whenever you try to do some wound, whenever you want to hurt, you are creating a karma for yourself.

You will be hurt by it.

It happened, once a man came and spat on Buddha -- actually. Buddha wiped his face and asked the man, 'Sir, have you anything else to say?' The man was puzzled, embarassed. He was not expecting such a reaction. He was thinking Buddha would be angry. He could not believe his own eyes. He was dumb, he was in a daze.

Buddha's own disciple, Ananda, was sitting by his side. He became very very angry. He said to Buddha, 'What is this?' If you allow people this way, life will become impossible. You just tell me and I will put him right.' He was a strong man, this Ananda. He was a warrior, he was a cousin-brother to Buddha, he himself was a prince. He was very much angry. He said, 'What nonsense. Just give me a hint and I will put him right.'

Buddha laughed and he said, 'He has not surprised me, but you surprise me.

Why are you jumping in it? He has not done anything to you. As far as his spitting on me is concerned, I know I have insulted him in some past life. The accounts are closed today. I am happy.'

'Thank you sir,' he said to the man. 'I was waiting for you because the account has to be closed. I have insulted you somewhere. You may not remember, I remember it. You may not know, I know it. You may have forgotten because you are not very aware, but I have not forgotten. Today I am happy you came and you finished the whole thing. Now we are freed from each other.'

'This is my own doing,' he said to Ananda, 'that has come back to me.'

Of course when you spit against the sky, it takes a little time to come back. It does not come instantly, it depends on many things -- but everything comes back. Whatsoever you do is sowing: one day or other you will have to harvest, one day or other you will have to reap it.

If you are miserable today, these are the seeds which have flowered. These seeds you may have sowed somewhere in your past -- this life, another life, somewhere. Whatsoever you are today is nothing but your accumulated past.

Your whole past is your present. Whatsoever you are going to be tomorrow will be whatsoever you are doing today.

Nothing can be done about the past, but much can be done about the future. And to change the future is to change all. If you start changing your ways of life, your ways of awareness, if you start understanding the laws of life... this is one of the fundamental laws, the law of karma: whatsoever you do you will have to reap.

Never forget it for a single moment. Because forgetting it has created so much misery for you. Remember it. Again and again old samskaras, old tendencies, will force you just by habit to do the old things. Remember -- and drop out of old habits, drop out of mechanical reactions; become more conscious. A small awareness and great changes start happening.

I have heard:

It happened in Japan. Once a mother visited her son at college and was pained to see suggestive pictures on the walls of his room. She said nothing, but hung a picture of Buddha among the others. When she came again to see the boy the other pictures were gone, only the one of Buddha was left. The boy said,

'Somehow I could not keep him there and those pictures too -- so they had to go.

Just a small thing, just a small picture of Buddha, and all those suggestive, pornographic pictures had to go. What happened? The boy started feeling uneasy. How to put Buddha there with all those pictures? By and by Buddha's presence was felt; the more and more aware he became, the more pictures disappeared. Just a small ray of light is enough to dispel all darkness. Just allow the first ray!

If you start becoming aware in a small way -- nothing to be worried -- by and by you will see all other pictures have gone and only awareness has remained.

Buddha means awareness, the very word 'Buddha' means awareness.

If you really want to be happy and blissful, to be eternally blissful, if you are fed up with all the miseries that you have lived through, then bring awareness to your reactions. And start trusting the good.

In English you have an expression 'too good to be true'. This expression is very dangerous. Too good to be true? Just if something is too good you disbelieve it; it can't be true? Change it, let it be this way: TOO GOOD TO BE UNTRUE.

Believe in goodness, believe in light, believe in higher reality -- because whatsoever you believe becomes an opening to you. If you don't believe that a higher being than you is possible, then finished, all growth is stopped.

Trusting a Buddha or a Mahavira or a Jesus, Zarathustra, is nothing but opening yourself... the very idea that higher beings than you have existed, walked, lived -

- higher beings are possible. It is not impossible to be a Buddha -- the very notion, and a ray of light enters in your being. And that light starts transforming you. Your very chemistry changes.

Hence all the religions insist on trust, shraddha, faith. It has nothing to do with superstitions, it has nothing to do with theological beliefs. It is just an opening of the heart. If you don't believe, if you insist that roses don't exist, then even if someday you come across a rosebush, you will not believe. You will say, 'There must be some illusion, somebody is playing a trick, or I am in a mirage, or I am dreaming, because roses can't exist.'

In the first place if you don't believe in the existence of roses the very possibility is you may come across them and you may not look at them because we look only at things we believe are possible. We go on passing, indifferent. Whatsoever you believe becomes effective.

I have heard:

It happened in a hospital. A nurse put a screen round a male patient's bed, gave him a specimen bottle and said, 'I will be back in ten minutes for your specimen.'

Then another nurse came and gave the man a glass of orange juice. The man, who was something of a wit, poured the orange juice into the specimen bottle.

When the first nurse came back, she took a look and said, 'This specimen is a little too cloudy.'

'So it is,' agreed the patient. 'I will run it through again and see if I can clean it up.' And as he put the bottle to his lips the nurse fainted.

Just your belief, just the very idea -- what is this man doing? He was simply drinking orange juice. But once you believe a certain thing it becomes effective.

Now the nurse is thinking he is drinking his urine. It is only in her idea -- but ideas are great realities, they change your outlook.

If you are looking for beauty you will find beauty. If you believe beauty does not exist, you may come across it but you will not look for it. You see only that which you are looking for.

Faith, trust, simply means this much -- that we are not the last, we are not the crescendo of existence... higher reality is possible. To believe in a Jesus or a Buddha is simply to believe in your own future, that you can grow. To believe in Buddha is to believe in growth, that there is still something which can happen to you.

That's why in the past centuries people were never as bored as they are today --

because now nothing is possible. You are just in a rut. The more people become materialistic, the more they are bored. You cannot find more bored people than Americans. Now they have everything that down the centuries man has been hankering for, and they are bored to death, because they have no future. And when there is no future there is no meaning.

You have a beautiful car, you have a beautiful house, you have a beautiful job --

so what? The question arises 'so what?' But where are you going? In a rut, moving in the same wheel again and again and again. The same morning, the same evening, the same work, the same money pouring in -- what to do now?

Then people are playing small games just to pass the time, but they know that nothing is going to happen. That creates boredom.

Never in the history of human beings has man been so bored as in this century, because always there was a possibility, always there was an opening into the sky

-- you could have become a Buddha, you could have become a Jesus or a Krishna. You were always growing. You were not in a wheel; there was growth.

Suddenly you are in a wheel in this century -- there is no god.

Nietzsche says, 'God is dead and man is free.' Free for what? -- to be bored. Free not to grow, free to rot, free just somehow to vegetate and die.

Freedom is meaningful only when it brings growth. Freedom means only that there is a possibility to grow -- better flowers are possible in you. Your potentiality has yet a destiny -- that brings meaning, that brings enthusiasm, that brings a thrill. Your life starts throbbing with meaning.

Remember more and more that you are the cause of your misery, you can become the cause of your bliss. You are the cause of the hell you are living in, you can create the heaven also. You alone are responsible and nobody else.

Never try to do harm to anybody because all will fall back on you. If you can do something good, do. If you can help somebody, help. If you can have some compassion, love, let it flow, because that will be coming back. In moments of need you will have something to depend upon, to fall upon.

Love as much as you can, help, and don't be bothered whether the help is paying right now or not. It pays, it pays tremendously. You don't be bothered about the time and the place -- it pays. Someday, whenever you are in need, it rushes towards you. It goes on accumulating.

Mulla Nasrudin kept begging the noted pianist to play. 'Well all right, since you insist,' he said. 'What shall I play?'

'Anything you like,' said Nasrudin. 'It is only to annoy the neighbours.'

People go on doing things like that. They may not be enjoying it at all, but if you can annoy the neighbours it is enough enjoyment for them. This is morbid, but this is how people are. People enjoy torturing, and then when they are tortured they cry and they say that life is very unjust and god is not just!

Buddha says there is no god. He simply drops the possibility of god. So that you cannot throw the responsibility on anyone else he says there is a law, no god, and the law follows its own course. If you follow the law you will be happy, if you don't follow the law you will be unhappy.

He drops the idea of god just to help you, because with a god the possibility remains that we can do something wrong and then we can cry and weep and pray and say, 'I was a fool, but now you save me.'

Before a law you cannot pray, before a law you cannot say, 'I was a fool.' If you were a fool you have to suffer, because the law is not a person. It is absolutely indifferent, it simply follows its own course.

If you fall on the ground and your bones are broken and you have many fractures, you don't go and tell the law of gravitation, 'Don't be so much against me. You could have at least given me one warning. Why did you get so angry?'

No, you never talk about the law of gravitation, because you know if you follow rightly it is protective. Without the law of gravitation you will not be here on the earth, you will be floating in the sky. You cannot stand on the earth. The law of gravitation keeps you on the earth, it is your very root. Without it you will not be here. It allows you to walk, it allows you to be. But if you do something wrong, then punishment.

But the law does not punish you, it does not reward you. It has nothing to do with you personally. You punish yourself, you reward yourself. Follow the law and you reward yourself. Don't follow the law, disobey the law and you are a victim, you suffer.

Buddha calls the law dhamma -- that is his god. He takes personality out of it, because with personality man has created too much trouble. Then Jews think that they are the chosen people of god, so he is going to be a little lenient with them.

This is nonsense.

Christians think they are the chosen people of god because he sent 'his only begotten son' to save them, so whosoever follows Jesus will be saved. But that seems like nepotism -- because you are related to Jesus and he is the son of god.

It seems like indian government officials, politicians. You are related. This is nonsense.

I have heard that when the Japanese were defeated a japanese general was talking to an english general and the japanese general said, 'We cannot understand why we were defeated, how we were defeated.'

The english general said, 'You don't know. We believe in god and we pray. Every day we start fighting, we pray first.'

But the japanese man said, 'We also do that. We also believe in god and we also pray.'

The english man laughed. He said, 'But have you ever thought about it? God does not understand Japanese.'

Buddha takes all personality out of god. Then there is no need for him to understand Japanese, English,Hebrew, Sanskrit. Hindus say that Sanskrit is his bona fide language -- DEVAVANI, god's own language. All other languages are just human, Sanskrit is divine. But this foolishness exists all over the world.

Buddha takes the very base out. He says god is not a person, it is a law. Follow it, obey it, and you reward yourself. Don't follow it and you suffer.

THUS THE WISE WILL NEVER BE HURT BUT THE CURSE IS SURE TO

DESTROY THE EVIL-DOERS THEMSELVES.

So remember it as a fundamental rule that whatsoever you do to others you are really doing to yourself -- whatsoever, I say, you do to others you are doing it to yourself. So watch out.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IF YOU ENDEAVOUR TO EMBRACE THE WAY THROUGH MUCH

LEARNING, THE WAY WILL NOT BE UNDERSTOOD. IF YOU OBSERVE THE

WAY WITH SIMPLICITY OF HEART, GREAT INDEED IS THIS WAY.

This way, this dhamma, this law, this ultimate law of life, cannot be understood by learning, by knowledge, by reading scriptures and memorising philosophies.

You have to live it to know it. The only way to know is to live it. The only way to know is existential, it is not intellectual.

I have heard a very famous anecdote:

Years ago word spread through academic communities about a young scholar at a talmudic college in Poland. He was hailed for his great learning and his concentration on his studies. Visitors came away deeply impressed by the young man.

One day an outstanding talmudic authority called and asked the head of the college about the young man. 'Does this young man really know so much?'

'Truly,' answered the old rabbi with a smile, 'I don't know. The young man studies so much that I cannot understand how he could fine time to know.'

If you are too much engaged with your intellect you will not find time to be engaged with your total being. If you are too much in your head you will miss much that is available. The way can be known only if you deeply participate with existence. It cannot be understood from the outside, you have to become a participant.

Just a few days back, a professor of psychology was here. He teaches in Chicago.

He is an Indian, lives in America. He had come -- he has been writing to me for almost two years: 'I am coming, I am coming.' Then he came, and he wanted to know about meditation. For ten, twelve days he was here and he watched others meditating, and he said, 'I am watching.'

But how can you watch meditation? You can meditate, that is the only way to know about it. You can see a meditator from the outside -- that he is dancing, or that he is standing silent, or that yes, he is sitting -- but what are you going to know about it?

Meditation is not sitting, meditation is not dancing, meditation is not standing still. Meditation is something happening is his very being, deep inside. You cannot observe it, there cannot be any objective knowledge about it.

I told him, 'If you really want to see -- dance.'

He said, 'First I have to see, first I have to convince myself that it is something, only then will I do.'

Then I said, 'If you stick to your condition you will never do. Because the only way to know is to do it, and you say you will do only when you have known it.

Then it is impossible. You are putting such an impossible condition that it will never happen.'

It is as if somebody says, 'I will love only when I have known what love is.' But how can you know love without loving? You can watch two lovers holding each other's hands, but that is not love. Even two enemies can hold hands. Even while two persons are holding hands they may not be in love, they may be just pretending. Even if you see two persons making love to each other, there may be no love. It may be something else; it may be just sex, no love. There is no way to know about love from the outside. There are things which are only allowed to be revealed to you when you become an insider.

BUDDHA SAYS:

IF YOU ENDEAVOUR TO EMBRACE THE WAY THROUGH MUCH

LEARNING, THE WAY WILL NOT BE UNDERSTOOD.

There are things which can be understood by learning -- they are outside things, objective things. That is the difference between science and religion. Science needs no subjective experience. You can remain outside and watch; it is an objective approach towards truth.

Religion is a subjective approach. You have to go in, withinwards; it is introspective. You have to dive deep within your own being. Only then can you know. Only from your own center will you be able to understand what the way is, what the dhamma is -- or call it what god is -- but you will have to participate.

You can know god only by becoming a god, there is no other way. You can know love only by becoming a lover. And if you think that it is very risky without knowing -- and going into love IS risky -- then you will remain without love, you will remain a desert.

Yes, life is risk, and one should be courageous enough to take risks. One should not always be calculating. If you go on just calculating your whole life, you will miss all. Take risks, be courageous.

There is only one way to live and that is to live dangerously. And this is the danger -- that one has to move without knowing, one has to move in the unknown. Hence, trust is needed.

BUDDHA SAYS:

IF YOU ENDEAVOUR TO EMBRACE THE WAY THROUGH MUCH

LEARNING, THE WAY WILL NOT BE UNDERSTOOD.

You can see it. You can look at scholars, great scholars, and somehow you will find they are missing. They may know much about the Veda, the Bible, the Koran, they can recite, but you can see there is no radiance in their eyes. Yes, much dust that they have gathered from scriptures, much smoke that they have gathered through knowledge. They are well-informed -- but almost dead. They have missed life somehow, they could not find time to know what life is.

I have heard:

A great scholar and a clergyman, a pundit, stopped in a pet shop and asked the price of a parrot. The shopkeeper said he would not sell him that parrot because all it did was utter profanity. 'But,' said the shopkeeper, 'I have another parrot coming in from South America. When I get it trained I will phone you to pick it up.'

Several months later the pundit, the great scholar, was told to stop by and see the parrot the storekeeper had for him. The shop-keeper ushered the pundit into a backroom where the parrot was perched with a string on each foot. The proprietor pulled the string on the right foot and the bird recited 'The Lord's Prayer' from beginning to end.

'This is wonderful and edifying!' exclaimed the preacher, the pundit -- that's what he himself had been doing his whole life. Then he pulled the string on the left foot and the parrot burst into 'Nearer My God to Thee'. 'This is tremendous!'

cried the preacher. 'Now tell me, what would happen if I pulled both strings at the same time?' Before the shopkeeper could reply the parrot said, 'You damned fool! I would fall on my ass!'

It is simple, even a parrot knows it, but a pundit -- he is worse than a parrot. He simply lives in ideas, he lives in logic, he lives a verbal life. He has forgotten real roses, he is only acquainted with the word 'rose'. He has forgotten real life, he only knows the word 'life'. Remember, the word 'life' is not life, the word 'love' is not love, the word 'god' is not god. The real life is an existence, is an experience.

It happened:

A recent graduate from agriculture school was making a governmental inspection of a farmer's land and stock. He told them he was making an appraisal so that the government could help the farmer get out of the red. So he inspected everything, making careful notes in his neat little notebook. When he thought he had everything listed he saw an animal stick its head around the side of a barn.'What is that thing? And what is it for?' asked the young man. It was an old goat, but the farmer was not going to help the all-wise young inspector. 'You are the expert,' said the farmer. 'You tell me.'

Now it was very difficult. He had never seen such a thing. He had been learning in the university, he knew everything about agriculture, but he had never done anything. He had no experience. He had never come across such an animal as a goat. Consequently the young man sent off a wire to New Delhi asking them to identify for him 'a long, lean object with a bald head, chin whiskers, an empty lean stomach, a long sad face, and cadaverous eyes'. The next day he got a reply from the secretary of agriculture: 'You blithering idiot! That is the farmer!'

Remember, the head can be very disconnective; it can disconnect you from life.

Use the head but don't be confined to it. Use your intellect to approach existence, don't make a barrier out of it.

IF YOU ENDEAVOUR TO EMBRACE THE WAY THROUGH MUCH

LEARNING, THE WAY WILL NOT BE UNDERSTOOD. IF YOU OBSERVE THE

WAY WITH SIMPLICITY OF HEART, GREAT INDEED IS THIS WAY.

WITH SIMPLICITY OF THE HEART.... Life can be known only with a simple heart. Head is very complex and life is very simple. It is difficult from a complex head to understand the simple life. Life is simply simple. You have also to be simple.

A child understands more. He has a rapport with life. A poet understands more.

He has a rapport. A mystic understands more -- tremendously deep and profound is his understanding because he puts his head completely away. He looks through the eyes of a child, he approaches with wonder, awe.

He is surprised at every step. He has no ideas, no fixed ideas to project. He has no prejudices: he is neither a Hindu, nor a Mohammedan, nor a Christian. He simply is. He has a throbbing heart, a loving heart. That is enough requirement to know what life is.

GREAT THEN INDEED IS THIS WAY... known -- known through the heart.

Better to call it felt -- felt through the heart.

Life is very simple. Just sometimes put your head away, sometimes behead yourself, sometimes look with no clouds in the eyes -- just look. Sometimes sit by the side of a tree -- just feel. By the side of a waterfall -- listen. Lie down on the beach and listen to the roar of the ocean, feel the sand, the coolness of it, or look at the stars, and let that silence penetrate you. Or look at the dark night and let that velvety darkness surround you, envelop you, dissolve you. This is the way of the simple heart.

If you approach life through this simplicity you will become wise. You may not know the Veda, you may not know the Bible, you may not know the Gita, but you will come to know the real song of life -- and that is where the real Gita is, the real song is. You may not know the Veda, but you will come to know the real Veda -- that which is written by god himself.

This life is his book, this life is his Bible, this life is his Koran. Recite it! Recite this life. Sing it, dance it, be in love with it -- and by and by you will know what the way is, because by and by you will become more and more happy. The more happy you become, the more you are acquainted with the way, the right way.

And whenever a step goes out of line, immediately you feel pain.

Pain is an indication that you have missed the law, and happiness is an indication that you have been in harmony. Happiness is a by-product. If you go in accordance with the law you are happy. Unhappiness is an accident. It simply shows you have gone far away from the law.

Make happiness and unhappiness your criterion. That's why I go on saying that I am a hedonist. In fact Buddha is a hedonist, Mahavir is a hedonist, Krishna is a hedonist, Mohammed is a hedonist, because they all want you to become tremendously happy. And they show you the path.

The path is: become simple, trust more, doubt a little less. If you really want to doubt, doubt doubt, that's all. Doubt doubt; trust trust -- and you will never miss.

THOSE WHO REJOICE IN SEEING OTHERS OBSERVE THE WAY WILL

OBTAIN GREAT BLESSING.

And Buddha says not only those who follow the way are benefited, but even those who rejoice in seeing others following the way, they are tremendously blessed.

Yes, it is so. Because by rejoicing that so many people are moving towards meditation...'Good -- I have not been moving yet, I have not yet gathered courage, but so many people are moving -- good'... even this will make you happy because this Will open your doors.

You are not condemning them, you are not saying that meditation is impossible.

You say, 'It is possible -- I am not yet courageous enough, but you are going on the way -- go happily! My congratulations for you, my greetings! One day I hope also to come and follow you.'

Buddha says if you greet a sannyasin you have greeted your future. If you see somebody moving on the path and you feel happy, tremendously happy --

knowing well that you are not following on the path, you are yet not ready for it, but you don't condemn the man, in fact you rejoice, you help him to go on the path -- you have started following on the path.

That's what I said in the beginning to you: in life whenever you hear somebody has become a sannyasin, don't start condemning him -- rejoice. When somebody has started meditating, don't condemn him that he has gone mad or something --

rejoice. By your rejoicing you are bringing your own meditative possibilities closer to you. By rejoiCing you have taken sannyas in a deeper way. Inside it has happened, outside it will come. That is not so important either.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

THOSE WHO REJOICE IN SEEING OTHERS OBSERVE THE WAY WILL

OBTAIN GREAT BLESSING.

That's why in this country a sannyasin has always been respected tremendously.

Even sometimes one who is just wearing an orange robe and is not a sannyasin at all -- even he is respected. Because who are we to decide whether he is a true sannyasin or not? Buddha says, 'Rejoice!"

I have heard an old story:

A man who was a great robber robbed the palace of the king, and by the time he was escaping it was known, so guards followed him. He was in tremendous danger. He came to the bank of a river and the horses of the soldiers were following and he could hear the noise that was approaching close, and the river was big and there was no bridge. He was afraid, and it was a cold night -- so what to do?

Seeing nothing, no possibility, he saw a sannyasin sitting under a tree. He threw off his clothes, became naked, closed his eyes, started meditating -- of course, pretending, because he had never known what meditation is. But you can pretend, you can close your eyes, you can sit in a padmasana, in the lotus posture. He closed his eyes.

The guards came, the police arrived. There was nobody, just these two sannyasins. They touched their feet. The man inside started feeling very very guilty. 'This is not good,' he thought. 'I am a thief, a robber, and these people are touching my feet. And I am just a pseudo-sannyasin. And if so much respect is given to a pseudo-sannyasin, what will happen if I really become a sannyasin?' A ray of light entered into his life. He dropped his old ways, he became a sannyasin.

His fame spread. One day even the king came to touch his feet. And the king asked him, 'How did it happen to you? How did you renounce the world? I also hope, dream, that one day that great blessing will shower on me, god will give me courage to renounce everything. How did you renounce, sir? Tell me your story. That will give me courage.'

The ex-robber started laughing. He said, 'I will tell you. You helped me much --

your soldiers following me.'

The king said, 'What do you mean?' Then he told the whole story. He said, 'And when I saw that a pseudo-sannyasin like me -- a robber, a murderer -- can be respected, suddenly it became impossible for me to go back to my old ways. And I felt so beautiful when they touched my feet. I had never felt that before. It was such a beautiful moment. And since then I have been meditating, and since then I have really renounced the world, and I am tremendously happy. I have arrived home.'

Buddha says even those who rejoice seeing others observe the law.... Never condemn -- even if sometimes it is possible; it is always possible. When there are real. coins there are bound to be counterfeit coins also. When so much respect is given to sannyasins, there are bound to be people who will be deceiving. But that is not the point. What can they deceive? What can they cheat? What have you got? But rejoice.

A SHRAMANA ASKED THE BUDDHA: 'WILL THIS BLESSING EVER BE

DESTROYED?'

Will it be just a temporary thing if we rejoice in others being in meditation? The shramana has heard, he knows that if you meditate you attain to eternal bliss --

but just by rejoicing because others are reaching... WOULD THIS BLESSING

EVER BE DESTROYED?

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IT IS LIKE A LIGHTED TORCH WHOSE FLAME CAN BE DISTRIBUTED TO

EVER SO MANY OTHER TORCHES WHICH PEOPLE MAY BRING ALONG.

AND THEREWITH THEY WILL COOK FOOD AND DISPEL DARKNESS, WHILE THE ORIGINAL TORCH ITSELF REMAINS BURNING EVER THE

SAME. IT IS EVEN SO WITH THE BLISS OF THE WAY.

Buddha is saying those who follow the way, they become blissful, but even those who simply rejoice seeing so many people following the way, they also become blissful. And not only temporarily, not only momentarily -- their bliss is also eternal. In fact, by their very rejoicing they have become fellow-travellers. Deep inside they have gone on the journey; the outside will follow -- that is not the basic point.

But when you condemn those who are following the path, when you condemn those who are praying, meditating, when you condemn those who are somehow trying to feel and grope in the dark for the way, you are condemning yourself.

You are cursing yourself. Your doors will be closed, your potentiality will remain a potentiality, will never be actualized.

You are like a seed, and if somebody has flowered and bloomed, rejoice. In that very rejoicing you will start sprouting. Don't say that there are no flowers because they have not happened to you. If you say there are no flowers because they have not happened to you so how can they happen to anybody else....

Friedrich Nietzsche says the same thing. He says, 'How can there be any god? If there is any god then I am the god. If I am not, there cannot be any god. How can I tolerate the idea that somebody else is a god? Impossible, I cannot allow this idea.' He says, 'God is dead, god does not exist.'

But then man is left in the limbo. Then there is no way to go up. Then you can go on growing old, but you never grow up, you never become a grown-up.

Remember it! Growing old is not grow-ing up. Growing up means exactly what it says -- growing up, growing upwards. Growing old is horizontal, growing up is vertical.

Growing up means growing up like a tree. Growing old is like a river -- it remains horizontal, it does not change its level, it doesn't change its plane.

If somebody else is growing up, rejoice, celebrate. At least one human being has become a Buddha. Good -- he has shown the path. In fact, in him all human beings have become Buddhas in essence, because whatsoever can happen to one human being can happen to every other human being.

We may not become Buddhas for lives together, but that doesn't matter. One man has become a Buddha -- he has shown the possibility. Maybe we have to wait long, but we can wait because the morning is coming closer. It has to come; it has come to one, it will come to us also. It is dark and the night is very long, but now there is hope.

Rejoicing with a Buddha is creating hope for yourself. Then your life is no more hopeless. A hopeless life is a bored life, and a hopeful life, the very possibility...

maybe it will happen after many many lives; that doesn't matter, one can wait --

but one can wait with hope.

IT IS LIKE A LIGHTED TORCH WHOSE FLAME CAN BE DISTRIBUTED TO

EVER SO MANY OTHER TORCHES WHICH PEOPLE MAY BRING ALONG.

AND THEREWITH THEY WILL COOK FOOD AND DISPEL DARKNESS

WHILE THE ORIGINAL TORCH ITSELF REMAINS BURNING EVER THE

SAME. IT IS EVEN SO WITH BLISS OF THE WAY.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #8

Chapter title: Sincerity in the search

28 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

Question 1

YOU TOLD US TO REJOICE WHENEVER WE SEE OTHER PEOPLE

BECOMING SINCERE SEEKERS, AND IT IS INDEED A MOVING

EXPERIENCE TO SEE NEW PEOPLE BECOME SANNYASINS AND BEGIN TO

MEDITATE. BUT HOW ARE WE TO FEEL WHEN WE SEE REALLY

BEAUTIFUL, SINCERE YOUNG PEOPLE GIVING UP EVERYTHING TO

FOLLOW DESTRUCTIVE, FALSE, SO-CALLED MESSIAHS WHO ARE ONLY

USING THESE FOLLOWERS FOR THEIR OWN MATERIAL AND POLITICAL

GAIN?

I AM THINKING OF A MAN NAMED MOON WHO IS GAINING MORE AND

MORE ADHERENTS EVERY DAY. HE IS ALSO MAKING MORE AND MORE

ENEMIES IN THE WEST, WHO CRITICIZE HIM AND HIS METHODS MOST

VEHEMENTLY. BUT HIS POOR BLIND DISCIPLES USE THIS PERSECUTION

AS PROOF THAT HE IS A NEW JESUS.

IT IS A VERY COMPLICATED PHENOMENON and you will have to be very subtle about it. The first thing -- it is none of your business. If somebody follows Moon or Muktananda it is none of your business. You should not have any attitude about it, because who are you to decide? Whether Moon is right or wrong, how can you decide? And why should you decide? You are not following him. You should keep out of it. Because there is no way to decide from the outside.

The same thing was said really against Jesus also. And the people who were against Jesus, they were also saying the same thing to people: 'Why are you going with this man? He is a false messiah.' That's what Jews were saying against Jesus. They still say -- they may not say loudly because they have been forced to be silent, crushed down the centuries, but they still say. Who is going to decide?

And how?

The same people are saying against me -- you following me. People will say that you have fallen into the hands of a dangerous man. He has brainwashed you, he has destroyed you, you are hypnotized, and so on, so forth.

So the first thing is, never be concerned about these things. Don't waste your time. If somebody feels good to be with Moon, it is his business to decide. And you say 'sincere, beautiful people...' If they are really sincere they will understand sooner or later that this messiah is false. If their sincerity cannot reveal to them the falsity of their messiah, then who is going to reveal? So let them go wholeheartedly. If they are moving with a wrong person, sooner or later they will realize. And if they don't realize, then too it is for them to choose.

In fact, the more you criticize Moon and others, the more you make it impossible for the disciples to see themselves. The more you criticize, the more they become defensive.

And logic is a double-edged sword. When you start being too much against, then Moon says, 'Look, the same happened to Jesus, the same is happening to me.

People are against me. It has always happened to great prophets that people are against them.' By your being against him you are proving that he is important, you are giving him too much significance.

If Jews had not bothered about Jesus, there may not have been any Christianity.

I'm not saying that Jesus was wrong or right, I'm simply saying there would not have been any Christianity. But too much against him created a defensive attitude in his followers. They started fighting, arguing.

Be indifferent. If you cannot rejoice then do at least one thing -- be indifferent. If you can rejoice, good.

Somebody who is following Moon at least is seeking -- maybe seeking in wrong directions, maybe -- but still seeking. Better than those people who are not seeking. Rejoice. Moving with a wrong person, but moving. Groping in the dark, far away from the door, but groping. Better than those who are sitting in the dark and not groping at all. Better than Christians, Hindus, Mohammedans, Jains, Buddhists, who are just sitting silently. Their groping has stopped. They think they have found.

Just by birth you become a Christian. Christianity is not your choice -- just an accident by birth. Just by birth you have become a Hindu. It is better at least that somebody is trying to move on his own. There is danger, but the whole life is danger.

It is better to be a follower of Moon, alive, than to be a follower of a dead Christ.

And I am not saying that he is right or wrong -- he may be wrong -- but at least the person has the courage to follow, to choose. If he is wrong, sooner or later his own experience will prove it -- that he is wrong. But those people who are simply sitting in the darkness, they will never come to know whether they are wrong or right. The real trouble is with these people.

You have taken it for granted that you are a Christian. How can you be a Christian? There were only a few Christians who followed Jesus alive. They risked their life. The greatest risk was this: that there was no way to decide whether they were following the right person or wrong -- that was their greatest risk. Had they been with the old church -- if they had remained Jews there was no risk. Things were settled by the tradition. For centuries down, everything was settled, every dogma was settled.

These people started looking for themselves; they were trying to open their eyes.

I am not worried whether Jesus was right or wrong, but I say these people are more alive people.

Yes, even with a Muktananda it is good to move. And if you are a sincere seeker, how long can Muktananda or Moon deceive you? How long? Your sincerity is your only protection, nothing else. Go on -- one has to grope long, one has to knock on many doors before one comes to the right door. There is no other way.

So don't criticize. There is no need; it is none of your concern. If you want to follow Moon, then you have to think about it. Others are following -- let them think. Why should you take their responsibility? Why should you have any power over others? If somebody decides to follow a fool, that's his decision --

and he has the freedom to follow the fool. Forced -- even if you are following the greatest wise man in the world, a Buddha -- then too it is ugly, because it kills your freedom. With your own choice if you follow a fool, it is beautiful.

My emphasis is on your freedom. And people who are against Moon, why are they against Moon? The same reason why people were against Jesus -- because if Moon's influence grows then more and more Christians will be disappearing.

They will become 'Moonites'.

These people are against Bhaktivedanta, the Hare Krishna movement leader, because more and more people are becoming Hindus; Christians are disappearing. These people are against Maharishi Mahesh Yogi because more and more people are dropping their christian prayer and starting TM. The same happens everywhere.

Here people are against me because if you come with me, by and by you will not be a Parsee, and you will not be a Hindu, and you will not be a Christian -- you will become a pure human being, a simple human being with no adjectives.

So those who live with the adjectives, how can they just watch it? They are afraid, their establishment is eroding. They will try in every way. But I will suggest to them that if they really want that no one should come to me, they should remain indifferent.

The more they are against me, the more they make me important. Their very against-ness helps many people to become interested in me. The best way for them will be not to be bothered by me, be indifferent. Let people come and let people find. If they find more nourishment with me than they were finding in their old church, in their temple, in their mosque, then it is for them to choose. If they don't find any nourishment with me, they move away, they go on searching.

But if people are against me then you start becoming defensive. Then your eyes become dogmatic, then you are in an arguing mood. You have to prove somehow that your master is right and is the only true master in the world. Then even if sometimes you see flaws in me, errors, mistakes, you bypass them. How can your master have any mistake, flaw in his life? -- impossible. And you go on hiding. And by and by you become almost determined by the people who are against me. They talk against me, you have to talk for me. They help me in a way.

This is my suggestion: there is no need to be worried -- the world is vast, and everybody is free to choose, should be free to choose. If somebody feels that he is attaining something with Moon -- and Moon may be wrong, as far as I know he is wrong -- but even then if somebody follows him I am not going to distract the person. This is my attitude -- that he is wrong. Even if he is wrong somebody may be benefited by him. Life is very mysterious -- you learn by your errors also.

I know many people, like Muktananda, who have nothing to give. It is a miracle that Muktananda can also become a guru. But still if somebody is following Muktananda, I will not say don't follow him. I will say go headlong. Because that is the only way to find out, to figure it out. I will say, 'Go headlong with open eyes; maybe this is how your life is going to grow.' Nothing is wrong in it. Why be so much afraid?

One learns from fools as much as from wise people, and one learns from pseudo-gurus as much as from authentic gurus. They are part of one phenomenon. In fact, you get that which you deserve. Now there are a few people who deserve Muktananda. What to do? They have earned Muktananda through their lives; many lives of karmas and they have earned Muktananda. Now who am I or who are you to prevent them? Why? They deserve, that is their growth, they have to pass through it.

One day Mulla Nasrudin came to me and he was very much worried and he said, 'I would like to become a guru myself.'

I was intrigued. I said, 'There are good opportunities. Why not? You try.'

He said, 'Yes, that's what I'm thinking. If Muktananda of Ganeshpuri can become a guru, why not I?' And then he said, 'Osho, there is one request. You supply me with my first disciple.'

A man was sitting by the side who suffers from an inferiority complex and he has seen psychoanalysts -- Freudians, Jungians, Adlerians -- and he has defeated all of them, and he goes on suffering with inferiority complex. In fact he has become more skilled in it. The more he has been psychoanalysed, the more he has become skilful about it. In fact, he is enjoying it.

So I told Nasrudin, 'You take this man. Try -- this man suffers from inferiority complex.' Nasrudin took him away, sat with him, looked into his eyes, meditated a little, closed his eyes, and then told him finally, 'I have good news for you. You have no inferiority complex, you really are inferior.'

Now there are people who really are inferior. They deserve Muktanandas, Moons, and that type of people. There are stupid people. What to do? Stupid gurus are also needed. Stupid gurus cannot disappear from the world unless stupid people disappear. It is a subtle economic law. Your demand has to be fulfilled, somebody from somewhere has to supply goods that you need.

People think as if it is only just Moon or people who are exploiting. No, you want to be exploited, you cannot rest unless you are exploited. People think that followers are innocent. This is nonsense! You cannot exploit an innocent man.

They are cunning, the followers are cunning -- then they are exploited by more cunning people. An innocent person cannot be exploited by a cunning person, because innocence is so pure; in that purity he will immediately see that this whole thing is nonsense. You cannot exploit an innocent person, you can exploit only a cunning person.

I was staying in a town. Mulla Nasrudin deceived somebody. He said he could double rupees just by magic, and he showed the trick. He doubled a one hundred rupee note. It was just a trick but the person was impressed. So the person brought all, whatsoever he had. He was not a very rich man, but whatsoever he had -- ornaments, gold, precious stones, money -- whatsoever he had he put before Nasrudin. Then he played the game and he disappeared with the whole lot.

Now the man came to me and said, 'Why do you allow such cunning people with you?' I said, 'You are cunning -- that's why he could exploit you. You wanted your money to be doubled without any effort -- that's why he could exploit you. If you were innocent, how could you be exploited? Your logic and his logic were not different. What were you expecting from him? He exploited your greed. He exploited because you were ready to be exploited. Can't you see the whole nonsense of it?' I told him, 'If it is in my power, then I will send you both to the jail, because you are a participant. He alone is not responsible. In fact, his responsibility is secondary to you. If you were not ready how could he exploit you?'

So don't call those people sincere, innocent, who are exploited by cunning people. No, they must have some cunningness in themselves; they must be looking for shortcuts, for nirvana. Then anybody can exploit you.

Somebody comes and says, 'This will do. Just a mantra -- you have to repeat it twenty minutes in the morning, twenty minutes in the evening, and you will attain to perfect bliss.' Now he is delivering something so cheap -- you call it Transcendental Meditation or something, whatsoever you want -- and if he asks a hundred dollar fee what is wrong in it? And you say this man is exploiting. He is not exploiting your innocence; innocence cannot be exploited. An innocent man will understand -- 'How is it possible? Just by uttering "Rama, Rama, Rama", twenty minutes in the morning and evening and you become enlightened?'

Be reasonable, and if you are unreasonable and he asks a hundred dollar fee, he is asking simply something that fits with your logic. And you pay the hundred dollar fee, and then you think that he has been exploiting you!

Nobody can exploit you unless you are ready to be exploited, nobody can deceive you unless you are ready to be deceived. The responsibility is yours, so be alert, be reasonable. Don't be a fool, otherwise somebody is bound to --

somebody is bound to become your guru. And then don't go on shouting and crying and making a fuss about it that you have been exploited. You wanted to go to nirvana very cheap.

Always remember -- you fall into bondage because you want to become a slave.

You cannot remain free, that's why you fall into a sort of bondage. But it is you, otherwise nobody can imprison you. You are afraid of freedom, you are afraid of growing, you are afraid of facing life as it is.

So from somewhere or other, sometimes from Korea -- Moon comes from Korea; sometimes from India -- Muktananda comes from India; sometimes from Japan...

and of course these people have to come from the East because the East has the credit of being religious, spiritual.

Just in the same way, if an engineer comes from Germany he has more prestige in India; a doctor comes from England, he has more prestige in India. The indian doctor may be as educated as the english doctor, but the english doctor has prestige -- he comes from the world of science, he has an aura. It is just as if you have a watch, an indian-made watch, HMT watch -- it is an ordinary watch, made in India. If you have a swiss-made watch, it has an aura: imported.

The same happens as far as religion is concerned. In America you need imported gurus and India has nothing else to export. So we are exporting in bulk. They carry an aura.

Here it is difficult for them to find disciples. But they come from the East, the world of the rising sun, they come from the fabulous East, the land of Buddhas, Mahaviras, Krishnas -- they carry an aura. Just very ordinary people with no talent, with no genius, with no intelligence, but they can just sit there and things start happening. And then you think they are doing something.

You are hankering that something must happen to you and nothing is happening. The West is very much bored; something should happen. Now you have everything that you always needed, desired; all material things are there.

Now for the first time the West is becoming aware that something spiritual is needed, a spiritual need is being felt.

It always happens -- whenever a society becomes very rich and affluent, only then the religious need is felt. A poor country cannot become religious howsoever it may pretend. It has never been so, it cannot be.

I am not saying that a poor man cannot become religious. Individuals can be exceptions -- a Kabir, a Nanak -- but poor societies cannot be religious; their basic needs are unfulfilled. Religion is a very high need.

It is as if you are hungry: who thinks in that moment of listening to beautiful music? When you are hungry you need bread, you don't need music. Beethoven won't do, Mozart is meaningless when you are hungry. When you are hungry, starved, naked, what to do with Shakespeare, Goethe, Kalidas? -- it makes no sense.

When your basic needs are fulfilled -- your body is healthy, you have a hygienic world to live in, a good house, good clothes, good food, nourished -- suddenly you feel that you need something of the aesthetic world -- music, art, poetry. You become interested in Picasso and Van Gogh, and you become interested in Pablo Neruda -- and a thousand doors open.

When your aesthetic needs are also fulfilled, when you are getting bored by Beethoven also, Mozart also, then suddenly another door opens -- the door of the Buddha, Krishna, Christ. That is the highest need. When every lower need is fulfilled then spirituality arises.

The West has fulfilled its lower needs. Now suddenly a desire has possessed it; a passion for the ultimate is being felt all over the West, particularly in the new generation -- a tremor, a longing for the unknown. It is a very critical moment.

In this moment there will be many people who will exploit this need, because the West is like a child -- a child in the world of spirit. They don't know what is what. They just have a need, that's all they know. And whosoever comes and says, 'I can fulfill your need,' whosoever is clever enough at least to pretend, you will follow him. But this is natural.

Sooner or later you will be finished with Moons and Muktanandas. Because sooner or later you will see that they promise but they never deliver. How long can this go on? And then only will you become interested in true masters --

Krishnamurti or Gurdjieff or Raman. Then you will start getting interested.

But this is natural. In the beginning it has to be so. You don't know what real roses are, so people who bring paper roses and plastic roses -- you don't know what real roses are, you don't have any comparison -- you simply purchase them.

But how long can it go on?

That's why I decided not to go to the West. Right now it is a supermarket. And there are so many people standing on their soap-boxes and shouting and selling and advertising, that it is futile. I decided rather to wait here because people who have been with Moon, with Muktananda, with this and that, and are finished, and have come to know that these people have nothing to give, are bound to come towards the East in search. I decided to wait for them here, not to go there.

Because when a seeker comes, travelling so far, then his desire is very authentic, then he is risking much. He is risking his whole life.

And it is better that he should have passed through the super-market, so he knows. If sometimes somebody comes to me directly I am not much interested in him because I know it is better he should pass through the right channel --

Muktananda, Moon, etc. When he passes through all of them and then he comes to me, there is a sudden contact, an immediate contact.

So in a way they help. Here are many people who have been in all sorts of movements in the West. This is good, a good training. You have some background, you have a certain gestalt, to judge.

So the first thing... YOU TOLD US TO REJOICE WHENEVER WE SEE OTHER

PEOPLE BECOMING SINCERE SEEKERS, AND IT IS INDEED A MOVING

EXPERIENCE TO SEE NEW PEOPLE BECOME SANNYASINS AND BEGIN TO

MEDITATE. BUT HOW ARE WE TO FEEL WHEN WE SEE REALLY

BEAUTIFUL, SINCERE PEOPLE GIVING UP EVERYTHING TO FOLLOW

DESTRUCTIVE, FALSE, SO-CALLED MESSIAHS WHO ARE ONLY USING

THESE FOLLOWERS FOR THEIR OWN MATERIAL AND POLITICAL GAIN?

Let them go. Help them to go there. Tell them to go to the very end. Sincerity, their search -- if it is true they will come out, and they will come out more mature, less childish. They will come out more experienced. Nothing to be worried.

Never prevent anybody if he is really going somewhere. Let him go. There is only one way to learn and that is through experience; there is no other way. And if you think that he may be lost, then he deserves to be lost, then that is what he needs right now.

Nothing happens without your deserving it. Whatsoever happens you deserve it.

Nobody can exploit you unless you were in need to be exploited. Nobody can make you a slave unless you were ready to become a slave and you were afraid of freedom. Nothing happens to you for which you were not hankering, for which you were not desiring, consciously or unconsciously. So it is your life and it is your freedom.

It happened one night, the phone rang at four a.m. 'What do you want?' I shouted into the instrument. 'Nothing,' was the reply.

'Then why did you call me in the middle of the night?'

'Because the rate is cheaper.'

That's why I stopped keeping the phone in my room since then, because there are absurd people. Because the rate is cheaper -- that may be the only reason they phone in the middle of the night.

You go with Moon because the rate is very cheap. You go with Muktananda because the rate is very cheap. What do I mean? I mean they promise you something and they don't ask you to be transformed. The rate is very cheap.

They say god can happen to you without any change on your part; just do this mantra for twenty minutes.

When you come to me it is not a question of twenty minutes, it is a question of your whole life. You have to change from the very roots. I ask for a radical change. You have to drop your old values, your old morality, your old concepts, your old world view.

You have to almost die with your past, only then your future starts sprouting. I ask you to be crucified so that you can be resurrected. I am like a death, and that is what the meaning of sannyas is -- you die in me and a totally new person is born.

I'm not saying that your life will become easy. No, it may become more difficult.

I'm not promising you rose gardens. One thing only I can promise and that is if you are ready to take the risk, there may be many more difficulties, but you will start growing. I can only promise growth. Growth is always hard, painful; you have to destroy and dismantle many things in you, and you have to learn new ways of being, new styles of life. It is painful.

I don't say you will become rich, as Maharishi Mahesh Yogi says: 'If you meditate you will become successful, you will become rich.' I don't say that. In fact you may become more of a failure if you go with me. And you may never be rich if you go with me. Because if you go with me you will become less and less ambitious. If you go with me you will become less and less aggressive, less and less violent.

Ambition is violence, the very effort to succeed in the world is violent. You may be a loser as far as the outside world is concerned. I cannot say anything about it.

You may turn out to be just a beggar. But one thing I can say: you will be growing in, you will be enriched within, you will become more blissful. I don't say more successful, I say more blissful. You will become more restful, you will be more relaxed. But I don't say that you will have money and success and things like that.

With me you will have to lose much, and with me the gain will be so inner that only you will know and nobody else will know. So you cannot exhibit it, you cannot show it to anybody. The gain is going to be very inner and very subtle and the loss is going to be very gross and very outer. Everybody will know that you are losing.

Just the other night one indian sannyasin came and said, 'My whole ambition is gone and I am becoming indifferent to all success. I don't even feel like struggling any more. I want to be in a deep let-go.' I said, 'Perfectly good. That's how it should be.'

He was disturbed about one thing. He said, 'But something is happening, and that is I am not even interested in meditation any more. I feel happy, silent, but I am not interested in meditation any more.' I said, 'That's what one should expect finally -- drop that too.'

About this he was a little puzzled -- whether to drop meditation or not -- because only through meditation has he come up to this point where he is feeling at home... so much so that all his desiring is disappearing. He wanted to cling to meditation. When I said, 'Drop that too,' his last barrier was broken.

Now if you look at this person it will be difficult for you to see what is happening. In fact he may have looked more radiant to you before than he will look right now, because now he is so silent, his whole energy is so silent. You will not find him laughing; at the most he can smile -- in fact that too he will have to do by an effort. Not because he is unhappy, he is simply happy.

You laugh because of unhappiness. Twenty-four hours of unhappiness, you gather unhappiness, then you have to do something to get out of it -- you laugh.But if a man becomes really happy then the very need for laughter disappears.

It will be difficult to judge from the outside that something has happened inside in him -- and a great transformation IS happening inside him. This is what sannyas is -- he is disappearing from the world.

For this transformation very few people are ready, and those who are not ready, they also need somewhere to go, somewhere to seek. They also need a guru, a master. Good, nothing wrong in it, but remember the dictum that you get only that which you deserve. They will find somebody.

One politician used to come to me, and I asked him, 'Why do you come to me?'

He said, 'Just for your blessings. I have been trying hard, but for twelve years I have remained a minister and I couldn't succeed in becoming a chief minister.

Now every minister has his own guru, and I know only you, so I come to you.'

I said, 'You have chosen a wrong guru. Go to Satya Sai Baba. You have chosen a wrong guru -- because if you come too often here there is every possibility you will not even remain a minister. Don't listen to me, to what I am saying, and don't come close to me. It is dangerous.' Since then he has disappeared. He must have got the point.

With me you will fail in the world -- of course very few people are ready to fail in the world. With me you can succeed in the inner -- but very few people are mature enough even to desire for that. So there are so many grades of growth, so many types of people, so many centuries living together. Now a person who goes to Sai Baba and a person who comes to me are not contemporaries, cannot be. The person who goes to Satya Sai Baba because miracles are happening must be living somewhere two thousand years back, when these things were thought to be spiritual. These are just ordinary magical tricks. A Buddha is not known to have done anything like that. It would have been foolish.

Two thousand years have passed: a few people have remained in that primitive state of mind. They go there. They cannot see simple things. There is no need to discuss about it -- any ordinary magician on the street can do these things. But when a magician is doing these things you think he is just a magician. And when a religious person is doing these things you think these are miracles. They are the same things.

Now Bangalore University has appointed a small committee of twelve people, and they have asked Satya Sai Baba to help them. They want to see the miracles done before the committee so they can see whether there is any scientific validity or not. He didn't answer. Three letters were written from the Vice Chancellor --

he would not answer.

And when the Vice Chancellor released his letters to the press, then Sai Baba was very angry. Then he answered in a public talk, and answered in such an unspiritual way that it is unbelievable, ridiculous. He said: 'These people are trying to fathom me. It is as if an ant is trying to fathom the ocean. These people are trying to pull me down. It is as if dogs are barking and thinking that stars will fall.'

Now this is very non-religious language, profane, not even gentlemanly. And if really you are doing miracles then why be afraid? Let them come. It will be a good opportunity for you to prove. Why not allow them? They will become your followers. They will beat the drum for you all over the world, that you are really a siddha, a miracle man. Why not allow them? Why are you afraid? They simply want to watch.

Only one thing I have to suggest to the Vice Chancellor of Bangalore University is that their committee is not of the right people. In their committee there are professors of philosophy and psychology and science -- physics, chemistry.

These people cannot judge a magician, these people have no background. What has it to do with physics? These are simple people, very innocent people. They have lived in mathematics.

The committee needs a Gogia Pasha, a K. Lal. Only then can these people be brought down to earth. A Gogia Pasha, a magician, is needed in the committee because he will know what Satya Sai Baba is doing. Every magician knows what he is doing. Professors won't be of any help, professors are very poor people.

What can they do? They don't have any concept of magic.

If you are going to find out the truth of a magician, take magicians with you.

Only they will know. It is a very tricky world, the world of magic. Very great skill is needed. To deceive is not so easy; it is an art, a great art.

But people are there; even if you expose Satya Sai Baba, that doesn't matter --

another Baba will arise because these people have a need. They will say, 'Yes, that Baba was bogus, but this Baba is true.' You go on exposing, it makes no difference, because you don't understand that there is a basic need in people.

Unless people are raised in their consciousness, Satya Sai Babas will continue.

You can expose one Satya Sai Baba, another will be born. You can expose that one, another will be born, because people are in a real need. They don't know any higher religion than that.

All are not contemporaries. People coming to me are a totally different type of people. In fact they are a little ahead of their time; they will not be understood.

That's why when you go into Poona people cannot make out what you are, what you are doing. They cannot figure it out, because you don't belong to this century. You have come a little earlier than your time.

They cannot believe how a sannyasin can move with a girl, hand in hand --

impossible. I am giving you something which will be possible only in the twenty-first century -- one hundred years more are needed... when religion will not be anti-life, when religion will be life-affirmative... when religion will not be anti-love, when religion will be a tremendous release of love... when religion will not be anti-sex -- because to be anti-sex is to be anti-life... when religion will be a total acceptance of all that life gives, of all the benedictions that life makes available.

Then religion will be just a deep gratitude towards god. Whatsoever he has given, one has to move into it, love it, experience it, transcend it -- but no anti-attitude.

So when you go into Poona town people cannot believe that you are sannyasins; they have their own notions of the past. A sannyasin has to be anti-life, you are not. Now one of my old sannyasins, Paritosh, goes to the racecourse. What to do?

And not only that, he is winning there. But good! I approve of it. I am not here to destroy your life, your enjoyment, your delights. I am here to enhance them, I am here to help you to become more flowing.

To me, sannyas is not to take life very seriously -- take it playfully. The racecourse is also part of life. And if you enjoy, it is perfectly good, nothing is wrong in it.

So whatsoever one is following, remember, it may be a need to him. Let him go, help him, at least he is trying to find something. Some day we can hope he will find a place where he can bow, where he can surrender, and where he will not be exploited.

And of course, if you start arguing, then people become defensive. It is just part of the ego of the disciple to defend the master. If somebody says anything against me, you simply feel it is against you. And it is natural, because you belong to me, I belong to you. If somebody is saying something against me you feel hurt, you start defending. And if he goes to exaggerations in his criticism, you go to exaggeration in your defence, and both become false.

I have heard:

The puerto rican couple had been married only three months when the wife gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. The proud grandmother was accosted on the street one day by one of her neighbours. 'Hey, I see your Rosita just had a baby after only three months,' smirked the neighbour.

'You surprised?' asked the new grandmother. 'My Rosita is such an innocent.

How would she know how long to carry a baby?'

Never argue, it is useless. Then you make the other person defensive, and then --

extremes.

Many people are simply going here and there because of curiosity. That too is good. Not to be curious is not to be alive. That too is good. But curiosity is not enough for spiritual growth.

There are three words in the East: curiosity we call kutahel. It is childish, you don't put anything at stake. You just ask why the trees are green and then you forget about it. If nobody answers it you don't go on thinking about it. Who created the world? Not that you are really interested -- just a floating idea in the mind; not that you are ready to put your life for this question, that you have to find the answer. It does not matter.

Then enquiry we call jigyasa. Enquiry means now your curiosity is not just curiosity; it is taking deep roots in you, it is becoming a part of your life. You are not asking for asking's sake, you really want to go into it.

And then there is a third word, mumuksha, for which no english equivalent exists. Curiosity is just amusement, enquiry becomes more scientific, mumuksha literally means the desire, passionate desire to know the truth.

Curiosity will not take you anywhere else, you will remain a news-paper reader, that's all. Every day you read the newspaper but it is just curiosity. Then you throw it.

Enquiry can make you a scientific worker, a philosopher, a logician, but still it will not make you a religious person, a spiritual being.

When your enquiry becomes so passionate -- by passionate I mean when it becomes a question of life and death -- when you cannot rest at ease unless you know the truth; when you are ready to die for it, for your enquiry, only then can you find a real master.

So there are three types of masters: people who fulfil your curiosity, people who fulfil your enquiry and people who fulfil your mumuksha, your passionate desire to know the truth. It depends on you. Curiosity-mongers can go to Muktananda, Moon -- that will do. They are never ready to commit, they are just spectators. And of course they get into many troubles.

I have heard:

A Jew was standing on a manhole cover jumping up and down and shouting,

'Sixty-nine, sixty-nine, sixty-nine!'

A German came along and asked, 'What are you doing?'

The Jew jumped off and took the German by the arm. 'Here,' he said, 'you try it for a while.'

The German got on the manhole cover and as he started to jump the Jew grabbed the cover away and the German fell down the sewer. 'Ha!' exclaimed the Jew as he replaced the cover and starting jumping again. 'Seventy! Seventy! Seventy!'

Curiosity is just like that. Somebody shouting, 'Sixty-nine! Sixty-nine! Sixty-nine!'

and just in your mind an idea arises: 'What does he mean? What is sixty-nine?'

Now you are no more... you have nothing to do with it. If you are really a little alert you will bypass. Let him say 'Sixty-nine! Sixty-nine!' Let him shout. Why should you get into it?

But man is a monkey. If somebody is shouting, suddenly you become curious.

What is the matter? That is how things are going. A Muktananda goes on shouting, 'Kundalini! Kundalini! Kundalini!' What is kundalini? Sixty-nine becomes seventy.

So first you get caught and then it becomes very difficult to get out, because then it becomes an involvement with the ego.

The seven-year-old was being taught the proper way to ask a girl for a dance. A half hour later he asked the teacher, 'Now, how do you get rid of her?'

It is very easy to ask a girl to dance with you; the real problem arises in how to get rid of her. It is very easy to fall in love, the problem arises when you want to get out of it. You had never really thought of all the implications.

When you go to somebody you may be just going for curiosity's sake. Some friend goes there, your neighbour goes there and they say, 'Baba is incredible!' So you have to go -- sixty-nine! Then you have ambitions, then you have illnesses, then you have a pending law suit against you in the court, then you have a thousand and one problems. And when you go to the Baba and there are people who say that he is a miracle, he can create things out of nothing, then your desire becomes aflame. 'If he can create things out of nothing, maybe he can help me for my court case, or he can help me for my disease to disappear, or he can help me for my ambition, for my success in life.'

Then you are caught. And then others start saying that you are going to a false messiah. Then you defend, it becomes your ego problem. You? -- how can you go to a fake messiah? When you go there the messiah has to be true. You cannot go; you are such an intellectual person, so intelligent. How can you be caught by a false messiah? Impossible. Then you try to prove that he is not false.

Now you are getting into a trap on your own. And one day it will be very difficult to get out because then you will be swallowing your own thing that you have spat. You have been saying that he is the greatest master, then one day you want to leave. Now how to leave? It goes against your own assertions; ego becomes involved.

One thing only I would like to say: go wherever you want to go, don't get egoistically involved. Remain alert, watchful. If you can learn something, learn. If you find that there is nothing to learn, then be ready to leave.

There is no need to leave with a grudge. There is no need to leave him only when you start being against him. There is no need to be an enemy -- simply leave.

Because to be too much in attachment is bad, and to be too much full of hatred is bad also.

You go to a person; whatsoever you can learn you learn. If you feel that this is the home, you have arrived, then good for you. If you feel this is not, then leave, and thank him for whatsoever he has done for you. Maybe he has not done anything, but at least he has made you aware that you can become a victim of somebody who has nothing to give. Next time you will not become a victim so easily. Thank him for that.

Three logicians were standing under one umbrella. 'This is terrific,' said one of them. 'None of us are getting wet.'

'That is because it is not raining,' said one bystander.

There are many people who think they are happy because of the Baba, because the Baba's blessing is making them happy. They think Baba is like an umbrella.

But first look whether it is raining or not.

This is my experience: if a hundred persons come to a Baba, fifty will become hangers-around. Fifty will leave, because those fifty will not feel any fulfilment, and these fifty will feel some sort of fulfilment -- not because of the Baba; it is simple statistics. If a hundred ill persons come, almost fifty percent will be helped. Not because of the Baba; if they had not come then too they would have become healthy. They simply become healthy because it is not raining.

You go on distributing anything -- just water. You try it. You can just go and sit under a tree and start distributing water to people. Within a week you will see many people are hanging around you. What has happened? Many will start saying that you are a miracle: 'I had a headache for many years, that disappeared.' Somebody says he had a stomach ache and it has disappeared.

And you will be surprised, but by and by you will see that things are working so you will become more confident.

When you become more confident, things will work more. And these people who will hang around you because they have been helped, they will create an aura around you. Whenever a new person comes, they will say, 'Certainly it is going to happen, absolutely it is going to happen. Look -- to all of us it has happened. This man had a headache, and this man had a stomach ache, and this man was suffering from this and that man was suffering from that. We have all been helped.'

This creates a sort of deep suggestibility. When so many people have been helped then why not you? You become hopeful, faith arises, and then the water works. These are simple auto-suggestions that work. And then things go on growing.

It is just like a snowball rolling on snow. Just by rolling more snow collects around it -- it goes on bigger and bigger and bigger.

Human stupidity is tremendous, and man has lived down the ages in such ignorant, stupid ways, unintelligent ways, that it seems natural. Nobody understands how things work. Still science has not been able to know exactly how things work, but the basic things are known. How do things work? -- they work through faith. Nobody is working, nobody is doing anything, just your own faith.

Jesus is true. He again and again says.... People come to him -- they are healed and they want to thank him, and he says, 'Don't thank me. Your faith has healed you.' He is a true man. He says, 'Don't thank me. I have not done anything. Your faith has healed you.'

And these Babas also don't understand. They are as much mystified as you are mystified by what goes on happening.

Mulla Nasrudin had been out speaking all day in an election campaign and returned home late at night, tired and weary. 'How did your speeches go today?'

his wife asked.

'All right, I guess,' the Mulla said. 'But I am afraid some of the people in the audience did not understand some of the things I was saying.'

'What makes you think that?' his wife asked.

'Because,' whispered Mulla Nasrudin, 'I don't understand them myself.'

Just watch how your mind functions: how your mind tends to be superstitious, how your mind tends to be egoistic, how your mind tends to be defensive, rationalizing. Just watch that. The real work is to be done inside your mind.

Don't be worried about Moon and others, you just think about your own mind, and by and by clarity will come to you.

Understanding the mechanism of the mind, one becomes freed of that mechanism. Becoming aware, one goes beyond the mind, and that state of beyond the mind is the state of freedom. Then you cannot be exploited, then nobody can enforce you into any sort of imprisonment. Then nobody can deceive you, befool you.

The last question is from Shanti Sudheer. He has sent me just a blank paper. He has been writing questions almost every day. Of course I never answer him, so this is his last desperate effort. He is the greatest questioner around here, but because all his questions were just head things I have never bothered to answer him -- because they were just intellectual rubbish; they had nothing to do with his being. They had nothing to do with himself: fifty percent of them were concerned with others, fifty percent were just bookish.

He must be a good reader, he goes on sending books to me. He must have studied much and that goes on moving his mind, and then questions arise.

Those questions have nothing to do with his being, or with his growth; those questions are just useless -- curiosities at the most, not even enquiries.

When I come across the questions, first I try to answer those questions that belong to mumuksha, which belong to your passionate effort to get rid of illusions and to arrive into the world of truth. First I answer only those questions which are really life and death questions. If I cannot find that type of question then second I answer those questions which belong to jigyasa, enquiry. If even that is not possible then only I answer questions which belong just to curiosity.

Just because you have asked a question I am not going to answer it. I have to choose -- because you don't know yourself what you are asking, and why you are asking. If I don't answer your question that is my answer. That simply shows that the question was in some way irrelevant, was not worth.

So I never answered Shanti Sudheer. He is a good soul, very innocent, but too much in the head. And I wanted to pull him down a little towards the heart. This is his desperate effort, but the best that he has done -- that's why I have decided to answer, though he has not asked anything. This shows a little glimpse of the heart... this blank piece of paper. Yes, heart is just as blank as this blank piece of paper. Head is too full, it is crowded. Heart is pure empty sky, unclouded.

Yes, the heart is just like this piece of paper with only one small distinction -- that this piece of paper has his name on it. That is the only flaw I can find in this question. Had there been no name on it, it would have been perfect. A little ego...

you can carry that little ego in the heart also, but then it corrupts the whole heart.

If he had sent just a blank piece of paper without any name that would have been something tremendously valuable.

There are many people who ask questions just to hear their name from me. They are not interested in the questions, they are interested only in their names. Then I make it a point not to mention their names. I mention somebody's name only when I see the person is interested -- not at all interested in the name only interested in the question. I have my own ways.

But to Shanti Sudheer I would like to say: learn something; this blank piece of paper should become your reality. Drop the name also. Just be simply blank.

Mind has so many questions and no answers. The heart has no questions and only the answer. This is the paradox. The mind goes on asking, never finds the answer. And the heart never asks and is always with the answer.

Just the other night Govinda came back -- he is a sannyasin, a rare being, a very pure being. He is a world-famous architect. I asked him, 'Have you any questions to ask?' He said, 'No, Osho. This time I have no question to ask. I have just come to be here.' And I told him, 'Then you will receive the answer.'

Because if you are sitting by my side without any question, then who can prevent the answer? Then how can the answer be prevented? Then it will shower on you, then it will reach to you.

That is the meaning of satsang -- being with a master without any mind... just being with him so energies can meet and merge and flow. If you are empty I can fill you totally, you will start overflowing. But if you are already full of questions then it is very difficult for me to get inside you. Impossible.

Become a blank piece of paper. Don't write even your name on it. Be just empty.

In that emptiness perfection descends. When you are not, god is.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #9

Chapter title: The truth beyond magic

29 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE GOOD MAN THAN TO FEED ONE HUNDRED

BAD MEN.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE WHO OBSERVES THE FIVE PRECEPTS OF

BUDDHA THAN TO FEED ONE THOUSAND GOOD MEN.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE SROTAPANNA THAN TO FEED TEN

THOUSAND OF THOSE WHO OBSERVE THE FIVE PRECEPTS OF BUDDHA.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE SKRIDAGAMIN THAN TO FEED ONE MILLION

OF SROTAPANNAS.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE ANAGAMIN THAN TO FEED TEN MILLIONS

OF SKRIDAGAMINS. IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE ARHAT THAN TO FEED

ONE HUNDRED MILLIONS OF ANAGAMINS.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE PRATYAK BUDDHA THAN TO FEED ONE

BILLION OF ARHATS.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE OF THE BUDDHAS EITHER OF THE PRESENT

OR OF THE PAST OR OF THE FUTURE THAN TO FEED TEN BILLIONS OF

PRATYAK BUDDHAS.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE WHO IS ABOVE KNOWLEDGE,

ONESIDEDNESS, DISCIPLINE, AND ENLIGHTENMENT THAN TO FEED

ONE HUNDRED BILLIONS OF BUDDHAS OF PAST, PRESENT OR FUTURE.

LET US FIRST talk a little about the disease called man. Man is a disease because deep down the very being of man is split, it is not one. Hence continuous disease, uneasiness, anxiety, angst, anguish. Schizophrenia is just a normal state of affairs.

It is not that a few people become schizophrenic: man is born schizophrenic. It has to be understood.

Man is born in dis-ease, born as dis-ease. When you entered your mother's womb, the first moment of your life was based on two parents, the mother and the father. Your very beginning was dual divided -- male/female, yin/yang, positive/negative. The first unity of your being was already based on division.

Half of you came from one parent, the other half from another parent. From the very beginning you have been two.

So schizophrenia is not something that happens to a few unfortunate people, it is just the normal state of affairs. Man is born split, hence continuously there is a duality, an indecisiveness, a wavering. You cannot decide who you really want to be, you cannot decide where to go, you cannot choose between two alternatives, you remain ambiguous.

Whatsoever you do, a part of you remains against it. Your doing is never total.

And a doing that is not total cannot be fulfilling, and a doing that is chosen only by one part of your being against the other part, will create more and more rift in your being. This has to be understood.

Unity is in the end, not in the beginning. You can become a unitary being, you can become non-dual, you can come to yoga -- yoga means unity, unison, integration, individuation -- but that is in the end, not in the beginning. In the beginning is the dual, in the beginning is the division, in the beginning is disease.

So unless you understand it and make an effort to transform it.... The merger has not yet happened; it has happened on one level only -- on the level of the body.

On the level of the body you have become one, your mother and your father have melted -- on the plane of the body. You have become one body. Out of two bodies a new unity has arisen, but it is only on the body, in the body, not deeper than the body. Deep in your mind you are split. And if you are split in your mind there is no way to go beyond the mind. Only a mind that has become a unity, integrated, one, becomes capable of going beyond it.

This sutra of Buddha is tremendously significant. A very simple sutra, but don't take it literally. Of course literally also it is true, but it is the whole progress --

how to become one, how to dissolve the twoness on all levels of your being, from the most gross to the most subtle, from the circumference to the center... how to drop all duality and come to a point where suddenly you are one.

That point is the goal of all religions, the goal of all yogas, the goal of all prayers, all meditations, the goal of Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism --

the goal of all the seekers. Because once you have become one, your misery disappears.

Misery is because of the conflict. Misery is because your house is divided, misery is because you are not one, you are a crowd -- a thousand and one voices inside you pulling you and pushing you in all sorts of ways and all directions.

You are a mess, a chaos. It is a miracle how you manage not to go mad, because you are boiling with madness. It is a miracle how somehow you go on remaining sane, how you are not lost into this crowd. But whether lost or not, you are sitting on a volcano which can erupt any moment.

Remember this: madness is not something that happens to a few unfortunate people, madness is something everybody is prone to. Madness is something which you are carrying within you like a seed -- it can sprout any moment; it is only waiting for the right season, the right climate, the right opportunity. Any small thing can trigger it and you -- you simply go berserk. You are berserk because your foundation is split. It is possible to become one but then one has to be very aware about this whole situation.

I have heard:

Mulla Nasrudin went to his psychiatrist and asked if the good doctor could not split his personality.

'Split your personality?' asked the doctor. 'Why in heaven's name do you want me to do a thing like that?'

'Because,' said Mulla Nasrudin, 'I am so lonesome. Because I feel so lonely.'

Don't just laugh at it. Maybe that's why you never work hard to become one unity, because this duality gives you a certain company. You can talk with yourself, you can have a dialogue -- everybody is having a dialogue, continuously. Sitting in your chair, what are you doing when you close your eyes? The continuous dialogue is there. You question, you answer, from this side, from that side.

Watch this dialogue. If this dialogue stops will you not feel very lonesome? Will you not feel very alone? Will you not feel very empty if this dialogue stops? Will you not suddenly feel that all noise has disappeared? Will you not become frightened that only silence is there?

No, you go on feeding this dialogue. You go on helping this dialogue to be there.

Either you are talking with others, or if it is not possible because others are not always available, then you are talking with yourself. While you are awake you are talking with others, while you are asleep you are talking with yourself.

What is your dream? A drama that you enact inside your being to create a society, because you are so lonesome. In the dream you are the director, you are the story-writer, you are the actor, you are the screen and you are the audience --

you alone, but you create a beautiful drama. The whole day and the whole night what are you doing? Talking with yourself? This constant talking, this constant dialogue with yourself -- is it not boring?

Yes, you are bored, you are bored with yourself, but still you have chosen the lesser evil -- you think that if this dialogue stops you will be even more bored. At least there is something to say, something to do inside. Left alone with no dialogue you will be simply lost. This dialogue keeps you a little alive, throbbing with life. Mulla is right. He says, 'l am feeling so lonesome.'

Remember, the whole effort of sadhana is to help you to become alone, because only when you are ready to become alone, when you are ready to fall into inner silence, when you are no more clinging to this constant talking, inner talk, then only can you become a unity. Because this constant inner talk helps you to remain dual, divided.

Just the other night a sannyasin came to me and he said that in the night sometimes he falls from his bed and only in the morning he becomes alert. And one day it happened that he found himself ten feet away from his bed. So what is happening? Now he must be getting into deep dreams, nightmares, and the dreams must be so deep that even if he falls from his bed... he found himself ten feet away from the bed -- that means the slumber must be like a coma.

I asked him one thing: 'Do you talk too much in the day?' He said, 'No.' Then that explains it. There are two types of people: talkers and listeners, T-people and L-people. Talkers talk the whole day, then in the night they have to listen; then they go to listen to a religious discourse or something -- they go to the church in the dream, to the priest in the dream. The whole day they have been talking; one has to compensate -- they listen in their dream. People who have to listen in their day, and have become listeners, talk much in the night; they shout, they say things that they always wanted to say but they could not manage in the day --

nobody was ready to listen to them.

It happens to people that when they go to a psychoanalyst and the psychoanalyst listens to them, patiently, attentively -- of course he has to listen because he is paid for it -- their dreams start changing. Their talking in their dreams by and by subsides, the quality of the dream changes, because now they have found somebody who listens to them -- they have become the talker and they have found a party who listens attentively. Their dreams become more silent, they are not talking and shouting in their night. Their nights are more silent, more at ease.

Remember, whatsoever you miss in the day you will do in your dreams. The dream is complementary, it compensates and completes whatsoever has remained incomplete in the day. If you are a beggar in the day, in the night you will dream that you are an emperor. If you are an emperor during the day, in the night you will dream that you have become a Buddha -- a beggar.

That's how it happened. Buddha was born in an emperor's palace but he started dreaming about becoming a beggar. When after twelve years he came back home, enlightened, his father said, 'Stop all this nonsense! You are my only son.

Come back, I'm waiting for you. This whole kingdom is yours. And in our family there has never been a beggar.'

Buddha laughed and he said, 'Maybe, sir, in your family there has never been a beggar, but as far as I am concerned, I have been dreaming for many lives of becoming a beggar.'

When you become very rich you start thinking that poor people must be living in tremendous beauty, relaxedness. When you live in a city, a megalopolis like Bombay or Tokyo or New York, you think villages are beautiful. Ask the villagers. They are hankering to reach to Bombay, to Tokyo, to New York. They dream. When you are poor you dream about the rich, when you are rich you dream about the poor.

Watch your dreams: they will show you that something that is lacking in the day is being fulfilled. In the day you are one part of your polarity, in the night you become another part of your polarity. You are two. So not only does a dialogue continue in you in your dreaming, but in your moments of awakening there is also a dialogue.

If you are a bad man while awake, you will become a saint while you are asleep.

If you are a saint while awake, you will become a sinner while you are asleep.

That's why your so-called saints are so much afraid of sleep, they go on reducing their sleep -- because the whole day somehow they managed to remain saints, but what to do about the night? The whole day they have been celibate, they have not looked at any woman's face, they have avoided life -- but what to do in the night? All those faces they have avoided but could not avoid, surface in their being.

Beautiful women, more beautiful than they have ever seen in the daytime, erupt.

They think that it is Indra, the god of heaven, who is sending apsaras to destroy them. Nobody is sending any apsaras, nobody is interested in these poor fellows.

Why should Indra be interested? For what?

No, this is compensatory. In the day they control their saintliness. In the night when they relax -- and they have to relax, they have to rest -- when they rest, everything is relaxed, their control is also relaxed. Suddenly all that they have been repressing comes up.

Your day and your night are in constant dialogue. Psychoanalysts say that watching your day life is not as significant as watching your dream life, because in the day life you are pretenders, hypocrites. You go on showing faces which are not true. In the dream you are more real; you are no more hypocrites, no more pretenders, you don't have any mask. That's why all the psychoanalysts try to analyse your dreams.

This is ironical but it is true -- that your dream is truer than your day, that while you are asleep you are more authentic than when you are awake. This is unfortunate but this is so. Man has become so deceptive.

What I'm saying to you is this: unless you become a unity this will continue. In the day you can control, you can become a good man. In the night you will become a bad man, you will become a criminal in your dreams. You will do the same things that you have been controlling the whole day, exactly the same things. If you have fasted in the day, you will feast in your dream. Your denied part will take its revenge. And you cannot go both ways together. That's the disease called man, that's the angst, the anguish of man -- you cannot go both ways. You cannot be good and bad together, you cannot be saint and sinner together, that is the difficulty.

You have to choose. And once you choose, you are torn apart, you are in a dilemma, you are on the horns of a dilemma. The moment you choose, difficulty arises. That's why many people choose not to choose; they live a life of drifting --

whatsoever happens, happens. They don't choose, because the moment they choose, this creates anxiety.

Have you watched, observed, that whenever you have to make a decision you become very very anxious? Maybe it is a very ordinary decision. You are purchasing a pair of shoes and you cannot decide which pair, and anxiety arises.

Now it is rubbish -- but still anxiety arises.

Anxiety has nothing to do with great decisions, anxiety has something to do with decision as such. Because you are two -- whenever you decide, both your parts try to dominate. Your mother tries to dominate, your father tries to dominate.

And of course you know well, they never agreed about anything, they don't agree in you also.

Your mother says this pair is good. Your father says don't listen to her, she is foolish; this pair is right. Your male energy says one thing, your female energy says another thing. Your female energy has different attitudes; it looks at the beauty of the pair of shoes, the shape, the form, the colour, aesthetics. The male energy has a different attitude. It looks at the durability of the shoe, the price, the power -- whether the shoe has a powerful shape so when you go walking on the streets your male ego is exhibited through it.

Each thing that the male ego chooses has to be somehow a phallic symbol. The male ego chooses a car with great speed -- a phallic symbol, forceful. You will always find impotent people sitting in great phallic cars -- impotent people. The more impotent they become, the more powerful a car they choose. They have to compensate.

The male ego always chooses that which will fulfill the male ego: I am powerful -

- that is the basic consideration. The feminine ego chooses something which gives another sort of power -- I am beautiful. Hence they never agree. If your mother purchases something, your father is bound to disagree with it. They are not made to agree, their visions are different.

It happened:

Mulla Nasrudin tried many girls, but his mother would reject. So he came to me.

He said, 'Sir,.help me. Whomsoever I choose, my mother is so dominating and so aggressive and she immediately rejects. I am tired. Am I going to remain a bachelor my whole life?'

I told him, 'You do one thing. You choose a woman considering your mother's likes and dislikes. Only then will she approve.'

Finally he found one woman. He was very happy, he said, 'She walks like my mother, she wears clothes like my mother, chooses the same colours, cooks the food the same way. I hope she will like.'

I said, 'You go.' And the mother liked, she liked tremendously and Mulla came but he was very sad. I said, 'Why are you sad?'

He said, 'It seems I am going to remain a bachelor for my whole life.'

I said, 'What happened? Your mother didn't like?'

He said, 'She liked, she liked tremendously -- but my father? He rejects. Now it is impossible! My father says, "She is just like your mother. One is enough! And I'm fed up. Don't you get into the same trouble! What are you doing? Again the same mistake?"'

These two polarities in you are the basis of your anxiety, and the whole effort of a Buddha, of a master, is to help you to go beyond this duality.

This sutra is very significant. Before I read the sutra I would like to tell you a very symbolic parable. John Fowles has given this parable in his beautiful book, THE MAGUS.

The Prince and the Magician.

Once upon a time there was a young prince who believed in all things but three.

He did not believe in princesses, he did not believe in islands, he did not believe in god. His father the king told him that such things did not exist. As there were no princesses or islands in his father's domains, and no sign of god, the prince believed his father.

But then one day the prince ran away from his palace and came to the next land.

There to his astonishment from every coast he saw islands and on these islands strange and troubling creatures whom he dared not name. As he was searching for a boat a man in full evening dress approached him along the shore.

'Are those real islands?' asked the young prince.

'Of course they are real islands,' said the man in evening dress.

'And those strange and troubling creatures?'

'They are all genuine and authentic princesses.'

'Then god must also exist!' cried the prince.

'I am god,' replied the man in evening dress with a bow.

The young prince returned home as quickly as he could. 'So you are back,' said his father the king.

'I have seen islands, I have seen princesses and I have seen god,' said the prince reproachfully.

The king was unmoved. 'Neither real islands nor real princesses nor a real god exist.'

'I saw them.'

'Tell me how god was dressed.'

'God was in full evening dress.'

'Were the sleeves of his coat rolled back?'

The prince remembered that they had been. The king smiled. 'That is the uniform of a magician. You have been deceived.'

At this the prince returned to the next land and went to the same shore where once again he came upon the man in full evening dress.

'My father the king has told me who you are,' said the prince indignantly. 'You deceived me last time but not again! Now I know that those are not real islands and those are not real princesses, because you are a magician.'

The man on the shore smiled. 'It is you who are deceived, my boy. In your father's kingdom there are many islands and many princesses, but you are under your father's spell, so you cannot see them.'

The prince pensively returned home. When he saw his father he looked him in the eyes. 'Father, is it true that you are not a real king but only a magician?'

The king smiled and rolled back his sleeves. 'Yes my son, I am only a magician.'

'Then the man on the other shore was god?'

'The man on the other shore was another magician,' said the king.

'I must know the truth, the truth beyond magic,' cried the prince -- the truth beyond magic, remember these words.

'There is no truth beyond magic,' said the king.

The prince was full of sadness. He said, 'I will kill myself. If there is no truth beyond magic, then what is the point of going on living? I will kill myself, and I am saying to you, honestly.'

The king, by magic caused death to appear. Death stood in the door and beckoned to the prince. The prince shuddered. He remembered the beautiful but unreal islands and the unreal but beautiful princesses and then he said, 'Very well. I can bear it. If everything is magic and nothing is beyond magic, then I can accept death also.'

'You see my son,' said the king. 'You too now begin to be a magician.'

Now this parable is very very significant. It is very easy to change one magic for another. It is very easy to change one ideology for another. It is very easy to become a Christian from a Hindu, or a Hindu from a Christian. It is very easy to change from the world and move to a monastery, or from the monastery come back to the world and get married. It is very easy. But you are moving and changing nothing but magical worlds.

Unless you realize who you are, unless you come to the point... who is this one who is deceived? Who is this consciousness upon which this whole play of illusion goes on working, enchanting, hypnotising? Who is this basic consciousness?

Yes, a dream can be untrue, but the dreamer cannot be untrue. Even for the dream to exist, a real dreamer is needed.

This is the conclusion of the whole eastern search for truth. Let it be clear to you.

In the day you live in a world; you think it is real. Your thinking does not matter much, because in the night when you are asleep you forget this real world completely. Not only do you forget about it, you don't even remember that ever you knew about it. This whole reality simply disappears. In the dream world you start thinking dreams are real. The dream when it happens is as real as this world.

Now, right now you are sitting before me. Is there any way to decide whether you are really listening to me or you are dreaming about me? Is there any criterion to decide? You may be simply asleep and dreaming. Or maybe I am asleep and dreaming about you, or maybe it is true. But how to decide?

Just the feeling that it feels real cannot make it real, because in a dream it feels that the dream is real. So just your feeling cannot be enough guarantee for reality. Because you feel it looks real does not make any sense, because in a dream you feel absolutely that it is real. You have never doubted in your dream.

Of course you doubt when you are out of your dream, but that is not the point.

If someday this dream that you call your waking life is broken -- and it is broken one day, that is the meaning of becoming a Buddha -- when this waking dream is broken and suddenly one realizes that it all was just magic, illusion, a dream that you were living through, then it becomes unreal. Just as every morning you wake up and the whole night and the dream world disappears, and suddenly you realize -- there is nothing.

In the night the dream looks real, in the day whatsoever you call reality looks real, but they are suspicious, because in the night the day reality disappears, in the day the night reality disappears. And you have never been able to compare them because you cannot have them both together. Comparison is possible only when you can have on one side a pile of dreams, on the other side a pile of your so-called reality. Then you can compare. But you cannot have them both together.

When the dream is there reality is not there, your so-called reality I mean. When the reality is there, the dream is not there. How do you compare? There is no way to compare.

So the eastern sages have been saying that there is no need. The only thing which is real, or about which you can be certain, is you; not what you see, but the seer.

One can be certain that for a dream to exist -- the dream may be unreal or real, that is irrelevant -- but for a dream to exist, even if it is unreal a real seer is needed.

In the night, YOU were real, the dream was unreal. In the morning, the dream is no more there, only YOU are there. Again another dream unfolds.

When one becomes enlightened even that dream disappears, but you are again real, you are still real. There is only one reality and that is your inner consciousness, your witnessing soul. Everything else may be real, unreal, and there is no way to decide it.

It is said about Chuang Tzu that he dreamed one night that he had become a butterfly, moving from one flower to another, rushing in the garden. In the morning when he awoke he was very puzzled. He was a great teacher, a great master, one of the greatest Buddhas ever born on the earth. His disciples gathered and they looked at him, and he was very sad. They said, 'Master, you have never been sad. What has happened?'

He said, 'There is a problem to be solved for you: and the problem is that I, Chuang Tzu, dreamed in the night that I had become a butterfly.'

They laughed, they said, 'Now the dream is gone, you are awake, why bother about it?'

Chuang Tzu said, 'Listen to the whole thing. Now, a problem has arisen: if Chuang Tzu can dream, and in dream can become a butterfly, why can't it happen vice versa? A butterfly can go to sleep and dream that she has become a Chuang Tzu. Now who is who? Whether Chuang Tzu dreamed that he had become a butterfly or the butterfly is dreaming that she has become a Chuang Tzu. This is the problem that is making me very sad.'

It is said that no one from his disciples could solve this conundrum, this koan.

How to solve it? How to decide who is who? But if there was somebody deeply meditative, he would have answered. In fact, Chuang Tzu has posed the question just to know whether somebody has really become meditative among his disciples. Because then neither the butterfly is true, nor Chuang Tzu is true, but the one who is puzzled, the one who watched the butterfly, who is watching Chuang Tzu: the one who watched Chuang Tzu becoming a butterfly and who watched the butterfly becoming Chuang Tzu. That watchfulness, that awareness, that witness, that sakshin, that is the only reality.

This is the meaning of the concept of maya -- that all that you see is unreal; only the seer is real. Go on moving towards the seer, otherwise you live in a magical world. You can change from one magic world to another. Man lives in lies; people call their lies their philosophies.

Freud has said somewhere, a very penetrating insight, that man cannot live without lies. As man is, Freud seems to be right. Man cannot live without lies.

Man without lies is difficult, because then you will need much courage. Your lies make life smooth, they function like lubrication, they make you move more easily.

Somebody believes in a god, that makes life a little smooth. You can throw your responsibility on somebody. Somebody believes that there is a world beyond.

Maybe here we are miserable, but there paradise is waiting for us, ready to welcome us. It helps. Marx has said that religion is the opium of the people. Yes, he is also true in a way.

All hopes are lies, all expectations of the future are lies. Yes, religion can be the opium, but so can communism -- anything that gives hope for the future, in this world or in another world; anything that helps you to sacrifice your present for something.that may happen, may not happen; anything that gives you a feeling of meaning; anything that gives you a feeling that you are a hero; anything that helps to feed your ego.

Once the Maharani of Gwalior invited me to Gwalior for a series of talks. After the first talk she heard she was very much disturbed; a very hinduistic mind, a very dogmatic mind -- orthodox, old-fashioned. She was very much disturbed.

She came to see me in the afternoon and she said, 'Sir, whatsoever you say appeals, but it is dangerous. And I have come with one request: please don't destroy people's faith.'

I told her, 'If a faith can be destroyed, it is not worth. If a faith is a faith that can be destroyed, it is a faith in lies. A faith that is really a faith in truth is never afraid of being destroyed, it cannot be destroyed because truth cannot be destroyed.'

Hindus are afraid, Christians are afraid, Mohammedans are afraid, Jainas are afraid, everybody is afraid -- don't destroy our faith! In their faith they are just hiding their lies, their magic worlds, their dreams, their expectations. They are very touchy. If you just poke into their ribs their faith is skin-deep, not even that.

They immediately become irritated because their faith is not anything deep in their heart, it is just a belief in the mind.

The Maharani of Gwalior said to me, 'I wanted to bring my son. He is very interested. Listening to you, he became fascinated -- but I prevented him. I have not brought him to you -- you are dangerous and he is young, and he can become too much impressed by you. So I have not brought him at all.'

What is this fear? Are you clinging to lies? Only lies are afraid of being broken, only lies need protection. Truth in itself is self-evident. So if you have some faith which is just a lie, it makes you secure, I know; it helps to adjust with the world, I know -- but it is not going to help you ultimately. Sooner or later you will be awakened out of your dreaming and you will see your whole life has been a wastage.

There is no need to cling to anything outside, because it is not yet in any way possible for you to decide what is true and what is false outside. Right now it will be better that you just move inwards to it and forget all about the outside.

Don't be bothered about Hinduism, Christianity, Mohammedanism; don't be bothered about Vedas and Gitas and Korans. Just go in and let one be your goal: to know who is this consciousness, what is this consciousness, who I am.

This sutra is a gradual indication of the inner journey. Listen to it.

THE BUDDHA SAID:

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE GOOD MAN THAN TO FEED ONE HUNDRED

BAD MEN.

Who is a bad man and who is a good man? What is the definition? The bad man is one who is inconsiderate of others. The bad man is one who uses others and has no respect for others. The bad man is one who thinks he is the center of the world and everybody is just to be used. Everything exists for him. The bad man is one who thinks that other persons are just means for his gratification.

Keep this definition in mind because you ordinarily think the bad man is the criminal. The bad man may not be the criminal: all bad men are not criminals. All criminals are bad, but all bad men are not criminals. A few of them are judges, a few of them are very respectable people, a few of them are politicians, presidents and prime ministers, a few of them are even parading as saints.

So when we will be talking about this sutra, remember the definition of a bad man -- Buddha says a bad man is one who has no consideration for others. He simply thinks about himself only -- he thinks he is the center of existence and he feels the whole existence is made for him. He feels authorized to sacrifice everybody for his own self. He may not be bad ordinarily, but if this is the attitude, then he is a bad man.

Who is a good man? Just the opposite of the bad man: one who is considerate of others, who gives as much respect to others as he gives to himself, and who does not pretend in any way that he is the center of the world, and who has come to feel that everybody is the center of the world. The world is one, but millions of centers exist. He is very respectful. He never uses the other as a means. The other is an end in itself. His reverence is tremendous.

Watch, watch your own life. Are you using your wife just for your sexuality?

You may not go to a prostitute. Ordinarily you think that a person who goes to a prostitute is bad -- that is a very gross definition. If you are using your wife just as a sexual object, you are as bad as anybody else. The only difference between you and the person who goes to a prostitute is that you have a permanent prostitute, that your marriage is a permanent arrangement and the other man makes arrangements day by day. You have a car in your garage and he uses a taxi.

If you don't respect your wife, then your wife is a prostitute -- if you don't respect her as a person in her own right. What does it mean? It means if she is not feeling, if she is not in the mood to make love, you will not enforce her; you will not say, 'I am your husband and I have the right, legal right...' No, you will respect. You will respect her intention. Good if you both agree. If the other is not agreeing, you will not coerce in any way. You will not quote scriptures that a wife has to sacrifice to the husband, you will not say that a wife has to believe in the husband as if he is a god. All this is nonsense, all this is a male-oriented trip.

If a wife is using her husband only as an economical thing, financial security, then it is prostitution. Why do you condemn a prostitute? Because she sells her body for money? But if a wife just thinks to make love to the husband because he has money and with him there is security and the future is not uncertain, and she goes on staying with him with no love, with no love in her heart, and she sleeps with this man, then she is prostituting herself. Then in her idea the husband is nothing but his money, his bank balance.

When Buddha says who a good man is, he defines the good man as one who respects the other as much as he respects himself. Jesus says, 'Love the other as you love yourself -- that is the definition of a good man. His respect is tremendous, his reverence is tremendous.

Even if a child is born in your house, you don't enforce your ideology on him.

You may be a Mohammedan, you may be a Hindu. A child is born in your home; you don't enforce the child to become a Hindu or a Mohammedan. Because if you enforce the child, you are not respectful towards the child. You are just using an opportunity because the child is helpless, and the child has to depend on you.

He has to follow you. If you take him to the temple or to the church he has to come, because it is necessary for his survival to say yes to you, whatsoever you say. If you are using this opportunity, then you are exploiting a helpless child.

Maybe it is your child, but you are exploiting him.

If the world consists of good people, children will be totally free, not enforced into any religion. There will not be Christians and Hindus and Mohammedans in the world: there will be only good people, growing people, and they will choose wherever they feel their heart fits. Maybe it is a temple, or it is a church or a mosque or a gurudwara. They will choose their religion, that is their freedom.

They will choose their life, that is their freedom.

You don't enforce. You love your child, but you don't give your knowledge to him. You love your child but you don't poison his being with your ambitions.

You love the child but you don't possess him. You help the child not to grow according to you, but to grow according to his being, to be himself. Then you are a good person.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE GOOD MAN THAN TO FEED ONE HUNDRED

BAD MEN... because if you feed bad men you feed badness; if you feed good men you feed goodness. Help the world to become better. Don't leave the world just the same as you have found it -- make it a little better, make it a little more beautiful. Let there be a few more songs, a few more celebrations, let there be a few less wars, a few less politicians, let there be more love, less hatred. That is the meaning when Buddha says FEED ONE GOOD MAN -- that is better, far better, than feeding one hundred bad men.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE WHO OBSERVES THE FIVE PRECEPTS OF

BUDDHA THAN TO FEED ONE THOUSAND GOOD MEN.

Now who is this whom Buddha calls one WHO FOLLOWS THE FIVE

PRECEPTS OF BUDDHA, the panchashilas?

The panchashilas are, the five precepts are: no possessiveness, no theft, no violence, no untruth, no sexuality. One who follows these five precepts of the Buddha, he is not just good, he is not just good to others, he is not just moral -- he is starting to be religious.

That is the difference between the good man and the religious man. The good man lives through intellect: he thinks, contemplates, he tries to find out ways through thinking, and he comes to feel, 'As I exist, as I have the right to exist, others also have the right to exist; as I would like to be free, others also like freedom.' This is his considered opinion. He thinks about it. He is not religious; he is a very very intelligent man.

A Bertrand Russell is a good man, a moral man, but he is not religious.

Whatsoever he comes to think good, he will do. But goodness comes as a logic, as a syllogism -- it is a conclusion of thinking.

The religious man is not only good by thinking, he starts being good by being, he starts to grow into meditativeness. The religious man follows these five precepts.

They are all negative: no theft, no untruth, no sexuality, no violence, no possessiveness. The religious man is negative, because he himself has not yet experienced what truth is. He has come to feel the truth through somebody else: he follows the Buddha, he lives close to a master, he has seen somebody becoming a flame, he has watched it happen somewhere -- but it has not happened in himself. He is attracted, he is convinced of the truth of it, but still it is from the outside -- he is a follower.

That's why Buddha says:

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE WHO OBSERVES THE FIVE PRECEPTS OF

BUDDHA THAN TO FEED ONE THOUSAND GOOD MEN.

His approach is still negative, because the positive truth can be attained only by you. Somebody may have attained. Watching him, being in deep rapport with him, you may feel that yes, there is truth -- but that is remaining outside of it, it is not your experience.

You are thirsty and you see somebody who is coming from the river, his thirst gone. You can see from his face, from his eyes the glow, that his thirst is quenched. And you can feel that he must have found a source of water, and you follow him towards the river, but still you have not quenched your thirst.

But better than to be just good. Then you are not moving just by your intellect, now you have started moving by your intuition. Now you are not just a head, you are moving, leaning towards the heart.

To find a master is the only way to become a religious person. Without a master you can be at the most a moral person, a good person, but you cannot be a religious person. Because how to believe something which you have never tasted? How to believe something which you have never experienced? How to believe in something which you have never seen happen even to somebody else?

When a Buddha passes in the world, many people are thrilled, their enthusiasm surges high, they start feeling that yes, the world does not end with the worldly things, there is something more to it. The very presence of a Buddha, his coolness, his silence, his overflowing bliss and compassion, his enlightened luminous being, just his vibe pulsates you towards a new life, opens doors of the unknown. But still, Buddha says, you are following; you are not yet capable of your own light. Your eyes are dazzled, but you have not attained to your own flame.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE SROTAPANNA THAN TO FEED TEN

THOUSAND OF THOSE WHO OBSERVE THE FIVE PRECEPTS OF BUDDHA.

Then, Buddha says, it is better to feed a sannyasin -- srotapanna means a sannyasin, one who has entered into the river; one who is not standing on the bank and watching others swimming in the river, thrashing around, enjoying, celebrating in the coolness of the river.

The religious man is standing on the bank. He can see that there are people in the river, tremendously happy, but he has not been yet able to gather courage to take a jump. He has still much involvement with the bank, in the world. He has much involvement in ordinary, mundane things -- money, power, prestige, family, body, health -- a thousand and one things. He is not yet courageous enough to let go.

Srotapanna means one who has surrendered, who has entered the stream.

Srotapanna exactly means what I mean by sannyas: the courageous person who has taken the jump. It is almost an insane jump, because those who are standing on the bank will laugh, and they will say, 'What are you doing? Where are you going? You don't know swimming. First learn swimming, then enter.' But how can one learn swimming without entering in the river?

Their logic is impeccable: they say first learn, first know, then go. But first learn on the bank, otherwise you are taking a risk. The river may be too deep for you and you may not be able to come back home. And who knows where it is going?

And these people who are in the river, maybe they are all deluded, maybe they are all mad. Just look, the majority is standing on the bank, only a few people are in the river. The majority cannot be wrong.

The people on the bank say, 'The few can be wrong, the mass cannot be wrong.

There are only a few sannyasins in the world, very rare are Buddhas in the world

-- maybe they are deluded. Don't be in a hurry. Maybe they are deceiving others -

- who knows? Maybe they have some other hidden motives. Wait and watch.

Don't do such a thing in a hurry.'

But such things are done only in a hurry. If you wait and watch, waiting and watching becomes your mechanical habit. Then you simply go on waiting and watching. That's what many are doing for many lives.

BUDDHA SAYS:

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE SROTAPANNA THAN TO FEED TEN

THOUSAND OF THOSE WHO OBSERVE THE FIVE PRECEPTS OF BUDDHA.

Because the srotapanna will have some experience of the stream. He will have his own experience to depend upon, he will have some taste of the stream, he will have the cool experience of the stream -- that it relaxes, that worldly cares and anxieties disappear, that one stops struggling, anguish by and by moves distant and distant and goes far away. Ordinary cares, anxieties disappear. One becomes more collected and calm. But this can be known only by a srotapanna, a sannyasin.

A sannyasin has taken an existential step. He has moved into the abyss. He has risked his life.

Buddha says respect a man, feed a man who has risked his life. Maybe you are not yet courageous, but be close to people who are courageous. Courage is also infectious like everything else. Find people who have entered the stream, be with them, feed them, at least that will give you an idea what is happening to somebody. You may start dreaming, desiring it. Your hidden energies may start surfacing. You may start feeling the challenge of the unknown.

The religious person is negative, the srotapanna is positive. The religious person follows somebody else, the srotapanna has entered into the stream of life, into the stream of consciousneSs. He has dropped his ego. Now he is not any more a follower of a Buddha. This has to be understood.

Ordinarily if you are my sannyasins people will say that you are my followers.

By becoming a sannyasin, in fact you have become part of me, you are no more a follower. Before you became a sannyasin you may have been a follower. Then you decided that following is not enough, that you are ready to go with me headlong, that you are ready to go with me wherever I am going.

Now, once you are a sannyasin you are not a follower, you are part of the energy I am, you are just one with me. People ask me, 'If we don't take sannyas, will you not help me, will you not help us?' I say, 'I will help, that is not the problem, but you will not be able to take it, because you will go on remaining separate, you will go on remaining on the bank.'

The river is ready to take you to the ocean, the invitation is already given to you, it is a standing invitation, but you are standing on the bank. What can the river do? It cannot snatch you away from the bank. And it wouldn't be good, even if it was possible, because you have to drop into the river on your own accord. Only then is it freedom. If you are snatched by the river, if I take you away forcibly, it cannot help you. It can destroy you, it cannot give you freedom. How can it give you ultimate freedom, moksha? From the very beginning it will be a bondage.

So I will not take you like a flooded river takes people, I will have to wait. You will have to come to me, you will have to enter into the stream, you will have to become part of the stream.

The srotapanna, or the sannyasin, is positive. Now, instead of non-truth, truth arises in him. Non-truth was just a preparation so that truth can enter. Instead of non-violence or no-violence, love, compassion arises in him. Non-violence was just a preparation for it. No violence, no untruth and other negatives are just medicinal.

You are ill; the physician gives you a medicine to destroy the illness. When the illness is destroyed then health arises in you. Medicine never brings health, it only destroys the disease. Health cannot be brought by any medicine, there is no health-giving medicine. Health is your inner being -- once the hindrances are removed your waters of life start flowing; once rocks are removed your fountain bursts forth.

Health is something natural, no medicine can give it to you. Disease is something unnatural. Disease enters you from the outside; an outside medicine can take it away. Health is your innermost core, it is you. When you are naturally yourself you are healthy.

The religious man is under treatment, he is hospitalised. The srotapanna has come back home -- he is no more hospitalised, he is not under treatment, his health has started sprouting. His spring of life is flowing well. He is positive. His goal is not non-violence, his goal is not non-truth, is not untruth. His goal is not to delete something, eliminate something, his goal is not to destroy something; his goal is to help that which is already bubbling, radiating in his being.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE SKRIDAGAMIN THAN TO FEED ONE MILLION

OF SROTAPANNAS.

Buddha goes deeper and deeper. A skridagamin is one who will die and will come once again in life. His samadhi is just coming closer. Srotapanna is one who has jumped into the stream from the bank; a skridagamin is one whose river is coming very close to the ocean. He is getting ready to take the ultimate, the final jump. But he will come once more. Just that much difference.

A srotapanna will be born seven times -- that much is the distance from the bank to the ocean. A sannyasin will be born seven times; a skridagamin once more, only once more. Then his accounts will be closed, then he will have passed through the final graduation from life, then this world is no more for him. But once more he will come, maybe for his post-graduation.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE ANAGAMIN THAN TO FEED TEN MILLIONS

OF SKRIDAGAMINS.

The anagamin is one who will not come. Anagamin means one who has passed beyond the point of coming back... crossed the shore of this world. Once died, he will not be coming again to the world. He is just on the verge of the ocean, the river is just there -- just there on the threshold, ready to jump. He will not even look back.

The skridagamin is looking back, hesitating a little, would like to come once more. This world is beautiful, it attracts. It has many celebrations, many flowers bloom here. The skridagamin is one for whom subtle desires are still lurking somewhere in the deep unconscious. Yes, he knows that one has to go, but a little more he would like to linger on this shore. Before he takes the final jump and disappears forever, he would like to taste this life once more, just as a farewell, to say good-bye.

The anagamin is one who will not look back, he will not even say good-bye. He is totally finished. The skridagamin is perfectly certain that a better world is waiting, but still a little longing for the past.

You always feel that -- a little nostalgia. When you are leaving a house where you have lived for twenty years, have you watched? -- you look back. Or you leave a town you have lived in for twenty years, where you were born -- you look back. Even when the train leaves you go on looking out of the window, your eyes a little wet with memories, nostalgia, the past, the whole past. You have been here for so long. You loved here, you hated here, you had friends, you had enemies, you had many sorts of experiences here; you owe too much to this life. Yes, you are ready to go, you are already in the train, but still eyes of longing look backwards.

The skridagamin will come once, the anagamin will not come. His departure is total, perfect. He will not look back, he has no nostalgia. The future that is happening, that is going to happen, is far more beautiful; this world simply has disappeared from his consciousness. The golden peaks of god are waiting for him, the oceanic infinity is waiting for him. He does not hanker any more for the bounded existence of a river.

Yes, there were many flowers on the bank and beautiful trees and shadows and many dreams, but that is gone. Gone is gone.

BUDDHA SAYS:

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE ANAGAMIN THAN TO FEED TEN MILLIONS

OF SKRIDAGAMINS. IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE ARHAT THAN TO FEED

ONE HUNDRED MILLIONS OF ANAGAMINS.

The arhat is one who has dropped into the ocean, disappeared. The anagamin is one who is just on the verge of disappearing, just on the boundary line -- one step more and he will become an arhat. Just a little distance and he will become an arhat -- one drop more, just the last straw is needed on the back of the camel and the camel will collapse.

The anagamin is boiling at ninety-nine degrees; one degree more... The arhat is one who has crossed one hundred degrees and evaporated. Arhat is one who has evaporated.

BUDDHA SAYS:

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE ARHAT THAN TO FEED ONE HUNDRED

MILLIONS OF ANAGAMINS.

The arhat is one whose ego is lost, who has become part of the whole. He no more exists as himself, now he exists as the universe, as the whole. In fact that is the meaning of the word 'holy': one who has become whole. Arhat is holy. Not holy in the sense Christians use the word 'saint' -- no, not in that sense.

The christian word 'saint' is very ugly. It comes from a root 'sanctus': sanctioned by the church. That is ugly -- how can you sanction? Who is there to sanction?

No government can issue certificates for saints -- even the government that exists in the Vatican, even the Pope has no authority. A saint cannot be certified, but the christian word 'saint' means one who is certified by the Pope.

Arhat does not mean saint in that way. Arhat means one who has lost himself in the whole and has become holy.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE PRATYAK BUDDHA THAN TO FEED ONE

BILLION OF ARHATS.

Then who is this pratyak Buddha?

Arhat is one who has followed Buddhas and arrived home. Pratyak Buddha is one who has never been a disciple to anybody, who has come searching alone --

his journey has been absolutely alone, his path has been absolutely alone. A pratyak Buddha is a rare phenomenon. There are millions of arhats down the centuries, but very far and few in between are pratyak Buddhas, who have struggled absolutely alone. And of course, they are needed, otherwise arhats will not be possible.

Pratyak Buddhas are needed so that others can follow them; they are the pioneers, they are the breakthroughs, they create the path.

Remember it: pratyak Buddha is one who moves in the jungle of life for the first time and creates a path by his very movement. Then others can follow. Those others will reach to the same point, to the same goal, but they will be arhats.

They have not made the path, they are not the path-finders, they are not the path-builders. More respect is needed to be given to a pratyak Buddha because no path was there: he created the path.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE OF THE BUDDHAS EITHER OF THE PRESENT

OR OF THE PAST OR OF THE FUTURE THAN TO FEED TEN BILLIONS OF

PRATYAK BUDDHAS.

Then what is the difference between a pratyak Buddha and a Buddha?

A pratyak Buddha is one who creates the path and never bothers if anyone is following him or not. He has no compassion. He is a lonely traveller and he has found alone, so he thinks everybody can find when he has found. What is the point of going and telling people? He is not a master.

A pratyak Buddha makes the path -- not for others, remember. He is just moving and the path is created by his movement... a small footpath in the jungle. Because he has moved, others follow him; that is for them -- he never cares. He is a lonely traveller, and he thinks what can happen to him can happen to others.

When Buddha himself became enlightened these two alternatives were before him: whether to become a Buddha or a pratyak Buddha. For seven days he remained quiet: there was every possibility he may have chosen to be a pratyak Buddha. Then the whole humanity would have missed something of tremendous value.

It is said that Brahma came with all his gods from heaven -- it is a beautiful parable. They bowed down at the feet of Buddha and they prayed to him: 'Open your eyes and teach us whatsoever you have found.' But Buddha said, 'What is the point? If I can find, others can also find.' He was leaning towards becoming a pratyak Buddha. His logic was perfect: if I can find, then why not others? 'And,'

he said, 'even if I teach, those who want to listen, only they will listen to me.

Those who are ready to go, only they will go with me. They can go without me.

And those who are not ready to go, they won't listen and they will not go even if I shout from the housetops. So why bother?'

The gods discussed between themselves what to do, how to convince this man. A great opportunity has happened in the universe and if he becomes a pratyak Buddha, then again the message will be lost. Of course, a few people will again find the way, but there is a possibility to make a superhighway. And a footpath can disappear very soon; the trees can overrun it again. It has to be prepared in such a way that for centuries to come people can follow, and the trees and the jungle will not destroy it, will not cover it again. They discussed, they argued amongst themselves, then they found an argument.

They came to Buddha again and they said, 'You have to teach, because we watched, we looked all around the world. Yes, you are right, there are a few people who will immediately follow you. And we know that those are the people, even if you don't say, they will find -- a little later, maybe a few more steps, but they will find; we are certain about it, they are already on their search.

So maybe your teaching will bring the goal sooner, but nothing much more is going to happen -- you are right.

'And there are people -- millions we know, we have seen, we have looked into the hearts of humanity -- who will not listen, who are deaf to any person like you. So, talking to them is not of any meaning. But we have seen a few people who are just in between the two, just lurking on the boundary. They will not go if you don't speak. And if you speak they will listen and they will gather courage.

So just please, for those few people.'

And Buddha could not argue, he had to concede, and he became a Buddha and dropped the idea of becoming a pratyak Buddha.

Buddha is one who has found his path; not only that -- he created that path in such a way that many more can follow it... who has tremendous compassion for others, for all those struggling human beings who are groping in the dark.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE OF THE BUDDHAS THEN TO FEED TEN

BILLIONS OF PRATYAK BUDDHAS.

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE WHO IS ABOVE KNOWLEDGE,

ONESIDEDNESS, DISCIPLINE, AND ENLIGHTENMENT THAN TO FEED

ONE HUNDRED BILLIONS OF BUDDHAS OF PAST, PRESENT OR FUTURE.

And then he comes to the last point, the zero point -- even beyond a Buddha. As far as human intellect can go, Buddha seems to be the last point. That's why we call Gautam Siddhartha 'the Buddha', because that is as far as language can go.

But there is a point beyond language, there is a point which is not expressible --

beyond symbols, ineffable: that Buddha calls going beyond even being a Buddha.

Then one is not even in any way thinking that he is enlightened, then one has no discipline, then one has no character. Then one is not -- one is simply empty space.

Because in a Buddha at least a little desire to help others exists, a compassion for others. But that too will be a bondage. That means the Buddha still thinks,

'Others are and I am, and I can help others.' Still the last subtle boundary of 'I'

and 'you', of 'me' and 'thou' exists.

The last point, Buddha says, is a zero point where all knowledge disappears, all experience disappears -- even the experience of nirvana -- because there is nobody to experience it. It is difficult to say anything about it, only negative descriptions are possible.

You can find this point in all the religions. They have different words for it. Jews, Christians, Mohammedans, Hindus, call this point god. That is their way of saying 'the beyond'. But the buddhist way seems to be far superior. Jainas, Sankhyas, Yogins, call this state moksha, absolute freedom. Or others call it kaivalya, absolute aloneness. But still, all these words confine it. Buddha has not used any word, he simply says:

IT IS BETTER TO FEED ONE WHO IS ABOVE KNOWLEDGE, ABOVE

ONESIDEDNESS, ABOVE DISCIPLINE, ABOVE ENLIGHTENMENT, THAN

TO FEED ONE HUNDRED BILLIONS OF BUDDHAS OF THE PAST, PRESENT, OR FUTURE.

These are the possibilities within you. Ordinarily you exist as a bad man, so you are existing on the minimum, on the lowest rung. Try to become a good man. It is better than to be bad, but don't think it is the goal -- it is all comparative, it is all relative.

I have heard:

Mulla Nasrudin was in love with a woman. He went to the girl's father and requested that he should be allowed to have his daughter's hand. The father was completely willing, he said, 'I'm absolutely happy, I have nothing to say against it, but my wife will not agree. She thinks with your long hippie-like hair, with your poetic style of life, with your unisex dress, she thinks you look effeminate.'

Mulla brooded over it and he said, 'She is right -- in comparison to her.'

Everything is comparative. The good man is good in comparison to the bad, but in comparison to the religious man, he is just like the bad man. The sannyasin is good in comparison to the religious man, but how to compare him with the skridagamin? -- and so on and so forth.

The more you travel on the inner path, the more higher peaks become available to you. Never rest content unless you have reached to the very last, the uttermost. And the uttermost is beyondness -- where nothing exists or only pure existence remains.

That purity is the goal and in that purity you become one. Until that purity is achieved, somehow duality goes on -- first in a gross way, then in a subtle way, then in a very very subtle way. First in the conscious, then in the unconscious, but it goes on; then even in the superconscious it persists -- it goes on making shadows.

So remember it, the goal is to disappear completely. The goal is to transcend all duality, all definition. The goal is to become one with the whole.

The Discipline of Transcendence, Vol 1

Chapter #10

Chapter title: Thus come, thus gone

30 August 1976 am in Buddha Hall

The first question is from Anand Nirgrantha.

Question 1

YOU SAY THAT BUDDHA WOULD NOT SPEAK OF GOD BECAUSE IT

CANNOT BE PROVEN. YET IN THE NEXT BREATH HE SPEAKS OF OTHER

LIVES, AND REINCARNATION. HOW DOES THIS FIT INTO SCIENTIFIC

FACT?

A BUDDHA SAYS THERE IS NO SOUL. WHAT IS IT THAT REMAINS AFTER

DEATH? WHAT IS REINCARNATION? I VAGUELY UNDERSTAND THAT IT

CAN BE THE FORMLESS THAT REMAINS, BUT CAN THAT HAVE AN

INDIVIDUAL ENTITY? THE SAME WAVE IS NOT REBORN.

THE QUESTION IS VERY SIGNIFICANT. It is one of the most fundamental contributions of Buddha to human consciousness -- the idea of no-self. It is very complex. You will have to be very silently alert to understand it, because it goes against all the patterns that you have been conditioned to.

First a few analogies, so you have a certain idea what he means by no-self. Your body is a bag of skin. The skin defines your body; it defines where you and the world starts. It is a demarcation around you. It protects you from the world, it divides you from the world, and it allows you only certain apertures to enter into the world or let the world enter in you. If there is no skin, you will not be able to exist. You will be losing your boundaries with all that surrounds you. But you are not your skin. And skin goes on changing.

It is just like the snake who goes on getting out of his old skin again and again.

You also get out of your skin again and again many times. If you ask the physiologists, they will say, 'If a man is going to live seventy years, then nearly ten times he will change his skin completely.' But the process is very slow, so you never become aware. Such a tiny part changes every moment that you cannot feel it; your feeling is not so subtle. The change is very subtle. The skin goes on changing and still you go on thinking to yourself that this is your body, the same body. It is not the same body, it is a continuum.

When you were in your mother's womb, the first day you were just a small cell, invisible to the naked eye. That was your skin that time, that was your body.

Then you started growing. After nine months you were born -- then you had a totally different body. If suddenly you come across yourself just one day old, just born, you will not be able to recognize that this is you. You have changed so much. But still you think you are the same. In a way you are the same because you are the same continuity. In a way you are not the same because you have been continuously changing.

In the same way, just like the skin, is the ego. The skin holds your body into a pattern, into a definition, into a limit. The ego holds the contents of your mind into a limit. The ego is the inner skin so that you know who you are; otherwise you will be lost -- you will not know who is who; who is me and who is the other.

The idea of self, I, ego, gives you a definition, a utilitarian definition. It makes you clearly separate from others. But that too is a skin, a very subtle skin, that holds all the contents of your mind -- your memory, your past, your desires, your plans, your future, your present, your love, your hate, anger, sadness, happiness

-- it holds all that in a bag. But you are not that ego either. Because that too goes on changing and that changes more than the bodily skin. Each moment it is changing.

Buddha uses the analogy of a flame. A lamp is lighted: you see the flame, but it is continuously changing, it is never the same. By the morning when you put the light off, you don't put the same flame off. It has been continuously changing the whole night.

Every single moment the flame is disappearing in the smoke and the new flame is replacing it. But the replacement is so fast that you cannot see the absence --

that one flame has gone, another has come. That is gone, another has come. The movement is so fast that you cannot see the gap between the two. Otherwise there is only a continuity; it is not the same flame. But still, in a way, it is the same flame because it is the continuity of the same flame. It is born out of the same flame.

Just as you were born out of.your parents -- you are a continuity. You are not the same. You are not your father, you are not your mother -- but still you are your father and your mother, because you continue the same tradition, the same line, the same heritage.

Buddha says the ego is a continuity, it is not a substance -- continuity like a flame, continuity like a river, continuity like the body.

The problem arises... we can concede to it that okay, it may be so: if a person dies at death and everything disappears, then perfectly true -- maybe it is just a flame.

But Buddha says a person is reborn -- then the problem arises. Then who is reborn?

Then again, a few analogies. Have you seen a big house on fire, or a jungle on fire? If you watch you will come to see a phenomenon. Simply a flame jumps from one tree and reaches to another tree. It has no substance in it, it is just a flame. It has no material in it, it is just pure energy, a quanta of energy, a certain quantity of energy -- it jumps from one tree and reaches to the other and the other is on fire.

Or, you can bring an unlighted torch close to a lighted torch? What happens? The flame from the lighted torch jumps to the unlighted torch. It is a quantum leap, it is a jump. The pure flame jumps towards the other torch and starts another continuity.

Or, right now you are listening to me. If you put a radio on, suddenly you will start listening to a certain broadcast from some station that is passing right now.

Just a receiver set is needed. Once a receiver set is there, something that is being broadcast from London or from Moscow or Peking, you can catch hold of it.

No substance is coming, just pure thought waves jumping from Peking to Poona... just thought waves, nothing substantial. You cannot hold them in your hand, you cannot see them, but they are there because your radio set catches them, or your television catches them.

Buddha says when a person dies, his whole life's accumulated desires, his whole life's accumulated memories, his whole life's sanskaras, karmas, jump like energy waves into a new womb. It is a jump. The exact word is in physics: they call it

'quantum leap' -- 'a leap of pure energy without any substance in it'.

Buddha is the first quantum physicist. Einstein followed him after twenty-five centuries, but they both speak the same language. And I still say that Buddha is scientific. His language is of modern physics; he came twenty-five centuries before his time.

When a person dies, the body disappears, the material part disappears, but the immaterial part, the mind part, is a vibration. That vibration is released, broadcast. Now, wherever a right womb is ready for this vibe, it will enter into the womb.

There is no self going, there is nobody going, there is no ego going. There is no need for anything substantial to go, it is just a push of energy. The emphasis is that it is again the same bag of the ego jumping. One house has become unlivable, one body is no more possible to live with. The old desire, the lust for life -- the Buddha's term is tanha, lust for life -- is alive, burning. That very desire takes a jump.

Now, listen to modern physics. They say there is no matter. You see this very substantial wall behind me? You cannot pass through it; if you try you will be hurt. But modern physics says it is nothing, nothing substantial. It is simply pure energy moving with such tremendous spped that the very movement creates the falseness, the illusion, the appearance of substance.

You have sometimes watched a fan moving fast -- then you cannot see the spades. There are only three spades, but they are moving so fast it looks like a circle, like a plate; you cannot see the gaps between two spades. If a fan is moved with the same velocity as the electrons are moving -- the velocity is tremendous -

- then you can sit on the fan and you will not fall from it. You can sit as I am sitting on the chair and you will not feel any movement, because the movement is so fast.

Exactly the same is happening in this chair and the same is happening underneath you in the floor. It is not a marble floor, that is only an appearance, but the energy particles are moving so fast that their very movement, their fastness, creates the illusion of substance. Substance exists not, only pure energy exists. Modern science says matter exists not, only immaterial energy exists.

Hence I say Buddha is very scientific. He does not talk about god, but he talks about immaterial no-self. Just as modern science has taken the idea of substance out of its metaphysics, Buddha took the idea of self out of his metaphysics. Self and substance are correlates. It is difficult to believe that the wall is non-substantial and in the same way it is difficult to believe that no self exists in you.

Now, a few things more which will make it more clear. I cannot say that you will understand it, but it will make it more clear.

You walk, you are walking, you have gone for a morning walk. The very language -- that we say 'you are walking' -- creates a problem; in our very language is the problem. The moment we say somebody is walking, we assume that somebody is there who is walking -- the walker. We ask, how is walking possible if there is no walker?

Buddha says there is no walker, only walking. Life does not consist of things.

Buddha says life consists of events. And that is exactly what modern science is saying: there are only processes, not things -- events.

Even to say that life exists is not right. Only thousands and thousands of living processes exist. Life is just an idea. There is nothing like life.

In the sky one day you see black clouds have gathered and there is thunder and lightning. When there is lightning do you ask, 'Is there something behind lightning? Who is lightning? What is lightning?' You will say, 'Lightning is simply lightning -- there is nobody behind it; it is just a process. It is not that there is something which is lightning. It is simply lightning.'

The duality is brought by the language. You are walking -- Buddha says there is only walking. You are thinking -- Buddha says there is only thinking, no thinker.

Thinker is just created by the language. Because we use a language which is based in duality, it divides everything into duality.

While you are thinking, there is a cluster of thoughts, all right -- but there is no thinker. If you really want to understand it you will have to meditate deeply and come to a point where thinking disappears. The moment thinking disappears you will be surprised -- the thinker is also gone. With thinking, the thinker also disappears. It was just an appearance of moving thoughts.

You see a river. Does a river really exist, or is it just a movement? If you take the movement out, will there be a river? Once the movement is taken out the river will disappear. It is not that the river is moving; the river is nothing but rivering.

Language creates the difficulty. Maybe because of this particular structure in certain languages, Buddha became important and significant and became rooted only in Japan, China, Burma -- because they have a totally different language. It is very significant to understand why he became so important in the chinese mind, why China could understand him and India could not. China has a different language which fits with buddhist ideology absolutely. The chinese language does not divide in two. In the chinese language, or in Korean, or in Japanese or Burmese, a totally different structure exists than in Sanskrit, Hindi, English, Greek, Latin, French, German -- a totally different structure.

When for the first time the Bible was being translated into Burmese there was much difficulty, because a few sentences could not be translated at all. The moment you translate, their whole meaning is lost. For example, a simple sentence, 'God is'; you cannot translate it into Burmese. If you translate it, it becomes 'God becomes'. 'God is' cannot be translated because there is no equivalent term for 'is', because 'is' shows staticness.

We can say 'the tree is', but in Burmese you have to say 'the tree is becoming', not

'is'. There is no equivalent for 'is'. The tree 'becomes'. By the time you say 'the tree is', it is no more the same, so why do you say 'is'? 'Is' gives a staticness. It is a riverlike phenomenon -- 'tree is becoming'. I have to say 'tree is becoming' but in Burmese it will be simply 'tree becoming', the 'is' will not be there. 'The river is' --

if you want to translate -- will be 'river moving'. 'River rivering' will be the exact translation in Burmese.

But to say 'God becoming' is very difficult, because Christians cannot say that.

God is perfect, he cannot become. He is not a process, he has no growth possibility -- he has already arrived. He is the absolute -- what do you mean by

'becoming'? Becoming is possible if somebody is imperfect. God is perfect, he cannot become. So how to translate it? Very difficult.

But Buddha immediately penetrated the burmese, chinese, japanese, korean mind; immediately penetrated. The very structure of the language made it possible; they could understand Buddha very easily.

In life there are only events. Eating is there but there is no eater. Just watch eating. Is there really an eater? You feel hungry, right -- hunger is there, but there is nobody who is hungry. Then you eat -- eating is there, but there is nobody who is an eater. Then hunger is satisfied, then you feel satiation -- this satisfaction is there but there is nobody who is satisfied.

Buddha says life consists of events. Life means living. Life is not a noun, it is a verb. And everything is a verb. Watch and you will be able to see: everything is becoming, nothing is static.

Eddington has said that in the english language there are a few words that are absolutely false: for example, rest. Nothing is ever in rest, the very word is wrong, because there is no equivalent in reality. Have you ever.seen anything at rest? Even when you are at rest, it is resting, it is not rest. It is a process: something is happening, you are still breathing.

Lying down, relaxing -- but it is not rest; many things, a thousand things are happening. Have you ever seen anything at rest? It is impossible, rest does not exist. Even when a person is dead, then the body continues its processes.

You may not have heard -- sometimes it happens: Mohammedans, Christians, those people who bury their dead in the ground, sometimes come to know that the person is dead but his beard has grown, his hairs have become longer, his nails have grown. The person is dead!

Now this is very weird. If you shave a man and put him in the grave and after six months you open the grave and he has a beard... now what to say, whether he is alive or dead? And you will be very much afraid; you will escape home, and that face will haunt you in the night. What has happened? If the man is dead then how come his beard has grown? And if his beard can grow, is he really dead or not -- just pretending?

Life is millions of processes. Even when your ego disappears from this base, takes off from this airport, and lands in some other womb, many processes continue still. All processes don't stop, because there are many processes which have nothing to do with your ego; nothing to do with your ego -- your ego can go and they will continue. Hairs growing, nails growing, have nothing to do....

And, immediately, the moment your ego leaves, millions of small microbes will become alive and they will start working and functioning. You will be almost like a marketplace. You will be fully alive in that way. Much will be happening: many microbes running, rushing here and there, making love, marriages, dying, and everything will be happening. The moment you leave the body, your body becomes a landing ground for many other people who were waiting and who were saying, 'Please leave! Let us come in.'

Life is a continuous process -- not only process but processes, a continuity.

Buddha says the very idea of self is because of language. You feel hungry: in language we say 'I am hungry'. Language creates the idea of I. How to say it? To be exactly right you can only say 'hunger'. 'I am hungry' is bringing something absolutely false in it. 'Hunger' -- that's enough.

Watch your processes and you will feel it. When you feel hungry today, just watch it. Is there really somebody who is hungry or is there just hunger? And is it just a language pattern that gives it a twist and divides it in two, and you start feeling 'I am hungry'?

Buddhism is the first religion which brought this message to the world -- that your religions, your philosophies, are more grounded in your linguistic patterns than in anything else. And if you can understand your language better, you will be able to understand your inner processes better. He was the first linguist, and his insight is tremendously meaningful.

YOU SAY THAT BUDDHA WOULD NOT SPEAK OF GOD BECAUSE IT

CANNOT BE PROVEN.

Yes, he would not speak about god because it cannot be proven and he would not speak about god because the god that you think exists, exists not. Your god is again the same old fallacy of self. You think you have a self, so the whole universe must have a self. Because you have a self, the whole universe must have a supreme self. That supreme self is god.

Buddha says you don't have any self. The universe is, but there is no supreme self in it... millions of processes, but no supreme self. There is no center to it; it is all circumference.

Very difficult to catch hold of it -- unless you meditate. That's why Buddha never goes into metaphysical discussions; he says, 'Meditate.' Because in meditation these things become so clear. When thinking stops, suddenly you see the thinker has disappeared. It was a shadow. And when the thinker disappears, how can you say, how can you feel 'I am'? There is no 'I' left, you are pure space. That's what Buddha calls anatta, the pure space of no self. It is a tremendous experience.

... YET IN THE NEXT BREATH HE SPEAKS OF OTHER LIVES AND

REINCARNATION.

He speaks, and Buddhists have always been in trouble because of it. Buddha is so scientific that he cannot twist the fact. If he was not such a scientific man, if he was just a metaphysician, either he would have accepted self to make his whole philosophy look consistent, or he would have dropped the idea of reincarnation, because both things look contradictory. But he is such a scientist that he will not enforce anything from his mind on reality. He simply stated the fact. If it is contradictory, he says, 'Maybe it is contradictory, but it is so.'

This is what is happening in modern science. Just fifty years ago, when scientists entered into the innermost core of matter, they were very puzzled, because the electrons were behaving in a very illogical way.

Now you cannot force electrons to be logical, you cannot send them to the university to learn Aristotle and you cannot tell them, 'You are behaving illogically, so behave! this is not correct.' You cannot say that. If they are behaving illogically, they are behaving illogical!y -- you have to understand it, that's all; nothing can be done.

And the illogic was REALLY great, it was no ordinary matter. Sometimes the same electron would behave like a wave and sometimes it would behave like a quanta, like a particle. Now the two things are impossible, they are non-euclidian and non-aristotelean -- as if these electrons don't believe in Euclid and Aristotle.

What are they doing? Have they never heard of Euclid?

It is simply geometry, we have all learned in school -- that a dot cannot be a line and a line cannot be a dot. A line is many dots put together in sequence, so a single dot cannot behave like a line, otherwise the whole geometry will be disturbed. You put a dot and you go to the bathroom, you come back and it has become a line! Then what will you do?

But this is exactly what is happening in the innermost core of matter. You go on watching and it was looking like a dot and suddenly it is a line. And the jump is such that you don't see it even growing into a line.

In one instant of time it is a dot, in another instant of time it is a line -- not even growing into a line, just a jump... so sudden, so illogical. If it grows slowly, we can understand that too: maybe it is like a seed, sprouting and becoming a tree.

Okay, we can understand. In one moment of time it is a seed, in another moment of time it grows, by and by and by and by, gradually, and becomes a tree. We can understand.

If a dot becomes a line slowly, we will be able to understand. But suddenly? And not only suddenly, even more illogical is this: that two observers in a single moment of time, simultaneously can observe -- one can observe it as a dot and another can observe it as a line. Now what to do? One observer seeing it as a seed and another seeing it as a tree? In a single moment of time.

The whole of western science has grown out of greek logic. These electrons were rebelling against Aristotle, and there was no way to put them right. Scientists tried in many ways, because mind tends to cling to its own concepts, patterns. It is not so easy to relax and surrender to these stupid electrons.

For almost two, three decades, scientists were puzzled and they were trying to find out some way to explain it, or at least to explain it away, why it is happening. But finally they had to concede to the fact and they accepted it.

Hence the theory of quantum physics.

Quanta: the very word was invented; it had never existed before because never has man come across such an illogical phenomenon. Quanta means a dot and line together, simultaneously. Quanta means a particle and a wave together, simultaneously. We had to find a name for something which was absolutely illogical and we had no symbol for it.

And when people ask scientists, 'How do you explain it? -- it is illogical,' they say,'It is illogical but it is so and we cannot do anything. We have to listen to reality. If reality is illogical, then something must be wrong with our logic, that's all. We can change the logic, but we cannot change the reality.'

That's what happened when Buddha came into the world. He entered into the innermost core of your so-called self and he was also puzzled -- what to do?

There is no self, and there is reincarnation. Now if he was not really such a great scientist, and if he was just an ordinary philosopher, then he would have forgotten; he would not have talked about this fact at all -- he would have chosen. The choice is simple: either you say there is no reincarnation because there is no self....

That's what people who don't believe in the soul have always been saying. The atheists, charvakas, they have always been saying that there is no self -- when you die you simply die, nothing survives, and there is no rebirth. That's simple, logical. Or there are eternalists, theists, people who believe in the self. They say that you die but only the body dies; your self, your center survives. Your soul, your atma survives; it is eternal. That too is logical.

Buddha is very illogical and he is illogical because his insistence not to go against reality is absolute. His emphasis is this: that whatsoever reality reveals we have to listen to it. We are not here to impose our own ideologies on it. Who are we?

If this is the fact, then something is wrong in our logic, in our language, in our very way of thinking. We have to change that rather than avoiding reality, escaping reality. So he seems to be the most absurd thinker in the world, because this is one of the most absurd statements -- that you don't exist but you are reborn.

You can see it clearly, it is absurd. If you don't exist how can you be reborn? And he says, 'That I don't know. You don't exist and you are reborn -- that much I know, that I have come to see, that I have seen. And if you want to see it, meditate. Go deeper into your being as I have gone into my being and you will also be puzzled, very much confused. But by and by you will settle with the reality. And then you will change your whole language.'

Buddha changed the whole language, the whole philosophical style. There has never been such an original man before. It was almost impossible to understand him because he was not speaking the same language as you speak, and he was bringing some new visions into the world.

The person who does not believe in the soul is very old, nothing new in it. Marx is not saying anything new. For thousands of years there have been atheists who have denied soul, who have denied rebirth. Neither Mahavir nor Patanjali are saying anything new, because there have always been people who have believed in the soul and reincarnation.

Buddha is bringing a real vision, very original. He says: there is no soul and yet there is reincarnation. It is a quantum jump.

So when I say that he is a scientist, I mean it. And if you understand the language of modern physics, you will be able to understand Buddha. In fact, to understand Buddha without understanding modern physics is impossible. For the first time, modern physics has provided a parallel. Heisenberg, Planck, and Einstein, they have provided a parallel. Matter has disappeared; there is only energy, with no self in it, no substance in it. And what Buddha says is the same: anatta, no self.

HOW DOES THIS FIT INTO SCIENTIFIC FACT?

It fits perfectly. In fact, when Nirgrantha is asking how it fits into scientific fact, his idea of science is of the nineteenth century; he is not aware of modern science, he is not aware of the latest developments. His idea of science is very orthodox, very old, out of date. Science has changed tremendously.

If Newton comes back, he will not be able to understand science at all, because science has changed so fast, and its insight has become so puzzling that scientists are speaking like metaphysicians, mystics. They are not talking now like mathematicians, they are talking like mystics and poets.

I VAGUELY UNDERSTAND THAT IT CAN BE THE FORMLESS THAT

REMAINS.

No, you will not be able to understand it intellectually, because your formless will again be of a certain form. How can you conceive the formless? The word is okay, but the moment you try to conceive the formless, immediately it starts taking a form -- because only form can be conceived; the formless cannot be conceived. It is an empty word.

You can go on calling god formless, but you cannot conceive it. And whenever even people like Shankara, who talk about a formless god, go to worship, they go to worship before a form. Then they start singing Bhaj Govindam Muramatee.

Then again there is a statue, a ritual, a god, a goddess, a form.

Even a man like Shankara goes on talking about the formless, the attributeless --

the nirguna -- but his worship, his prayer, is of the saguna -- with attribute, with form -- because it is impossible to conceive the formless. Conception is only of the form; or whatsoever you can conceive, by the very possibility of its being conceived, it will take a form. So it is just a vague idea.

Nirgrantha says, I VAGUELY UNDERSTAND THAT IT CAN BE THE

FORMLESS THAT REMAINS.

No, it is not a question of vaguely comprehending. Intellectually there is no way.

The way is only meditative, existential. You don't figure it out through intellect, you simply move more into meditation, open a new dimension of vision.

Nobody has emphasized meditation as much as Buddha. His whole method is meditation.

And what is meditation? Meditation is by and by becoming thoughtless; not falling into sleep -- remaining alert and yet becoming thoughtless. Once thoughts disappear, everything is crystal clear -- that the thinker was just a by-product of moving thoughts. It was a bundle of thoughts and nothing else. It had no separate existence.

Then you walk, but the walker is no more there; then you eat, but the eater is no more there; then you sleep, but the sleeper is no more there; then you live, but there is nobody who is living; then you die, and there is nobody who is dying.

You are just a pure space in which millions of processes exist, in which life flows with all its processes and you remain uncorrupted by it. You are like an open sky... clouds come and go.

One of the most beautiful names given to Buddha is tathagata. It means 'thus came, thus gone'. There was no one who came and there was no one who has gone -- just coming and going. That is the meaning of tathagata -- just a process of coming and a process of going; there was no one who has come and no one who has gone.

Zen masters have always been saying that this man never existed, this man called Gautam the Buddha never existed. Yes, he came certainly, and he went also, but he never existed. It is just like a dream process. A dream comes and goes and by the morning you know it never existed.

Once you understand yourself as pure space and many things happening, you become detached. Then you become fearless, because there is nothing to lose, there is nobody to lose anything. Then you are no more full of lust for life, because you don't conceive of any self. Then you are not afraid of death and you are not in a lust for life. Then you don't think of the past and then you don't project the future. Then you simply are -- as pure as the vast sky outside; you also become a pure sky inside. And the meeting of these two skies, the inner and the outer, is what Buddha calls nirvana.

I VAGUELY UNDERSTAND THAT IT CAN BE THE FORMLESS THAT

REMAINS, BUT CAN THAT HAVE AN INDIVIDUAL ENTITY?

No, it has no individual entity.

THE SAME WAVE IS NOT REBORN.

True. In fact, if you watch closely -- go to the river or to the ocean and watch waves; you will be surprised to see something new that you never thought of before. When you see a wave coming towards you, nothing is coming, the wave never comes to you. You see it moving towards you; it is not moving. One wave simply helps other waves to arise by the side. The other wave helps another wave to arise. But it happens so fast that it creates a mirage, an illusion -- you think the same wave is coming towards you. Nothing is coming towards you.

When one wave arises, by the impact of that wave other waves arise; just in the close vicinity, another wave. By the force of the first wave, second wave; by the force of the second wave, third wave; by the force of the third, the fourth -- that's how waves arise. But they give an illusion as if the same wave is coming towards you. They never come. When you see a wave arising far away there on the horizon, it remains there; it never comes to you.

It can happen: you can put a driftwood just in the middle of the river: that driftwood will come to you, but don't be deceived by it -- the wave is not coming. When one wave goes high, that driftwood moves to the other wave; the other wave goes high, it moves with the third wave. With the rising and falling waves the driftwood comes to the shore, but the waves never come. This is a scientific fact. They only appear to be reaching.

Right, precisely, that is what Buddha is saying. THE SAME WAVE IS NOT

REBORN. He is not saying you will be reborn, he simply says there is a rebirth.

But in a way we can say you will be born, because it will be a continuity. The same wave: wave A creates wave B, wave B creates wave C -- it is a continuity; a continuum is the right word. That too comes from modern physics: continuum.

Buddha calls it santati. Just as a child is born to you: he is you in a certain way, and yet not you, not totally you. He will have his own personality, but you created the wave. It is father's and mother's energy creating a new wave. This wave will go -- the father may die, the mother may die -- this wave will continue, and this wave will create other waves in its own way, in its own time.

Santati, continuum. You are not born, only your desires are born again; because you are not, so you cannot be born. Hence, Buddha says, if you drop desiring you will be never born again. Hence, if you understand the whole futility of desire and you stop desiring, you drop desiring, then there will be no birth for you.

Then, first you become a srotapanna, you enter into the stream, you start understanding how things are, what things are: life processes with no self. This is what he means by becoming a srotapanna, entering the stream: entering into the idea of the stream -- that life is like a river, not static but dynamic; no things but only events; a dynamism, an energy phenomenon.

Then, by and by, as you move deeper into this stream you become a skridagamin

-- only once more will you be born. You understand, but yet your understanding is not total. Then you become an anagamin -- you will not be born again. You have understood the whole phenomenon. In that very understanding you are liberated.

By becoming capable of not being born again, you become an arhat -- one who has achieved, one who has arrived. Now I am using a language which is not buddhist, so beware. I have to use a language which is not buddhist, so I am using terms -- I say, 'one has arrived'. Now, there is no other way to say it, but you have to understand: when I say 'one has arrived', there is no 'one', only

'arrival'... only 'arriving', not even 'arrival'.

Buddha's vision is very existential and nothing is as liberating as Buddha's vision. Because if you believe in a soul you can leave the world, but then you will desire paradise -- because you don't leave your self. Desire shifts into a new dimension. You drop greed, but really you don't drop it -- subtle greed arises.

Just see the paradise of Mohammedans or Christians or Hindus. It looks so worldly, so profane. Because whatsoever these religions are telling you to drop here, is provided there, and in bulk. They say, 'Don't drink alcohol!' and in the Mohammedan paradise, phirdous, rivers of alcohol are there. There is no need to purchase or buy, there is no need to carry a license; you just jump in. You can bath, you can swim. Now, what is this?

In Mohammedan countries, homosexuality has been very much prevalent, so even that is provided for. Not only beautiful women are there, but beautiful boys are also provided. Now this looks ugly, but ordinary human mind....

Whatsoever you are dropping here, you are dropping only to get more -- this is the logic.

Beautiful women -- apsaras Hindus call them, houris Mohammedans call them...

and not only houris but gilmis, beautiful boys, handsome boys also are available, because a few homosexuals will reach; what will they do?

Buddha says unless you drop the self, you will go on perpetuating the same nonsense again and again. Your paradise will be nothing but a projected world --

the same world modified, made more beautiful, more decorated. Here on the earth women age, become old. In paradise, in the hindu paradise, they never become old; they are stuck at the age of sixteen. They must be feeling very fed up

-- at the age of sixteen; they never grow beyond that.

In fact, that is the desire of every woman -- to get stuck at sixteen. It never happens here, but there.... After sixteen women grow very reluctantly: in three, four years, only once their birthday comes. Very reluctantly.... But that has been the desire -- to make beauty permanent.

Here it is impossible. Even with all the scientific gadgets, instrumentation, methods of beautification, plastic surgery, this and that, even then it is not possible. One has to age. In paradise -- hindu, mohammedan, christian, jewish --

that miracle has happened: god has prepared a beautiful walled garden paradise for you. He is waiting. If you are virtuous, if you obey him, you will be rewarded tremendously; if you disobey, then the hell.

So the self exists here as the center of desire and god exists as the center of fulfilling that desire. Buddha says both are not, get rid of both; neither god is, nor self is. Look at reality, don't move in desires. Drop fantasies, stop dreaming and look at what is. And he says there is only this impermanent world of processes --

this flux-like world, this vortex of reality... everything impermanent and changing, nothing is permanent.

That is the meaning of his insistence that there is no self, because you are trying to make something in you permanent. You say, the body changes, okay; the world changes, okay; relationships change, become rotten, okay -- but the self, the self is eternal. Yes, this visible world changes -- but the invisible god, he is eternal. You want something eternal so desperately that you start believing in it.

It is your desire that the eternal should be there.

Buddha says there is nothing eternal. Everything is impermanent, everything is in flow. Understand this, and this very understanding will liberate you.

Remember, when others talk of liberation, they talk of liberation for the self.

When Buddha talks of liberation, he talks of liberation FROM the self. And that is a tremendously radical standpoint. Not that you will be liberated, but liberated from you.

The only freedom that Buddha says is real freedom is freedom from you.

Otherwise your mind will go on playing games. It will go on painting new desires on new canvases. Nothing will change. Canvases you can change. You can get out of the marketplace and sit in a temple -- nothing will change, your mind will project the same desires in heaven and paradise.

Look at this mind. Look at its desires. Watch, become aware. Again and again I will have to remind you, because I am talking in non-buddhist language. So when Buddha says become aware, he means: be awareness. There is nobody who becomes aware, there is only awareness.

Yes, you will never be born again, but if you carry the idea that you are, then you will remain in a continuum. If you drop the idea of the self, the continuum disappears; you evaporate.

That's what nirvana is. Just as if you put off a lamp and the light ceases, disappears, you put off your desiring mind and all misery, and all transmigration, and all suffering, ceases. Suddenly, you are not there.

But that does not mean that nothing is, otherwise there will be no difference between a charvak and a Buddhist, then there will be no difference between the atheist and Buddha. There is tremendous difference. He says you cease and for the first time reality takes over. But he never gives it any name, because naming is not possible -- to name it is to falsify it. To say it is, is to be untrue to it. He keeps quiet, absolutely silent about it. He indicates the way how to experience it.

He does not spin and weave a philosophy around it.

Question 2

YOU HAVE TOLD US MANY TIMES: BE SELFISH. WHAT IS IT TO BE

SELFISH?

Drop the self. Because that is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you.

That will be the greatest contentment that can come to you.

Drop the self, if you really are selfish. If you really want to be blissful, drop the self -- because self is creating all your miseries and all your hells.

Difficult, because it looks like a paradox. But have you watched? All miseries come to you because of your self, because of the ego. You are hurt again and again, you suffer so much because of the ego. It is like a wound which remains always alive, and anything, even a breeze, a cool breeze, hurts you. Somebody smiles and it hurts, somebody laughs and it hurts, somebody is going on his way, maybe lost in his own thoughts, not looking at you, then it hurts.

Mulla Nasrudin was saying to his wife, 'Don't annoy me any more! You are irritating me!' And he was really mad.

The wife said, 'But I have not said a single thing. I am doing my work.'

Mulla said, 'That's why. You are keeping so quiet, it is annoying. For god's sake, say something!'

Now, if you keep quiet, then too somebody can get annoyed. If you speak, then there is trouble. Ego is ready to be hurt; it will find ways and means to be hurt.

So a person who lives with the ego, with the self, is not really a selfish person, he is a foolish person. Because he only suffers. What type of selfless selfishness is this, if you only suffer?

I show you the way: drop the self. Forget all about the ego. Be as if you are not, exist as an emptiness, and see -- millions of beautiful experiences become available to you. Everything becomes a deep, satisfying experience. Everything brings a gift, a grace. Everything becomes a benediction.

The ego is always expecting and hence always being frustrated. The non-egoistic person expects nothing, hence everything is fulfilling; whatsoever happens is tremendous, whatsoever happens is fantastic. Even if he comes across a small grass flower, he is hypnotised by it. 'So beautiful a flower! And I have not done anything, I have not deserved it, and it is there just waiting for me.' Just looking at the sky, and he is fulfilled. Just listening to the birds, and a great song arises in his heart. Then everything fulfils him.

Remember, frustration is out of expectation, and ego is always expecting. The ego is a beggar.

I have heard a beautiful sufi story.

A beggar came to an emperor and the beggar said, 'If you are going to give me anything there is a condition.' The emperor had seen many beggars -- but beggars with conditions? And this beggar was really strange, a very powerful man. He was a sufi mystic. He had charm, a charisma, his personality had an aura. Even the emperor felt a little jealous. And conditions?!

The emperor said, 'What do you mean? What do you mean by your condition?'

The beggar said, 'This is my condition: I accept only if you can fill my begging bowl absolutely.'

It was a small begging bowl. The King said, 'What do you think I am? Am I a beggar? I cannot fill this dirty small begging bowl?'

The beggar said, 'It is better to tell you before, because later you can get into trouble. If you think you can fill, fill.'

The King called his vizier and told him to fill it with precious stones: with diamonds and rubies, emeralds. Let this beggar know with whom he is talking!

But then there was difficulty. The bowl was filled but the king was surprised -- as the stone fell into it, it would disappear. It was filled many times and each time it was again empty. Now he was in a great rage, but he told the vizier, 'Even if my whole kingdom goes, if all my treasuries are emptied, let them be -- but I cannot allow this beggar to defeat me. This is too much.'

And all the treasures, it is said, disappeared. By and by the king became a beggar. It took months. And the beggar was there and the king was there and the whole capital was there and everybody was wondering what was going to happen, what would happen in the end. Everything was simply disappearing.

Finally the king had to fall at the feet of the beggar and he said, 'Forgive me, but before you leave just tell me one thing. What is the secret of this begging bowl?

All has disappeared in it.'

The beggar started laughing. He said, 'It is made of human ego. I have made this begging bowl of a human ego: everything disappears in it, nothing ever fulfils it.'

It is a tremendously beautiful story. That's what is happening to you. It is not a story, it is your life. You go on putting in your begging bowl houses, cars, bank balances -- everything disappears. Again you are empty. Never any satisfaction, never any contentment. Again you are begging. You have been doing it for many lives. It is your story. It is literally true, it is not just symbolically true. It is a truth in everybody's life, in every man's life.

We remain a beggar. The begging bowl remains empty. It seems it has no bottom to it. You drop anything, it simply disappears.

The ego is never fulfilled. So the egoist is a person who is very unselfish.

Remember this paradox: the egoist is a person who is very unselfish, because he is never fulfilled. The non-egoist is a person who is very selfish because he is fulfilled. He attains to bliss.

Question 3

DAILY YOU COME FOLDED-HANDED, SMILING, AND THE SAME WAY

YOU GO BACK AFTER THE LECTURE. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS

GESTURE?

I am saying, come smiling, go smiling. That is the meaning of tathagatha: thus come, thus gone. Let this coming and going be just a smile, nothing more substantial than a smile. A smile is the most non-substantial thing in the world.

You cannot catch hold of it; it slips, it is elusive, ineffable. Let your life be just a smile. Come smiling, go smiling.

And, of course, folded-handed, otherwise somebody can get hurt. If you smile without your hands folded, somebody's ego can get hurt. He can say, 'What do you mean? Smiling at me?' So just to protect any misinterpretation....

But don't try to make it an empty gesture, because a smile which is false is one of the most dangerous things to learn. Never smile falsely, because once you start smiling falsely, you will forget how to smile authentically. Never corrupt your smile. Otherwise it is just a pretension, and a very dangerous pretension; not only that you are deceiving others, you may be deceiving yourself.

Let your smile be just out of your inner emptiness, let it come from the very core of your no-self and spread around you. Let it be like a flower that comes from the very roots, the sap runs through the roots to the very peak and flowers. Let your smile come from your very authentic existential core. It should not be painted.

I have heard:

Recently an elderly and devout Jew gave his children fits. They thought he had converted to Christianity, because he seemed to cross himself every time he left the house.

'Nonsense!' he said when they confronted him. 'I touch my right side to make sure I have my glasses, and my left to be sure I have my handkerchief. I put my hand to my head to make sure my yammulka is on, and I touch my fly to make sure it is buttoned.'

Your cross can be like that. Your smile can also be like that. Never make futile gestures. Be true. Even true sadness is better than a false smile -- at least it is true.

A true tear is better than an untrue laughter -- at least it is true, authentic, it helps you grow. One grows through authenticity.

So I am not saying learn smiling, I am saying attain to smile. I am not saying learn, I am saying, attain, rise to smile.

Question 4

AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE A SHEEP, AT TIMES LIKE A FOX, SOMETIMES MORE

LIKE A DISCIPLE. IS IT LOVE OR UNDERSTANDING THAT TRANSFORMS

ONE INTO A DISCIPLE?

It is a true observation. That's how everyone is. It is from Prem Asheesh. It is an authentic observation. That's how things are.

AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE A SHEEP...

And if you are like a sheep, you cannot be a disciple. Of course many sheep think that they are disciples. If it is only because of fear that you follow me, you follow your fear, you don't follow me. I am not here to make sheep out of you. The society, the politicians, the priests have done enough damage -- no more is needed. You have been reduced to cowards down the centuries; everybody has been there forcing you to be a coward. Everybody has forced you into a frightened existence; you are always trembling.

I am here to help you to drop this trembling. There is nothing to fear because there is nothing to lose. There is nothing to fear even with death, because there is nobody to die. No harm can be done to you. Once you understand this, the sheep disappears. The sheep can be a follower but not a disciple.

And a follower is not necessarily a disciple. A follower is just finding ways and means to protect himself, to be secure. A follower is trying just to throw responsibility onto somebody else's shoulders. The follower is simply trying to find a group where he can be lost and his own fears are no more there, where he is not alone. He is simply seeking company. He cannot be alone, he is afraid to be alone. He cannot trust himself. A follower is one who cannot trust himself.

A disciple is one who trusts himself. Out of his trust he comes to learn from somebody who has gone a little further than himself. He is not a follower, he is not an imitator and he is not seeking security -- he is seeking understanding.

Even if that understanding brings more insecurity, he is ready for it.

A follower is never ready for insecurity; he comes to a guru, to a master, to seek protection, shelter, to hide behind him. He is seeking a father figure.

A disciple is seeking a master, not a father figure. He wants to learn what life is.

Even if life is insecurity, he is ready to learn. Even if life implies death, he is ready to learn.

The follower just wants a map. The disciple wants to go on an adventure. He is not worried about the map, he simply wants a challenge. 'Challenge me!' says the disciple. 'Pull me out of my stupor,' says the disciple. 'Send me on a venture,'

says the disciple. The follower says, 'Protect me, never leave me alone. Without you I am lost. Don't send me away! Just let me hide behind you.'

Remember, the disciple is a seeker, the follower is simply sick with fear.

AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE A SHEEP...

Those are the times you cannot be a disciple, at least not to me.

AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE A FOX.

Yes, a fox can also not be a disciple. A fox is a very cunning fellow, calculating, rational. The fox mind is always in search of more information, more knowledge

-- not more understanding. The fox mind is just grabbing whatsoever can be grabbed from every source so he becomes more knowledgeable. Because knowledge brings power.

The fox is in search of power. The sheep is in search of a powerful person who can protect, and the fox is in search of power. The fox pretends to be a sheep many times just to grab a little more from somebody, but deep down the fox is learning only to become more egoistic.

There are people who come to a master just to become a master sooner or later --

that's their only goal. They don't come to learn; in fact, deep down they have come to teach. Reluctantly they learn, because it is difficult to teach without learning.

The fox is too cunning to be humble. The fox is too cunning and knowledgeable and calculating to move in a deeper relationship with a master, to move in love.

The sheep cannot be a disciple because the sheep is too much afraid; the fox cannot be a disciple because the fox deep down is on a power-trip.

But these both are there. And Asheesh has really watched it rightly, exactly rightly.

AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE A SHEEP, AT TIMES LIKE A FOX. ONLY SOMETIMES

LIKE A DISCIPLE.

Precious are those moments when you feel like a disciple. Nourish them. Those moments have to be nourished more and more, so by and by they come more and more to you, they happen more and more to you. Surrender your sheep and fox both to those rare moments when you are a disciple.

A disciple is neither afraid, nor in search of power. A disciple is in search to know what this life is. He does not want to conquer, he does not want to prove himself in the world that he is somebody, he simply wants to know, 'Who am I?'

He is not in any way interested in proving, he simply wants to know, 'What is this mystery that has happened to me?' In deep humbleness he asks.

His query is not of curiosity, his query is not only of enquiry, his query is that of an authentic seeker, a mumukshu. His query is mumuksha -- passionate desire to know what life is. A disciple is one who is in passionate love with life and wants to know what this life is, wants to enter in this mystery.

IS IT LOVE OR UNDERSTANDING THAT TRANSFORMS ONE INTO A DISCIPLE?

Love alone will not make you a disciple. Understanding alone will also not make you a disciple. It is loving understanding that makes you a disciple. If you simply understand me, you will remain far away; there will be a distance, because there will be no bridge. Without love there is no bridge. You will understand, but your understanding will remain dry. You will not be connected with me; I will not be flowing in you, you will not allow my flow, you will not allow me to flood you, to transform you. You will remain aloof, mathematical.

And just love alone won't help, because love is so happy that it forgets to understand. Love is so celebrating, it forgets to understand. It gets so involved in love that there is no detachment to understand.

Understanding with a master happens only when you are detached enough to understand, and yet related enough to understand. A bridge exists: I call it loving understanding. Then you participate with me, then you are thrilled with me -- but that thrill does not drown you, that thrill does not make you a drunkard. You drink me as much as you can, but still you remain alert, aware; you are not lost in it.

It is a very paradoxical state -- loving understanding. Then you are in a deep participation with me, and yet you remain separate; you are one with me and yet you are separate. Only then, and only then, you become a disciple.

Question 5

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MUMMY, A MOTHER, AND A MA?

I don't know much, but I will try my level best. A mummy is one who is pretending to be a mother, but is not; who thinks to be a mother, but is not.

Because to be a mother is very very difficult. To be a mummy is very easy. Just to reproduce is enough to be a mummy. No understanding is needed.

The whole world is full of mummies, but to find a mother is very difficult. A mother is one who helps you to be yourself. The mummy is one who thinks, believes that she loves you, but loves really herself, and wants you to become a projection of her ambition. That's what a daddy is also.

Mummy and daddy you can find everywhere; they have corrupted the whole world -- mummies and daddies. Freud says if you go deep into neurosis you will always find a mummy in the end. All psychoanalysis verges, finally, on some problem which the mother -- the mummy -- has created. So mummy is the pretension of a mother -- the physical counterpart of the spiritual mother.

To be a mother is very difficult. Only one who has arrived home can be a mother.

To give birth is very easy, it is just natural, biological; but to be a mother is something spiritual.

The mummy would like you to follow her, she would like to possess you -- to make you become a part, a precious possession to her. She will cling around you.

The mother will help you to become independent. She will help you to become individual. She will love you, but she will not try to force anything on you. She will give her love to you, but will not give her knowledge to you. She will send you into the world to find your own truth, to find your own life. She will not give you a pattern or a mould. She will not structure you, she will simply help you, whatsoever you can be.

The mother is just the ideal, it rarely happens. Mummy you can find anywhere.

The mother is just the ideal, the utopian ideal -- one who can give birth to your soul. Only a Buddha can be a mother, or a Meera can be a mother, or a Krishna, or a Mohammed can be a mother -- only one who can give you your soul, your destiny.

Mummy is just biological. The concept of mother is spiritual. And Ma is very simple to understand. Ma is a woman who is suffering from a disease called Rajneeshitis!

Table of Contents

Chapter title: The most excellent way

Chapter title: The greatest miracle

Chapter title: Only nothing is

Chapter title: Two empty skies meeting

Chapter title: Be therefore mindful

Chapter title: Nothing is lacking

Chapter title: Living the dhamma

Chapter title: Sincerity in the search

Chapter title: The truth beyond magic