The Great Nothing

Talks given from 19/9/76 to 11/10/76

Darshan Diary

CHAPTER 1

19 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin who is leaving says: I am facing new things which I have not faced before.]

Very good. This new space is your reality. Whatsoever you have known up to now was not really you. It was the identity given by others – the parents, the society, the world. Now you are coming to encounter yourself.

Sometimes it will be very scary – so remember it. Sometimes you will feel that you are losing your identity... getting lost. So remember, that is how it has to be – and go into it. Lose all track of yourself, and then for the first time you will be back home. You have to dissolve into this new space.

There is going to be a great struggle between the old and the new. Ahead there is going to be almost a war within you, because the new will try to spread all over you, and the old will try to resist, to fight it back, not to allow it to happen. There is going to be a conflict, a wrestling, between you and you, your past and your future, that which you have been up to now and that which you are going to be from now on.

So always remember that the past has to be dropped and the future has to be chosen. It is risky...

the past is very secure, comfortable, convenient – but it is dead. It is like a grave. If you choose it, you choose death.

The future is very scary, frightening, but it is open. It is alive. It is adventure. Risk is there, insecurity is there, but that’s how life flowers – in insecurity. That’s how life comes to be integrated – in risk.

The more risk you take, the more grounded you are. Each moment will be a thrill – sometimes very frightening, sometimes very blissful. I can promise only one thing – that it will be a constant thrill, frightening or blissful, but it .will be a thrill. Each moment you will be coming upon something new.

It will be a constant wonder. It will be both a wandering and a wondering.

From now onwards it will be very difficult for you to know who you are. This new space will destroy all old identities, past formulations of your being, boundaries, demarcations, definitions. This new space is very dangerous. It is like death. It can spread all over you. It is going to kill you utterly, completely. But in that very destruction is creation. In that very destruction you will start having a new life which is eternal... which knows no beginning and no end... which is not of this world, and which is not of time and which is not of mind.

So if you can dare, the benediction is very close by. If you are ready to be crucified, the resurrection is waiting for you. So help this new spirit to grow. Help this new spirit to overpower you, to overwhelm you, to efface you completely and to erase you completely. That’s what meditation is all about.

... whenever out of nothingness you feel an urgency to come. come, mm?

... I am this new space. So cooperate with it and you will be cooperating with me. Surrender to it and you will be surrendering to me....

[A sannyasin says: I even stopped meditation. I don’t do it, and I was feeling disturbed about that.

Everything seems to be routine, dull. I don’t know what to do with it. I want to know what it’s all about.]

Just accept this state. Don’t condemn it. Don’t say that there is no enthusiasm, don’t say that it is dull – because these very words are antagonistic. They show a dislike – that you would like to be enthusiastic but there is no enthusiasm. You would like to be interested in many things and there is no interest. You would like to be very sharp and everything is dull.

Accept it so totally that there is no judgement. This is the way you are. And in fact what is there to be interested in life? The truth is that there is nothing much. What is there? It is a dull routine.

Just accept it and it will be a tremendous help. I’m not saying that by accepting it the enthusiasm will come back – no. I’m simply saying that by accepting it, you will not feel it as a lack of enthusiasm.

You will feel it as a sort of relaxation – the whole attitude changes. Then you will not call it dullness, you will call it a non-ambitiousness. And it makes a lot of difference what you call it.

There is a saying of Lao Tzu that the whole world seems to be very sharp and intelligent – only he is dull. But he was joking. He was saying that the whole world seems to be foolishly interested –

running and rushing here and there – for nothing!

Something has started to happen to you through meditation. That’s why you are feeling no interest.

A sort of renunciation is arising. So just go on working and remain uninterested – there is nothing to be interested in. By and by a great benediction will arise in you. Right now you are feeling restless because you feel that something is wrong. Once you accept it, the restlessness disappears and nothing is wrong. Then this is the way you are, and this is the way you have to grow.

As I can see, your energy is better than ever. As I can see, it is more settled, but this very settlement is giving you trouble. Even if interest in meditation has disappeared, let it go. There is no need to force meditation. This is the way meditation will happen to you.

Just sit silently. When you have nothing to do, just sit silently. Thoughts move in the mind – let them.

Just be a watcher, and that too, not with a stress, with no tension. What else to do? Thoughts are moving and you are there, so you see them, but there is no need to concentrate. Just a very soft look... an unfocused look.

For three months be in this dullness. This dullness is going to function as a meditation. This is the way renunciation is coming to you. You will feel indifferent to many things – they are worthless. In fact the problem was that before you were feeling so interested and now you are not, so you think that something is missing. The problem was before, not now.

When a person becomes a little quiet, many things disappear and look foolish. Why go to the hotel and to the club and talk nonsense to people and wear masks and show faces and smile? For what?

What is the point of it all?

This is good. So put your energy into your work, and the remaining time simply sit and rest, close your eyes. If you welcome this state, this state will give you great benefit. Great is going to be the pay-off, so don’t reject it. And read more and more Lao Tzu in these three months; that will be the right background. Just read a few lines from anywhere.

His whole tape is that whatsoever is, is good – his renunciation is tremendous. Even Buddha and Mahavir, their renunciation is not so total because they are still interested in achieving something –

maybe not in the world; they are interested in enlightenment.

Lao Tzu says, ’All nonsense! The world is nonsense – enlightenment too!’ He simply sits there doing nothing.

Just see the beauty of it. No interest means no desire. No enthusiasm means no passion, no fever, no madness. You are becoming saner, but you have been insane for so long that the sanity will look a little weird. You will have to get accustomed to it.

But I am happy. You may be dull – I bless you. Be really dull! And I don’t see restlessness. I see a certain tranquillity coming, a certain stillness descending on you. I can almost feel it and touch it; it is there. But you have a wrong attitude about it, so that is creating a barrier.

Drop that barrier and let it drown you completely, utterly.

[A sannyasin says:... the last conversation that I had with my father before he killed himself. It was about being a Jew and my feeling that I was on the outside.

I asked him what it meant to be a Jew, because he said to me that my feeling of being on the outside of things had to do with being a Jew. He said to be a Jew was to live in discontinuity.]

Mm mm.... In fact everybody on this earth is a Jew, because this whole world is something that doesn’t belong to us, and we don’t belong to it. We are wanderers, strangers, outsiders – man as such is an outsider. Do whatsoever, but you can never become an insider in this world because this world is unreal. You cannot become part of it because you come from reality. Man is a spirit and the world is material. We can go on playing the game, but we remain outsiders. We can try to forget ourselves, we can create a sort of oblivion, but it is just a trick; it doesn’t help. We are strangers.

This fact has to be realised. And that is the meaning of us being a discontinuity.

When we are in God, we are a continuity. When we are in the world, we are a discontinuity. We are uprooted from our soil... we are no more that which we could be. We are no more in the space that is ours – we are somewhere else. Hence everybody is seeking and searching – and every search is in vain, because if we search outside, we search in the world. And if we want to search inside, all search has to stop.

I have been watching you while you have been here, and this you have to remember – that your problem arises from your being a very serious seeker. Seeking means separation. Seeking means suffering. You can go on seeking, and it is all in vain. It is doomed from the very beginning, because deep inside you is the one you are seeking. The sought has become the seeker – that is the discontinuity.And when all seeking drops, withers away, and you have no more hopes, then suddenly you are there where you always wanted to be. Then suddenly you are centred.

Seeking leads you astray. And the more you seek, the more frustrated you feel. The more frustrated you feel, the more you seek. It becomes a vicious circle, self-supporting... goes on and on. There is no end to it – it can continue for eternity. One has to understand the very fallacy of search.

Seek and you will never find. Do not seek and it is there.

But it is very difficult to stop searching and seeking. It is very difficult to drop hope, because then it seems as if the whole thing is futile. If there is no hope, why should one live? For what? Where is the meaning? The meaning is herenow – it is not in the seeking. But the mind goes on saying that if you don’t seek, if you don’t make effort, if you don’t go for it, it is not going to happen.

The mind is nothing but hope and desire and passion for the future. The mind is a disease, a fever, a feverish state. You will have to understand it: the problem is the mind. And once you understand how it functions, how it projects a desire into the future and then starts rushing towards it.... And it goes on projecting like an horizon. It goes on rushing. It gives activity to you but no happiness; it keeps you occupied. But it is a slow suicide and nothing else.

So I would like you to ponder over the very mechanism of seeking, the mind, the process of the mind. Once you start looking at the mind and how it functions, then the whole game becomes clear.

Then one day in that very clarity, the mind disappears as if it had never existed. It disappears like a dream – and suddenly you are continuous again.

It is just like a dream. Tonight you will sleep. When you are asleep and you start dreaming, you are discontinuous with the world in which you have been living while awake. In sleep you are no more the same person. You are no more the mother, the wife, the beloved. You lose all the identity that you had before. A discontinuity happens. You start dreaming of something else – unfulfilled desires.

repressed desires.

In the morning you are awake again.

Now you are discontinuous with the dream-world, but

continuous with the waking world. Exactly the same is the case. We are dreaming in God. We are in God, but in a dream. That dream is the mind, and because of this mind we have become discontinuous with our own nature, with our own reality. Any day that you are awake, you are continuous again. In fact you have always been continuous. Even while asleep and dreaming, underneath the continuity remains, but on the surface one becomes discontinuous.

With God we are continuous, but we are not aware of it. As far as our conscious mind is concerned, we are discontinuous, and that creates suffering, because there is a deep urge to be united, to be one, to be in unison with existence. This mind creates a barrier: it always divides, separates –

so seeking is separation. The more you seek, the more separated you become. Even if you are seeking unity, that seeking will separate you. And seeking is suffering because the more you seek, the more frustrated you feel.

The real religion starts the day one comes to understand that this mind is the root cause of separation. God is herenow. It is already the case. You are not to achieve it and you are not to produce it; it has not to be manufactured. It is already the case... it has already happened. He is and He has always been, and He will always be.

Somehow we have got involved in dreams. That dream I call the world. And in that world we are all strangers and outsiders because our real home is somewhere else. But if you try it, in the beginning you will have to pass through a transitory period of tremendous hopelessness. You will miss your mind very much because that has been your whole life. For many lives that has been your whole occupation. You will miss it terribly. Those are the days of austerity. Those are the days of real sadhana – to accept it, to remain empty.

Even if it feels as if one is dropping into nothingness, one goes on dropping into that abyss. One makes no effort to come out of it, because that effort will mean bringing in the mind again. One simply goes on drowning in that emptiness. And one day when you are completely drowned, you will find that emptiness is not emptiness. It was just a wrong interpretation of the old mind. That nothingness was not nothingness.

That’s what Buddha calls nirvana – the great nothing. Tremendous is its beauty and immense is its grandeur... infinite is its benediction. But one has to prepare to go into that nothingness.

That’s my message for you. Drop seeking. Drop searching. Drop mentation. Dropping mentation is meditation.And accept nothingness. Be nobody. And in that very nobodiness, something will sprout.

Be nothing and in that very nothingness, God flowers.

All that we can do is to be nothing. Then the continuity happens on its own accord. What we are doing is just the opposite. We are trying to become somebody. And that becoming somebody is the cause of discontinuity. Only God is, so we cannot become somebody. If we are trying to become somebody, we are fighting with God. All ego is a fight against God, because only He can have the authentic ’I’. He is the centre of existence. All small ’i’s’ are just competitive – competing with the ultimate ’I’.

So the moment you become nobody, the moment you are ready to become a nothing, suddenly God erupts in you; your continuity is there again. And then you laugh, a great humour arises, because then you see the whole ridiculousness. This is what you were searching for – and it was because of the search that you were not getting it! The whole drama seems to be a great joke.

So don’t be serious. Bring a little sense of humour into your life. Let the ridiculous have a space within you. And by and by, rather than planning what to become, just be. Whatsoever is the case, enjoy it. Be joyous in it, celebrate it.

And this is a box for you....

[Osho hands hera small wooden box, one of which he gives to sannyasins on leaving Poona. Each box usually contains several hairs from Osho’s beard.]

This is an empty box. There is nothing in it – or there is only nothing in it... the great nothing I have talked about to you. I have given many boxes to people, but this is the first empty box that I am giving to you. So whenever you forget, just open it and look at the emptiness of it, the nothingness of it. Let that be your meditation.

So whenever you forget and start dreaming and desiring, just open the box and look at it. It is empty.

You also be empty looking at it. Let the great nothing happen to you, and through it everything happens on its own accord.

Man has just to become a non-being – then being arises. Man has to cease for God to be.

CHAPTER 2

20 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says: I choose to be on my own to work, but then when I am alone I can’t bear it. I’m just tension and terror.

I’ve struggled for so many years with my neurosis, trying to survive, trying to make creative use of it

– and everything’s gone.]

Your problem is that you don’t have any problems – you create them. You have got into the habit of creating them – and you enjoy them. This is the problem: if one starts enjoying problems, it is very difficult to get out because you have much investment in them. Otherwise you can get out right this moment. Not for a single moment do you need to wait, because they are your created problems.

There are people who have real problems, there are people who have imaginary problems. Your problems are imagination. There is nothing wrong in their being imagination. You are an imaginative person, a creative person. You not only write novels – you have created a novel around you. It is just a fiction – all your problems are just fictitious, because I can see that your energy is absolutely pure; there is no problem at all. So in a way it is very simple to get out of them; in a way it is very difficult. If there is a problem, something can be done. But there is no problem so nothing can be done. You will have to get out of it.

[She asks: How?]

There is no question of how. Don’t create them! What happens is that the mind gets into a double-bind. For example if a person is negative, he suffers. But by being negative, he enjoys a few things that a positive person cannot enjoy. For example a negative person will be thought to be very intelligent. A positive person will not be thought to be very intelligent because the positive person will not criticise anybody. The positive person will look shallow, and the negative person will look very deep.

So if you become negative, you suffer – but there is some pay-off, and that is that people think you are very critical, very intelligent, very logical, this and that – and all nonsense! You suffer inside, but you cannot lose this profit that comes out of negativity. All critical people suffer, but they become great leaders, they become great thinkers. They suffer, they want to get out of their suffering, but they don’t want to drop that profit that comes out of being negative.

I looked into your diary. (She had recently submitted to Osho a journal she had been keeping of her experiences here.) It is absolutely negative, and it seems that you enjoy it and you have sharpened the faculty of being negative. So you have to understand it. To suffer for such foolish things – that people will say that you are very critical and very intelligent – is absurd, because you are suffering.

In India it happens that ascetics are worshipped very much; so many people are ready to fast, to destroy their bodies. They suffer very much, they suffer a thousand and one types of inconveniences, but still the investment is there, because people worship them – and they worship them only because of these things – so they continue.

Jaina monks used to come to me and they would say, ’We are in deep misery. What to do? How to get out of it?’ And I would say that it is difficult to get out of it because that is their very trade, their very business. Their being miserable is worshipped. If they start enjoying and become joyous like ordinary human beings, nobody will think that they are mahatmas, saints – nobody. They are saints only because they are miserable. Their whole saintlihood depends on their misery. They have wasted their lives through a wrong attitude.

Look at this: if you are a mischief-maker, you will become famous. You will suffer very much

– because a person who creates mischief for others cannot remain in silence and peace; it is impossible. But if you are a mischief-maker, people will talk about you; you will become famous.

world famous. What is the fame of an Adolf Hitler? He was a mischief-maker. He was ill-famed, but he had created so much trouble in the world that you had to pay attention. Now, if Adolf Hitler had not been a mischief-maker, had lived a happy life, nobody would ever have known about him.

So this is my feeling – that the ego has a deep investment in negativity, in mischief-making, misery, suffering. The ego cannot exist without creating a hell around it. The ego is an island in the ocean of hell. You want to get rid of the hell but you don’t want to get rid of that island. Then there is trouble.

Just become ordinary. There is no need to be special... it is there. There is no need to be special.

All special people suffer. They may be politicians, they may be writers, painters or whatsoever, but all people who in some way try to be extraordinary, suffer. Only ordinary people are happy – but nobody talks about them, that is true.

People talk about a Van Gogh – and he suffered, he simply suffered. You cannot find a more miserable man than Van Gogh. The few years that he lived were a constant hell – and then he committed suicide – but he is talked about even still: he is still a contemporary. Books are being written about him and his paintings are praised like anything – but nobody looks at what happened to this man.

Nietzsche is still praised, discussed, books are written about him – but what happened to this man?

Not a single moment of bliss. Always in an immense torture, terrible torture... and finally went mad.

Just look! Up to now the whole history has been made by wrong people, and I think that is going to be so always. Right people cannot make history. Right people in fact don’t have any biography. If you are wrong, you have a biography. If you are simply happy, you have no story about you.

People say that no news is good news and bad news is good news. Somehow the whole humanity suffers a great calamity – of masochism, sadism. Nobody is interested if you go on the street and you give a flower to somebody; nobody will talk about it, no newspaper will print anything about it –

it will remain out of the record. But go and kill a person and you become instantly famous! If you simply sit and sing and dance, and you are happy alone, nobody bothers about you. Commit suicide and you are the topmost news. It is an ill state of affairs.

My whole teaching is to just be ordinary. And in being ordinary you will be extraordinarily happy.

You have tremendous energy, and once it is taken away from this miserable state, much creation will happen. JuSt a few days before somebody asked a question – that if people become happy and healthy, what will happen to creativity, because only un-happy people seem to be creative. A Van Gogh, a Nietzsche, a Picasso – only unhappy people seem to be creative. Buddha has not painted, Mahavir has not composed a symphony – only unhappy people seem to be creative. What will happen to creativity?

The question is pertinent. I understand what he means. But Buddha has created something which is very invisible. He has not created a painting on a canvas. He created a painting on the universe itself, and those who have eyes can still be thrilled by it, en-chanted by it... can still be transformed by it. He created an energy-field which is still alive. But that work is so hard. It is not gross.

Mahavir has composed a symphony – not a symphony that can be heard, but a symphony that remains unheard and which can be heard only when your ears have a clarity, when they are not burdened by anything else.

When you are transparent, when you are mirror-like, the unheard is heard and the unseen is seen.

The unknown becomes known.

The positive and healthy person also creates, but his creativity is very subtle. The unhealthy and ill person creates; his creativity is very gross, but it is like a dagger – it hurts and it makes people aware that something is happening. A flower simply flowers and withers away by the evening – unknown, unheard; a flower is not like a knife. Unless you are really looking for it, you will not look at it. Unless you are really looking for it, you may bypass it. A flower is there, but is not aggressive – a knife is aggressive. Whether you are looking for it or not, it will force you to look at it. That’s why negativity becomes a foundation for the ego so much.

Simply drop it, and don’t ask how, because the ’how’ is a trick. What I am saying is that you have no problem. So just start, from this very moment, to live without problems – and see. Just from this very moment start living without any problems, and when problems come, simply remember that Osho says, ’There are no problems.’ Again you may be getting into an old habit, just an old habit. Just remember it, and within a few days you will become aware that there are no problems; they were all created.

You go on playing with your old wounds so that they don’t heal. Stop it! And just be ordinary! There is no point in being anything else. God is very ordinary – that may be the reason why nothing is heard about Him, anywhere. He does not make even a ripple. He is simply here. He never interferes, never trespasses. He never takes any initiative. He is simply there.

Just be very ordinary. Drop this image that you carry with you. Start enjoying. Don’t wait to learn how to en joy. When people are dancing, dance. When people are singing, sing. Without any preparation, start celebrating. If you ask for preparation, if you ask for ’how’, you will never celebrate. There is no need – everything is ready. From this very moment, try for three weeks without any ’how’ – just celebrate, enjoy. It will be difficult because it will go against the grain. It will be difficult because it will look ridiculous. It will be difficult because you will ask yourself, ’What are you doing? Are you a fool? Laughing like a fool?’

Just today I was reading a story. A man who used to work as a joker, as a fool in a circus, got tired of the whole game. He was bored, so he entered a monastery, became a sannyasin. But they were very serious people and he had never known any seriousness. He had lived out of humour, and there he was a misfit. He could not laugh, he could not dance, he could not hop and jog and make people laugh. They were serious, sombre people, long faces, great saints and monks and very ascetic – so he was out of his element. He could not believe it. What to do? How to pray? How to meditate? He was simply a man who could laugh and who could help people to laugh.

For a few days he suffered very much in the monastery. Then he found a small temple in the monastery, far away in a corner. Nobody used to visit it, so he went there. There was a Buddha statue, so he talked to Buddha, saying, ’Help me. I am a fool and these people are all wise. I have worked my whole life as a fool, and now in the end it is very difficult to change my old habits. I feel you will understand me.’ He said to Buddha, ’I cannot pray because I don’t know how to – and I don’t think I will ever be able to learn it. The seriousness of it is so much. I cannot meditate, so I will do whatsoever I can. If you enjoy, good. If you don’t enjoy, tolerate me.’

So before that statue of the Buddha he started dancing and doing things – his tricks that he used to do in the circus. He became very happy. The whole monastery was thinking that something had happened to the fool – he was so radiant. Every morning he would disappear, every evening he would disappear, so the head monk became curious. What had happened to this man – he had become almost luminous. What was he doing?

So one day they followed him. What was happening there the head monk could not believe, because the fool was talking to Buddha, joking, dancing and jumping and playing around. The head monk was simply aghast; he could not believe it.

Then the miracle happened. Whether it really happened or not, is not the point. The miracle happened that the statue of Buddha arose and, hand in hand with the fool, he started dancing and joking.

You have a very serious habit of the mind. You are just the reverse of that fool, and you have fallen into wrong company. You have a serious habit of looking at life – and this whole company is non-serious! I am against seriousness, so in contrast you feel very much difficulty. You have not been able yet to mix with the sannyasins, you are still aloof. You have a certain affinity with me but not with the sannyasins.

Start mixing. Forget your old past. Start mixing and playing and be a fool. That is going to be your prayer – and one day you will see that Buddha is dancing with you. Start from right this moment. I am not saying to prepare for it, to get ready for it – yoU are ready for it. Trust me – you are ready for it. Right from this moment, start jumping. When you go out, go happy.

For three weeks you celebrate and then you tell me... I don’t see that there is any problem. Your problem is that you want problems. Good.

[A sannyasin who is leaving says: I feel that you can look through me totally and if I need any advice, you will give it to me.

Osho checks his energy.]

Open your eyes. A little effort towards prayer will be very helpful. And when I say prayer, I mean an openness towards God. Not that you have to say something, not that you have to ask something, but just an openness, so that if He wants to give something, you are available. A deep expectation, but with no desire – that’s what you need. Urgent expectancy – as if something is going to happen any moment. You are thrilled by the possibility of the unknown but you don’t have any desire. You don’t say that this should happen or that should not happen. Once you ask, prayer is corrupted.

When you don’t ask, when you simply remain in silence but open, ready to go anywhere, ready even to die, when you are simply in a receptivity, a passive, welcoming spirit, then prayer happens.

Prayer is not something that one can do – it has nothing to do with doing. It is not an action or an activity – it is a state of mind.

So every night before you go to sleep, just sit in your bed. This is exactly the posture that your energy has taken.

[The sannyasin was sitting, back erect, legs folded underneath him.]

In this posture, sit, close your eyes, and just wait for something unknown. If you wait for the known, then the mind functions, because the known means that which is already an experience; the known means the past. The known means that you want to repeat some thrill, some pleasure; it is a repetition. With the unknown, the mind is simply at a loss, because the unknown is simply out of the mind’s grasp.

Where the unknown begins, God begins. And once the unknown has become known, it is no more God. It has become the mind.

So one has to go on leaving the mind and moving into the unknown again and again. It is an eternal journey. So simply sit, wait for the unknown, and if something starts happening in your body energy, allow it. After a few days you will see tremendous happenings. You will not be able to believe what is happening. Don’t get scared, don’t be scared... allow it. You may feel jolts of energy, shocks of energy shaking your very foundation. You will feel a great trembling arising in you, a great shaking.

And it will be coming from nowhere. You will see that you are not doing it. You will be able to see absolutely that you are not in your own control. Something has come and possessed you, something has descended upon you – you are no more yourself. A greater self has come in contact.

So don’t get scared at that moment. If you get scared, the contact is again broken. Not only that, if you get scared the contact will become more and more difficult to make again, because the fear will stand there. When the contact happens, the fear will come and you will be cut off; fear separates, cuts off.

So when this happens, be loving. These are the only two real emotions – fear and love. If you don’t love, you will be in fear. If you are in fear, you cannot love. If you love, fear is impossible. So when this is happening, love it. Pour your energy lovingly. Feel happy that a gift has descended upon you, that there is grace around you, that God has listened to you, that your prayer has been heard. You have not said anything, but it has been heard.

When you don’t say anything, it is always heard. When you speak, it is never heard. Words never reach God because they are not His language. His language is silence, utter silence. So in that utter silence lose all control, because control is of the mind. The control is of the ego and if ego is there, you are not in prayer.

If you are there, you are not in prayer. When you are not, prayer is. That’s why I call it a state, not an activity.

So every night for at least fifteen to twenty minutes, just sit this way, put the light off – darkness is beautiful. Just wait with great expectation, with throbbing expectation. Any moment something of tremendous value is going to happen but what it is you don’t know, nobody knows. And then if the body starts moving, allow it. Go wholeheartedly with it, the whole way.

Within three, four days, things will start happening, and by the third week you will be in a whirlpool of unknown energy. And when you see that the contact has happened, don’t do it for more than twenty minutes, because in the beginning it can be too much. The voltage can be too much, can be disruptive. So not more than twenty minutes – and then go to sleep.

Go into sleep in that very state of prayer. Just fall asleep and the energy will be there. You will be flowing with it, falling into sleep. That will help very greatly because then the energy will surround you the whole night and it will continue to work. By the morning you will feel more fresh than you have ever felt before, more vital than you have ever felt before. A new elan, a new life will start penetrating you, and the whole day you will feel full of new energy; a new vibe, a new song in your heart, and a new dance in your step.

So this is to be done while you are there – then come back. This prayer will prepare you.

CHAPTER 3

21 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Prem means love and moradhi is one of the names of the god, Krishna. It means god, god of love.

And to me the god of love is the only god. In fact love itself is the only god – all else is ritual. Love is the only true religion; and if you can love, you start growing. You can forget God, you can forget the church, you can forget the temple; you can forget everything. If love remains, then everything is there and will grow in its own time. But if you forget love, all the temples and all the churches and all the bibles and all the vedas are not going to do anything whatsoever.

So love is the essential religion. If you can become more and more loving, that is your prayer. And love does not need any preparation. It is not that you will love tomorrow. You can love right now, this very moment; it needs no preparation. It is our intrinsic capacity, we are born with it – it is our natural fragrance. We can destroy it, we can create hindrances, obstacles, but we cannot produce it. We can only remove the hindrances and then it starts flowing.

So this name will become a remembrance to you – that love is the only growth there is, the only maturity. When a child is born, he receives love. He cannot give it back. He does not know what it is. He is so helpless, he is so dependent. So he learns how to receive love from the mother, from the father, from the family, then from the society. Many people then remain in that childish state.

They are always asking for love. That is immature.

A man becomes mature when he starts giving love. And when you start giving love, you start growing. If you simply go on asking and asking and asking.... And everybody is asking: the husband is asking from the wife, the wife is asking from the husband. Everybody goes on asking, ’Give me love!’ and everybody goes on complaining that nobody seems to be loving.

The whole world is in tremendous misery because people ask for love and they have completely forgotten that unless somebody gives, it is not going to help. This happens because of the natural situation. The child receives love without giving anything on his own. He simply learns how to receive; he becomes receptive. By and by he completely forgets that love has to be given also.

So start giving unconditionally. Even if you are passing by the rock, give love to the rock. It is real energy. If you start sharing it, you will feel that you are becoming fresh and new every moment. It actually happens that when you look at somebody – maybe a rock, a tree, a person, anybody – if you look with love, a chunk of energy is thrown from your eyes onto the object of your love. The object of your love receives your juice, and a great process sets in.

When you give love to somebody, an emptiness is created in you. That part, that chunk of love that you have shared with somebody, creates an emptiness in you, a void. And in this existence, voids are not possible. Once there is a void, from the whole universe energy flows into you and fulfills that void.

So whenever you love somebody, you will feel energy flowing into you from unknown sources. You will feel refreshed, renewed, rejuvenated. A lover is always young – that is the secret of a lover.

If you don’t love, there is no need for God to flow into you, for the universe to flow into you. You don’t have any space inside; you are a hoarder, a miser, who goes on hoarding the small amount of energy that you have. That energy goes on becoming stale, stagnant; it starts stinking. It becomes hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, anger. It becomes violence, destructiveness. And energy, to remain creative, needs to flow. If it is not flowing, it will become a cancerous thing inside you.

People are suffering because they have love to share and they don’t know how to share it. They have completely forgotten the language of sharing, and they are afraid that if they share they will be losing something. But the moment you share energy, suddenly from all over the universe, energy starts flowing in you – you have created a situation.

And once you know this secret, then you know that in giving you get, in sharing you become richer.

Then you start sharing unconditionally. It is not a question then of whom to share with – with the trees, with the sky, with the clouds – you start sharing with everybody. If there is nobody and you are sitting in your room, you share it with the emptiness of the room. But you fill the whole room with energy because you know that this is the only way to renew your own energy and to go on getting it from God.

Become empty and God will fulfill you. Become a void, and God will rush into you – and that is eternal juice. So go on sharing – that’s why I am giving you that name.

Deva means divine and tassita means thirsty: thirsty for the divine.

That’s what you have been for your whole life. You have been thirsty and thirsty and thirsty. But now there is no need to remain thirsty... you can drink out of me.

[The new sannyasin said she worked in a psychiatric hospital. She added that she felt she could introduce Osho’s work there.]

You can help people there but first you will have to be here for a few days. First something has to be done within you. First I have to change you and then you will become capable of helping people and changing people.

You are going to create a revolution in that psychiatric hospital. First we will try to change the doctors and then the patients.

[The new sannyasin says that she was doing revolution – but only political.]

Now you have come to the real revolution. Political revolution is nothing but reform. You just change the form and you call it revolution – it is not. The real problem remains the same.

Unless a man changes from within, nothing changes. You can change the social structure, you can change the economic structure, but if the man remains the same nothing is going to change, because man is the basic reality.

Things are wrong in the society because something is wrong in man – it is not vice versa. There is so much wrong in the society because so many people are projecting their inner wrong on the society. The society has no soul, only man, the individual man, has a soul. And the real revolution can only happen in the soul.

But now the real revolution is happening!

CHAPTER 4

22 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine and Bharat is the real name of India. It means divine India – and I give you this name because you have been in India in your previous life.

India is not this country’s real name; it is a given name – the real name is Bharat. The name comes from a very great emperor who renounced his kingdom and became a sannyasin.

... It is almost prehistoric, so no history exists. Must be near about ten thousand years ago. But the very name of the country belonged to a sannyasin. That has been the basic core of India’s heart. It has never respected emperors, it has respected sannyasins. It has never respected rich people, it has never respected kings; it has respected persons, spirits, spirituality; India is a name given by other people. When the Persians came to Bharat, they could not pronounce the letter ’s’. When they came across the great river Sindhu, they called it ’Hindu’. In Persian there is nothing equivalent to ’s’. So when they say Sindhu, they call it Hindu.

When the name went from Persia, they called the whole country Hindhu. When it went to the Greeks, they could not pronounce ’h’; they called it Indu. From there it became Ind and then India. It has travelled that way, but to the country itself it was not a name.

So remember: Bharatam.

And this country is really the most divine in a way because it has been longest in the search for the divine.

[A sannyasin says: There’s an area in my body above my genital area which became very active during the camp. I had a lot of tension, a lot of activity there. During Tathata (group) I did a lot of work on that area of my body and I’ve been feeling a great deal of energy associated with the topic of being loved.]

Mm, very good. That is the centre of the body where energy accumulates. It is the very dynamo of the body. When energy starts moving to other centres, you will feel a little disturbance inside the body, because new adjustments are needed.

Energy has started moving, so just do one thing: whenever you feel some energy there near the sex centre, just close your eyes and direct your energy upwards. Just close your eyes and feel as if your whole attention inside is joined with the sex centre, like a white luminous thread. First visualise it – that a thread-like thing is joining your attention with the sex centre. Then start feeling that the energy is moving inside the thread, around the thread, upwards – as if the temperature is rising in the thermometer and it goes on moving.

First bring it just near the heart and you will feel an explosion of love energy.

You will feel

tremendously in love with existence as such... with any and everything. You will simply feel that you have become love. Th is continue for at least two weeks. Bring your energy up to the heart but don’t move upwards in a hurry. Go slowly.

After two weeks, start bringing the energy up to the third eye centre. When it comes to the third eye, you will feel some clarity of vision... that everything will become psychedelic, colourful – even your dreams will not be in black and white.

After four weeks, tell me how things are going. The energy will have settled. It has to come up to the third eye. Ordinarily, biologically, the energy accumulates near the sex centre; what in Yoga they call the muladhar, the base root centre. Naturally it accumulates there; that is the lowest point. Lower than that there is nothing, so energy accumulates at the bottom. If one goes on using it in sexual indulgence, there is never so much energy to go higher.

If it goes a little higher, it becomes love. If it goes a little higher, it becomes prayer, meditation. And the whole effort of the meditator is to bring the energy from the sex centre to the third eye centre.

It is a great shift. Then the third eye centre becomes your reservoir of energy. And when energy accumulates at the third eye centre, one day, the jump – from the third eye to the seventh centre, sahasrar. But for that you have not to do anything. You have just to go on accumulating energy in the third eye.

At a certain point – when the energy is too much and the third eye centre cannot hold it any longer

– it explodes, naturally, spontaneously. Then it reaches to the seventh, the last centre, the highest centre. At that centre energy becomes samadhi, ecstasy. You are not to do anything for that. That happens on its own accord. But up to the third eye centre, effort is needed.

So start from tonight, and after four weeks, tell me how things are. Much is going to happen.

[A sannyasin asks: I have a kind of complicated question. It’s about dependency and surrender. I am a dependent person and I have a hard time making decisions. I feel I have surrendered to you, yet I don’t want to use that surrender as an excuse not to take my own strength.]

Mm, that’s perfectly right. Surrender is not dependency at all. Surrender makes you as independent as nothing else can make you. Surrender doesn’t take your self from you – it simply takes your ego.

And they are totally different things. When the ego is dropped, for the first time you really become an individual. The ego was just a bogus individuality, a pseudo-individuality, a pretender, a counterfeit; it was not the real thing. In surrender you drop the ego, the counterfeit, to become that which you really are – it is not dependence at all.

By surrendering you become independent. And when you surrender to me, you are not surrendering to anybody really, because there is nobody. You are surrendering to a nothingness – to a great nothing. You can look at me... I am just a door, a great passage to pass through. I am just an emptiness. You can pass through me, via me, and come to your own being. I am not a hindrance.

So remember that. You have to understand it absolutely clearly – that dependency has nothing to do with surrender. If surrender becomes a dependency, you have missed. Then you are again playing the same game of the ego. Now the ego is playing the game of surrender, but it is there. Now the ego says, ’I am surrendered.’

When you are really surrendered, there is nobody to say, ’I am surrendered.’ Nothing is left – only a clarity of vision, a transparency of vision. You look at things more easily and you don’t project yourself on them. The decision comes moment to moment – you don’t manipulate it, you don’t control your life any more. You live in a let go and each moment you respond.

There are two ways to live a life. One way is to manage it, to control it, to plan it, to carry decisions from the past and to force the future according to the past. That’s what everybody is doing and everybody is creating a hell out of life. Another way – the enlightened way of life – is not to carry any plan, not to carry any decision from the past, but just to wait for the moment to come and to respond out of your totality.

Surrendered, you become total. When you surrender the ego, you surrender your plans, your past, your future – you surrender your mind. Now only emptiness is left behind. You will be acting out of that emptiness. Those will not be reactions – they will be actions. Not that you will be deciding them

– they will be decided by your totality.

I am here to help you to become as independent as possible. If you become dependent on me, the whole point is lost. I don’t want that you should lean on me because that will be crippling you. If you start walking with my legs and you start seeing through my eyes, you will go blind, you will be paralysed.

Learn from me but be yourself. Remain available to me, but don’t become an imitator. Remain open, vulnerable, but there is no need to follow me. It is delicate, and great sensitivity is needed to understand it.

Your problem is a real problem; it has to be faced. Two things are simple: either you become an egoist and you say, ’I cannot surrender’ – that is simple – or you say, ’I surrender. Now I will become dependent.’ That too is easy... both are easy.

What I am indicating is to be surrendered and remain yourself. I am asking a paradox, but in that very paradox is beauty and benediction.

[The Tathata group is present. The assistant leader said: It seemed to me in this group that the answer happened before the question came up. I felt like I’d been in that room in those twenty-four hours, for my whole life. Since that time, I ride in a rickshaw, and I feel as if I’ve been in the rickshaw my whole life. I’m eating a meal and I feel as if I’ve been eating the dinner for my whole life!]

It can happen. It can happen, because if something changes in the mind, then the time sense changes immediately. Our time sense depends on a particular mind. The particular mi nd that you have always lived with has been uprooted in this group. You have passed through a chaos, a very creative chaos – stars are born out of such chaos. But you have lost the time sense; you have lost your moorings – where you are, who you are – as if a dream is broken so suddenly that you have lost your identity.

It has been a great trip for you, almost an LSD trip. It can happen with LSD that the time sense is lost, the space sense is lost. You don’t know where you are, you don’t know what time it is. Centuries can pass in single moments and single moments can look as though they are centuries – so slowly, as if one is seeing a film with very slow movements. Nothing seems to pass and everything seems to linger and linger and linger.

Time is not just chronological – it has a psychological part to it. You must have observed that if you feel very happy, time passes faster. If you feel very unhappy, time passes very slowly. Later on the whole process is reversed. Later on if you remember, retrospectively, then the moment that passed in happiness will look very long and the moment that past in suffering will look very short.

But actually when suffering is there, time will look very long, and when happiness is there it will look very short. So time is not just clock time – it depends much on your psychic processes.

Something really deep has happened in the group and you have lost your moorings in time. It will take just two, three days and you will readjust. But this has been good. A gap has arisen between you and your past. I can see it. You are in the gap – neither there nor here. Just move with that time. There is no need to make any effort to change it. Just move with it as it is. Let it be. Enjoy it.

Eating, you feel as if you have been eating your whole life – let it be so. Don’t be worried about it.

Don’t get scared because of it and don’t start brooding about what is happening – are you going crazy or something? Just accept it and enjoy it and move with it – it’s good – as if the whole world has slowed down.

Three days I think it will take, and you will be back – and you will be back with a new freshness. Just float with it. Float with this timelessness and don’t make any effort to come out of it. It will go on its own. If you make any effort – and the mind will try to make an effort to come out of it – you will disrupt a very beautiful process that has set in. So don’t disrupt it.

You are doing the Soma group next? Very good. Soma is perfectly good for this. Those fifteen days will become like fifteen centuries so that will be tremendously beautiful. Very good.

[A visitor says: I felt a lot of struggling. fight. I felt disconnected. I realised during the group that I swallow a lot. I don’t know how to stop. I tried to for two days but it keeps coming.]

No, you cannot do it that way. Swallow deliberately. Do it consciously, that’s all. It has something to do with your mind.

Swallowing continuously means that you are continuously repressing something. You don’t want to express it so you go on stomaching it. People who swallow too much are not open. If they are angry, they will swallow it; they will not show it. If they are sad, they will swallow it; they will not show it. If they are loving, even that they will swallow.

And I know that you want to become a sannyasin but you go on swallowing it.

... You can swallow it as much as you want. Once you stop swallowing you will have to become a sannyasin! (laughter)

But swallow deliberately. Whenever you see that you are swallowing, don’t try to stop it; do it consciously, that’s all. Try to find out what you are really swallowing. You will soon be able to. Then it is up to you. Swallowing is not the problem; it is just a symptom. The problem is somewhere else.

For example you want to do something and you are afraid to do it – then you will swallow. See immediately why you are swallowing. Each time you swallow, find the root cause why – what is the emotional part of it? This is the physical part – what is the emotional part of it? Once you start understanding the emotional part, then something can be done. Then something has to be done with the emotional part and swallowing will disappear automatically.

The body is simply following a pattern in the mind; the structure is in the mind. Unless that structure is changed, you cannot change it in the body. The body is a very silent follower, it is really a great slave. It is difficult to find such obedience anywhere else as exists in the body; it simply goes on following the mind.

You are not living as you would like to live. You are not loving as you would like to love. Everywhere you have inhibitions, and those inhibitions have gone so deep in the unconscious that you are not even alert about them. That’s why you became alert in the group. You must have been swallowing for years. It must be a catholic habit. (Vladimir had said at his last darshan that he used to be a catholic monk, and hence his resistance to sannyas.)

But nothing to be worried about. Just do one thing – don’t try to stop it because that will be very dangerous. If you start stopping it, you will start creating more uneasiness and tension inside. It is changing the symptom, not the cause. It is as if somebody is suffering with fever – one hundred and five degrees – and you simply put him under cool water to cool him down. You will kill him – because the fever is not the problem. The problem is somewhere else inside the body; there must be some deep conflict and friction inside the body that is creating the heat. The heat is not the problem, it is just indicative. It is simply saying, ’Do something! Something is needed to be changed inside.’

That’s what your swallowing is saying – ’Do something.’

[Osho said that the Rolfing that he had planned to do might change the habit. But he should continue to watch on what occasions he was swallowing.]

If a person is repressing sex and a beautiful woman passes, he will immediately swallow. He cannot recognise the fact that he is attracted by this beautiful woman, that some sexuality has arisen in him.

He will swallow. Swallowing is simply indicating that something was coming up – he represses it.

So just watch, and next time when you come to me, if you find what you are really swallowing, tell me, mm? It will go. Things are, going really well. Good.

[A saanyasin says: The group was very good for me. I feel like a lot has happened.]

You look open. You were like a bud – closed. Now a few petals have opened and you look a little open. Very good.

In Tao, go deeper and cooperate with the processes in the group. Never be a miser. When one is doing something, one should do it totally, wholeheartedly. So make all the effort that you can, all that is humanly possible.

A great intensity is needed to transform a person because intensity creates fire, and fire is a must for the alchemical change – so that the lower metal can be transformed into a higher metal. Great fire is needed – and that fire comes only by intensity.

You did well. Make a little more effort. Go a little deeper and higher in Tao....

CHAPTER 5

23 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A visitor says: The way I feel at the moment there is that there is no such thing as sannyas... Who is there to be a sannyasin?]

That’s the point to be understood. If you can understand that you are also not there, then you have understood rightly. But if sannyas is not there, religion is not there, meditation is not there, and you remain there, then you have not understood at all.

... So saying is just meaningless. Then this is just a trick of the mind so that whatsoever you want to remain, you remain, and whatsoever you are afraid of, you say it is not there; there is nothing like sannyas.

But there is something like the ego. So if you have understood, drop the ego. Then there really is no sannyas, no religion. But if the ego remains then there is sannyas, there is religion, there is Buddhism and there is Buddha.

These are all devices to help the ego to disappear – nothing else. These are all remedies for a certain illness. The remedy is not there if the illness is not there. That Prajnaparmitasutra is the assertion of the ultimate. It is not for you! It is simply the assertion of the ultimate truth – that there is nothing. But if there is something – if the ego is there, if you are there – then you will need remedies: The medicine exists only for the ill person. For the healthy person, the medicine is not. But if an ill person starts thinking that the medicine is not and throws the medicine and keeps the illness deep in the heart, he is fooling with himself.

It’s perfectly true. What you say is perfectly true, but you have not understood it at all. If you have understood, there is no problem. I have nothing to say – it is perfectly okay. But as I can see, you have read it, you have become knowledgeable – but it is not your knowing .

Just today I was reading.... You must have heard about a great indian philosopher and saint, Vivekananda. When he came back from America, in Bengal there was a great famine. So he dropped all his religious work, went to the area to help people. A few scholars of that place came to see him, and they said to him, ’Swamiji, we are surprised that you are getting involved in maya, in illusion.’ The world does not exist, so who is poor and who is hungry? This is all dream! And we have heard you teach many times that it is all a dream... nothing exists. So where is the famine and who is dying ?’

Listening to this, Vivekananda started crying... tears started. Those people could not believe it. they started laughing. They said, ’This is ridiculous! We were thinking that you were enlightened – and you are crying!’

Vivekananda took his staff – he was a very strong man – and went to the leader of the group and said, ’If you really know that nobody is hungry then I am going to hit you with this staff.’

That man escaped! He started running, because Vivekananda was a really strong man; if he hit, he could even kill this man. The whole group of those great scholars all disappeared; there was nobody left.

It is true that only nothing exists, but it is true only when the ego is not. Before that it is a very dangerous trick. It is not your truth – it is borrowed. And a borrowed truth can become poisonous.

Sannyas is just a help to drop the ego. Once the ego is dropped, then you know that the medicine is useless. In fact it never existed. It had to be created because there was another illusion deep down inside you, and an illusion can only be cut by another illusion – there is no other way. The poison can be destroyed only by poison.

So sannyas is nothing but a no-ego trip. When the ego is false, this too is false, but that moment will come one day when the ego has dropped. But if you say that sannyas is nothing and you go on keeping your ego.... And as I see it, it is the ego that is talking and taking the support of the Prajnaparmitasutra, that says, ’What is sannyas? There is no sannyas or anything else.’ It is the illness that is saying that there is no medicine.

So think over it... meditate over it. If you feel that your understanding is enough and you can drop the ego, then there is no need for any sannyas. But if you feel that it is difficult for you to drop, then the medicine has to be used. Think about it.

[The visitor replies: A few points.... It seems to be beginning with the duality in my mind – either sannyas or non-sannyas, but for myself, I agree – this is not a deep experience... ]

No, it is not an experience at all, remember, because there are not deep and non-deep experiences.

Either it is or it is not.

[The visitor answers: Let’s say it is not a final experience.]

No, no, there is nothing like final and non-final. There is only experience. Either it is there or it is not there.

These are all the tricks of the mind to divide. Either you know or you don’t know – and there is no in between, no state in between. When we don’t know, we don’t know, but we can collect much knowledge and we can start feeling that we know. And that’s why we say it is superficial. not very deep, not final, but still it is an experience. It is not.

Experience is always final. Experience as such has a finality in it. It is utterly final. Experience is total and ultimate. There are no grades in experience – that you know one inch, then two inches.

then three inches, then one yard, and then by and by you know. There is no gradation because the truth cannot be divided; it is indivisible.

It is a sudden illumination – just like lightning – everything suddenly in one experience, in a single, unitary experience. That is both the first and the last, the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega.

These are all the tricks of the intellect to divide. The intellect can understand this much – that this is not ultimate. But the mind is not ready to believe that not even superficial experiences have happened to it. It is a trick of the mind. The mind says, ’I know I have not arrived absolutely, but I am on the way, arriving. I have covered a few steps – a few more have to be covered. I have a little truth. It may not be the final truth, but a little truth, a fragment.’ But truth is not a fragment.

Truth is like a circle. A half circle is no circle at all. It is not right to call it a half circle. Circle means circle; there is no half to it.

[The visitor debates: I can see what you’re saying – the spontaneity of enlightenment. But the word

’satori’ in Japanese doesn’t exactly mean final enlightenment.]

I’m not talking about satori at all.

... I’m not talking about a satori at all, because if the satori is true, it is final. If it is just mental, a dream experience, then you can call it anything else. If a satori is true, it is samadhi.

If a satori is just psychological – there are psychological satoris; they are not more than hypnotic states, they are self-hypnosis. You can create an illusion of satori for yourself. You can read, you can think about, imagine, and you can have a feeling that you have attained to something. But if it is true, it is final. There is no going back.

That’s why in indian experience we don’t have any word for satori. We don’t have any word for satori; Buddha has no word for satori. If the truth is there, it is samadhi. Satori is, in the japanese terminology, a glimpse of the truth – which is not possible because truth happens only when you are not. You cannot have a glimpse of it.

If you can have a glimpse of it, that means truth can happen when you are there; that is impossible.

If the ego is there, truth cannot happen. If the truth happens, the ego cannot be there. And if the ego cannot be there, there is no way to fall back. It is a point of no return. It is ultimate.

Truth is ultimate. Satori is again a trick of the mind. Again, the mind always wants to create grades, because with grades the mind can always work it out easily. With the ultimate, the mind is completely at a loss. What to do with the ultimate? The ego finds no way to have a grip on the ultimate. Divided, then there is possibility.

It is difficult to declare that you have the ultimate truth. It will look absurd – to you. Not only to others, to yourself it will look absurd that you have the ultimate truth. But when you say that this is just a fragment of truth, a little glimpse – not very deep, just skin-deep – then it doesn’t look absurd to you, it does not look absurd to others. But it is absurd because the implication is that the truth can be divided, that you can have a part of it, or you can have it in installments.

That is the whole debate between the sudden enlightenment people and the people who say that enlightenment can be gradual.

[The visitor says: Well, I have thought about this and I rejected the gradual path completely, but... ]

Your rejection is intellectual – that’s what I am saying. Your rejection is intellectual – and intellectual rejection is no rejection at all.

[The visitor: What you said seems to reject all revelations – all people who have had a revelation and then relapsed.]

There is no possibility of relapse. If they relapse the only possibility is that the revelation was an illusion, was of the mind.

There is no way to fall back from truth. It is impossible. Once you know, you know. There is no way to unknow it. Meditate over it. You will need sannyas – otherwise drop the ego completely. Now the choice is not between sannyas and no-sannyas. The choice is between sannyas and the ego. Think about it that way.

[The visitor: Cannot sannyas be part of the ego?]

You can make it part of the ego. You can make it part of the ego.

[The visitor: I’m not frightened of it, I don’t fear, but I see around me people who are in the situation...

]

Don’t be worried about others. That’s not the question at all.

... don’t even think about them. That’s their problem. That has nothing to do with you.

... You should only think about yourself because you cannot think about others. You are not even able to think about yourself rightly. And to think about somebody else will be standing on the outside.

You don’t know. Somebody may be just playing the game of some ego and may not be an egoist –

for example, a Gurdjieff.

He used to play at being such a egoist, but he was not an egoist at all. He was one of the most egoless persons ever. But he would play the game and he would deceive many. So who knows? A sannyasin walks by in a very egoistic way... but how can you be certain?

You can only be certain about your own subjectivity. This is an outer impression: he looks egoistic to you – maybe it is just your ego that is interpreting it as egoism. It may not be there at all; it may be your projection.

So at the most we can be truthful only about our own subjectivity. Watching others carries no meaning, because whatsoever you watch is your interpretation.

It is not the fact.

It is your

interpretation; it is how you feel about it. It may not be so. It may be just the contrary. It may be absolutely something else. It looks like that to you – but that may be your ego.

So just think about yourself. Just meditate about your own state and where you are. And don’t be too much burdened by scriptures. Put them aside and look at reality and where you are. If you have an ego you will have to use devices – what Buddhists call ’upaya’ . You will have to use many devices – meditations, Vipassana, zazen. Sannyas is just a device.

One can become an egoist by meditating. One can feel, ’l am a great meditator’ – so what to do?

One can become an egoist by becoming humble – ’I am the greatest humble man in the world’ – so what to do? One can become an egoist by loving peo-ple, saying, ’I am a great lover.’ The ego is possible – and very subtle are its ways. It is possible anywhere. Unless you are alert and watch it, it can come from anywhere.

[The visitor: But then... I cannot find – centre is the word you use very much and is the word that is used here. I cannot find an abiding ego if you like. I cannot find an abiding personality. I find with each different person – with you, with another person – I become different personalities.]

That’s true, because the ego cannot be an abiding thing.

... The ego is not an abiding thing. The ego is a flux. The ego means many egos, the ego means a crowd. The ego is not singular. In language it is singular – in reality it is plural: the ego means egos.

You don’t have one ego – you have many.

... To meditate on the ego, suddenly you become different from the ego – you become a witness.

And that is where the centre is – and that centre is abiding.

When you start meditating on your ego, on your thoughts, on your mind, you are suddenly separate, because whatsoever you meditate on, you are separate from it. That has become the object and you have become the subject.

... That is what meditation is. That witnessing centre is an abiding centre – that is your real self.

When you get identified with any ego, then you are losing your centre. That’s what we talk about –

losing the centre or gaining the centre.

So just meditate about the ego. Meditate about your real situation, where you are. If you feel that you will need something as a help, you can come. If you feel that there is no need for any help, then go on as you are with my blessings.

But keep in mind that you have learned a few things which are in the head and can be very destructive unless they become realities.

[The visitor: When you say to look at myself, as I say, I only see so many egos or personalities.]

Watch them. Watch them and you wi 11 see that you are identified with a few of them – sometimes with one, sometimes with another. That identification has to be dropped so that you become a pure witness. Simply watch with unconcern, with indifference – what Buddha calls ’upeksha’.

[Visitor: The way I feel about sannyas... ]

I’m not saying that you take it. And don’t be certain that if you ask, I will be ready to give it to you.

That is not the point. I may simply refuse. That is not the point. I am simply saying to see within yourself whether the reasons you are producing for not taking sannyas are not maybe reasons to protect your ego. If they are not, it is perfectly good. If they are, think about it again.

And never be certain that next time you come... I may not give you sannyas. That is not the point at all. I am not interested in giving you sannyas at all. I am simply interested in making you aware that if you are not moving into a certain thing, then why? What are the real reasons? The rationalisations are not reasons. The motives may be something totally different to the rationalisations. Just watch them.

Join the music group and T’ai Chi, and if you can manage, join the Vipassana.

[Visitor: I’ve read a book by N. Thera called ’The Heart of the Buddhist Meditation’ and according to that, part of the Buddhist doctrine of anapansatiyoga was to look at other people, outside people.]

No, that is absolutely wrong. That is just a beginning part of it. Just learn to observe.

[Visitor: But I’ve been following this.]

No, you are doing something wrong then. It is not a question of witnessing others – you have to witness your own self. Witnessing others can be just a beginner’s step – to know what witnessing is. You stand by the side of the road and you watch people passing by. It is easier to watch people who are passing outside, but this is just a training device.

Once you have learned how to watch without judgement.... If some beautiful woman passes by and if a judgement arises that she is beautiful and a certain lust arises that you would like to possess her or to have her – then the witnessing is lost. Or an ugly person may pass by – you don’t condemn, you are not repulsed, and you don’t appreciate. It is just a beginner’s training.

Once you have learned this watching, then close your eyes and watch the procession of thoughts, the inner traffic – which is the real traffic. Watch it there. There are ugly persons passing by and beautiful women and men and friends and enemies and millions of things are happening there.

Watch there and be unconcerned... as if it is none of your business to interfere.

And don’t have any opinion. Simply see the fact without any opinion. If you can drop all opinion and simply see what is passing, you will be surprised, because without opinion, nothing passes by. The traffic simply disappears into the blue. Once your opinionated mind is not there – no judgements, no appreciation, no condemnation, no evaluation – then you are simply seeing... just an on-looker, a pure clarity, a pure vision. Then suddenly the traffic stops. Everything disappears into the abyss; there is nothing to watch.

And when this happens – that there is nothing to watch – another revolution happens: there is no watcher either. Because when the procession of thoughts is no more there, then how can the witness exist? The witness can only exist with the witnessed.

That’s why Krishnamurti goes on saying that the observer is the observed. When the observer disappears, the observed also disappears. So first the traffic disappears and then suddenly you look within – the witness is not there; neither the object nor the subject. This is what Buddha calls samadhi – nobody, nothingness – the great nothing. This is what is his nirvana – just pure innocence, with no centre, with no boundary... with no definition, no description .

Continue your witnessing.

[Visitor: May I ask.... You said I would need sannyas in the future.]

You will need it.

[Visitor: So you think sannyas or a guru is necessary?]

Almost always. There are only very rare exceptions – but they can be counted out. Otherwise it is almost always necessary – and for you absolutely necessary, because a person who does not need a guru never goes to a guru. And a person who does not need a guru never asks anybody whether a guru is needed or not.

You are not that type of person – you have already come. So witness it and when the desire arises, just tell me. If I am willing at that time, we will see, mm ? (a chuckle) Good !

CHAPTER 6

24 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A visitor said she had never meditated before.]

Never? Then you can become a very good meditator! People who are never interested are very clean, and there is no loadedness in their mind. They can simply go into it. People who have been interested in meditation, who have been doing this and that, reading and philosophising, going to this guru and that, become too confused. They receive so many contradictory messages that their whole being becomes fragmentary. They lose unity, simplicity; they lose humbleness. So if a person who has been in many religious groups, who has done much reading and much searching comes to me. it is very difficult to help him to meditate. His whole past functions as a barrier.

There is a story about a very famous musician who would ask, whenever somebody came to him,

’Have you learned music somewhere else before?’ If the person had not, he would charge just half of the usual fee. If the person said, ’Yes, I have learned much,’ he would charge double the fee saying, ’First I have to wipe and wash your mind – that is an unnecessary trouble.’

Unless your slate is completely clean, the new cannot descend on it. So it is a good thing that you have never been interested. But now start getting into it. It will be of tremendous benefit. Unless we meditate, we never know what life really is. We go on doing things as others are doing. We go on moving with the crowd; whatsoever the fashion, we go on doing it. Whatsoever others are doing, we go on doing but we never become aware of the great opportunity we are missing. It is a tremendous opportunity to know what existence is, what life is.

Socrates is reported to have said that a life that is unaware is not worth living. You simply live as if in a dream. You live only for the name’s sake. It has no depth.

Meditation is nothing but bringing a depth to your life. If you love, you will love in a deeper way. If you are angry, you will be angry in a deeper way. If a meditator dances, he will dance in a more total way. Whatsoever he is doing, he will bring a new quality of depth to it. His life will become more three-dimensional.

Ordinarily life is flat; it is two-dimensional. We move on the surface. The height and the depth are missing. To introduce meditation into life is to introduce height and depth... a new dimension – the dimension of the vertical. Otherwise we live horizontal, flat.

And it is difficult to say what you are missing, because unless you come to experience it there is no way to even feel that you are missing it. Just think of a person who has never seen a sunrise, who is blind; who has never seen colours... the rose, the lotus, who has never seen the stars, the moon...

who has never seen because he is blind. You cannot make him aware of what he is missing. How to make him aware? To make him aware you will have to talk about form and beauty, and he cannot understand because they don’t exist for him. He may listen to you out of politeness. but he cannot understand unless somebody opens his eyes, some treatment is found, his blindness is cured. Then he will see what he is missing.

He was living only through the ears, and through the ears you can live only twenty percent. Eighty percent of life is through the eyes. All beauty is through the eyes. Through the ears you can hear only one beauty – that of sound. Everything else will be missed – sculpture, painting, calligraphy, trees, clouds; the whole of life will be missed. And with sound it will be monotonous.

The same is the case with a person who has never meditated. He does not know what he is missing.

He is missing the vertical. The vertical is ninety-nine percent, the horizontal only one percent. The world is only one percent and God is ninety-nine percent.

So start working a little in that direction. And don’t think that it is a renunciation. Don’t think that it is escaping from life.

I don’t teach escape. I teach you how to live more fully, how to live more deeply, how to live in deep celebration.

I am not against life, and my sannyas is not anti-life at all. It is life-affirmative. It is something absolutely new on the earth, because the religions in the past have been life-negating, they have been other-worldly. I am absolutely this-worldly, because I know that the other world is hidden in this world. The other shore is hidden in this shore. This moment contains all that is possible – and all that is impossible too. Everything converges on this moment.

I was waiting for you.... So don’t just go and travel round. Just try to make a little contact with meditations. I can see a potential sannyasin. For me, you have already become a sannyasin – for you it may take a little time!

[A sannyasin, the brother of the previous visitor, says: I have been in a very negative space. I’ve been very nasty – putting people down, and grumpy. It takes me back to my childhood. I’ve been like that with my sisters... It has been coming out with my girlfriend.]

Brothers are like that – nothing to be worried about.

... Become a little more watchful. Don’t repress it but don’t express it either – just become watchful.

If you are feeling negative, that is your problem. you have to solve it – it is pointless to throw it on somebody. It is absolutely pointless because the problem is yours and this is no way to solve it. In fact you are trying to find a scapegoat so that somebody else becomes responsible and your burden is no more there. You can feel that [your girlfriend] was doing something and that’s why you are nasty. You can find a ’why’ – then you are relieved.

If you cannot find a ’why’, you simply have to face the fact that you are nasty – and that is very ego-shattering. So whenever you feel negative, go into the room, sit silently and be negative. Be negative in the void. Be grumpy – but in deep loneliness, not against anybody – simply grumpy. Then you will be facing the problem directly. Otherwise it becomes via – via [your girlfriend], via [your sister] or via somebody else. Than when it comes back home, it has changed its quality because it has become entangled with other’s energy. It is no more pure. In fact it is no more your problem – the other has become involved in it.

If you say something to [your girlfriend], she will say something, she will react. Now your negativity is not simply yours. It has rebounded on you, but it has also brought with it many things from [your girlfriend’s] negativity also. Now it is very difficult to sort it out – what belongs to whom. You were already in trouble; now you will lose all track. Now you think that she is being nasty, so you become nasty. This can go on ad infinitum. That’s how people live their whole life. Never do that.

Whenever you feel negative it is a beautiful moment to watch the negative energy, because it is another aspect of the positive energy. Nothing is wrong in itself. Negativity is as much a part of life as positivity. Night is as much a part of life as the day, and darkness is needed as much as light. So negativity can be used in a very creative way.

Buddha has called his path ’via negativa’ – through the negative – because all negativity, if watched, observed. starts changing its quality. The same energy that looked destructive becomes by and by tender and soft, mellow. You can see by and by that the intensity, the fire of it is lost. There is no more fire – only light has remained. It may take a little time, but there is no hurry – and there is no need to be in a hurry.

When you want to be nasty, just sit silently and be nasty in fantasy. Do as much as you want to do

– destroy the whole world. Why poor [girlfriend] when the whole world can be destroyed? Destroy the whole world – but in fantasy. And watch what you are doing. I’m not saying to evaluate that this is not good, you should not do it. There is no need for any ’shoulds’, because all ’shoulds’ are repressive. Simply see what is happening.

Hindus call it the destructive element of the divine. Just like Christians, Hindus have their own trinity

– and a better concept of trinity. They call it ’Trimurti’ – the three images of God. The christian concept is not very meaningful; the father. the son and the holy ghost is not very meaningful. It is not even a complete family – the mother is missing. The father is there and the son is there. but there is no mother.

It seems to be very male chauvinistic and has no very cosmic meaning. It simply says that people are retarded and are always in need of a father, so they project a father in heaven.

But the hindu concept of trinity is tremendously beautiful. These three they call the images of God

– Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh. Brahma they call the creative aspect, the creator of the world. Vishnu they call the sustaining aspect, The sustainer of the world. And Mahesh is the destructive aspect, the destroyer of the world. So with one hand God creates the world, with another hand He maintains the world, and one day with another hand, God destroys the world.

It is His game, and all these three are His aspects. The creator is as divine as the destroyer. In fact there is no possibility of any creativity if there is no destruction. You have to destroy much before you can create. One has to be very destructive; only then can one be creative.

When you paint a picture on a canvas, you are destroying the canvas, the purity of it. You are creating a painting, but you are destroying a canvas. Whatsoever you do, you will always find that there is always something destructive in it. You are taking your food.... It is very creative because it gives life, but you are destroying the food. What are you doing when you chew the food? You are destroying it, crushing it. But that very destruction is needed. It will become your blood, your bones, your very marrow.

So nothing is wrong in any destructive attitude, but become alert and use it in such a way that it goes beyond that, so that the destructivity leads to some creation.

So when you feel nasty again, just sit silently and in fantasy become Mahesh, the destructive aspect of God. Then see – just by destroying, just by becoming destructive in fantasy, you will start feeling a tremendous compassion arising in you. The negative will be receding and the positive will be arising.

Relate to people only when you are positive. That should be one of the basic disciplines in life.

Relate to people only when you are positive, when you are flowing and loving, when you can share something. When you are negative, be alone, meditate. Make negative moments meditative and positive moments loving and relating. Relate when you are positive, meditate when you are negative, and you will see that both become part of a new rhythm in your life. Then nothing is bad.

[A sannyasin says: In the Tathata group I was aware of a tension in my third eye, and when I breathed into it – into the third eye – it was burning. Then I had a catharsis. I went inside and the rest of my body was relaxed.

Osho checks her energy.]

Really good. It is something very beautiful and meaningful so don’t get scared about it. Allow it to happen. The energy is reaching the third eye centre. When it reaches there, many manifestations happen in the body and you will feel almost as if it is burning. Sometimes the spot will be actually burned. There is an old woman here – she actually got the whole spot burned.

When the energy is too much and too intense – it is electricity, body electricity – it can burn easily.

But don’t be worried; its being there is a great step towards growth. By and by your third eye will be able to absorb it, then the burning sensation will disappear. Suddenly, one day you will feel an almost ice-cool spot there: then the energy has settled. That ice-cool spot continues and that keeps you cool in any sort of circumstances. Somebody insults you – you remain cool. You fail in something –

you remain cool. Then nothing can distract you once that third eye centre becomes cool.

But it can become cool only when the energy moves there, works there, and settles there. In the beginning it will be really hot and fiery. The whole body will be relaxed – that’s the beauty of it. Deep down inside you will feel relaxed. Nothing is happening there, everything is happening in the third eye.

I can see that everything is going well. In the Tao group it will happen many more times. Allow it. If you become too afraid, remember me and leave it to me. Now I will do – your work is done!

[The enlightenment intensive group is present. A group member says: I’m afraid that I will escape, but I don’t really want to. I really want to go with it.]

Mm! The idea of escaping comes to the mind? But where will you escape to? There is no place.

You cannot escape from me. Wherever you go, I will follow you, so that’s not the point. You can try, mm?

How did you feel in the group? Describe exactly how you felt on the first day of the group.

[She replies: I felt that it was all unimportant, absolutely unimportant, and I tried to find out what was important. I felt I should shout like the others but I felt that it was unimportant and I had to laugh about the shouting of the others. I saw myself standing very high up and looking down into a space.

I couldn’t really see it – I just felt it. I felt that I had to jump, and that I would jump one day, but not now.]

I understand.

Remember one thing – that if you start thinking in terms of importance and unimportance, you will miss the whole of life. What is the importance of love? Or what is the importance of a rose flower? Or what is the importance of a full moon night? There is no importance.

If you start thinking in terms of importance, utility, meaning, you will miss life, because life is meaningless. It is immense benediction, but there is no utility to it. And all that is beautiful is meaningless. What is the meaning of a beautiful face or beautiful eyes? What is the meaning, what is the importance? Once you start asking a wrong question you can become destructive to your whole life.

Life is not economics. And love and meditation and beauty are not commodities. Things have utility

– life has no utility. Mechanical devices have utility – persons have none. Values are, in a way, valueless. They have intrinsic value, but intrinsic value does not mean anything. If you ask a rose flower, ’Why are you here? For what purpose? If you were not here what difference would it make?’

a rose flower cannot answer. There is no answer... it is unanswerably there.

Life simply is... and my whole effort there is to make you aware of the fact and not to ask for meaning, utility, value, importance. Enjoy things as they come along. For example you could have enjoyed this group, but you started thinking what was the importance of shouting. The shout was there inside you and it wanted to come out, but you started thinking, ’What is the importance? What is the meaning?

What to shout?’ You repressed it – that’s why it became a repression.

If it is there, let it be. If it is not, there is no need to shout – but don’t ask why. If the shout is there bubbling inside you, let it be. It wants to bloom in you just like a flower. It is meaningless, it has no importance, but if you had lived it, it would have relaxed you so tremendously. When the shout is gone out of your being, something like poison is released. You feel unburdened, unloaded, weightless. And when the shout has gone, softer things become possible. You can smile, you can laugh.

If the shout is there deeply repressed in your unconscious and you smile, your smile will not be beautiful. It will be ugly because that shout will go on corrupting it. You can love somebody, but in your very love there will be violence, aggression, because that shout is there, that scream is there boiling within you, wanting to explode. It will affect everything that you do. Allow it... Let it evaporate. You will feel more empty after it is gone. But in that emptiness is purity. In that emptiness is timelessness. In that emptiness you will feel for the first time no-selfness. That shout will release your ego. But instead of releasing it, you started laughing at others. Then you missed the whole group – because the group is for you.

If you start laughing at others, you’re fulfilling your ego more. Rather than releasing your shout, rather than dropping your own ego... and in laughing at others judging that these are foolish people, you are strengthening your ego more. You will become more burdened. And I would like you to become like a child newly born... Like a fresh leaf, virgin, vulnerable. But that is possible only if we learn how to unburden ourselves, how to die each moment and be reborn. That’s what religion is all about.

[Osho suggested that she took part in another group, and this time she should not bother about others. Osho said that to judge others is in bad taste, because one cannot know what is significant for someone else; something very meaningful might be happening for him in his shouting.]

The group is just an opportunity where everybody is releasing his own madness. It is simple for you to release your madness also because when everybody else is doing it, nobody will be judging you. In ordinary life that is not possible. If you are standing on the street and you suddenly start expressing yourself, the police will get hold of you. You will be thought mad, insane; you will be hospitalised or put in a gaol.

The group is a special situation where a few people have gathered together and have created a society. For three, four days, it is a small-group society, where everybody is allowed to have his own being, everybody is allowed to have his own way – with no prohibitions, no inhibitions, no repression, no judgement. That’s what a group is.

You continued to judge, that’s why you felt so miserable. Otherwise you would have felt very high.

[She answers: I want to say that actually I didn’t feel like this – I didn’t feel like judging.

No, you were not feeling, but you were judging. It was very subtle – it was there. When you think that your shouting is not important, how can you remain non-judgemental when the other is shouting?

Because whatsoever we feel about ourselves, we feel about others. That is the only way to feel.

Maybe you don’t make it a very articulate judgement, but deep down, subtly you have already judged that this man is doing something unimportant. Maybe there are no words. I’m not saying that you were deliberately doing it, but it was there, because how is it possible that it should not be there?

When you judge yourself, you judge everybody. When you drop judging yourself, you drop judging everybody else.

In the next group don’t judge yourself, and whatsoever wants to come, allow it. If it is there, it is there; bring it out. Next group you will be able to. There is nothing to be worried about – but go into it completely. Much is going to happen, mm? Good.

[Another group member says: On the third day of the group I felt this sudden change in high, a newness, and I felt that it was a place to start from; it was a beginning. Then I switched, and I said,

’Am I deceiving myself? Am I just deluding myself?’ And I felt baffled about trusting where I was.]

You were actually in a new space. Doubt your doubt! It was not imagination. But if you doubt it you will not allow it to happen more often. If you doubt you will not allow it to grow. If you doubt it you may even obstruct it completely; it may not come back. When a new experience knocks at your door, welcome it. It is very rarely that it knocks at anybody’s door. And if you doubt in that moment and it feels neglected. rejected, the experience won’t come so easily again. Welcome it!

Even if sometimes you feel that maybe it is imagination, what is wrong in imagination? Nothing. I am saying that it is not imagination. Maybe sometimes you feel that it is imagination – and there is no way to decide whether it is or not. Let it be imagination but welcome it. Even if the guest is imaginary, be a good host. And if the guest is real, you will start feeling that he is. If just through doubting and thinking it may be imaginary, you close the door, then even the real guest is rejected.

And the mind is really masochistic. Whenever there is some happiness arising it becomes doubtful, but it never doubts the misery. When you are miserable you never think that maybe it is just imaginary. No, you simply accept it, welcome it. But when it is happiness happening, doubt arises.

The mind is a masochist. It is a suicidal phenomenon. It goes on torturing itself. It enjoys that torture.

Nobody ever comes to me who says, ’I am very miserable, but the doubt arises as to whether it is imagination or real.’ No, misery is always real; there is no doubt about it. Thousands have told me that whenever happiness comes, they become doubtful. How much we have become accustomed to unhappiness? Unhappiness seems to be just a matter of fact. Unhappiness seems to be just as it should be. Happiness seems to be something which doesn’t happen ordinarily, should not happen really.

It really was something that was knocking at your door. It will be coming more. Accept it. Only later on will you be able to decide whether it was imaginary or real. It is real, but right now if you start thinking about what it is, you will miss the guest.

[The assistant leader of the group said I felt that it was a very powerful group and I think that I enjoyed it more than any other group that I’ve done. I have a question. Can you give me a little advice on how I can help people who are basically not interested in exploring the question of ’who am I?’?

Many people come as a result of your direction rather than from their own wish to explore who they are. Suddenly they’re confronted with the necessity of having to do it, when basically they don’t want to. What can we do to help them?]

They want to – otherwise I would not send them. They may not know it; they may even resist it.

You are not always ready to accept your own wanting. They want it, so the basic problem is not there. It is just that their resistance has to be broken. So you have to go on goad ing them, that’s all. Make the goading so much that they have only two choices and their resistance now seems to be meaningless. Their resistance means that they will be choosing your continuous goading. Make it so hard that they relax into it.

Everybody has a hard crust around his own real wants. That’s part of our upbringing. because no child is really allowed to assert his own desires. Imposed desires are there – the father wants something, the mother wants something, and one has to do it. The child never wanted to – he wanted to do something else, but that something else was not accepted.

Coming again and again across such desires which are not accepted by the parents, the child by and by creates a hard crust against his own desiring self. Then he loses contact with his own desires.

Then he does not know what he desires, what he really wants.

When I send somebody to a certain group, he may not be aware, but I am feeling that that is what he needs. So you have to work hard. You even have to force him against himself. And he will be grateful to you. Once his crust is broken, he will feel very grateful that you did so well. So if you have real compassion, then force him even against himself. When I have sent him, that means he needs it. So don’t bother about what he says, don’t bother about what he pretends. Just listen to me and go on goading.

When I say that under this ground there is water, forget everything and go on digging – the water is there. It may take many days for you to dig. It may be sixty feet or one hundred feet deep, you will have to unearth much – many stones and rocks – but the water is there. So don’t listen to him; listen to me.

You are there as my representatives. If I send somebody to your group, you have to work hard. Now this is none of your business to bother whether he wants it or not, likes it or not – because people are in such a confusion that they dislike things that are going to help them, and they like things that are not going to help them. They are suicidal.

So hard work is needed. Go on forcing. First try to persuade them. If they listen – good; first court them into it. If they don’t listen, then force them by other means. (The groupleader) is great at forcing. Learn from [her]. You will by and by. You are new in the group, but you will learn by and by.

Nothing to be worried about.

CHAPTER 7

25 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A couple ask Osho about their relationship. The man asked Osho what to do when one partner in the relationship is not interested in sex. He said he had tried following the advice Osho had given him before about the same situation – which was to follow his feelings – but it disturbed him that his partner felt hurt and upset.

Osho said the problem was one that was relevant to all couples, not just to them.]

In the past, the woman was completely repressed. Then there was no problem because it was always the man’s decision to have sex whenever he wanted; the woman had no say. She was just a slave. Whether she enjoyed it or not was not the point; she was not asked about it. That was one solution – very primitive and ugly, mm? because the woman was crushed. Of course man was very satisfied; he was in a very good situation. Whenever he wanted, he could have, and there was no question of the woman wanting it, because man had taught her that a good woman never asks for sex. It is only a bad woman who does that.

So the woman never used to ask for sex. It was impossible for a woman to ask because that would be losing all virtue, all respect. So the problem was solved in a way. At least fifty percent of humanity was at ease. Now, nobody is at ease. One hundred percent of humanity is troubled, because the woman has started asking, demanding, and she has started saying when she is willing and when she is not willing. It is not only man’s decision alone. She has to agree, otherwise there is no question. So now both are in trouble.

The reverse situation is also there. It is possible that in the coming century, woman may start dominating man. Then man will be repressed. Then, whenever the woman likes, she will have sex, and whenever she does not like, the man has to say nothing – a good man, a virtuous man, never asks for sex. That is possible because that is how history moves, but again it will be foolish.

The real solution has to be for one hundred percent of the people. A fifty percent solution is no good. Whether it is in favour of man or woman makes no difference – the problem remains. A one hundred percent solution means that a great understanding is needed. When you are making love to a woman you both have to be in agreement, and the agreement has to be not just legal – it has to be of the heart. Only then the symphony, the song, can arise. Love is like an orchestra – so many people playing, so many instruments. If they are not in agreement, it will be a maddening noise. If they are in agreement, something beautiful can rise out of it.

Love is an orchestra. Male and female... two persons, two different beings, two different types of energies – yin and yang – trying to play a game and trying to become a circle of energies. If they are in agreement, love becomes spiritual. If they are not in agreement, then love is a violence, an aggression. If you are making love to a woman who is not willing at that moment, it is rape. You may call it whatsoever you like, but it is rape. It may not be rape in the eyes of the law, but before a greater law, it is rape. If you don’t want to make love to a woman and she forces herself upon you, it is rape. But then at the most it can be a physical release. It cannot give any spiritual uplift to your being.

So when you are in love with a woman, try to understand the whole situation, and try to understand together. Analyse the whole situation. Tell her your mind – what is happening to you – and let her tell you about her mind, and help her. Women are not very articulate, because for centuries they have never said anything. They can fight, they can be angry, they can be sad; as far as emotions are concerned, they are very alive. But when it comes to dissect a problem, they are not articulate.

So help the woman to become articulate. Help her to understand her own problem and yours. Then both settle something.

If she says that she wants more courtship, then settle for it. Don’t take the woman for granted. Let every day be a courtship. Every love should have something of the honeymoon in it – what the psychologists call the foreplay. The foreplay has to be there. And not only that. In the East, the eastern sexologists have another to suggest, and that is afterplay.

When you make love, if you are new lovers, there is foreplay. If you are married, settled, there is no foreplay; you simply jump into sex and it is finished within minutes. A burden is gone and then you are not concerned at all. But Vatasyayana has suggested not only foreplay, but afterplay. A woman is tremendously satisfied if after making love you play with her body, because then she feels that she is respected, loved. She feels that it is not only sex that you ask for, because now sex is finished. If you finish with sex, she always carries a suspicion in the mind that she is being used like an object, like a thing.

So love is delicate and complicated. It is a complex phenomenon, and it has to be so. It is one of the most subtle things in life. So try to understand it. These problems have to be solved by everybody.

There are no answers to them. I’m not giving you an answer – I am simply giving you a process to understand it. Out of that understanding, things will settle better.

I don’t say that problems will disappear completely, because they never do – at the most there are less problems. But life as such has problems in it: one problem is solved; another is there. You solve that; another problem is there. But go on solving and then you have higher problems, and higher problems are better problems. They are even better than lower solutions. Go on solving, and you will have better and higher problems. That’s how sex becomes a problem of love.

Sex in itself is not a problem; that’s why animals have no problems. Sex in itself is a mechanical thing – no problem. The problem arises with love. Love is a higher thing. If you work with love and love starts settling, you will see that a new problem is arising that is of prayer, of tantra. When love starts settling, a still higher problem of tantra arises. Then you start thinking that it is not only a question of love between two human beings. It is something between you and the whole, and the woman is just a passage, or you are just a passage for the woman. It is a roundabout way to have a contact with the very existence, with the very ground of being. Then with tantra, new problems will arise immediately – but they are beautiful problems. And once you solve tantric problems, the ultimate problem of God arises.

Sex has no problems, God also has no problems. In between there are millions of problems. And one has to go on solving them. Through solving them, you grow. They are challenges, so don’t take them in a negative way. Don’t think that they are just to be solved somehow. No. With deep respect, with tremendous care, tenderness, try to solve them, because through them you are going to grow.

It is through these problems that your higher being will arise, so they are beneficial.

I’m not giving you a solution. I never give any solution to anybody. I can simply indicate to you a way, a very vague way. But if you follow it, you will come to many great truths on the path.

[The woman says: I mainly want to have sex and he doesn’t... Our relationship gets less and less sexual all the time and somehow it doesn’t feel right.]

Both talk together. Whatsoever I have said to Vedant he will explain to you. Talk together and try to understand each other. If some understanding arises, good. Otherwise separate. There is no problem. Never live in a problem. Either drop the problem or drop the relationship, but there is no need to live in a problem continuously, because that is very destructive. First try to solve it, because the problem will arise again and again. You may be with somebody else, maybe another Vedant, that makes no difference; the problem will arise again.

So the problem has to be solved. By changing persons, nothing is solved. One only goes on moving and hoping that the right person may come up some day. But unless you are right in your understanding, the right person is not going to come. And Vedant is a beautiful person. You may not find another beautiful person so easily. So first try to solve the problem. Vedant is more significant than sexuality. So even if you have to drop a little sexuality, there is nothing wrong in it because it is the very lowest phenomenon... a very low phenomenon; nothing special about it.

Always sacrifice the lower for the higher. If you feel that he loves you, it is worth it. But I am not saying to sacrifice in a violent way. Try to understand what his problem is and try to create a rhythm...

come to an understanding. If you can make love once a week, good; twice a week, good. It is not a question of how many times you make love – it is a question of how intensely, how lovingly you make it. The quantity never satisfies anybody. Only quality satisfies. So never go for quantity – go for quality.

If he feels that it is good for his physiology, for his energy, to make love once a week, settle for it.

And it will be good because six days will create an appetite. To make love every day is to make it a routine. It is to profane it. Once a while when you are really flowing and he is flowing, and you are both moving naturally, spontaneously towards it, it is good. If you ask and he concedes, it is ugly, because he will be feeling that he has been used, and that he has been forced, manipulated. You will also feel that and you will not be happy. You will feel that he is making love to you only because you want it; he does not want it. And a woman can never feel good when she knows that the man is making love to her only because she wanted.

A woman feels happy only when she knows that the man wants to make love to her. So it can create what psychologists call a double-bind. For example the woman says to her husband that he never brings her flowers. Now there is a double-bind. If he brings the flowers she will not be happy because he has brought them only because she said to; he has not brought them on his own – so she will not be happy. If he does not bring them, she will be unhappy because even though she has told him to, he still does not. Now what to do in a double-bind? Whatsoever you do goes wrong.

If he makes love to you because you wanted it and he was not willing, not flowing into it, you will not feel happy. You will see that you have forced yourself onto him and that poor Vedant is simply suffering; it is not love. If he says no, you will feel unhappy – it is a double-bind. Always remember not to create double-binds. Never tell a man to bring you flowers. If he brings them, good. If he doesn’t, wait. But never utter such nonsense, because once you say something, there is a problem which is insoluble; it cannot be solved.

In human relationships, this is one of the most basic things to be remembered – never to create a double-bind, because it is so paradoxical that whatsoever you do will be wrong.

So first just try. It will be good. Growing a little higher than sex is always good, so don’t become miserable about it. But not more than three months; I give you three months’ time. Either solve it, come to an understanding – otherwise drop out of the relationship. One should never live with a problem too long. If you live too long with a problem, you become accustomed to it, habituated to it. In fact then you become so accustomed that even if a situation arises where the problem can be dropped, you will not drop it.

Psychologists say that if you put a mouse, a rat, in a psychological maze in which there are six tunnels and you put cheese in the fourth, once the rat discovers the cheese in the fourth, by and by he stops exploring other tunnels. He will go directly to the fourth.

When you remove the cheese from the fourth tunnel, he will be very confused. He will look and find there is no cheese, then he will come out, look around and will go in again; maybe he has not looked properly. Then he will come out and he will be very puzzled – what is the matter? Things are not going rightly. He will look in other tunnels and again he will come and look in the fourth – but not forever.

Psychologists say that there is only one difference between rats and man – that man will always go to the fourth tunnel. The rat will not always go. After a while he will understand that this doesn’t work; it is foolish to go into the fourth. But man is such a fool, he will continuously go to the fourth.

For his whole life he will make it a point, a principle. That’s what people call principles. A person goes to the church and he never finds any cheese there, but for the whole of his life he continues to go there. What is happening? He says that this is a principle, that he is a Christian and he believes in the church. But if you don’t find anything there, look somewhere else! There are temples, mosques, gurudwaras, and millions of other things. Why don’t you look? He says, ’I am a Christian. What do you think of me? I believe!’

Whenever a person says, ’I believe,’ he is saying that he denies the factual, he denies the actual. He does not see the fact. He believes that in the fourth the cheese used to be. It must be there because that is how Jesus said that he found – in the fourth. That’s how the Bible reports it was found – in the fourth. It must be there. It has to be there. If it is not there, then his belief is not enough; he believes more strongly.

Man is a very stupid animal. It is not as Aristotle says – that man is a rational animal. Not at all. He has not shown any rationality up to now. Rarely, few individuals have shown rationality, otherwise other individuals are simply stupid.

So if you live too long with a problem, it becomes your church. It becomes your creed, dogma, religion. It becomes your philosophy, your way of life – you start believing in it. Then even if there is somebody to show you that there exists no cheese in the fourth tunnel – things have changed they are no more as they used to be; you have to change your mind – you will still insist. That’s what people go on doing.

Things that used to work in your childhood with your parents cannot work in the wider world, but you go on believing in the same things. When you were a small child and you wanted something and your mother was not willing, you started crying and had a tantrum, and mother conceded. In life people do the same. Now there is no mother. If you don’t get something you start crying and there is nobody to fulfill it, the mother is no more there, the fourth tunnel is empty. It used to work in your childhood. It does not work now, but people go on doing the same.

So never live with a problem for too long, otherwise there is a tendency to make the problem your very way of life. Then you are doomed.

So three months I give you. Either solve the problem and come to a higher symphony between you two, otherwise drop clean out of the relationship with no complaint, no grudge. Find somebody else and let him find somebody else. But for three months I would like you to try, mm? Good.

CHAPTER 8

26 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A visitor said he had done Zazen; he liked Zazen but felt it was too mental, too much ’in the head’.]

Mm.... One has to come into the body before one can go beyond the body. It looks a little paradoxical, but unless you come deep into the body, you can never be free of the body. Experience liberates... any experience is liberating. If you go deep in sex, you will be liberated from sex. If you go deep in anger, you will transcend anger. If you move into the ego to the very extreme, it falls on its own accord. One should not be lukewarm, that’s all. One should go to the very end. And from that very end, the quantum leap.

So if you have not gone deep into the body and you do meditation, you will remain in the head; it will become a head trip. In fact you will become too heady. It will become almost like a headache because you will think and think and go into thoughts and thoughts – and there is no end to it. You will hover around and you will not have any roots and grounding.

The body is very much grounded in the earth; it is part of the earth. In the body are the roots. One has to go to those roots as deeply as possible. Once you have gone deeply into body, once you have experienced what this embodiment means, what exactly being embodied is all about, then suddenly from that extreme there is a jump, and in that jump you become a witness.And that is totally different from the head. The head is one polarity, the body is another, and above both, above body and mind, is you. And there is no way from the head directly to you. All the roads go via the body.

If you love a woman and you simply go on thinking about her in your head, it becomes cerebral, you cannot get any satisfaction out of it and you cannot get any dissatisfaction out of it. You simply go on playing with pictures – empty, meaningless. They cannot lead you anywhere – you go round and round; in a vicious circle you go on moving. It is very frustrating because nothing comes out of it. If you love the woman you have to go into the body, and through the body you have to love the woman. If the experience through the body becomes deep, then one day there is a possibility of a new dimension opening – and that is love through the spirit.

The head is really isolated. It has no interconnection. When you are in your head, you are a private thing. When you are in your body you are no more private. You are connected... you become part of the great continent.

That’s why to be authentically in the body is one of the ’musts’ of all spiritual growth. It gives you a feel of the real, of the authenticity, of the solid. The mind is very vague; it is made of the stuff that dreams are made of. The body is very solid, material, selective; it consists of reality. And if you pass through the body and go deep into it, you come to another corner. From there, for the first time, you have a glimpse of that which is beyond the body. It is not the head. This is the trinity.

If you allow me, I would like to call your head the holy ghost. It is a ghost – and nothing holy about it. The body is the son, the spirit is the father. This is the trinity. If you go on thinking and thinking, you become a ghost. It is better to be in the body than to be in thinking. At least you will be the son, and from the son the door opens towards the father.

Jesus is reported to have said, ’Nobody comes to my father unless he comes through me.’

Christianity has never decoded the symbolism. They think if you go through Buddha you will never reach to God; you have to go through Christ, because Christ says so: ’Nobody reaches to God unless he comes through me.’ But the meaning is totally different.

The sky is the father, the earth is the son, because the earth is out of the sky. It comes out of the sky and it dissolves into the sky. Out of nothing arises the form, and again back into nothing it dissolves.

Jesus is the form of the formless... embodiment of the unembodied... walks on the earth but does not belong to the earth. He is both – that is his paradox. He is man and God, body and spirit.

If you become too heady, you can become a great thinker, a philosopher, but your life will be very poor. You will not know anything real. So all the movements in the West that are for body sensitivity are going to create a real base for religion. Once you have known what the body is, you cannot be contained by the body. You start moving out of it to a new dimension – not of the body.... You don’t think. The body teaches you how to be. Then you can leave the body and still be. And the purest reality happens.

This to me, is the trinity. Beware of the holy ghost!

Prem means love and satyanam means truth . Love is the door to truth, and all else is false. The path is love and the goal is truth. And all else is just nonsense.

Religion consists only of two things – love and truth. If you become loving, you will start arriving home. If you become truthful, you will become loving. Truth is the innermost core of your being, and love is the sharing of it.

Truth is like a seed and love is like a flower. It releases its fragrance to the winds. So if a person is just after truth, there is every possibility he may become an island, closed. Many monks in the past have become very closed, island-like, almost dead. They were seeking just truth. It is difficult to seek truth alone, because it will kill you; it will be too much. You will not be able to have it. The very condition of having it, is to share it. The more you share, the more capable you become. The path of the monk is a half-path.

Unless you are also a lover, truth will go on being elusive. So love is to relate to people, and truth is to relate with oneself. We are not alone, we are not independent – we are interdependent. So the search for truth alone can be very suicidal. Love keeps balance.

So these two things you have to remember – that’s why I give you the name.

... Mm, do a few groups here. Just a little more effort, a little more let-go, rather, a little more surrender to the energy, more trust, and the target is not very far. Your arrow is ready: it can leave the bow any moment. So remain expectant – not expecting, just expectant. And there is a vast difference between the two.

When you expect, you know what you are expecting. Then there is a desire, a motivation, a projection into the future. When you are simply expectant, you don’t know what you are expecting.

You are simply in a thrill. Something is going to happen. That something is unknown. It can be X it can be Y, it can be Z. You don’t have any ideas – not even a vague idea about it, of what it is. And you cannot have any idea of what it is because it has never happened before. It is going to happen for the first time. It is going to be unique. It is going to be absolutely new.

Unless God is new, He is no more God. And unless meditation brings you a clearance that you have never been in, to a space that you have never visited – not even in your dreams; you have not even imagined it – then meditation is not happening. Only when you come to such a fresh and virgin land which has not been there in your mind in any way before – it is uncorrupted by your past, it is not a continuity with your past, it is a discontinuous explosion – then only meditation is happening. So remain expectant but not expecting. Nobody knows.... But this much I can say to you – something is going to happen, so be receptive. Remain in a welcoming mood.

I was reading just the other day about a Sufi mystic; Malik-bin-Dinar was his name. He would pray and meditate the whole day and then at night he would sit in his bed and pray – sometimes for the whole night; he would not fall asleep. His disciples became worried. They asked him, ’What are you doing, master?’

He said, ’I am expectant. He can come any moment, and I would not like that He came and Malik was fast asleep. It is just on the verge. I can feel... it is in the air. He is very close by. I don’t know His direction, I don’t know His form. I know very well when He comes I will not be able to recognise Him because I have not known Him before, but this will be unmannerly if He comes and I am asleep.

I am expectant. The whole day I meditate to prepare myself. The whole night I wait – He may be coming.’

A seeker never expects, but a seeker is always expectant, tremendously expectant. Immense is his expectancy... immense. That creates openness. If you expect something, that closes you, because expecting comes from the past. When you are simply waiting for some unknown to explode in you, or maybe you are going to explode into something unknown; nobody knows the whereabouts – then one is simply open, throbbing, thrilled... in a great passive receptivity.

So as I see it, your energy is very very ready. Trust it, go with it. Even if sometimes you feel that something crazy is going on, don’t be worried. I exist here for crazy people.

[The new sannyasin says: I work with crazy people.]

That’s very good. You work to treat them. I work to help them to become more and more and more crazy. You work to bring them back to the world. I work to help them farther out... to lead them to the ultimate craziness. That’s what ecstasy is.

Much is going to happen.

[A sannyasin says: I was in Goa for a few days and there by the ocean I feel it so much, and so much bliss. I’m so thankful that I am existing. All the no’s inside turn into a big yes.

But when I am here it is as if it is just a half flame; only a half flame burning. And I don’t understand why at this ashram I can’t be so ecstatic as I can be by the ocean.]

You will be – because it is always so. With the ocean there is no problem; with people there are problems. The ocean creates no problem for you. You may create problems for the ocean – that is up to you – but the ocean creates no problems for you. With the ocean in fact you are alone. The other does not exist. But with people you are not alone – and unless you learn how to be alone in a crowd, the ocean is not going to help.

This too is a sort of ocean – an ocean of consciousness... so many people with so many different waves and rhythms and vibrations. You become affected by them. The ocean simply does not care whether [you are] there or not. The ocean simply does not know anything about you; it doesn’t bother, it is not aware. You think that you are with the ocean. The ocean does not know that you are there, otherwise there also there will be trouble. Sometimes the ocean may like you, sometimes the ocean may not like you. Sometimes the ocean may be bored with you, sometimes the ocean may be happy with you. Sometimes the ocean will say, ’Just go away,’ but the ocean does not respond or react. It is simply there whether you come or not. You are alone.

With people the problem arises. Each person responds, reacts in a thousand and one ways. Unless you become such a witness, unless you become ocean-like – that whatsoever happens is happening and you are not worried, it does not make any difference to you.... Somebody insults you – it doesn’t make any difference. Somebody says, ’Hari, you are great’ – and it doesn’t make any difference.

When you become ocean-like then you can move in the crowd, in the market-place, undisturbed, undistracted, unperturbed.

If you remain by the ocean for long, by and by the beautiful feeling that has come to you will disappear, because there are so many people who live by the ocean and they don’t even know that the ocean exists; they have become completely oblivious. There are fisherman in Goa who simply would not be able to believe...’What nonsense are you talking? saying that sitting by the side of the ocean you feel so grateful and so peaceful and so silent.’ They have lived there – they have been born there; for centuries their parents and their parents parents have lived there, and their children will live there, and it has never happened. ’What nonsense are you talking ?’

If you live there a little longer you will become accustomed, and then this shattering that the vastness of the ocean brings to you, this total indifference that the ocean brings to you, will be lost. It is good once in a while to go, but that is not going to help really. It is an escape from people. I’m not saying don’t go to the ocean and to the mountains. Sometimes go – it is really beautiful – but it is not going to help your growth, your integration. It is only people who are going to help, because it is only people who disturb.

It is only people who create worries, anxieties. It is only people who penetrate your heart and poke you this way and that, and will not leave you in rest. Unless you learn how to live with people and yet far beyond, far away into the stars, then nothing is going to happen. Only this is going to become a deep integration in your heart.

So whatsoever you felt by the ocean, carry it here. I have chosen knowingly to remain in the market-place. I could have moved to Goa, but right now if I move to Goa I will not be of much help to you. It will be very good for me, but it will not be of much help to you. I can move to the Himalayas and you will have tremendous beauty, but sooner or later you will become accustomed to it and you will start hankering for the world. You will start hankering for people because only people can satisfy you and only people can dissatisfy you.

People are your atmosphere. We are not simply part of nature. We are part of a subtle atmosphere of humanity. If you remain outside of it there is every possibility that you may become primitive. It has happened to many people – and I am not for it. I would like you to go beyond society – not below it. Both look alike but they are not. You can fall back, you can become more animal-like. That’s what is happening in the West – the new generation and all sorts of revolts: hippies and yippies and others. That’s what is happening – they are falling out of the society, they are falling beyond it. It is not going to help.

Falling out of the society, you become a little less. Maybe you will be more helpful, but not for long.

Sooner or later you will be pulled back by the society because your own innermost being will feel starved. It is not only food that you need, it is not only air and water that you need. You need a subtle human vibration; that’s a subtle food that you need.

Sometimes it has happened that a few children have been found in the forest. Some wolf took a child, and a miracle of nature – they didn’t eat the child. They helped the child to grow. Four or five times within fifty years, this has happened. The child has grown like a wolf-man – absolutely in nature without any human contact.

Just a few years ago in Lucknow they found one child – twelve years of age, brought up in the forest by wolves. He was a wolf, he was not a man. He was unable even to stand on two feet, and he was absolutely animal-like. They tried hard to bring him back to humanity, to reclaim him. In that very effort he died – it was too much.

Just to help him to stand erect on two feet took six months, and even then, whenever there was some possibility, he would run on all fours; that was natural. After six months of effort they could teach him only one word of the human language – his name, ’Ram’. They started calling him Ram, and it took six months for the child to learn that when somebody asked him, What is your name’, he was able to say, ’Ram’ – that’s all. His eyes were absolutely empty and stupid; his brain remained retarded.

If hippies and yippies are allowed, this will be the final result. No, man has to go beyond society –

not below it. You have to use society to go beyond it; you have to use society as a ladder. Much is wrong with it, but falling out of it is not going to help, but going beyond it. Buddha is beyond it; below is a wolf-man. Both are no more parts of the society. Buddha is not a part of the society because now he is higher, greater. A wolf-man is also not a part of the society because he is no more human.

He is inhuman, fallen back.

My whole effort is this – that you should grow with people, and you should grow beyond them. Never make the ocean or the mountain a substitute for people – there is no substitute. For a human being, humanity is his natural element. And there is much temptation for the mind to move away from the society because people really create so many problems.

Live with a person and you will know many problems. You live with [your partner] and then you know how many problems. Just such a beautiful [woman] – she can drive you crazy! Then one starts thinking, ’Leave all. Go somewhere where you are alone,’ but then you are escaping from the challenge.

Never escape from any challenge. Tackle it. Try to understand it. Become a witness to it, become more conscious of it. Be in it deliberately and still retain something like a far-away look, a distance.

Remain in it and yet distant. That’s the whole art of religion – to be in the world and not be of the world.

But sometimes when you get too lost, go to the ocean, go to the mountains. Have a feel there of how things should be, and let that experience remain with you when with people. If you can bring your ocean to your relationship and it remains there, then something has happened; otherwise you are dreaming.

Try it here. Good.

[The sannyasin, who is a musician, then asks: Is the music also a sort of ocean?]

It is because it simply gives you a totally different dimension. Many dimensions are available. For example when you are listening to me you are part of a totally different dimension – you become part of me. Then you start feeling my vibe.... Then you start moving with me – howsoever reluctantly.

Even a few steps – but you move in a different dimension.

Music is a different dimension. You can be completely drowned in it... you can become drunk with it. It is a great therapy, and it can make you whole and healthy and holy. It is meditation, and a very natural meditation.

[Osho said that just as physics says that everything is made of electrons, the eastern esoteric sciences say that everything is made of sound – not of electricity.]

Music was born originally out of meditation, because in deep meditation one starts feeling the cosmic sound: ’omkar’ – what the zen people call ’the sound of one hand clapping’. It is not a produced sound. When two hands clap, it is a produced sound. When one hand creates the sound, without any clapping really – because there is nothing else to clap with – when the sound comes out of oneness, unity, unison, then it is natural... the cosmic sound.

It is always there. When you become silent, you hear it. When you have too much noise in your head, you cannot hear it. Not that it is not there. It is always there, but you are not there. Your own noise, your own fussing mind, goes on creating such barriers that the still, small voice cannot be heard. Out of that original sound, music has been created.

In the East we say that all music is an effort to bring that cosmic sound to be. That’s why there is spirituality in indian music... a new sensitivity which is nowhere to be found. In the western music there is too much sexuality, it is too sensuous. In the indian music there is too much spirituality –

it is not sensuous at all. It silences you, calms you down, cools you, and brings a breeze from the eternal... the breath of the eternal. It is an effort to give you an indication of the cosmic sound.

It is just as when I am talking to you. My whole effort in talking is to bring you something that cannot be talked about... to say something that cannot be said... to bring to words something which is wordless... to define something which cannot be defined and is immeasurable. In the same way, music is an effort to say something about the cosmic sound.

The greatest master is one, listening to whom you naturally fall into meditation: that is the criterion of a real musician, a real master – otherwise people are technicians. One can play the sitar beautifully and you can enjoy it – it’s good, an enjoyment.

But a person becomes a master when his created sound brings you something of the uncreated...

when his created sound has a gospel in it... side by side comes the unknown... travelling with the sound comes the soundless. The sound you will forget, but the soundless will remain with you.

Music is born out of meditation, and so is dance. In fact all that is beautiful has come out of meditation because there is no other way for it to come. Meditation is the door.

Drown yourself in music – and don’t practise it just like an art and a skill. Practise it like a meditation, practise it religiously. It is the holiest of holies.

y

CHAPTER 9

27 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin said that he experienced difficulty in concentrating in meditations.]

The first thing – you should not try to concentrate. Concentration is not going to help you at all.

Concentration will create a tension in the mind. Relaxation is going to help – not concentration.

There are two types of people: there are people who can be helped by concentration, and there are people who can be helped only through relaxation – and both processes are different.

In concentration you have to focus your mind on something. That will not be possible for you. Your energy cannot move that way. In relaxation you have simply to relax, unfocused – it is just the contrary to concentration. So I will give you one method that you start doing in the night.

Just before you go to sleep, sit in your chair. Be comfortable. Comfort is the most essential part of it.

For relaxation one has to be very comfortable. So make yourself comfortable. Whatsoever posture you want to take in the chair, take. Close your eyes and relax the body. Just from the toe up to the head, feel inside where you feel the tension. If you feel it at the knee, relax the knee. Just touch the knee and say to the knee, ’Please relax.’ If you feel some tension in the shoulders, just touch the place and say, ’Please relax.’ Within a week you will be able to communicate with your body. And once you start communicating with your body, things become very easy.

The body need not be forced, it can be persuaded. One need not fight with the body – that’s ugly, violent, aggressive, and any sort of conflict is going to create more and more tension. So you need not be in any conflict – let comfort be the rule. And the body is such a beautiful gift from God that to fight with it, is to deny God Himself. It is a shrine... we are enshrined in it; it is a temple. We exist in it and we have to take every care of it – it is our responsibility.

So for seven days.... It will look a little absurd in the beginning because we have never been taught to talk to our own body – and miracles can happen through it. They are already happening without our knowing it. When I am saying something to you, my hand follows in a gesture. I am talking to you – it is my mind that is communicating something to you. My body is following it. The body is en rapport with the mind.

When you want to raise the hand, you have to do nothing – you simply raise it. Just the very idea that you want to raise it and the body follows it; it is a miracle. In fact biology or physiology has not yet been able to explain how it happens. Because an idea is an idea; you want to raise your hand –

it is an idea. How does this idea become transformed into a physical message to the hand? And it does not take any time at all – in a split second; sometimes without any time gap.

For example I am talking to you and my hand will go on collaborating; there is no time gap. It is as if the body is running parallel to the mind. It is very sensitive – one should learn how to talk to it, and many things can be done.

So the first thing. Relax in the chair, have the light dark or dim as you like, but the light should not be bright. Tell everybody for these twenty minutes no disturbance, no phone call, nothing whatsoever...

as if the world is no more for those twenty minutes. Close the doors, relax in the chair with loose clothes so there is no tightness anywhere, and start feeling where the tension is. You will find many spots of tension. Those have to be relaxed first, because if the body is not relaxed, the mind cannot be either. The body creates the situation for the mind to relax. The body becomes the vehicle of relaxation.

When you want to be angry, or when you are angry, if the body does not collaborate with you, you will not be able to be angry. A subtle mechanism follows, certain poisons are released into the blood: your face becomes red, your eyes become red, your hands want to beat or to kill or to hit. You want to shout or shriek, and the whole body is ready. Sometimes try – without any bodily symptom of anger, try to be angry, and you will feel that it is impossible. Unless the body gives a base, nothing is possible. So the first thing is to create a body base.

So just go on touching the place. Wherever you feel some tension, touch your own body with deep love, with compassion. The body is your servant, and you have not paid anything for it – it is simply a gift. And so Complicated, so tremendously complex that science has not been able yet to make anything like the body. But we never think about that; we don’t love the body. On the contrary; we feel angry about it. And so-called saints have taught many foolish things to people – that the body is the enemy, that the body is your degradation. that the body is pulling you downwards, that the body is the sin; it is all sin.

If you want to commit a sin, the body helps, that’s true. But the responsibility is yours, not the body’s.

If you want to meditate, the body is ready to help you for that too. If you want to go downwards. the body follows you. If you want to go upwards, the body follows you. The body is not the culprit at all.

The whole responsibility is of your own consciousness – but we always try to find scapegoats. The body has been one of the most ancient scapegoats. You can throw anything. and the body is dumb.

It cannot retaliate, it cannot answer, it cannot say that you are wrong. So whatsoever you say, there is no reaction from the body against it.

So go on all over the body and surround it with loving compassion, with deep sympathy, care. This will take at least five minutes, and you will start feeling very very limp. relaxed, almost sleepy. Then bring your consciousness to the breathing: relax the breathing.

The body is our outermost part, the consciousness the innermost, and the breathing is the bridge that joins them together. That’s why once breathing disappears, the person is dead – because the bridge is broken; now the body cannot function as your home, your abode.

So when the body is relaxed, just close your eyes and see your breathing; relax that too. Have a little talk to the breathing: ’Please relax. Be natural.’ You will see that the moment you say, ’Please relax,’ there will be a subtle click. Ordinarily breathing has become very unnatural, and we have forgotten how to relax it because we are so continuously tense that it has become almost habitual for the breathing to remain tense.

So just tell it to relax two or three times and then just remain silent.

[Osho said at this stage, to start to say ’one’ on the exhalation, and went on to describe this stage of the meditation. See ’The Passion for the Impossible’, September 3rd, where Osho talks about this in detail.

Osho said the sannyasin should see whether it disturbed his sleep or not, because that was possible.

If it did, then the meditation could be done two or three hours before sleeping.]

[The sannyasin asks: In between, when the breath goes out and comes in, will there be a little pause where one says, ’One’?]

No – when it goes out, say ’one’. When it is coming in, remain silent. This ’one’ and silence will give you a new understanding between word and wordlessness. This ’one’ will be the word, and not saying anything will be the wordlessness. This ’one’ will be part of language and part of mind, and that wordlessness will not be a part of the mind – it will be a part of no-mind, of the beyond.

You will be moving just between these two – the finite and the infinite. Between these two shores your consciousness will continuously move and there will be created a very subtle harmony. So continue this.... And your energy is moving perfectly well. Much is possible.

[To a metal-sculptor from England]

You can make something here, because I would like to see what you do. Whatsoever we do, it’s part of our being. Each act manifests our being. It cannot be otherwise, because it comes out of you.

And I love creative people, because only creative people are people. Those who are not creative, they are things, not people. And I also work on metal and stone and things like that! (laughter) Right? (a chuckle)

[A sannyasin, present at darshan with her husband, expressed concern over their relationship, saying she had difficulty in communicating with him. Osho talked at length to her about using her energy – of which she has much – creatively, in areas outside her husband and child.]

[The husband said: I have difficulty in relating to people emotionally. I’ve done quite a lot of Vipassana meditation...(maybe) I use the Vipassana meditation as an excuse not to show my feelings... It’s a fear of coming out and showing myself emotionally.]

Mm mm.... Do one thing – in hypnosis they call it the confusion technique. For example, you are walking on the street and somebody comes and collides with you: he is in a rush or running somewhere in a hurry and he collides with you. The natural thing is to get angry, annoyed – a natural reaction.

Now this technique is to confuse the person, because if you are annoyed, that is natural; he was expecting that. Before he says, ’I am sorry,’ confuse him. Do something to confuse him. For example just look at your watch and say, ’It is two o’clock’ – as if he has asked for the time. And make sure it is not two o’clock – you will confuse him more!

Then go on your way. Don’t mention at all that he collided with you and don’t give him a chance to say that he is sorry or anything. After one block stand and see what he is doing. He will still be staring at you – he will be confused. You will have completely messed him around. Play this game for at least two weeks.

And find out new ways, invent ways, and then tell me after two weeks how you are feeling. Then I will talk about it. This will bring you out, it will pull you out, mm? Good !

[The Encounter group is present.

A group member says she is confused about everything.]

Then you became more aware?

One thing has to be understood, that confusion is never really the problem. The confusion arises because you believe in certain things. Just now I was explaining to him about the confusion technique. The other person believes that he will react in a certain way – that’s why you can confuse him. You cannot confuse a madman.

The confusion arises out of beliefs. Confusion is not really the problem. It is the belief that is the problem. If a person can learn how to live without beliefs. there will be no confusion at all. Confusion simply disappears; it is a by-product of belief. You must have some belief in your mind of how life should be, and when it is not, there is confusion; how you should behave. and when you do not, there is confusion; how people should relate to you, and when they don’t, there is confusion.

You are carrying a dead pattern of life, and when life doesn’t fit with it – and it is never going to fit with it – there is confusion. Once you drop that dead map, life is flowing and there is no confusion. If you believe that people are good, are supposed to be good. and then they are not, then what to do?

You are confused. If you think that people are bad and sometimes they are not, you are confused.

When you don’t have any conception, when you simply relate to the fact, whatsoever it is, and you don’t have any prefixed idea about it; only the fact is there – that this man is behaving in such a way

– then there is no confusion. You relate to the fact, and there is clarity, tremendous clarity.

So drop your beliefs. Don’t ask how not to be confused, and don’t ask how to solve the confusions: these are wrong questions. They will not lead you beyond confusion – they will create more confusion. Drop all your beliefs – they are creating problems. You are carrying a map, and life goes on continuously changing. It is as if you are carrying a map of Poona with you, and wherever you go, things are continually changing. Roads are moving from here to there. The crossroad used to be here yesterday, now it is not there today. The station used to be in the south, it has moved to the north . You are carrying a map – and all maps are of yesterday.

Life never remains there. No yesterday can hold life. It goes on moving, changing, so there is immense confusion. You throw that map, burn it, and then suddenly there is no confusion. Burn the scriptures and there is no confusion. Don’t be an idealist and there is no confusion. Then there is clarity, tremendous clarity, because your eyes have nothing to corrupt you. They are simply receptive. Whatsoever is, is.

You love a man and you have certain ideas about how a lover should behave. No lover ever behaves like that. Those ideas are just dead ideas... ideals which have never existed. When this man doesn’t fit with the idea, you are in trouble. You try to fit this man to the idea, so you start killing this man. He feels annoyed, he feels that you are aggressive, and he feels angry; you are trying to put him into a category of the husband, the good husband.

You are creating unnecessary trouble for yourself. There are no categories and people should not be categorised. Life is a process. It is changing. Every moment is a change. It is continuously changing into something else. So if you really want to get rid of confusion, get rid of all beliefs. Never be a Christian, never be a Hindu, never be a Buddhist – otherwise you will be confused. Never believe in any belief systems. Then suddenly all the clouds disappear... there is opening and the sunlight, and everything is as clear as can be; everything becomes transparent.

A man of no belief is a transparent man. He is simply there as he is. And for a transparent man the whole life is transparent, because life is just like the way you are. It is your interpretation. You follow me?

Just look at what beliefs you are carrying, what ’shoulds’ you are imposing on life, what moral concepts and religious concepts and political philosophies you are carrying in your head. You must be carrying much of a load, much junk; that is creating the trouble.

Life is not confusion at all. It is there in sheer aliveness... it is its very aliveness – that’s why it goes on changing. And you never change your concepts. All those concepts have been put into you since you were a small child, when you were not aware at all, not even conscious about what is happening, what is being taught to you. And not only that dead concepts are in you – contradictory concepts are in you. That creates more trouble, more confusion. You cannot find a single concept in you that has not, side by side, its opposite also.

Your parents, your society, your culture, they go on giving you double-binds. For example a mother says to the child, ’Be spontaneous.’ Now what nonsense! How can the child be spontaneous? Either he is spontaneous or he is not. If he is, finished. If he is not, that is his responsibility. But how is he supposed to be spontaneous? If he tries to be spontaneous, it will not be spontaneity. If he does not try, the mother is angry. Now a double-bind has been given to the child.

There is a very famous book about relaxation. The name of the book is ’You Must Relax’. Now the ’must’... how can you relax with a must? You must relax? Now the must creates a tension and relaxation will become impossible. You can relax, but must is not needed. And watch.... You will see that all ideas that you are carrying have their contradictions in your mind, so you are pulled in opposite directions.

On the one hand, they go on teaching you that man is good because in each and in every man there is God. On the other hand they go on telling you ’Never trust anybody. People are very cunning and deceptive; be aware, otherwise you will be cheated.’

Now you say that people are good and God is within them and then you say, ’Never believe anybody.’

These things you go on carrying within your mind, and through these contradictions you go on looking at life. Once you drop all these contradictory systems and your mind is clean, then only life reflects – and those reflections are beautiful, never confusing.

Try to look at life as it is, just the facticity of it with no condemnation, no justification, no rationalisation.

Just look at the fact and don’t go beyond it. It is so – and nothing can be done about a fact – one has to accept it. What can you do about it? Nothing can be done about it.

So just drop beliefs, accept the facts, remain alert. Mm? Good.

CHAPTER 10

28 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A visitor, motioned forward to take sannyas, asked first if he could say something: I have a very strong faith in Jesus Christ and this strength brought me out of a very deep bondage. I haven’t been able to discharge this help, so what I wanted to do was to build this love up more. I would like to be able to get rid of myself and to give myself up totally to the spiritual life.]

The first thing... your belief will always strengthen you. Your belief belongs to you – it has nothing to do with Jesus. Your belief is part of your ego – the more you strengthen your belief, the more egoistic you will become. Non-ego needs to be totally free of all beliefs – Jesus included, ’I’ included

– because belief is a bondage. It may bring you out of one bondage – it will take you into another.

Belief means a concept, a pattern of thinking. Freedom needs no pattern. Freedom is without any pattern. Freedom simply needs no boundaries to it. It is open – a belief is closed.

For example. if you believe in Jesus. it will be difficult for you to believe in Buddha. Then you miss Buddha; your belief has become a confinement. If you believe in me, much more will be excluded and that you will be missing.

Here I am not teaching new ways to believe: my whole teaching is not to believe. but just be.

You want to get rid of yourself.... Who is this who wants to get rid of the self ? It is you ! So the very effort to get rid of the self will be strengthening the self. One has simply to accept. There is no need to get rid of anything; one has simply to accept. The way you are, God wants you to be. The way you are, that’s how you should be; otherwise is not possible. It has come naturally to you the way you are, it has happened naturally. You have not done anything in particular to be that way, so now this effort to get rid of will really be creating more ego because th is wi 11 be your effort to do something.

So the first thing – love Jesus, but don’t believe. Love is open. You can love Jesus, you can love Buddha, you can love me, you can love your friends, you can love your wife, you can love the sun and the moon and the stars. Love is open – belief is closed. Belief is mental – the head is involved.

Love is of the heart. So the first thing to be understood is that you don’t make it a head trip.

The head is absolutely a bondage, utterly an imprisonment. People are caged in their heads. Get out of the head and become more loving. Love Jesus – he is so beautiful – but don’t make it a belief, so if Buddha comes across your path, you can love him also. In fact your love for Jesus will make you capable of loving Buddha. Your love for Buddha will make you capable of loving Lao Tzu. Your love for me will make you capable of loving the whole. So love – don’t believe.

Love is trust – belief is not trust. Underneath the belief there is always doubt. That’s why you are asking. You ask me how to strengthen your belief. What are you asking? Go into it, dig into it. You are saying that you have certain doubts hidden deep in you. You have to get rid of them so your belief becomes stronger. The weakness of the belief comes from the strength of the doubts.

You want to kill the doubts so the belief becomes absolutely strong, but if a belief has doubts inside it, it is not total. You can destroy the doubts forcibly, but you cannot annihilate them. They will go on getting deeper and deeper in you. A very paradoxical situation arises, a dilemma: you want to get rid of them and they go on entering your unconscious more and more. They go deeper so that you cannot find them. So in the conscious mind you become a believer, and in the unconscious you remain a sceptic, a doubter. The greater the belief, the greater the doubt. Their strength is always the same. Try to understand me.

If your belief comes very strong, in the unconscious your doubt will become strong in the same proportion, because they balance each other. A strong doubt needs a strong belief to push it down, and the strong belief creates the strong doubt. The proportion always remains the same: they are like two wheels of a bullock cart.

When I say. ’Drop belief,’ then there is a possibility to drop doubt also, because when you don’t believe there is no question of doubting. How can you doubt without belief, tell me? If you want to doubt something, in the first place you will have to believe in something. If you don’t believe in anything, how can you doubt? Doubt is not possible, doubt becomes impossible.

So I can teach you how to make doubt impossible – I will not teach you how to destroy doubt – and the way to make doubt impossible is to drop belief, so you cut from the very root.

Just think of a man who does not believe in God. How can he doubt God? If a man does not believe in the future. how can he doubt it? If a man does not believe in survival after death, how can he doubt it? So the people whom you think of as atheists, sceptical people, are not really atheists.

Because if you really know that there is no God and you don’t have any belief, how can you go on fighting with the concept of God? I have come across people who have wasted their whole life trying to prove that there is no God.

Now this is absurd – wasting your whole life trying to prove that there is no God. If there is no God

– finished ! Why bother about it? Why should you be worried about it? The very worry shows that deep down there is a belief.

So this is my analysis – that a believer believes in the conscious and disbelieves in the unconscious.

The unbeliever disbelieves the conscious and believes in the unconscious. They are the same people: One is standing on his head, one is standing on his feet – they are not different people.

I can make you a totally new man – neither a believer nor a doubter, neither a theist nor an atheist.

I can really make you open. Drop the belief and then doubts will disappear by themselves, because they are shadows of believing. And I am not saying to drop Jesus. In fact if you believe in Jesus, the belief will stand as a barrier between you and Jesus.

Never be a Christian if you really want to come closer to Christ. Your very Christianity will become a barrier, because the very dogma kills truth, the very creed kills love. Love needs no creed, no dogma, no bibles. Love is simply there, undefined, vulnerable, open... flowing in all directions. Love Jesus, and in that love nothing will be excluded.

If you are here with me and if you want to become a sannyasin, love me, but remember that that love should not become exclusive. It should be all-inclusive. If I become a barrier to your love, then I am your enemy. If you love me, you will love Jesus, you will love Zarathustra, you will love Buddha, you will love Patanjali – because they are all flowers of the same dimension. You love the very dimension – the dimension of the divine. And then you love people who are not yet a Jesus, a Buddha, a Patanjali, because they are also moving – zigzag, but moving in the same direction, because God is the destiny of all.

You can go against God, but still God remains your destiny. You can keep your back towards God and you can run away from Him but you can not run anywhere, because wherever you run, He is there.

As I can see, you are very much afraid. Deep unconscious doubts are there, so you want to make your belief more concrete. more solid. If you go to somebody else, they will help, but I cannot help that way. I will really help, but my help is not going to be according to you; it can only be according to me, because I am not here to impose any belief on you. I simply want you to be in such a total openness that no belief is needed. You simply trust life, and life includes all.

In fact, Christians talk about Christ but they don’t trust in him. They cannot.

In Dostoyevsky’s very famous novel, ’The Brothers Karamazov’. there is an incident... very beautiful.

It is fictitious, but very significant. Jesus comes back in the eighteenth century to see how things are going. Mm? for eighteen hundred years Christianity has existed, the church has spread all over the world. Christianity has become the biggest religion ever, the strongest religion ever, the richest religion ever. So he wanted to see how things were going.

He comes to Rome and appears just in front of the house of the Inquisitor who was killing, ordering many murders and burning many people because they were witches and anti-Christians and this and that. Ordinary people surround him, and a few of them start recognising him. Somebody says,

’He looks exactly like Jesus,’ but they are a little puzzled about how Jesus could have come. But still they feel.... Somebody touches his feet. His very presence is enough proof.

And then comes the Grand Inquisitor – everybody is afraid. He comes and he says, ’What are you doing here? This man seems to be a pretender. Jesus came only once and he is not going to come again. Catch hold of this young man and take him into my house and put him into a cell.’

So Jesus is taken and imprisoned in a cell. In the night, at midnight, with a small candle, the Grand Inquisitor comes into the cell, and there is a dialogue between Jesus and the Grand Inquisitor – a tremendously significant dialogue.

The Grand Inquisitor said, ’I have recognised you, but please, you are not needed any more. You are the old disturber. You disturbed the religion that was there eighteen hundred years ago. If you come again you will disturb Christianity. We have managed with much effort and are doing perfectly well. You are not needed at all. You can rest in peace in heaven. We are your representatives here, and if you have something to say, you can say it to us, but you need not go to the masses directly.’

Then he says, ’One thing I always wanted to say to you, and now that the chance is here and you are here, I would like to say it to you.’ When Jesus was meditating eighteen hundred years ago, the devil had appeared to him and had offered him three things. He had said, ’If you are really the son of God, turn these stones into bread.

’Second thing. if you are really the son of God, jump from the hill or from the tower – the scriptures say that angels will be waiting there to take you into their hands and you will not be hurt. If you can do these two things, I am here to help you to become the king of the world. I can make you the supreme sovereign of the world.’

The old man, the Inquisitor, says to Jesus, ’You refused those things: that was absolutely wrong –

you should have turned stones into bread. Religion lives on miracles, and people don’t want freedom

– people want miracles, people want power, people want magic. People don’t want truth, and you offer truth – that’s why you were crucified. If you would have turned those stones into bread, you would have been acclaimed as the son of God, but you refused – and that was wrong.

’Somehow during these eighteen centuries we have managed to convince people that you are a miracle man. Now don’t come back and disturb whatsoever we have established. You should have jumped from the hill or from a tower or from the temple of Jerusalem, and you should have proved that you are the son of God; then there would have been no trouble. Then all the religions of the world would have disappeared and we would have been the only religion. You missed the opportunity because you were more interested in silence, in peace and love – and people are interested in power.

You never cared for people,’ the old man says to Jesus.

’If you really cared for people you should have done what people needed to be done. The devil offered you the kingdom of the world: you should have accepted it, because if you had become the king of the world the whole world would have been helped, because people worship power. What you denied, we have tried – and we have managed well.

’Christianity has become a kingdom, a very subtle kingdom – an undeclared kingdom. And almost half the world is ruled by us in your name. I pray you please... we will continue to worship you, but don’t come again.

Jesus took the old man in his arms, kissed his pale lips and went out of the room. The old man said,

’Go – go forever, and never, never come back again.’

This is the situation: Christianity stands as a barrier. I can make you an unchristian. I can help you to dissolve all your beliefs so that in your purity of heart, you can love. That love is unaddressed

– Buddha, Jesus or Zarathustra; it has no address to it. You simply love, you love those who have attained... you love those who are trying to attain. You love those who have failed but who will attain one day, you love those also who are called sinners, those who have been making all effort not to attain – you love all. But for that a mind is needed which has no beliefs.

A believing mind is not a loving mind.

I can give you trust but no belief. And once beliefs are gone, your doubts will disappear: they are shadows of the beliefs. Each belief carries its own doubt. When there is no belief, there is no doubt, and then trust arises.

[A newly arrived sannyasin says: I love you, you are in my heart, but I am very afraid.]

Mm, that is natural. Wherever there is much love, there is much fear. There are three times in life when there is much fear. One is at birth, passing through the birth canal.

The child has been in the womb for nine months. It is nine months for us – for a child it is almost eternity because he has no time sense, he does not know any clock time, so for the child, nine months is almost eternity – never ending, no beginning, no end. And it is so comfortable that even all the sophisticated instruments of modern science have not been able to make anything like the womb and its comforts. It is so comfortable – no worry, no work, not even the need to breathe. The mother breathes for the child, the mother eats for the child. The child is simply there resting, floating in a certain chemical juice... weightless. The child has nothing to do – it just is.

Then one day he has to leave this beautiful home, this comfortable home, this womb, and he leaves it not knowing where he is going. Of course fear arises – and the passage is very narrow that the child has to pass through; it is suffocating. Passing through that canal the child feels it is almost death. He does not know anything about death, but there is just an unconscious fear that something terrible is going to happen – and it is already happening. So one fear arises when the child is born

– one of the greatest fears.

Primal therapy works to bring that fear back into consciousness so that it can be wiped out; otherwise it remains there for the whole life as a base, as a foundation of your whole life. Your very foundation is on fear. That’s why everybody everywhere is trembling. People are doing things but trembling inside, always apprehensive – something wrong is going to happen; some misfortune is always there it seems. The fear is not of anything in particular, just a fear is there. Primal therapy works to undo it, to bring it to consciousness. And whenever some cause is brought to consciousness, it disappears. That is the alchemy of consciousness.

If you live with the effect, you will live with it forever. You cannot drop the effect, but if you move to the cause, then with just the very awareness of the cause it disappears, and with the cause the effect also. That is the mechanism of how consciousness helps, how awareness helps.

Then there is a second fear – that is of love. That is more than the first and bigger than the third.

The third is of death. When the first phenomenon happens – when you are born – you are very unconscious, and in fact you cannot do anything about it – you have to be born so it is not your choice. It is just like a calamity – one has to accept it. Whether you accept it or not, it has to happen, there is no alternative to it. And in the same way death has to happen; there is no alternative to it.

Once you are alive you are going to die, so you cannot do anything about it; you are helpless.

But with love, you can do something, you can resist, so the fear becomes tremendous. You cannot resist birth, you cannot resist death and these are the only three fears in life: birth, death and love.

Birth and death on both sides, and love just in the middle.

And love is the greatest of all the three – the greatest because you can resist... the greatest because you are aware... the greatest because it is going to be your responsibility and your choice. It is the greatest because if you choose not to choose – that too is possible – then too there is trouble. If you choose not to choose, you will suffer. So there is fear, because without love life is meaningless.

If you choose to choose, you are entering into danger... you are accepting a sort of death – and deliberately, consciously... nobody is forcing you. That’s why there are many people – millions of people – who live without love; they have never been courageous enough to accept it.

Then there are many types of love. You can love things, then there is not much fear. Fear is there....

If you love a beautiful car, there is fear. You will be driving it and be continuously afraid that some accident may happen or that somebody may brush the car, or if you leave it outside on the road, somebody may throw a stone – so you are afraid. Even when you love a thing you are afraid because something may happen, but that is the least fear.

Then you love a person as a son, as a father. as a mother. as a husband, as a wife. You love a person – more fear is there. because things can be replaced. If one car is destroyed, you can replace it by another car exactly like it; there is no problem about it. Persons cannot be replaced; they are irreplaceable. If you lose your lover, you lose him forever. If your son dies, he dies. So more fear arises.

And then the third and the greatest fear-provoking love is falling in love with a master. That is almost falling in love with the unknown .

So first, love is the greatest fear out of all the three fears: death, birth, love. And then love of a master is again the greatest fear among three loves: things, persons and the unknown. So it is natural, mm? Just accept its naturalness, and in spite of it, go on moving towards me.

You cannot go back. You have already taken that step from which return is not possible. You can do only one thing. You can remain stuck there – that is not going to help. You will feel stagnant, you will become very worried – back you cannot go. The choice is either to remain where you are, stuck there, or you can move ahead. It is going to be a death of sorts.

I can only promise you death – but only out of death is resurrection. Only out of death will you be reborn again. Only out of death will you become new. Only out of death is the blessing, the celebration, because the eternity opens its doors, the timeless. Only time will die when you die in me. Only mind will die when you die in me. The timeless and the mindless will be revealed to you.

It is going to be a revelation, so gather courage.

This time it is going to happen (a chuckle). Don’t be worried. (Osho leans forwards and touches her bowed head.) And I will be after you – don’t be worried!

[An elderly, white-haired sannyasin, asked what she could do about the headaches she was experiencing. She experienced a very hot sensation on the head and felt it was because of the movement of energy there.]

It is energy. Do one thing: whenever you feel the headache, just sit silently and go into the headache.

Don’t fight with it – accept it, enjoy it, and go into it. Try to feel how intense it is. Try to see how much head is covered by it. Try to find out what the form of it is, and by and by penetrate it and try to find out what colour is there. You will find colour and you will find form.

[The sannyasin then says that after the headache she has a very strong depression and she thinks about how people kill themselves.]

No, because she has not yet accepted the headache, that’s why the depression comes. What I am saying is that once she accepts it, enjoys it, goes into it, she will see the form, the colour, the intensity.

First it will become very very intense. It will become almost hitting as if a knife is going there inside.

It will be very intense, but go with it; don’t fight with it. Once it has become intense, you will see that it comes to peak – as if everything disappears, only the headache remains. And then in a moment the whole headache will disappear, and you will feel so relaxed and happy, as you have never felt before.

It is energy, not a headache.

[The sannyasin said she felt so depressed that she was even thinking of killing herself.]

No, no, nothing.... This is just energy. When this energy reaches to certain points in the head.... The mechanism is this – that the head has two centres. One centre is of life and one centre is of death, so when the energy comes to the death centre, you will feel tremendous headaches and the idea of death will arise.

When you accept this, when you go into it, the energy starts moving towards the higher centre of life, which is beyond the centre of death. Once the energy reaches to the life centre, you will feel so happy, so ecstatic – more than you have ever dreamt about. It is just the centre of death that has been touched by the energy. When that energy touches the death centre, you will feel ideas of death

– that people are killing you, or that you could kill yourself, commit suicide. These are just because of the energy passing through the death centre.

Once energy has reached to the life centre, you will feel so beautiful and so happy. Just the opposite will happen.

Now even brain surgeons have come to know this phenomenon. They open the whole head and with electrodes they touch centres to find out what the centres are, and where they are. If they touch a particular centre, immediately the idea of suicide arises in the person and the person says,

’I am feeling like committing suicide.’ They take the electrode away; he is okay. Again they touch the centre and he feels that he wants to commit suicide. Take it away – he is okay. Touch it again – the same comes. So that centre touched by electricity brings the idea. It is your inner electricity that is passing through the same centre.

There are certain centres which, when touched by an electrode, make the person feel very sexual.

If you go on giving electricity to him, he can have a sexual orgasm and he will feel more sexual than he has ever felt before. Take the electrode away – he is pacified. That’s why they say now that sooner or later we can invent small pocketsize computers in which there will be at least four or five buttons. If somebody wants sexual pleasure, he can just push the sexual centre. and the electricity starts going into the sex centre and he can have sex with no sexuality. Nobody will ever know what is happening.

He can keep it just in the pocket and push it and he will feel so beautiful and so happy and so joyous. If he wants to feel unhappy, he can push another button. If he wants to feel happy, he can push another button. If he wants to feel angry, he can push another button. He wants to feel compassion, he can push another button. Now this has really become possible.

Yoga has known it for thousands of years – that when energy passes through a certain centre, a certain feeling arises. Your energy is passing through the death centre. That’s why the idea comes to kill yourself or even to murder others. But it is nothing to be worried about. It will go. Good, Bhakti.

[To a recently-arrived sannyasin says now he is okay.]

Mm, good ! Now is the only time... all else is false.

If you are happy now, you are happy, because there is no other time. Now is the only time there is.

Remember it. The past is gone and gone forever. The future has not yet come and will never come, because it never does. Future is that which never comes.

So this moment – this split second – is the only reality. If you learn and know how to be happy in this split second, you have the key. Protect the key – otherwise somebody can steal it! Mm? Good.

CHAPTER 11

29 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[To a visitor]

One thing has always to be remembered – that we are not to control the energy. We are just to help it wherever it is moving. We are not to direct it into a certain direction. We are just to help it wherever it is going. We have to go with it. Ordinarily the mind tries to control. It tries to give direction, it tries to give a discipline, it has some ideals to force on the energy. Those ideals are the most dangerous things; that’s what has created so much misery in the world.

My whole effort is to make you natural, spontaneous, and to let the energy control you, not vice versa. It is not you, your mind, that has to control the energy – it is the energy that has to control you, the energy has to possess you.

[Osho recommended that she do the Tao and Tathata groups, saying that they would help her to relax into the energy.]

Energy has its own way if we don’t hinder it. If we don’t create any obstruction, then each man and each woman is bound to become a god. Nobody can prevent them, but we can prevent if we hinder.

So the whole point here is how to become natural, flowing, and to move with the energy, not knowing at all where it is leading you. Trust the energy and go with it. Never trust the mind and always trust your inner energy. The mind is the culprit, the criminal. So all these groups here are just a help to destroy the mind and to help you to have a glimpse of your spontaneity.

Tathata means suchness, spontaneity; that is the first group you have to do. And the second group is Tao; Tao means the ultimate law of life. Once you relax, the ultimate law starts functioning. If you are tense, you hinder its functioning.

Anand means bliss and medha means intelligence. And these two words are going to be very very important for you. The more intelligent you become, the more blissful you become. Or the more blissful you become. the more intelligent you become.

But by intelligence I don’t mean intellect. Intellect is of the head. Intelligence is of your total being.

Intelligence is wisdom, it is not knowledge. Intellect is knowledge, intellect is just a continuous accumulation of information. Intelligence is just the opposite of intellect: intelligence means not to accumulate and not to function from the past, not to function through the accumulated knowledge, but to function out of one’s centre... to function as a response, not as a reaction.

For example somebody asks you, ’What is love?’ You can answer in two ways. One is the answer of the intellect. You have studied, you have read about love; you have heard people talk about love. You may have even experienced something like love in your past so you carry that experience, that imprint, that impression, that memory, and you answer according to your past learning, studies, reading, experience. Then it is from the intellect.

But somebody may ask you, ’What is love?’ and you simply remain in an emptiness, and you don’t allow your past to come in and answer for you. You simply remain in that moment, and you allow the question to penetrate your heart, and a response arises. That response will not only surprise others, it will surprise you also because it will be new for you too.

Whatsoever comes from the intellect is repetitive; you already know it so you are repeating it in a mechanical way. When something comes out of intelligence, it is so new that even for the person from whose centre it is coming, it is a surprise. So just try to be more intelligent and less and less intellectual.

Somebody asks you, ’Is there God?’ You answer according to your conditioning – you have been taught from your childhood that there is a god or there is no god. You repeat the answer that has been put in your mind – then it is intellectual, it has no intelligence in it.

Intellect is very mediocre; in fact stupid. All machines are stupid, they cannot be intelligent – and the mind is a machine. But if you listen to the question, ’Does God exist?’ and you listen to the question as if it has been asked for the first time, you don’t know any answer and you remain silent, then out of that silence comes an answer. Nobody knows what it can be. Even you may be surprised. Or if no answer comes, the intelligent person will say, ’I don’t know.’ The intellectual person will never say, ’I don’t know.’ He will always try to prove that he knows; whether he knows or not, that is not the point.

The intellect is very egoistic. It cannot concede any ignorance. It cannot agree that it does not know. It goes on formulating false answers, pseudo answers. Out of one hundred questions, for ninety percent the intelligent person will say, ’I don’t know,’ and to the remaining ten percent he will respond. But that response will be absolutely new. It will be a virgin response. That’s what the word

’medha’ means. It is one of the most beautiful words.

And ’anand’ means bliss. A person who is intelligent is bound to be blissful. It is our stupidity that creates misery, it is our foolishness that creates pain, it is our foolishness that makes us sad. An intelligent person is never sad. Even if there is a situation where sadness seems to be just natural, even then he will find a way to go beyond it. That’s what intelligence is – an effort to find ways and means to go beyond misery, to go beyond sadness, to go beyond anguish, anxiety, depression.

And this is my feeling – that’s why I am giving you the name – you look a little sad. Your energy seems stuck somewhere. not flowing. So I am giving you this name so it helps to remind you.

So drop all the knowledge that you have been carrying – it is useless, junk; no need to carry any knowledge. While you are here it is better to be childlike and ignorant; then you can learn. Out of ignorance a person can learn – out of knowledge, nobody ever learns. The biggest fools in the world are the people who are knowledgeable.

So just put aside your mind for these six months. If you really want to be with me, and if you really want me to transform your being, an utter transformation is possible. And I am not interested in change – my whole interest is in transformation. Change means that you remain the same –

just a little more polished, a little more decorated; transformation means a break with the past, a discontinuity.

In these six months you can die and be reborn. My effort will be that. If you cooperate with me it will be possible. So just put aside all your knowledge and be here like a small child who knows nothing.

Then tremendous is the possibility of learning.

And the second thing: remember not to get into old ruts of sadness, depression, anxiety. Whenever you feel that something is getting sad, jump out of it. It is just an old habit, so don’t allow it to catch hold of you again and again. Dance, sing, mix with sannyasins. Become more flowing. It will take at least two or three weeks, and in that two or three weeks both things will start happening –

intelligence and bliss.

[A recently-arrived sannyasin says: I’m still hanging on to the idea of going back after six months, but I feel that’s just security. I could stay indefinitely.]

Mm, mm. So just be here for six months and we will see, mm? Six months is a long time. Nobody knows what is going to happen – and it is good that nobody knows, otherwise life would lose all zest and all charm. The next moment is so unknown that there is no possibility of predicting it. That’s why life remains so beautiful.

And it never goes according to you – that is the tremendous, beautiful thing about life. Whatsoever you plan is not going to happen; you can be certain about that. Life has its own ways, and we unnecessarily start struggling with it. When we say man proposes, God disposes, in fact just the reverse is the case – God proposes and man goes on disposing.

Because we cannot hear the still, small voice and we cannot decode the language of God that goes on signalling, we go on making our own plans – and life has its own destiny. Whenever your plan and life’s plan clash, you are going to be defeated – and that’s how it should be; it is perfectly okay.

So whenever by coincidence your plan and life’s plan coincide, then you see that things are happening according to you, but they are never happening according to you. It is only accidental that your plan coincides with life. Sometimes it coincides, sometimes it doesn’t. When it coincides, you start succeeding. When it does not you start failing and being frustrated.

Once you understand that it is always life that succeeds, there is no problem. Then one simply surrenders – that’s what trust is. It is not to trust in some concept, some idea, some god somewhere in heaven – a christian god or a hindu god. It has nothing to do with that. Trust is simply in this life.

And when I say life, I don’t mean life with a capital ’L’ – lower case will do... just the ordinary life.

So just relax with this ordinary life here, and then whatsoever happens is good. Never propose and then God will never dispose. Good.

[At a previous darshan (see ’The Passion For The Impossible’, September 1 st), Osho had advised a couple to work on their relationship. The woman was jealous about the man being with other women. Now they report back to Osho.

The woman says that before her energy was more with her man, now it is moving outside more...

I’m afraid of becoming attracted to other people.]

There is nothing wrong in that – it is better than jealousy. It is better than jealousy, because there is nothing worse than jealousy: it is the worst poison. So do whatsoever you want to do but never be jealous.

And this is one of the feminine tricks: they concentrate on one man, and they concentrate only to be jealous. So when I say to drop jealousy, then there is no point in concentrating on [your man]. The whole point was that you were enjoying the jealousy and the misery that was being created out of it for you and for him; now there is no point. You were in such a great love – you were thinking it was love, that’s why you were feeling jealousy.

What I am trying to show you is that it is not love that feels jealousy. So when you drop jealousy and even love is disappearing... Just see what is happening. You were thinking it is because of love that the jealousy is there, and he was thinking that if the jealousy is dropped, your love will become pure. And see what actually happens – you drop jealousy and love disappears. So your love was just a garb for your jealousy, a trick to be jealous. And that’s why you were not looking at other men, because if you look at other men you cannot torture him. Then you cannot say, ’Why do you look at other women...?’ because you yourself do it. Women play that trick perfectly.

They will never look at any other man so you cannot find fault with them, you cannot find any flaw.

[Your man] cannot say, ’... you look at other people,’ so you can torture him. He is simply in your hands because he sometimes talks with a woman or laughs with a woman. So you can torture him and he feels guilty, you can create much guilt in him.

This trick has been so ancient that it has destroyed much in humanity. If you want to torture a man, you have to be almost a saint; only then can you torture. That’s why saints can torture more than anyone else, because they are so good, you cannot find any fault. Their very goodness creates guilt in you. And women have been very saintly. They pretend to be saintly, but in their saintliness, deep down is a very violent, aggressive attitude.

I wanted you to see it because to see it is to get out of this whole nonsense, is to go beyond all this stupidity. Now when I say to drop your jealousy. the whole point is lost; the game is no more meaningful. Then why go on loving only [your boyfriend]? Start looking elsewhere.

Try to understand what is happening inside you. This way you will never be able to find love. You will get attached to another man and you will start torturing him. Either you will torture a man or you will become driftwood.

This is something – try to understand it: either a woman becomes saintly or she becomes a prostitute... as if there were no middle course. And. as far as I can see, both are two aspects of the same coin. If you love the man, drop jealousy and put your whole energy that is released by it into love; because jealousy is taking so much energy – put that energy into love.

Looking at everybody is not going to give you any depth of being. I’m not saying to cling to [him]. If you feel there is no love, be finished. The sooner you finish, the better; why waste time? But you will repeat the same thing with everybody else. You can go on repeating it your whole life and you will always feel miserable, because unless love happens, unless deep intimacy happens, a man is never content. For a woman particularly, it is impossible to feel happy unless she has a shelter of love, unless she can trust in a man, and unless she can feel that a man trusts in her. A woman is very fragile – she needs somebody to support her, to protect her – a woman is like a flower.

So first I told you to drop your jealousy. Now I tell you the second step – to love him as deeply as possible and not to start fooling around. This is a chance. You have done one thing – half the work is done – you dropped jealousy. Now if you miss, the whole point is lost. Dropping jealousy is not going to help, if with jealousy you have also dropped your love.

So for one month try another thing. This will be a great experiment for your life: now love him without jealousy. And this is not the time to wander around and to become a vagabond. Jealousy is dropped, the energy is there – now pour it into love, and something of a very different quality will arise in you.

So for one month at least simply forget that anybody else exists in the world – only [him]. Pour your love into him and watch, because the moment you start pouring love, jealousy may come again.

That has to be watched – that’s the whole work to be done: love has to be taken beyond jealousy.

The jealousy has to be dropped, discriminated from – love has to be made pure of jealousy.

So you can do both things very easily: either you can love him and be jealous, or you can drop both.

Both are easy and simple. In both ways you will not be growing. What I am insisting on is to drop jealousy and to go on loving. At least for one month give it a try. You will not lose anything by giving it a try and you will gain much.

This is a great chance to grow – love brings the greatest situations for growth. You have done one thing very well – you tried to drop jealousy. But now you are falling into another error. Do you follow me?

[To the man] Help her, mm? Help her, because she has done something beautiful. But it is natural when jealousy is dropped that immediately love starts disappearing. That is one of the dilemmas.

So help her and don’t give her a chance to bring back her jealousy. Don’t give her a chance to look for love with somebody else. For one month at least, give your total love to her. This can be something meaningful, very meaningful for you both.

[The Tao group is present. One group member says: The group was really wonderful. I still feel I’m not flowing as much as I could be, but I’m ready for the next!]

Things are happening, but the mind can always imagine more and can always feel miserable because more could have happened. So drop that ’more’. It is an obsession, because you can never come to a point where you cannot imagine more. Even if God is standing before you, you can always imagine more.

Imagination has no limit – and more is unlimited. So if a person really wants to be happy, he has to drop this constant hankering for more, otherwise he will always find himself miserable. Much will happen, but one will remain miserable because that more will always be there. Imagination is very creative, but it can be very dangerous also. It is a double-edged sword. You can use imagination in a tremendously creative way, and you can use imagination in a destructive way also.

This is a destructive use if you start thinking about more – then whatsoever happens leaves you unsatisfied, discontent, because you are always comparing it with something more. And comparatively you are always a loser – so become a gainer; drop that.

Start thinking that it was possible that even this may not have happened. Less was also possible, and if less had happened, there would have been no way for you to do anything about it – so feel grateful. Whatsoever has happened is exactly as much as was needed. Whatsoever your need is, it will always be fulfilled – more is not needed. If suddenly you come across more, you may go crazy, you may not be able to bear it – it may be too much. So it always happens in the exact proportion in which it is needed.

God goes on giving only that which you need. He may not listen to what you want, but He always listens to what you need. And these are two different things. You may want something that you don’t need – you may not want something that you need. God never bothers about your wants – He simply goes on listening to your needs. And whatsoever you get, you get according to your need –

each according to his need.

It is good that He never listens to your wants, otherwise you would be in constant trouble because you don’t know what you want. And whatsoever you want is almost irrational; it has nothing to do with your happiness.

Somebody wants more money without ever thinking of how money is concerned with contentment.

Somebody wants a bigger house without giving it any thought. If you are miserable, you will be miserable in a bigger house because misery is somewhere inside your psyche; it is in your mind; it has nothing to do with a small or a big house. Maybe in a bigger house you will be more comfortably miserable, but you will remain miserable.

Man goes on wanting things which have no relationship to basic needs, and only when needs are fulfilled does one feel contented. A religious man is one who pays every attention to needs, and by and by disconnects himself from wants. Wants are very complex and unfulfilling. There is no way to fulfill them because their very inner ingredient is in the more. Needs are very simple, fulfillable –

there is no problem about them.

The more is like the horizon. It seems as if it is there just a few miles away and that you can reach it within minutes but you never reach it because it is nowhere; it only appears to be there. If you go towards the horizon, the horizon goes on receding. The difference, the distance between you and the horizon remains always the same... it is constant. And the same is the case with more. The distance between you and more always remains constant; it is one of the constant things in life. So drop that ’more’, mm?

But something has happened... something beautiful has happened. If you had dropped the idea of more, you would have enjoyed it and you would have felt more grateful. But good, mm?

[Another group member says: Things happened.]

That’s good. Things always happen. One should only search for them. They are just by the corner, not very far away.

Have you read one of Kafka’s parables? – a very beautiful parable.

A doorkeeper stands on guard before the temple of the Law. To this doorkeeper there comes a man who begs for admittance to the Law, but the doorkeeper says that he cannot admit the man at the moment.

The man, on reflection, asks if he will be allowed then to enter later.

’It is possible,’ answers the doorkeeper, ’but not at this moment.’

Since the door stands open as usual, the man bends down to peer through the entrance.

The doorkeeper laughs and says, ’If you are so strongly tempted, try to get in without my permission.

But note that I am powerful and I am only the lowest doorkeeper. From hall to hall, keepers stand at every door, each one more powerful than the other. Even the third of these has an aspect that even I cannot bear to look at.’

The man is given a stool and permitted to sit down at the side of the door, and there he sits for many years. Again and again he tries to get permission, or to get at least a definitive answer, but he is always told that he cannot enter yet.

At long last his life is drawing to a close. Before he dies, all that he has experienced during the whole time of his sojourn condenses in his mind into one question which he has never put to the doorkeeper. He beckons the doorkeeper.

’What do you want to know now?’ asks the doorkeeper. ’You are insatiable.’

’Everybody strives to attain the Law,’ answers the man. ’How does it come about then, that in all these years no one has come seeking admittance but me?’

The doorkeeper perceives that the man is at the end of his strength and his hearing is failing, so he bellows in his ear: ’No one but you could gain admittance through this door since this door was intended only for you. I am now going to shut it.’

The man dies... but a beautiful parable. He was always sitting there by the side and the gate was open but he never tried. Even the gatekeeper had been provoking him saying, ’You can go... try!

Although I am powerful, try!’ But he said, ’No, I will wait. Whenever the time comes....’ But then the time comes never. Jesus says, ’Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. Ask and it shall be given. Seek and ye shall find.’ It is just around the corner but we go on waiting as if somebody is going to give it to us. Nobody is there to give it to you – and the door is open ! If you try, the doorkeeper is not going to prevent you. In fact he is there just waiting for you to enter so he can close the door. But he does not invite you because then it will be too cheap. So he gives a challenge, a provocation.

This sannyas is nothing but a provocation, a challenge, so that I can goad you and tell you, ’Don’t go on sitting on the stool – the gate is open!’

[A group member says: Two things came up. One was how much horror, how much hate and how much self-hatred I have in the way that I relate to men. And also that this part of my body (her thighs) is pretty dead. I feel a lot of energy in the top but in this part it doesn’t seem to be moving. I don ’t know if they are connected.]

They are connected. If you hate men the lower part of the body will feel dead because the lower part is associated with sex. If you hate men, you hate them because of sex. You hate sex. If a man hates women, his lower body will be dead because the lower body is the sexual part. So the higher body is okay, because you feel that the higher is beyond sex: it is neither man nor woman. Above the sex centre you are neither man nor woman. Below the sex centre you are man or woman. There is the division. If you hate men, you will suffer in your lower body. In your old age it can become a trouble, so drop that hatred.

Once you start loving men, this problem will immediately disappear with no trace. It has nothing to do with your body. It is a division in your mind of the lower and the higher. The lower is sexual, the higher is spiritual, and you need to join them together – you have to become a unity.

But good that you came to understand it, that it surfaced. that it came to your consciousness. Now something can be done. Even this coming to consciousness will do much.

[She asks: I was wondering if just being aware of it will change it. I’ve been aware of it so much for a long time. And I see it connected very much with a whole trip with my father. It seems very deep.]

No, no. Watching is good but will not be enough, because in watching also you may be carrying a sort of antagonistic repression. In watching also you may be forcing it. Your watching may be violent.

Watch – it is good – but the best remedy will be to start making friends with men, and start loving people, otherwise the problem will be there. Settle it soon because once the body becomes older, even if you settle this, the body may not listen. Right now there is no problem. Right now you are young and there is no problem. But if the body has lived with this division for long and becomes old, then even if you start loving men, it won’t be of much help. Come out of your hatred.

[She then says: I don’t feel that I have no male friends or that it’s that heavy – it seems more subtle.

It’s just a certain tone to the way I relate.]

Yes, that too will go... that too will go. Just start relating, and whenever you feel that there is a certain tone, then watch – but go on relating. Otherwise you will not feel that there is any problem.

If you relate, the problem will be coming again and again into consciousness and then you can go on watching.

And it is for you to decide. If you want to drop it, nobody is going to hinder you: it is your responsibility.

If you want to settle it, you can settle it right now. This very moment it can be settled, but it is totally your responsibility. If you understand that this is the problem, then drop it – just as when you know that fire burns you don’t put your hand in the fire.

Love makes one whole. There is nothing like love. It is the greatest therapy. So love people. Just move more and more in deeper relationships.

In the next group, just forget that the men are men. Nobody is a man, nobody is a woman. All are just energies. Let the energies mix and meet and mingle, mm? Nothing to be worried about. It will go.

[A group member says: All the groups I did in the West – I felt all the time that it was an effort, hard work. But in this group I could just be more and more. I really enjoyed it.]

These groups are different because the whole energy is different. In the West when people are doing groups, the people come from different directions, with different minds, with different energy.

It is a crowd. It is a very neurotic situation.

When you are doing a group here, all are sannyasins, part of my family; a subtle harmony exists.

And all are seekers moving in one direction – that gives a rhythm. It may not be visible on the surface but deep underground, it becomes a totally different kind of foundation; then things become very easy.

Then there is a certain devotion – you are all devoted to me. That functions as a centre. It becomes the soul of the group. When you do a group in the West, there is no soul to it; it is fragmentary.

Techniques are there but the soul is missing. So you can go on doing techniques – they will help to a certain extent – but they cannot be very fulfilling. But they are doing good work because whomsoever is working in the groups in the West is by and by moving towards me – knowingly, unknowingly.

He has to come because those groups will leave him hanging in the middle. They will bring him into a state of limbo. Then he would like to somehow complete it, because everything incomplete becomes a burden.

So sannyas is going to become a completion for millions of people, and particularly those who are in any way concerned with new growth groups; they are bound to come to me.

CHAPTER 12

30 September 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine and naveen means new. The divine is never old, and that which is old is never divine. The divine is eternally new – it is divine because of its eternal newness.

So the whole effort, the whole purpose of sannyas, is to make you unconditionally new. It is not something that happens once and forever – it is something that is going to happen every moment of your life. Each moment you have to drop the yesterday, each moment you have to drop the past.

The tendency of the mind is to accumulate it, to thrive on it, to become stronger on it – the past, all the yesterdays.

So the moment the moment has passed, let it pass completely; then there is no meaning in clinging to it – you cannot relive it, you cannot go into it again. Now to have it inside you is to have junk –

which is useless, which cannot be used in any way. But it will occupy your inner space, and if there are too many yesterdays – and there are – they go on piling up. Every day is going to become a yesterday, and when you go on piling up yesterdays, you become old. To be old is to be in the world; and to be continuously fresh, is to go beyond the world – it is to be in God.

So every day clean the slate completely of the past. Forgive and forget. Remember it as if it had never happened – or at the most that it happened in a dream, and now there is no need to worry about it, to chew it again and again. There is no point of going into it. Then you become available to the present. That availability is sannyas – to remain available to the present, to remain available to the here and now.

Remember one thing about time: life is multi-dimensional and time is one dimensional. Right now as you are listening to me, you are also listening to somebody shouting... the train passing by far away... the sound of the night... the presence of the people around. It is not in your focus. I am in your focus, but they are present.

This moment is multi-dimensional. Many things are happening together simultaneously. But the mind functions in a linear way, in a line. If you remember this moment tomorrow, you will not be able to remember the simultaneousness of it. You will have to arrange everything in a line: you were hearing me, then there was a man shouting outside, then the train passed by, then somebody coughed, then this happened, then that happened. Now you arrange it in a line like a railway train

– but when it was really happening, it was simultaneous. It was not then and then and then; it was always now. There was no before and no after – everything was going on together.

Existence is a togetherness, but when the mind thinks about it, it makes a linear arrangement.

That linear arrangement is the problem. That makes you old because that makes you unavailable to the simultaneous, unavailable to existence itself. Thinking is one-dimensional, the mind is one-dimensional, time is one-dimensional, space is multi-dimensional. To be in time is to be in the mind, and to just be in space is to be in meditation.

So constantly reclaim your space, and don’t allow it to be occupied by time and its junk. From this moment, die every moment to the past and be reborn again and again and again. Once you are no more concerned with the past, you are no more concerned with the future, because the future is just a projection of the past. It is the past again seeking its way into your being. Past pleasures want to be repeated – that becomes your future. Past pains you don’t want to repeat – that becomes your fear in the future. Your greed, your fear, your anger – they all come from the past. If you drop yesterday, tomorrow also disappears. It disappears automatically. Then you are suddenly here.

Then this moment is all.

The whole eternity is available herenow. That is my meaning of sannyas. And I give you this name

– deva naveen; divine newness – so that you can remember it.

Ira means the earth and prem means love – the loving earth. And the feminine being is exactly like the loving earth. The earth is the symbol of the feminine in the East. The sky is the symbol of the male, the masculine, and the earth, the symbol of the feminine.

The earth has many qualities: all that is beautiful arises out of it, all that is alive arises out of it; all life comes out of its womb. The woman has tremendous possibilities to flower – to flower in many dimensions. So remember this: the earth can remain barren if the opportunity is not used. It can become a beautiful garden if the opportunity is used. Sannyas is going to be just a seed. Be the earth and let the seed go as deep in you as possible. Allow it into your innermost heart. Don’t resist.

This is one of the problems that every sannyasin has to face. The mind tends to resist, to fight.

Even with me the mind will fight. But those days are wasted days, and one thing is certain – you cannot win against me. So the wise person simply surrenders – he does not bother to fight. Then immediately things start happening.

And for a woman it is very easy to surrender because that comes naturally to her. Fight is unnatural, struggle is unnatural; will is unnatural for a woman.

So just allow these seeds that will now be constantly falling on you. Absorb them, and allow them access to your deepest core of being. The deeper they go, the better will be the crop.

And whenever you go outside, whenever you have the opportunity, lie down on the earth, on the bank of the river... just lie down on the earth and feel one with it. That will give you much energy, fresh energy. Just sit silently on the earth and feel joined with it – as if you have roots, and those roots are going into the earth and the earth is vitalising you, nourishing you.

Man also has roots; they are invisible. Man is also like a tree. The tree has visible roots. Man is a moving tree, but he has roots in the earth. So whenever you find time, just lie down, look at the sky, and let there be a meeting between the sky and the earth deep inside you, and you will feel tremendously happy in those moments. Many problems that you have always been carrying with you will simply disappear. Just let the sky and the earth meet in you, and ecstasy will arise out of it.

While you are here do a few groups, mm? so you can destructure your past, so you can uncondition your past. These groups are like a dehypnosis, so the past can be cleaned. And once the past is cleaned, there is nothing to be done. Then everything happens on its own accord, because you fall in accord with nature.

The only thing is to dismantle the past, and the past is big. It is not only of this life – it is of many lives. It is a great concrete structure. Once it is demolished, everything becomes easy. If it is not demolished. it goes on influencing you. And if the past goes on working, you remain a machine.

Man is a machine if he functions through the past.

Ordinarily if you meet ten thousand people, nine hundred and ninety-nine people are machines.

They may know, they may not know; they may even feel offended if you say this to them. But this is one of my purposes – to offend people – because if they are offended, they start getting out of their sleep. But people function like machines.

Sannyas is an effort to make you, for the first time, conscious of your life, conscious of the mechanism that surrounds you. Then there is a possibility that the mechanism can be used, but then you become the master. And then the second possibility is that one day there is a hope that you can function beyond the structure. Those are the moments of meditation when the consciousness functions without mind.

That is the definition of meditation – consciousness functioning without the mind, consciousness moving, dancing, without any structure, unstructured.

So these groups are just to help you to unstructure the past.

[A sannyasin says: I was a potter and teaching pottery... I’m fed up with it.]

No, the interest will come back. Just be here. The work is really beautiful; it is no ordinary work.

It can become a very great method for centring. In the East we have used it as a deep meditative light.

[See ’The Passion For The Impossible’, September 3rd, 1976, where Osho talks about pottery to another disillusioned potter.]

But it’s okay. We get fed up with everything. Everything proves to be boring because we never function out of our centre. Even love becomes boring, so what to say about other things? Even life itself becomes boring because we don’t know how to function from our inner space. We only go on functioning through motivation. One has to earn, one has to be famous, one has to compete – one has to do this and that. We remain part of the market, that’s why we become bored. We never do things out of no motivation. And this is the real way to do things – with no motivation... out of sheer joy, out of sheer love. But I will teach you. I am going to make you a potter. Just wait.

Right now forget about it. Do a few groups, meditate.... Because I love it, and it can be of tremendous value for inner growth. But you must have been doing it in some wrong way. It is not the work itself you are bored with – it is the motivation that was wrong, that made you tense. But all motivations make people tense – unless you learn how to live without motivation, how to simply live without motive. That’s what sannyas should be, because all motivation is creating trouble.

One should function just like trees, animals, or God. One should do things because one loves, because one cares. One should not do things out of economic, political reasons. One should do things out of aesthetic sensibility. It is a form of art, it is like painting or music. It is to create rhythm in things – playing with the earth and creating form out of formlessness... creating something out of nothing really.

And if you know how to meditate with it, outside, on the wheel, the pot starts arising – simultaneously inside your being something else starts arising. You can become deeply connected in that moment.

Time can stop. You can move into eternity in that moment. It can be tremendously absorbing.

But wait. For a few days completely forget about it. You need a rest. You really need to be reborn –

but that is going to happen.

[A sannyasin says: I feel very good being here with you. I feel that before I had never experienced deep love. Now I feel energy moving.]

Very good. You are just on the brink. Any moment you can disappear.

Be ready to disappear – then only is love complete, total, absolute. Then you are lost in it. If you hold a little, if you remain a little, then love is never complete. And without love being total, one is never satisfied. Blessing is in the totality of love.

Much is going to happen....

[An ethiopian sannyasin says: I sent my brother a book, ’The Way Of The White Clouds’ and other books. He read them and liked them very much. He asked me what is meditation, and I don’t know what to tell him.]

So you can send him a tape of the Dynamic meditation – of the whole process of people doing it.

And tell him that there is no way to say what meditation is. There is only one way to know about it and that is to do it.

It is impossible to say what meditation is – it is a taste – and whatsoever we say is going to only be symbolic. How can you say what sweetness is? The only way is to present sweets to the person who wants to know what sweetness is. If he is willing to eat them, he will know. If he says that first he must know, only then can he eat them, there is no way. Then you can talk ad infinitum about what sweetness is, but it is just going to be futile. It will be just words and words and words – and all dead. Only experience is alive – language is always dead.

Once you put a truth into language it becomes a lie. The moment you utter a truth, it has become a lie. You have betrayed it.

All scriptures are lies. Because the truth has been given words, they have become lies. Only the experience is true. And God is not a word; the word ’god’ is not God. If you become too attached to the word ’god’, that will become the greatest barrier towards Him. One has to forget all scriptures, all concepts, all philosophies, all belief systems, to know what is. That which is has to be known immediately and directly. It is existential.

So tell him about meditation but tell him that this is not meditation. It is just like a photograph. You can have a beautiful photograph of the sunrise and you can present that photograph to a person who has never seen any sunrise. You can have a beautiful photograph of the Himalayas, and a person who has never known those peaks and that virgin ice on the peaks, will not be able to understand what it is all about. He will have a picture but it will be a dead thing.

So tell him that you are saying something about meditation but it is not meditation. It is just like a map of a country; it is not the country. And send him a tape so that he can listen to it. Tell him to do it, and for three weeks not to bother whether anything is happening or not – just to go on doing.

Within three weeks he will have a taste of it and then he will know. This is the only way.

This ashram is just a device, nothing else. I am not interested in creating a monastery or an ashram.

This is just a device so that people can be here with me and learn how to love and surrender... how to transform small things into great... how to transform cleaning into prayer or cooking into worship, or typing or editing or guarding or gardening into holy experiences.

[There follows a description of ’a day in the life’ of the ashram]

CHAPTER 13

1 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A visiting journalist asked Osho if he could suggest a meditation technique or some hypnosis that would help a person who was conditioned against success, who would do everything to thwart any likelihood of succeeding.

Osho asked him if he had ever meditated, to which he replied that he was a Freemason and was currently involved in writing a treatise on a system of meditations for the organisation to which he belonged. He said he had not done any groups but had read a lot of psychology and philosophy.]

Groups will be helpful... they will be very helpful to you. Right now, as I see in you, you cannot start meditation. There is a gap, and that gap has first to be travelled through cathartic methods –

Encounter, Gestalt, Bio-energetics, or things like that. Once you have released your burden, once you have poured out your unconscious content, once you have become aware of your past, then meditation will be possible very easily.

[The visitor says: You mean aware as against...? As experience rather than as a memory? I recognise my past. I recognise what’s happened and why it’s happened and how it’s happened.]

No, it is not a question of how and why and what. That is all a mind trip. You can analyse why it happened; that is not the point. It has to be relived, actually relived again. That will erase it. How and why are not going to help. You have to go back – not in memory, not as a remembrance – but as a reliving.

So if you are going to be here for a few days. do a few groups.

... Primal will be very very good. At your age it can be of tremendous value, because the older you become, the more it is needed to go back to the very source. If you can connect yourself back to your childhood, the circle becomes complete.

... you can start again afresh – and that will be something of tremendous significance.

So Primal therapy is one that I would suggest. and before Primal, to prepare you, there are two groups, Tathata and Tao. They are small groups: Tathata is a two-day group and Tao is a five-day group. Primal is thirteen, fourteen days. So if you can come for one month, much can be done.

And I would like you to really go into it. Mentally you know many things, but that scholarship is of no use. You can write a thesis but it is not going to help you existentially. And that is the problem with all people who are very intellectual – they think too much and by and by they completely forget what real life is. Thinking is not life. They become completely cut off – from their emotions. from their heart, from their intuition. They become more and more of the head. They become very very systematic, logical, rational. They can philosophise well, their syllogism becomes more and more perfect, but it is just syllogism. Syllogism is not life. They become aristotelean, and the mystery of life is missed.

So come and be here for a few days. And when you are here, put your mind aside. Give me at least one month’s chance to work. And don’t you interfere – just do what I say. and let things happen.

After one month you will have a new vision, a breakthrough. Then you can use all that is in your head, but then it will be used from a totally different centre. Then you will not be possessed by the head.

You will be the master and the head becomes just a servant. You can use all the information you have gathered; and then your thesis will be not only of a scholar, it can have something deeper in it between the lines. It can have something of the poetry of real life. It can have something which can come only out of experience.

I can assist you. I cannot promise help, because help makes people dependent. I can only assist you. You have to go, you have to do. I can only assist you – and that too if you accept it, if you cooperate. So I cannot promise help. And I make a distinction between assistance and help. Help means that you are dependent on me. Assistance simply means that you are independent. I can show you the way; you have to walk. I can show you how to do it, but you have to do it. I am not going to do it for you.

So help is not possible – only assistance. And that too, only to the extent that you allow me. That too depends on your choice and your freedom. I never interfere in anybody’s freedom, because religion is basically a search for freedom. If a bondage is created out of religion, the whole purpose is lost.

Then you have betrayed the whole search.

[To one of the ashram’s resident editors]

... I received your letter.

First I would like to tell you a zen story. Listen to it as attentively as possible, because this is no ordinary story. It is very ordinary, but if you listen to it very attentively you can bring extraordinary meaning to it.

There was a monk, Banzan, who had been meditating under his master’s guidance for many years but nothing was happening. He was on the verge of exploding but nothing had happened and nothing was happening. He was feeling that it was just there, but there was no way to catch hold of it.

One day he was passing from the market-place and he walked by the butcher’s shop. He overheard a dialogue, a very ordinary dialogue – but it triggered off something in Banzan. It became of tremendous value to him. It became his first satori.

A customer was saying to the butcher, ’Give me the best piece of meat that you have got in your shop.’ The butcher started laughing, and the laughter was very penetrating. He said, ’It is impossible.

You ask for the impossible. I cannot do it because all the pieces in my shop are the best. I never sell anything less than the best. Every piece is the best!’

Banzan heard it just from the street, and it is said that he became enlightened. Now what happened?

The last straw... and the camel collapsed.

... Try to understand the whole point of it. Whatsoever happened to Banzan is not related to the incident as a cause is related to an effect. Not that way – because many people were passing. Many others may have overheard the dialogue, and nothing happened to them. Nothing happened to the customer. Nothing even happened to the shopkeeper, to the butcher. So whatsoever happened to Banzan is not related to the incident as a cause is related to the effect, or the effect is related to the cause. It is not causal; it is acausal... what Jung calls ’synchronisity’. It triggered something, but it is not a necessary outcome of it.

Something was already going on inside Banzan. He was already ready for it, but he was not aware.

When it happened, only then he came to know that it was just ready to explode. Just a little more weight and the camel would collapse: it functioned as a catalytic agent.

So nobody knows when things are going to happen. One becomes very miserable because nothing is happening. Banzan was also miserable. You are miserable because nothing is happening, and I can understand – I can understand your misery. But this is the way things happen, and nobody can predict where and when, overhearing what or what not, the explosion will be triggered. It cannot be predicted, so one has to learn patience.

And the second thing.... You have been again and again writing to me that you would like to commit suicide, that the idea comes again and again. So a few things about it.

Firstly, there is no necessity for you to live. You don’t have to live (She laughs). Right?! And you are not obliging anybody by living. That has to be made absolutely clear: the world is not obliged to you, so if you want to commit suicide, it’s okay – commit suicide!

I can assist you. I cannot help you (a chuckle). I can assist you. There is nothing wrong in it. Maybe there are legal difficulties, but that is for those who will remain afterwards – you will be gone. I don’t see that there is any moral or spiritual problem. Legal problems are there but that is none of your business. If you want to commit, commit.

This idea of committing suicide is part of another idea that you have to live... as if the world will not live without She, as if everything will go topsy-turvy without you. This is foolish, this is nonsense.

Once you drop that idea, the idea of suicide will automatically disappear, because it is your life; you are not obliging anybody. If you enjoy, you enjoy. If you don’t enjoy you simply return the ticket. You simply get out of the train. You say that you are not going.

So nothing is wrong in the idea of suicide itself, but playing with the idea is bad. Either commit suicide or stop playing with the idea, because that is dangerous. Do something! If you want to commit suicide, commit. Why make a fuss about it? But don’t play with the idea. That playing with the idea is very poisonous. It won’t allow you to live, it won’t allow you to die – and that limbo is bad.

That hanging in between the two is bad.

Either live or die, but whatsoever you do, do wholeheartedly. I’m not suggesting to you that you die.

I’m not ordering that you go and commit suicide. I’m simply saying that whatsoever you want to do, I give you space. Even if it is suicide, I’m not going to interfere, because that is one of the basic attitudes I live with – that one should not interfere.

My mother used to say to me in my childhood.... I would be playing close to the fire, and ordinarily mothers would say, ’Don’t touch that! Don’t go close to the fire!’ But she would say, ’You touch and you will be burned.’ She never said to me, ’Don’t touch the fire. Don’t go there.’ ’... You can touch, but you will be burned.’ Now this is complete freedom. She is not saying not to touch, she is not ordering me. She is simply saying that if you touch you will be burned – if you want to touch, touch.

That’s what I mean when I say that if you want to commit suicide, commit: I simply give you space to be whatsoever you intend to be. If you want to live, my space is available. If you want to die, okay

– my space is available.

This should be understood perfectly by all the sannyasins – that I am not forcing anybody to do anything whatsoever. It is your choice – it is your life, it is your death. Who am I? I have no ’shoulds’

– not even against death, not even against suicide. I will not say it is bad – nothing is bad. If you feel good, that’s good for you. But my understanding is that it is not really a desire to die.

You want to live, and you want to live terrifically. And because that is not happening, the idea arises.

You are too much in love with life; that’s why the idea arises. You want miracles to happen in life; that’s why the idea arises. They are not happening, so commit suicide.

A man who is really fed up with life will not even think about committing suicide. Who bothers? Even life is not worthwhile, then why death ? One who is completely finished with life is finished with death also.

It is a clinging to life. You have too many expectations about what should happen and what should not happen; how things should be and how you should be; how people should love you and how you should love people. You have many ’shoulds’ on your head. They are crippling you, and because they are not going to happen.... And they are not going to happen ! ’Shoulds’ are never fulfilled.

Then the reverse idea arises – ’Then why not commit suicide when nothing is happening?’ And you cannot commit suicide either because the fear will always remain – maybe it was going to happen tomorrow and I am committing suicide today! Wait for tomorrow – maybe it is going to happen.’

You cannot commit suicide and you cannot live. And this is your trouble. I would like you to become completely clear about it. A clarity, a transparency is needed. Life is very ordinary and if you expect great things to happen, you will be miserable. I’m not saying that great things don’t happen. I’m saying that if you expect great things you will be miserable. Great things happen, but they happen only to people who live an ordinary life.

This is the paradox: those who live an ordinary life and don’t expect great things, mm? – when they feel hungry, they eat, and when they feel tired, they sleep; when they feel hot they sit under the shower, and when they feel like talking they talk to people and gossip; when they don’t want to talk they simply sit and meditate – these are the people to whom miracles happen, because to such ordinary people anxiety is not possible, anguish is not possible, frustration is not possible. So all the barriers disappear and suddenly the whole sky is open, because the barriers are no more there.

The sun shines clear... the whole sky is available.

These barriers – that great things should happen and you should become enlightened and all sorts of nonsense – come in the way and don’t allow you to see that which is already there. The miracle has already happened! It is not in the future. It is just happening this moment. It is the nature of life to be miraculous, to be fabulous, to be fantastic – but for that one has to be very ordinary.

So just start living a very ordinary life without any expectations. Just enjoy small things – and when you start enjoying small things, they become sacred. One person can eat in such an innocent way that it becomes a sacrament. One can take one’s bath in such a beautiful way, in such a worshipful way, that it becomes a prayer. It is the quality that you bring to it that is important – not the act in itself. You can go in a church and you can do prayer, and it may not be holy at all. It may be just a mechanical repetition, a gramophone record.

So just start living ordinarily. You have many great expectations – that you should become a great lover, and a great lover should come to you. That is creating trouble in your mind so you are never at ease. And there are great lovers, but you are not at ease so you cannot look at them. You are waiting for great lovers so you cannot see them. They are already there! They may be living right in your room.

Always remember, life is great. That’s what I mean when I say to live in an ordinary way. Then the extraordinary starts happening to you.

But I’m not preventing you from suicide. I can only say this much – you can commit suicide if you like, but you will be missing a great opportunity that was just close by. And I cannot promise you that in your next life I will be there to see you or to meet you – that’s not possible. So it is for you to choose.

And what are you going to gain out of suicide? Why this constant thinking about it? You will be born into another womb and will again start the same cycle.

[She replies: I was thinking about a vacation!]

There is no vacation, that’s the trouble. There is no vacation. Here you die and people may not even reach to the burning ground and you will be reborn. There is no vacation.

So use this opportunity. Much is possible. This has always been so – people never realised what was possible when Buddha was there, and when he was gone they started repenting and crying and weeping. You don’t realise what is possible while I am here. You talk about committing suicide.

When I am gone you can commit suicide!

It is always so – that people never realise when the opportunity is knocking on the door. They talk nonsense. Still. you are free, mm? but don’t talk about suicide. Next time you want to commit, commit suicide. No use thinking about it. That thinking is a luxury. Do something. Either live or die, but do something! Good.

CHAPTER 14

2 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine and prasadam means a gift, a divine gift.And one should learn to treat one’s life as a divine gift. It is of immense value and one should not waste it. Because it has been given free we should not waste it. It has been given free because it is beyond value – but ordinarily people think it is valueless, as if there is no value to it. It is beyond value. It transcends value.

So each moment has to be transformed into a great offering to God. As He has given life to you, you have to respond. That response is prayer. When you start understanding that this life is so valuable, and that God has shown so much love by giving life to you, by breathing life into you, you start responding towards His love. That response is prayer. It always comes when one feels that one is a gift... that God has been a great benediction.

So just feel that you are immensely valuable. When I say immensely valuable, I don’t mean that you have to be comparative. You are not more valuable than others. Everyone is immensely valuable; there is no comparison. When I say immensely valuable, I don’t use the word in a relative way, I don’t say that you are more valuable than others. Nobody is more or less. All are valuable, and all are uniquely valuable. So just try to understand your intrinsic value and start responding towards God. It is already late, and it should not be delayed any more. So feel grateful, feel prayerful.

[A sannyasin says: I feel that I’m softening up now after the West. It was hard there.]

The West is difficult because there you are as if a fish is out of the sea. Here you are in the sea and there you are out of the sea, so it is hard, but that too is a good experience. The fish becomes strong; if it can survive, it becomes very strong. Here meditation comes easier, love comes easier.

You are living in a community where communication is very simple. You can say things which you can say nowhere else. You can do things which you can do nowhere else. You can be. That’s what we are trying to do here – to give space to everybody to be.

Sannyas is a space, a freedom – it has no discipline. It is just a space so that everybody can be whatsoever he wants to be. It will not be so easy in the world because the world does not allow you to be yourself: it has its own criterion of how one should be. We have no ’should’ here. And I accept you totally, unconditionally, as you are.

It is difficult in the West, but sometimes it is good to go and face the difficulty. It gives you a backbone.

[The sannyasin answers: I was teaching there, and I felt that I was brainwashed. I couldn’t teach because I felt at the same level or lower than the children.]

That’s right... that’s exactly how it is. People who are thought to be adults are lower than the children.

That’s the misery of the world: they should be higher but they are not. After childhood people go on falling down, not growing up – they grow down, they become more aged. They become more experienced, but they become less innocent, and that is a fall from grace. Once you understand it, children will be just the purest possibilities on the earth... closer to God than anything – than any priest, than any bishop, than any pope. They are closer to God because they are still innocent, uncorrupted.

To be with children is very meditative, it makes you humble – that’s what has happened to you. It makes you humble, and if you are really understanding, you can learn more from them than you can teach. And what you learn from them is more valuable than you can teach to them.

What can a teacher teach? Algebra, geometry, arithmetic, the three r’s – which are really not of much value. They are utilitarian but have nothing of the eternal in them. But a child can teach you the way to go to God, the child can put you God-ward – he can help you to become a child again.

You can be reborn – and the second childhood is the real growth.

When you are reborn, you are higher than the child, because the child is innocent but unaware. The second childhood makes you aware and innocent; there you go higher. And that should be the hope for every human being – to become again like children and yet to retain awareness, because that which is unaware has to be lost one day.

Every child is bound to be corrupted, every Adam and Eve is bound to be expelled from the garden of Eden. It is natural, the fall is natural, because the child is unconscious. He does not know what precious innocence he has – and when you don’t know your own treasures, you are going to be robbed. Any snake, any devil, will rob and corrupt you. Innocence is corruptible, vulnerable, unless it is protected by awareness.

Now these are the two ways: either you become cunning – then nobody can rob you – or you become aware; then too, nobody can rob you. Out of one hundred people, ninety-nine have chosen the path of cunningness. They have been robbed – their childhood innocence is gone. Now they have become afraid that this world is very cunning so one should be cunning with it. They become cunning, but by being cunning they go on falling more and more and more.

Childhood is lost but there is no need to be cunning – one has just to be aware. That is the path of religion. To be cunning is the way of the world, and to be aware is the path of religion.

Remain innocent and just be aware, then nobody can corrupt you. Then innocence is incorruptible.

For the first time it is really there and it cannot be lost, it cannot be destroyed. It has become a crystallisation in you.

Deva means divine and swabhava means nature, divine nature. Always try one thing whenever you have time: just close your eyes and look into your own nature, into who you are. Just make this question your mantra, ’Who am I?’ Don’t try to answer it... don’t make any intellectual answer – that I am this or that. Simply ask, ’Who am I?’ and wait in silence. Again ask, ’Who am I?’ and wait in silence. Just the question – no need for the answer – and by and by the question will dissolve.

The answer will be there, but with no verbalisation. The answer will be there – not in your mind but in your being. You will feel pregnant with the answer. It will be throbbing there in the deepest core of your being. So the questioning is just to dig deep inside. It has to function as an arrow. So whenever you have time, sitting on your bed doing nothing, just close your eyes and ask the question, and look into your own being. That’s what swabhava is – that’s your nature – and once you start coming in contact with it, it will transform you. It will not only change you – it will transform you.

Change is mediocre – you remain the same, a little change here and there. Transformation is needed

– nothing less is going to help. Total transformation is needed: a one hundred and eighty degree turn. So now this is your meditation... your name is your meditation.

[A sannyasin says: Sometimes when I look at your picture, or sometimes when I close my eyes and sit there and meditate, there is that feeling of being pulled, and there’s a lot of fear at the same time.

He says the pull is from his eyes and chest.]

Come here and just look at my hands. (Osho was leaning forward in his chair, and had clenched up the fist of his right hand.) Feel as if you are a fist, completely closed. Really become closed.

When I start opening my fist, you start opening like a flower. First just feel that you are a fist and everything is closed.

[The sannyasin staring intensely at Osho’s fist, began to become more and more tense, his body beginning to shake and beads of perspiration to gather on his face. As Osho slowly and gracefully unfolded his fist, he began to relax until he slumped prostrate on the floor before Osho.]

Good... good. This you have to do. Whenever you feel this energy, first close yourself – that will put pressure on the energy. Close from everywhere, close up the energy. The energy is in the navel, so let the navel be the centre and close up so that the energy cannot escape and there is no outlet.

Then remain in that closedness just for one, two, three minutes at the most, and then start opening.

There will be a burst of energy because the pressure will be released. The energy will rush towards your third eye, and once it reaches there, all fear will disappear.

So the energy has to be made like a fountain. First it has to be pressed, so that when the pressure is removed, it simply rushes forth. You can do this twice, thrice a day, and you will start enjoying it. When it starts reaching to the third eye, you will start having a sort of inner orgasm. And it is so pleasant... it is such a blessing.

Everything is good. There is nothing to be worried about.

[A sannyasin says: : I feel better every day now.]

That’s very good. That’s going to happen more and more – and there is no end to it. Very good.

Just go on enjoying it. The fear is that of happiness, so when it really comes... First you seek and you think too much about it, you dream about it, but when it really starts coming, one becomes apprehensive.

For the whole of your life you have been going only so far in everything. If you were angry, you went so far. If you were sad, you went so far. If you were happy, you went so far. There is a subtle line beyond which you have never gone. Everything goes there and stops. It has become almost automatic, so that the moment you reach that line, you are immediately put off. Everybody has been taught that way – that you are allowed a certain anger but not more than that, because more than that can be dangerous. You are allowed a certain happiness, but not more than that because happiness can be maddening. You are allowed sadness only up to a point, but not more than that, because more than that can be suicidal.

You have been trained and there is a china wall around you and everybody else. You never go beyond it. That is your only space, your only freedom, so when you start becoming happy, joyous, that china wall comes in the way. So you have to be aware of that.

Start doing one experiment that will help tremendously. It is called the method of exaggeration. It is one of the most ancient tibetan methods of meditation. If you are feeling sad, close your eyes and exaggerate sadness. Go into it as much as possible, go beyond the limit. If you want to moan and sob and weep, do. If you feel like rolling on the floor, do, but go beyond the ordinary limit, where you have never gone.

Exaggerate it, because that limit, that constant boundary that you have lived in, has become so much of a routine that unless you go beyond it, you will never be aware – it is part of your habitual mind. So you can become angry but you will not become aware of it unless you go beyond the boundary. Then suddenly it comes into your awareness because something is happening that has never happened before.

So do this with sadness, with anger, with jealousy, with whatsoever you are feeling at the moment –

with happiness particularly. When you are feeling happy, don’t believe in limits. Just go and rush out of the limits: dance, sing, jog – don’t be a miser. Once you have learned how to trespass the limit, how to transcend the limit, you will be in a totally different world. Then you will know how much you have been missing your whole life.

Try it. Close your eyes and be happy.

[The sannyasin closed his eyes and began to laugh, after a few moments falling backwards into the lap of a sannyasin. Slowly sitting upright again, he began to raise his arms slowly, a beatific smile on his face. Osho called him back... ]

Good... very good! Things are really going well. You were just knocked down by the china wall.

You will come against that china wall many times but by and by you will start knowing how to get out of it – because it is really not there; it is just a belief.

[Osho described the phenomenon of the magic circle of the gipsies and primitive tribes of the Middle East, whereby once a child has been told that he cannot leave a certain space, he finds he simply cannot do so, so strongly is the belief imbedded.]

Gurdjieff learned his first hypnotic method from the Kurds – these people.

They are really

tremendously hypnotic and they have worked for centuries in hypnosis. This is an hypnotic method.

And the china wall is the same kind of thing.

In fact it is not there, but you have believed it for so long, so whenever you go, you will be knocked down, back inside – you cannot go beyond it; it has become an automatic mechanism. You simply go so far and you are put off. Your energy simply disappears; you become impotent.

This china wall has to be broken. Once this is broken you have infinite space available. Then one has freedom. That’s what moksha is – that you have no boundaries.

All boundaries are of belief and mind; they don’t really exist. You believe – that’s why they exist.

If you start disbelieving them, doubting them, if you try getting out of them, by and by they wither away; because they are only in your mind, they are not part of reality.

So first do this method and then do the camp, mm? And after the camp, do a few groups. Good.

[A sannyasin who had recently left hospital after an attack of typhoid fever, said that she was feeling paranoid and that her partner did not love her.

Osho said it was natural to feel negative after illness, unless one was aware, and that illness was a great catharsis. He then asked her partner how he was feeling.

He replied that he didn’t hate her, he loved her, but that his initial response to her paranoia was one of anger.]

It is natural. There is a little misunderstanding that you have to understand, and which is a good thing to understand.

When you love somebody, and when you are happy with somebody, of course health is part of that happiness. You share the energy with somebody because the person is healthy, flowing. Then suddenly the partner is ill, health disappears; you are left alone. The very reason to be with the person is no more there. You were with the person because you were feeling happy and healthy, because the other person was healthy and happy. So everything was good. Now the other person is ill. He or she is no more flowing, and the whole point of being with them is lost – you feel angry.

Unless you understand that this is a part of love, that sometimes the other will be ill and that it is natural.... Sometimes you will be ill. You have to be aware and responsible and see that when the other was healthy and happy, you enjoyed her health and happiness. Now the other person is ill. You have to serve, you have to care so that the person becomes healthy and loving and flowing again.

In the West this is happening too much because something very basic is being misunderstood.

People think that relationships are for when they are happy, good. When something goes wrong –

even a physical illness – then why bother? Find another woman, another man – this seems very inhuman. If this attitude remains, love cannot grow. Then whatsoever you call love is nothing but sex, because love means that you care for the person in health, in illness. You care for the person.

When the person is loving – and sometimes the person is not loving – then too you care. You care for the person and you accept all summers and winters. You accept everything that is in the person.

Health is there, illness is there, old age is going to be there, youth is there, anger is there, hatred is there – everything is possible.

When you choose a person, you commit yourself to the person’s totality. I’m not saying that you should celebrate her illness. I’m not saying that you should want her to remain ill, because that is a part of life. Try in every way to bring her back to health but don’t be angry with her. If you want to be angry, be angry with the illness. Don’t create any trouble for her in any way, and then she will come out of the illness sooner.

The illness is frustrating you, but don’t direct it towards her. Of course Geeta is ill, but she is not ill on her own accord – she has not chosen to be ill. One day you will be ill. And this is part of the game of being together – that we care about each other. In fact love is known only when the other partner is in tremendous need of you. When everything is going well, it is nothing much. When things are going wrong and you still stick to the person, still stand by the person, then only you show that you belong, that the person belongs to you; that you are really together.

A togetherness is a sacred commitment. It is a great involvement – for better, for worse, for life, for death. If you really love a person even death can not destroy that love. Death may come and your beloved may die, but your love and your commitment remain. When love reaches to that depth and height, it has a fragrance of the divine – otherwise it is very low, animal-like.

So nothing is wrong. These are the situations one has to grow through. Put your anger against her illness. Because you are feeling angry, she is feeling that you don’t love her, that you hate her or something. So a misunderstanding has been created. Make it clear to her that you don’t want her to be ill and that you are angry because you don’t want her to be ill. You are angry with the illness but not with her. In fact you are angry because you love her. Do you follow me?

Put your anger in the right direction and help her to come out of this, mm? She loves you very much.

Good.

CHAPTER 15

3 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin said she went back to the West because her fifty-five-year-old father was dying of cancer.]

Not very old... but death makes no distinctions between the old and the young. Whenever it has to come, it comes. We are helpless against death, and that helplessness has been the very source of all religion. If death can be destroyed, then all religion will disappear from the earth. Death is a reminder from God not to take life very seriously; it is momentary and it has to go. So play around but don’t take it very seriously, because death will come and annihilate everything that you have made out of life. Only meditation cannot be destroyed by death. That is the only thing in the world that is not of the world and is beyond.

So don’t cry and don’t feel sorry for your father, because whether one dies at fifty-five or ninety-five makes no difference. Somebody’s dream is a little shorter and somebody’s dream is a little longer, but a dream is a dream! The length of the dream does not matter in the final analysis. In the final accounting, how long you dream does not matter. Fifty-five or ninety-five or five hundred years one can live, but whenever death comes the whole is annihilated. It is just as when in the morning you wake up and the whole night and the whole dream world is simply no more meaningful – it loses all meaning.

So make it a reminder for yourself, because whenever somebody like a father or a mother dies, something in you also dies. A father is not just outside; his being overlaps your being. You have come through him. He has been the vehicle to bring you to life and he occupies some inner space.

When a father or mother dies, something of you also dies with them. You will never be the same again – a gap will be there. A father cannot be replaced, a mother cannot be replaced – they are irreplaceable.

So rather than crying and rather than feeling sorry – because those are the tricks of the mind to avoid death.... If you start crying and weeping and feeling sorry, you are creating a mist around you, a cloud, and you will not be able to see the fact of death. Death has to be looked directly in the eyes without any emotion interfering. Then death becomes meditation. No interference from the emotions – just looking directly into death.

Your father has died – this is a fact. Now whether you cry or not makes no difference, so what is the point? Whether you feel sorry for him or not makes no difference. Death has happened; you cannot undo it. So rather than wasting time, look into it. Look deeply into it, and in the death of your father you will see your own death coming, and the death of your children, and the death of your grandchildren. In the death of your father you can see the death of all your parents, your father’s father, his grandfather, and the grandfather’s grandfather.

Death is a universal fact – nobody is an exception to it; all are included in it. Rich and poor, intelligent and unintelligent, black and white, strong and weak, pious and non-pious, sinners and saints – all are included. Death is very universal. Look into the fact of death and you will see the whole existence dying, and that will give you a deep insight – not only about death but about life, because it is life that brings death.

Death is implied in life, inbuilt; it unfolds. When the child is born, he starts dying from the very first breath that he takes. When he has taken one breath, he is one breath old – something has died.

Just in the very birth, something starts dying. It will take seventy or fifty-five or ninety years for death to unfold, but it seems that life carries the seed of death in itself.

Look into this death, meditate over it without any interference from the emotions. Face it, and that very encounter will give you a deep understanding of life. Then your life can never be the same again, because what is the point then? What your father was doing is meaningless. You will be doing the same, and death will come and destroy everything. So do something which death cannot destroy.

And I say to you that there is only one thing which death cannot destroy, and that is meditation.

Everything is vulnerable to death, only meditation is not. The deeper you go inwards, the further away you are from death. The further out you move, the deeper you move into death. At the innermost core there is no death. At the outermost periphery, there is only death – nothing else.

Look out and you look into death. Look in and you look into the deathless. That deathlessness is what meditation is all about.

Ordinarily nobody thinks about death, but when something like this happens, a calamity – the father is no more, the mother is no more, the beloved is no more. your child has died – these rare moments have to be used, these rare moments should not be wasted.

So get out of the emotions, because it is futile. Get out of this Charlie Brown cloud and look into death. The further away you are, the more death will become a memory and you will accept it and then it will not be possible to use it. You are still close to it; it is still fresh – the wound has not healed.

I can see that the wound is still there. Before it is healed, use it. And this wound can become a message to the beyond.

Very good. Just meditate about it – and love more. Love and death are very similar. Good....

[A sannyasin says: I’m very happy and everything’s beautiful and yet there are moments when I don’t know what’s happening to me.]

Mm mm. When everything is going beautifully and happily, many things will happen which are beyond understanding. You will never be able to understand them because ’you’ means the past experiences – and things that are happening are absolutely new. So you cannot understand because you have never known them.

Even this feeling of well-being – that everything is going well – will not be possible to understand because people understand only that which they have known in the past. Understanding means recognition from the past.

If you have known somebody from the past and then you see him on the road, you recognise him

– maybe vaguely – but still you recognise that this face seems to be known, the way this person is walking seems to be familiar. Then you start searching in your memory and something bubbles up and you recognise. But if the person is really a stranger whom you have never known before, there is simply no recognition, then your memory cannot function – that’s what happens.

When things really start going well, you feel at a loss. You cannot understand what is happening.

That is an indication that something is happening. When you can understand what is happening, then nothing is happening because it must be some recognition of the past – maybe a little modified, changed, but it must be something belonging to the past. When you can understand, it means it is nothing of much value. When you cannot understand, something is happening. The valuable is beyond the mind and beyond understanding. The valuable is so new that the past cannot comprehend it. The valuable is so fresh that it is not a continuity with the past; it is discontinuous.

There is a very famous zen story about a disciple who had come to see his master. The master lives on a hilltop in a dense forest. It is evening, the sun is setting, and the disciple thinks many times to leave the master and go back because he has to pass through miles of forest and hilly track and then he will be able to reach to his village. But the presence of the master is so enchanting that he cannot gather courage to leave him, so he lingers on and on. And then it is almost midnight, and the master says, ’Now it is time – you should go.’ He looks outside – it is dark, there is no moon, and he becomes apprehensive. To pass through the woods on such a dark night is dangerous.

Seeing that the disciple is apprehensive, the master asks, ’What is the problem? Why are you afraid?’ The disciple says, ’Master, it is so dark outside and there is no moon in the sky even. I feel afraid.’ So the master takes a candle, lights it and gives it to him, and says, ’You can take this candle with you.’ When the disciple is getting ready and going out of the door, the master blows the candle out. Suddenly there is darkness, darker than before, and silence.

The disciple says, ’Master I don’t understand.’ And the master says, ’There is no need to understand.

Be a light unto yourself. My light is not going to help you. A borrowed light is not going to help you.

You will have to find your own light. The night is dark, life is dark and there is danger and risk on every step. But you will have to find your own light.’

And the story says that suddenly something dawned on the disciple – his first satori. The disciple said, ’Master, now I don’t understand at all. First it was possible for me to make some effort to understand, but now I don’t understand at all!’

The master laughs, and in the dark night the laughter spreads all over the hilly track and the master says, ’Now there is absolutely no need. I see that you see that something has happened. I understand what has happened, but I cannot say it to you. I know you cannot understand it but when it happens next time, by and by it will become familiar, and you will start understanding it.’

But remember, when you start understanding it, it is a dead thing; then throw it away – it is knowledge. When you understand a thing, it becomes knowledge. When you don’t understand, it remains learning; there is an opening.

Something is happening, I can see, but I am not going to explain it to you. I can see that you can see; I can understand but you will not – and there is no need. Simply go into the dark night of it.

Simply go into the infinity of it. It is immeasurable and the mind cannot measure it. It is more than the mind. The mind is not capable of containing it, so drop the container! Don’t try to force the sky into a small container. This is not possible; it never works.

Drop this container and go with the unknown that knocks at your door, and drop all efforts to understand it, because those efforts will be barriers to moving. The mind says to first understand, then to go wherever you want to, but first it makes certain that you understand where you are going and what is happening. The mind wants to label it, to categorise it. When everything is labelled and categorised and boxed, the mind feels at ease because everything is dead. When there is no label, no name and you don’t know how to figure it out, the mind feels very apprehensive. The night is very dark and the mind feels afraid. The mind will continuously pull you back.

Just tell the mind that the night is dark, but it is beautiful. It is so silent, so fantastically beautiful, and you don’t care at all now for understanding. You are going to have this experience – the experience of the unknown or even maybe of the unknowable. You are going into this dark night not knowing where you will land, not knowing in which direction you are going, not knowing whether it is good to go or not. But the night is hypnotic and it is calling you, and you are going.

Only one thing should always be remembered – that if you are feeling a sense of well-being, are happy, then everything is going well. That is indicative that although you may not be able to understand, your being is feeling good. You are getting closer and closer to your centre – only then this well-being wells up.

So listen to this well-being, this happiness, and just go into the unknown. It is uncharted, unmapped territory. Not even milestones are there.

But very good. I’m happy. Things are really falling into an alignment, are moving. Good.

[A sannyasin says: There’s a constant companion in my head that is always prejudging what people are going to think about me, about what I do. And I can’t get rid of it. I can’t lose myself in anything spontaneously.]

I understand. You are creating a double-bind, a dilemma – and you are creating it. For example, if being spontaneous is taken as a discipline, you will create trouble for yourself. Whatsoever is happening is spontaneous, and you are trying to be spontaneous. If you succeed, that will not be spontaneous. This confusion is spontaneous. Try to see the point. Sex is in the mind, and a continuously judging and guilty, critical mind is there, always thinking about what others will say, always trying to perform – this is your spontaneity.

Now you are trying to become spontaneous – which means that all these things should stop. Now what type of spontaneity are you trying for? Will it be spontaneous when you force all these things to stop? It will be a very unspontaneous thing. Spontaneity is that which is. Whatsoever is the case is what spontaneity is. To be spontaneous means not to hanker for anything else that is not already there. If your mind judges, so what?

[The sannyasin answers: But it makes me feel uncomfortable.]

So be uncomfortable! What I am saying is that is what you are – so be uncomfortable. And secondly, if you can accept being uncomfortable and you can accept whatsoever is happening, you will be spontaneous. Spontaneity is not a goal – it is an understanding. It is not something that has to be practised. All that has to be practised will make you more and more like a robot, mechanical.

Spontaneity is that which is already happening without your doing anything about it. Now not to ask otherwise is enough.

For one month, really be spontaneous – and when I say spontaneous, I’m not giving you a goal. I’m simply saying that whatsoever is the case, is the case. If you are judging, you are judging. You feel a sexual fantasy, so okay. And you feel uncomfortable with it – good. Just try to understand and see.

It can be seen immediately – and then all problems disappear.

This is the way you are. Trying to become somebody else, trying to become better, trying to improve, is the whole nonsensical approach that has corrupted humanity down the centuries, down the ages.

All the religions have been corrupted because of this constant hankering that one has to improve, one has to become this or that. Maybe the goal is becoming spontaneous. These are just fashions.

Sometimes the goal is to become holy, sometimes the goal is to become a saint, sometimes the goal is to become a revolutionary, sometimes the goal is to become spontaneous – but the goal is always there; whatsoever you call it makes no difference. All goals create tension and anguish. Live without goals – then you are spontaneous.

And remember, I am not saying to try to live without goals, otherwise that becomes a goal and again you are in the dilemma. So I am not saying to do something. I am simply saying that whatsoever is the case, is the case.

[The sannyasin answers: Yes, it makes sense but it seems impossible.]

Let it be impossible. When you say that it seems impossible, you have already translated it into a goal. When you say impossible, you are saying, ’Whatsoever you are saying I understand, but I cannot do it. It is very difficult.’ But I’m not saying to do anything, so it cannot be impossible, because only an act can be impossible. Possible, impossible is not the question; they are irrelevant.

It is already happening. You are not to do it! You are critical, you are judgemental – that is happening.

You are uncomfortable – that is happening.

And if you don’t get more confused by my saying, then I would like to say one thing more. If you still find that it is difficult to accept, accept this rejection also. If you feel it is uncomfortable to accept this and you feel a natural rejection arising, accept that rejection too. But in the ultimate, in the final state, acceptance has to be there.

For one month simply live without goals, without any effort to improve. You are not to become a saint. I’m not here to help you become saints. I am here just to help you to live the life that is already available.

This is what everybody all over the world is doing, and everybody is miserable. This attitude – that something else should be there – is the constant cancer-like thing which goes on giving you new wounds and makes your life a hell. It does not work. Once you understand that whatsoever is the case is okay, that’s how you are and that’s how God wants you to be, you relax and start living your life – whatsoever it is.

There is no other life. All other life is in the mind.

You are not confused because of your life – you are confused because of your ideals. First you judge and then you judge the judgement. You are in what logicians call an infinite regression. First you judge and then you judge that the judgement is not right – one should not judge. And then you are in trouble. Now you have made two judgements; instead of one, you have made two. And now I am saying something, so you can make a third judgement. First you can judge and then there is a second judgement – that one should not judge – and then Osho says, ’Be spontaneous,’ so now the third judgement. And you go on ad infinitum.

So, simply whatsoever is the case.... Trying is not the right word. Trying has never helped anybody.

I’m simply saying that for one month, simply live the way you are living... happily enjoy it. And after one month, tell me how you are feeling. Any day something can click and you may be able to see that what you were doing was trying unnecessarily. That way does not work. One is pulling oneself up by the shoe strings. That does not work.

Two plus two is four. If you try to make it five it is not going to work. If you want to make three, it is not going to work. It simply works in only one way – that is, two plus two makes four. This is the only way your life is working – judgements, sexuality, dreams, thoughts, fears. This is the way your life is working – simply relax into it. Stop fighting against it and stop improving it – rather, start living it.

For one month just give me a try. I’m not saying you try – just give me a try. Just relax and let life pass. Let life move as it moves; you simply go with it. And after one month, tell me.

[A sannyasin says that when she tries anything it takes her away from herself. However she is not happy. If she tries she gets knots in herself. If she doesn’t try then she falls asleep.]

... Because that has to be understood. If you are happy, there is no problem. You have to decide about that. I don’t see that you are happy, so whatsoever I was saying to [someone else] I’m not saying to you. Never listen when I am talking to somebody else. Never! Just listen to what I am saying to you.

... So it is not going to help. Come to the extreme of trying. From there the jump is possible. For you it is going to happen that way.

You want to avoid trying. I have told him not to try because he wants to try. Do you feel the difference? He wants to try. His whole ego trip is his effort and trying. And your ego trip is escaping, avoiding, so your problems are different.

Now listening to me talking to him, you felt very very happy. You said, ’Right. This is what I would like!’ But I’m not going to say that to you. I am going to force you into effort. First you should try as hard as possible. Don’t hold yourself back; go into it completely. One day when I see that now you have learned the trick of trying and you don’t want to get out of it, then I will tell you, ’Jump out of it! ’

I am a problem-creator (a chuckle). I don’t allow people to live at ease, because if I leave you at ease, you will fall asleep.

That’s exactly what you have said – your observation is right. If you don’t make any effort, you will fall asleep. So first make all the efforts possible, and wait. The day I see that now you are getting into another racket of trying, I will pull you out. The moment I see that now you are enjoying it and you would like to continue, I will pull you out – not before.

Then it will be a release, a relaxation, a release, an explosion. Right now you can get out of it and nothing will happen – you will fall asleep, and then there are problems of sleep. So first make all the efforts as totally as possible. When I see that now you have really done it and you are not avoiding and escaping, I will release you. But a little more effort is needed. Mm? Good!

[A sannyasin says: I sometimes feel jealous and aggressive about people living in the ashram. It sometimes seems to be like a false rose garden – which you don’t promise anybody.]

But what is your problem? That may be their problem. You don’t live in the ashram. That is their problem... their problem. If you are trying to solve others’ problems it is difficult, because the world is very big. You will not be able to solve others’ problems. Simply stick to your problems – even those are impossible to solve!

Simply forget all about others. If they feel that they are living in a rose garden, that is their trip. And if they are enjoying it, why disturb them? I am enough to disturb them – you are not needed! Don’t get into it. Simply think about your problems. Once your problems are solved, I will tell you to solve others’ problems – but first solve your own.

There are a thousand and one types of people. They have their own problems, their own trips going.

And you can never judge whether that is their problem or their real experience. Your interpretation is not their fact – cannot be. Your interpretation is your interpretation. They may really be living in a rose garden. I may not be promising, but still they may really be living in a rose garden. But that is your interpretation; it is irrelevant to bother about.Leave them to themselves. Their hell is their hell, their heaven is their heaven. Don’t waste your time on it. Just work out your own problems.

What is your problem? Tell me about that.

[He replies: My problem is my escape into thoughts and dreams, going into the past, into my life’s history and into the future. It seems that sometimes I forget the present.

Osho checks his energy.]

You are holding your energy. It wants to explode. it is ready to take a jump, but you are holding it; you are still controlling it. Much is ready to happen but you are controlling. So lose control. Don’t be a controlling agent. Let the energy control you rather than you controlling it.

[The sannyasin said he was doing the Encounter group next.]

Very good. So lose all control and simply move into it without any centre inside you which is trying to do this and not to do that, to be like this and not to be like that. Simply go with whatsoever you feel. Maybe it is crazy; there is nothing wrong in that. One should not be stupid. that’s all. There is nothing wrong about being crazy. When the energy is really too much, one goes crazy many times.

It is just an indication of a great energy arising.

Just today I was reading a story. A group of economists were meeting to discuss some international financial problem. A gentleman entered, an old man. He listened very attentively to the talks that were going on. Then he said, ’I also have a few suggestions to make. I’m a retired professor of economics.’

They listened attentively.

He really made very significant suggestions and he was the most consistent speaker that day. They were all impressed, tremendously impressed.

As he was just going to finish his speech, two policemen came rushing into the room and got hold of the man. They said. ’Excuse us for disturbing you but this man is mad and he thinks that he is a retired professor of economics. He has escaped from the madhouse. ’

Now everybody was puzzled because he had talked so consistently that if he was mad, who was sane? The old man started laughing, and he said, ’Don’t be worried. I may be crazy but I’m not stupid ! ’

I liked that. In fact stupid people are never crazy, and intelligent people almost always tend to be crazy. The greater intelligence is there, the more eccentric you find the person; he will be a little crazy. He will not be normal, he will be unusual, uncommon. Stupid people are very very normal in a way – they are never crazy.

So always remember, don’t be afraid of becoming crazy, because that is just intelligence, too much energy trying to find out ways to move, where to move to. There is such a traffic jam when too much energy comes. If you control, you stop your growth. Allow it.

In the beginning it is always, at least apparently, crazy. And people who are very much afraid of being thought crazy never grow. That seems to be your trouble. Don’t be afraid of what people think.

Let them think! If they think that you are crazy, you can always say to them, ’I may be crazy but I’m not stupid!’

If you don’t allow your energy, if energy gets stuck, it creates stupidity. Moving energy is intelligent.

A stale, stagnant energy becomes stupid – it is a dead weight. If you start moving you will have such tremendous possibilities opening before you that you have not dreamed about. Your future can be a very bright, growing future, but the basic thing is going to be no control.

Accept it and go into it. You will find such fresh energy moving in you and such a fresh consciousness arising, that it is worth it.

CHAPTER 16

4 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A sannyasin says: I wrote you a letter about doing the healing during the camp. (See ’Get Out of Your Own Way’ April 22nd, 1976, where Osho talks about healing, and a description of healing during the meditation camps.) I found out that it was not only giving to others, but that it also helped my need too. It’s difficult to say.]

I understand. Healing is a double-edged sword. It helps both the healer and the healee, because it is really moving into a different space which is therapeutic. When you start healing a person, what you are doing exactly is loving the person, feeling for the person, caring for the person, blessing the person. And in the blessing, the other is blessed. In feeling for the other person your energy starts flowing. In that total concern for the other, the ego disappears. The moment the ego disappears, you become a healer, not before that. Even if it disappears for a single moment, healing will happen.

When the ego is not there, when you are not self-conscious at all – when there is no self to be conscious about; you are simply concerned with the other, totally concentrated in the other – the ego disappears. In that disappearing, God is. That is the therapeutic space. Certainly it is not only for the healee. When God is there you also are healed. The healee is healed, you are healed.

Sometimes the healee may not be healed but the healer is always healed, because for the healee to be healed, the same situation is needed – that his ego should disappear – which is more difficult.

It is very difficult when you are ill not to be concerned about your illness.

He remains concerned, he remains confined, he remains contracted. His whole tension is how to get out of this illness. Because of that ego, that self-concern, that self-consciousness, the healing may be prevented. He may not be able to move into the space into which the healer has moved.

So when many times the healing fails, it has nothing to do with the healer. If the healee is not also in that non-ego state, the healing will fail. If both are in that non-ego state, both will be enriched.

Nobody is going to be a loser; both will be winning.

Just close your eyes and go into that healing space. Just feel that you are a healer and let your energy move.

[Osho checks her energy.]

Very good. You will be able to become a really good healer. You have that talent, that inborn talent. It is almost like a person who is a born poet. All persons are not poets and all persons are not painters.

Healing is also an inborn phenomenon. You have an inborn capacity. If you can just develop it, it will be a tremendous energy – much benefit can happen to people through you and certainly you will be benefited by it. There is nothing to lose; it is a bargain.

So continue to heal. As you heal, more and more things will start happening to you; more energy will be coming. But whenever you are healing a person, remember a few things.

[Osho went on to describe the attitude a healer should take towards the phenomenon of healing –

as not being something that he was doing but as something that was happening through him.

He suggested the Nadabrahma meditation would be helpful as it created a pacifying atmosphere.

He said that if the healing happened, both healee and healer should thank God, and if it did not happen, then too thanks should be offered – because the whole knows better; some illnesses are basic requirements for spiritual growth.

Lastly Osho said that after healing, she should take a shower or at least wash her hands and feet so that she did not retain any of the healer’s energy.]

But you have to be a healer. I appoint you to be a healer! And keep this box always. Whenever you are healing somebody. keep this – this will be your contact with me so nothing will go wrong. You can even put this box on the patient’s heart and then nothing wrong will happen to you; you will be protected. Good.

[Osho asks a sannyasin: What about you?

The sannyasin replies: I don’t know.]

Then tell me and don’t try to hide it. Just by saying, ’I don’t know,’ it is not going to disappear. Mm?

Try to say something. Saying is very miraculous. Half of it disappears just by talking about it.

[The sannyasin: I don’t know who I am any more.]

(chuckling) Mm! do you think that anybody else knows? Have you ever come across anybody who knows? And there is no need. What is the point of knowing who you are? Whatsoever is – X Y Z –

be, and enjoy it! What are you going to do even if you come to know who you are? What will you do then? Whatsoever you would do, start doing now. Forget about who you are.

[The sannyasin: I can’t! I can’t forget about it because I watch myself and I hear my voice change. I feel expressions changing and they’re not me.]

No, you have a wrong notion about yourself. A man is many men and a woman is many women. We are not one-faceted – we are many-faceted. We have many facets and all are real. A person is like a diamond – the more facets to it, the more precious it is. And it is good that we have many facets.

Have you seen the indian images of Trimurti? – God has three faces. You must see it. That is the indian concept of God – He has three faces. And when God has three faces, at least three are allowed to everybody!

The greater the person, the more faces he has because he is richer.

A single face will be

monotonous; you will be tired of it. You will be bored to death. I am not here to make your life monotonous. If you want to make your life monotonous, go to a monastery. That is the meaning of the word ’monastery’ – where people become monotonous. I am here to help you to become richer.

Have as many faces as you can afford, and enjoy them all.

Drop this wrong concept. Start enjoying. All voices are yours, and all faces are yours. When you are angry, that too you are. When you are loving, that too you are. When you are full of hate, that too you are. It is an egoistic trick which says, ’Not this anger – I’m not this. I am only love. I am just sweetness.’ But then who is going to be the bitterness?

Accept all! That is more humble and true, so accept everything that is there. It all belongs to you.

You are not a single note – you are a full orchestra. So don’t get identified with one thing. This is the ego trip. The ego says, ’I am good; bad I am not. When I am loving, this is [me]. And when I am full of hatred, that is some devil trying to destroy my life.’ That too is you.

Once you accept all these possibilities in yourself, you accept your total being. If you reject any face, you are rejecting a part of yourself, and that part, that rejected part, will take revenge. Sooner or later it will try to dominate you. So never reject anything. Be a multiplicity, and find out that still in that multiplicity there is a unity. You are still one and yet have all the faces. That is the meaning of the symbol of trinity. In Christianity also you have a trinity, three faces. In India we call it Trimurti –

the three faces of God – and those three faces are beautiful.

Have you seen the image of mother Kali, the black mother? See that too. She is black like the devil and she is also the mother. She is tremendously beautiful and tremendously ugly. Very beautiful and yet she has a garland of skulls. In one hand she is carrying the head of a freshly killed person; the blood is dripping out of it. And not only that – she is dancing on her husband’s chest. But this is beauty... this is totality. She is both mother and death.

So accept all. For one month be in total acceptance – whatsoever is, is [you]. And after one month, tell me. This is your meditation for one month. Good.

[The Tathata group present tonight.

A group member with a black eye said she had never been hit before and she was shocked: I was glad that it happened... that I’m still alive. When I looked in the mirror I felt very sad.]

Mm, nothing to be worried about. Your eye will be okay. It is a good experience sometimes to be hit.

It is really a good experience.

Life is not all roses, and we have been brought up with that idea. so whenever we come against thorns, we cannot cope with them. We are all like green plants, very tender, protected, brought up in a hothouse. So when we come into the world and it is very hot and there is much struggle and it is not so protective as your family or people who have always been with you, then two things are possible. Either one starts withdrawing from the world – lives in the world but in a withdrawal, closed, so that one becomes a cocoon, closed into oneself....

That’s what has happened to many people. They move with their walls around them so that nobody can hit them, nobody can shock them. They avoid all situations where any shock may be possible, but then a person starts dying. because the whole of life is shocking.

If you love somebody there is a possibility of fight, struggle, conflict, but if you are too afraid of conflict, you will never love, and you will miss a great benediction. If you want to relate to people, there is always a possibility that there will be some conflict; you can be hit at. So don’t relate – just move politely, formally; never relate deeply with anybody. But then you’ve missed the whole life and the whole purpose of it. Then you live in your grave. One should be vulnerable – that is one of the points to be taught in these groups. One should be vulnerable, and one should be able to face everything that life makes available. Death is also part of it.

I know it brings sadness, but that’s how it is. If you want to be happy, you have to accept sadness too. The only way not to be sad is not to ask for happiness. Then you are neither sad nor happy –

but you are dead.

As I feel it, it has been a very good experience for you. Something has shattered, you are shaken, but it is good. It will give you a new upsurge of energy. You will come out of it stronger. It has been a good experience.

[Another group member said: I experienced a lot of anger coming up. I felt guilty after hitting my partner.]

Anger can be a very purifying thing. Anger can be almost a fire that can purify you. It is a beautiful experience if one can go totally into it. But then it is difficult to go into anger totally with a person for many reasons: to go to the very end can mean murder, or the other person may not be participating at all – then guilt arises that you are taking advantage. the other may not be participating only to create guilt in you, because these are the tricks of the mind.

People can become martyrs just to create guilt around everybody. Then they become superior. You were angry and they were not, so they become saintly, and you are put down. One can feel guilt, one can feel that it was not right.

For you a pillow will be better than a person, because I can see that there is still anger. With a person you will never be in total freedom. A pillow will be perfect. (Osho described the pillow meditation in

’Hammer On The Rock’, Sunday, December 21st, 1975.)

For seven days every night for at least twenty, thirty minutes, go into this anger – it is still there. If it were not there, if you had thrown it completely. you would not have felt guilty – that’s an indication that there is still something. That remaining anger has become guilt now. If anger is completely poured out, it leaves you so clean – there can be no guilt. It simply leaves you so fresh, as if you have just come out of your shower. There is nothing negative about it. It is a very positive experience. So just try this, mm?

But it has been good... really good. They really got the right button and pushed it properly!

[A group member says: I’ve been fighting. It’s started coming out.

At Osho’s request the group leader and assistant comment on his energy, then Osho checks his energy.]

Very good. Everything is going perfectly well, that’s why you are confused. Ordinarily nothing goes well. The confusion is coming, but the energy is moving very smoothly and people are not accustomed to that smoothness. When it is rough and hard, everything is okay. When things become really smooth and soft. one starts feeling confused about what is happening.

You are becoming more feminine – that’s confusing. But every grown up person becomes feminine.

The male is the child. A grown up person becomes feminine. A Buddha is really a woman, and Nietzsche is right when he says that Jesus is feminine. He says it in a critical, negative way, but some truth is there. You are becoming feminine, the energy is moving really smoothly, and your male mind is apprehensive, afraid.

And [the assistant] is right. You have lived a full life without the heart. Now the whole energy will pass through the heart and you will start almost a new life, which is very confusing and puzzling. One gets settled into a certain pattern, and when one is succeeding in that pattern, it is more confusing to change it. It is very easy when you are a failure to change yoUr pattern because you are not clinging to it. But you have been full, you have been, in a way, happy, contented, but your contentment was negative; it had no ecstasy in it. Your contentment was more like a stillness, but not like silence. It was more like an absence of noise rather than a presence of silence.

Now the heart has started functioning you will feel many changes in your energy. You have simply to accept it and just float with it. This change is not going to stay for long. Once you float with it, it will disappear. And once it settles you will have a higher attitude of being.

You have always lived with the idea that to succeed or to be loved one has to do something. Now you have to learn another secret, which is a higher secret, more esoteric – that to be loved one has just to be. And the ultimate success happens to those who simply pray and wait and don’t do anything.

In these moments I will suggest that you read Lao Tzu. Meditate on Tao Te Ching. Just read a few lines, just savour them – there is no need to think about them... just have a taste of it – the taste of Tao. Your energy is at a point where Lao Tzu can be very helpful. So just get hold of Tao Te Ching and open it anywhere, because it is not a book – one dimensional. Anywhere it opens, that’s right.

Just read a few lines, taste it, and close the book. Just try to see the point of it; don’t analyse it.

At this point you simply need rest, patience. Nothing is needed to be done on your part. If you do anything you will undo the whole process. Simply accept and float with the energy, mm?

CHAPTER 17

5 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine and vineet means humbleness. Humbleness is going to be your work. And when I say humbleness, I don’t mean what the word ordinarily means. Ordinarily it means a person who tries to subdue his ego, who tries to control his egoistic mind, who tries never to assert himself – a non-assertive person. That is the ordinary meaning of the word humbleness. But to me that is a sort of repression. You can repress the ego, but by repressing it you never go beyond it. By repressing it you evolve a new sort of ego which is more poisonous because it seems pious.

When a new ego arises that says, ’I am humble,’ the ’I’ remains there. Now it has taken the cloak of humbleness, now it is hiding behind humbleness. Now the wolf is hiding behind the sheep – but the wolf is the wolf; just the skin of the sheep cannot make any difference. So I am not saying to become a humble egoist or egoistically humble.

To me, humbleness means the understanding that the ego is non-existential; that in fact it is not.

There is no need to suppress it because in suppressing, you have already accepted its existence.

And once you accept the existence of the ego there is no way to get rid of it because you have taken the first wrong step. Now whatsoever you do after that step is going to be wrong. You have al ready moved in a wrong direction.

The right direction is to see that the ego does not exist. that it is a shadow. You cannot fight with it.

It is an absence. Because we don’t know who we are. the ego exists. It is like darkness – because the light is not there, hence darkness. Once the light is there, darkness simply disappears. In fact to say it disappears is not right, because it was never there in the first place. When the light comes you simply know that the darkness has never existed. It was just absence.

So the ego is just absence of self-knowledge.

It will look very paradoxical, but let me say it to you, because right now you are vulnerable, and this will become a seed in your heart. This is going to be a new beginning in your life. When the self is not, the ego is. When you are not, the ego is. When you are, the ego is no more there. So an egoless person is not a nonentity. The egoless person is really an authentic person, an individual.

The egoless person is not non-assertive. When it is needed, he can be as assertive as anybody else – but only when it is needed.

When it is not needed he does not go exhibiting. But when it is needed, when it comes to that, a non-egoistic person can be absolutely assertive because he has no fear of the ego taking possession of him. In his humbleness, he can be assertive. That’s why Jesus is so assertive.

Christians have been continually worried about it – that on the one hand Jesus says, ’Love your enemies.’ He says, ’Please your enemies.’ He teaches humbleness, humility, but he himself is very assertive – he drove the money-changers out of the temple.

He was very aggressive, almost violent. He chased them out – and they were many and he was alone. He must have been madly in anger. he must have been in a rage – but still he was humble.

Even this anger came out of his humbleness. Even this rebelliousness is part of his humbleness.

He is not there. It is not Jesus. son of Mary. who is chasing the money-changers out of the temple.

It is God Himself. It is the boss Himself.

There is a sufi story of Jalalluddin Rumi. A lover comes to his beloved’s house. He knocks on the door and the beloved asks, ’Who is there? Who is knocking on the door?’ The lover says, ’I am here. Can’t you recognise me?’

There is silence and finally the beloved says, ’This house is too small. It cannot hold you and me together. It will be very difficult. Go, and whenever you are ready, come back again.’

Disturbed, very much confused, the lover goes into the wilderness and meditates on what has happened. Why has he been rejected? Then by and by it dawns in his consciousness what has happened. Then he comes back. He knocks again on the same door and the same question’s asked, ’.Who is there? Who is knocking on the door?’

He says, ’No one is here. Only you are.’ Suddenly and immediately the doors open.

This is the parable... a very significant parable. Let this be my gospel for you. The moment you drop the 1, the moment you can say, ’Only you are – I am not,’ the doors open; suddenly they are open.

In fact they have always been open. Because of the ’I’ you were incapable of seeing. Because of the 1, the eyes were not capable of seeing. The I was functioning as a dark curtain. You were blinded by your own 1. Once you say, ’I am not,’ the curtain disappears. The doors have always been open.

There is another parable about a sufi mystic, Rabiya-el-Adavia. She heard another mystic, Hassan, crying and weeping at the front door of a mosque, and saying, IGod, when will you open your doors?

I have been knocking and knocking. Years have been passing and I have become old. When will you open your door?’ And Jesus has said, ’Knock and the doors shall be opened unto you.’

Rabiya was standing behind, and she started laughing a mad laughter. Hassan looked back and he said, ’Why are you laughing, Rabiya? Have I done something wrong? Is my prayer somewhere erroneous?’

She said, ’Yes, certainly, absolutely – because the doors are always open. What nonsense are you talking about! Look – the doors are always open. They have never been locked, never been closed.

And you are saying, ”God, open the doors!” Whom are you trying to kid? Just look!’

It is said that Hassan looked and the doors were open and he entered. The doors are always open.

So this name will be a constant reminder to you that the I has to be dropped. But remember, again I would say, don’t repress it. Just understand that it is not. Just try to look into where it is, and you will never find it – and that not finding it will become a revelation. Out of that revelation arises a humbleness which is not against the ego, which is simply absence of the ego, which is not against the ego, which has no contact with the ego so the ego cannot corrupt it, which is absolutely discontinuous with the ego so the ego cannot cast a shadow on it. It is absence of the ego, and the presence of the self.

Drop the land you become really for the first time, an individual. This word individual is beautiful –

it means indivisible, you cannot be divided. Right now with the I, you are a divided house because you don’t have one I, you have many I’s. People have a very erroneous notion that they have one I

– people have many I’s.

Gurdjieff used to say that a man is like a house whose master is asleep or who has gone far away and has not returned for many years. The servants to whose care the house has been left, who have been appointed to take care of the house, have, by and by completely forgotten about the master.

Every servant thinks himself the master. You go in the morning and you see some servant on the steps. You ask, ’To whom does this house belong?’ He says, ’To me.’ You go in the afternoon and you come across another servant in the garden and you ask, ’To whom does this house belong?’

He says, ’To me.’ In the evening you go and you see the nightguard and he says, ’It belongs to me.’

In twenty-four hours if you watch you will see many I’s passing, coming and going, many servants claiming. Some servant sitting on the throne for a few minutes, some for a few hours, some for a few days, but nobody is the master and the master is fast asleep. That master is the self.

So try to see that the ego is a non-existential barrier, an imaginary barrier which makes us feel that we are separate from existence. Once that barrier is dropped, understood, the separation disappears. Then you are no more separated within yourself, and you are no more separated from without. Then within and without become one... in and out become one. And that’s what the goal of all religion is.

Deva means divine and nirangana means alone, pure aloneness... so pure inside that there is nothing else than one’s own being – uncoloured by anything, uncorrupted by anything; exactly what you mean by virgin. It has many meanings – purity, aloneness, uncoloured by anything. It is just as when a mirror is simply a mirror not even reflecting anything. Then it is nirangana; then it is pure.

When some shadow comes on it, it is corrupted. It is no more its own self; something foreign has entered it.

And now do the camp and put your whole energy into it. You have come to be a Christian now in a real way!

[A sannyasin says: I don’t know what to do with myself.]

There is nothing to be done. Just enjoy. Celebrate yourself... just celebrate. Or is it difficult to celebrate?

[She answers: I make it difficult all the time.]

If you enjoy it, there is nothing wrong in it – you can make it difficult. But if you are not enjoying it, get out of the racket. It’s for you to decide. If you enjoy, good.

There are only two ways to be. One is cerebration – hung in the head. Another is celebration –

dancing with totality. So if you cerebrate too much, think too much, you will become incapable of celebrating. If you start celebrating, the energy will be flowing in celebrating and cerebration will stop by and by. Come out of the mind. It is hell ! And don’t try to be a heavy person.

There is a very significant saying of Mohammed that paradise is almost completely occupied by fools. It is a very strange saying but very meaningful. Wise people go to hell! So be a fool and enjoy

– that’s what you have to do with yourself.

[The Vipassana group is present tonight. The assistant leader says: It was lovely. There was one girl who came up to me and said one day, ’I feel that enlightenment is not such a serious thing. ’]

Mm, very good! It is not. It is almost a joke (laughter). Serious people miss it. The non-serious simply enter.

[A group member says: I found that if I didn’t control my breathing at all, it tended to go completely chaotic. I didn’t know whether to indulge that or not.]

Now for ten days, allow it. The group is finished today, so on your own.... In a group it will be difficult.

If you go chaotic, the whole group will be disturbed, and it is not a chaotic group.

So you can do two things. You can join a chaotic group and then allow the breathing absolute freedom. It is going to be of tremendous help. Once it settles on its own you will feel so calm and quiet. The whole disturbance shows that much is repressed. Breathing also has been repressed too much, so v,/henever you sat silently the breathing was chaotic.

Or you can do Vipassana on your own, and allow it. It may come to a very great climax, but don’t be worried. When it subsides you will feel very new, as if twice-born, because breathing is very meaningful.

The breathing is simply saying that you have repressed so much and it has to come out; only then you can sit silently. But there is nothing to be worried about.

[A group member says: I’m just very grateful. Things happened despite me. I felt sometimes to prevent it but still things happened. During the ten days things kept pouring into me.]

They will go on pouring, so there is no need to resist. Just drop your resistance and more, much more will happen, because much energy is wasted in resisting. Why should they happen in spite of you? Go with them and help them!

[She answersw: Oh, I think I’m too small. I can’t bear it... it’s too much.]

No, nobody is small. Everybody is immense, huge. It is just that we don’t know who we are, and we have been identified with small things – the body, the mind, the ego. We have created very tiny houses for ourselves when the whole sky is ours! Even the sky is not the li mit.

But I can see that much has happened. You are blessed. Just meditate and be here. Allow me to enter your innermost chamber and drop all resistance. I am ready to pour myself – just don’t create any barriers, mm? Good.

CHAPTER 18

6 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

The inner growth is not something that you can do anything about. At the most you can stop obstructing it, that’s all. Positively, nothing can be done. But if you stop hindering it, it goes on its own accord.

It is as if there is a small plant and you put a certain pressure on it. You hang certain stones on its branches and you are trying to give it a certain shape. You will hinder it because the natural growth will not be possible. All that you can do is to drop those stones that you are hanging on its branches and don’t try to give it any shape. Let it go on its own way. You can water the plant, you can fertilise the soil, you can protect the plant from animals and children and people, but that’s all – this is all that a man can do. So growth is not something that you can do. Growth happens if you are not hindering it.

This is very difficult for the western mind to understand because the whole western mind is basically technological. Even people who are drop-outs, even they may be thinking that they are against technology but still they remain technological. The very framework of the western mind is technological. Technology means all that can be done has to be done. The only way to do a thing is to do it – that’s what technology means. It means to find out ways to do it and to invent means and methods.

In the East we have a very different attitude. All that can be done, need not be done. That which can be done and has to be done, belongs to the outer. The thing is happening; it is not a doing on your part. It is not something that you plan, and it is not something that you project. It is not something that you have to discipline yourself for. It is something that when there are no hindrances and obstructions grows. just like a tree, out of its own energy.

Just as a child becomes a young man and a young man becomes an old man, just as life grows into death, just as the morning sun becomes the evening sun and the sunrise turns into sunset, just as everything is going on its own accord – the inner growth also happens that way. All that we do in the name of meditation is nothing but to help you to drop the hindrances, the obstacles.

In old China. in ancient days, they had a very ugly and cruel phenomenon. For kings and rich people, just for entertainment, the one or two-day-old children of poor people, would be put in a pot and fed. Now the pot wouldn’t allow the child to grow and to take its own shape. It would become like a pot, so whatsoever the shape the pot has, the child would start having that shape. When the child had got the fixed shape of the pot, they would break the pot. Now this child would be a laughing stock. It was a very cruel thing but it continued for centuries. The way the child walked would be ugly and ridiculous, but rich people enjoyed it very much; it was an entertainment.

The same is happening to every spiritual being on this earth. The society gives you a certain structure and it doesn’t allow you to go beyond that. So, bodies have freedom but the soul still remains confined in pots – cultures, conditionings, societies, religions, dogmas, creeds. The body is okay but the soul remains crippled. All that we are doing here is not really to help you to grow –

because for that no help is needed.

All that we are doing is just withdrawing the structure that has been given you by the society. So meditations will help, and group experiences will be of tremendous value.

So be here for at least one month and just feel. Something is bound to happen.

[Referring to working in the ashram, a sannyasin says: But it feels as if I want to get either in or out, and I feel as though I’m always hanging about the edge.]

Mm mm. Even that is needed – hanging around the edge. That’s part of it. Nobody gets in without hanging around the edge. There is a time, an interval, when you simply hang. You are neither out nor in; you are in a limbo.

It is just as when a child is born. Half the body has come out of the mother’s womb and the other half is still inside. Half-half is bad but there has to be a period when the child will be half-way. And the same happens in spiritual growth.

The time depends on the person, so there is no fixed time of how long you will hang around the edge. A few people hang for a few days, a few for a few weeks, a few for a few months, a few for a few years and a few for a few lives – it depends on you. And remember one thing: there is no way to go back. If the child has come half out of the womb, there is no way to go back. Nobody has ever heard of a child going back, howsoever much he wants to. It was very beautiful in the womb –

comfortable, secure. no anxiety; he was simply floating. It was most luxurious. You cannot conceive of anything more comfortable and convenient. Of course life was not there, but convenience was.

But once the child has come half out of the womb there is no way to go back; he has to come out completely. So there is no way to go back, but this idea of going back can make your interval very long. The gap of hanging around the edge can become very long if you still hanker to get out. Drop that hankering; it is not possible. It has never happened and it cannot happen. It is not in the nature of things.

Once you have become interested in spiritual life and you have taken even one step, there is no going back. Blessed are the ignorant because they don’t know that there is much more to life. Once you have taken one step – and you have taken that step – there is no going back. So drop that idea, otherwise it can keep you hanging around. So the first thing to understand is that there is no going back now. You have already crossed that point. You should have asked before; it is already too late.

You have to come incompletely.

But everybody has to pass through this pain, this pain of flatness, this pain of being nowhere, this pain of being nobody, neither here nor there. Everybody has to pass through this pain. It depends on you whether to cut it short or not to cut it short.

If you want it to be prolonged, keep the alternative alive that if you want, you can come out of it. If you keep that alternative alive, you can prolong it ad infinitum. If you really want to finish it, the first thing to be done is to drop the idea that you can go back. Then immediately your energy will become concentrated, fragmentation will not be there. Then you have to go in; there is nowhere else to go.

Then things become simply easy. When there is no alternative and no choice, energy has a canal in which to move. Where there is choice there is hesitation. If the choice is of a false alternative, there is bound to be trouble. So just drop that false alternative and get in.

And the second thing – don’t divide activities into stupid and non-stupid. Don’t say that this is something stupid that you are doing. If I also think this way, I will not be talking to you. It is absolutely stupid – why should I be talking to you? For what? But I don’t divide things into stupid or wise. I enjoy everything that comes. So if you really want to get in, you have to drop these categories that this work is stupid. If you have that category in the mind, it is going to be difficult. You will not be able to get in because everything will look stupid. Then what is there that is not stupid, tell me? It will be difficult to find anything that is not stupid – cooking, cleaning, typing; everything is stupid. So drop that category in the mind, otherwise that will make you sad.

All activity is beautiful if done out of love. Whatsoever you are doing here is out of love for me.

Activity is not activity. It is because I want you to do something that you are doing it. It is symbolic...

it is symbolic of your surrender.

[Osho said that Gurdjieff used to give his disciples quite nonsensical activities to perform, but if they were surrendered to him, the disciples carried out his wishes without judging, and out of their love for him.... ]

And the people who remained with him and continued to do whatsoever he said, by and by came so close to him because their surrender was really tremendous. They stopped judging. When you accept somebody as your master, you stop judging him. Many times he may play games to see whether you still judge him or if you have stopped judging. A disciple never judges his master. That is part of the game of disciplehood. Whatsoever the master says, the disciple has to do – and in that very doing the surrender grows.

If you call some activity stupid, you are already creating trouble for yourself. It is not the activity that is creating trouble; it is your calling it stupid. How can you enjoy an activity if you call it stupid ? You have categorised it. You have already taken a negative attitude towards it; you’ve already said ’no’

to it. And of course all activities are the same, whatsoever you do is the same. You have to do it because you love me – and love is not stupid. You have to do it because you are surrendered to me

– and surrender is not stupid. Only very wise people know the beauty of surrender. Stupid people cannot even understand what surrender is, what love is.

You should feel happy that I have chosen you. So drop that idea, and let all work be worship, and let all work be your meditation. The mind may create troubles for you many times. but don’t listen to the mind. Here you are to listen to me, not to the mind. If you continuously listen to your mind, you will not grow because your mind is your past. If you go on listening to your mind, you remain the old.

If you listen to me only when your mind agrees with me, then too you are not listening to me. It is just coincidence that I am saying something that agrees with your mind, but you are still listening to your mind .

When there is something which does not agree with your mind at all, which goes just contrary to your mind, to your whole past, to your whole knowledge, to your whole experience, and then you still decide to listen to me and not to your mind, then you are on the verge of a revolution. That will take you to the land of no-mind. Otherwise you will remain in the mind – and your mind is your problem.

Your mind is your disease. Your mind is your hindrance, the barrier, and you go on listening to the barrier; you go on listening to the disease.

Enough is enough. If you want to come really close to me, stop listening to your mind. You have listened to your mind long enough. What has it done for you? Where has it helped you to arrive?

What is its achievements? Anxiety, anguish, sadness, boredom – that’s the whole outcome. Now I am trying to make a gap between your past and your future, a discontinuity between your past and your future so that the past simply becomes irrelevant to you and something absolutely new and fresh starts. It is arduous – needs courage, needs tremendous love, needs trust. And always remember that trust is not anything logical.

Just this morning I was talking about a french mathematician whose name is Blase Pascal. He had a friend, de Mere, who was a very notorious gambler. The gambler would come many times to Pascal and ask him about his problems in gambling, and Pascal was interested in the psychology of gambling so he would listen to him. He would make suggestions because he was a mathematician, and gambling has a mathematics to it.

By and by listening to the gambler, Pascal created a theology out of it – a very pseudo-theology, but very much respected. Christians have respected Pascal very much. They think he has come to something very valuable.

His logic was this – just the logic of the gambler: he says religion is also like gambling. If you believe that God exists and finally you find that He doesn’t, you lose nothing – at the most a little time that you wasted in prayer. But if you find that God exists, you gain much – eternal blessedness in His paradise. On the other hand. if you don’t believe in God and finally you find that that He does exist, you lose much. You will be damned to hell for eternity.

Now Pascal says that this is simple logic, a safe bet to believe in God. This is a very logical approach towards God but absolutely foolish, meaningless, because God is not a logical syllogism. What type of prayer will this be? How will this man pray? How would this Pascal have prayed in church? With this idea? – that if God exists I will be gaining much; if He does not exist nothing is lost – just a little time in prayer. But can the prayer be really there in such an attitude? Can prayer exist in such a mind? Is prayer possible?

With ’ifs’, prayer is not possible. So being here with me is a trust. I am leading you towards the unknown. You don’t know anything about it. You don’t know its whereabouts. And I cannot make you understand where I am leading you because there is no way to explain it. Its very nature is inexplicable. So you just have to love and trust me, and you have to just follow me into the unknown, into the unfamiliar, the strange. You cannot figure out beforehand what it is. You have just to go and experience it.

And this ashram is just a device, nothing else. I am not interested much in creating a monastery or an ashram. This is just a device so people can be here with me and can learn how to love, and how to surrender... how to transform small things into great... how to transform cleaning the floor into prayer, or cooking into worship, or typing or editing or guarding or gardening into holy experiences.

So that attitude, Bhasha, has to be dropped. Never call anything stupid. And it is not only a question of calling – drop that very background of the mind. Then you will suddenly feel that things are happening and you are no more flat. You will start being more full of energy, radiance, because they all follow love and trust just like a shadow follows a man.

And there is no way of going out, so please come in! Good.

[A sannyasin says: I stopped smoking and that seems to have helped me in some ways. I’ve been sitting a lot. I haven’t felt to do any active meditation.]

You can sit. Listen to your heart always. It may not shout so you have to listen very carefully. The heart simply whispers – listen to it. If the heart says that sitting is good, just sit. Many people have attained just by sitting. Buddha himself attained by sitting. He was not doing anything. Zen people call their meditation ’zazen’. It means just sitting and doing nothing. So just sit – it is perfectly beautiful. As dancing is beautiful, so is sitting. You have to listen to the heart. Sometimes it wants to dance, then dance. Sometimes it wants to sit, then sit.

Never force it to do something which is not naturally coming to it. Just move very naturally and spontaneously. You will see periods... there is a period when sometimes you will feel very very active; then do the active meditations, dance and sing. Sometimes you will feel very very passive: then just sit silently.

Every man is man and woman together, and every woman is a woman and man together. These are your yin and yang; this is your polarity. Right now your woman is on top of the man, so sit silently.

The wheel will move by your sitting silently; the woman will be satisfied. Then the wheel will move –

the man will be on top of the woman. You will want to do something – to jump and jog and dance, so do. Don’t think that when you were sitting it was so beautiful so now you need not jump and dance.

No, listen to the heart. Everything that the heart indicates is good. The heart is your real master.

What I am doing here is just translating your heart to you. I have nothing to say really. That’s why whatsoever I say differs from person to person, because I am simply translating what you cannot hear directly from your heart. I have to be an interpreter, a translator. I’m just giving you the message that if you were alert enough you could have heard yourself. The outer master is nothing but a representation of the inner.

I am here just like a mirror. If you cannot see your face without the mirror, see it in me, but soon you will learn by and by that I simply reflect you. Then you can just close your eyes and drop into yourself and you will find exactly the same answer that I had given you.

[The Primal group present tonight. One of the leaders said it was a very high energy group, which brought out a clash between the three leaders.]

You three can meet when the group is finished and resolve it. It’s very good.

It was good. Leaders clashing is always good! The followers must have en joyed it! Sometimes you can just pretend for their entertainment. That will be good... a good treat!

[A group member says: It was all so crazeee! And you! You are the leader!]

Yes, that’s right! I am the real devil. These are just the devil’s disciples. (laughter) I am the devil –

but there is no other way. First I have to take you through hell, then to heaven.

[A group member says: But I find that I can love a group of people much easier than individuals. I still keep running away.]

But by and by you will learn. The group is just a situation to learn that people are beautiful; there is no need to keep them away. Everybody is beautiful, but everybody is afraid. Just as you are afraid of a person, he is afraid of you. Both remain alert, and because of that alertness and caution they cannot relax. If you are cautious and very alert and tense, the other tends to be alert and cautious because something seems to be dangerous. When he is tense and cautious, you become more cautious and it becomes a vicious circle. You feed each other in a negative way and then you start avoiding. Nobody is less than beautiful. Everybody is beautiful; one just has to discover the beauty of a person.

Everybody brings tremendous beauty into the world but needs somebody to discover it, needs somebody to reveal it to him. So let the group be a learning situation and then start moving with people outside the group; then you will always come across beautiful people. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[A group member says: I feel sad and heavy. I feel that I fought for the whole group. I just want to rest. What do I fight with ? My feelings or? I don’t know. I’m always tense and scared. I felt a lot of fear.]

So you want to continue fighting or you would like...? Mm? Then drop it – it is your choice. This is what the group has to do – to bring out all that you have been doing to yourself, to bring it to consciousness. That’s what you have been doing your whole life. The group simply condensed it and focused it into these few days, so you became aware. The group cannot do anything else than just mirror you. If you have seen your face in this mirror and you want to change it, there is nobody who can hinder you. Simply stop fighting and start enjoying. There is no need to be a fighter.

Become a lover. But good....

The group has shaken you, and that’s good. Unless you are shaken you will not change your old habits. You have to be forced into a corner where you see the whole ugliness of your past and the horrible mechanism of your mind and the hell that you go on creating for yourself, and of course for others too. A person cannot create hell only for himself. With whomsoever he is related, he will create hell for them too.

So they have simply opened you. Of course it was very difficult for you to accept it; that’s what has made you tired. It was difficult for you to accept that you are such a person, but you are. Accept it

– and that very acceptance will start a great movement towards change, because when you accept the ugliness of something, you cannot cling to it any more. The clinging needs a deception. The ugly should be thought of as beautiful, only then you can cling. The dead should be thought of as alive, only then you can cling. The moment that you see it is dead....

It happens in monkeys. A child, the baby monkey dies, but the mother goes on carrying, holding the child, the dead child, for days on end until the dead child’s body starts stinking. Then it becomes too horrible, unbearable – she throws it.

You have to come to see a very significant fact about yourself. It is difficult to accept that this is you, but it is. Once you accept it, once you see the deadness, the ugliness of it, the hell of it, then there is no point in clinging to it. It is stinking – drop it! It is a dead thing; be released from it. This very moment if you can drop it you will feel a relaxation, a freedom coming out of it.

The next morning the sun can rise on a totally new world. The trees will be greener and you will be able to hear the birds sing for the first time... the graceful movements of the clouds.You will be filled with the benediction that is already there, that has always been there, but you were too much into your own racket. So get out of it!

The group has done a tremendous service to you. It has brought all the pus out. It is painful, but once the pus is out the wound can heal. Now it depends on you. You can collect the pus again or you can stop collecting pus and can drop the wound. So a great decision has to be made, and it will be good if you can make it right now in front of me. Just let this moment be a decisive moment. Just decide that this is enough – I will not be like this any more.

I’m not saying to try to change yourself. I’m saying to simply drop the past, because if you try, it will go on hanging around you. Drop it! There is no need to postpone for tomorrow – right now! Mm?

Good !

[A group member says: I realised I have to trust my own feelings more and not worry about what other people will say. But it’s very hard for me to do that because I don’t always know if what I feel is real or not.]

Don’t be worried. Whatsoever you feel, you feel – whether it is real or unreal, there is no need to bother about it. That’s again a trick of the mind so that you can ask others whether your feelings are real or not. But how do you know that the other will be right? So if you are feeling, one thing is certain – you are feeling. Real or unreal is not a criterion. In that moment that feeling is real.

Take your life in your own hands. That’s one of the basics of spiritual growth. Never look at others.

And don’t go on being manipulated and controlled by others, otherwise you become by and by a slave. The slavery is very subtle but it is a slavery. If you look at others, at what they say, by and by you lose contact with your own feelings. That’s how people have lost contact – always listening to the mother, to the father, to the wife, to the husband, to the friend, to the psychiatrist, to this and that, and always getting a sense of the reality from the outside. You lose contact with your own heart and by and by you forget the language. You always need somebody from the outside to say, ’Yes, it is so.’ You always need a father-figure. That’s not good – you remain childish.

To be like a child is very good. but to remain childish is very bad. To be a child means to be innocent, and to be childish means to be immature. So start trusting your feelings. The problem will arise about whether it is real or not; forget about it. If it is there you have to follow it. Take it as a criterion –

whatsoever feels good is good; at least in the moment it is good. Never look retrospectively; there is no point. Yesterday you felt something and you did it, and you felt good doing it. Now to say you feel it was not real is because you compare it with today. You are bringing in something foreign.

Today was not there yesterday. Yesterday was yesterday. Today is today. Today it may look as if it was not real and tomorrow you may come to see that even this feeling was not real, so never look backwards. Always look forwards.

There are three possibilities. People who look backwards – they are the people who are never able to live. They always repent because whatsoever they do always proves wrong. is bound to prove wrong, because it was true in a certain moment. When the moment is gone it is no more true. It was a momentary truth – and all truths are momentary. So when the moment is gone it looks unreal.

These people always go on missing.

Then there is a second type of person – better than the first – who always looks forward. It is better than looking backwards – at least they have a thrill in life; they don’t repent.

They dream, they project, they expect. They are always arriving. They may never arrive – that’s another thing – but they are always arriving. They are very happy – something is going to happen; they are always expecting it. They are better than the people who look backwards – because those people are always repentant; everything is wrong and everything has gone wrong. They are always feeling a bad taste, a bitter taste in their mouth.

Then there is a third type of person who is the highest possibility – they are God-ward. Backwards, forwards, Godwards. Godward means just to be in the present – neither looking back-wards or forwards, neither in the past nor the future. Just being here – and whatsoever is happening is true.

They trust it, they move with it.

So become Godward. If it seems very difficult, it is better to become a forward-looking person. The backward-looking person lives in hell. The forward-looking person lives in heaven and the Godward person is simply free of all hell and heaven. In English there is no word for it. In the East we call this state moksha, nirvana. It is neither hell nor heaven, neither pain nor bliss. One is simply silent, blissfully quiet. One neither knows any hopes nor knows any frustrations. One remains uncorrupted by any idea of the past or of the future. One is purely herenow. That’s what I call a being who is Godward, because God is herenow.

So take hold of your life in your own hands and stop asking outside agencies about it, and you will start growing, maturing. It has been good....

CHAPTER 19

7 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Anand means bliss and vandan means blessing. Bliss is a blessing – it is not something that you can do anything about. It is not something that depends on your effort – it is a gift. One has just to open towards it, that’s all. One has just to be available to it. If you don’t create any barriers for it, it will reach you. So no positive effort is needed, no pushing of the river is needed. That’s the meaning of your name, and that has to be your work.

So become as effortless as possible. And when I say effortless, I don’t mean to become lazy. When I say effortless, I mean don’t strain for it. Go easily.

There is a saying of Jesus.... He says to his disciples, ’Look at the lilies in the field – they labour not.’ It is true that they labour not, but just the contrary is also true – that they make all the efforts that they can, but that effort is effortless. Their roots are continuously working underground seeking sources of water, nutrition. On the top it may seem that they are not working, but every plant, every tree is working. Their leaves are continuously working with the sun rays, transforming them into vitality, into D vitamins. With the air the tree is continuously working, breathing in, breathing out, but still Jesus is true when he says, ’They labour not.’ It is effortless effort. There is no labour in it; they don’t strain for it. They remain in a let-go and they let life work through them.

So don’t misunderstand me when I say don’t make any effort. I mean make all the effort that you can but remain effortless in it; labour not, don’t strain. Take it easy.

In the East a calamity has befallen millions of people because they thought that there was no need to do anything. Everything is a blessing of God – if He wants to give, He will give. Hence so much poverty in the East – so much illness, disease of the mind, this and that. People have become almost dead. In the West just the opposite extreme has happened. That too is a calamity. People are simply working and working, and straining and straining and never giving a chance to God – not even a small space to Him to do something for them. Both are stupid extremes.

The intelligent man is always in the middle. The way of intelligence is the middle way – so you do, and yet don’t strain; you make efforts. yet remain effortless. This is going to be a paradox. but once you start working soon you will have the hang of it. It is a click that one day suddenly happens.

You are walking... you have gone for a morning walk and suddenly it clicks. and you know that you are not straining – you are simply going. There is no strain. no tension. There is no goal... you are not moving anywhere. Out of sheer energy it is happening. Sometimes you’ll find, looking at the sky, a song arises in your heart and you start singing. You will feel that there is no effort. It is not that you are doing it – it is happening to you. You have just become a vehicle.

Bliss is a blessing. It is a gift. Nobody can attain it but it is available to everybody. If you are open, it happens.

God is a gift – that is the meaning of vandan.

[The new sannyasin says: I have had training as an engineer, and I work hard.]

Continue to work but don’t work hard. That’s what I have felt – you have been working hard and you have to relax. You have to remember. because whenever people relax they move to the other extreme. The work continues, but the work becomes worship. The work continues but it is more out of love, and there is no more any achieving mind.

The goal is not important, the result is no more important – it is irrelevant in fact. One simply works because one enjoys. Then there is no strain. One is not working for any reward. One is simply working because one is alive. One is working because one is so vital. so energetic, and the energy needs to be transformed into creativity. One works like a mother works for the child, a lover works for his beloved, a woman works for her man. Then one works for God.

He has given so much – we respond to His gifts. Whatsoever we can give is not much, but just a gesture is beautiful. God has given infinite treasures to you; you may know it, you may not.

We cannot give anything in return – we have nothing to give. But still as a gesture we work, and we transform our work into worship. And unless work becomes worship, work is neurotic. Unless worship becomes work, worship is false.

Worship without work is pseudo. Humbug, bogus, a sort of hypocrisy, and work without worship is neurotic, obsessive, a compulsion. When work and worship meet, suddenly you are just in the middle of both, enjoying both together and a great alchemical process sets in. You are both active and passive because worship is passive and work is active. You are both man and woman because worship is feminine and work is masculine. When work and worship meet, your yin and yang meet, and there is great jubilation inside your being – you have come home, your circle is complete. That’s why a man whose work has become worship has a tremendous grace around him. He is a full circle

– nothing is missing.

Everything is as it should be... one is contented. One is so much blessed that one can bless the whole life.

Gyan means knowledge and shreya means virtue. Have you heard one of the very famous sayings of Socrates? – ’Knowledge is virtue’. That is the meaning of your name – Gyan Shreya: knowledge is virtue.

There has been a great controversy about it down the centuries. Ordinarily people think that just by knowing something you are not transformed. People think that they know that anger is bad but still they get angry. People know that greed is bad but still they are greedy. People know that eating too much is not good but they eat too much; they drink, they smoke. But Socrates has said that knowledge is virtue. If you really know, you can never go against your knowledge. So if somebody knows that anger is bad and yet gets angry, only one thing is proved – he does not know that anger is bad.

And I fully agree with Socrates. Once you really know something, there is no need to practise it.

It automatically comes into your practice. When you know something. it starts changing you –

immediately. If knowledge has to be practised, that simply shows that knowledge is borrowed, it is not your own. If knowledge has to be practised it simply shows that you are enforcing something, that your eyes do not agree with it, that your own heart is in disagreement with it, that your own being is not willing to go that way – hence practice is needed. If you really understand a thing, that very understanding is a revolution, a radical change.

This is one of the very pregnant sayings – ’Knowledge is virtue’. Socrates means that you need not try to become virtuous. The only thing to know is what is good. So only meditation on what is good is needed. And that meditation will become the mutation. If knowledge itself does not change you, nothing else can. But people think that borrowed knowledge is their knowledge; that is where they get deceived. So never believe a single word that is borrowed.

You can accumulate great knowledge by borrowing from scriptures, books, teachers, universities, libraries. You can become almost an encyclopedia, but you will remain dead because even the encyclopedia is not enlightened. You can become a walking encyclopedia, but it will be just a burden that you will be carrying. A very small iota of truth known by your own being is the way of meditation.

So if you feel that you are angry. don’t say that anger is bad – that is borrowed. Drop that nonsense!

If you feel angry, meditate on it, look, observe, watch what it is. Have a feel of it on your own –

don’t be pulled and pushed by others – have a direct experience of the anger. When you feel the fire and the poison of it yourself, and when the idea arises that anger is suicidal – not as an echo of somebody else: a Buddha, a Jesus; no, out of your own understanding – that very moment anger disappears. The energy that was becoming anger is available. Now you can do much with that energy because it is pure energy; it is fuel. It is power. That same energy can become compassion.

The same energy that is involved in greed becomes sharing. And the same energy that is being destroyed by hatred becomes love.

So remember this. By giving you this name I am simply indicating your whole path for the future. This is enough. If you can do this much, nothing else is needed. You will become a perfect sannyasin.

Prem means love and vishwa means the universe; the universe of love. Vishwa has many other meanings also. It means the space, the infinite space, because that’s what the universe is. And love basically is nothing but entering an infinite space. Love is an opening into a world of no boundaries, into a world which ends nowhere. Love begins but ends never; it has a beginning but no end.

Remember one thing: ordinarily the mind interferes and does not allow love its infinity and its space.

If you really love a person, you give him infinite space. Your very being is just a space for him to grow in, to grow with. The mind interferes and tries to possess the person, then love is destroyed.

The mind is very greedy – the mind is greed. The mind is very poisonous. So if one wants to move into the world of love, one has to drop the mind. One has to live without the interference of the mind.

The mind is good in its own place. It is needed in the market; it is not needed in love. It is needed when you are preparing a budget, but it is not needed when you are moving into inner space. It is needed when there is mathematics; it is not needed when there is meditation. So the mind has utility, but the utility is for the outside world. For the inner it is simply irrelevant. So become more and more loving... unconditionally loving. Become love. Become an opening – and you can become very easily; that’s why I am saying that.

When I say something to somebody I say it only because I see the possibility very close by. Just a little turning and you will have a totally different being. Love is going to be your work in life, so just be loving.

Birds and trees, earth and stars. men and women – everybody understands it. Black and white, there is only one language that is the language of the universe – that language is love. So become that language. and once you become love, you become prem, a totally new world will open for you with no boundaries. That’s what vishwa is – an infinite space to be, to grow. So make love. your meditation.

Always remember that the mind is the cause of helping people to become closed. The mind is very afraid of opening because the mind exists basically out of fear. The more fearless a person is, the less mind he uses. The more fearful a person. the more he uses the mind.

You may have observed that when you are afraid, when there is anxiety, when there is something that troubles you, the mind comes into focus very much. When you are anxious, the mind is there too much. When you are not anxious, the mind is not so much.

When everything is going well and there is no fear, the mind lags behind. When things go wrong the mind simply jumps ahead of you, it becomes the leader. In times of danger it becomes the leader.

The mind is just like the politicians. Adolf Hitler has written in his autobiography, ’Mein Kampf’, that you should always keep the country in fear if you want to remain in the leadership. Keep the country always afraid that the neighbour is going to attack, that there are countries who are designing attack, that they are preparing to attack – go on creating rumours. Never leave people at ease, because when they are at ease, they don’t bother about the politicians. When people are really at ease, politicians are meaningless. Keep people always afraid, then the politician is powerful.

Whenever there is war the politician becomes a great man. Churchill or Hitler or Stalin or Mao – they are all products of war. If there were no second world war there would be no Winston Churchill and no Hitler and no Stalin. War creates, gives situations for people to dominate and become leaders.

Exactly the same is the politics of the mind.

Meditation is nothing but creating a situation where the mind has less and less things to do. You are so unafraid, you are so loving, you are so peaceful; you are so contented with whatsoever is happening that the mind has nothing to say. Then the mind by and by lags behind, lags behind, and more and more distance is created.

One day the mind completely recedes – then you become a universe. Then you are no more confined to your body, no more confined by anything – you are pure space. That’s what God is. God is pure space.

Love is the way towards that pure space. Love is the means and God is the end.

[To a sannyasin recently arrived from England]

Do a few groups here, mm? They are just an excuse: you forget yourself in the group, and from the back door, I start working on you!

And in the group drop your reason, don’t analyse. Go with the process – whatsoever it is. Later on you can analyse as much as you want, but as I see it, analysis is your problem – you think about things too much.

Reason is good to a certain extent – then it becomes a barrier, a great barrier. It is good as far as the known goes, but when the unknown comes in it is simply impotent. The whole purpose here is to arrange a date with the unknown... to help you to move towards the unknown. So put your reason aside for these three months.

Do you know the meaning of unmada? It means mad. I have given you that name. So just put reason aside and just enjoy feeling. Don’t analyse and don’t ask why, for what. Simply do whatsoever I say to you, and enjoy it. Three months can prove a total revolution in your life. Simply surrender and just work for three months without any analysis, without bringing in reason. After three months you can think about whatsoever you want, you can bring reason back because then it cannot destroy anything.

Once you have experienced something, reason cannot destroy it. But before experiencing it, the reason can create barriers and you may not be able to experience it at all. So first experience and then analyse; then think about it, philosophise – never do vice versa.

In the West and now also in the East people are learning a very foolish thing. They say, ’First we must know, only then can we experience.’ But there is no possibility of knowing without experiencing.

They say. ’First God should be proved – then we can pray.’ But prayer is the only proof. Unless you pray you have no proof of God. They say, ’First we should be convinced that meditation helps,’ but there is no way to prove it.

If you meditate, that very experience becomes your proof. So for three months simply forget all your training, analytic acumen, skill – forget all about it. For three months just be here, a very primitive man. The primitive man is very pure – he lives from the heart, and from the heart the being is very close. From the head the being is very tar away. From the head the moon is closer and the being is very far away.

That’s why the head people have reached to the moon, but have not yet been able to reach the being. They will never reach. They will reach Mars, they will reach farther and farther away, but they will never come home.

From the head everything is close except the being. The being is very close to feeling. So for these three months, feeling has to be your style. Feel more, enjoy more, celebrate – and much more is going to happen.

[A sannyasin says: I feel I need a laughing meditation. I feel very tired and mechanical.]

A laughing meditation will be good. You can start it. When you laugh, laugh through your whole body – that’s the point to be understood. You can laugh only with the lips, you can laugh with the throat; that is not going to be very deep.

So sit on the floor in the middle of the room and feel as if laughter is coming from the very soles of your feet. First close your eyes and then feel that ripples of laughter are coming from your feet.

Mm? they are very subtle. Then they come to the belly and become more visible; the belly starts shaking and trembling. Then bring it to the heart; then the heart feels so full. Then bring it to the throat and then to the lips. You can laugh with the lips and the throat, you can make noise which looks like laughter but it will not be and it will not be of much help. It will again be a mechanical act.

When you start laughing remember that you are a small child. Visualise yourself as a small child.

When small children laugh, they start rolling on the floor. If you feel like it, start rolling. The whole thing is to get totally involved in it. The noise is not so meaningful as the involvement. And once it starts, you will know.

For two to three days you may not be able to feel whether it is happening or not, but it is going to happen. But bring it from the very roots – just as a flower comes to a tree: it travels from the very roots. By and by it comes up. You cannot see it anywhere else. Only when it comes and flowers on top can you see it. But it is coming from the roots, from very deep underground. It has travelled along from the depths.

Exactly the same way laughter should start from the feet and then move upwards. Allow the whole body to be shaken by it. Feel the trembling vibration and cooperate with that vibration. Don’t remain stiff – relax. Cooperate with it. Even if in the beginning you exaggerate it a little, it will be helpful.

If you feel that the hand is shaking, help it to shake more so the energy starts rippling, streaming.

Then start rolling and laughing.

This is in the night before you go to sleep. Just ten minutes will do and then fall asleep. Again in the morning, the first thing – you can do it in your bed. So the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning. The night laughter will set a trend in your sleep. Your dreams will become more joyous, more uproarious, and they will help your morning laughter; they will create the background.

The morning laughter will set the trend for the whole day. Whatsoever you do in the morning, first thing – whatsoever it is – sets the trend for the whole day.

If you become angry the first thing, that becomes a chain. One anger leads to another anger, then another anger leads to another. You feel very vulnerable. Any small thing gives you a feeling of being hurt; it feels insulting. One thing leads to another. Laughter is really the best thing to start with, but let it be a whole thing.

In the whole day, whenever there is an opportunity, don’t miss – laugh. This you have to do for ten days, and then tell me how things are going. Good.

[A sannyasin says he is starting to blossom, and asks Osho to give him a big push.]

Don’t be greedy! (much laughter)

... Things have started. You will be blossoming slowly. but that’s very good. Everybody has his own pace. and there is no need to hurry it up. because if something is done to force it, that creates a strain. So go with the natural pace. You are a slow walker; you are not a runner. If you run there is more possibility that you will stumble and fall rather than reaching anywhere. Go very slowly.

There is an old zen story, a korean story.... Two monks crossed a river – one was very old and one was very young. The younger was the disciple and the older one was the master. When they got to the other shore, they enquired of the ferryman how far the town was because they would like to reach it before sunset. They had heard that once the sun sets. the doors of the town are closed and then they will not be able to enter.

The ferryman said. ’The question is not of distance. Only one thing I can say – go slowly; don’t go fast. If you go fast you may never reach before the sun sets. If you go slowly. I promise.’

They thought the ferryman was mad. It was illogical, because he said, ’Go slowly. If you go fast you will never reach; then don’t blame me. If you go slowly, I promise you will get there in time.’ They thought he was was a madman, talking nonsense, and they ran, because the sun was almost on the horizon and setting and it was dangerous to be left out of the town. It was a wild forest and it was going to be night. It would be impossible to survive the whole night. It was getting cold and they were hungry; they needed rest and food, so they rushed.

And of course as the ferryman said, it happened. The old man stumbled upon a rock and broke his legs. The ferryman had tied up his boat and collected his things and followed them slowly. When he came across them he said, ’You fools! I told you, but nobody listens to me. People think that I am mad. This is a hilly track. You should go slowly, only then you can reach.’ But now you will be left; you cannot reach with these broken legs. The young man had to carry the older one. The whole journey was delayed; they couldn’t make it.

It is a very beautiful parable. It says that there are goals in life which can be reached only very slowly. This flowering of meditation is a very very slow process in a way. So savour it, celebrate whatsoever is happening and don’t hanker for more – and more will be happening.

It has nothing to do with your hankering. It is going to happen. The process has started... the bud has started opening. Now in its own time it is going to flower. There is no need to force it open because if you do, the bud may look as if it has flowered, but it will not be a real flowering, and there will be no perfume. That perfume is possible only when it takes its time and ripens inside. So simply go slowly:

The mind will tell you many times, ’Rush fast. Time is short. Life is short and many more things have to be done.’ Never listen to the mind. There is no shortage of time – infinity is available. If you can be patient, things can happen very fast. If you can be infinitely patient, right this moment it can happen, because in that patience all barriers disappear. Then one is so at ease, that in that very at-easeness, the blossoming is possible. But be happy – things have started moving.

I was a little worried about you. Ordinarily I am not worried about people, but I was worried about you. You were looking really sad, very dull, negative. But it has changed.

CHAPTER 20

8 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine and shraddhan means trust. But remember that it doesn’t mean belief. Belief is a pseudo substitute for trust. Belief in fact is just the opposite of trust – notwithstanding what the dictionaries say. Belief is a head thing, and trust is of the heart. Belief is dead and borrowed – trust is alive and kicking. Belief is a way of the mind to avoid the heart, to give you a substitute so that you can go on playing with it. It is an escape. All beliefs are escapes. If you want to escape from Christ, become a Christian.

The first disciples who came to Christ didn’t believe in him – they trusted him. Later generations have been believing in him. When there was trust there were many miracles because trust creates the space where miracles happen, because trust is alive, glorious, and it allows many glories of God to be revealed. But belief is dead. It is transferred from one generation to another. It is a conditioning of the mind.

Trust is an opening of the heart. It is like falling in love. It has no logic in it.

I can feel your love for me, hence I give you this name. It is falling in love. You don’t know where you are going – you cannot know; there is no way to know about it – but you can trust me. And trust is a great rest and a great shelter. Jesus said to his disciples, ’Those who are weary and tired, they should come to me – I will give them rest. My burden is light.’ The same I say to you.

Now from this very moment you can drop all your burdens. And my burden is light. From this moment onwards you need not cling to your past. If you cling to the past, the future remains closed.

Clinging to the past means continuously hankering to repeat it in some way or other. .. maybe a little modified here, a little changed there. But I am not here to give you any change. I am here to give you total transformation; less than that won’t do.

So simply drop the past. And I say drop it – I don’t say how to drop it, because those are again the tricks of the mind. The mind asks how to drop it because with the how, time enters in. Then you will say, ’I will have to practise, then by and by I will drop it.’ Meanwhile you will go on doing it.

Sannyas is a quantum leap. It is a jump into the unknown. You don’t ask how; you can simply drop it. If you trust me you can drop your past because now you have something better than the past as a shelter. Now you have a greater light than your past can ever provide. So if you look at me it is very simple to drop the past. One never asks how. When somebody gives you a beautiful diamond and you were carrying an ordinary stone in your hand, you don’t ask, ’Now how am I going to drop this stone? I have carried it so long. It has become almost a part of my life. How am I supposed to drop it?’ You don’t ask – you simply drop it, because now you have created space for the diamond.

The diamond is here. Once you drop the past you can possess it, you can become the owner of it. Just for asking’s sake, it is yours. And I don’t ask anything in return – I simply want to share it with you. And the beauty of it is this – the more you give, the more you have. So I need thousands and thousands of sannyasins to share with me the light that has happened, the treasure that has opened, the benediction. So just trust me, mm?

This word shraddhan is very beautiful. The word trust just carries a little of the meaning of it. Don’t believe in me, because belief keeps you away. Just trust. Belief is yours. If you believe in me, you will expect something. You will be constantly watching and judging as to whether I am going according to your belief or not. But if you trust there is nothing to judge. You don’t have any belief to judge against, you have no evaluation. You have moved with me... you have moved into the unknown.

The journey is strange but tremendously beautiful. It is a blessing – but only for those who are courageous to move with no luggage from the past. So become a shraddhan, a trust.

[The new sannyasin said that he lead groups: I took the essence of Fischer-Hoffman – going back through the past – and combined that with working with heart energy. Wiping out the old and bringing in something higher.

Last month something just came through me that I could not understand.]

It is something that is beyond understanding. It can be felt, it can be lived, but it cannot be understood, because understanding is a very small thing and the experience is a very big thing.

The understanding cannot hold it, it cannot contain it.

But do a few groups here. Do two or three groups as a participant, and forget all that you know about groups. Just be a participant, because it is a totally different experience. To lead a group is one thing – to participate in a group is totally different.

When you are a leader in a group, it is bound to be that it becomes a head thing. When you are a participant, you are more relaxed. You have no responsibility and you can be more total. If you have been a leader, becoming a participant will pay tremendously, because you will be looking from the other’s shore. Mm? – you have been leading people to do this and that; you have been helping them. Suddenly you change the role – you become a participant; you allow people to help you.

It is very easy to help others. It is very difficult to allow others to help you because to help others is not against the ego. To allow others to help you is against the ego. To advise is easy – to receive somebody else’s advice is very difficult; it hurts. Deep down there remains a resistance to it, of

’Whom do you think yourself? Whom are you advising? I know all this!’

A participant has to be ignorant. And if somebody is simply ignorant, it is not so paying. When you know and you put the knowledge aside and play the game of one who does not know, it is very beautiful. So do a few groups and then I would like you to lead a few. I will start working on you now.

Sometimes you will be the leader and I will work on you, and sometimes you will be the participant and I will work on you. I will put you in different situations so that different corners of your being can be touched and I can enter into you from different doors.

A man has many doors to his being but ordinarily people get fixed, obsessed with one door. They become efficient in that. Somebody is an engineer and somebody is a doctor and somebody is an advocate; they get fixed. They become so efficient that they never bother to explore other doors of their being. This becomes their chief entrance – from this they come in, from this they go out. By and by they become oblivious that the house has many rooms and many doors in it, many chambers and many hidden treasures.

To be really enriched one needs to find different ways to enter one’s own being. Whenever you find a new door to your being, you will be surprised at how much you were missing unnecessarily. This door has a different quality to it. It is not simply a door. It is also a dimension. It is a new being to you. You become aware of something about which you were never aware. By and by one should enter from as many doors as possible. That’s what inner exploration is.

First do the camp – and in doing, be as total as possible. Don’t think about the results because meditation is not result-oriented. In fact it has no motivation in it. You have to enjoy it for itself – not as a means to an end but as the end itself. So let it be more like a festival, a celebration, and less like a process which leads somewhere. It leads nowhere – or it leads here and now. Its value is intrinsic.

And you are on the right track. The journey has started. You have heard my call and my invitation.

You have come in the right time. Now it is up to me – you simply relax!

[A sannyasin says: I cannot trust enough.]

Mm mm.... How much can you trust – percentage? Thirty percent? Fifty percent? How much?

... Just try! Let it be arbitrary, but try.

[The sannyasin replies: Only half-half.]

That will do. Fifty-fifty? That’s good – more than enough – because if you have fifty percent trust, then the fifty percent distrust is bound to be defeated. There is no problem. In fact if you had said one percent, it would have been more than enough. Whatsoever percent you said I was going to say,

’More than enough,’ because even one percent trust is enough to kill ninety-nine percent mistrust.

It is like light. You bring a small candle into a dark room – it is enough. You need not bring big torches. Just a small candle will do. Light is potential – trust is potential. Light is powerful – trust is powerful. Darkness is impotent, mistrust is impotent. Doubt has no spirit in it, doubt is already dead; it is a corpse. So if there is a corpse – say, the great Mohammed Ali is dead and a small child just born is there – who is the bigger? Who is the greater? Even if the child is one day old, he’s alive – maybe very fragile. A child is fragile, vulnerable. You can throw a rock on a child and he will be crushed. He is like a flower – but alive. The dead Mohammed Ali may be Mr. Universe but that makes no difference – he is dead.

Doubt is dead... doubt is never alive. So you will never see a sceptical person celebrating. The doubts will hang around you, around him, and will make him almost dead. Only a man of trust celebrates. Only a man of trust is really powerful.

So let it be one percent. You say fifty percent – that is too much. One percent will do!

[To a sannyasin recently arrived from London]

There are problems I know – and sometimes there are problems of which you may not even be aware. This time you have to work hard and drop them. If you don’t work on a problem it tends to become part of your system. By and by it settles into your being, into your guts – then you don’t look at it as a problem but it goes on destroying your life.

And with people who are very intelligent, it always happens that they can explain away problems –

and that’s what I see with you. But explaining away a problem is not solving it. To solve a problem one has to bring it into total consciousness. To solve a problem one has to help it to flower. Once it flowers, it dies. That’s what a flower is. When a tree has flowered it seems that something is ready to die because flowering is the last thing. Now there is no more going... a flower now has to wither, to drop into the earth and disappear.

Humanity has been taught to repress, to explain, to rationalise, so we go on in subtle ways avoiding problems, pushing them into the unconscious. By and by we become oblivious that they are there, but they go on working from there; they go on manipulating you, they go on shadowing your life.

Even your small acts are being corrupted by these problems which are piled up in the basement.

They have to be allowed to flower – that’s what the work of the group is.

In the group you are not supposed to repress anything, not to explain anything away, but to bring it to a focus where the seeds can sprout. Even if it is a poisonous seed, the only way to get rid of it is to allow it to flower. Maybe it is jealousy, maybe it is anger, maybe it is possessiveness or whatsoever.

It is very difficult to allow jealousy to flower... it is arduous. But that is the only way to be finished with it: to allow it total being, to listen to what it wants to say and let it be and help it. It is painful to see how jealous you are. It is painful to see how angry you are. It is painful to see how mean you are. It is painful to see how egoistic you are. It is painful to see how sad you are – but they have to be allowed. Painful? Let it be. All growth is painful.

Once jealousy or anger or sadness come to a flowering, those flowers start withering; they fall into the earth and they disappear. They leave you alone – and that aloneness is what sannyas is... that purity when there is no problem to corrupt you, when you are absolutely alone without any problems.

Suddenly sitting there, nothing to be obsessed with, nothing to be occupied with, for the first time you are at home, and for the first time you encounter who you are. For the first time self-knowledge becomes possible. Out of that purity where no problem corrupts you....

Not that you have repressed those problems, because if you repress them they go on corrupting.

Their work may not be so gross, it may be very subtle, but it goes on corrupting you. Only when you are left alone, all the problems have left you because you completed them. Once the problem is completed it disappears. If it remains incomplete, it continues – it goes on knocking at your door.

If you don’t allow it in the day, it comes in the night... in the dreams it knocks at your door. Man has become so cunning and clever in explaining everything that now even dreams are explained away.

You go to a psychoanalyst – a freudian or jungian or somebody else – and you give your dream.

Even your dreams are no more yours, no more private – and he interprets. He is there ready with his explanations, interpretations, theories, dogmas, and he simply explains it away. Once he has explained you feel very good... you feel as if you have understood something.

His explanation has nothing to do with your dream. His explanation has something to do with his own conditioning. If he is a freudian, he explains it in one way. If he is a jungian, he explains it in another way. If he is an adlerian, he interprets something else. And he can be a hodge-podge of all.

He can make the explanations appear really clever – but it is useless.

A life does not need explanations but flowerings. If your dream is knocking at your heart it simply is saying, ’Allow me being ! I need space! listen to me, observe me, help me to be!’ Once you can help it to be, it flowers. Flowering is the end of it... flowering is the death of it. And when it is dead you are left alone. That stillness is what meditation is. It is not a forced silence. It is simply there because there are no problems. So there is no way how not to be still – one is simply still. The energy is there, vibrant, but there is no motivation to go anywhere, to do anything, to be occupied with anything.

This time I would like you to come to this point. So you will have to pass through many groups. The work is to bring everything up. No more being clever about it. Every problem, whatsoever it is – don’t feel ashamed of it, don’t feel shy about it; all problems are human – just bring it out. Give it a chance to flower. Then it ends, and it ends on its own accord and leaves you in such an incorruptible state of purity that unless you have known it, you cannot even believe that this sort of purity exists. It is virginity: it is as pure as the himalayan peaks and the snow there. Nobody has walked there... for millennia the snow has remained there; it has not melted.

That purity, that silence, that snowwhiteness, everybody is carrying within his own heart, but the problems are all around, a turmoil. They have to be said goodbye to. They can leave you only when they are complete, not before it.

So all group processes are processes of completion. Whatsoever has remained incomplete has to be made complete. Once a thing is complete, it dies. The world never dies because the world is never complete. God is eternal because God is always incomplete. Life is eternal because life is incomplete. It never comes to a point where you can say that it is perfect. It remains a journey, a pilgrimage – you go on and on. You are always arriving but you never arrive – that is the beauty of it.

[The Encounter group was present. A group member says: It was hard... becoming aware of how much is going on up here (indicating her head).]

Mm mm, it is hard. It is hard for everybody – and the more sincere you are. the harder it is. If you just fool around, it is not hard. But if you are really sincere it hurts just to see the things that you have been carrying for your whole life – just to see the whole mess, just to see the whole rottenness inside... and that’s what we have been thinking we are. It is hard but if you can go through it, the things that are creating this arduousness start disappearing.

The only way to get rid of all this mess is to become perfectly aware of it. You are not supposed to drop anything. You are not to create a fight, you are not to create a conflict. You are just to be watchful – with no condemnation, with not even a worry that these things are there. They are there

– so what? You have simply to watch – this is how you are. In deep humbleness accept and watch.

By and by you will see that the more your watchfulness arises, the more things start disappearing.

In a total awareness the mind simply does not exist. And all that is contained in the mind – jealousy, anger, sadness, misery, unhappiness and hell – they all simply disappear.

Once you come to a peak of awareness, you will see that the only problem in life is how to be aware.

All other problems are just by-products of not being aware. There is no need to fight with each problem separately. If you can simply become aware, that one solution will solve all. That is the panacea, the masterkey. It unlocks all the locks.

This was your third group? So do Vipassana – it will give you a sharpening so that you can become a sword of awareness; that’s what is needed.

In buddhist tradition they call awareness ’the sword of Manjushree’. Manjushree was a buddhist monk, a disciple of Buddha... one of his greatest disciples. His awareness became so sharp, the story goes, that when Buddha saw that somebody had a problem, he would say, ’Go and sit in front of Manjushree and he will cut your knot with his sword.’ And it used to happen! His awareness was so sharp – like a sword – that when you came in front of him, you would start trembling. His presence was like a sword.

Awareness is the sword of Manjushree. Whosoever has it has the whole world, the whole universe at his feet. In unawareness you are a beggar. In awareness you become an emperor... incomparable.

So all these hard things are going to help. They will become the rocks on which you can sharpen your sword.

[A group member says: I still try to live up to the expectations of other people and not stay with what is coming out of me. I don’t feel very centred.]

That’s a good experience, a good insight. But just let it be there and it will start changing you. Just remember it, don’t forget it – that’s all. You are not to enforce it. If you enforce you will again create something unreal. You have found exactly the place where the change needs to happen. But the change is so much that you cannot do it. If you do it your doer will come from the past. So you need not do anything. Simply remain alert that this is so – that you try to fulfill others’ expectations, that you are always trying to live up to others’ ideals, and that you are never giving any ear to your feelings. Just remember it, that’s all. By and by the very remembrance will help you, and everything will stop and you will start hearing your own voice. By and by the change will come – but you are not to force that change. if you somehow enforce it, it will not give you freedom. It may be that again you have been listening to others and they – this group... the groupleader – have told you that you are trying to fulfill others’ expectations and you are not listening to your own heart. Maybe now you have started to fulfill their expectations. Do you understand me? So that danger is always there for people with a mind like yours.

People like you are very vulnerable. If the groupleader says. and convinces you, that you are living up to others’ expectations, you will start living up to the expectations of the groupleader and you will think that this is an insight. Don’t do this any more. Simply remember it. be watchful, and pass through a few groups more and you will see that is has started happening.

[A group member says: The group has been hard for me but really beautiful. I’m always scared of the next layer that peels off, but I’m determined.]

That’s good... that’s very good. I am happy. I would like to give you a meditation now. Start it every night after the Encounter group. It is a sufi meditation... the Sufis call it ’jikr’; it means remembrance.

It is going to go very deep in you, and now the layer has broken off from where it can enter – I was waiting for it. Something has peeled off. A softer layer is there and things can go very deep now.

This meditation will be useful.

Every night for twenty minutes sit on your bed and have the light off or very dim, and the fragrance of some incense burning. You can go and find the incense that Sufis burn in the mosque; that will be very helpful. You have been a Mohammedan in your past life – that’s why I am giving it to you.

Sit silently, comfortably, and then for two or three minutes say, ’Allah.... Allah’ loudly, with the lips used. In the second step just the tongue is used inside and the lips are kept closed. In the third step the tongue is not used... just the word resounds in you, ’Allah... Allah’. You will be able to do it.

In the fourth step even that has to be dropped. Only the vibrations of it remain. Very subtle vibrations will be felt inside you, as if somebody else is saying ’Allah,Allah’ and you are simply resounding with it. The fifth step has nothing to do with you. By and by those vibrations will disappear. It will be as if somebody was playing on a guitar and then the player stopped, but for a while the vibrations continue; for a little while the whole atmosphere is full of the vibe. Then by and by they also disappear. Then there is just nothingness, the great nothingness. That’s what Allah is, that’s what God is – the great nothingness.

CHAPTER 21

9 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine and mansukh means that your mind is your happiness. Manu means mind and suhka means happiness. So heaven is not somewhere else, it is just within you – and so is hell.

They are not two geographical situations – they are inner attitudes... you create them. They are not things – they are just your mind trips. If you want to become miserable, you become. You can find excuses – they are all excuses; nothing causes misery. And if you want to become happy, you can become happy. Again you can find a thousand and one excuses but they are not causes.

Happiness and misery are not caused by anything from the outside. They are just your own inner creations. And once you start understanding this, there is no need to be miserable. Ordinarily we try to find some source outside of ourselves and make that responsible. If you are miserable you look around to see who is making you miserable, what is making you miserable. And of course you can project – the wife, the friend, the society, the parent, the mother, the father, the financial situation.

You can always find something; there are a million and one things around you. You can always project onto something – but they are all scapegoats.

You are trying to avoid seeing the real source of it. If you go on avoiding, you will always remain a slave because you cannot do anything unless you know the real source of it – and the source is within you.

When you are feeling happy, that too is within you. You think it is a beautiful evening – that’s why, or because the girlfriend is so beautiful, so loving today – that’s why. Again you start finding something outside. In both cases the logic remains the same – that you are being manipulated from the outside.

This is what politicians go on doing. This is their analysis. Hence I call psychology political as well, because psychologists also go on trying to find some source outside. If somebody is neurotic, they will go into his past, into his relationship with his parents, and they will find something there. They can even go back to the very birth pains, or to the womb, and they will find some way. So psychology also remains political.

Religion begins with the understanding that all that happens to you, you are the cause of – nobody else. It is difficult to accept because you will have to accept the dark part also. But once you accept it you are in total control of your life. For the first time you become responsible for your own being. For the first time you are your own destiny, and a great freedom arises. Then if you want to be miserable, nobody is hindering you. But nobody wants to be miserable. People continue to be miserable because their analysis is wrong. They are looking at some source which is not really the source. So they go on complaining, and their whole life becomes just a prolonged grudge, a complaint, nothing else... a cry, a scream, and all smiles disappear. But they are doing it to themselves.

Neither the society nor the parents nor God are responsible for you. Only you are responsible for whatsoever is happening. Once you understand this, suddenly a great space opens for you. Now you can take charge of your life, you have become mature – this is what I call maturity. If you go on throwing the responsibility you remain immature. Hence psychology is immature. It is still in the old logic – if you are miserable, find somebody who is responsible. You are miserable – it is because of your mother. Your mother is miserable – it is because of her mother. But this is a chain. Where does it get you?

This is very old logic. Adam was caught disobeying God. He started saying, ’I have not done anything – it is Eve who persuaded me. She is responsible.’ Eve said, ’I am not responsible. It is the snake who persuaded me.’ Of course the snake cannot say anything, otherwise he would have found somebody. One goes on in this way ad infinitum. Stop it!

With this stopping you enter into a totally different world. Stop this mind, this logic, and suddenly you have a freedom that you never had before.

[A sannyasin says: I’ve learnt from different therapies, that no matter how many groups I attended, I would still be the same person and not someone else.... Very painful to find.]

That’s very good. That’s a great insight.

... It is painful... all growth is painful. To accept truth is very painful, hence we invent lies. We live in lies. Our religions are lies, our philosophies are lies. Our priests, our politicians are lies. They go on Lying. But people need lies because lies are very comfortable. Truth is very uncomfortable.

It pierces your heart like a sharp knife. Lies are very soft. Lies function like a lubricant, they make everything smooth.

Nietzsche has said that man will never be free of lies because man cannot live without lies. He has said, ’Dangerous are those people who try to bring man towards truth, who help man to know the truth. They are dangerous – they will destroy the whole of life.’

In a way he is right – in a way. Truth is very destructive. but only destruction can be creative. So I say he is right only in a way. He is half right, half wrong; he says only one part of the truth. Truth is destructive – it kills like nothing else. It shatters you completely, but only out of that shattering arises a new being in you which can live with truth and in truth.

Lies are comfortable because the being whom you think you are is itself a lie. Truth is uncomfortable because you will have to drop this being. this identity, and of course it is an old identity and you have become accustomed to it; you have used it for so long. It has been very efficient, it has helped you in many situations. Maybe it creates misery but still it is a very efficient instrument. So when it is suddenly shattered one feels afraid, apprehensive, but that’s what a man is called to be –

courageous.

That’s what I mean by sannyas – that a man is ready to move into the world, the real world, howsoever painful it is. One is ready to drop lies and to live with the truth. Hard? – then let it be hard !

That hardness will disappear very soon – once you have decided to live with it. Then you will see that inconvenience was not really inconvenience – it was just the process of a new birth.

And this is one of the hardest truths to recognise – that one remains the same, that whatsoever we do, we remain the same – there is no improvement. The whole ego is shattered because the ego lives through improvement, the idea of improvement, the idea of reaching some day, somewhere; the idea of becoming somebody some day. Maybe not today, then tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

But the hope is very alluring, it is very intoxicating, it keeps you alive. Someday it is going to happen to you – you will be at the top, you will have improved.

To recognise the fact that there is no improvement in the world, that the world is not going anywhere, that there is no goal to it, in fact no purpose. no meaning.... It is simply herenow, it is a celebration.

It has nothing like business in it. It is a play – what Hindus call leela. It is a play.

Once you understand this, the whole ego trip stops and suddenly you are thrown back to this moment with nowhere to go, no space to move in, no time to move in. The desire for the future creates time; time gives you space to move. Suddenly this moment is all, and there is nothing else. To live with this moment great courage is needed, great awareness and great intelligence.

The idea of improvement is the idea of the mediocre mind, in fact of a stupid mind, a dull mind. The dull mind postpones; the dull mind says, ’Tomorrow I am going to make it.’ The dull mind knows well that it cannot make it today. The dull mind knows well that it is dull and stupid, so it can go on playing a game. It can say, ’Tomorrow,’ so that there is rest – and tomorrow never comes. Before tomorrow, death comes one day and everything is finished.

To live in the moment is courageous, is very intelligent. To live in the moment means that there is no postponement. You cannot avoid the facticity of this moment. You cannot say that tomorrow you are going to do it – you have to do it right now. Whatsoever you have to do. you have to do right now.

You have to be responsible: you have to have the ability to respond this moment. There is no other moment. One has to be very alert.

To learn how to live moment to moment is what religion is all about. It has nothing to do with churches and dogmas and creeds; and Christianity and Hinduism and Islam are all nonsense. It is to learn to live this life in this moment with no past interference, with no future interference; to live this moment in its purity, in its nudity, and to respond with one’s total heart; not to delay, not to postpone, because who knows? – tomorrow may never come. This moment may be the last moment. It is to live in such a way that if this moment proves to be the last, you will not repent.

So whatsoever you want to do with this moment, do. If you want to love, love, because there may not be any other moment. If you want to eat, eat. If you want to rest, rest. But let this moment be lived so totally that if there is no next moment, you can go without any repentance that you have missed anything.

[A sannyasin says: There’s a couple of things that I couldn’t get beyond living in the West. I’m stuck.

One is a feeling of emptiness and pressure in the pit of my solar plexus that no method I’ve tried will take away. It feels like a striking pain and an emptiness, and a lot of fear, a blind fear of something that is going to happen.

Osho checked his energy.]

You have misunderstood it. And whatsoever you have been doing was absolutely wrong, because it is not something that is bad – it is a blessing. The emptiness that is arising there is tremendously beautiful if you can accept it. You tried to get rid of it somehow; you rejected it. You thought that something bad had happened to you. You looked on it as if it were a disease. That’s where you missed. It is not a disease at all – and the pain is felt because you are rejecting it.

So no method can help you because all the methods were chosen to reject it, and the very rejection is the pain. There is no need to get rid of it. This is a beautiful emptiness. This is a meditative space that is coming to your being. You have to go into it and relax there.

You have to enter your own womb and relax there. This is the process of rebirth.

The first birth is out of the mother’s womb. The second birth is out of your own womb.

[The sannyasin answers: I get overwhelmed by fear, absolutely.]

That’s natural. Even in the first birth the child becomes overwhelmed by fear. Birth, to the child, looks like death. We call it birth, but if we ask the child who is going to be born, he will say, ’I am going to die.’ From his side it is a death. His home is being deserted; he is being thrown out, expelled. In fact that is the meaning of the parable of Adam being expelled from the garden of God.

Every child feels as if he is being expelled, thrown out from paradise.

The word paradise is very beautiful. It comes from an arabic word ’firdous’. And all the words –

paradise and others – come from ’firdous’. It means a walled garden; ’firdous’ means a walled garden. The child lived in a walled garden, completely protected. Everything that was needed was supplied; even before it was needed, it was supplied. One day suddenly the child has to be thrown out, expelled. The child thinks that it is a death.

The same happens again when meditation creates your womb and you start falling into that womb and your new birth is coming close. You become afraid as if you are going to die. Each birth is thought of as if it is a death, and each death proves again to be just a new birth. nothing else.

So you are coming close to a very beautiful space... but I can understand your fear. You have come here at the right time. Now I will take the responsibility. You simply go into it.

Make it a point every night before you go to sleep to close your eyes and for twenty minutes go into your emptiness. Accept it, let it be there. Fear arises – let that be there too. Tremble with fear but don’t reject this space that is being born there. Within two or three weeks you will be able to feel its beauty, you will be able to feel its benediction. Once you have touched that benediction, fear will disappear on its own accord. You are not to fight with it.

Sit in this posture (the sannyasin was sitting with his legs folded under him, spine erect). If your head starts bending forwards – it will – allow it. You will almost go into a womb posture, just as the child remains in the mother’s womb. Your head will start touching your knees – just allow it. Enter into your own womb and just be there. No technique, no mantra, no effort – just be there. Just be acquainted with what it is. It is something that you have never known. Your mind is apprehensive because it is coming from a very different and unknown dimension. The mind cannot cope with it. It has never known anything like that before, so it’s simply puzzled; it wants to categorise and label it.

You have been doing all these things on that centre, on this centre, doing this meditation and that, but that is all the mind. The known is the mind and the unknown is God. The unknown never becomes part of the known. Once it becomes part of the known, it is no more the unknown God.

The unknown remains unknowable. Even when you have known it, it remains unknown. The mystery is never solved. The mystery is intrinsically insolvable.

So every night go into that space. Fear will be there, trembling will be there; that too is okay. By and by the fear will be less and less and rejoicing will come more and more. Within three weeks one day suddenly you will see such blessings arising, such an upsurge of energy, such a joyous quality to your being, as if the night is over and the sun has come on the horizon.

[A sannyasin says: I feel the six months in the West have made much difference. I feel like I know what I have to do – get over my fear and enter into relationships, be with people, trust myself.]

You say that you would like to trust yourself, and you say that you would like to drop fear. You say that you would like to move into relationships with people – but they are all contradictory. If you really want to trust yourself, you have to trust your fear too. If you say, ’I have to drop this fear,’ you have started mistrusting yourself. The fear is coming from your own being; it is not coming from any outer shore. It is your fear... it is you.

On the one hand you say, ’I would like to trust myself’ and immediately you say, ’I would like to drop the fear’ – you have started distrusting. Fear has also to be accepted. It is there – what can you do?

When people say that they want to trust in themselves, they only want to trust in good things – love, prayer, silence. But when it comes to the opposite of these they don’t want to trust themselves; they start fighting.

If there is love there is bound to be a hate part. If you trust yourself you trust both love and hate.

You trust love-hate, because both are yours. You don’t make a division. You don’t say, ’I don’t want this hate at all. I simply want to be sweet and loving’ – then you have already started a conflict.

Whenever there is intelligence, there is fear. Only idiotic people are not afraid. So when you want to drop fear, the only way is to become very very stupid. The only way is to become so dull, so insensitive... Like a rock. The flower is bound to be afraid. It is fragile, it is vulnerable. This moment it is there, the next moment it may not be.

Human consciousness is the subtlest flowering in this existence so fear is bound to be there. Nothing is wrong in it, it is natural. The moment you say, ’I don’t want fear,’ you have become afraid of fear itself. Now it is a subtle fear. You can go on playing a game of hide-and-seek.

Acceptance means acceptance of the total. Trust means trust of the total – good and bad. The sinner and the saint in you both have to be trusted. If you choose the saint and you want to drop the sinner, you don’t trust yourself. No saint has ever trusted himself. He has always rejected the part that he calls the devil part. The religious people don’t accept themselves, they don’t trust – they want just to be sweet. But life cannot exist without the diametrically opposite. It is a dialectics.

[Osho said that in India people over the centuries have tried to become insensitive to bodily pain and are worshipped as great ascetics.]

You can become insensitive but that is not going to help. It will not give you a greater flowering of intelligence – and if intelligence is lost, everything is lost.

If you want to drop hate you will have to drop love too, but then everything is lost. That’s why saints have become so afraid of love. They talk about love but they cannot love because they are so afraid of hate, anger.

My whole approach is the approach of non-division. I would like you to trust yourself, but then whatsoever it is has to be trusted.

If your being does not feel like moving with people and

relationships, that has to be trusted . That’s how you are – why force ? Every force is a distrust.

[The sannyasin replies: I feel I could hide forever like that.]

Allow yourself. Whatsoever you are, you are. I’m not saying that things will not change. Things will change tremendously, but simply accept. Stop this nonsense of forcing, changing, doing this and that. Simply be yourself. If you love hiding, that’s okay – nothing is wrong in hiding. That’s how it comes naturally to you – you are a hider. If it comes naturally to you to escape, you are an escapist, but that is okay.

For one month remain in this okayness, and that will be trust. No discrimination, no choice. Even if contradictions are there, they are there. For one month live in this climate of absolute okayness –

and you will see that things are changing. You will start moving with people without any effort, and then it has a tremendous beauty in it. By and by you will see that the fear is not there so much, the intelligence has not been lost. When you accept even your fear, you become unafraid. Who is this who wants to drop fear? This too is fear!

You are not courageous enough to accept your own fear. You are afraid of your own fear. When you accept your fear you become unafraid, you become fearless. Do you see the point? Whatsoever you are – good, bad, sinner, saint, day, night, summer, winter – whatsoever you are, that’s how you are.

[A sannyasin says he has done Gestalt, and EST: It didn’t open my heart. It made things clear but it didn’t open my heart.]

No, it has nothing to do with the heart. It can only make your mind clear, but that too is a great thing.

Sometimes when the mind is clear people think that something has happened to their heart. The clarity of the mind is a totally different thing. The heart needs no clarity; it is already clear. There is no way to corrupt it. The heart only needs a reconnection with it.

The mind needs clarity. It is corrupted by the society, corrupted by the history of man, corrupted by culture and religion and everything. All the priests and politicians have been corrupting it. It is polluted – more than the atmosphere. But the heart is simply out of the way. We have been trained for the mind so we have learnt how to bypass the heart and go directly to the mind.

The heart needs no clarity. It is clear – you just need a reconnection with it. The wires have to be reconnected. EST cannot do that; it has not yet developed anything of the heart. In fact it is still a by-product of the technological mind. But it can give great clarity to the mind and that’s good. In that clarity things can become possible where reconnection can happen. But in itself it cannot bring you back to the heart. It has nothing of love in it yet; nothing of prayer in it.

And it will not have because once something starts succeeding, it stops growing. The person who is controlling it becomes afraid of trying new things. He becomes more and more efficient in the thing and then things stop. When a thing starts succeeding, it starts dying because it is very difficult to find people who can remain inventive even when they are succeeding... very rare people. Success kills badly, and in the West things succeed so fast that that success kills everybody.

But nothing to be worried about. You are here – I will reconnect you.

[A sannyasin says: I’ve done all the groups in the West!]

That’s good. That’s how you have become ready for me. All the group people are bound to come by and by to me. The groups are creating a tremendous possibility for growth but they are not yet complete so they leave you in a sort of limbo. But that’s good – otherwise you would never come to me. Everybody who is somewhere, somehow connected with therapy, psychology, psychoanalysis or the humanistic groups, is somehow already on the way towards me because sooner or later a metapsychology is going to be born. Psychology is not enough, because psychology is confined to the mind, and man’s being is beyond mind. It is more like no-mind.

A metapsychology is just there waiting to be born. A metapsychology will be the psychology of the no-mind, the psychology of the beyond. So you are ready for the metapsychological trip!

Just become in tune with my family here. You are a member of my family, so just get in tune with people, meet people.

[The sannyasin answers: My heart wants to be as close to your vibration as possible.]

I know... you will be. That’s exactly what you need. You need the nourishment that my presence can give you. So just feel my presence, and just absorb it as much as you can. Let it go into you with each breath. While you are here, breathe me, eat me, drink me....

CHAPTER 22

10 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

[A visitor says about taking sannyas: That’s the big fear – not the fear of being a sannyasin, but the fear of the betrayal of my previous initiation. It’s still there lingering on and I feel like a Judas or something.]

Not at all... not at all. That’s a very wrong attitude to take about things. It will not be a betrayal. In fact if you don’t take sannyas, that will be a betrayal.

... If you meet a master and you are initiated on a certain path, he is a help. Some day somebody takes you ahead on the same path. It is not a betrayal – it is the same journey. In millions of lives one comes across millions of masters. The whole life is your master. So if you don’t take sannyas that will be a betrayal, because then you are clinging to a certain thing and not flowing with your growth. But soon you will be able to.

Right now if you are able, go into it.

[The visitor answers: Wearing this outfit (indicating the orange robes around him) I would feel strange in the West.]

That’s the whole purpose of it! That’s the whole purpose of it – to make you absolutely a stranger there and to create difficulties for you, because those difficulties will help you to be very alert and aware and you will not be lost in the crowd. That’s the whole purpose of it.

Ordinarily we want to be lost in the crowd, so we conform. We just live as others live, and we are always afraid to do anything which is not in a way allowed by the society or is not expected. So we move in a uniformity, and we lose our awareness in it. To become part of a crowd is to drop being an individual.

My whole effort here is to create a situation for you in which you can again reclaim your individuality, and again you can say, ’I am myself. If I choose ochre, I choose ochre. Then whatsoever the society says is irrelevant. My only relevance is with my own being.’ Not that you become anti-social, because that too again is wrong.

There are two types of conformists: one who follows the society, and one who moves anti-society and follows an alternative society. But both are crowd people. An individual is one who follows his own being – not as a reaction against the society. It is not in any way against the society – it is only for one’s own self. And it will give you so much awareness you cannot imagine. Imagine that just by being in a certain colour can make you so alert and mindful.

In the East we have used the change of name and dress for thousands of years, just to give the person such a unique individuality that, wherever he is, he is never part of the group. Something makes him like an island – and that being an island is of tremendous help in the beginning. In the end it is of not much help, but in the beginning it is of tremendous help. It makes you so keenly alert... everybody watching you. Wherever you go you are obviously there.

Ordinarily we go on passing and doing things; nobody pays any attention. Because nobody pays any particular attention, you need not be aware. When nobody pays any attention, you need not be aware. When everybody pays you attention it creates a certain heat in you! a tension, an anxiety.

It is just the same anxiety as comes to a person who goes to talk to a big crowd. He goes on the pulpit and starts trembling, perspiring, afraid. What will people think? Or it is as stage fright comes to the actor.

Even if the actor has been working on the stage for dozens of years, again when he comes to the stage there is fear – so many people looking at him. He has become a focus of so many minds

– what are they thinking about him? People want to remain in such a way that they are not too obvious. They can simply go on passing here and there and nobody pays any attention.

This change of dress and name is for a particular purpose, and that purpose is to create around you a situation where ordinarily you would become tense. That tension has to be relaxed – and that will be your work. That tension has to be relaxed by and by and you have to transform that tension into attention. And both are the same energy.

The word attention is very beautiful; it is made of tension. When your tension is no more like an anxiety and you have relaxed with it, it gains a purity, it attains a certain quality. Then you are simply aware, attentive, but there is no tension in it. First it will create tension and you have to relax that tension. By and by, moving many times in many situations, for how long can you be tense? – by and by you will start relaxing. And when you relax the tension is released and becomes attention.

In the beginning years, sannyas helps very much. But to know it, one has to be it. So think about it, mm? Good.

[A visitor says: I’m very happy to be here. I expected much worse.]

If you expect the worst, it never happens – so always expect the worst. Hope for the best and expect the worst. People expect the best and then frustration happens. And this should be the golden rule for your whole life – be ready for the worst and you will never be frustrated. And if a person can learn how not to be frustrated, he has a great key in his hands: he can celebrate life – otherwise our whole energy is wasted in frustrations.

First we go on dreaming about things, fantasies – that is a wastage of energy. All dreaming is a wastage because nothing real can happen out of dreams. When reality comes, it never fits with your dreams, because dreams are very illogical and dreams have no limitations, so when it doesn’t fit with the dreams, you are frustrated. First you waste energy in dreaming and then in frustration.

The whole life becomes just a pendulum between dream and frustration, dream and frustration, and one goes on being destructive to oneself. That’s how people become mediocre – they lose all intelligence.

Intelligence needs overflowing energy. Intelligence needs a radiant energy. But people don’t have energy. Whatsoever they have, they waste. Then they become dull, stupid, insensitive.

So that’s a great thing. And make it a point that whatsoever you are going to do, always note down in the mind what can be the worst. And then whatsoever happens, it is going to be better than that.

[Osho suggested that he take part in the camp, saying that doing meditations almost continuously all day, another level of energy is called into action – the emergency level.]

Once it is released, it is released below the mind. The mind exists only with day-to-day energy.

When the day-to-day energy is finished and the emergency level is released, it has no mind. It is very pure, uncorrupted by society, uncorrupted by your habits. It is direct from God.

Anything else you would like to say?

Deva means divine and toshen means contentment. And this is the goal for you – to be in deep contentment with whatsoever is; never to lose track of contentment. And if you can remain content, nothing else in fact is needed. Then everything comes a grace.

Much is going to happen – it has already started!

[A visitor said she had been living and working with a group of people for fourteen years, under the guidance of Maurice Nicoll and Rodney Collins, two teachers of the Gurdjieff and Ouspensky schools. Since both teachers had died, the group moved into Subud, and from then began to fall apart.]

Mm, I can understand it. There are great complexities in it. Your problem is not simple and it has many complications. When you were working with Nicoll it was absolutely on the right track – you missed that track. With Rodney Collins, everything was good. Subud was not for you, and Gurdjieff people lost much unnecessarily getting involved with Subud, because Subud is totally different. Even if there are some similarities, they are just appearances.

Gurdjieff’s whole work was very scientific. He was trying really to create a metascience of spiritual harmony – as scientific as physics or chemistry or mathematics. His dream was impossible, but he was also capable of it, and he has left all of the blue-prints for it – they need to be developed. Much work is needed to be done on them. Subud is totally different. It has nothing of the scientific in it. In fact to Pak Subud it never happened through work on himself – it was just an act of grace. It simply happened – in fact it was an accident. He was not working for it, he was not seeking it. It simply descended upon him – maybe from his past lives, but he was not consciously after it.

When you are not consciously after a certain experience, yet it happens, you cannot make a science out of it. The whole thing remains hodge-podge. You can at the most be a little poetic about it, that’s all. But poetry is one thing and science is totally different. It was a misfortune that Gurdjieff people got involved with Subud.

Nothing is wrong in Subud when I am saying this – Subud is perfectly good. But it is meant for a different type of people – people who have much devotion, simple hearted people, peasants, religious, who can trust, and who can trust unconditionally; in fact who have never doubted. Their doubt has never become conscious.

But with people who have worked with Gurdjieff it is simply impossible to be in a simple trust. The whole thing is so scientific, so experimental, and one has to work for it. And it is not a question of God descending in you. In fact it is a question of your integration. It is not an outer agency.

For Gurdjieff the soul as it is does not exist in man. The soul has to be created. If an ordinary man dies, for Gurdjieff he simply dies, nothing survives, because to survive a particular crystallisation is needed. There is no soul so there is no question of God. Only when you are crystallised do you become an integrated point – and only from that integrated point is an integrated vision of the universe possible. Then God becomes a reality. God is real only for a real person – and we are unreal persons.

But for Subud that is not the same work. God is there, you are there, everything is available; you have simply to relax, not to work. It is not a question of work – it is a question of surrender. It is not a question of will – it is simply a question of let-go. God is there – you simply be possessed.

Now there are a thousand and one problems with it. As I see it, if we can divide human energy into one hundred degrees, then up to thirty-three degrees a man remains subnormal. And in that subnormal state, a man is very very capable of being possessed by anything whatsoever. Lower states can be there. Below the thirty-three degrees, all sorts of pathologies are possible if you relax and you become vulnerable – and it is dangerous. A person who is below thirty-three degrees should never relax. His whole effort should be first to get higher than thirty-three degrees, then relaxation is okay, otherwise he will be possessed by very ordinary things and his whole life will be distracted and disturbed and destroyed. Illness, pathology, neuroses, psychosis – anything can happen. Or in the old terminology – spirits, lower spirits, can possess him.

Between thirty-three and sixty-six is the normal range. Ordinarily a healthy person, a normal person, lives in that range. If he relaxes it will not be so dangerous. And he may have a few glimpses of the higher – but that too depends on where he is. He may be nearly very close to thirty-three – he may be thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six – the relaxation will be dangerous. If he is near sixty-six, there is no problem. If he relaxes at sixty-six, something from the above can descend on him. If you relax near thirty-three, something from the below arises in you.

To go beyond sixty-six is the whole work of Gurdjieff – how to attain a supernormal state. And it needs tremendous work. It is not a simple question of relaxing, of relaxation and let-go. It needs tremendous work to get beyond sixty-six. From sixty-six to ninety-nine is great work, and if a person relaxes at ninety-nine, then God becomes available, not before it, because that hundred degree point is what God is.

So it was really a misfortune. One of the greatest calamities that has happened to the spiritual world in these few years, was this Gurdjieff group becoming involved. And it happened because of Bennett. I have never felt that he really ever understood Gurdjieff. He was always wavering between so many things. And he had a very cultivated mind – a great thinker – but that was the problem. He synthesised many things, and he led the whole Gurdjieff group on a wrong trend.

Gurdjieff will allow you only to relax either at the sixty-six degrees, when the supernormal can become possible.... That’s what is needed when a disciple surrenders to a master. And if the master is really a master, he will watch for the right moment when to tell the disciple to surrender.

The disciple must be about sixty-six – only then. If then at sixty-six degrees the disciple surrenders, the master can pour himself into him. And that will be a great revelation; a satori is possible. Then the next point of surrender is at ninety-nine degrees. Then God Himself descends in you.

But if you surrender at thirty-three degrees or near about, you will be possessed by lower things.

Many Subud people are in trouble and there is nobody to help them. Once you are possessed by a lower energy, you are simply in a chaos. Then one becomes more and more fragmentary.

[The Hypnotherapy group are present.

A group member says: The group was good, but I slept a lot. Last time I came to darshan I felt really open and that I was receiving energy the whole time. But now I feel really closed.

Osho checks her energy.]

There is no problem. There are just waves of energy. Sometimes it is a tide and sometimes it is the ebb. When you are in a tide it is very easy to relate, communicate, be open, to love, receive, to give. When you are not in a tide and energy is ebbing, it is very difficult to communicate, almost impossible. That’s why you started falling asleep again and again in the group. But both come and go – they are both part of life. Nothing is wrong in it, it is natural – so remember to accept it.

When you feel that the ebb period is there, don’t try to communicate. Don’t force yourself to open because that opening will not be opening. That is the seed time. One simply closes oneself and remains in oneself. Use that time for deep meditation. It is very fertile for meditation. When you are in a tide and energy is flowing and going higher, that is the time for love. Then relate, be open, share. That is the crop time, but it cannot be all the year around. They say that even in heaven, angels don’t sing all the time.

So when there is a song arising, sing. And when you feel that everything is closing, just help it to close. That’s what being natural means. By being natural it is not meant that one should remain open for twenty-four hours – you are not a magical store. There are moments when one should close, otherwise it will be too tiring, too tedious, boring. There is no need to continuously smile –

only politicians do that, and they are the most stupid people in the world.

There are times when tears are welcomed, should be welcomed. There are times when one feels sad – sadness is beautiful, so when you feel sad, be sad. When you feel happy, be happy. To be authentic means never be against that which is already happening. Go with it... trust it. In the night the petals of the lotus close, in the morning they open again – but that’s a natural process.

Now in the modern mind – particularly in the new generation – a very wrong notion is arising – that one has always to be open; one has to be always loving. That is a new sort of torture, a new sort of repression, a new fashion in violence. There is no need.

An authentic person is one who is whatsoever the case; you can rely on him. If he is sad, you can rely on him that he must be feeling sad; he is a true person . If he is closed, you can rely on him, you can trust him. It is a state of meditation – he wants just to be within himself. He does not want to go out, he is in deep introspection. Good! If he is smiling and talking, then he wants to relate and go out of his being and to share. You can rely on that person.

So don’t try to enforce anything from your mind upon your being. Let the being have its say, and the mind should be just a follower, a servant. But the mind always tries to become the master. I don’t see that anything is wrong. Just live this period and by and by you will be able to watch that every month it will be so. For a few days you will be very open – for a few days you will be closed.

It is more clear in women than in men because women still live in a periodicity. Because of their monthly course, their chemistry, the body chemistry goes in periods – twenty eight days and the period comes again – an inner clock functions. In fact the same happens to a man also but it is more subtle, more invisible.

Now just recently a few researchers have revealed that there is a sort of monthly period for man also, but it is very invisible because there is no release of blood. But as for four days of every month, a woman goes into a very low energy state, every man also goes into a low energy state for four days every month, but it is not so physical, not so visible; very psychic – more inner than outer.

But if you watch your states you will be able to chart them out.... Go on noting on a calendar. My feeling is that you and your moods must be moving according to the moon, so just watch and relate how you go with the moon. Make a calendar for at least one, two months, and then you will be able to even predict. Then you can plan your life that way.

If you want to meet friends, never meet them when you are closed; meet them when you are open.

And when you come to me, never come when you are closed. Come when you are open so that you will be receiving more.

But there is nothing wrong in it – it is just a natural process. Good.

CHAPTER 23

11 October 1976 pm in Chuang Tzu Auditorium

Deva means divine and chitsukha means consciousness in bliss. Chit means consciousness, sukh means bliss; divine consciousness of bliss. And this you have to imbibe by and by into your being –

the spirit of it – that just to be conscious is blissful. Whenever you lose consciousness, you descend into misery. Whenever you are unaware, you are miserable – or vice versa. Whenever you are miserable, you are unconscious; they go together. So it can be said that unconsciousness is misery.

And whenever you are fully conscious, alert, aware, suddenly there is bliss. So bliss and awareness are two aspects of the same coin. That is the meaning of Chitsukha.

So become more and more conscious, less and less mechanical. Don’t move like an automaton: don’t go on doing things because you have been always doing them. Don’t go on doing things because you have become efficient in doing them. Remember that whatsoever you are doing, you have to bring a quality of awareness to it.

You are walking on the road – a simple thing. You have gone for a morning walk. Now just don’t walk

– bring consciousness to it. Walk consciously, slowly, deliberately. Each step should be known –

that you have taken one now to the right, now to the left, now you are turning at the road. Now your breathing is going faster and faster. Suddenly there comes a breeze or a car passing by, or a dog starts barking or a child is crying. Just be alert, so that whatsoever is happening you are present to it.

Bring the quality of presence into your life. You are eating, but just don’t go on eating in a mechanical way as people do. They simply go on stuffing; something has to be done so they do it. They don’t taste it, they don’t smell it. They don’t feel any respect for food. They don’t feel any respect for the provider of the food. They don’t have any gratitude, because they are not aware.

Eating, eat slowly... savour each bite. Smell, touch, feel, and whatsoever is happening all around, that too has to be in the consciousness. Awareness is not exclusive – it is not concentration. When you concentrate on something, other things have to be denied. Mm? If you concentrate on me

– a sudden noise outside, but you are not expected to listen to it. Then it is concentration. I am not talking about concentration, I am talking about awareness. Awareness is all-inclusive. You are listening to me – you are also listening to whatsoever happens around. You are simply open – alert and open. Whatsoever happens, you will not exclude it, you will include it. Consciousness is so vast that it can include the whole existence. It’s bigger than the sky, bigger than space.

So just try to bring the quality of consciousness, presence, to whatsoever you are doing. Taking a shower, bring it: by and by you will see it as a blessing, like a shower of pure energy, and you will feel soaked with it. And once you start making contact with that energy that always comes whenever you are alert, you will be surprised at how much you have missed in your life. And it was always yours. You just needed one thing, and that was awareness. You have lived in a sort of a sleep, you have been a somnambulist.

Hence I give you the name Chitsukha. Now get out of your sleep and get out of your dreams!

[A visitor says she cannot take sannyas: I think I will go the same way as your sannyasins, but I think I must do this on my own, not in this community because I have been in a lot of other prisons in my life – childrens’ homes, boarding homes, schools – so I feel to be free.]

You be free – but you don’t know my sannyas. Be free and soon you will understand that you cannot be more free than my sannyasins can be. But wait. Soon you will start feeling jealous (laughter)...

jealous of my sannyasins.

[She answers: Maybe.... But why cannot I go on my own by myself?]

You try! I’m not saying not to try – you try. But that is a reaction against your past – it is not freedom.

Because in the past something has happened, that makes you afraid of any communities, of any group, of becoming part of any sort of thing. This is just a reaction from the past – it is not freedom.

Just be here. I am not in a hurry to give you sannyas. Just be here and enjoy... feel what sannyas is. Be with sannyasins, see and watch, and you will know that on your own you will never be so free, because this sannyas is something absolutely new on the earth .

They look as if they are a group, but they are related to me directly and individually. They are not related to each other as a group, and I have no discipline over them – they are not confined in any way.

In fact what you will do on your own is to be confined to yourself, that’s all. You yourself will become your imprisonment now. You have become afraid of other imprisonments – now you will be imprisoned in your ego, and that can be the worst imprisonment possible. You have not been aware that a person can be imprisoned in his own ego, and can call it independence and freedom –

and it cannot be freedom.

... Just wait. Meditate and listen to me.... So it is only a question of time. You can delay it as much as you want, but as far as I am concerned, you have already become a sannyasin. I can look into you. You are not afraid of me – you are afraid of your past, but you don’t understand that I am not a part of your past. You are afraid of your past entanglements, but this is not at all in any way related to your past entanglements. It is absolute freedom.

... I confer absolute freedom on you. Now look at me. This will be your name: Ma Prem Satisha.

Prem means love and satisha means goddess; goddess of existence. Sat means existence and isha means goddess; goddess of love and existence or love and the divinity. And hereby I make you absolutely free – free and orange!

[Osho mentioned this new sannyasin in discourse the following morning, saying:]

Just last night one woman seeker was saying, ’I would do what other sannyasins are doing, but I cannot surrender... I cannot lose my freedom. I have lived in my confinements from my very childhood, in many disciplines. Now I am afraid to get involved in another imprisonment.’ I said,

’Don’t be worried. I confer freedom upon you – an absolute freedom.’

Sannyas is freedom. If you understand rightly, it is absolute freedom. And the woman understood the point because I said, ’Now you are afraid that you may get into another trap, but are you aware? Your ego itself can become the trap – and the greatest of all. You have lived in many other commitments, but your own ego can become the imprisonment.’

When you surrender to a nobody, he cannot make an imprisonment of you, and the very danger of your own ego becoming an imprisonment for you disappears. When you surrender to me, you are not really surrendering to me, because I am not here. And I am not enjoying your surrender at all.

Whether you surrender or not makes no difference to me. In fact when you surrender to me, you surrender yourself – you don’t surrender to me. You simply surrender your ego. I am just a device, an excuse.

It will be difficult for you to go and surrender to the river or to the sky or to the stars – it will be difficult and you will look a little ridiculous. So I pretend to be here (laughter), just to help you so that you don’t feel ridiculous, and so that you can put your ego somewhere. There is nobody to receive it and nobody to be happy about it, but it helps.

Buddha used to call such things devices, ’upaya’. It is just an ’upaya’, a device. to those who cannot put their egos down unless they find some feet. I make my feet available to you, but inside there is nobody.

[A sannyasin says: I’m becoming more mad.

... It’s coming out. I’ve been holding it down.

... I keep judging it.]

I always thought that you were perfectly mad, so how can you be more mad? You cannot be! Enjoy it. Don’t be worried.

... That is really neurosis. Madness in itself is not a pathology, but if you judge it and you repress it, you are getting into a pathological state.

Don’t judge it – madness is perfectly good. The whole existence is mad, otherwise it cannot exist.

You think these trees are sane? These birds singing in the morning? You think the stars moving are sane? You think God is sane? If God were sane He would have committed suicide long ago, but He continues.

Nothing is wrong with madness; you have to accept it. Once your madness changes its quality completely, a new dimension opens to it. The madness itself can become your meditation. All the mystics have been mad people, but mad with a method. They transform their madness in a creative way. Then the same madness became a great enlightenment, a great realisation.

The same madness can become dance, it can become poetry, it can become music, or if you judge it can become pathology. So don’t judge it – judge ye not. Accept it, love it. That’s how you are so what can Prabuddha do? If Prabuddha is mad, he is mad. So what? There is no need to judge it.

Accept it and enjoy it. And suddenly when you start enjoying it, it disappears, because madness cannot exist when you enjoy it. When there is no tension, no anxiety, how can madness exist? If you judge, there is tension.

[The sannyasin says: Sometimes when I go out of my room and I see somebody, I just can’t bear to look at them. I can’t talk to them.]

Don’t look! Who is forcing you? There is no necessity.

... Nothing is wrong. You must be enjoying your loneliness better, that’s why the comparison arises.

There are people who enjoy company. When they are alone they feel mad. If you leave them alone in a room they cannot be in the room, they feel mad... that they will do something.

There have been many experiments in sense deprivation. A person is kept in a cabin or in a tub, in a closed place, for a few hours. It is very difficult for people. Just after forty or fifty minutes they become so anxious to get out of there; the loneliness is such a torture. At the most people can tolerate six hours. Beyond that they start going neurotic or crazy – and normal people!

So there are people who cannot live alone – they always hanker for company – and then there are people who are happy alone but always feel some tension in company. Your situation is better than the other type of person. At least you are at home with yourself. So live more silently and more alone. Enjoy your solitude and avoid relationships for one month. Then after one month, tell me how things are, mm? Good.

[The Tao group is present. One group member says: I was very confused because I felt I was opening on one side and closing down on the other.

This morning I felt in a very silent mood, looking inwards more and not intervening – just watching what’s happening with the conflict and seeing the ego.]

The group has been really good. It may not have been ecstatic, but it has been very very useful.

And you misunderstood, that’s why the problem was there.

Whenever you open, you simultaneously close also. If you become open towards love, you close towards your hatred. If you become more open to compassion, you become more closed to anger

– that is natural. When you open towards the sky, you become closed towards the earth – that is natural. In the beginning this is how it is going to be. You cannot go in all directions. When you start going in one direction, all other directions are left.

One day it becomes possible – but that is the very last thing – that suddenly you are so free –

you are freedom – that you can move in all directions, all together. Then you can be angry and compassionate at the same time. and there will be no conflict in it. But that will take time... wait for it.

Right now whenever you are opening to something, immediately you will be closing to something else – the opposite will be closed. Where your energy has been flowing will be closed and your whole energy will be channelised into a new dimension – this is natural. You became confused because you thought, ’What is happening? On one hand I’m becoming open, on another I’m becoming closed.’ You started looking at these two things and you became confused because you could not figure it out – but this is natural.

The group has done something beautiful in you, and you will be reaping more and more in the camp because of this group. After passing through five, six, seven groups, you will have a complete grip of your being, because you will enter again and again from different doors. It is very good to know oneself from different angles. Man is a multi-faceted being – he has many faces – and one has to know one’s many faces. Then there is only a possibility of knowing the original face, the innermost core – not before it.

Anand means bliss, nirakar means formless – formless bliss.

In the East we have conceived of God in two ways: one is with form, another is without form. The unmanifest God is without form, and the manifest world is God manifest with form. But everything is divine – whether in form or formless. You are divine in form. One day when you disappear and you leave the body behind and you are not reborn again, then you disappear into the formless, as a river disappears into the ocean. Then the river loses its form, its embodied existence. Then there are no boundaries to it.

We are gods in form, and we are towards the formless God. And that is the whole journey of sannyas

– from form to formless... from word to wordless... from mind to no-mind.

So remember it. Whenever you see something.... You see a tree – don’t just remain with the form of the tree. Try to penetrate into the being of the tree which is formless. The tree is just a form. As you are a form, the rock is a form, the cloud is a form. If you start looking into things deeper and penetrating to the formless, you will see that one pervades all. The many are just the faces of the one, and that one has no limitations. The one is beginningless, endless.

So just try to see into things deeply and try to bypass the form. You see a woman who is beautiful.

Try to look into the beauty of the woman and forget the form. Suddenly you will be meeting the divine beauty. You listen to music... somebody is playing on the guitar. Forget the form of the player and the form of the guitar, and suddenly you are surrounded by divine music – something celestial, something not of this world, something of the beyond.

Table of Contents

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23